Transcripts
Hello listeners and welcome back to The Science of Self, where
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you improve your life from the inside out.
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Our guest today is Sonya Figueiredo.
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She's coming to us all
the way from Australia.
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I'm way up here in Atlanta.
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If you can see the map on my desktop,
uh, Sonya is a long ways away.
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We appreciate her joining us.
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Uh, what, like almost a 12
hour difference I believe.
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Sonya, thank you for being here today.
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Please introduce yourself
to our listeners.
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Sonya Figueiredo: Thanks Russell.
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Thank you for giving me the
opportunity to be here with you.
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As Russell said, I'm Sonya Figueiredo and
my company's name is Mindful Transitions
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and I am a coach predominantly for women,
and I work with professional, uh, women
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in corporate, in the corporate world.
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However.
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I have had over 20 years working in
high stakes, multi-billion dollar
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projects, complex procurements with men.
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In fact, there was 10 years where
I was the only female there.
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So if you talk about male
energy, I understand it.
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Can't say I've lived it, but I do
understand it and what I teach.
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It works with both men and women.
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Russell Newton: And
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Sonya Figueiredo: yeah,
that's me in a nutshell.
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Russell Newton: can you give us
some kind of idea of what industry
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it was, what they dealt with?
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Sonya Figueiredo: It was mostly
government and it was large procurements.
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I worked for one of them, it was a mobile
hospital and we are talking massive.
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We are talking, um, up to surgery units.
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So it was not just the external hospital.
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It was all the machines and
everything that went ping.
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So you could imagine the complexity there
of getting that through, and I ran it all.
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Russell Newton: Wow.
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Okay.
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So, uh, yeah, that's, that's a lot.
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You start dealing with hospitals,
uh, a lot, lot that goes on
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in many, many different areas.
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So thanks for clearing that up for us.
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Um, tell us about Mindful Transitions,
a company that you started.
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Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, mindful
Transitions was born last year.
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I had essentially been a mentor
for, for many years, and I woke up
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one morning, well, actually it was
about 18 months ago, I got sick.
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You know, when you run on adrenaline
for such a long time and at such
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a fast pace, eventually your body.
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If you're not listening to
it, gives you a wake up call.
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And mine did.
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I ended up in hospital, thought
I was having a heart attack.
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My husband drove me at 2:00 AM in
the morning to the to emergency.
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Don't do it.
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Always call an ambulance, but we
are only five minutes down the road.
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So we got to hospital and it turned
out that I have atrial fibrillation,
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which is where my heartbeat, when
I was admitted, was 170 beats
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per minute, which is really fast.
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And, uh, for three days I was there
and eventually they told me if
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they couldn't bring it down, they
were going to have to essentially
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stop my heart to restart it again.
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And you can imagine everything that
was going in on my mind because it was
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like, oh, wow, even though my kids are
grown, you know, they're not done yet.
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They, they haven't got
their life partners.
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They've only just finished university,
which is college in America.
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And then it was like, well,
what's my husband going to do?
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All those things that, you know,
anyone would go through at that time.
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And I just went, I just went.
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My business, my line
of work is killing me.
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And I was getting to the age
where it was like, what the heck?
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What is life all about?
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Anyway, you start questioning
as you start transitioning.
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You know, I'm in my fifties, and
you just go, wow, what am I doing?
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You know, is the daily grind, is the burn,
is the stretch in all directions worth it?
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So that was my wake up call.
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I literally got out of hospital, did
a lot of research, and within 48 hours
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I had signed up to an international
coaching college that's accredited,
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not only here in Australia, but
accreditation in, in the world.
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And I just went women.
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Well, I, I was attracted to women
purely because I know women and.
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Maybe because I had been in an environment
that I've worked with men all these
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years, I decided to focus on women.
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But funnily enough, even just
yesterday, I sat across from A CEO
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who's male because I understand,
you know, the dynamics and what.
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But my language translates to men
often because I have seen it and
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observed from a different perspective.
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So yeah, mindful transitions, corporate
women, we don't just teach tools
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and not into leadership tools just
for the sake of leadership tools.
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You can learn them, you can pick
up a book, you can, um, go to.
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A two day seminar and learn what
you need to know about leadership.
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The challenge is putting it into place
consistently, and what I mean about
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that is we have conditionings, we're
all been brought up a certain way, and
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we have conditionings from our family
lineage, or you have some trauma.
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And those leadership tools do not
work if you are triggered sitting
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in a boardroom or if you are
feeling out of sorts, because then
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you can't regulate your emotions.
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And so the work that I
do, we go deep and we.
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Try to focus on what is stopping
someone from breaking into, you
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know, breaking that glass ceiling or
stopping them from being consistent.
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And also teach them the language
of rapport that goes deeper than
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what most tools will give somebody.
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But that's what we do.
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Russell Newton: Mindful transitions, uh,
you refer to neurolinguistic programming
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in your, uh, in your materials as well.
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Is your approach to, can I call it
counseling or therapy or just coaching?
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Is it based on NLP?
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Does it draw some things from
NLP or is it, uh, a hybrid of of
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that and maybe other practices?
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Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, good question.
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Uh, yes, predominantly NLP Uh, the
college that I have gone through
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goes just a little bit higher.
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It takes a hybrid of the best of
the best, but I am certified in NLP
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and I'm just completed certification
in quantum coaching as well.
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So.
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That.
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What that means is we take NLPA
lot of the breathing, a lot of the
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exercises, but then we bring the
client down to the cellular level
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to regulate the nervous system.
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Though I can't promise anyone
that I can fix something, but what
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I can do is promise that I can.
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Help them recognize what's going on and
give them the tools that they can use
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in the moment, or if it shows up, it's
a blip of a recognition as opposed to
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spiraling back into those old habits.
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Russell Newton: Hmm.
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Okay, great.
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Can you give us, um.
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A definition of NLP and maybe what
parts of that are most predominant
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in your quantum transitions?
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I'm sorry, mindful transitions
or, um, quantum methodologies
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Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah.
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Sure.
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Um, essentially your, your
linguistic programming is
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rewiring your thought patterns.
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You know, it's not woo woo.
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It's not something that, you know, we
are not taking you out into the back of
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the room and doing some magical things
and bringing you back, but it's just
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understanding those thought PR patterns
and addressing them and rewiring them.
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So when it you.
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I presented with a triggering
situation, you know what to do.
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And some of that is through
breathing techniques.
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Some of that is what we call anchoring
techniques, which I absolutely love.
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And it's a simple exercise of I
will bring my client to a state of.
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Where they can recall something that's
happy, a happy time for them, and it's
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worked in about five to 10 minutes.
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And then I ask them to do it
every day until it is embedded
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in their neuro pathways.
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And so when they have something that
makes them feel uncomfortable, they're
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starting to have rapid breath or.
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Erratic thoughts.
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They can call on this moment
and within about three to five
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seconds, they'll feel their si
nervous system start calming down.
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That's a beautiful practice.
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Also, do your, you know,
your typical box breathing.
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So if you are sitting in a meeting.
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And things were getting a
little bit uncomfortable and
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you needed to focus a bit more.
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It's a simple, you know, look at a window
for instance, and, and breathe as you
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follow the lines around the corners
and it just gets you back to yourself.
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So that's some of the things I do.
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Quantum will take my client
down further, and that is taken.
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Say series of up to six or
seven coaching sessions.
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It's an hour to two hours each time.
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We start off by not even
really asking a question.
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I start off with breathing, take
them through a visual exercise.
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And I ask them to listen to
their body, where their senses,
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what's coming up for them.
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And we go from there and I will take
them back to their earliest memory.
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And if sometimes it goes even further
than that, it's not even necessarily
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their earliest memory, it's just a
primal thought that they are feeling.
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And we work through that.
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Russell Newton: are you a hypnotist?
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Do you do any of that work or
is it just a super relaxation
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that you referred to earlier?
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Sonya Figueiredo: Sure.
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Um, well, you know, with, with with
Milton language and all that, that is
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all based on, he was, you know, famous.
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Um, and he did do hypno, hypnotism
through language essentially.
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So we, I do use a lot of Milton language
depending on the situation and depending
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on if any trauma actually comes up,
because it will bring the client into.
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A relaxed state, which allows me
to go a little bit deeper than
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what some people are able to do.
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But funnily enough, you mentioned that
in November of this year, I will actually
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be qualified in that area where we do
use more trauma and uh, advanced methods,
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which includes the hip, the hypnosis.
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Russell Newton: When you're working
with someone and you find out it's not
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just an an, and I don't wanna minimize
anxiety, but when it's more than just
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an anxiety or an unsettlement, but you
realize there is a trauma that takes a
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completely different direction than in the
treatment or in the therapy, does it Not?
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Sonya Figueiredo: 100%, yes.
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All the, all the tools go out the
window and we, we, and you know, it's.
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The interesting thing with, so the
differences between coaching and
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psychology, one is obviously the
degree, but it's also we don't just
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have one methodology that we use.
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And when it comes to trauma.
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You know, some people think that
trauma is something terrible and
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something physical has happened
to somebody, and that obviously is
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one thing that can have happened.
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But when you're a child and you are
around about four or six, all of a sudden
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the conditions that could have been
used with you in your child rearing,
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for instance, I had a detached mother.
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I was born premature and for
my first seven months of my
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life, I was in a cold, sterile
environment, uh, in a humidity crib.
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And so I had the fight flight instinct
wired into me from the day I was born.
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My mother had detachment because
she couldn't hold me, and she had.
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What I believe now is would've
been, you know, depression and
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postnatal depression with that.
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And so my child bringing was upbringing
was, even though she loved me,
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the connection was very different.
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And so my trauma and what
came became hyper independence
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was from a very young age.
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And when you are working with somebody
with whatever trauma is presenting,
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sometimes that it's the first time
when they realize it in a coaching
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session and it's a gentle nego, non
negotiations, a gentle walking alongside
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them, helping them navigate, taking
them as far as the body is ready to.
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And that can happen over a series
of three or four sessions before you
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actually get to where they're comfortable.
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To be able to go a little bit further
and then actually address the root cause.
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You just dunno what's going to come up.
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Russell Newton: Just from the,
the last few minutes, there is
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NLP process a more relationship.
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Dependent process in therapy
or in counseling than maybe CBT
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or some of the others would be.
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It sounds like you, I mean you,
you mentioned you're walking side
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by side down a path with a person,
so you're right there with them.
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And it's not always the
case in therapies, is it?
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Sonya Figueiredo: No.
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No, it's not.
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Yeah, it's it in a lot of therapies.
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It's, here's the tools.
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I'm going to tell is it therapy
is a lot of the times is sort of a
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mix between a mentor and a coach,
and normally it's like, yep, I
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can see where you're coming from.
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I think this tool will work.
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Go try that, or you will challenged
the person with my coaching practice.
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Depending on what the client wants,
because some corporate people, all
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they want is to be mentored and
I'll switch it up and I'll do that.
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But in order for things
to work consistently, it
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is walking alongside them.
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I steer them, I walk with them, and
they come to their own conclusions.
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I'll challenge them though,
and that's the difference.
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Yeah.
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Russell Newton: you said your, your health
scare, your AFib occurred 18 months ago.
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Is that correct?
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And you.
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So from recovering from that and in
that timeframe you've made, did you
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have exposure to NLP and the work before
that or has all that happened since?
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Sonya Figueiredo: Great question.
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It pretty much has happened in
the last 18 months, but a lot
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of what I do that's pretty in.
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Thank you.
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I, I threw myself into it.
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It was, you know, you get to a point for
me when I was lying in the hospital, I
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was like, well, what's going to happen?
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You know, do I want to live where
I'm managing my condition or
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do I want to live fully and not
have to worry about my condition?
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Because for about two months afterwards,
you know, I was listening to.
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I read all the research.
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I listened to audio books.
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I looked at the science base
behind natural fibrillation because
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it's happening a lot earlier now.
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Pe uh, young people will get it as
early as 30, whereas it used to be
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condition of people in their eighties.
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Russell Newton: Oh,
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Sonya Figueiredo: and because we all
apparently, and now don't quote me
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on this, but it's something scary.
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Like 90% of people by the time
you're 80, will get that condition.
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But what's happening now, because we
are in a society when no one gets rest,
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and what do I mean by no one gets rest?
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Well, you know, we're
always on our phones.
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We've always got blue light around us.
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We are not interacting and
slowing down like we used to.
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You know how.
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10, 15 years ago, we would go and sit
at a coffee shop and have a leisurely
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coffee with a friend, and it would
maybe go for an hour or two hours.
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Now the interaction is done behind
a screen mostly, and so you go
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from the workplace onto your phone
and you're sitting in your bed and
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late at night, 11 o'clock at night.
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Still scrolling.
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So our nervous system is not resting.
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And what they're finding
is actual fibrillation is
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starting at an earlier age.
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And there's been quite a few cases at 30.
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So when I was going through
that long story, I apologize.
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Um, it just got me thinking that things
had to change 'cause I was getting
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myself into a real anxious state and you
know, I was getting quite morbid with my
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thoughts and it was like, no, hang on.
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I have to change this.
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And that's when I had to, I realized
like, okay, if I am going to do the work
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on myself and I'm going to get my center
where it needs to be, and I've gotta tell
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you it's the strongest it's ever been.
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I've sadly, I've lost some friends along
the way, and that's purely because I'm
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not the person they felt safe with.
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And when I, when I say not safe with,
when you get your friendship group,
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you normally gravitate to people for a
reason, and mostly that is because you
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feel comfortable and familiar with them.
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And now this Sonya shows up a lot
stronger and it's, Sonya won't
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hesitate in saying something.
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And so, you know, I've lo I've,
I've lost people along the way.
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But what I'm doing now is I'm attracting,
attracting like-minded people,
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which is a lovely journey in itself.
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But yes.
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So 18 months, that's, that's been my
journey and I've, uh, worked hard at
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getting the certifications that I've got.
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I'm still learning though, you.
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I've got in most probably until
around January next year until
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I've gone as far as I want to go.
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But every time I see something
else, I'm going, yes, I can
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bring that into my practice.
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Let me learn it.
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Russell Newton: from your website
you mentioned, and I'm just gonna
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read from the website, you're
fostering, helping individuals or
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women specifically in fostering deeper
connections in all facets of life.
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Paving the way for improved
relationships and purpose driven living.
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Is purpose the.
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The, the thing you start with or
the thing you move to, or is it just
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they're, they're all equal and you
work on them at the same, like, can you
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clear up some of that for me please?
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Yes,
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Sonya Figueiredo: sure.
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Absolutely.
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Like when I start with a client, of
course I'm going to ask them their why.
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So at the base level, it, it is about
their purpose, what their why is.
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But 90% of the time I'll
find that why when they first
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came is not their actual why.
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And what I mean by that is people
will come with safe problems.
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People will come with their external,
what they project to the world, because
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that feels safe to them, but they
won't show up with their internal
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problems and what's really going on.
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All the things that they, they push.
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Deep down or to the background and
they don't want to address them.
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So what I like to do is work on their
relationship with themselves first,
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and once their relationship with,
they bring themselves to a place of
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trust because it's actually scary
to think that a lot of people who do
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search out coaching or counseling.
330
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Really do not have a relationship
of trust with themselves.
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Everything has been done on unconscious
living and they're running on autopilot,
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and if they're dismissing something,
it's because it's bringing something
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up on the in themselves and they're not
trusting what they will do with that.
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So that's what I bring them back.
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I bring them back to trust of
self in their relationships.
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And then of course that will pivot
out to their external relationships.
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And then from there, the why or
the purpose that they started
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off with is more than often than
not, not what it ends up with.
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Russell Newton: Very good.
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I hadn't.
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I've never heard it expressed
that way, but I, I appreciate
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that because that is exactly true.
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What, as you say, what their why is, um.
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We challenge our listeners regularly
through the podcast on understanding your
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why, your purpose, your your mission,
what, however you wanna term term it.
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Um, but to sit down with someone fresh
and try to get to that in one, in one
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conversation is, uh, pretty difficult,
I imagine for them as well as for you.
348
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Sonya Figueiredo: It absolutely is.
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You know, some people think it's just, uh,
let me do one session and I'm good to go.
350
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Uh, it doesn't work that way.
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You know, of course we, I can do a
hyper session of 90 minutes, but I
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can guarantee you they'll come back.
353
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So,
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and she's fun.
355
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Go on.
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Sorry.
357
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No, I was just thinking actually
as I'm talking and you, I know your
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listeners are predominantly men.
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Uh.
360
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Male energy and female energy
is coming to mind right now.
361
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And I don't know if you know a
lot about male energy and female
362
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energy and what the difference is.
363
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No,
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Russell Newton: no, not formally, no.
365
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Sonya Figueiredo: Okay.
366
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So we, we are all born with ma
masculine and feminine energy.
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Feminine energy is
basically based on chaos.
368
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And so we're very chaotic and
we are really good at doing a
369
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lot of things all at one time.
370
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Doesn't necessarily mean we're good
at doing it, but we can do a lot.
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Men come from a place of center, so if
you think of an ocean where the water
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is choppy and constantly moving, and
then a ship on top of the ocean, so
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it's the feminine and the masculine.
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Russell Newton: Okay, great.
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And
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Sonya Figueiredo: sometimes, yeah,
and sometimes when we become unstuck
377
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or for leaders, you know, constantly
in that steady state, they need a
378
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:12,570
little bit of that feminine mix up to
be the leader that comes into being.
379
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That shows up very differently, leads
very differently, and can relate to.
380
00:25:20,610 --> 00:25:23,730
Everyone that they work with
in, in their leadership role.
381
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Russell Newton: Great.
382
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:26,580
Thank you.
383
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Um,
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you, you talked about briefly, uh,
anchoring, is it something that
385
00:25:33,027 --> 00:25:37,467
can be self-learn or, or are there
some things that can be picked up?
386
00:25:37,467 --> 00:25:42,057
Do you offer anything, a self-study
course or a self-improvement information?
387
00:25:43,392 --> 00:25:44,202
Sonya Figueiredo: Sure, absolutely.
388
00:25:44,622 --> 00:25:52,152
Um, there is a 10 week course that can
be done and it's sent weekly, and it is a
389
00:25:52,152 --> 00:26:01,482
mixture of, uh, self-based, uh, exercises,
meditation, a whole mixture of things.
390
00:26:03,537 --> 00:26:09,417
The, what I normally do ask though
is during those 10 weeks, I will
391
00:26:09,477 --> 00:26:15,717
have two, one-on-one sessions with
the client just to check in, see
392
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how they're going, what they need.
393
00:26:19,647 --> 00:26:21,777
But, uh, there is that, that option there.
394
00:26:21,777 --> 00:26:23,167
But you know, it depends on what the.
395
00:26:24,057 --> 00:26:28,977
Client is actually after some people
go, well, I don't have time for
396
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one-on-ones, and I just gimme the course.
397
00:26:31,977 --> 00:26:34,917
Like, yeah, I'll just give
you the course and that works.
398
00:26:35,547 --> 00:26:39,027
And it, you know, it's what somebody
needs at that point in time.
399
00:26:39,087 --> 00:26:39,207
Mm-hmm.
400
00:26:39,927 --> 00:26:43,737
What, what I do find is ultimately
after the one-on-ones, a lot, lot
401
00:26:43,737 --> 00:26:47,667
of them will come back and circle
back around, particularly if they
402
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:51,897
want to go a bit further because
I do have a, uh, science based.
403
00:26:54,087 --> 00:26:57,207
Assessment that will look at it.
404
00:26:57,267 --> 00:27:04,497
It, it's a series of 72 questions,
and it comes up with their prominent
405
00:27:05,187 --> 00:27:08,282
personality, but not only their
personality, also their trait.
406
00:27:09,852 --> 00:27:14,562
And when that assessment comes back and
we work and go through what it's showing
407
00:27:14,562 --> 00:27:20,892
up, what you'll find there, or what I
find there is that ultimately to get
408
00:27:20,892 --> 00:27:28,722
back into that balance state, it can take
around three sessions of one-on-ones.
409
00:27:28,962 --> 00:27:32,442
So really depends on
what the client is after.
410
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:35,442
I'm not into a one thing fits all.
411
00:27:35,982 --> 00:27:37,032
It's all tailored.
412
00:27:38,832 --> 00:27:39,252
Russell Newton: Very good.
413
00:27:39,612 --> 00:27:42,942
And you do this, uh, remotely
for anybody, not just people that
414
00:27:42,942 --> 00:27:45,072
are able to visit you in person.
415
00:27:46,842 --> 00:27:47,742
Sonya Figueiredo: That's right, yes.
416
00:27:47,742 --> 00:27:48,522
So Zoom.
417
00:27:48,672 --> 00:27:50,742
Zoom is my friend, you know, a bobblehead.
418
00:27:52,362 --> 00:27:55,752
Russell Newton: It's opened up the
whole world in a lot, in a of good ways.
419
00:27:56,382 --> 00:27:57,432
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, absolutely has.
420
00:27:57,432 --> 00:27:59,472
I mean, obviously I'm based in Australia.
421
00:27:59,892 --> 00:28:03,402
I have clients in the US so
I'm used to getting up at, you
422
00:28:03,402 --> 00:28:05,022
know, 3:00 AM in the morning.
423
00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:05,322
Mm-hmm.
424
00:28:05,502 --> 00:28:07,092
Um, so.
425
00:28:08,502 --> 00:28:12,762
It is, you know, this is, for me,
coaching is a lifestyle choice.
426
00:28:13,242 --> 00:28:16,272
I don't necessarily have
a typical nine to five.
427
00:28:16,272 --> 00:28:17,742
I'll pick my hours.
428
00:28:18,252 --> 00:28:23,292
You know, one-on-ones in person are
brilliant, but it's not necessary these
429
00:28:23,292 --> 00:28:25,452
days because of the technology we have.
430
00:28:28,812 --> 00:28:36,582
Russell Newton: I suspect that you are
as busy now in your entrepreneurial.
431
00:28:36,927 --> 00:28:40,287
Work and, and the company that you've
started and, and this, especially with
432
00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:45,237
your studies over the past 18 months,
you're putting in as many hours now as
433
00:28:45,237 --> 00:28:51,117
you were before in your procurement,
uh, professional process, are you not?
434
00:28:51,117 --> 00:28:51,147
I,
435
00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:54,797
Can you compare the before and
after and how it's, it's not
436
00:28:54,797 --> 00:28:56,657
the amount of work, obviously.
437
00:28:59,072 --> 00:28:59,432
Sonya Figueiredo: Right.
438
00:28:59,522 --> 00:29:00,512
That's a good question.
439
00:29:02,342 --> 00:29:07,172
I'm sure you and your listeners
have heard about the masks we wear.
440
00:29:08,642 --> 00:29:10,412
So for me,
441
00:29:13,262 --> 00:29:14,792
no, you just hit something here.
442
00:29:15,152 --> 00:29:20,012
Um Oh, wearing a mask was hard work.
443
00:29:20,072 --> 00:29:21,212
It is hard work.
444
00:29:21,242 --> 00:29:25,802
It's tiring because you're
always on a level of.
445
00:29:27,527 --> 00:29:29,177
Protection, shall we say.
446
00:29:29,777 --> 00:29:32,807
You know, you wear a mask
because you want to keep safe.
447
00:29:32,807 --> 00:29:37,727
You're wearing a mask because you
either want somebody to see that you
448
00:29:37,727 --> 00:29:42,047
are professional and you're always
running in that professional mode,
449
00:29:42,437 --> 00:29:46,097
or you are wearing a mask because you
don't want people to come too close
450
00:29:46,097 --> 00:29:48,257
to you, whether you know it or not.
451
00:29:48,647 --> 00:29:51,587
So it's, it's, it's a safety
mechanism that we wear.
452
00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:54,197
When I was in my.
453
00:29:54,842 --> 00:29:56,762
Past life, shall we say.
454
00:29:57,062 --> 00:29:58,742
I was always wearing a mask.
455
00:29:58,742 --> 00:30:01,892
I would even wear a mask with my friends.
456
00:30:02,282 --> 00:30:08,642
I used to pride myself as a
being a leader who, my team knew
457
00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:10,982
me, but they didn't know me.
458
00:30:11,822 --> 00:30:16,082
So I would always come
to work, put on my suit.
459
00:30:16,142 --> 00:30:18,212
There was my armor switched on.
460
00:30:18,212 --> 00:30:18,567
I would go.
461
00:30:20,522 --> 00:30:24,122
In my friendship life because
I had to find that trust
462
00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:27,452
in myself, even my friends.
463
00:30:28,502 --> 00:30:34,652
And I was driving, uh, only 12 months
ago with my daughter in the car, and we
464
00:30:34,652 --> 00:30:40,502
were having a conversation and sometimes
my mind works quirky, like I'll always
465
00:30:40,502 --> 00:30:44,942
work out or, okay, this age, so that
means I've got maybe 30, 35 years left.
466
00:30:45,962 --> 00:30:49,412
That's really sad, but that's
how my mind used to work.
467
00:30:50,012 --> 00:30:52,892
And I was saying, you know, I was
just having this thought about
468
00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:57,482
who would come to my funeral
and I'm going, oh my goodness.
469
00:30:57,512 --> 00:31:00,002
I don't really have that many friends.
470
00:31:00,002 --> 00:31:04,082
And not that that didn't worry me,
but it was like, hang on, this is
471
00:31:04,082 --> 00:31:08,162
my personality, but these are the
only people that I could think of.
472
00:31:09,422 --> 00:31:13,202
And I just happened to mention
it to my daughter who's in her.
473
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:18,497
Late twenties, and she was
like, mom, no one knows you.
474
00:31:18,497 --> 00:31:19,967
And I'm going, what do you mean?
475
00:31:20,297 --> 00:31:21,407
She goes, come on mom.
476
00:31:22,037 --> 00:31:25,757
You know, you presented a certain
way even with your friends.
477
00:31:26,447 --> 00:31:29,147
You know, you, you never, you
have the deep conversations
478
00:31:29,147 --> 00:31:31,587
with them, but they're the deep
conversations with them, not with you.
479
00:31:32,942 --> 00:31:34,952
And so that's what I talk about a mask.
480
00:31:35,132 --> 00:31:36,782
So it, it's exhausting.
481
00:31:37,352 --> 00:31:41,582
Whereas now ask me anything,
you know, I'll be respectful.
482
00:31:41,582 --> 00:31:45,422
If, if it's something that I feel
that you know is not relevant,
483
00:31:45,422 --> 00:31:46,682
I'll certainly tell you that.
484
00:31:46,682 --> 00:31:48,152
But hey, bring it on.
485
00:31:48,212 --> 00:31:48,812
Ask me.
486
00:31:49,442 --> 00:31:51,332
And so it's not tiring anymore.
487
00:31:53,927 --> 00:31:56,102
Russell Newton: That's, that's
very strong and that, uh.
488
00:31:57,572 --> 00:31:59,822
That could be an entire episode in itself.
489
00:31:59,822 --> 00:32:02,552
And we have those masks
we don't even know about.
490
00:32:02,552 --> 00:32:07,832
I mean, we're almost taught to, in,
in our society, I think to go to work
491
00:32:07,832 --> 00:32:09,362
and present yourself in some way.
492
00:32:09,722 --> 00:32:15,452
And then when you're out socially,
you present yourself one way.
493
00:32:15,452 --> 00:32:17,882
And when you're with your kids,
you present yourself in another
494
00:32:17,882 --> 00:32:19,352
way or their friends maybe.
495
00:32:21,512 --> 00:32:23,642
And, and there's some
viability maybe to that.
496
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,892
But yeah, it, it is just
a bunch of different.
497
00:32:26,447 --> 00:32:28,697
Fronts that we have to
put on and maintain.
498
00:32:29,357 --> 00:32:33,227
When you started talking about masks, it
reminded me of the, the saying about, uh,
499
00:32:33,227 --> 00:32:37,967
how difficult it is to, to not be truthful
in conversations, because you always have
500
00:32:37,967 --> 00:32:42,167
to remember, what did I say last time
and what, what fronts am I putting on?
501
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:46,397
What am I, how am I supposed to react in
this situation instead of as you are now,
502
00:32:46,607 --> 00:32:49,397
just, I don't have to remember anything.
503
00:32:49,397 --> 00:32:53,027
I just am who I am and, and life.
504
00:32:53,567 --> 00:32:57,227
Is handled as it as I wish to handle
it now instead of it becoming some
505
00:32:57,227 --> 00:32:59,507
overwhelming process that it was before.
506
00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:01,847
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, 100%.
507
00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:05,867
And as I said to you, you know, if,
if I don't think the question is a
508
00:33:06,257 --> 00:33:08,117
appropriate, I'll certainly say that.
509
00:33:08,117 --> 00:33:12,767
Whereas I used to dance around
it, you know, it's, it's what
510
00:33:12,767 --> 00:33:14,417
I call political correctness.
511
00:33:14,417 --> 00:33:20,087
And political correctness has a
place particularly in business, but.
512
00:33:20,747 --> 00:33:25,847
Getting the business done is all
about the rapport you build and the
513
00:33:25,847 --> 00:33:28,517
trust that you build with a person.
514
00:33:29,177 --> 00:33:34,667
And if you can't come from a position
where you can answer something that
515
00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:40,277
is centered and grounded and truthful
to you, then it's not going to work.
516
00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:43,187
It works for a time, but
it doesn't work forever.
517
00:33:45,827 --> 00:33:47,867
Russell Newton: I, I would like
you to make a distinction for
518
00:33:47,867 --> 00:33:49,187
us, for, for listeners that.
519
00:33:49,847 --> 00:33:54,797
Are dealing, uh, with, with issues
in their personal development process
520
00:33:54,797 --> 00:33:58,787
because it's an, it's an important thing
to know when it's some, and we alluded
521
00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:03,407
to this earlier, when it's something
that I can self-treat or I can not
522
00:34:03,407 --> 00:34:06,827
diagnose, but I can read something on
it, I can learn about it myself, and I
523
00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:08,777
can take care of those things versus.
524
00:34:09,737 --> 00:34:13,516
When it's time to seek
actual professional help.
525
00:34:13,817 --> 00:34:16,967
And there's always stigmas associated
really with both, but more with, you
526
00:34:16,967 --> 00:34:21,917
know, going somewhere I'm seeing a
therapist for some reason, uh, has a
527
00:34:21,917 --> 00:34:23,567
negative connotation to a lot of people.
528
00:34:25,757 --> 00:34:27,257
Can you clear up some issues there?
529
00:34:27,286 --> 00:34:32,237
If an individual is really struggling,
how, what kind of advice would you give
530
00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:37,456
them to determine whether they sh what
path they should take to, to find a
531
00:34:37,456 --> 00:34:38,927
room for improvement in their lives?
532
00:34:40,472 --> 00:34:44,132
Sonya Figueiredo: Okay, firstly,
let's, uh, change the stigma.
533
00:34:45,572 --> 00:34:52,262
Call it a mentor, particularly for
professional men and women mentors feels
534
00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:55,081
safe and it has a different perspective.
535
00:34:56,492 --> 00:35:01,292
The difference between a mentor
and as coaches, we won't just
536
00:35:01,322 --> 00:35:03,722
say, you know, do this, do that.
537
00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:07,517
We are going to help you get to where
you need to go by helping yourself first.
538
00:35:09,587 --> 00:35:14,207
You'll wake up if you are staying
waking up at 3:00 AM every morning
539
00:35:14,207 --> 00:35:19,097
and, and staying awake for several
hours if you are finding that you are
540
00:35:19,097 --> 00:35:21,647
disconnecting from your relationships.
541
00:35:21,647 --> 00:35:28,277
And what I mean by that is if you are
sitting, um, across the table from your
542
00:35:28,277 --> 00:35:33,287
partner and you are on your phone or
they ask a question and you are not.
543
00:35:34,262 --> 00:35:40,772
Leaning in and listening to them
intently and making it a reciprocal
544
00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:43,352
two-way conversation flow.
545
00:35:43,742 --> 00:35:50,342
You're probably disconnected if something
is coming up for you and you keep pushing
546
00:35:50,342 --> 00:35:53,252
it down or you make yourself busy.
547
00:35:53,912 --> 00:35:56,582
The busiest people are
generally the people.
548
00:35:57,302 --> 00:36:02,132
Who are running from something, and I'm
not talking about being busy at work.
549
00:36:02,132 --> 00:36:06,452
I'm talking about being really
busy in all aspects of your life.
550
00:36:09,242 --> 00:36:14,042
I can't give you the golden answer
for that, but you'll know if
551
00:36:14,042 --> 00:36:21,152
you are constantly fighting and
avoiding something, the chances are.
552
00:36:21,602 --> 00:36:23,012
It's time to address it.
553
00:36:23,012 --> 00:36:24,902
And yes, you can read the books.
554
00:36:24,902 --> 00:36:29,432
Yes, your YouTube is the most
wonderful tool that you can get
555
00:36:29,432 --> 00:36:30,902
on and you can look at things.
556
00:36:30,902 --> 00:36:32,462
And we all have Google Doctor.
557
00:36:32,942 --> 00:36:36,572
Um, you've got those available to us.
558
00:36:36,572 --> 00:36:38,012
Even chat, GTP.
559
00:36:38,012 --> 00:36:45,572
It's a, it's amazing what chat GTP
will come up with these days, but it
560
00:36:45,572 --> 00:36:47,547
will only address your problem so far.
561
00:36:49,477 --> 00:36:53,702
Yeah, and I've gotta tell you,
even coaches have coaches.
562
00:36:54,362 --> 00:36:57,272
I have several coaches that
I work with for myself.
563
00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:57,962
Yeah.
564
00:36:57,992 --> 00:37:04,112
So you can go so far without a coach, but
there comes a point in your time that I'm
565
00:37:04,112 --> 00:37:06,707
going, Hey, what are you losing out on?
566
00:37:06,707 --> 00:37:08,162
You know, what's it going to cost you?
567
00:37:08,162 --> 00:37:10,922
Maybe one session to see if
it's going to work for you.
568
00:37:12,227 --> 00:37:12,797
You know what?
569
00:37:12,797 --> 00:37:17,417
What is the cost of not trying it
versus what is the cost for you?
570
00:37:17,807 --> 00:37:23,687
If you try it and it works and you
know you're seeing my energy, imagine
571
00:37:23,687 --> 00:37:29,447
bringing this energy in whatever
aspect of your life each and every
572
00:37:29,447 --> 00:37:31,307
day, and it doesn't feel hard anymore.
573
00:37:33,377 --> 00:37:35,867
Russell Newton: Your first statement,
I think, is very powerful There.
574
00:37:38,027 --> 00:37:40,547
People brag about, yeah, I found a mentor.
575
00:37:40,547 --> 00:37:44,147
I'm working with a mentor, or I
have a, I hired a personal coach.
576
00:37:44,537 --> 00:37:48,197
But very seldom would someone come out
and say, I'm going to see a therapist.
577
00:37:48,197 --> 00:37:53,147
And there's no reason for that,
except for societal norms or whatever
578
00:37:53,147 --> 00:37:54,767
we wanna put onto it as a stigma.
579
00:37:54,977 --> 00:37:56,447
So I think it's a fantastic point.
580
00:37:57,587 --> 00:37:59,207
Thank you for, for putting it that way.
581
00:38:00,947 --> 00:38:05,327
I know you work with your daughter, uh,
she seems to be pretty insightful just
582
00:38:05,327 --> 00:38:09,377
from this, the one story you shared with
us about she understood some things about
583
00:38:09,377 --> 00:38:15,347
yourself that you hadn't recognized yet,
but you work with her in some aspects.
584
00:38:15,347 --> 00:38:17,867
You give speeches together and talk
about generational differences.
585
00:38:17,867 --> 00:38:19,067
Can you tell us a little bit about that?
586
00:38:19,682 --> 00:38:23,012
Relationship that, that working
process, what you do with her?
587
00:38:24,752 --> 00:38:25,322
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, sure.
588
00:38:25,832 --> 00:38:28,622
Um, you can look her up.
589
00:38:28,622 --> 00:38:33,752
She was, uh, so I, I'm based in
Canberra, so she was the, uh,
590
00:38:33,992 --> 00:38:39,512
Canberra representative of, uh,
younger Strain of the year last year.
591
00:38:39,632 --> 00:38:40,832
She's pretty phenomenal.
592
00:38:41,822 --> 00:38:42,032
Yes.
593
00:38:42,032 --> 00:38:45,987
And, uh, both, both my kids are actually,
my son is a almost a natural born.
594
00:38:47,717 --> 00:38:48,407
Coach.
595
00:38:48,797 --> 00:38:52,817
He, he works in the filming
industry and he's got great rapport.
596
00:38:52,817 --> 00:39:01,997
But with my daughter and I, we have
started to be invited to do, uh,
597
00:39:02,117 --> 00:39:05,747
speaking gigs, if you wanna call it that.
598
00:39:06,287 --> 00:39:08,057
And we talk about,
599
00:39:10,307 --> 00:39:12,227
uh, intergenerational.
600
00:39:12,992 --> 00:39:18,482
Topics and uh, you know, because
the problems she faces and the
601
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:22,982
problems that I face, the reality
is they're not that much different.
602
00:39:23,012 --> 00:39:23,102
Mm-hmm.
603
00:39:23,552 --> 00:39:27,062
So we just give a generational
perspective on what that looks like.
604
00:39:28,757 --> 00:39:30,257
It's pretty phenomenal actually.
605
00:39:30,257 --> 00:39:35,987
We we're getting some great feedback just
to see the difference and, and obviously
606
00:39:35,987 --> 00:39:41,477
we, we don't hide the mother-daughter
dynamic, you know, we, uh, we, we
607
00:39:41,477 --> 00:39:44,132
show it Watts and all and I think I.
608
00:39:45,092 --> 00:39:49,802
I have most probably been a
coach long before I was a coach.
609
00:39:50,282 --> 00:39:51,542
Um, I've always,
610
00:39:51,547 --> 00:39:51,747
Russell Newton: yeah,
611
00:39:51,927 --> 00:39:54,602
Sonya Figueiredo: always looked at
things a little bit differently, and
612
00:39:54,602 --> 00:40:00,992
that may be because of the line of
work that I had done because strategy.
613
00:40:02,537 --> 00:40:07,667
Uh, was, I had to always look at things
from a strategy strategic lens, which
614
00:40:07,667 --> 00:40:12,497
meant I didn't just look at one side,
you know, everything is polarized.
615
00:40:12,497 --> 00:40:17,117
You know, for instance, love, hate,
you know, uh, grief, happiness.
616
00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:21,287
So I would never actually just look
at it from, from one direction, and
617
00:40:21,287 --> 00:40:23,927
that's basically how my children.
618
00:40:24,467 --> 00:40:28,667
Having brought up as well, don't just look
at what the problem is because there's
619
00:40:28,667 --> 00:40:30,407
always something behind it driving it.
620
00:40:30,482 --> 00:40:30,902
Russell Newton: Mm-hmm.
621
00:40:32,327 --> 00:40:32,837
Very good.
622
00:40:33,137 --> 00:40:33,407
Yes.
623
00:40:33,407 --> 00:40:33,797
Thank you.
624
00:40:35,387 --> 00:40:40,367
What, uh, for listeners that
are interested in this, uh, line
625
00:40:40,367 --> 00:40:44,717
of processing, NLP in general
coaching, mentoring, you've read,
626
00:40:48,227 --> 00:40:49,157
I'm, I'm wagering.
627
00:40:49,157 --> 00:40:51,317
You've read a lot of books in
the last year and a half, but I'm
628
00:40:51,317 --> 00:40:53,447
wagering You've read just as many.
629
00:40:54,167 --> 00:40:58,367
Uh, over the course of your life, you,
you sound like an eternal learner to me.
630
00:40:58,757 --> 00:41:01,877
Uh, I imagine you're always looking
to improve and find ways to go.
631
00:41:02,177 --> 00:41:06,557
In your experience, do you have three
or four books that you could recommend?
632
00:41:06,617 --> 00:41:09,407
What, what would be top of your
list if someone was looking for
633
00:41:09,407 --> 00:41:12,167
further information about any of
the topics that we've talked about?
634
00:41:15,227 --> 00:41:15,677
Sonya Figueiredo: Oh.
635
00:41:16,337 --> 00:41:17,297
Now you've got me.
636
00:41:17,447 --> 00:41:20,627
Let me just get out my audible it.
637
00:41:20,627 --> 00:41:23,207
It's funny, you know, I do read
a lot of books and if you saw
638
00:41:23,207 --> 00:41:25,157
my audible list, oh my goodness.
639
00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:27,767
Um, but they're constantly changing.
640
00:41:27,767 --> 00:41:36,227
I think the very first one that I always
went back to was, um, or Atomic Habits.
641
00:41:36,482 --> 00:41:36,572
Hmm.
642
00:41:37,827 --> 00:41:38,047
Russell Newton: Yes.
643
00:41:38,047 --> 00:41:38,057
Yeah.
644
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:38,967
James Clearance
645
00:41:39,137 --> 00:41:39,487
Sonya Figueiredo: Clear?
646
00:41:39,692 --> 00:41:40,412
Yes.
647
00:41:40,412 --> 00:41:40,922
Yeah.
648
00:41:41,162 --> 00:41:45,422
Um, that was, was the first
book that I always did go to.
649
00:41:46,202 --> 00:41:46,952
Um,
650
00:41:50,852 --> 00:41:51,332
I'm sorry.
651
00:41:51,332 --> 00:41:53,102
You know, I should know this off by heart.
652
00:41:53,132 --> 00:41:55,052
Diary of the CEO is always a good one.
653
00:41:55,052 --> 00:41:57,182
In fact, I love those podcasts as well.
654
00:41:57,662 --> 00:42:05,192
Um, I, I find those insightful and
it transcends both male and female.
655
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:06,032
Um.
656
00:42:09,362 --> 00:42:11,312
Unlocking your boundaries.
657
00:42:12,122 --> 00:42:15,482
And that's by Faith Harper.
658
00:42:16,472 --> 00:42:16,652
Russell Newton: Hmm.
659
00:42:16,712 --> 00:42:17,467
I'm not familiar with that one.
660
00:42:17,467 --> 00:42:17,642
Not familiar with that one.
661
00:42:18,152 --> 00:42:18,452
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah.
662
00:42:18,452 --> 00:42:23,012
It's, it's, um, building your
relationships through, through yourself.
663
00:42:23,552 --> 00:42:25,922
A lot of people don't
understand boundaries.
664
00:42:25,922 --> 00:42:27,962
In fact, we always think it's a.
665
00:42:29,642 --> 00:42:33,752
Well, what, let's just say what
we think it is and what it truly
666
00:42:33,752 --> 00:42:35,612
is, is very, very different.
667
00:42:35,612 --> 00:42:35,702
Mm-hmm.
668
00:42:35,942 --> 00:42:38,462
That just gives a different
perspective, not only with your
669
00:42:38,462 --> 00:42:42,002
relationships, but in your workplace.
670
00:42:43,022 --> 00:42:47,822
Even the relationship with yourself, if
you can understand that and start with
671
00:42:47,822 --> 00:42:54,032
reading that first, then you can go into
your leadership books and, um, your,
672
00:42:54,602 --> 00:42:57,542
you know, NLP books and everything else.
673
00:42:57,542 --> 00:43:01,352
But I, I would suggest go
look at that one first.
674
00:43:02,222 --> 00:43:03,332
Russell Newton: Locking your boundaries.
675
00:43:04,922 --> 00:43:05,612
Great, great.
676
00:43:05,612 --> 00:43:09,032
Thanks for those, uh, some I'm
familiar with and one a new one to
677
00:43:09,032 --> 00:43:11,042
me that I'll have to add to my list.
678
00:43:13,682 --> 00:43:14,522
We're getting close to the end.
679
00:43:14,522 --> 00:43:17,762
I'll be careful of your time here,
but I have two questions that, uh,
680
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:22,022
I always propose at the end and,
and I'll give them both to you and
681
00:43:22,022 --> 00:43:24,872
let you close out the podcast with
answers to these however you wish.
682
00:43:26,132 --> 00:43:31,802
One is, do you have a habit stacked during
a day of things that you always adhere to?
683
00:43:31,882 --> 00:43:38,692
And a second part, um, I'm sure I missed
a question that should have been asked,
684
00:43:38,692 --> 00:43:42,742
and I'm, I imagine listeners sit here,
say, ask her this, ask her this, or you
685
00:43:42,742 --> 00:43:47,062
feel that there's a piece of information
that I, I should have asked about If you
686
00:43:47,062 --> 00:43:50,302
have any final piece of, um, information.
687
00:43:50,872 --> 00:43:54,292
A piece of advice, anything that you'd
like to share with the listeners,
688
00:43:54,622 --> 00:43:59,662
uh, please take as much time as you'd
like to, to, to put that out there.
689
00:43:59,712 --> 00:44:00,432
Sonya Figueiredo: All right, great.
690
00:44:00,432 --> 00:44:00,822
Thank you.
691
00:44:01,302 --> 00:44:01,842
All right.
692
00:44:01,842 --> 00:44:04,242
Let me tell you my morning routine.
693
00:44:04,242 --> 00:44:09,792
Firstly, don't reach for your phone
when you wake up in the morning.
694
00:44:09,792 --> 00:44:11,742
Make yourself, make it a ritual.
695
00:44:11,742 --> 00:44:15,402
Make yourself a cup of coffee
or a cup of tea, whatever it
696
00:44:15,402 --> 00:44:17,352
is that you would normally do.
697
00:44:17,352 --> 00:44:22,002
But don't go on the devices because
your body actually needs to come
698
00:44:22,002 --> 00:44:24,792
back to a place of center after rest.
699
00:44:26,052 --> 00:44:29,202
It doesn't need to be wired
and switched on straight away.
700
00:44:29,202 --> 00:44:33,702
So get up and start your day
intentionally, you know, be that as
701
00:44:33,702 --> 00:44:36,642
I said, you know, you walk into the
kitchen, make yourself a cup of tea, be
702
00:44:36,642 --> 00:44:41,982
reflective, think about what your day's
going to look like, then go maybe have,
703
00:44:41,982 --> 00:44:44,592
have your shower or, or do a workout.
704
00:44:44,952 --> 00:44:51,012
I like to start with a somatic release
and I'll, I'll do a somatic meditation.
705
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,732
And I will start my day off with that.
706
00:44:54,732 --> 00:44:59,952
And whatever comes up in the morning
during my meditation session, I
707
00:44:59,952 --> 00:45:03,012
will then sit and reflect on that.
708
00:45:04,182 --> 00:45:07,542
Journaling is a beautiful
practice, but I've gotta tell you,
709
00:45:07,542 --> 00:45:09,462
journaling has never worked for me.
710
00:45:09,882 --> 00:45:12,102
Uh, it's just I don't have the.
711
00:45:13,572 --> 00:45:17,022
The patience for it because I'm
constantly talking to myself.
712
00:45:17,022 --> 00:45:22,152
I'm so, you know, people who have
problems with addressing things.
713
00:45:22,572 --> 00:45:28,212
Journaling works the best, but, um, so
I, it's something I will always tell
714
00:45:28,242 --> 00:45:31,692
my clients to do if it works for them.
715
00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:37,122
What I find works for me actually is
just using the notes on my phone if
716
00:45:37,122 --> 00:45:39,042
I really need to get something out.
717
00:45:39,552 --> 00:45:41,952
I'll just, uh, speak it.
718
00:45:42,192 --> 00:45:45,492
Verbalization for me is the
best way to go, but that's how
719
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,082
I normally start my morning.
720
00:45:47,172 --> 00:45:50,982
And then throughout the day
I have two beautiful standard
721
00:45:50,982 --> 00:45:53,412
poodles and they need walking.
722
00:45:53,742 --> 00:45:56,922
So, uh, they are my exercise
buddies and we'll take them
723
00:45:56,922 --> 00:45:58,632
out for about a 40 minute walk.
724
00:45:58,632 --> 00:46:01,902
And again, that's just bringing
me back to center because if.
725
00:46:02,527 --> 00:46:08,767
Even when in my corporate life, I found
that, uh, walking meetings or walking
726
00:46:08,767 --> 00:46:13,687
around the lake because I wasn't very far
from the lake during my lunch hour is what
727
00:46:13,687 --> 00:46:16,237
I needed to bring myself back to self.
728
00:46:16,387 --> 00:46:16,597
Yes.
729
00:46:16,597 --> 00:46:19,657
And if I didn't do those things, I am man.
730
00:46:19,657 --> 00:46:23,557
And I was ready to curl up into a
fetal position by the end of the day.
731
00:46:23,917 --> 00:46:27,277
So I've kept those practices going,
you know, getting outside, doesn't
732
00:46:27,277 --> 00:46:32,257
matter how cold it is, you know,
um, we've got family in, in, um.
733
00:46:33,177 --> 00:46:34,077
Montreal.
734
00:46:34,077 --> 00:46:38,097
And you know, even when it's been minus
35 when I've been visiting, that's
735
00:46:38,097 --> 00:46:43,017
called, I still need to get outside for
a bit because, uh, we are not, we are
736
00:46:43,017 --> 00:46:45,267
not wired to be indoors all the time.
737
00:46:45,267 --> 00:46:46,377
That's when you get sick.
738
00:46:46,947 --> 00:46:49,077
So that's my, that's my ritual.
739
00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:50,127
Russell Newton: Okay.
740
00:46:50,667 --> 00:46:53,697
We, let me interrupt if I could,
before you get, before you answer
741
00:46:53,697 --> 00:46:54,747
the question I already asked.
742
00:46:54,747 --> 00:46:55,707
I apologize for that.
743
00:46:56,217 --> 00:47:00,627
Um, can you briefly tell us, what was it?
744
00:47:00,627 --> 00:47:02,247
Somatic meditation.
745
00:47:03,552 --> 00:47:05,112
Uh, that's a new one to me.
746
00:47:05,292 --> 00:47:07,422
Can you explain that in,
uh, 30 seconds or less?
747
00:47:08,652 --> 00:47:09,042
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, sure.
748
00:47:09,372 --> 00:47:12,342
Um, meditation and somatic.
749
00:47:13,317 --> 00:47:14,067
Meditation.
750
00:47:14,067 --> 00:47:17,877
It just works on a different
vibration, a different cellular level.
751
00:47:18,237 --> 00:47:23,217
So meditation is calming
of the mind being quiet.
752
00:47:23,667 --> 00:47:28,257
Somatic meditation works on various
things, like for instance, yesterday
753
00:47:28,257 --> 00:47:32,157
I did a trust meditation where I.
754
00:47:33,447 --> 00:47:39,537
Sat on a chair and allowed the
chair to cap cup and hold me, and
755
00:47:39,537 --> 00:47:41,547
it was based on a series of trust.
756
00:47:41,547 --> 00:47:48,327
So meditations is normally a calming
state with somatic meditation, you
757
00:47:48,327 --> 00:47:50,697
are addressing different aspects.
758
00:47:50,697 --> 00:47:52,797
So from trust to.
759
00:47:53,817 --> 00:48:00,297
Maybe you, uh, need to look at
your relationships with money, um,
760
00:48:00,297 --> 00:48:02,217
your relationships with family.
761
00:48:02,217 --> 00:48:06,417
So it's a whole different
set of, um, okay.
762
00:48:06,747 --> 00:48:07,917
Meditation that you do.
763
00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:09,417
Russell Newton: Okay.
764
00:48:09,987 --> 00:48:12,282
And one last thing before, yeah.
765
00:48:12,282 --> 00:48:12,597
Okay.
766
00:48:13,467 --> 00:48:19,617
Um, and I just wanted to point
out the, the benefit of, as you
767
00:48:19,617 --> 00:48:21,687
said, voicing something that.
768
00:48:22,107 --> 00:48:29,397
Needs to get out, I think was your phrase,
just the concept of, and some books
769
00:48:29,397 --> 00:48:32,757
we'll talk about, just write it down in
a, a worry journal or something else.
770
00:48:32,757 --> 00:48:40,227
But it the, just the process of getting
it in your mind verbalized or, or on
771
00:48:40,227 --> 00:48:43,827
paper through a, the mental process
and the physical process of writing
772
00:48:43,827 --> 00:48:45,657
it down has therapeutic benefits.
773
00:48:47,622 --> 00:48:48,432
Sonya Figueiredo: Yeah, a hundred percent.
774
00:48:48,432 --> 00:48:50,622
There's a, I think it's Harvard.
775
00:48:51,672 --> 00:48:52,722
There was a study done.
776
00:48:52,812 --> 00:49:01,032
It was 70% of people who have
had that process of journaling or
777
00:49:01,032 --> 00:49:08,712
verbalization actually are a lot calmer
and stable within their own self.
778
00:49:08,952 --> 00:49:12,402
Um, I'm writing a book, uh, at the moment.
779
00:49:12,822 --> 00:49:16,482
It's called Good Girl Be Gone,
it will be released in December.
780
00:49:16,542 --> 00:49:24,192
And that's based on my own memoirs, but it
has coaching in each section and what I'm
781
00:49:24,192 --> 00:49:26,532
finding is it's quite cathartic, I guess.
782
00:49:26,532 --> 00:49:28,602
My book is becoming my journal.
783
00:49:28,602 --> 00:49:30,192
It's amazing what comes up.
784
00:49:30,192 --> 00:49:33,457
So yeah, 70%, um, effective rate.
785
00:49:34,197 --> 00:49:35,487
Based on studies.
786
00:49:35,907 --> 00:49:38,127
So it's, it's definitely something.
787
00:49:38,127 --> 00:49:41,217
And if it's not by writing my pen,
as I said, you know, for me it's
788
00:49:41,217 --> 00:49:42,837
just speaking into my phone just
789
00:49:42,842 --> 00:49:43,287
Russell Newton: right, right.
790
00:49:43,287 --> 00:49:46,557
This, the same, the same concept
and the same benefit as well.
791
00:49:46,557 --> 00:49:47,127
Thank you for that.
792
00:49:47,127 --> 00:49:48,897
And I apologize for interrupting.
793
00:49:49,317 --> 00:49:51,777
I'll let you give it a final
closing thought here and then
794
00:49:51,777 --> 00:49:52,917
we'll sign off for our listeners.
795
00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:54,027
Sonya Figueiredo: All right.
796
00:49:54,087 --> 00:49:58,857
Closing thought to me is, and
this was based on a conversation I
797
00:49:58,857 --> 00:50:01,377
had yesterday with a male client.
798
00:50:01,887 --> 00:50:03,657
Uh, he asked me.
799
00:50:04,902 --> 00:50:11,922
How to talk to his partner because
she would just feel the need to, what
800
00:50:11,922 --> 00:50:16,122
I call data dumping, where, you know,
she just shows up and she'll, she'll
801
00:50:16,122 --> 00:50:17,892
just go, oh, I need to talk about this.
802
00:50:17,892 --> 00:50:19,842
And he is like, well, it has no concept.
803
00:50:19,902 --> 00:50:21,312
And he goes, do I need to fix it?
804
00:50:21,312 --> 00:50:22,632
No, you don't need to fix it.
805
00:50:22,962 --> 00:50:24,012
You just need to listen.
806
00:50:24,462 --> 00:50:30,942
But at the same time, what women
are looking for is for men to.
807
00:50:31,632 --> 00:50:34,422
Speak to and isn't that
what we're all looking for?
808
00:50:34,422 --> 00:50:40,872
We are looking for the conversation
at how whatever level it comes up at.
809
00:50:41,832 --> 00:50:45,852
A lot of men, and I'm just generalizing
here, because some women, when they
810
00:50:45,852 --> 00:50:50,232
don't feel safe, do it too, will
get to an answer really quickly
811
00:50:50,562 --> 00:50:51,852
and then just be done with it.
812
00:50:53,742 --> 00:50:55,122
Get uncomfortable.
813
00:50:55,827 --> 00:50:58,977
Get uncomfortable with your conversations.
814
00:50:59,487 --> 00:51:02,547
You know, it's not that the conversation's
uncomfortable, but you might be
815
00:51:02,547 --> 00:51:07,617
feeling a little uncomfortable when
you feel uncomfortable and you start
816
00:51:07,617 --> 00:51:12,237
allowing yourself to talk about
the things that is really going on.
817
00:51:13,107 --> 00:51:13,287
Mm-hmm.
818
00:51:14,037 --> 00:51:19,467
That's when the magic happens, not only
in your relationships, but in in yourself.
819
00:51:20,397 --> 00:51:21,507
So get uncomfortable.
820
00:51:23,397 --> 00:51:25,527
Russell Newton: Not much happens
within your comfort zone.
821
00:51:28,467 --> 00:51:29,577
Thank you very much, listeners.
822
00:51:29,577 --> 00:51:34,137
This is Ben, Sonya, Figaredo,
author, soon to be published, author,
823
00:51:34,227 --> 00:51:41,712
entrepreneur, uh, public speaker, so
many, uh, counselor, coach, mentor, so
824
00:51:41,712 --> 00:51:45,957
many labels, uh, to help describe you
and we greatly appreciate your time.
825
00:51:47,022 --> 00:51:49,962
If you're looking for further
information, you can check out
826
00:51:49,992 --> 00:51:53,712
Sonya Figueiredo coach.com.
827
00:51:53,832 --> 00:51:54,132
Right?
828
00:51:54,132 --> 00:51:57,072
I had a something over the.co.com
829
00:51:57,072 --> 00:52:03,132
there, as well as, uh, several, uh,
other social media outlets that you
830
00:52:03,132 --> 00:52:05,202
can find, uh, by searching I'm sure.
831
00:52:05,202 --> 00:52:07,002
Just for Sonya Figueiredo.
832
00:52:07,692 --> 00:52:08,682
Thank you for your time.
833
00:52:08,952 --> 00:52:12,492
Really appreciate you being
with us and hope you have great
834
00:52:12,492 --> 00:52:15,402
success with your upcoming book
and your continuing businesses.
835
00:52:16,497 --> 00:52:17,517
Sonya Figueiredo: Thank you Russell.
836
00:52:17,517 --> 00:52:22,977
I appreciate your time and please reach
out to me, uh, listeners, if you feel
837
00:52:22,977 --> 00:52:28,077
that my style of coaching, uh, works
for you, let's have a conversation.
838
00:52:29,487 --> 00:52:30,057
Russell Newton: Thank you very much.
839
00:52:30,057 --> 00:52:30,397
Thank you very much.
