Parenting is exhausting. And as Christian moms, we don't just have the to-dos of the world, we are also trying to honor the commands of The Word. What if God already has a plan for our rest and what if we are too busy seeking temporal solutions to our stress and overwhelm to see the solutions He already has in place? Emily and Steph look to Scripture to clarify the topic of rest, peace, and self-care in biblical motherhood.

Scriptures Referenced:

Philippians 2:3

1 Timothy 6:6

Jeremiah 6:16

Luke 9:23

Matthew 11:28-30

Hebrews 4:9-16

Proverbs 31:10-31

Hebrews 11:6

Psalm 23

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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We're so grateful you joined us today.

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I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

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And this is another episode of

the, again, podcast brought to

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you by interested ministries.

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We know you have a busy life and

we're thankful for every moment

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you choose to spend with us.

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When we started the podcast,

Emily and I were processing

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one day and I said that I felt.

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Sometimes it was hard to feel

like I got everything I wanted

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to say across in an episode.

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And she had a very good word for me.

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She said she views a podcast episode.

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As a holy spirit led conversation.

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And that's why we're releasing

this episode to you as well on self

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care, even though we released one.

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Just two weeks ago.

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This is a different conversation, but the

holy spirit truly led it in a wise way.

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And I think we can each pressin for some

really fruitful, practical application.

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There are so many scriptures.

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God laid on our heart to talk about.

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That deal of self care.

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May you be truly blessed by the wisdom

in his word, as you listened to this

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conversation with Emily Deyo and I.

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And don't forget about our brand new

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a child's heart study, you're going

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video lesson from Betsy Corning.

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So head to our website fill out the

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really want you to get a taste of why

we think that this is The best kept.

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Parenting secret.

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Emily, as you've raised your children

and undoubtedly dealt with the exhaustion

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that comes with that, and then as

you've seen the topic of self care

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come up continually in culture, what

is your perspective on how a Christian

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mother should handle self care?

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Emily: In thinking on this topic and

preparing for it a little I thought,

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first of all, how tired moms are and how

important it is for moms to get a break.

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So in no way would I ever advocate

that you not take time away.

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And the Lord will lead

you to what that time is.

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Maybe you need to get away and

read a book or have a night out

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with some good Edifying friends.

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So there's many ways that you

can take time out for yourself.

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I think what we're talking about today

in self care would be more along would be

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more along the lines of how it's viewed.

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Even when I was talking with my

daughter about it, she said, Mom,

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we should take care of ourselves.

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Why are you talking about self care?

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Then that led me to serious

thought and to the word.

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The verse that I was led to was in

Philippians 2:3 where the Lord tells

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us, do nothing from selfishness or

empty conceit, but with humility

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of mind, regard one another as

more important than yourself.

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I think it's so interesting that

the Bible is the one place that

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tells us to do opposite to gain.

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The Bible tells us that we have

to die to self daily to gain.

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This idea of feeding into ourself,

is so cultural but unbiblical

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because we're turning to the

wrong things to fill that void and

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escape or whatever the case may be.

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As I'm reading over this, I'm thinking

it's so interesting because we have

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these two selves within us that We

know on this side of heaven, we'll

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always be fighting with one another.

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If we're believers, we have

the Holy Spirit filled side.

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That is the side that wants to

yield and wants to grow and wants

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to learn in the word and then.

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We have our fleshly side that is

always fighting us and , they're

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both at war with one another.

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The flesh says, give me more of

whatever time away from your family or

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whatever the self care thing is for you.

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But the Bible tells us that

in order to gain, we die.

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And the way that we can really invest is

to invest in one another, to forgive to

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keep short account of others wrongdoings,

to love each other unconditionally.

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Those are forms.

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of self care that will be everlasting.

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again, never ever would I

be against taking time away.

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Even we see in Jesus earthly

ministry, when he was weary, he

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took time away to pray and to rest.

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Of course, it's biblical that

you would do that and that you

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would care well for yourself.

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But we aren't to give in to our

fleshly desires all the time.

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we're to feed our Holy Spirit desires.

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So as I'm thinking about self care

I would say the Bible leads us to

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this thought that we die to gain.

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And sometimes we need to stop

investing in ourselves and invest

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more in the word and in wisdom.

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He grows us those are

the ways that matter.

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Steph: Absolutely.

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I don't know if I've ever heard anyone

talk about self care and talk about

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forgiveness, but you're so right.

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There's a depth of freedom that comes

from following God's word that actually

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is more liberating than 10 bubble

baths, that shows our faith, right?

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When we're actually following the

principles in God's word, that will

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bear more fruit, more long term fruit.

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Yes, godliness with contentment is great

gain, so we're pursuing Christlikeness.

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We have faith that's a long term blessing.

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Emily: Yes.

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Steph: in Jeremiah 6:16, it says, Thus

says the Lord, Stand by the roads and

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look, and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way is, and walk in

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it, and find rest for your souls.

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I love that.

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There's a good way.

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We don't need to invent

the wheel all the time.

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Motherhood has always been exhausting,

I'm sure of it, and and it's

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always been a sacrificial thing.

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I don't think, even though

we may have new stresses upon

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us, we also have new comforts.

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I don't think we need to be looking

for this new formula and constantly

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searching for who's got the trick.

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Not really a trick, it's a mindset.

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Am I choosing to continually

put others before myself?

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As you said in Philippians 2,

knowing that the Lord sees my

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sacrifice and is honored by it.

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Do I choose to embrace that call And

then there is a wisdom in knowing

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I'm modeling for my kids caring for

myself and my own body because I am

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supposed to love the Lord in that way,

but it's not this entitlement focused.

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I've earned this.

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It's my turn.

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I think you're right that produces more

hunger for it instead of satisfying us.

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Yes.

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Emily: yes I think it's so

easy to look for temporal

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things to fill an eternal hole.

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And we know those won't last.

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I was reminded of this scripture

also in Luke 9:23, and he says,

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if anyone wishes to come after me.

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He must deny himself and take up

his cross daily and follow me.

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Again, it goes back to denying,

forgiving, loving, caring.

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Those are the things we pour deep into

ourselves that will spring, that will take

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root and spring this incredible growth.

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A mom's night out is fantastic.

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It's good.

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It's good for you to have a break

and laugh and feel wholeness with

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other moms, but it's temporal.

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You get home that night, you take your

shoes off you get ready for bed, and you

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go to bed, and you start the next day.

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The fruit from that night won't be

everlasting, as if we were pouring

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the eternal things into ourselves.

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Steph: I think it's interesting,

too, that so many women have

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different things that recharge them.

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Personally, a bath makes

me feel so drained.

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That doesn't feel relaxing to

me at all, but I know women that

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take a bath every night, and

that feels so refreshing to them.

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And so I think even recognizing

what's helpful for us.

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And maybe having, like for me, sometimes

an hour to organize a closet or to, bring

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a little structure back to an area I

know it's temporal, but that's satisfying

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to me that I know when I look in that

closet, I'm going to feel like things

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are a little bit more put together.

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But I'm not doing that for anyone else.

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I'm doing it for myself and

that can be life giving.

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So

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Recognizing what's life giving

to us and not trying to follow

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anyone else's formula for it.

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Obviously I say that understanding

that we're following the biblical

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model of sacrificial living, but

then within that, we have our own

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personal preferences and to not try

to do it like someone else does it.

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Emily: Yes, absolutely.

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He calls us to different areas and

paths and and it's okay that it

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all looks a little bit different.

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I love that you said to know

what recharges us it's okay to

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invest a little bit of time there.

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And the Lord knows that.

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He made us that way, so He knows

exactly what that is for us, and

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we shouldn't feel guilty for

pouring into those moments either.

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what are your thoughts when

you think on self care?

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Steph: I just want to say that.

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I am the kind of person that

doesn't ask for a lot of help.

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I don't really delegate much.

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and my husband isn't one

who's going to take a lot of

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initiative without being asked.

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Which I feel is a pretty

common experience for moms,

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we see it all and we're

like, isn't it obvious?

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But it's not always.

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If we're not good communicators,

that can be difficult for them.

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And I had three boys in under three years

and then we didn't have any family nearby.

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I think I took that sacrificial lifestyle

to an unhealthy extent at times.

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Fast forward a little bit and my

husband, right after my fourth child

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was born, he was diagnosed with MS.

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And it helped clarify why he was

experiencing so much exhaustion.

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I was finally realizing I can't do

it all and, also at the same time

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realizing, but he can't help me really.

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And that I think has helped me to really

rely on the Lord for my strength and

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to see ways that he provides for me.

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And to help me recharge but I've learned

that nothing refreshes me like his word.

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So I have prioritized that, as

you were saying, like that, that

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just to me, that is my self care.

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Every day I can walk away

from the word feeling like,

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I can do it, thank you, Lord.

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I can do it.

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And I've, my spirit feels lighter.

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So that's become number one for me.

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And I had to give up some

other things to do it.

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My kids probably don't eat as healthy

a breakfast anymore so that I can make

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that a priority, it used to be eggs and

oatmeal and smoothies every morning.

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And those things are a little bit

more stretched out now and the trade

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off, it's just been something I needed.

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to do.

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that's practically what that's

looked like for me in this journey

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that the Lord's brought me on.

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I do feel that the Lord does provide.

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And gives me wisdom and surprises me

maybe it's a little gift that my sister

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in law sends me maybe it's silly that I'm

saying that in self care, but when I see

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the ways that the Lord cares for me, I

don't have to advocate for myself as much

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now I see that the Lord cares for me.

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And now I can just keep

moving throughout the day.

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Thanking him that I have the energy

to pour into others, that's been

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a big, shift for me to, to just.

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Look to him for that help, that guidance,

praising him for the strength that

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he gives me, but to see the ways that

he does give me rest, like providing

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incredible friends for me that those

life giving conversations, I would

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say that's, I probably will give up

sleep every single time to have a

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great conversation with a friend.

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That's really life giving to me.

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But as I was praying Lord, what do you

want me to say on the topic of self care?

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I was.

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A little bit surprised the path

that he took me on through his word.

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the scripture that came to mind

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Come to me, all who labor and are

heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

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Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.

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For I am gentle and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

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For my yoke is easy.

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And my burden is light.

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And I don't think that when you're

trying to keep little ones alive and

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safe and fed and clothed and bathed and

exercised and taken to the doctor and

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the dentist and everything, I don't think

it feels easy and light all the time.

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But if his word says it is.

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Then we need to believe it and we need

to press in We obviously think about

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the physical a yoke on an oxen But for

rabbis the yoke was their teaching so

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take my teaching my instruction upon

you learn from me And Jesus, has anyone

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ever been more interrupted have more

demands upon them I mean he constantly

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had people pressing in on him and yet He

did take the time to step away, to pray

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continually, to commune with the Father.

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But he also honored the Sabbath.

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And I believe that if we really

honor the Sabbath, I think a lot of

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our desire for self care will fade.

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The Lord, in the Old Testament,

continually rebukes His people

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for not honoring the Sabbath.

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And I don't think that he wants

that to change about his people.

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I want to be careful.

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I know it is not a biblical mandate

in the new Testament, but I don't

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believe that the wisdom of it.

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Is something that should

be neglected for believers.

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I think Jesus was very clear that

we should honor, um, the heart of

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the Sabbath and not turn it into.

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Um, a list of do's and don'ts.

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But I also believe that we are

living in a culture of people looking

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for a break all the time and God.

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Absolutely has a plan for this.

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In his word.

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And the scripture I'm going to read next.

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Does refer to a spiritual state of

rest in knowing we are secure in our

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eternity and living in light of that.

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But I just think it's an interesting

principle to meditate upon.

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Steph: Hebrews 4:9-13 says, So

then, there remains a Sabbath

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rest for the people of God.

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For whoever has entered God's

rest has also rested from his

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works as God did from his.

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Let us, therefore, strive to enter

that rest, so that no one may fall

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by the same sort of disobedience.

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And then I think it's interesting

that these are the next verses.

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For the word of God is living and active,

sharper than any two edged sword, piercing

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to the division of soul and of spirit,

of joints and of marrow, and discerning

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the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

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Those words, like the Sabbath rest

remains for the people of God.

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And then it says, strive to enter

that rest, which sounds like a

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contradiction, but we have to be diligent

to believe there is a rest when we

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follow the principles of God's word.

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As you're saying, like forgiving,

serving, sacrificing, there is a rest

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in that if we do it to honor the Lord.

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And then when it says the word of God

is living and active, piercing to the

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division of soul and spirit, the Lord can

help us discern how in any circumstance.

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To, provide rest for our souls.

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What is he doing?

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How can we strive to enter that rest?

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What does it look like?

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What do we need to give up?

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Maybe we need to make some hard decisions.

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But we shouldn't be looking at God as

saying He didn't provide in our situation.

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We should be willing to make

the hard choices to experience

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that rest that He wants for us.

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And even, knowing, Lord, I actually

don't know what I need right now.

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I think the Lord can give us guidance in.

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What's life giving and

recharging for us at the time.

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I remember when the kids were

so little and I would just pray,

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Lord, what does Sabbath look like?

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I don't know.

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My husband is tired.

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I'm tired.

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I don't know what to do.

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And I felt like the answer I

kept getting was paper plates.

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Emily: Oh, I love It.

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Steph: I was like, oh, that's

such a sweet, practical thing

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that's what we do on Sundays.

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We eat off of paper plates, and

it just is a little thing that

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we could do even back then.

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That made it a simpler day, I also

so respect in the Hebrew culture

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and the Jewish culture now, they

really prepare for the Sabbath.

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You work hard the day before so

that you can rest on the Sabbath.

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And sometimes for me, it means making

a big pot of soup the day before.

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And I know that's going to be a meal or

two, and that will help me really relax.

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Or maybe making a breakfast

casserole on a Saturday night.

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So that when I wake up on Sunday, we just

put it in the oven and we all enjoy it

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and we put it on our paper plates and it's

a sweet moment together and it's simple.

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So I think if we can look for ways,

like what can I do today to make

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tomorrow really restful for me?

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I think the Lord gives us a lot of

insight in each of our circumstances,

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no matter how complex it is.

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And I know we're probably talking to

working mothers and, mothers in all

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sorts of circumstances and the Lord sees.

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If we believe that Sabbath

rest remains for the people of

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God, let's strive to enter it.

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Maybe all it is instead of scrolling for

15 minutes, What if you just sat for 15

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minutes with a pen and a piece of paper,

and prayed, and asked God, Honestly,

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what could this look like in my life?

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I am racking my brain, and I have

no idea how I could have a break.

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And it might be something silly, like

paper plates, but I think so often we get

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burdened, and I'm just gonna scroll for

a little bit because I'm overwhelmed here.

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Instead of saying, God, I want

to follow you, so will you

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guide me in how to do that?

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And giving him a little time

to actually solve our problems.

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Emily: That's so good Steph.

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I think it's so much easier to check

out than check in when you're exhausted.

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Steph: Yes, what has it

looked like for you as your

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Emily: I love that you brought this

in, this idea of of honoring the

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Sabbath and the self care talk.

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What it has looked like for us,

I once heard a quote that I have

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never forgotten, and it was Your

calendar is an act of worship.

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what you take time for is really what is

going to reign most supreme in your life.

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And we all make those choices,

and they are conscious choices.

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So I often think of the tired mom

that's going from game to game.

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Whatever the choices you've made

in your life our calendar reflects

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it and it is an act of worship.

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So blocking out that Sabbath

day time is so important.

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What it's looked like for us,

and especially now as the kids

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get older, is Just stepping back.

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So we take, we go to church

in the morning, and our church

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here starts a little bit on

the early side, which I like.

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We're out a little bit before noon,

and we have the whole day ahead

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of us, and we don't plan ahead.

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Much, if not anything, every now and

then we might go out for ice cream or

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something, but we don't do anything big.

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And we just take the

day to relax, regroup.

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It may look like a little

bit of homework with dad.

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I emphasize with dad because

I'm not the homework person.

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So it might look like getting a

little extra help in the homework

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world, but overall it's very restful.

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And I agree with you, it has helped our

family be grounded for the week ahead.

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Often we Jake and I will sit down and look

at the calendar together and and group the

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week ahead and get all on the same page.

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But whatever we do, it's always

together, very restful and relaxing.

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And it just helps you enter into

the week in not a tizzy mind

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frame, but in a calm mind frame.

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Now, that might come on Monday

morning, but at least Sunday we are

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honoring the Sabbath and resting.

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And I love that.

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It just makes you have a more balanced

approach as you enter into the week.

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And, I think also it's

not really talked about.

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It's so easy to schedule ourselves to the

max and then think, Why am I so exhausted?

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And then when you stop and look

back through your week, you

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realize, Oh, wait a second.

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I really haven't had a moment.

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And we, this was modeled for

us in scripture and everything

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in scripture has purpose and

the purpose of Sabbath is rest.

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And I love that you said that

they took that time to prepare.

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And so nothing ever

happens by happenstance.

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It happens with God.

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often, great preparation.

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So it may take the day before

to prepare for it, but it's

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always worth it in the end.

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Steph: yes, and then

getting our kids involved

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There are a couple, French toast

casseroles that my kids can help me

379

with and they think it's really special,

they can whisk the eggs and milk and I'm

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cutting the bread and then it's a sweet

moment that we're spending together and

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then it doesn't feel like drudgery, like

I'm up on a Saturday night and, everyone

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else is in bed laying out our clothes

for church the night before, that's,

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you It's always been a big one for us.

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I don't lay out my clothes the day

before because I guess I want to allow

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a little flexibility , but for my

kids, that's always been a helpful

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thing, and then of course expecting

that there's going to be chaos.

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I'm not expecting that I'm going to

I can't open a novel and read for six

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hours when I have four young children,

that's not going to happen, I think

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it's taken me years to just adjust my

expectations of what the rest could

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look like, and then We always do rest

times, and on Sunday they're longer.

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On a normal day, quiet time or rest

time for my kids, they're not allowed

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to pull out like a toy or anything.

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It's more like reading and just resting.

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But on Sundays Especially when they

were younger, we'd be like, okay it's

395

going to be an hour and a half, and you

can get out the mag formers, or you can

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get a puzzle out of the game closet.

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So they could, quietly do

those things in their rooms.

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And then they knew that

they get to play outside and

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everything when they come down.

400

But,

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Just the little tips the Lord

gives you along the way of,

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how can I make this work?

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Because it does feel impossible and

daunting when they're really little.

404

Emily: Yes, when they're little it does.

405

I, yes, we always got home from

church when they were young

406

and laid them down for a nap.

407

And I remember that sigh of relief

because, let's be honest, getting out

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the door on a Sunday morning and if

you have a daughter, you're doing her

409

hair, your hair and by the time you

do all of it, get out the door, walk

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into church, and make it back home.

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It, rest time is absolutely essential.

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And it's well earned.

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Steph: I know.

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I feel like there's no hungry,

like a Sunday after church hungry.

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What is it about?

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Getting out the door and, just giving

your whole heart in worship and

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listening attentively and, I don't know,

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when I was growing up in the church,

Proverbs 31 was brought up all the

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time and I made this huge poster

in my room, and I just wanted to be

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her, and It feels like culturally

we're getting away from that desire.

421

I really appreciate the authenticity

of this generation that we don't

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need to have it all together.

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We don't need to have it perfect.

424

We don't want to be the people who get

in the car at, and yell at our children

425

because the Sunday morning was stressful

and then put on the happy face for church.

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That is not the Lord's heart for us.

427

And yet godly women.

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Do make peace in their homes and they have

an impact and a woman a mother makes such

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an impact in the home and when I look at

Proverbs 31 verse 27 says she looks well

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to the ways of her household and does

not eat the bread of idleness and Verse

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30 says charm is deceitful and beauty is

vain But a woman who fears the Lord is

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to be praised give her the fruit of her

hands and let her works praise her in the

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We are called to work hard and

there will be fruit from it.

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And in a day and age when we are

inundated with influencers and beautiful

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people who have a message and are

selling something often, to remember

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charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.

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To have that desire to be

a woman who fears the Lord,

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we have to fight to keep that desire,

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instead of, being influenced by the media

yeah, I just think we have to fight for

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that perspective to reign in our hearts,

and that's going to look different for

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each of us, but, I feel that temptation

to care more about my external than my

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internal at times, or to measure myself

by others, but what I'm doing in my home

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is honoring the Lord and His blessing

my family, and that needs to remain the

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Emily: Yes, yes.

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It's so easy to be pulled

by all of the shiny things.

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And yes I agree with you getting away from

Proverbs 31 from the Proverbs 31 woman

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is definitely a relevant thing today.

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But, as it says, but a woman who

fears the Lord shall be praised.

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And the fear of the Lord is I

think what brings us around to.

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Having a right perspective and having

a right perspective about self care

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and our home and giving ourselves

and how much do we give ourselves and

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this idea of the Sabbath and honoring

the Sabbath the Lord is the one who

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gives the wisdom in our homes for

us to keep the proper perspective

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of what we should and shouldn't do.

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Steph: Yes, and believing

that God sees it,

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We talked in an earlier episode about

that audience of one, and it's an idea

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we'll be coming back to again and again

because It really, what we do is for Him.

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But scripture says that He's a rewarder,

in Hebrews 11:6 it says, And without

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faith it is impossible to please Him.

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For whoever would draw near to God

must believe that He exists and

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that He rewards those who seek Him.

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If you're thinking right now, I have no

idea how to do this, seek Him in faith.

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Give him that opportunity to show you

what it could look like, and believe that

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he's going to reward you for seeking him.

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What a promise that is,

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Emily: yes.

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And even how he leads us so differently,

same goal, but he leads us differently

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because we all have different needs.

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Even when we were talking about this

topic of self care he led you to this

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idea of honoring the Sabbath and and he's

led me to the idea of Philippians 2:3.

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He's so good to work.

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In us, through us, on us in these

individual ways and he's so good to lead

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us to these places that is just right

for you and the reward will be for you

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and meeting you right where you're at.

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He's so faithful in that way.

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Steph: Absolutely.

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Emily: take that leap and give it to

him, release control and give it to him.

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Steph: Maybe self care is the pursuit

of holiness, not just the pursuit

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of honoring our temporal body,

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To sum it up, we're looking for

eternal benefits for our soul,

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for our sanctification over

something that is so fleeting.

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Emily: And temporal.

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Yes.

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Steph: Emily, would you close us with

a passage that was laid on both of

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our hearts about self care, Psalm 23?

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Emily: Yes.

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The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

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He makes me lie down in green pastures.

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He leads me beside still waters.

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He restores my soul.

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He guides me in paths of

righteousness for His namesake.

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Even though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death, I will

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fear no evil, for you are with me.

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Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

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You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

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You have anointed my head with oil.

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My cup overflows.

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Surely, Goodness and loving

kindness will follow me all the

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days of my life, and I will dwell

in the house of the Lord forever.

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Steph: It's such a beautiful passage,

and beautiful promises, he makes me

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lie down in green pastures, he leads me

beside still waters, he restores my soul.

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And then Emily, you had a really

interesting point about verse four.

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Emily: Yes, it says, even though I

walk through the valley of the shadow of

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death, I fear no evil for you are with me.

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I think often we walk through the

valley of the shadow of death and

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that looks so different for all of us.

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But while we're in the valley, we are so

busy trying to claw and search our way

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out that we often forget that the Lord

is the one who brought us to the valley.

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And he will also, just like he

brought us there, he will be the one

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who brings us out of the valley, but

it will never be before its time.

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It will always be after we have learned

the lesson that he wants us to learn,

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but he will always make a way out for us.

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I found that so comforting that we don't

have to figure out a way out always.

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He is the one who leads us out.

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Steph: You're listening and you're in a

particularly difficult season maybe caring

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for others or grieving a loss or just

acknowledging that your family is not what

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you expected for it to look like, or maybe

it's what you wanted it to look like.

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It's just a lot more

exhausting than you expected.

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We believe that he restores your

soul and we want to point you

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to his word and point you to.

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A life of holy satisfaction in Him.

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We hope you received some ideas that were

really refreshing for you, and that you

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were encouraged to sit before the Lord and

ask him how this can apply to your life.

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Maybe you've got this all

figured out and we'd love it.

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If you'd fill out a form on our

website and tell us all about your

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self care or Sabbath practices.

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We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

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us for this episode of Again.

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If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

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EntrustedMinistries.

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com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

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This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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world, and we want it for you, too.

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Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

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We're rooting for you.

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To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

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His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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Him, according to the grace of our God.

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And the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Amen.

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Until we meet again.