Meet Maxine and Millie, your new mom friends! Learn a little about who we are and why we thought adding a podcast to our already packed lives was a good idea. You'll hear about Millie's household menagerie (including a horse who can't eat solid food) and Maxine's husband upgrade. We’ll also reminisce about the good old days of Halloween in the 80s and introduce “Millie and Maxine’s Late-Night Grab Bag.”

Please join us - because a midlife crisis is more fun with friends!

[01:26] – Introducing Millie

[02:20] – Why Mel Robbins is responsible for this podcast

[04:13] – Introducing Maxine

[05:10] – Why friends are like mushrooms (aka why Maxine wanted to start a podcast)

[07:53] – Halloween fun (and why it was so much better when we were kids)

[22:04] – Grab Bag: Was your high school anthem by Pearl Jam? Or Andrew Lloyd Webber?

If you like hanging out with us, please subscribe, rate, review, and share the podcast. It would mean a whole lot to us! And if you want to see the jammies that made us sweat our balls off, here you go!

https://www.amazon.com/Just-Love-Onesies-Pajamas-Skeleton/dp/B01I0Q2PKS/ref=sr_1_10?crid=10065PGBYCWBJ&keywords=halloween+pajamas&qid=1698609475&sprefix=halloween+pajamas%2Caps%2C113&sr=8-10

https://www.amazon.com/Printed-Pajamas-Loungewear-Nightwear-Sleepwear/dp/B089S1BPX6/ref=sr_1_6?crid=3BJA3E12YKL4Y&keywords=halloween+pajamas+for+women+shorts+set+pumpkin&qid=1698609529&sprefix=halloween+pajamas+for+women+shorts+set+pumpkin%2Caps%2C128&sr=8-6

Music: Feather Duster by Shane Ivers – https://www.silvermansound.com

So,I think that we want to maybe start off with talking about who the hell we are and why the fuck we're doing this, maybe? Exactly. Yeah, no, I think, I think that's exactly what we need to do. We are 40 somethings. Correct. We have kids -coming up on 40 something more soon. We have careers. we have husbands, do you do. We do have husbands. You've had one for a long time. I have. I have a newish one, this model anyway. I've upgraded. Late model [00:01:00] husband. You did. I'm not gonna lie. You struck gold this time. I know, we're so honeymoon-y. Okay. Oh, that's so cute. Why don't why don't we.

And it's, I mean, it's true. Like we can't find anything out there that we can relate to. No! Every time I've been like. Because it's not like fucking rainbows and sunshine. Shit is messy right now. And you kind of have these itchy moments like, I missed out. I missed out. I didn't do what I was supposed to do or why didn't I try this or..You know, because you get caught up in the beauty of raising kids, but like I say it's, it's traumatic as hell. But it's like, you kind of stop and you look around and you're like, how did I get here? [00:04:00] Yeah. Is this the life I really signed up for? Not exactly. I can't do it over now, like, I keep thinking about that. Like when do I get to hit restart? Okay. So. Anyway, let's talk about you. I recently married. Been married, you know, a thousand times before that . But, really hit the jackpot with this one. Yup. Three incredible children. Yep. they're young adults, mine are. One is on the spectrum. One has ADHD and all three of them are gifted. So like you, that's kind of some fuckery in the education system. We're navigating all the time to try and make sure everybody's needs are being met. My background is education. I've been in education for a million years, right. Specifically special education. I'm working on my doctorate right now, as you know, Which we'll talk about in more detail at some point. We're going to - I'm getting close to that finish line. Wooh. Awesome. For the record. That was me trying to woo. What was that? I don't know. [00:05:00]

I think I need more wine. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. We have our...

we have a somalier, it's fine. She's gonna bring the goods.

Did you say forage? I was, I thought that's what you meant though. Like forage foraging for mom friends. Can that be the title of this episode?I'm in the Family Forest foraging for mom, friends. That's what I'm saying. Like, Right. And sometimes you get the friends, the mushrooms, cause I'm going, I'm going with this analogy, right? You're foraging for mushrooms. Only some of them are edible. The rest will kill you. So many of them are poisonous. Not to be an asshole. It's just not the right fit. And so, if you can find your besties out there in cyber world, who can be on this journey with you. Dude I'm here for it. Yeah. Me too. Right. So like right now, I fall asleep listening to true, true crime. I'd [00:07:00] rather fall asleep listening to just, you know, something that isn't about murder, but, I mean. I don't know how you do that. I don't know. I have weird dreams. I did have some weird dreams last night because of all the candy corn I ate

Is that true? Candy corn gave you bad dreams. Okay. So. You know, I'm kind of earthy hippie mommy don't eat a lot of, processed shit, yes. Oh yes. Okay. That's the real story here is that you were eating candy corn.

So I, I, I really liked those fucking harvest medleys or whatever the shit. The ones that are shaped, like pumpkins, they're better. Okay. I got into those last night. And because of that I had some crazy-ass dreams. Vivid as Hell, too. I think it was the food coloring.

Yes, with my horse that has ear mites Oh, he has a fungal infect.... I didn't know it was a fungal infection. I thought it was ear mites. He's got ear mites and he can't eat anything solid. He chokes and that'll kill him. Do you fucking baby bird him? Sort of. Sort now that this is a whole nother conversation. So anyway, She's going as the headless horseman. Which we got a pretty kick ass costume that we pieced together, and then she made the head. It's going to be really neat. That's, cool. But so now we have this, Ken shirt that was ordered to fit a 14 year old child that my husband is...Shit, please let me see pictures of that...

Do you know what I'm gonna do with those fucking pictures?

This is why. I'm not saying his name. So the three of us are going to go as Barbie, Barbie, and Ken or whatever, you know? And the Headless Horseman.

She has fucking accessories. Have you noticed that with Halloween now? Oh, you got to go all out. You have to buy accessories. All right. They don't come in, in the fucking costume. It's and I need to buy this piece, and this piece, so a horse? Absolutely.

Usually some sort of like trash bag costs. Right. Something plastic. That's smelled still like gasoline or gypsy or I'm a cat. You and your gypsy.

on Halloween. We didn't give a fuck. And neither did our parents. No, no. Well, this was the eighties. Nobody. Nobody drove us around.

Oh girl, I have such as. I have some Halloween stories from Alaska, but that's a whole separate conversation, but I'm talking about us when we. We may turn our asses loose. Yep. Oh, and then, but come home. You can't eat anything. Come home. I got to cut it all open and look for razorblades. To separate it out. We're going to look for razorblades. We're going to look like. Weapons, but see, I still feel like most of that was just so they could take shit that they want for sure. Oh, that Snickers bar looks like. Tampered with, let me have that. Yeah. You know, because then like,

And the parents follow up on. Then drinking and snacking. You know, it's like this really fun. So that's a little bit like how it is in the neighborhood we found. That's not that far from here, we drive over there. I wish we could drive the golf cart, but we can't. No, that's the problem. Like, oh, I just made myself sound even more pretentious. Yes, we have a golf cart. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to cut all this shit out.

Bagel bites. Oh, we are. My kids just discovered those. No, my kids are old now. So. I wasn't going to go with old. I'm going to go with young adults. One is a voting age. Is the youngest is going to trick or treat, but it's the same thing. She goes to her friend's house. And then the mom drives. Right. And what sexy thing is she going? Assay? That stuff drives me, bananas. All the four-ish. Costumes. We did not look like whores. We had like plastic wonder woman.

That's not what I thought.

Cardboard box. Nevermind. Nevermind. Not going to say it, but it was a cardboard box. I had like a fucking top hat and she love it. Shots on this box. That's how you knew she loved you. She glue dots on a box for you. Really aggressive. You too. Make an example of me or something. No, no, no, no, no. That's how she said. I love, you know, I think it was like a PTA. I don't know. Oh, it's like keeping up with the PTA moms, keeping up with Karen. All the moms had like the big perm tear and like the swishy. Oh my God. The ones that went.

Thanks. So.

Yeah, I think so. Okay, so for grab bag. Okay. So let's introduce our grab bag segment. Why don't you. Tell our listener.

I think people are going to judge me that fact that my. 11 year old is standing in this room. Okay. Okay, so we're going to talk about, can I see that? Yeah. Oh, your high school Anthem. Oh man. I was going to say, oh fuck too. But for a different reason. I'm terrible with music, which is funny. Cause I have a couple degrees. In that. [00:24:00] Well, do you want to go first? Maybe you'll inspire me. What was your high school Anthem?

I don't know. Okay. So. Let's break it into chunks. Shall we? We're going to be here.

So freshman, sophomore year. Oh no. Okay. Pearl jam. Okay. Where are those flannels? Here's the thing.

I don't even know a song, but them, I just went dead. My dad had the album. What about the black album from Metallica? I'm sure you don't even know if that is no. God. It's a great fucking album. Yeah, so good. So I. Okay. Yeah, I really wish that I could play some of this. This theater shit. Nobody's going to know. I know, I know when. And I wish that I could like play some of this when I edit this to like be under, but then we'll get copyrighted. We can't do it. don't worry about it. Listen [00:26:00] to it, right. You are okay. so a, I have something to say about Pearl jam. And that is that I didn't even know who they were until like my senior year of high school. And I fucking lived on the west coast home of grunge. We're close to. Oh, I so was, and I didn't even. Who Pearl jam was until I went on a date. I don't even know how I knew this guy. No, that is not true. Oh, but it is true that I'm a couple of years older, so you're right. If it was freshmen. And sophomore for you, it would have been junior senior for me. So they were fairly new, so I do feel better. Theater. Yes, I was. So I didn't know who they were. Pop music. Alternative, which is probably why there wasn't a second date because I was like pro shampoo. yeah, I didn't get into any of that stuff really until college. And then I was like, I don't know. It didn't matter to me. Pearl jam Nirvana. I didn't care. I just loved it all. but yeah, Alanis, that was, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got it. I remember being so fucking angry. Yes. I think I was listening to it the other day. I was, you ought to know I was listening to that. [00:27:00] The. I wasn't pissed at my husband. I just needed a. Yeah, you ought to know. Yeah, so. For me real lame stuff. I mean, of course the Beatles and stuff. Cause. My dad.

But yeah. Yeah, no, for me, my. School stuff. Phantom of the opera and Leymah's on repeat. Alternating on repeat. Yeah. We Phantom and what Leymah's. Okay. I love the shit out of both of those shows. I listened to them constantly then, but. I was preparing you in your room, singing. less than. Less in my room and more like doing chores and stuff. Did you have like. Like a ballet mirrors.

I dunno. I just want to make sure it was there. Okay, well, listen, listener. Yes. So much. And if you've stuck with us this far and. Please come back. Please keep talking about this shit and more things. I mean if you're not listening we're still going to talk so I mean we just want to have the excuse I guess But that works To Have you here Yeah yes Here's to mom friends yeah Right. And I'm hey i'm midlife crisis is more fun With friends Yes. Cheers. [00:30:00]