Can writing really help heal emotional wounds?
In this episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with poet and Positive Psychology Coach Michael Teferi to discuss growing up with bullying, finding resilience through poetry, and using creative expression as a pathway toward healing and personal growth.
Michael shares how painful childhood experiences shaped his compassion instead of his bitterness, why poetry became an outlet for processing emotions, and how purpose, friendship, faith, and creativity helped him move forward.
If you've ever struggled to express what you've been through, this conversation will remind you that healing often begins by giving your story a voice.
• How bullying shaped Michael's life
• Why poetry became a healing outlet
• Using writing to release emotions
• The connection between creativity and trauma recovery
• Positive psychology and discovering what lights you up
• The importance of friendship, faith, and purpose
• Why healing begins when we express what we've been carrying
Whether you write, journal, paint, speak, or simply need permission to tell your story, this episode offers encouragement to take the next step toward healing.
📖 Read Michael's poetry on Substack:
(Insert Michael's Substack link here)
📘 Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/michael.teferi.16
📸 Instagram (Personal):
https://www.instagram.com/romanticsinger24
💙 Instagram (Positive Psychology Coaching):
https://www.instagram.com/michaelteferi24
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Well, hello, everybody, and
welcome back to another episode
2
:of Adult Child of Dysfunction.
3
:Today, I am excited to
introduce Michael Teferi.
4
:He was born in Washington,
DC, of an Ethiopian heritage.
5
:Michael grew up throughout the DC Metro
area and now lives in Manassas, Virginia.
6
:Michael describes himself as kind,
compassionate, open-minded, and caring.
7
:But after- experiencing bully in
middle school, he chose to let
8
:those experiences make him more
empathetic rather than bitter.
9
:He's been divorced since 2016.
10
:He's spent the past nine years focused
on personal growth and is still
11
:hopeful about finding lasting love.
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:Welcome, Michael.
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:Thank you for having me.
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:Yeah, no problem.
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:So we talked a little bit before,
and I just wanted to kinda jump
16
:right in and talk about some
of the things you're doing.
17
:But I did have some
questions before you started.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:First, talk about what
you do with your poetry.
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:Sure.
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:My poetry consists of, inspiration,
self-help, personal growth, and
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:spirituality, and I write poetry.
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:I started writing poetry
ever since March of:
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:That's when I became a poet, writer,
and debut poetry book author.
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:Okay, perfect.
26
:So you write about all kinds of different
topics, which I'm assuming is the same
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:kind of topics that you speak about.
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:Absolutely.
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:Okay.
30
:. So I wanted to ask you, I know you
had those three bullying experiences
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:when you were younger, and I know you
described them kind of in detail, what
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:people did and how they punched you,
when you punched them back, and- do
33
:you think that helped you become that
compassionate person,, kind of being more
34
:empathetic towards the people around you?
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:Absolutely.
36
:That was very meaningful
and diverse for me Okay.
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:Yeah, I can only imagine.
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:I know a lot of people when they do
get bullied, it's like they become…
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:Sometimes they become scared, and
sometimes they become empowered
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:and realize that they're gonna
kinda change things so that those
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:people don't bully other people.
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:Yeah.
43
:I make sure to, to take care of
myself in terms of, self-defense,
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:and so I I've done that.
45
:I've learned a lot about martial
arts, through my, my Uncle Abby.
46
:He helped me out when I was
a young child, growing up in
47
:elementary school and middle school.
48
:He introduced me to martial arts
masters and, martial arts movies.
49
:So that's how I started with my
own life in terms of self-defense.
50
:Okay.
51
:So did you actually take
martial arts classes and stuff?
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:I didn't do that.
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:So you're self-taught?
54
:Absolutely.
55
:Okay.
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:How'd that work for you?
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:Pretty good.
58
:It definitely had its moments.
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:when I was bullied, I was bullied a lot
in elementary school, middle school,
60
:and parts of my college experiences, and
so I made sure to take care of myself
61
:physically and mentally and emotionally.
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:Wise.
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:Wise decision.
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:Thank you.
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:Well, you're smiling
today, so that's good.
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:Thank you.
67
:Yeah.
68
:So, you had a couple questions that
you wanted to, me to ask you, and I'm
69
:gonna kinda just bounce around in them.
70
:But when you…
71
:you were going through this bullying
phase, and then I guess you you moved to
72
:Washington Lee High School, so that was
in Arlington, Virginia, probably, what,
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:junior, senior year, sophomore year?
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:It was, ninth grade in, 1996.
75
:okay.
76
:So how did you…
77
:How were things different there?.
78
:How did you bring yourself and put
yourself in situations where you could
79
:actually make some quality friends?
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:Yeah, so I didn't make
any friends at first.
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:It took a whole year
for me to make friends.
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:I started in 10th grade.
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:That's when I started making friends.
84
:I started making a lot
of friends, actually.
85
:I can tell you their names.
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:I know, I still remember them.
87
:I bet.
88
:Yeah, so I, so I, I started focusing
on my studies and my education.
89
:in 1996 I had a wonderful experience
with Miss Cassidy, who was a
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:English teacher, and she really
introduced me to the art of poetry.
91
:And I can tell you anything about that if
you're ever interested in- - About what?
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:Poetry.
93
:Oh, yeah.
94
:We'll talk a little bit about poetry
for sure, Poetry and writing in general,
95
:and journaling, and just being any kind
of creative expression like that is
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:so healing for people that have gone
through any kind of trauma really.
97
:I concur.
98
:That's very important to me, too.
99
:I think it's very meaningful and
purposeful for everyday life.
100
:.. Do you have books?
101
:Talk about that a little bit.
102
:Yes, I have three poetry books that I
finished and completed as a trilogy,
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:and I'm working on my fourth, poetry
book that's in development right now.
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:So you already have three
books already printed?
105
:Yeah, they're printed, but they're
not published yet, so I'm waiting.
106
:I'm trying my best to become a
published author to market and
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:publicize my poetry books going forward.
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:Okay.,
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:How do you now connect with people?
110
:, How do you show people your
poetry that you're doing now?
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:I do it on Substack.
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:Substack?
113
:Okay.
114
:It, it's free to use, and I create…
115
:So I created that back in March of
:
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:past year and four months so far.
117
:So do you do poetry readings, or
people just go there and they can read
118
:what you wrote, or how does it work?
119
:Yeah, people can read what I write,
and, I can have a Substack live
120
:event, live conversations where I
can talk about my poetry as well.
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:Oh, okay.
122
:Okay, so another question I had, you call
yourself a positive psychology coach.
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:What does that mean to you?
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:Like, what does that mean?
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:I've never heard that exact expression.
126
:that's a great question.
127
:So positive psychology is the
scientific study of helping people
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:thrive via human flourishing.
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:I learned about that when I was in,
college at George Mason University in
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:Fairfax, Virginia, as a commuter student.
131
:I first learned about positive psychology,
when I took this phenomenal course called
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:The Science of Wellbeing slash Character
Strengths with Todd Kashdan, PhD.
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:He's a, Professor of Psychology,
master coach, and music aficionado.
134
:He's an amazing guy.
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:I still remember him.
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:… We became friends on Facebook after
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:. i received an A in his course, and
I learned a lot about the science,
138
:neuroscience, the character strengths,
growth mindset, meditation, and
139
:many other things in spring of 2011.
140
:Okay.
141
:So the positive psychology,
is a, a certification you got?
142
:Yes.
143
:I…
144
:So I received a certification
in summer of:
145
:and I it through the help of Ms.
146
:Linda Wallace who works at the
WholeBeing Institute, which is an
147
:organization based in Massachusetts Okay.
148
:So when you work with people, have you…
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:Are you, are you already coaching now?
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:Are you working with clients?
151
:Not yet.
152
:I've been trying to connect with people.
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:It's been very hard to try and find people
who are college students and adults,
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:adults who are 21 years of age and over
who are interested in being coached by me.
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:So it's been hard to market
myself to the masses.
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:It's been really difficult.
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:I don't know how to do it.
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:I'm not good at it, to be honest.
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:Oh, you'll figure it out.
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:You figured out how to write three books.
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:You figured out how to do your poetry.
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:You'll figure it out.
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:I have 100% faith in you.
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:But, it sounds good.
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:And what I would honestly suggest,
and tell me if you think I'm crazy or
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:wrong, just keep putting that poetry
out there because I feel like your
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:heart and soul is in that poetry.
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:I completely agree.
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:That's why I created…
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:I even created a poetry business called
Poetry Business Alliance, and it's
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:really aimed at connecting with inspired
readers to helping people to enjoy poetry
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:and to, who are l- and to help people
towards, people who are looking who…
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:for inspiration to realize their
dreams and to create a unique sense
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:of wellbeing for the long haul.
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:Well, it sounds like you have a plan.
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:It sounds like You got your
fingers dabbling in a whole
177
:bunch of different things, right?
178
:Uh-uh.
179
:You got your poetry.
180
:You got your coaching.
181
:You got your alliance.
182
:, That poetry reading alliance,
that sounds really interesting.
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:So you're trying to spark people's
interest in poetry for healing, right?
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:Or just for anything?
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:Absolutely.
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:For healing.
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:It's for healing and for inspiration.
188
:Okay.
189
:, It sounds to me like that's
where you got your clients.
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:Because if people come to you and you find
those people, and it's a lot easier to be
191
:talking while you're talking to someone
and telling them, "Hey, come join me.
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:Write your poetry, read your
poetry, express yourself."
193
:And then you're talking
about y- their poetry.
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:You're coaching them.
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:Absolutely.
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:So you're doing what your dream is.
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:It is my dream.
198
:These are my passions, to be
honest, and it's very important
199
:to me and I value them highly.
200
:. For all the listeners out there,
I can tell you, and I've been,
201
:I think, preaching, and I'm
not preaching to the choir.
202
:You guys know this- … if
you've ever heard me talking.
203
:But there comes a point in your life where
you just have to do what lights you up,
204
:and that is the easiest way to put it.
205
:, If it doesn't light you up, don't do it.
206
:- I agree.
207
:And, people come to me all the time
and they say, "I need to make money."
208
:And I'm like, "Well, - what
do you like to do?"
209
:And they're like, "That
has nothing to do with it.
210
:I need to make money."
211
:And I'm like, "No, it has
everything to do with it."
212
:Because if you don't love what
you're doing- … it's a job and
213
:it's a task and it's a chore.
214
:But if you love what you're
doing, you're doing it and
215
:the money will follow I agree.
216
:Makes a lot of sense to me.
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:Thank you.
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:Yeah, absolutely, 100%.
219
:I'm gonna go back a little bit
more to this positive psychology.
220
:So what would you, let's say
hypothetically you got a coaching
221
:client sitting right in front of you.
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:What kind of things do you help with?
223
:Who are your ideal clients?
224
:My ideal clients are college
students and anyone who's,
225
:is 21 years of age and older.
226
:Those are my ideal clients.
227
:And, they're people who are looking
to be inspired, - in case people are
228
:having issues, whether it's personal
issues or, or professional issues,
229
:I can help with people, people with
that through my personal insights
230
:and positive psychology coaching.
231
:Okay.
232
:So let's say hypothetically,
because You just- . -gave yourself
233
:a really big group of clients.
234
:Yeah.
235
:Okay.
236
:So we're back.
237
:Thank you So you were telling ab-
me about the positive psychology.
238
:And so I was just basically thinking,
I'm like, "Okay, so you got this
239
:demographic of people that have issues
or struggles or questions or anything.
240
:That is 90% of the world.
241
:I wanna get you clients.
242
:I want somebody to come to you.
243
:What would be their number one struggle?
244
:it could be seeking
employments, for example.
245
:I'm really good at helping
people find employment.
246
:I've done it myself in my own
past, so I know what that's like.
247
:so I'm really good at searching for jobs.
248
:I'm also really good at, getting into,
the the positive psychology prowess.
249
:Well, when it comes to, learning people's
thoughts, values, and, thoughts and
250
:values systems, and, learning about how to
recognize different aspects of yourselves.
251
:Okay.
252
:And that's me.
253
:I'm really good at, I'm
very good at doing that.
254
:Okay.
255
:Now, if I came to you and I said,
"Michael, I just am freaking lost.
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:I'm 55 years old.
257
:I don't know what I wanna do.
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:I don't have a job.
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:I don't blah, blah, blah,"
and all these things.
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:"I grew up in complete, utter chaos."
261
:Where would we start?
262
:We'll, let's talk about,
what, what, lights you up.
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:what is your personal
experiences, and what brings you
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:to meet with me, first of all?
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:And what are you looking for?
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:Okay.
267
:So you are literally a
one size fits all coach.
268
:Absolutely.
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:Pretty much it.
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:Okay.
271
:Well, that sounds really cool.
272
:I'm more…
273
:i've been looking at some of your stuff
just recently, and I don't really…
274
:I didn't get to read a lot of your
poems, and I need to go back and do that,
275
:so I'm gonna put the Substack link in
the show notes so people can go back.
276
:But are your poems more…
277
:Are they upbeat, positive, or
are they- Yes … reflective?
278
:They're both.
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:Or what do you think?
280
:They're both.
281
:Yeah.
282
:they're very, they're always positive.
283
:They're very transformational.
284
:They're reflective, and they're unique.
285
:Do you by chance have a poem
that you could read to us handy?
286
:Oh, okay.
287
:That's a good question.
288
:Yes.
289
:give me a moment.
290
:I have a journal right here.
291
:Okay.
292
:It's a blue journal, and it
has, it has some of my poems.
293
:Okay.
294
:Just pick one that's a shorter
one, but just so we can get a
295
:feel for what your poems are like.
296
:Okay.
297
:All right.
298
:I'll, I'll show you … the
first poem I ever wrote.
299
:It's called Respect.
300
:Okay.
301
:All right.
302
:Reading totality and how we used to live.
303
:Escaping and what we want to give.
304
:Spreading one's dreams and lifting
people's hearts is all we aim to do.
305
:Placing the burden and
how we climb up to choose.
306
:Elevating one's purpose in life.
307
:Every voice in sync.
308
:Coming to terms when one lives on
every moment to bring Time chooses you
309
:and gives a meaning of our existence.
310
:That's it.
311
:I love it.
312
:And is that kind of the same
format you use for all of your
313
:poems, or is it different?
314
:Some are long form, or-
Yeah, some are long form.
315
:the majority of them are…
316
:actually, they have a rhyming scheme,
so there's, there's rhyme and flow
317
:to them at the end of every sentence.
318
:And I also, for the majority of
my poems are acrostic poetry.
319
:Have you heard of acrostic poetry before?
320
:No.
321
:Okay.
322
:So acrostic poetry is a
type of free verse poem.
323
:It's a way of writing poetry where the
first letter of every, first letter of
324
:every, sentence coincides with the name of
a sentence of, of the title of the poem.
325
:. So for example, respect, yeah, my, my
first poem is called Respect, right?
326
:Okay.
327
:So when you read , the first
letter is reading, so it's R.
328
:The first letter, the second letter, the
second sentence is escaping, so it's E.
329
:Okay, I got you.
330
:That's- So when you actually
visually look at the poem, the whole
331
:left side is gonna spell a word.
332
:Absolutely.
333
:That's what it means to be acrostic poems.
334
:Oh, I wanna try doing one of them.
335
:Please do.
336
:I recommend it.
337
:It's wonderful.
338
:It's very unique.
339
:Okay, I'm gonna have to try one.
340
:I'll start small.
341
:I'll , use the word love.
342
:I loves it.
343
:That's a good- Okay.
344
:I'm gonna try one, and then I'm gonna send
it to you, and you tell me what you think.
345
:Please do.
346
:Don't forget.
347
:I won't.
348
:That's, that's pretty cool.
349
:and for the people out there
listening, you might be wondering,
350
:like, "Okay, so I hear all this.
351
:That's great, but what?
352
:, What with it?"
353
:Guys, you have no idea, and I think
Michael really, his, his mission it
354
:sounds like to me is to show people
through writing, through poetry, through
355
:expression of any form, but he happens to
use writing and poetry, that we can get
356
:some of , our burdens out of our bodies
and out of our minds, and put them into
357
:the world for not only you to hear and
you to see and other people to see, but
358
:also when you physically write something
down, you're releasing it from your body.
359
:It's the same thing if you get up and
you tell a speech, and I know, Michael,
360
:you're interested in speaking as well.
361
:When you get up and you tell a speech and
you voice that to , a thousand people , or
362
:three people, it doesn't even matter.
363
:Right.
364
:You are releasing that energy
of that experience from
365
:your body, and it's healing.
366
:It is superbly healing.
367
:Would you agree?
368
:I agree.
369
:Absolutely.
370
:It's fantastic experience.
371
:It's a welcome way to behold expression.
372
:I love freedom of, speech and
freedom of expression very much so.
373
:Yeah.
374
:And if you are afraid to put it out there,
you don't want anybody to see it, I know
375
:when I was a little girl, I had journals
and I wrote in them, but my mother used
376
:to break into them, steal my diaries, open
them with the key, smash them, rip them,
377
:whatever she had to do to read my diary.
378
:So I was very guarded in how
I expressed myself writing.
379
:, But it felt good to write.
380
:And I didn't know back then as
a kid why it felt good to write,
381
:but I, I know now obviously.
382
:But I used to write, and then I used
to rip them up and go down to the
383
:river, and put them in the water and
let them float away And now I know…
384
:And it was funny, I just kinda
did that instinctually, but now I
385
:know how healing that was for me.
386
:That's wonderful experience.
387
:Thank you for sharing that.
388
:That's really amazing.
389
:they tell you that.
390
:When you're going through
healing and you want to forgive
391
:someone, write a letter to them.
392
:It doesn't matter if you
never send the letter.
393
:Mm-hmm.
394
:Write it and then burn it.
395
:I agree.
396
:But get it out of your body.
397
:I am a huge believer in all
of these suppressed emotions.
398
:those people that bullied you,
write a letter to them and forgive
399
:them, and then throw it away.
400
:Who cares?
401
:That kind of expression and that kind of
release is what we need to start healing.
402
:I love that.
403
:That's a great point of intention.
404
:I love that.
405
:That's amazing.
406
:Yeah.
407
:Thanks.
408
:And life is intentional.
409
:- Yep … you don't heal
unless you intend to heal.
410
:You have to- … put some effort into
things, and- Right … so I try to
411
:say I do everything with intention.
412
:But poetry is such…
413
:I, I have books and books and
books of poems that I found.
414
:I actually found a, folder-
Oh … and it had all these poems
415
:stuck in it that I had written.
416
:And it was kind of fun, and then
it was kind of morbid, 'cause I
417
:went back and read them, and I was
like- … "Wow, I was really sad."
418
:That happens.
419
:Life happens when you least expect it.
420
:I know that feeling.
421
:I've had times when I've been sad,
too, growing up, because I was,
422
:because I was bullied at first,
and so I know what it's like.
423
:'Cause- I had a dysfunctional family.
424
:It was part of my life
experience growing up.
425
:But life taught me huge lessons,
and I, I had a lot of my faith and
426
:spirituality that enabled me to, be
loved by God and, have friends in my
427
:life who have really helped me out fully.
428
:Well, I think that is super important,
and for the people listening, I
429
:think that's super important, too.
430
:So if you had to say,, growing up,,
after that dysfunction, what are
431
:the three biggest influences you
had to make you healed, or feeling
432
:better, or on your way to healed?
433
:I can tell you, first of one,
the first one is friendships.
434
:The first…
435
:second one is music.
436
:Music, okay.
437
:And God, of course.
438
:And God, of course.
439
:I love that.
440
:Yeah.
441
:But you didn't start with God.
442
:That's funny.
443
:I know.
444
:That's ironic.
445
:I apologize.
446
:No, Never apologize.
447
:You do you.
448
:I just think it's funny, 'cause you
said, "And God, of course," , just
449
:the way you said it would be
like, God, music, friendships.
450
:Yeah, that's what I was supposed to say.
451
:I wasn't thinking.
452
:No.
453
:No, because Maybe your finale was God.
454
:Yes, that's correct.
455
:I save the best things for last.
456
:There you go.
457
:Amen to that.
458
:And I think that's important.
459
:But it's, again, I deal with a
lot of people that don't even
460
:have that belief and don't even
have that faith and that hope.
461
:I personally believe that you- It
makes it a lot easier Right And I
462
:think, I don't know where you're coming
from, but for me it was kind of nice
463
:to throw it up , and surrender and
be like, "Hey, I can't handle this.
464
:I can't…
465
:Like, I need you to take this off
my plate," and then just relax
466
:and just know that there was
something out there bigger than me.
467
:I think that's the big concept.
468
:To me it was.
469
:That's nice.
470
:I like that very much.
471
:That makes a lot of sense to me too.
472
:Yeah.
473
:I agree.
474
:Yeah.
475
:So, so tell us if people wanna work
with you, how do they work with you?
476
:I will…
477
:Is it just through Substack?
478
:No, I have other social
media platforms too.
479
:Okay.
480
:So for example, I'm on Blue Sky
481
:i'm, @romanticsinger24 on Blue Sky.
482
:Okay.
483
:And I'm also on, Facebook.
484
:It's, michael.teferi.16,
485
:so you can find my Facebook profile there.
486
:And I also have a, a, a
personal Instagram page.
487
:It's called @romanticsinger24 And I
also have my Instagram professional
488
:page with, for my positive psychology
coaching experience, which is,
489
:@michaelteferi24.
490
:Okay.
491
:And I will put all of that in the
show notes, so if you guys are
492
:listening and you're driving or
you're not being able to write
493
:something down, don't worry about it.
494
:Everything will be in the show
notes so that you can reach Michael
495
:i'll put the Substack link in
there so you can read his poetry.
496
:It's, I'm sure, amazing.
497
:So, Michael, thank you so much for coming
on, but you're not off the hook yet.
498
:That's fine.
499
:Okay.
500
:Do your thing.
501
:If you had to give the listeners one
piece of advice or words of wisdom
502
:from Michael Tefari, what would it be?
503
:I would say that it's really important
to move forward in a direction you
504
:care about with a genuine dose of
meaning, purpose, and conviction.
505
:Amen.
506
:Poof.
507
:You had that one nailed, huh?
508
:… I came up with that a very long time ago.
509
:I, it's, I…
510
:It's my forte.
511
:Okay.
512
:I- So repeat it again slowly
so the audience can hear.
513
:You can do everything, everything you
want towards moving forward in life
514
:towards, meaning, purpose, and conviction.
515
:Okay, you can do anything you want and
you can do anything you want, moving
516
:forward in life with m- purpose,
meaning- Meaning- Oh, do it again.
517
:One more time.
518
:It says…
519
:That's fine.
520
:I'll do it again.
521
:So you can move forward in a direction
you care about with a genuine dose
522
:of meaning, purpose, and conviction.
523
:Amen.
524
:Mm-hmm.
525
:I'm not even gonna try to repeat it.
526
:You said it perfectly.
527
:Thank you.
528
:I learned about that many years
ago as part of my life experience.
529
:It's a lived experience that I have.
530
:Okay.
531
:And honestly, it's the lived experience
that is gonna let you be a coach and
532
:let you be a poet and all of that
stuff, because you are expressing
533
:yourself, and you are helping and being
compassionate and empathetic and loving
534
:and kind through your lived experience.
535
:And I know the world appreciates that.
536
:Thank you so much.
537
:I am happy to have you
here during this call.
538
:It's been an amazing
experience for your podcast.
539
:Thank you so much for having me.
540
:You are very welcome.
541
:And for everybody else out there
listening, you've heard it.
542
:Check out Michael Tefari's Substack.
543
:Check him out.
544
:Just see what he does.
545
:Listen to him.
546
:Read his poems.
547
:And know that if you have something that
is , stuck in you, and it needs to get
548
:out, that poetry, writing, speaking,
anything you can do is going to step
549
:you forward to being happier, and it's
going to be one step forward to that life
550
:that you so want and also so deserve.
551
:Right.
552
:So I hope you guys loved this.
553
:And for the rest of you and for
everybody else, come back next week.
554
:You all have a very blessed day.
555
:And don't forget to tune in tomorrow
for Tammy's Takes, where I take one
556
:concept from this podcast- And build
on it Can I mention one more thing?
557
:Yes, you can.
558
:So when it comes to my Substack
on my, bio, it has my phone
559
:number, so anyone can call me too.
560
:I just wanna let you know about that.
561
:Peace out.
562
:Okay, cool.
563
:Sounds great.
564
:So yeah, so it's on there in the Substack.
565
:You can reach out to Michael, text
him, call him, whatever you wanna do.
566
:Reach out and learn how someone came
from the dysfunction and the bullying
567
:and all that stuff, and is now here
to make the world a better place.
568
:. So we will see you all back soon.