In Episode 6 of Journey Through the Song, Sam and Debbie step back into the courtship scene of the Song of Solomon where love is strong, attraction is real, and the desire to move forward feels almost irresistible. But in the midst of that passion, the couple learns the wisdom of protecting their relationship from the “little foxes” that can quietly damage love before it fully matures. This episode explores the importance of patience, boundaries, and honest conversations that strengthen a relationship for the future. It’s a powerful reminder that God’s design for love isn’t about restriction—it’s about protecting something beautiful until the right time.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

RELATIONSHIP REALITIES: https://relationship-realities.captivate.fm/listen

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

We want to welcome you back to our journey through the Song of Songs.

And it has been an exciting journey.

We've enjoyed sharing so much.

And in our last session, the Shulamites spoke of the wonder of the sexual progression or the approach to sex as a husband and wife.

But she concluded with a powerful warning about stirring up sexual passion before you get married.

Now, the scene transitions from the wedding night in the bridal chamber to a scene during their courtship in which the couple resists the intense longing to engage in premarital sexual activity or even to

jump into marriage prematurely.

And you know, another thing I like about the passage is that it also includes valuable advice for married couples to consider.

Now, before we actually look at the verses, think of springtime.

Think of a teenage boy in love, and he's coming to see his girl.

He's singing or calling out as he approaches his sweetheart's house.

That's exactly what Solomon is doing.

And Shulamite describes what that looks like in chapter two and verses eight and nine.

She says, the voice of my beloved, behold, he cometh, leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.

You know, my beloved is like a roe and a young heart.

Behold, he standeth behind our wall.

He looketh forth at the window, showing himself through the lattice.

Now, the graceful deer like creatures she describes here in these verses are known for their sexual playfulness.

And you know what it's like.

She's admiring his athleticism like a deer and enjoying the attraction that she feels for him.

Now, if you try to look in your mind's eye at this scene, you see this young boy coming and skipping and jumping.

And he gets to the house and he's looking behind the lattice.

He's peeking around to see a glimpse of his girl, the girl he loves.

But let me stop and say this.

He's not stalking her, okay?

He's just playfully flirting with her.

But no doubt she thinks his behavior is cute and she's flattered by the excitement he's showing for her.

Hey, they're in love and they're not hiding it.

But you know, when I read the next few verses, I always think of the movie Bambi, Bambi, Bambi.

Because there's just been a fresh spring rain and all the flowers are popping up.

You know, animated.

And the baby animals are beginning to notice each other and they're falling in love.

You know, like, he got Thumper over here.

He's all twitter painted and he's flapping his little foot and.

And they have hearts that are just floating all around him and around his bunny love.

And just picture it.

Solomon is talking to her.

And she says, my beloved spake.

And he said unto me, rise up, my love, my fair one, come away.

For lo, the winter's past.

The rain is over and it's gone.

The flowers appear on the earth.

The time of the singing of birds has come.

And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs.

And the vines with the tender grapes, they give a good smell.

Arise, my love, my fair one, come away.

And what he's doing is he's announcing, this is the season of love.

Come out here and let me romance you.

He definitely wants to cross the wall, you know, that's separating them and says, hey, baby, come out and play with me.

But the question is, what kind of playing is he talking about, you know?

And notice, if you look at verse 10 and verse 13, the word love there is very interesting because in the Hebrew it's the word dod, which means lover or my darling.

It really has a strong sexual connotation.

He's saying to her, winter is over.

Spring has come.

The figs are ripening on the tree.

The turtle doves are making their nest, you know.

So it must be the time for us to make earnest.

It must be the time for us to make love.

He could be saying, I want you so badly, I can't wait another day.

Let's get married today.

Come on out.

Let's go get married.

But, you know, he continues his case in verse 14.

He says, oh, my dove, thou art in the cleft of the rocks, in the secret places of the stairs.

Let me see thy countenance.

And that word, countenance, means your form or your figure.

Let me hear your voice.

For sweet is your voice.

And your formal figures is very comely and very beautiful.

Turtle doves are considered lovebirds.

And Solomon's saying that she is his lovebird that he should be mating with, you know.

But she is way up there, hiding in the clefts of the rock.

He can't get to her.

She's somewhere behind that wall, in the secret places of the stairs where he can't even see her, you know.

So he pleads with her, I want to hear your voice.

I want to See your form.

I want to see your figure.

And the language indicates that he is strongly expressing sexual desire for her.

And he's pretty convincing, isn't he?

It's not.

Come on, we'll hang out.

He's enticing.

He's promising that their time together will be romantic.

And, you know, an engaged couple should long to be able to express their sexual.

Absolutely.

It should be an intense desire to be with one another.

And, you know, if a couple is engaged and there is no physical desire, no sexual desire, something's not right, because that's the way God made us, you know, to have some physical attraction.

But there's also other helpful thoughts in this passage.

King Solomon, he's the wealthiest man in the world, and he knows there's nothing more romantic than a stroll through the woods or maybe sitting on the beach or just gazing at the night sky, enjoying the beauty of God's creation, especially in springtime.

And this is the perfect romantic date,

you know, and it's not expensive, it's not costly.

I mean, we know because we do this a lot.

We'll take strolls, we take hikes, and we love to do that with each other.

And it's a great date suggestion.

And for couples, dating according.

And also for married couples just to go out and enjoy creation together.

And so, you know.

But back to the context.

A couple is in this courtship relationship.

Yeah.

And there is.

And there should be physical attraction, but courtship is a season where a couple should intently and intentionally observe the character of the person so that they can nail down that marriage with this person is what I really want.

It's an acceptable option.

And it's the time to really get to know a partner's dreams, their.

Their thoughts, their struggles, to enjoy being with them and just to talk about everything and really get to know each other.

But, you know, so often unmarried couples allow sexual desire to distract them from the essentials, really.

And very important to get to know each other, to take time to really get to know each other.

And they get distracted by their sexual desire.

And this is kind of what she's afraid is happening, because in verse 15, she makes.

Makes the statement, take us the foxes, she says, the little foxes that spoil the vines.

For our vines have tender grapes.

And she's referring back, I think, to her growing up in the vineyards.

And she gives this metaphor of the foxes that would come into the vineyards and they would dig holes around the vines and loosen the dirt around the vines, and they would hinder the health of the vine, or they would hinder the growth and even kill the vine sometimes.

So what they would do that, many of the families would diligently watch for these little foxes.

And some of them would even sleep in the vineyards at night to protect against these little foxes that would destroy these vines.

And, you know, in chapter one, she referred to her body and her complexion as a vineyard.

So she's admitting that the desire for him is strong.

But at the same time, she feels like as a couple, they need to be cautious and they need to protect her virginity in the same way that a vine keeper protects those delicate young grapes from those cute little foxes that might destroy the tender vines.

So this picture really backs up the warning given in verse seven that we studied last week, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Do not stir up love till he

pleases or until you get married.

Right.

So the urge for sexual activity between an unmarried couple is extremely strong and even difficult to resist.

Should be any couple knows that looking back before you got married, you realize that.

But for the sake of the lasting and fulfilling marital sex, or to have good sex and marriage, God pleads with singles to resist the temptation to stir up this passion before they get married or before the wedding night.

And really, the grammar in verse nine is also interesting because a bride to be says, take us or catch us the little foxes.

The request is plural.

Hey, y'.

All.

She's saying, are you guys help us catch the little foxes?

We need your help.

It's almost like she's asking that her family and her community join them in the effort to protect their purity.

If you look back to verse nine, she says Solomon is standing behind.

Also notice, she says, our wall.

That's very interesting.

She says that because the wall that she's referring to, our wall, is the wall that belongs to her family.

It's a wall of protection that her family has put there for her, her purity.

She's saying, it's just not my individual decision or just not my individual plan.

But it's a plan that my family has come up for me, too, to protect me.

And we see that even more.

We will see it in a later session in chapter eight.

You know, parents and family should be involved in the relationship.

They know the couple better than anyone else, and they're the ones that really and truly care about their future.

So you got two families here.

They're about to merge.

And the couple needs to understand the dynamics of these two merging families.

They could be very different.

And this can reveal a whole lot about the path this couple is about to walk down in their future.

Relationship.

You know, it brings up really a very, very important question.

Just how does.

How do young couples protect their blossoming love, as is pictured here, until they get married?

How can families and friends help protect them?

Now, we hear that couples need to construct proper boundaries, and sometimes this includes a lot of rules.

Some boundaries are reasonable and helpful, like parents can and should oversee the relationship.

That's reasonable.

Never be alone in a secluded place.

That's wisdom.

Yeah.

No sexual touch.

I mean, that.

That is real protection, you know, but

the problem with that kind of approach is our humanness or our depravity that tends to look for loopholes in the rules.

And we label all of what we do as exceptions to those rules, you know, because lust is a desire that gets out of control, and it overpowers, often overpowers those rules.

So we have to train our hearts by reinforcing the reasons for the rules.

And I really love it because this is the approach that's taken here in the song.

The reason that the song teaches to wait sexually is so that a couple can present their vineyard in full bloom to each other without any regret or without any remorse.

I feel like in the last session we said, God's not keeping us from sexual.

He's saving us for sex.

And then we expounded on the dangers that you and I had encountered in relationships that had succumbed to premarital sex.

And God's warning is, because he loves and he wants to protect us from pain, and he wants to bless us with his absolute best, he can be trusted.

Yeah.

And, you know, it's a beautiful picture because the vine keeper protects against foxes.

And then he waits for the harvest.

He's waiting for the vineyard to produce these beautiful, luscious grapes on the vines that can be really enjoyed.

And lovers must watch over their vineyards and wait till they're in full bloom.

And you say, what's full bloom?

Well, the full bloom is when they get married before they make love.

So couples who regularly remind themselves of the reasons they're waiting to have sexual intimacy, they'll have a much easier time respecting the boundaries or the rules that they may have set up for themselves.

Premarital sex, though, is.

It's not the only fox, I think, to consider.

It's essential to the health of a relationship that couples, both married and single, deal with other issues that can really harm their relationship in the future.

We said courtship is a time to talk and talk and talk to each other, to get to know each other.

And certainly it is the parting to get to know someone is to learn how they stand on all kinds of different issues.

And married couples, they need to continue to talk about issues.

These issues could include something like your career.

It's important to consider the career of someone before you marry them and when you're married.

And when you're married, too.

I mean, she was concerned, as we see through the song, about him being the king because he's afraid he's not going to be home much.

And even once you get married, you have different careers and you got to juggle those careers with your family.

And also it's good to talk about that.

Finances is a huge, we might say, little fox you need to talk about too.

And so many couples come into marriage and they don't know what it means to set up a budget or things like this.

And many couples who are already married don't know what that means.

That's why we really encourage, whether you're single or married, to take a class like Dave Ramsey's financial class is just awesome.

And then there's children.

Absolutely.

Because you've got the discipline of children, you've got the care of children, all kinds of philosophy that goes into children.

We have seen children split a marriage because of the disagreements and how to handle situations with them.

Good thing to talk about before you get married.

And while you're married.

And many couples are getting married now, they have blended family.

So that's definitely something you have to talk about too.

Or what.

What church am I going.

Are we going to go to once we get married?

Maybe.

Maybe you go to this church, she goes to this church.

But what church are you going to go to once you get married?

That's important.

Or the difference in background.

I mean, Solomon is a king.

She's a country girl.

You know, that's a.

It's a pretty big difference.

He's wealthy, she's not.

And we can come into marriage with all kinds of different backgrounds and they can be little foxes that can destroy the blossoming love in a relationship.

If we don't talk about those.

How about in laws?

That can be a big.

I mean, how much are your in laws going to be involved?

How much attention are you going to pay to the advice that your in laws might get?

How often are you going to visit them?

And then another one we notice a lot is past sins and addictions.

They can come up to haunt you.

So you need to be very open about these issues in your life and, and how you need help in handling them, how you need to depend on God.

Another thing is even not Just past sins and addictions, but past relationships, you want to be open about these so that there's no point of contention about past relationships.

You know, you just can't ignore all these little thoughts.

This.

This is important that these things be discussed, because before you get married, or if you've never discussed these things and you are married, to go ahead and discuss them now.

A lot of people hesitate to bring up what might be a potential area of conflict because they don't want to cause a conflict.

But I absolutely love what Shulamite confidently declares after they have this conversation.

I know you love this because you say it often to me after they

address these little foxes in her life.

This is her conclusion.

And.

And verse 16, my beloved is mine, and I'm his.

He feedeth among the lilies.

She's declaring that our relationship is solid.

We belong to each other, we're a unit.

And our difficult conversation that we just had, it actually strengthened our relationship, you

know, and the imagery is so powerful.

She still admires him as like a graceful, athletic stud who is lingering to feed among the lilies, you know, and this is the same imagery, really, she uses in chapter five later to compare his lips to Abedeville.

So the language most likely indicates that she's actually kissing his lips at this point.

Hey, good way to seal the conversation, you know.

She's affirming that she does desire him, but it's not time yet to consummate the relationship.

So she bids her beloved farewell with the same thrilled admiration that she had when he arrived.

And she says in verse 17, until the daybreak and the shadows flee away, Turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe, a young heart upon the mountains of Bethel.

Despite her desire for him, the time for love, she says, it's not come yet.

So she says, until the morning comes and the shadows disappear.

You're going to have to turn.

You're going to have to go, and you're going to have to leave for now.

I like what Ian Dugat says.

He says her no is not quite yet, my love, rather than a never.

That is such a sweet and a gentle way to show she desires him, but yet she wants to please.

And that's God's way of saying, it's

worth waiting for, you know, and there's really a truth here that's even sweeter for us, you know, because Christians have a greater and a more perfect lover who desires us so passionately that he literally came to earth and shed his blood that we might actually become his bride.

We're watching.

Hey, we're watching.

And we're waiting for our groom to return and escort us to the marriage supper of the Lamb.

But in the meantime, he is calling us to tend our vineyards in holiness and in sanctification.

And he even sent His Holy Spirit to indwell us to help us do that.

And if you listen to this and you can't say as the bride said, my beloved is mine and I am his, then don't let your sin and brokenness keep you from arising and answering his call to come.

Don't let your attempts to be good enough keep you away.

No one will ever listen.

No one will ever be good enough.

We in a relationship with Jesus Christ based solely on what he has done for us.

Salvation is by grace and grace alone.

And his grace may be calling out to you right now.

Rise, my darling.

I love it, my beautiful one, and come away.

If you've been blessed by this journey through the song, please share it with others.

Would you do that?

Grace and peace be with you.

We've enjoyed sharing with you this session.

God bless you.

Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

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Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.