And in this episode today, we're talking about all the things we didn't achieve. that we had set out to, why we didn't achieve them, why we might have pivoted, how we pivoted, why we think it's important to pivot sometimes when those goals no longer align. We talk, we kind of touch in again on this topic of rigidity and being too rigid with our goals and how confining they can often be sometimes, so.

We cover a little bit of kind of the basics of what we talked about in that past one. So you can dive right into this one and I hope you all enjoy it. Okay, this is I think a long time in coming, but I'm so excited because we recorded an episode literally a year ago that we put out together of, you know, coming from 2022 into 2023 and our goals and what we're so excited about.

Diana Mendoza:

Leigh Ann: Oh, I love it. Yes, I can't wait. So I think we should both start with highlighting. I think we each had like one big goal that we were coming into 2020 with. So I think we should each highlight those. So you go first.

Diana Mendoza: My main big one was I was going to start a podcast. And I was going to create a space for breast cancer survivors.

And other women in, in that world. So that was my big main one did or did not happen.

Leigh Ann: Expanding the reach of your mission with Never Alone Candles through that podcast. Yeah. Okay. So mine was to pursue professional soccer. I'm laughing at myself. Yeah, I, I'm so excited to hear about like the journey that took you on. And I think some of the things we're going to highlight is these goals we set, why didn't we achieve them?

What was the clarity that came up around it? Where did we pivot to instead? What did pivoting allow us to bring in? Instead of that thing, what did it create space for? And also just like how each of us started to get that clarity of, you know what, I don't know if this is what feels aligned anymore.

Diana Mendoza:

You know, deep down, I knew that the tasks this was going to be, it was a big task. It was not just another business, but it's like, I think deep down, I knew I wasn't clear. There was no clarity of how I wanted to do this. I was like, I just want to do this because I've had it in my heart for a long time.

But there was no clarity. And one of the things I've learned in running Never Alone Candles is that I had clarity from day one. And I think that's why I'm still in business because I was clear from day one of like what my mission vision was. So I just had like, just this idea that I wanted to do, but it was, I'd never had that clarity.

So, well, how do I want to help them? It wasn't just about having a podcast, isn't and wasn't about me. It was about servicing other women in that community. The more I like started to think about it and start writing and putting things together, it just wasn't coming together. It was like, but why, but what I kept asking myself, but why do you want to do this?

But why do you want to do this? And I can never get a clear answer. And then just weeks went by and I still couldn't get it. And then at one point I'm like, do I even have space for this? Okay. Do I even have space for this? And what am I doing, you know, with never alone that there's like emptiness, you know, to service other, these women.

Or can I take Never Alone and still service these women with that brand, right? That is where I started to realize, well, Never Alone Candles was born based on the fact that it was because I was, you know, re diagnosed with cancer. So that was, that, that mission's already in that brand. So I'm like, why do I want to expand to a whole other thing when I have a business that does actually talk about that?

So it was a lot of it, I felt like, because I couldn't get clear. I had to slowly let go of the idea and the goal. And one of the things that I started, and I, I mean, I reached out to a couple organizations. I pitched them an idea. They were like, Oh my gosh, when you're ready and done, please come back to us.

We will help you support you. We will tell all of our community. Even with that and getting support and talking, people like you rallying and saying, yes, you can do this. You should do this. I still could not get the clarity. And what I've done in between is now support those organizations further, you know, by talking to them, talking to their community, supporting other women that are going through breast cancer.

You know, using Never Alone as a platform and donating to their cause and life for their events and I feel like I Use those contacts and those people that were trying to push me to do this thing I'm still in it with them and supporting them because I just couldn't get the clarity. Yeah, I just couldn't get the clarity

Leigh Ann: Yeah, and I wonder sometimes I think when we can't get that clarity.

It's either because it's It's just an idea, but it's a not right now idea, or it's because we've attached these outcomes to the idea, like having this podcast will allow me to connect with this community and we've attached them. And those definitely might be true, but like the brain is kind of going, well, what I really want isn't necessarily the podcast.

It's that connection that support that community. And the reason it's not totally clicking is because. You know, the mind, body or spirit is like, no, I want that community, but I want it in a different way. And let's, let's go figure out what that other way is.

Diana Mendoza: Yeah. And really what my whole intention was like, redefining the story, right?

Redefining the story of a survivor instead of just. Talking about treatment and all of that stuff. So for me, I, but I could not, that one idea, I just couldn't expand it through. And like you said, maybe it's just not the right time. Yeah. So that's that. And we can talk about the way I feel about it now, but.

I want to hear about you.

Leigh Ann: Right. And what I'm so excited to hear about too and dive into for each of us is I think there's so many pivots that happen in life. We set a goal, we set an achievement, we set an intention. And as we start along that path, we realize Ooh, that's, it's not right. But I think sometimes because we set the goal, we feel like, Oh, but I have to hold myself to it.

And so the time it takes from us realizing, first of all, just realizing it's not aligned anymore to then actually that moment of intentionally making the pivot sometimes can be like months, you know, because we're, we're so holding onto the goal, the intention. And so that's what I'd like a little more from you on too, is like.

Was that a quick process? Did it take a few weeks or a few months for you to go? Here's why I can't get clarity. It's because blank. And then once you did have that clarity of, you know what? It's not the time for the podcast. Like how quickly were you able to make?

Diana Mendoza: Oh no, it was months. I, cause I remember talking to a couple people in May and June where I was still holding on to this.

And so in the interim of like January through June, I was like trying to flush out this, this concept, right? This idea and not only flushing out the concept, but just like, how would I get it out to the people? Like all the things that has, you know, has to do with, you know, all the logistics, right? But it took, it was, it was literally after a conversation I had in June that I'm like, this just doesn't feel right.

Right now and it was simple as that and you know for the first time in My life where I put a goal. I didn't feel bad. I was like it just wasn't for this year It wasn't meant right now. I will get the clarity of this concept when it's time And by the way, and if it's never time, I don't know. Maybe it will never happen You know and one of the things I wasn't going to force this That was the other thing.

I wasn't going to force this goal because what I have learned in the last few years is like, there's nothing to be forced. If it's for you, it will be for you, you know, it will not pass you. So it took about six months and then I, and then to be quite honest with you, I let it go. I let it go. I was like, okay, well then how do I service these people who have been helping me?

How do I still help them? Right. And now, again, that was about just. Either sponsoring something, donating candles, you know, talking to some of these patients one on one and still being of service in that way. Maybe it wasn't in the grandiose way that I wanted it to be, but it was still being impactful and that, you know, fills up my heart, right?

Leigh Ann: Yeah. Yeah. And I'm really excited to hear more about that. Like what the pivot allowed you to bring in instead. But I want to highlight something you're saying, which is, I just think sometimes when things are unaligned, they are so dang hard. It just feels like, why can't I get clarity?

Why can't this work? Why does it, for me, there's oftentimes like a very real somatic feeling in my body. Like it just feels heavy. I feel avoidant. It's like icky. It doesn't feel light.

Diana Mendoza: It almost felt like my throat chakra was closed. I know we've talked about this stuff, like where that's one of the things that when I'm feeling stress and anxiety about something, my throat chakra just closes up.

It's because I just could not explain what I wanted to do. And even I couldn't explain it to myself. And if I couldn't explain it to myself, you know, when I look back, I'm like, I didn't have space for it. You know, I, I didn't have space to create something because I wanted to create something beautiful.

and different than what was already out there. And I don't think I physically and emotionally had the space for it. Honestly. I mean, when I look back, I'm just like, yeah, I did not have the emotional capacity to do something like this right now. When I think being like, wow, I left my corporate job almost two years ago, that took a while for me to kind of like, detox and decompress, you know, and now I'm a full time entrepreneur.

to create something like this with the best intention and with clarity. I just, yeah, I mean, it just wasn't there.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. And not that it's not to be said that when you are doing something that's in alignment, it's just easy breezy. There's no issues. It all happens perfectly. I think we both know launching a new business, launching a new online community.

Like there, it takes work. It takes hard work. But what I find is. When it's really aligned for me, even the parts that are hard and tedious, there's still this like lightness and uplifting feeling and excitement about doing that hard work. But when it's unaligned, it just feels like I'm like dredging through the mud.

Diana Mendoza:

Yeah, and that's what I'm saying, like, it's almost like you're just forcing that goal because you said it out loud to someone, right? You just, you said it and now you're like, oh, let me prove that I can do this. And we're not doing pride anymore in this lifetime. Like, I have nothing to prove to anyone at this point in my life.

Actually, I never did. And, and, you know, that was something that I had to e box out my whole pride. But I just feel like you are right in that moment. It was like, it's just, this feels heavy. It's not coming out as easily as I thought. And, you know, you make such a good point. It feels light. You'll do the late nights.

You'll work really late. You'll work the weekend. You'll be like, Oh my God, I'm so into this because it just feels aligned with your body and your mind. And it just wasn't. So that was, you know, and by the way, that doesn't mean that I have completely not thought about doing it. It's just on the back burner.

And when I get that clarity. It will flow easy, you know, by the way, when it's aligned, everything shows up automatically. Oh, all of a sudden, like the step by steps of having a podcast, boom, it just shows up in your inbox or like you look at something, you're like, oh my gosh, I didn't even have to research it.

It was already there. So I just think that those things like the circumstances of just things showing up, oh my gosh. Aligned with the time in your life.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. The puzzle pieces just come into place. They get revealed to you versus needing to like search and search and search so hard to find the right thing.

And yeah, I just have found that time and time again, you just get like these downloads.

Diana Mendoza: I mean like through meditation or you just all of a sudden you wake up and you're like, that's it. That's it. That's what I want to talk about. That's what I want to do. Yeah. But when it's like so dragged out and you're like, Oh, yeah, totally.

Leigh Ann: What I want to hear more about too, is you kind of said something like this, this is maybe the first time where I didn't meet a goal and I have total peace with it. It's like, great, let's move on. Next thing. What do you think has played into that? You mentioned pride a little bit, which is, you know, peace for me too, that I want to talk about in my own journey.

But. What was different for you this time around? What do you think allowed you to be able to let go of that goal without all the, like, self judgment, shame, whatever might have been there in the past?

Diana Mendoza: Well, I don't want to just say that it's my age. I'm getting older. I'm getting wiser. It's really true, this whole thing about getting older and getting wiser.

It really is. Hitting 45 is, like, a whole other level of just, yeah, you don't care anymore. You know, but I think a lot of it has to do with all the work I've done the last, you know, Really, truly all the last five years, but you know, 18 years of my life doing some kind of healing work, but really the last five years that it was like, yeah, this wasn't for me this year.

It's not for me. It's okay. Like also too, I don't think, cause I, I mean, I did say it on the podcast and, but it didn't bother me that I told somebody this and then I didn't complete it. I just woke up like, it's all good. Maybe, maybe next year, maybe not. I don't know. Whatever. I have something that I really do am passionate about focusing, which is the candle business.

And, of course, there's a lot of other things that I want to do. When the time is right, they will get done. They will. I will have that clarity, just like I had with Never Alone. I really feel like the clarity will come in for something else that will be so aligned. I mean, I don't want to just say it's my age, but a part of it is, as I've done all this healing, I have the skills and the tools to not be so judgmental towards.

It's something that I didn't complete. I did focus a lot on my body last year in terms of really physically getting stronger, like doing different kinds of workouts and really strengthening my heart physically because that's what I had to do. That part of that fee made me feel like, wow, I'm really physically strong.

My heart is healthy. I am healthy. I am happy. It just wasn't the right time. So I just kind of let it go. This is the first time I've had a goal where I just don't feel bad. I just don't feel bad. You know, we don't have to prove or show an excuse to someone that we just didn't follow through because we just didn't follow through.

It just didn't work out for us this year. Like I'm over having to explain myself.

Leigh Ann: Totally. And just, yes, like it's, it wasn't your dream anyway. Who cares what they think? It wasn’t your goal anyway.

Diana Mendoza: And you know, it's not, and I, and I want to emphasize this, this is. I think people, when they make goals, it's not about laziness.

For sure, I will tell you that that really came to, like a conclusion was, it wasn't about being lazy, because believe me, I'm the least lazy person, but it just wasn't there. I mean, there are things that I would stay up, do an all nighter for, because they are aligned with my body. They're aligned with my mind, the whole, my whole spirit.

It just wasn't. And so that is the one thing I did recognize was that I had other, I couldn't make space for it. And it wasn't about laziness. It was just, now don't get me wrong, I did do a lot of Netflix last year. But I think that's what I needed. I did need a lot more rest and I was physically exerting myself a little more.

And by the way, I would say last year, last year and a little bit, yeah, was the first time in my life that I've actually rested.

Leigh Ann: I'm so glad. I feel like we could do a whole show just on how to rest, what it does for you.

Diana Mendoza: And this is the funny part because it was around June where I was like, I'm letting go of this.

I spent all last summer being the Uber driver for Mia, my youngest, taking her to all of her camps. I would do a little bit of work in between and that was it. I spent eight weeks doing this. And at night time, like, and then just into her things. And this was truly the first time in my life that I actually was like, wow.

I just kind of go with life and whatever floats my boat today, I'm just picking up, dropping off, making food. And then maybe I'll work a couple hours here and there. And I was resting the entire time for two months straight, like just for two months. And I think that's where it was like, it's okay, I'm gonna let go of that goal.

It's, it's just not for me. I think my season was more about resting versus doing.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, and I think the point that's kind of beneath that is when we do things that when we like force it when it's not aligned, even though we feel like it feels heavy, it doesn't feel right. We don't have the clarity, but we're just like, ah, but I committed to it.

I said I was going to do it. I just need to power through. I think there's like two big ways that really impacts us. One Whatever that thing is that we're creating or pursuing, I feel like it's not going to be as fruitful because it's not actually aligned. And then the second piece though, is that thing that we're giving all this time and energy and emotions to.

Is it just literally taking up space? That means there's other things I cannot bring in. I cannot engage in because this thing is here. And to your point, could I have engaged in all that rest with this podcast? No, you know, what, what wouldn't I have been able to welcome in foster create if I had pushed this forward?

Diana Mendoza: And you know, it's interesting. I've had a really busy first couple of weeks of January and. It's so interesting to me because I'm like, wow, I'm doing late nights. Doesn't even faze me. Doesn't even faze me. I'm like, I'm still going to the gym. I'm still eating healthy. I'm like, but I'm doing some late nights on some projects and it just feels right.

Leigh Ann: Totally. It's so funny. That's exactly how this January has been for me too. Like seven days a week in the office on Saturdays and the office on Sunday. It's exactly the same thing. One, making that mental note of, okay, I know seven day work weeks are not sustainable. We're not doing that forever. This is not going to be a goal forever.

But there is like some really exciting things I'm building on the back end. And it feels so good to be able to get in there on a Saturday and a Sunday and do some of this stuff.

Diana Mendoza: And like at nighttime, you know, if everyone's doing their own thing. I don't have an issue going back on my computer and doing the things that I want to do as well.

And it doesn't bother me. It doesn't phase me. I'm happy to do it. Funny enough, I'll tell you a really quick story. So, I only have decaf coffee now. I don't have caffeine anymore. And, yeah, it was early January. And it was a weeknight. I asked for a cappuccino at a restaurant. And it was caffeine. It was caffeine.

Okay? I haven't had caffeine in over a year and three months. Leigh Ann, I was up until three in the morning, but I kept working. I kept doing things. I was like, when I went to bed at three o'clock in the morning, I was like, wow, this is amazing. Like I wasn't stressed out. And then I only, I think I had to wake up like at seven or eight and there was, I wasn't feeling stressed.

Is that there's got to be some joy in some of this. There has to be some joy. So let's talk about yours.

I did not have peace around it literally to the point where I would have recurring dreams about playing soccer and getting back there. And there just was so much. Unease with this topic that finally middle of 2022 was like, I think I want to do this. Like, who cares if it actually leads to me playing professional soccer?

So all through June, July, August, September, I was playing on semi professional teams here locally, training with them, one on one training with a private soccer coach, one on one personal training with a fitness. expert. I think I drove more last year than I have in like the previous 10 years combined. It was like, go to training at seven, rest, go to personal training after that.

Come home, shower, see clients. Whatever, like go to soccer training a night afterwards, like it was crazy. And at first there was so much alignment. It felt like this part of me that had been left to collect dust finally got to come into the light again, finally came back to life. But July really like it started with, I just was feeling physically unwell.

Really unwell. Like I just don't know if my body can maintain this level. And I was of course, following the professional league, the NWSL and you know, their, their season is nine months long. So nine months of the year, half of that is travel. So half of the year, they're traveling to all the different States playing all the different teams.

And just being in a training at the capacity I was, which is like half. Of what I would be doing if I was playing professionally. I was like, holy shit. You know, is this really what I want my days and my life to look like? You know, four hours a day, traveling, not being with friends, missing things. So there were some of those inklings that were starting to come in.

And it just, like, I felt like I had a real clarity of actually, I don't want to do this. This isn't aligned for me anymore, probably come like July, August, but I was sort of, I got in some conflict with myself of, but I said, I was going to do this. If I don't do it, people are going to think I didn't do it because I couldn't.

And all the naysayers are going to be like, see, told you so. And so there was definitely a pride piece there, but also. I know that historically I have a little bit of a pattern. I think I've done a lot of work around it, so I think it's cleared, but I have a little bit of pattern historically of when something gets hard, I convince myself it's not for me.

I convince myself I don't want to do it. I convinced myself it's unaligned and, you know, now, like the phrase I ask myself is, is it really unaligned or is it just uncomfortable and two very, very different things. But I think in this case it became very clear, like, no, this is unaligned, but I really wanted to be discerning with it.

And I spent a few weeks really trying to process through, is it really unaligned or am I doing this? Like. Subconscious reverse psychology on myself, convincing myself, I don't want to do it just because it's hard, but what helped me get the clarity on that was honestly going through like playing professional soccer.

What is that going to give me? What is that going to create for me? And there was some things like fulfillment. I'll just be so fulfilled. I'll be so joyful doing this thing. And then there were some other things like. It'll give me a bigger platform to be able to connect with more people, to be able to help more people.

When I'm done with professional soccer, I can go back to doing this one on one client work and so many more people will know who I am. And so it was just what really gave me that like total clarity on it was at the core. What I hope playing professional soccer will achieve for me is basically just helping me get back to what I'm already doing, but just on a bigger platform.

Diana Mendoza:

And how did you feel when you're like, when you made that decision?

Leigh Ann: Oh my, it was like that lightness that just like, the relief. Like the revitalization again. And I do think, I think part of the physical illness and fatigue that was setting in for me was just my body being like, no, no, no, no, this is not it.

We need to pivot. Even though there was so much joy, like I love playing. I love the community. I love athletics. I love sport. I love competition. And I do think what came out of that for me was a clarity of, Oh, I need to be involved in this. I need to be involved in athletics in some way. But what that looks like now might be, you know, maybe playing recreationally, maybe coaching as part of those semi professional teams, being a mental health and emotional wellness support, but you know, like an upleveling sort of sports performance.

Kind of support, but not necessarily like high competition.

Diana Mendoza: Well, I'm so proud of you for doing this for eight months on the intensity that you did because I would see this and I would know, wow, she is traveling everywhere. She's doing her thing. And so I hope you're proud of yourself that you did do it from January through and you gave it that, that real opportunity to see what would come out of it as you were speaking.

I already see. the positive that has come out of this because I think what you don't realize is that the Accrescent is going to be such a big. Impact on that community still, whether like you said, it's either coaching one on one because that what you do now, do you know how impactful this for these ladies as they are in that professional world and they need the mental health skills to get through that career?

So I can see it. I can see what's coming out of it. So I hope you're proud of yourself.

Leigh Ann: I think I did record an episode like in June or July when I first started playing with the semi pro team. And my God, was it a humbling experience. Okay. And I am very, very proud of myself because June, July is where it got really hard.

It got hard, but it still felt aligned, and I wanted to quit. And I know that if I had quit in that moment, it really would have been just because it was hard.

Diana Mendoza: Yeah, but you followed through. You followed through to the end. Yeah.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, but it was very clear to me. It was like, Ooh, yeah, I, I think I said this in the podcast.

I was like, I feel like a loser. I feel like a fraud. I feel like an imposter. These girls are 20 years old, 18 years old. Like what am I doing here? And it was embarrassing. It was uncomfortable. It was super hard. It was so humbling every day to show up and be one of the worst players on my team. I've never experienced that before.

And I am so proud of myself for not quitting because of that. You know, and just continuing to push through, uh, one of the things I was saying to myself, and I think this is really like what comes out of the deep trauma healing is, you know, in the midst of some of those super like embarrassing, humbling days and moments, I was like, like to be embarrassed, like I will take being embarrassed any day over some of the shit I've had to go through.

Diana Mendoza: Well, and I think that is such a big point. And this is why I talk about like age. And why I'm not trying to use age as the excuse of why I'm just like, meh, whatever. But really, when I look back, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I did not complete this goal. Oh well, I've done such hard things in my life. This is not a big deal.

I don't feel any judgment toward me. I'm still aligned with other things. That I love and I just need to pivot and figure something else out and, you know, I, I am the person who wants to have multiple things going on, right? I don't just want to have never alone. I do have other dreams and goals. And so one of those out of the many will come to fruition and it will come to fruition very easily versus.

forcing and hard. There won't be a point where I'd be like, Oh, this is hard and I can't do this. No, it will be like this moment is hard and I'm going to get through it and I can't wait till I'm past this. Right. And by the way, in the beginning and I know this when you were doing the training in January It was easy.

And I wouldn't say easy physically. I'm just saying it was an easy decision, right? Like you were going to training, you were going to practice. But then when you start like July, August, you're like, wow, this is almost forceful, like I'm forcing this because I said I was going to do this. And that's when, when it's forced.

I feel like right there, red flag.

Leigh Ann: Totally. Yeah. And I just think we've said this in so many different ways, but when it's aligned, even when it's hard, the energetic, like the deep sort of spiritual, emotional, energetic output is so light. It's such a light weight, but once it's unaligned, it becomes like this, Oh, this heavy, grueling task that I really need to, like, it costs me so much.

Diana Mendoza: It wasn't like this took us a week or two to figure out. This was months, months of doing for you. It was training and doing traveling, doing ons for me, it was research, talking to people, trying to figure my clarity out on this particular concept and months and months and months. So I look back and I'm like, we really did take the time to flush this goal out.

And the conclusion was it just wasn't aligned for us this past year. But that doesn't mean that you are going to stop being in the community of soccer, nor will I in the breast cancer community, obviously. So, you know, it just, it's going to be in a different way, in a different format. What that may be, I don't know what it is, you know, yet, but I'm sure I know you.

Like deep kindred spirits. That, I don't know how else I would've met them if I didn't decide to go on this journey. And so even though I've, I'm pivoting, I'm not pursuing professional soccer anymore. Like it was a path. The universe, God wanted me to walk because he was like, there's some people we need to bring in.

There's some things we need to bring in, and this path is gonna get them there, and then we're gonna go pivot down a different path.

Diana Mendoza: You know, I feel about that with everything that in life, like people that come into our life and they're just for chapters, right? There's some that are for seasons. There's some that are lifetime and I think any kind of goal that we pursue, whatever the timing may be, it was meant for us to go down that path because it will lead us somewhere else or it will reveal something that we needed to be revealed.

I don't think that either, you know, you had to do this, like you had to go down this path. Me, I had to just flush out this idea that I've been sitting in my head for years. And like you said, we will not leave this community. We will not, not be a part of it. It just may not be the way we want to, we intended originally.

Leigh Ann: You just get that clarity of, oh, wait a second, I can still be a part of this, but in a different way, in a different context. What, what this gives for me or what this gives to me is something I can still get just in a different capacity, maybe, you know? And I think for me, really, just the root of all of it was just the peace.

I was living in such dis ease with this topic of soccer and having not been able to play and not pursuing it. And really by the time like August, September came around, I was like, when I've made that kind of final decision in my head to stop pursuing that, there was so much peace. And I was so grateful.

Diana Mendoza: A message to everyone is that it's okay to pivot. It's okay to change your mind. I feel like every day we get an opportunity to choose and it's okay if you choose differently the next day. It really is. You don't have to just because you told someone something and if you don't feel like it anymore, it's fine one of the things that because I started working out so much last year and It has become a lifestyle and I've realized that it's like when you when it's really aligned in your life It just becomes a part of you.

It really becomes a part of your lifestyle, and I don't have to force like oh I mean there are days. I don't want to go and work out there are there plenty of those days, but it's actually It's a lot easier if I'm like, Oh, I don't really feel like it, but like, why am I just being lazy right now? Or is it my body is in pain or it's, you know, and typically it's just me being lazy.

So then I'm like, Nope, got to go. And then once I get there, I'm like, Oh, I so I'm so happy I made that choice because it is a part of me and I love, it brings me so much joy to go and work out now. It becomes a lifestyle when we have a goal and. It, again, if it's forced, it's not aligned, it's a struggle to even attempt to completing that goal.

It really is. It really is. I think that's why a lot of us, you know, our resolutions, you know, I don't believe in resolutions anymore. When we make those by week two, and I think there's, there's stats on that, right? Week two, week three, everyone's like, that's why I will never do a dry January in my life. I mean, I was drinking on January 4th anyways.

I mean, it's like, I don't believe in that stuff anymore because I have failed, um, and it's like, maybe I'll cut down or I'll do this, but I want to do things that are truly aligned with and what I'm going to, what I know I will stick to and if it's for it to become a lifestyle. But I'm really proud of you.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited to hear some of your stuff. There was a piece I wanted to add because you were talking about it. Oh, this is about resolutions. I think, and I'm totally on the same page, these clear cut, rigid resolutions and goals.

I really think one of the biggest reasons so many of us, like, fall off the bandwagon or whatever the word is that we want to use there is because we are so, like, as human beings, we are so fluid. What is aligned for me today might not be aligned for me next month. And so when we make these super rigid resolutions and goals, it doesn't allow space for our own growth.

You know, our own evolution throughout the year of just who I'm kind of changing and shifting and up leveling into. And I just think that's why a lot of it doesn't align or to your point, like kind of your experience with it, which is I set the goal. Because I thought the goal would get me this outcome.

And then as you went along that journey, you were like, Oh, wait, maybe this isn't the only goal that can get me this outcome. Maybe I could pivot to this and still get the same outcome. But when we're like so rigid on the goal, sometimes we don't realize, Oh, maybe I don't need this exact thing in this exact way to still get the core of why I set that in the first place.

Diana Mendoza:

Right? So I have my four pillars of what I, what I have, like, so they're like little categories. Okay. But then what I'm doing this year is creating just monthly goals with no actual timeline. Just how I'm feeling this month for January. Like quite honest, I didn't think I was going to hit it so hard the beginning, but it has been so easy to work seven days a week.

So I'm looking at every month individually and I feel like this is where I need to be because I'm. Looking at it as emotionally. How do I feel this month? What do I want to call it? What do I want to heal? What do I want to work on? You know, this month has been about productivity and imagining the possibilities.

I mean, that's my word for the year is imagine. So imagine if this works out. Imagine if this possibility comes through. Imagine if you can do this. Imagine that you will do this. Like just imagine. So I've been able to be very actionable this month and now next month, I will sit down and be like, okay, what do I want to call in this month?

What worked in January? Okay, this worked really well. What didn't work? What didn't I accomplish? Okay, great. Do I have space for this in February to complete this task? Maybe I do. Maybe not. You know, one of the things that we talked about before recording this was how we unfortunately let go of some of our self care.

Nothing is going to happen in the business if I don't, you know, respond back immediately. And I missed that last year. I really put that on the back burner. Many mornings were and I missed that. I miss it. So now I'm back into that routine So anyways going back to the whole point of because we change and we're so fluent as humans I'm just taking this year very differently and just going month by month by month and See where that leads me and in those pillars Let's see what gets done without any force, without any desperation, because that's a killer for me.

Desperation. And trusting that. I can get the task done in time or the goal in time that I'm worthy of it, that I deserve it. And, and we'll see what happens. I mean, this, which is, you know, by the way, that's not really my personality to be like, so like, just let things flow.

Leigh Ann: You are like metrics. Let's go. I mean, especially as the business owner, like so detail oriented.

Diana Mendoza: I'm just taking things week by week to be quite honest with you. I'm like, You know, I'll look reflect on Sundays and I'll be like, what do I want to call in this week? I really want to I really want to complete this task So i'm going to put this on my calendar like we got to get this done this week or I have this idea I need to pull this through, you know It's the first time in the business right now with the calendar where I don't really know Like, what new things, a new sense I'm bringing in.

I am taking my sweet time. And I even post this on my Instagram, which is, by the way, I haven't posted in three weeks or two weeks or whatever. I don't feel bad about it. I'm just like, you know what? I don't feel called to do it. I just don't feel called to do it. I'm still getting business without being so, having that pressure and doing things that are just, they don't feel aligned right now.

They just don't feel. So I'm in the, I'm in like the lab, my lab, you might, which is my garage testing new things. And that feels good when they launch. I couldn't even begin to tell you. I have another piece that's going to be continuing the story from my personal life into the Campbell business. Again, I don't have a timeline and it will happen this year.

I just don't know, but April, May, June, whatever. But, and I feel good about it. I feel good because it's going to, it's going to work out for me. It just won't be so forced.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. What are your four pillars?

Diana Mendoza: I'm one of the pillars. So, so, you know, I, and I say me, I mean like health, health, health, of course. And I think that's always my pillar that will always be my number one pillar health, never alone.

And I do have a project that I have started. I'm not ready to reveal it yet.

Leigh Ann: It's funny because I have a similar approach, which is I call them my baseline buckets. It's like these broader categories of areas I want to hit. And for me, I do it on like a daily basis. What are my daily? What's my daily baseline, but I love that too.

Like I really like this kind of framework that you're giving us for month to month. Like what are the things I want to make sure I am attuning to I'm fostering, I'm nurturing in each of my months and you've got those four pillars, but then what's so great about just having the category is, you know, okay.

Next month in February, I need to be doing something for each of these four pillars, but what that something is can look completely different this month than from last month.

Diana Mendoza: Yeah, and I feel like I'm building upon, right? So this month the things I'm trying to initiate Let's say just for it for never alone will be the it will be build further in February because whatever I got done in January We'll just continue to build that in February But without such a rigidity like that's you know My life has always been so rigid as I do this do this this time and you know That's who I've always been and I'm kind of over it, you know, and like my health, you know I and I health is like a huge category right because I that can encompass food physical Your wellness spirituality, I kind of encompass everything in my health and like, you know, going back to reading again I'm an avid reader.

I kind of put that off last year I'm reading so much about the brain and the subconscious and really doing all that work and I know you love that stuff So I'm doing that also eating in a way that is more intuitive versus Oh, that's not good for you because it's carbs or I'm just like, no, that's what I feel is going to be good for my body right now.

I really want the sweet potato fries because I want the sweet potato fries and not feeling bad about that. You know, also to like, even like working out what makes me feel good. I can continuing to box. So boxing is my thing, but I stopped doing all this cardio. It doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel good.

So I'm not going to do cardio anymore. I'll walk. That's it. I'm not going to do it. You know, even like the business family next month, I have vacation with Mia. I'm so excited. We've been planning this trip for a year. It's like that will take a week of my life. And then she goes off to like a little camping trip.

Guess what? I'm going to hang out with my husband a lot. Like then, then there goes practically my whole month of February is like the month of love and family. I will be doing that. Right. And whatever I can put in that with my other pillars, it will happen, but not with such rigid timelines. Right. I just want to flow.

And I've had a really busy month for Never Alone, unexpectedly, by the way. Oh, okay. And I think part of it is just this attitude of waking up, doing the things, but not being so desperate and forceful to make sure that these goals happen. They just came, they're just flowing through and yeah, I mean, I'm not complaining about it.

I just feel like, wow, this might be, you know, the other part too, is like, you know, the vision board. And Alexandra, my daughter, of course, you know, we, we're like, let's do monthly vision boards instead of one ginormous one that is so generic and broad. Why not do Monthly ones when they're much more detailed and focused on what you're feeling for that.

Leigh Ann: Well, just what I love about this is, this is something I was talking about within the new Accrescent community is, I think with the whole, like the energy of the new year. It starts to train us and prime us to just do that one check in. And I just think we all need to get in the practice of doing a deeper inventory, doing a deeper check in on a much more frequent basis.

Diana Mendoza: And I think that's it. Because to the points we’re both making, life is so fluid.

Leigh Ann: points we're both making, life is so fluid. Things come up. If I decided, Oh, I'm going to work out every single day for an hour a day. And then next month I find out I have mold toxicity. Like, okay, those two don't go well together. So I need to be able to pick.

Diana Mendoza: I mean, flexibility is a big thing now where we have to be flexible with some of these goals.

We don't even have to take as far as mold toxicity. Even just the fact that, you know, you have. I don't know. All of a sudden you have a trip you have to take or someone in your family is in need and you have to care for them more than what you had planned to. And so things need to shift and move. That's where you have to have flexibility with some of these such rigid goals.

Where you're like, okay, you know, I can't work out five days this week. I can do two. Hey, that's still part of my pillar That's still there. I'm still continuing. It just is not at the level that I wanted to this week or this month You know, you know, even if like finances and stuff, it's like oh we had an expense that was unexpected Okay, then this month I can't go out to a couple fancy restaurants this month because I had this unexpected.

That's okay Maybe we can do one Instead of two fancy dinners, hey, that's still part of the family time and the, it's still, you're still moving forward and you're still giving you joy within that pillar, within that goal. So I think flexibility is a big, and month to month. I like the check ins. I mean, that's what I'm doing now.

I'm like, I'm actually doing weekly check ins, Leigh Anne, because every week I'm feeling like a little different every single week.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, I just think that's so great. Like the, the more we can do it and the more that it's whatever's resonating, being able to do that. I have a habit for a few years now of at the start of each month, I go back.

Cause I get a new journal each year and the first pages of the journal are the, my words of the year, my intention. Maybe if I have some specific things I'm trying to pursue or work towards, I'll put them there. But then it's like, I go back to those first pages. At the start of every month throughout the year of like, okay, where am I at?

Do I need to pivot? Is this not working anymore? Am I off track? Are these things that actually really are still aligned, but I haven't taken any action on. So it's just a great way. And I just think we need that more regular check to serve ourselves best.

Leigh Ann: There’s some that are still in the works. So I have a lot of words of the year. I love it. Normally I choose like a couple words of the year. Some of my words are magnetic, connected, and I'll, I'll say more to that cause that's a big one for me this year. That was actually a word last year, seen, seen is a big one for me this year.

And then I do have some general goals for business stuff of things I want to start to create, but kind of like what you're saying, there's courses I'm planning. I'm relaunching the podcast. So general goals with that, but there's not like these hard metrics of, okay. And I need to do this exact thing by this exact date in this exact kind of quantity or whatever it might be.

So there's the broad goals that I'm like, okay, I need to make sure I'm doing something. Each day, week, or month to pursue this, but what that looks like, there's so much fluidity available.

Diana Mendoza: And flexibility within, within that. Yeah. And I think that's important. It's like, you know, your overall goal. And you're doing something daily, weekly, monthly to inch toward the completion of that goal and to make it live and, and stuff.

So I love that. I love that.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. And then there's like two, I always do like business stuff, but you know, personally this year I. There's also, you know, the emotional work that I do of, okay, what's the next up level? What are some of the patterns I want to start to work through? What are some of the emotional, like repressed stuff that I, I know I want to keep working on or start working on?

And for me, there's two big, big ones this year. One is anger. I know a lot about that girl. I want to start to, I know, I've got a lot of unprocessed anger because of some. Last trauma.

Diana Mendoza: Isn't it interesting how some people can show anger and then some people who have it like repressed, suppressed? It's wild because I am the opposite of you, I'm like, Oh, I can show my anger real quick.

But you know what? And I think we've talked about this before, where it's like, I don't know. I've learned that a lot of it wasn't anger, it was actually frustration and deciphering between that. So yeah, looking at those feelings, I love that. I think we should all every year, look every month, look at our feelings.

You know, I think something that's, I've been aware of, but it's really coming online for me. And this might even shock people that they, they, I don't know that people would guess this about me, but I'm, I can be very social. I have a very hard time inviting in and receiving deep connection. It feels very scary.

It feels very threatening. It's hard for me to trust that. And I think that's because of the sexual abuse as a child of just that connection doesn't feel safe, but it's something I've yearned for my entire life is that deep, deep connection. And I have it. here and there with just a very like a handful of people.

Yeah. And it's like, I really want to foster in more of that deep connection, but there's a lot of work. There's a lot of work that, and a lot of like, so much is processing and clearing and healing, I think to be able to get to that place. But I love that. Those are some of mine.

Diana Mendoza: I mean, I am with you on those.

I mean, my personal stuff, I just feel again, I bring my age again. I just feel I'm turning 46 in April and I haven't felt this confident ever in my life. And I think a lot of it is that last year I realized I was doing a couple things for some people and I'm like, yeah, I'm smart enough to do this stuff.

Like I'm, I'm, I wasn't just this one person that worked 20 years in this one career and can't do this now. Like I have really this last year taken that, like that, changed that mindset of I can change my career. Multiple times if I wanted to. I have in my 20 years of my corporate life, what that served me, it really serves me well, like all of that knowledge, everything I learned and how I built this agency out into a multimillion dollar agency.

Oh my gosh. That is a lot of knowledge that I can bring into never alone, but then also the other things I want to do. So this year, I think in terms of like, just feeling, I'm feeling very confident, but I'm also really open to explore. deeper things, just deeper feelings. And, you know, I really, like last year I came to the conclusion that my anger with frustration, and I've been able to share that much more with like my family, who makes me angry and that I am really trying to learn how to parent Mia because she's a different child versus Alexandra.

And then of course, parenting an adult child and. An 11-year-old, wow. Those are two different things. So I have to almost be like two different people, but just learning that you know how to do that. So my relationship with my children, my daughters, which is the most important thing to me right now, is that it's solid and that I can guide them and I can, we have that connection and really just, you know, really continue to explore on a month to month, week to week.

Like, how am I feeling? And where am I finding joy? Like, how do I find more joy in little things? And, so I think a lot of it's just exploring daily, weekly, how I'm feeling, where can I find joy, pockets of joy. Also too, trying not to let certain things bother me and learning how to separate. Like learning how to separate other people's situations, not bring it into me.

into my life. That's them. That's their business. I don't care whatever they want to do. I'm saying no to certain events that I just don't want to do that. I just don't want to do. And that's okay. And I'm talking about family, friends, work, whatever. Just if it's not feeling like it's for that particular month, it's okay to say no.

Maybe there's something else or that particular outing is just not my cup of tea. And I would rather do something else with my time.

Leigh Ann: The word that's coming up for me is just like curating. You are curating every single week, every single month, curating the life that is going to align, serve you best.

Diana Mendoza: Yeah. That's such a good word, curating, curating. And I'm doing it on a weekly basis versus like this whole year, right? I want to do it weekly. How am I feeling? I look at the calendar. It's like, I want to bring in X more of this, you know, or I really need to take time and dive deep on this because this, this person or whatever situation made me feel kind of icky.

It's like, well, why, why did you, you know, why did you feel this? Why did you feel dismissed? You know, dismiss has been a big word in my life. And like, did that make me feel dismissed? Kinda. Why? Then it, you know, you keep going. So I am, I'm just exploring. I'm going to continue to explore as many feelings as I can this year that come up, that come up.

I want to dive deeper into them. Yeah.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. I just love that because again, it's not forceful. You know, sometimes we, we just go, Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm going to do this thing. And it's sort of just an arbitrary thing we come up with. Or it's very often a thing that we are committing to do because we think we should not because it actually resonates or aligns or light this up.

It's just, well, I guess I should be working out an hour every day. So I guess I'll do that.

Diana Mendoza: You know, I met with my cardiologist on Monday for just my, my checkup and my heart function is so much better than what it was. And he's just like, so he is so proud of me. And he's like, can I share this with my clients?

And I'm like. You know, he's just a different kind of cardiologist, he's amazing. And we talked about how, I asked him like, what can I and can I still do? And he's like, you can do anything you want. You can do anything you want. You can. You will know when things are not well in the body. You will know. You know better than I do.

I can tell you, oh, don't eat this. No, you already know innately. And just because, so I tell someone else they can't have something, doesn't mean that that's for you. You know, and everything that shows whatever you're doing, it's working out. And so, and I said to him, I said, you know, one of the things that these meds, heart meds I'm on, I love them, but you know, I take them with joy when I pop these pills in, I like the way they make my heart feel like just more calm.

My heart rate goes down. I can do all these physical activities now. So I take it with joy and he was, he looked at me like I've never heard anyone say that about medicine. That's And I just said, but it's working in my body, like, look at my results, look at my exams. It's working. But I also know I'm taking it with happiness and gratitude that this medicine is available to get my heart healthier so that I can live longer.

So his, you know, it's like live longer, live better. So again, it's like finding those pockets of joy of simple things that will give you. The energy to pursue the bigger dream on a daily basis, by the way,

Leigh Ann: I just love it. I feel like, you know, even a word for you that's coming up just from all that you've said is just simplicity.

Like let's not overcomplicate.

Diana Mendoza: Yeah. So we got imagine curated simplicity. Listen, I've got the, I had one word and now I have three for sure. I mean, this, like this gives me joy, right? Like I will, we will finish this podcast and I will be overjoyed for the day. Like that we had this opportunity to talk and, and about our past year, our goal that we didn't do, what we're doing differently this year.

It's things like this that just like life is good. I mean, life is just, you have to find that this year we have to make it a point to try to find more pockets of joy.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, and receive them because they're there, they're being able to, like, not let that moment just zip right by. Like, it'd be so easy to make your almond milk, cappuccino, latte thing, whatever, and just kind of go, just not tune in, not be intentional.

And of course there are hard moments, there are hard weeks, there are hard days. But there can always be a moment of joy every single day, even in the midst. of a hard day and being able to have that on our radar to see it and then take a moment to actually receive it. For sure.

Diana Mendoza:And when you are going through those hard moments, to acknowledge that it's a hard moment, what feelings are coming up and why, and then try to flesh those out and work on those.

Um, to see if you can feel better, right? Like what's the next emotion you can get to to feel better so it doesn't stick around so much. I think we have so many, so many of us have had repressed feelings for so long on all kinds of things. You know, you know that because you see that every day of your practice that, you know, I can now instantly after doing sessions with you, you know, I can instantly say, Oh, I'm feeling dismissed.

That person made me feel dismissed. I mean I could actually say it and say it with like, with like laughter almost. But I can acknowledge it now, a word that I didn't even know existed until, you know, gosh, it's 20. So four years ago, and then when it really came up through Evox, you know, even when we Evox about like changing careers and how I just didn't feel confident.

Now I can say if something is kind of not feeling well, I can say, gosh, I am just not feeling confident that I'm capable of doing something like that. But there's no, there's no. The story I've made up in my head, but I can acknowledge that feeling now. I can see it better now, and I think that this year, that's what I'm just trying to do is like, how am I feeling, and how are we going to work through this?

And maybe, you know what, maybe the feeling passes after a couple hours. Yeah. My oncologist actually, who is not going to be my oncologist anymore by the way, um, made a comment to me last week, and she triggered me for Like four or five hours. And then I was like, what does she know? She's just a human being that thinks that she knows everything and she was educated a certain way.

So it's okay. I'm gonna give her a pass. She just didn't know better and she doesn't know me fully. She doesn't know me and how I am. So that's okay. We're just gonna let that go and I was able to move on past it after four hours. I was like, she really stirred up some like thoughts in my head. I'm like, No, no, I won't accept, you know, like, just, you know, make comedy, you know, some of these doctors just don't have great bedside manners.

That's the problem, right? What stirred up for me and it stirred up PTSD and fear and this and that. But I, I had the tools now to do that and to recognize that that's what that person made me feel. And then I was able to just work through it. And then by that night I was like, ah, whatever. So, but I couldn't, I couldn't have done that five years ago.

There's no way.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, well, and also those tools, the emotional work, the mental health work, it doesn't mean I'm never going to have a bad day again. It doesn't mean I'm never going to get triggered again, but I think the one thing I'll point out in this is that trigger in the past might've ruined your whole week.

My whole month. Totally. But because you had the tools now, it became like a four hour turnaround.

Diana Mendoza: And you know, even tying it into our goals, it's like. I wasn't going to allow this woman to ruin my week because it was a Monday, it was a Monday appointment. I'm like, Oh no. And so I'm like, we have to work through this.

And then that was it. And it was like that by Tuesday morning, I was like, we're good to go. I feel like that's why I'm looking at things more on a weekly basis. Curating my week, curating my month more frequently than having this big, broad goal. I mean, I have the overall arch, right, like the overall, but I am looking at things just more on a weekly, even daily sometimes.

Leigh Ann: What comes out of that for me is so often the most healing thing, the most restorative thing is the thing that's going to light us up the most. That's going to. It's resonating. It's aligning so much. I think sometimes we convince ourself, no, I need to, but I have to do the workout, but I have to do this exact meditation even.

And it's like, when really my heart is yearning for just a long walk. And it's like, honestly, right in this moment. If your mind, body, and spirit is yearning for a long walk versus a tedious hour workout, the walks probably going to be more beneficial.

Diana Mendoza: Absolutely. 100%. 100%. Listen, I think it's going to be a great year.

I mean, I, you know, I always come in New Year's with positive mindset and I'm typically positive 95 percent of the time. That's my personality, but I do see it a little more, just more fluid and it's a great word to fluid. Just. It's taking it week by week and seeing what comes up and opportunities that show up.

If they're aligned with my business and my personal life, I'm going to go for them. If they are not, then it's a big no.

Leigh Ann: Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, here's to a year of curation and fluidity and poise and connected and community.

Diana Mendoza: Here's to that.

Leigh Ann: Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here. Like this is just so fun for me.