Episode 27: Overthinkers Anonymous: Breaking Free from the Mental Maze
Welcome to The Mirror Project!
Hello and welcome to The Mirror Project! We are your hosts Christine and Alexandra, and we are so glad you are joining us! Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of thoughts, unable to move forward? You're not alone. Overthinking can be a paralyzing force, turning simple decisions into overwhelming dilemmas. In today's episode, we'll journey through personal stories, insightful quotes, and practical advice to help you break free from the cycle of overthinking. Join us as we explore the traps of overthinking and discover effective strategies to overcome it. Let's embrace the present moment together and find clarity amidst the chaos.
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The Story
Our discussion begins with a poignant quote from "The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse": The boy says, "I can't see a way through." The horse replies, "Can you see your next step?" The boy says, "Yes." The horse then advises, "Then just take that." We reflect on our initial reactions to this quote and delve into the deeper meaning behind the horse's advice. How does this simple yet profound exchange relate to the concept of overthinking? We explore how the advice to focus on the next step resonates in situations where the future seems uncertain, sharing personal experiences of feeling stuck and finding a way forward.
The Trap of Overthinking
In this segment, we define overthinking and identify common triggers that lead to this mental trap. We'll discuss the impact of overthinking on our mental well-being and daily life, sharing personal stories of how it has affected us. From indecision to anxiety, overthinking can manifest in various ways, often leading to missing opportunities. We'll differentiate between thoughtful consideration and overthinking, exploring the signs that indicate when we're caught in this cycle. Through relatable anecdotes, we highlight the challenges of overthinking and the importance of recognizing when it's happening.
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Strategies to Overcome Overthinking
Here, we offer practical strategies for overcoming overthinking, beginning with mindfulness as a tool to ground ourselves in the present moment. We'll emphasize the importance of taking things one step at a time, as advised in the earlier quote, and discuss how to cultivate a positive mindset to counteract overthinking. From speaking what you want to cognitive reframing, we'll share actionable steps that listeners can take to manage overthinking. We'll also share our personal methods for managing overthinking, highlighting the role mindfulness plays in maintaining mental clarity.
Closing Thoughts
As we wrap up today's meeting of Overthinkers Anonymous, we want to thank you for joining us on this exploratory conversation on overthinking and finding ways to navigate it. Remember, it is okay not to have all the answers at once. Sometimes, all we need is to take that next small step. We hope our conversation has offered some comfort and practical tips to help you embrace the present moment and ease the burden of overthinking. We are so grateful for your support and for being part of our community. If today's discussion resonated with you, we would absolutely love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Don't hesitate to reach out to us on our socials!
Next week, we're excited to welcome back a returning guest and my friend, Travaris, for an episode on "Breaking the Ice." We will dive into how to get to know people quickly through deep and meaningful questions, perfect for sparking genuine connections. It's an episode you won't want to miss! Until then, be gentle with yourselves, keep putting one foot in front of another, and remember that you are never alone on this journey.
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Join Us Next Time
As we close, don't forget to hit that like, subscribe, or follow button on your preferred platform. Keep the conversation going, and we'll catch you on the next episode!
Hello, and welcome to The Mirror Project.
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:We are your host, Christine.
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:Alexandra: And Alexandra,
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:Christine: And we are so
glad you're joining us.
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:Have you ever found yourself
caught in a whirlwind of
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:thoughts, unable to move forward?
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:You're not alone.
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:Overthinking can be a paralyzing
force, turning simple decisions
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:into overwhelming dilemmas.
10
:In today's episode, we'll journey through
personal stories, insightful quotes,
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:and practical advice to help you break
free from the cycle of overthinking.
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:Join us as we explore the
traps and discover effective
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:strategies to overcome it.
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:let's embrace the present moment together
and find clarity amidst the chaos.
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:Alexandra: Before we delve into today's
riveting topic, make sure to hit that
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:like subscribe or follow button on
your favorite listening platform.
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:Take a moment to do it now
before it slips your mind.
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:Trust us.
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:We're not getting started without you.
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:Let's make this journey together.
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:Christine: let's roll right into our
first topic of conversation today.
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:Feeling a little unprepared, but
I'm not going to overthink it.
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:And we're just going
to roll right through.
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:All
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:Alexandra: Very on
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:Christine: Yes, very on theme.
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:so this conversation all started many
months ago like a lot of things in
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:preparation for different topics for
our episodes, Alex, Alexandra and I send
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:each other different things that we find
on Instagram or Tik Tok or whatever.
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:And, I believe I came across this first
but it's a quote from the book, The
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:Horse, The Boy, The Fox, and the Mole.
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:and in the quote, the boy says,
I can't see a way through.
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:And the horse says, Can
you see your next step?
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:The boy says, yes, and the
horse says, then just take that.
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:And I remember how I felt when I first
saw that video, and I honestly love
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:all of the videos that I've seen.
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:And I just remember how I felt
when I first saw that, but
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:what's your first reaction,
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:Alexandra: I remember the video
somewhat, and it was kind of a
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:cool watercolor animated effect.
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:And it was very calming.
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:I just remember the way the boy sounded,
the voice that they did for the horse.
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:It was all very calming and it
was very much oh yeah, sometimes
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:it's really just that simple.
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:Christine: Yeah.
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:Alexandra: Then it's wow, we really
do get trapped in the I can see a way
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:through, but I'm just not willing to
take it because I want to think about
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:A and then Z and then, you know, back
to K and then maybe B and, you know,
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:but step is number C and we just, or
letter C and we don't want to take it.
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:So I think that's also an
important distinction and
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:that made me think about this.
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:It's, we can see a way out and
sometimes it's, we just don't want
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:to take that step, but it could be
as simple as, do you just take that
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:step?
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:Christine: I think also we, are inundated
so much and it all gets overwhelming and
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:I heard once this this other saying that
was so eloquently put and it's simple.
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:It's just existing is exhausting.
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:So that coupled with videos like this just
help me remember okay, this, sometimes
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:it just is all a little bit too much.
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:And we can build up taking that step.
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:But it's truly can just be very simple.
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:And if you just try and sometimes it's
hard to just block out all of the noise
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:and just focus on one step at a time.
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:I just felt when I first saw this,
it was a beautiful reminder about
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:how simple it can boil down to.
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:But I think as I've gotten older
and I feel like I've always
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:struggled with this is You build
something so big in your head.
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:So it was just a nice reminder.
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:Alexandra: what would you say
is the significance of the
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:horse's advice to the boy then?
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:Christine: I think it's it's quite simple.
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:It's helping him refocus on
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:what's in front of him rather
than the bigger picture.
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:, focus on one step at a time or one
bite at a time, or, you know, like
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:just taking it moment by moment and
not always being worried about what's
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:coming a hundred steps down the line.
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:Alexandra: So since you've already
mentioned it before, that you've
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:struggled with this throughout your
life beyond what you've already
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:mentioned, how does this quote relate
to your experiences over thinking
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:Christine: I definitely have
experienced paralysis when it comes
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:to my struggles with overthinking.
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:I get caught up in thinking about how
we talked about in the joy episode.
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:I get, I can get caught up in and thinking
about all of the what ifs around a
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:certain situation that I'm particularly
feeling a lot of anxiety about.
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:I feel like my overthinking ramps
up when I'm anxious and overwhelmed.
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:And then that feeds into me ending up in
a spiral because then I'm just paralyzed
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:where I'm at and I can't move forward.
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:Alexandra: Can I ask a question
about your spiraling of whatevs?
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:So you mentioned about what if happens,
how far in those whatevs do you go?
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:Is it just past this first decision
or do you even build on top of?
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:You know, when you get to
point B, the what ifs of point
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:Christine: I can, yeah,
especially if my anxiety around a.
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:If I have to make a decision or if I
have to do something like if I'm, if my
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:anxiety is high around that particular
thing, I'll go from what if to what if.
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:Another thing that sometimes happens
is and I think it's become sort of a
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:protective measure for myself in an effort
to sort of curtail becoming, becoming
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:So I sort of shut my brain off
and I try not to think about it.
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:And I procrastinate in other areas.
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:But then I get anxious.
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:Because I know I need to start
thinking about it and I know I need
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:to like, eventually make a first step.
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:So that's kind of funny.
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:I don't know if anybody
else can relate to that, but
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:Alexandra: I'm sure there
are many people who can,
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:Christine: yeah it's an interesting thing.
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:I actually had dealt with
that rather recently.
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:I just It coupled with, I was
really busy at the time as well.
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:So at the end of the day, I didn't want
to have to think about something that
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:was going to make me anxious and spiral.
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:So I just would be like, Oh,
I'll deal with that tomorrow.
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:Alexandra: I remember one of those
conversations, I think you had said to
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:After we had talked about this for a
while and after a couple of days, you're
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:like this hasn't been really helpful.
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:And I said, yep, I'm honestly
not trying to be at this point.
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:Okay.
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:So conversely, you've done the spiraling
of the what ifs and the anxiety and
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:the anxiousness building on that.
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:Have you ever experienced a situation
where you couldn't see a way forward
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:to it's almost like you couldn't even
spiral because the what ifs were not
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:happening, but you almost wanted to.
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:What was that like?
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:If you've experienced it.
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:Christine: trying to think.
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:I'm sure I have.
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:I think like situations
like this come up when
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:when I don't do the, I feel like the what
if spiral is a byproduct of me knowing
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:I can see my way through something.
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:But this sort of situation is I could
have resigned myself to the fact
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:I'm never going to get through this.
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:So in this situation, it's a different
way of shutting down because I'm trying
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:to pinpoint a particular example.
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:And I, and one's not really coming to
mind right now, but I kind of have.
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:Recollections of feeling this way.
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:It doesn't happen very often.
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:And if it happened and.
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:it hasn't happened recently, like in
my adult life since I've graduated
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:college, knock on wood, I think.
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:But I think it's because I'm very blessed
to have wonderful friends and family that
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:I can go to when I'm in those moments.
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:If I don't see a way forward, I go
to them, I ask for their advice.
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:And that's a really great first step.
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:So if somebody's struggling with what
that first step could be, it could
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:be as simple as talk to somebody you
trust you know, call your person who
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:sort of Is a good touchstone for you.
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:So I'm turning the tables and
asking you these questions now.
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:What do you think the significance
is of the horse's advice to the boy
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:Alexandra: I think it's experience.
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:I think the significance is
experience to be able to say,
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:then just take the first step.
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:If we think of the boy, like being
a little boy, you're kind of in
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:the early stages of your life,
you're figuring everything out.
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:And in this case, to me, I kind of hear
the horse as like an older grandparent
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:type figure?
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:like
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:Sage was like wisdom, but
also from my own experience.
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:And I know I talked about it quite
openly going through therapy.
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:I mean, I can, there are moments where
it's I can almost separate different parts
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:of my thoughts out and be like, ah, okay.
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:I am spiraling here.
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:And then it's almost like another part
of me comes in and goes you know, the
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:next step, just the next step, take that.
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:And and that's come through months
in therapy again to work to not get
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:caught up in some of that anxiety
that you mentioned, Christine,
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:that can come with overthinking.
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:I think, I don't know that they're
necessarily mutually inclusive, but
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:I do think that they are very much.
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:Can be intertwined.
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:So I think the significance is experience
to be able to say just take the next step.
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:And I guess it is very much
related to your thinking.
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:I mean whether it's just in actions of a
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:kind of low risk Not super
high consequences situation
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:of what do you want to eat for
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:dinner To make your life decisions?
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:This can be very applicable to
just say you know your next step.
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:You don't know what you want for dinner?
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:Go to the grocery store.
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:You don't know what you want out of life?
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:First step is writing the
things that you do want, or
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:the things that you don't want.
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:You know, taking a small step.
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:It doesn't have to be a giant stride.
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:It just has to be the next step.
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:And I think that's sometimes a really
beautiful part of that conversation.
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:It's I can't see my way through.
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:I can't see my way through the
whole solution to the end point.
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:And we're just, can
you see your next step?
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:The voice says yes.
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:So then just take that one step,
like you don't have to have the whole
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:thing solved today, which as Christine
knows, and if you have listened to
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:this podcast for a while, I like to
know where we end up before I start.
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:So life does not often work that way,
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:Christine: No.
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:No.
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:It doesn't.
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:.
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:Dive deeper into our world and
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:Don't miss out on the excitement.
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:Alexandra: so let's jump now into
The trap of overthinking, which
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:I think we've started to briefly
touch on, but Christine, can you
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:tell me what overthinking is to you?
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:And what are some common triggers
that you experienced throughout
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:your life that'll start that spiral?
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:You mentioned.
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:Christine: Overthinking to me is when
I'm trapped in the wide screen view of
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:a situation and I'm constantly trying to
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:figure out how something's gonna play out.
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:Some common anxiety, stress,
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:If I'm going through a bout of insomnia
or if I'm getting proper sleep.
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:I don't know if I've
mentioned that before.
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:I do struggle with insomnia.
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:It's not something that I struggle
with constantly and I feel for
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:people who struggle with that.
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:But mine is triggered by stress.
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:And it is.
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:Another form of paralysis because
in my head, if I go to sleep, like I
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:can't shut my brain off enough to go to
sleep, to rest, to wake up refreshed,
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:to look at the situation differently.
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:So those are some common triggers
and what I see overthinking as,
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:but Alexandra, what about you?
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:How did, how does that look for you?
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:Alexandra: Well, to me, overthinking
is very much, alliterative set of words
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:here, mental mastication on the situation.
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:So like to masticate, to chew, and
you're constantly chewing over this
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:thought, which is in your head.
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:And it's so interesting.
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:I go to see an acupuncturist and I hope
I'm getting this right the Gallbladder
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:channel, meridian channel, is the one
that's kind of related to digestion,
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:but not only just physical digestion
of food, but digestion of our thoughts.
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:And so sometimes when I'm stewing
things over and I can't quite get to
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:the point to take my next step, and I,
and if I happen to be going to see my
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:acupuncturist, he'll be like checking
my pulses and he's so your gallbladder
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:channels a little bit I've been thinking
about this and, you know, this has
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:been sticking around for a while.
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:So it's quite interesting to see
that, you know, it's not just
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:also chewing, but the digestion.
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:Sometimes we can think Oh, I've
made a decision, but still the
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:overthinking part of our brain is
still lurking back there and going,
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:Nope, I'm still digesting on it.
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:I'm still stewing on it.
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:Common triggers, similar to Christine, I
feel like stress can be, but also I think
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:it's one of those cyclical and recursive
relationships with Stress Stress can
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:cause overthinking, overthinking can cause
stress, and we're just stuck in the cycle.
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:I think subject wise, triggers that
can cause me to overthink are, you
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:know, my entrepreneurial activities.
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:I mean, sometimes this podcast,
I'll get in a moment of oh my gosh.
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:Overthinking and then
it's just Nope, I'm sorry.
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:I understand this anxiety is coming
up or, you know, even my other
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:business or you, my master's program
or trying to figure out what I want
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:to do for the rest of the life.
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:Whoa, let's get out of
that eagle eye view.
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:And let's just focus on today or tomorrow
or this decision, because quite frankly,
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:the longer I stew on the bigger parts.
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:Or the whole, how it's all going to fit
together, what it's all going to look
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:like, the more I'm distracting myself from
getting to and through the step I can see.
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:So I would say that's my common
triggers and overthinking.
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:So I know we've mentioned it, anxiety,
stress, but how else can this affect
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:your overall mental health and
therefore your daily life and wellbeing
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:outside of your insomnia, Christina?
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:Cause I feel like you've mentioned that.
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:Christine: Yeah, that's a big one for me
is is when my insomnia starts acting up.
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:Other ways it affects my mental wellbeing.
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:I mean, when I'm really struggling,
one of the beautiful compliments people
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:give me, and you've mentioned is that.
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:I have a glow about me.
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:So like when I'm feeling good mentally,
physically that shows bright, shines
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:brightly as if we, if I should
continue with that analogy, but
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:one of the, one of the things
that I think is a visual when I'm
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:stuck In this mode of overthinking
stress, I'm not sleeping well.
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:That's significantly dimmed
and people can tell immediately
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:I don't have a poker face.
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:I really,
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:I I mean, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
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:So
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:That's another toll it takes on me
mentally, but also it becomes a trigger
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:for other people in my life to be
like, okay, what's going on, Christine?
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:Like you're not yourself.
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:And I remember there was a time in
high school you know, high school is
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:a very short amount of time, but you
changed so much in those four years.
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:More so than I think college, because
when you enter your 14 and when you end
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:your 18 and so much changes for you in
those four years I think the next biggest,
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:like Chunk of time that you change a
lot is just the decade of your twenties.
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:But the first time I truly struggled
with overthinking depression and sound
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:like my insomnia was really raging was.
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:Junior year into senior year of high
school, which is a very stressful
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:time for all teenagers, because if
you're looking to go into college,
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:that's a very key time for you.
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:You're doing the testing, you're writing
your essays, you're visiting colleges.
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:You're trying to figure out like, what
are we going to do with our lives?
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:And then add on top of that, like
the bullshit of being a teenager and,
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:People being shitty and all of that.
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:It was the first time in my life.
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:I lost a grandparent
like dealt with a lot.
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:So that was the first time I
started to struggle with depression.
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:I'm very grateful it didn't manifest
severely, but I look back on that and I'm
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:like, yeah, that was, I was depressed.
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:When I think back on that time.
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:So that to me is something
I look back on as.
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:Okay, I don't ever want
to end up there again.
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:And I
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:Try and break my cycle if I can,
when I'm stuck in a spiral or I'm
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:stuck in overthinking and remember
where I'm at, not time travel
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:to the future, to the past, to
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:Alexandra: That's a good
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:Christine: all of that stuff.
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:And my next step then is to call
somebody I trust and be like,
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:okay, do you have time to, To
talk some things through with me.
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:If not, that's okay.
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:But if you do, could you use some help?
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:And if I'm not able to talk to somebody,
that's when I get a pen and paper
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:out and I just try and start brain
dumping or I'll hit record on my phone
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:and do a voice note and just talk.
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:and that is a huge, that's
another great first step.
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:You just start unloading all of
that stuff that's weighing on you.
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:So that kind of,
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:Alexandra: So I have a two
part question for you here.
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:What are some of the first signs that you
notice to indicate that you're beginning
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:to start to overthink a situation?
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:And then the second part is, can you
share a time when overthinking led
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:to a negative outcome in your life?
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:Or a negative conclusion to a situation
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:Christine: So some signs.
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:That indicate I'm overthinking.
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:Alexandra: or like you can feel
yourself starting to go, but
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:you can't stop it that way.
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:Maybe some of our
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:listeners can start to identify
that in their thought processes.
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:Christine: Don't know if I've
become that self aware yet, that
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:I notice it before it's happening,
or as it's starting to happen.
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:But I definitely know when I'm in it.
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:The people around me know when I'm in it.
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:I mean, it goes back to a
point I brought up earlier.
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:It's like when I get paralyzed and stuck
where I'm at, and I'm just constantly
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:your alliteration is great, just
chewing on whatever I'm overthinking
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:about, and I'm just stuck there not
moving, and unfortunately I haven't
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:been able to, as of yet, catch those
warning signs before it's happened.
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:I feel like for me, it's a
very instantaneous thing.
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:There's a switch in my brain.
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:There's no sort of gradual
ease into overthinking.
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:It's pretty like you're just
hit with a wave of everything.
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:Yeah.
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:I will say I've gotten better at
managing it when it does happen.
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:I don't necessarily, there's some
decisions I can handle more easily.
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:There's, you know, some things that I
can't, it also depends on mentally, if
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:I'm up for the fight, like with myself,
because I do find it's like a battle
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:within myself that I'm losing always.
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:Because I'm like, no one
else is overthinking this.
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:It's just me.
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:It's just, I'm just the,
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:Alexandra: can I pose a question
to you that a mentor of mine whom I
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:absolutely adore will often say to
me, um, what makes you so special that
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:you're the only one who experiences it.
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:Christine: I don't think I, that's
another thing I spiral about.
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:Alexandra: But didn't you just
say no one else overthinks this?
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:Christine: No one's
overthinking this situation.
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:I'm in it's I'm the one
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:Alexandra: Oh, oh, no.
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:What
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:Christine: everybody's overthinking girl.
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:Everybody is.
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:Alexandra: Okay.
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:Cause I was
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:Christine: when I'm in it,
it's the only thing I'm doing.
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:there's no one
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:else.
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:I don't have my mom and it
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:was,
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:Alexandra: a, what if somebody
was in a parallel situation?
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:Do you think, and if they had a
similar personality overthink,
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:what would that person do?
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:Have you ever tried thinking,
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:Christine: Oh,
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:Alexandra: would it be helpful?
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:Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:To take yourself out of it and be
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:Okay, if somebody else was here.
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:Christine: Oh yeah.
379
:Taking, yeah.
380
:Taking the myself out of this
situation, putting somebody else
381
:that definitely does help in terms of
382
:taking.
383
:Taking myself out of the
situation definitely does help
384
:sometimes though, depending on the
spiral, like how far gone I am.
385
:Alexandra: is true.
386
:But yeah, I don't want you to
have to lose a war with yourself.
387
:On either side.
388
:Christine: Yeah, it, I don't either.
389
:I don't want anybody to experience
that, but I felt like that was the
390
:best way I could sort of describe
the situation and how I can sometimes
391
:feel when I'm stuck in bouts of that.
392
:But what about you?
393
:What do you think are
some signs for yourself
394
:That indicate you're
overthinking a situation?
395
:Alexandra: signs That I'm starting to
overthink if I'm happened to be taking
396
:like a walk or catching up with my mentor
and she, if I'm doing something, she
397
:goes, what makes you so special that
you're the only one to experience this
398
:or the only one to hold to the standard
or whatever I'm mentally overthinking.
399
:Which is kind of helpful.
400
:It, moments like goes ouch, but
it's okay, no, you're right.
401
:What makes me so special that I'm
the only person to experience it?
402
:And that kind of helps provide some
space between me and the situation
403
:that I can then kind of think about
something a different way, or let go
404
:some of the attachment to getting caught
up in that spiral, if that makes sense.
405
:Recently I feel like there was a
situation because I tend to absorb
406
:people's emotions, that I was feeling.
407
:Anxiety and stress roll off and
come from other people that it
408
:was causing anxiety and stress
a decision I was trying to make.
409
:And I'm, and I was going,
how much of this is mine?
410
:How much of this is other people and
going, this is not a space right now
411
:to be making this kind of decision.
412
:And then Christine, you mentioned, I
put something away for a little bit
413
:and I came back to it the next day.
414
:And I was like, ah, okay, this was mine.
415
:This was my coworkers or my
friends, or this was something else.
416
:And I'm like, now I can
go, what do I really want?
417
:What's mine?
418
:What do I want my next step to be?
419
:And it was a little bit easier.
420
:so I feel like The first trigger is
kind of feeling my heart start to race
421
:Kind of feeling my body start to tense
and when that starts to happen When
422
:it comes to and my thoughts race if I
feel all three of those things I go.
423
:Oh, this is my These are my
triggers, and that's what I try to
424
:work with, and directly on that.
425
:Sometimes, not even the situation, I'm
like, address these triggers first.
426
:Christine: Yeah.
427
:as I've been listening to you share your
signs trying to think of a time where
428
:overthinking led to a negative outcome.
429
:I've definitely experienced like missing
out on something because I've been,
430
:I took so long to come to a decision.
431
:I think that's the most.
432
:most tangible way I can
answer this right now.
433
:Cause I don't, I can't necessarily
pinpoint like a specific time, but just
434
:to say there has been situations where,
yeah, I got so caught up in the what ifs
435
:and the overthinking and the spiral that.
436
:I missed out on an opportunity.
437
:whether it was an interview for a job or
438
:not reaching out to somebody for
a reference, because I was like
439
:overthinking my significance and my
contributions to working with that person.
440
:Those are not very big things.
441
:Alexandra: like, or undervaluing your
significance and your contribution,
442
:not under thinking, undervaluing.
443
:Christine: Yeah.
444
:Yeah.
445
:I think I got caught up in trying to think
of something major that ended up bad,
446
:that turned out badly, but I think just
a result of me overthinking in the past
447
:has, I've missed out on opportunities,
I've undervalued myself, And as a
448
:result, don't go after something I want.
449
:Those are like, I think the biggest
negative outcomes that have come
450
:out of my bouts of overthinking.
451
:And a big shift came last year.
452
:Gosh, I can't even say last
year anymore because it's been
453
:over a year since I left my job.
454
:But when I was coming to the decision to
leave my previous job that was the first.
455
:Time that in my like professional
career, adult life, let's say that I
456
:finally was like, stop overthinking
this Christine and just do something
457
:for yourself because I was so miserable
and it didn't have to be that way.
458
:A job doesn't have to be like,
459
:that just doesn't, it
460
:Alexandra: No, but
461
:it took you a while to get to
that point where you're like I'm
462
:done overthinking this
463
:Christine: I was really
464
:dealing with the decision.
465
:Alexandra: I want to say like off
and on for six to eight months prior
466
:to you leaving, you had mentioned
something and then it would.
467
:Then you wouldn't deal with it.
468
:And then you would come
back and be like, okay.
469
:And then it was starting to get really
470
:Christine: I, yeah, there were moments.
471
:Yeah, there were moments of me, you
know, I would talk to you and I talked
472
:to my parents and other friends and
I definitely was in a little bit of
473
:denial because I was stuck on thinking,
About what I thought this could be,
474
:and it wasn't meeting that expectation.
475
:And I thought, let me just hang in
there and maybe it will become what I
476
:want it to be or what I hope it to be.
477
:And then I did try to make some moves
to try and improve the situation, have
478
:conversations, try and change my outlook.
479
:And then after a while I was
like, okay, wait, it's not me.
480
:It's not, I'm not the reason
it's this environment.
481
:It's these people.
482
:It's this.
483
:The situation and I don't
have to be here anymore.
484
:There's plenty of other
opportunities out there.
485
:This has been a very valuable experience.
486
:It's taught me a lot about
resilience and what I'm capable of.
487
:I'm grateful for that, but that's
about all I'm grateful for.
488
:And thank you.
489
:Goodbye.
490
:Alexandra: What you said
makes a lot of sense.
491
:And I would have to say very similarly.
492
:I think one of the few negative
consequences of overthinking would be
493
:missing opportunities because of taking
too long to overthink, but then also
494
:not being the version of myself
that I want to be or live the life
495
:and the experiences I want to be.
496
:So I would say those are
negative consequences that
497
:don't have to be catastrophic.
498
:But can really impact our daily
lives and then the decisions we
499
:make because potentially we can
over identify as an overthinker and
500
:then get stuck there or being go.
501
:That's not me.
502
:I can't push myself that way.
503
:Or what if it all goes wrong?
504
:So again, you kind of
miss the timing on things.
505
:I think this beautifully fits in with why
we named our podcast The Mirror Project.
506
:We are taking this opportunity
to look at ourselves in the
507
:mirror and really identify.
508
:Something that could be long term, you
know, issue throughout our lives that we
509
:need to address or, you know, a recurring
habit and pattern that we want to go.
510
:Oh, hey, we don't always want to do this.
511
:We want to make different choices.
512
:But yeah, so I hope other people
are able to kindly and gently
513
:raise the mirror for themselves.
514
:And see and reflect on, you know,
if they want to change or the traps
515
:of overthinking that they fall into.
516
:And I think, Christine, you mentioned
that a very interesting trap
517
:that I find often associated with
overthinking is the trap that if I
518
:just stick it out, it will get better.
519
:This group, this thing is different
than I thought it would be.
520
:And if I just stick it out,
if I just Put in more effort.
521
:If I just something, it'll become that.
522
:Christine: Yeah, definitely.
523
:I think that's a great segue.
524
:Let's now talk about strategies
to overcome overthinking.
525
:Alexandra, can you sort of talk
about how mindfulness can help ground
526
:you in being in the present moment?
527
:Alexandra: So I think mindfulness,
I think we've mentioned this
528
:on and throughout the podcast.
529
:It's different episodes.
530
:Mindfulness isn't necessarily easy,
but I think it is a practice worth
531
:developing because I mentioned in the
previous section that kind of taking
532
:those pauses or space between thoughts
in order to kind of Be a third party
533
:observer to say, Hey, I'm doing this.
534
:I'm experiencing this versus being.
535
:I am this I'm experiencing.
536
:I'm feeling this can be really
helpful in moments that you start to
537
:overthink or you feel those triggers,
but that takes time and practice.
538
:So if anyone's I want to start
mindfulness around something.
539
:Please don't feel discouraged if
you go come up to a situation.
540
:You're like I didn't
mindfully approach that.
541
:Again, guys, months in therapy
and working with my therapist.
542
:and she really pushes me to be
mindful and identify things and
543
:think about it and even say,
what's the worst that could happen.
544
:You know, if you make a decision
without overthinking, what's
545
:the worst that can happen?
546
:And part of mindfulness is sitting.
547
:Sometimes I think for me and maybe
for other people overthinking comes
548
:because you're overthinking a surface
part of it and not wanting to deal
549
:with an underlying emotion or a
thought you don't want to voice.
550
:So you try to think around it.
551
:And sometimes mindfulness for me
comes with sitting down with that
552
:thing I don't want to address.
553
:As it comes to different situations where
I mentally masticate, um, so sitting in
554
:that very uncomfortable space and dealing
with a root problem really helps me
555
:identify things moving forward in life
and address them a little bit more quickly
556
:to bounce back or bounce through things.
557
:what's your experience with
mindfulness to help ground you?
558
:Christine: I think I talked about
this first when we were talking
559
:about the sayings and mantras.
560
:I go back to that time when I
was trying to figure out what my
561
:next step was going to be with.
562
:My last job and my mom gave
me a great piece of advice
563
:of voicing to the universe.
564
:What you hope, what your
hopes are for the day.
565
:And not just thinking it,
but actually speaking it.
566
:Because the act of doing that really just
helps put me in a positive mindset going
567
:into the day and helped ground me and not
568
:allow other people's Attitudes or
569
:behavior influence how I was feeling.
570
:that's like my big, my biggest thing.
571
:And it was so helpful.
572
:It was a great piece of advice.
573
:At the time, I'd be in my car driving
to work and I'd just be like, all right,
574
:universe, this is what I want for the day.
575
:Send me any signs that you think I
need little messages and ever since
576
:then I started seeing 11 11 and since
then I've, I could constantly and I
577
:consistently still see that and that's
like for me like a little sign from
578
:the universe when I am trying to make a
decision or if I'm looking for positive
579
:reinforcement on something I've decided
on it's always like a little, a nice
580
:little sign that helps remind me that
I'm moving forward on, on the right path.
581
:Alexandra: Think tying into our music
episode that was in July, listening
582
:to a song or songs that have speak
the words and things you want to bring
583
:into your life could also be a very
interesting way to add on to that.
584
:Speaking what you want into
the universe grounding moment,
585
:Christine: absolutely.
586
:shall we talk about how to
cultivate a positive mindset
587
:to counteract overthinking?
588
:I think what I brought up is something
that really helps me, but Alexander,
589
:do you have any other suggestions?
590
:Alexandra: I will always promote therapy.
591
:I think that's a great tool for people
592
:when you find the right
therapist to work with.
593
:For me, sometimes, because I don't
always value my own opinion, and I tend
594
:to value other people's opinions, not
seeking advice from so many people.
595
:and limit it to just my therapist or
one friend so I'm not trying to get
596
:consensus and I can put more value
on my own thoughts is super helpful
597
:and in positive and in cultivating a
positive mindset that I'm capable To
598
:To make decisions that I'm comfortable
with and then that enough that my opinion,
599
:what I think is valuable to stand on
its own without the consensus of others.
600
:But I think that also comes into
something that the quote mentioned,
601
:which is just taking the next step.
602
:so in cultivating a positive mindset to
counteract, Overthinking is if you know
603
:the next step and if you can identify
Just the next step and it doesn't
604
:have to be a major step It could be
literally a baby step in whatever you're
605
:currently overthinking taking that step
and Examining how you feel once you've
606
:taken that step and kind of seeing what
options and opportunities come out of
607
:that one step and kind of measuring it
to the overthinking spiral, the what ifs
608
:that you mentioned, Christine, before you
took that step is also kind of helpful.
609
:So that's what.
610
:I would suggest to cultivate a
positive mindset and also being kind
611
:with yourself, because if you want
to change how you currently overthink
612
:or maybe make steps to overcome
overthinking, just be kind to yourself,
613
:because it won't always be right.
614
:Perfect.
615
:You may backslide.
616
:As we've talked a lot in this
podcast, progress is not linear
617
:or very rarely is it linear.
618
:Sometimes we go backwards for a
little bit before we can come forward.
619
:So that's what I
620
:Christine: you go off to the left,
621
:Alexandra: We take attention.
622
:Christine: definitely
623
:Alexandra: As we wrap up today's meeting
of Overthinkers Anonymous, we want
624
:to thank you for joining us on this
exploratory conversation on overthinking
625
:and finding ways to navigate it.
626
:Remember it is okay not to
have all the answers at once.
627
:Sometimes all we need is to
take the next small step.
628
:We hope our conversation has offered
some support and practical tips to
629
:help you embrace the present moment
and ease the burden of overthinking.
630
:We are so grateful for your support
and for being a part of our community.
631
:If today's discussion resonated with
you, we would absolutely love to
632
:hear your thoughts and experiences.
633
:Don't hesitate to reach
out to us on our socials.
634
:Next week, we're excited to welcome back
a returning guest and my friend Traveris
635
:for an episode on breaking the ice.
636
:We'll dive into how to get to
know people quickly through
637
:deep and meaningful questions.
638
:Perfect for sparking genuine connections.
639
:It's an episode you won't want to miss
until then be gentle with yourselves.
640
:Keep putting one foot in front of
the other and remember that you
641
:are never alone on this journey.
642
:Christine: Are you enjoying the
banter and insights we're serving up?
643
:If so, consider tossing some support our
way through our buy us a coffee page.
644
:Every bit helps in fueling
this passion project of ours.
645
:Find the link in our show
notes or visit our link tree.
646
:We're immensely grateful
for your generosity.
647
:we wrap up, remember to hit that
like subscribe or follow button
648
:on your preferred platform.
649
:Until next time, let's keep
the conversation going.
650
:We'll catch on the next episode