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In this episode, Jen and Steph highlight the benefits they have seen of homeschooing they have seen while addressing common objections people raise to this method of education. Christian moms looking for hope to stay the course or curious on what homeschooing could look like will benefit from this episode.

Jen and Steph also acknowledge that school choice is a personal conviction and the importance of following our consciences on the topic. Steph goes through a summary of the difference between personal and biblical convictions at the top of the episode.

Consider listening to Natasha Craine's breakdown of the main educational options.

Scripture Referenced:

Romans 14

They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

2

exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

3

So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

4

So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

5

to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

6

We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

7

confusion and overwhelm we feel.

8

Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

9

Welcome back to the again, podcast

brought to you by entrusted ministries.

10

I'm Stephanie Hickox and today I'm

joined by the amazing Jen Frackman.

11

As we talk a little bit more about

homeschooling and Hawaii, it's

12

been such a blessing in our homes.

13

If you're homeschooling right now and

you need a little encouragement about

14

why it could be such a great experience

and what a day could look like.

15

We hope we remove a little

bit of that mystery and help

16

you focus on the end goals.

17

We find that many mothers in

our generation grew up in public

18

schools or private schools.

19

We all know what that looks

like and what a day could be.

20

But homeschooling can be a

little bit mysterious, as I said.

21

So we want to talk about the beauty of it.

22

Of course, there are challenges to be

dealt with as there are in any school

23

system or in any school environment.

24

I want to recommend a podcast episode by

Natasha Crain about schooling choices.

25

It was an extremely well thought through

discussion on the benefits and negatives

26

of a variety of schooling choices.

27

She stays very neutral and

brings some really unexpected

28

thoughts to her topic discussion.

29

I also want to be so clear that

we believe that school choice

30

is a personal conviction.

31

Some Bible teachers have trumpeted their

perspective on this topic and made it

32

sound like it's a biblical conviction.

33

But in the spirit of Romans 14, we want

to honor other believers with our choices.

34

Although Jen and I feel very

strongly about the benefits

35

of homeschooling for us.

36

We know that it's not for everyone.

37

And we support how God has led you.

38

To educate your children.

39

We know it can feel lonely and at times

overwhelming to homeschool though.

40

So when we talk about it on the

podcast, our heart is to encourage

41

the moms that need a little pep talk.

42

To keep that finish line in mind and

to think about why they're doing this.

43

Perhaps when I said that you thought,

what is a personal conviction?

44

I think that this is one of the

most helpful topics in all of

45

the interested with the child's

heart parenting curriculum.

46

Betsy very clearly discusses

what a personal conviction is,

47

what a biblical conviction is.

48

And then what personal preferences are.

49

So I just wanted to give a quick

description of those right now.

50

Because it doesn't just

relate to school choice.

51

It constantly comes up in our lives.

52

Biblical convictions deal with

clear biblical instructions and

53

commands, essential doctrines and

developing Christ-like character.

54

Biblical convictions, unite believers

of all cultures and all times.

55

If you were to look at scripture, the

commands that existed for the early

56

church still exists for us today.

57

Biblical convictions are

thus sayeth the Lord.

58

But personal convictions are different.

59

And they're created as

we read the word of God.

60

And he moves in our hearts.

61

And we develop our own personal

convictions based on what we read and

62

our desire to grow in personal holiness.

63

As a parent.

64

So many personal convictions will

come up and you are allowed to

65

develop what you want your family

to look like and to be known for.

66

Your children may notice that another

family is doing something different

67

and you get to say, that's okay.

68

This is how our family does it.

69

And you can explain why.

70

The word of God has led you

to that personal conviction

71

or that biblical conviction.

72

Personal conviction.

73

Say thus, say it.

74

The mom and dad are thus

say me as a believer.

75

This might become evident through a

family plan or a family mission statement.

76

And then from those personal convictions,

you often develop personal preferences.

77

Perhaps you don't mind if your son grows

out his hair to be long, but to another

78

mother that might sound horrifying.

79

Perhaps your creative, but obedient

spirited daughter tells you she wants

80

pink hair and you get to make the call.

81

These are personal preferences and

they extend way beyond hairstyles.

82

God calls us to be steadfast in

regard to biblical convictions.

83

There's not room for compromise here.

84

And we should be understanding in

regard to personal convictions.

85

And we should be flexible in

regard to personal preferences.

86

Our biblical convictions

should never change, but our

87

personal convictions can change.

88

As we grow closer to Christ.

89

Or as we gain new information

and our personal preferences

90

can certainly change as well.

91

I encourage you to read

through Romans 14 for yourself.

92

But I'm just going to repeat these

six key principles of personal

93

convictions from entrusted with

a child's heart lesson three.

94

Number one disputable issues

do exist among believers.

95

They are gray areas about

which we may think differently.

96

Both groups are accepted by the

Lord and he is savored to both.

97

These things should not divide us.

98

Number two, it is important to have

personal convictions, even though they

99

may differ from those of other believers.

100

We have to form our own

convictions by what we believe

101

is most pleasing to the Lord.

102

Number three, our personal convictions

must never violate our contents is.

103

If it violates your conscience, it

is sin and you should not do it.

104

Even if another believer

is giving you pressure.

105

Number four don't pass judgment on the

personal convictions of another believer.

106

We should be loving and

accepting of other believers.

107

Of course, if it's a biblical

conviction, scripture commands us

108

to handle all of these differently.

109

Number five, don't allow your

personal convictions to cause

110

discord among other believers.

111

We demonstrate that we are truly

children of God when we love each other.

112

Why would we allow something that might

not go against our conscience to be a

113

stumbling block, to another believer?

114

Number six biblical convictions take

precedence over personal convictions.

115

Christ is always central.

116

If you're thinking, okay, I

need to study that topic more.

117

We would recommend taking entrusted

with the child's heart as this

118

theme is woven throughout.

119

And maybe even if you've

taken a trusted before.

120

You're thinking, oh, I need to revisit

that because the personal convictions

121

I had when my children were toddlers.

122

I need to figure out how to apply

those now that they're teenagers.

123

Remember and trusted is for every

age and every stage of motherhood.

124

I recently got to go to a

conference and talk about entrusted.

125

And I had a heartbreaking conversation

with a pastor that explained to me a

126

situation of mothers in his church,

pressuring a mother to make a decision.

127

That violated her conscience.

128

It was clear to me.

129

That this.

130

Exact issue of personal convictions.

131

was the heart of the dissension.

132

it wasn't a biblical conviction.

133

These moms were trumpeting.

134

It was a personal conviction and

there were devastating consequences.

135

Whether it's encouraging

other mothers in our lives.

136

Or discussions on social media.

137

The Lord has not called us to stir up.

138

Dissensions.

139

So again, I want to say those three

summarizing statements let's be steadfast

140

in regard to our biblical convictions.

141

Be understanding in regard

to personal convictions.

142

And be flexible in regard

to personal preferences.

143

And if you'd like to learn more about

homeschooling, keep listening, mama.

144

We talked one episode about

convincing you, you can do it.

145

We want to reiterate some of our favorite

things we've done and that we feel really

146

confident about, or maybe if we could go

back, how we would adjust things with what

147

the Lord has taught us since we began.

148

And be a little bit more practical.

149

If you are homeschooling right now, these

are the things we think that you should

150

focus on, and maybe if you decided not

to homeschool this year but it's looking

151

like something in your future, or you

would just love to know more if you

152

ever go down that path, we want to just

equip you with some more practical tips.

153

Answers.

154

Jen, as you look back at your

homeschooling career right

155

now, what are some key lessons

that the Lord has taught you?

156

Jen: I would say when the kids

were little, he taught me.

157

To just take it slow, to let them be

little, to let them enjoy the things

158

at their pace, and to not rush them

along, not rush them along in reading,

159

not rush them along in math time,

to take the time that they needed.

160

And when they were little, instead

of being like, okay, we're going to

161

memorize all of the parts of a flower,

and we're going to memorize all the

162

that there are out there, to instead

go and Take a walk together and be

163

like look at these beautiful flowers.

164

Isn't God so good?

165

Look how creative he is.

166

How many flowers do you

even see here in this field?

167

Isn't this absolutely amazing?

168

And then to have that spark the

interest in them, that they want

169

to go home and look up, what

was this flower that we pulled?

170

And what parts art in this flower and

for them to desire that and to take that

171

desire and then dive deeper into it.

172

That I think was something

that was super beautiful to do,

173

especially when they were younger.

174

And we had the time to do that, to take

the walks and to be slower and to not

175

have as much packed in as what they do

now in high school and middle school.

176

I also think I have

often lived by the quote.

177

To cut back until there's

peace in your home.

178

And so yes we live and we are always

trying to give God glory in that

179

we don't have to accomplish it all.

180

And we are not expected

to accomplish it all.

181

We put forth with the

best effort that we can.

182

We do what we can as unto the Lord

and we leave the rest at his feet.

183

And if we are.

184

Stressed and rushed and overwhelmed.

185

No one's learning in

that environment anyway.

186

And so what can we cut back so that

it's more peaceful, but yet still having

187

excellence and striving toward not

perfection, but what is excellent for you?

188

What is that we can do so

that you are not overloaded?

189

, but the standard is high.

190

I still expect a lot of you, but

I'm not going to make you feel

191

completely exhausted and burned out.

192

Stephanie: Yeah, so much wisdom in that.

193

We want them to delight in it and

we want them to look back and see

194

it as a positive experience, right?

195

It's this balance of setting them up

for success in the future while still

196

delighting in every day with them.

197

Jen: Yeah.

198

Stephanie: find, I feel like the Lord

just helped me even put words to that

199

today we are always looking to the

future and trying to prepare well.

200

And we're trying to build upon a strong

foundation, both, obviously spiritually

201

first, but then also academically and, We

want to, be wise with the time that the

202

Lord's given us, teach us to number our

days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

203

And when we really look back at how

much time we had, did we build it?

204

Taking the time to delight in him, to

delight in each other, and that has

205

been such a treasure when I look at, of

course my kids fight with each other But

206

the bonds that they have are so sweet

and I can remember so my oldest was in

207

kindergarten when we had our fourth.

208

And to have these three little

brothers looking down at their little

209

sister, and they just adore her.

210

Now, she just turned 7 this week and

they all bought her a present and

211

they were so excited to give it to her

and nobody wants to do homeschool on

212

her birthday because they just want

to enjoy her and it was so sweet.

213

To see how that has, obviously that can

continue when you're separated all day.

214

And I think maybe in some situations

it's helpful to have the situation or the

215

separation, but I can see how like that

investment of time and all of these shared

216

experiences has built up that tenderness.

217

And I'm thankful.

218

I just felt like that was something

I got to see this week of oh, those

219

three brothers that used to just watch

you sleep and love you, that there's

220

still these three doting brothers

that are for you and to learn together

221

and Making all of these connections

together as a family, whether it is

222

reading a great book together, whether

it's learning connections in history,

223

it's such a blessing of an experience.

224

Jen: I agree.

225

I tell my kids all the time, you

guys are best buddies and you are

226

creating memories that only the four

of you will ever remember again.

227

You won't be able to go to anybody else

and be like, remember when this happened?

228

Or remember when we read this story?

229

Or remember this?

230

But with all four of you,

You get to all experience and

231

remember these memories together.

232

And if you were at school all day,

it would be like one or two kids

233

remembering portions of it, or mom

and that one kid remembering portions.

234

But to be able to all of us remember,

sometimes I feel bad for Eric because

235

I'm like, man, you don't get to be

here to experience some of this.

236

And we get to all have.

237

These memories together, and

I am so grateful for that.

238

I was just talking to a friend the other

day who was interested in homeschool,

239

but didn't feel like she could do it.

240

And it was like, I just, I, I get

overwhelmed and I just feel like I'm

241

going to be so overwhelmed with the kids.

242

And I was like, you will be overwhelmed.

243

Like

244

There are going to be days where you are

overwhelmed, but I guarantee there's days

245

that you're overwhelmed as a public school

mom as well, or as a Christian school mom.

246

There's just days that are like that.

247

But overarching, the whole

idea behind it is you will be

248

overwhelmed with gratefulness for

the hours you have with your child.

249

I read a quote the other day that said

250

homeschool a child for one academic year.

251

So if you homeschool, even from seventh

grade until 12th grade, you get 6, 000

252

That is a return on investment.

253

6, 000 more hours.

254

You have so much more time to

spend pouring into them, seeing

255

where their heart is at and

what sin issue is coming out.

256

People say that all the time

to me oh, do you homeschool to

257

keep your kids out of the public

schools and what's going on there?

258

I was like, no.

259

Actually, no, because guess what?

260

We have so much sin within these walls.

261

We're hitting all aspects of the sin.

262

But I homeschool so that when those sin

issues come up, we have the time to stop

263

and to address it and to be able to turn

our hearts and our affections back to

264

the Lord and to fix those relationships.

265

We had something this week

come up that we stopped.

266

I was like, we are not moving on.

267

In any subject until you two

sit down and figure out what's

268

going on between you guys.

269

And they had to sit

down and figure it out.

270

And they took a while to do it.

271

They took, there was lots of hurt

feelings and things that were coming

272

up that I was like, man, you've

been holding onto this for a while.

273

And tears were coming out, but I was

so grateful that in the middle of the

274

day, we could take the time to do this.

275

We could address these

things in their heart.

276

And so just having those hours.

277

Is it is overwhelming to me.

278

It overwhelms my heart with joy

and thankfulness to the Lord.

279

Thank you that I get all of

this extra time with my kids.

280

It is going so fast.

281

Olivia is 15 years old, almost 16.

282

And I cannot tell you

how fast this has gone.

283

And I have been with her

99 percent of her life,

284

Stephanie: yeah,

285

Jen: as much as I possibly could.

286

And it still is going fast.

287

I cannot imagine how fast it would

go if I was, if she was gone all day.

288

And I'm just so grateful for that.

289

And I'd rather be overwhelmed with joy and

gratefulness for the time and occasionally

290

be overwhelmed with how much is going on

and all the burdens that come with it.

291

Stephanie: yes.

292

Earlier we talked about taking

that 20 year view, and in the day

293

to day, it can feel like this was

not in the plan, like these two

294

having it out was not in my plan.

295

But if I think about in 20 years, this

is going to matter, that they worked it

296

out, that they have a great relationship.

297

But this algebra lesson, this

logic lesson, this geography,

298

whatever is not going to matter.

299

But their relationship will and

to keep that at the forefront.

300

And I laugh too, when people say, cause

I was on a panel recently talking about

301

different schooling options and the

people that were advocating for public

302

school said I just think, I don't

want my children finding out about

303

things when they go off to college.

304

I want them.

305

To be able to help explain

it when they're with me.

306

And I was like, I'm in shock.

307

You can't turn on Wheel of

Fortune without, like a man

308

saying my husband's here with me.

309

And it's rampant, this day and age, you

can't really shelter them, but I think

310

as a homeschooling mom, you actually get

to walk with them through all of those

311

things instead of not knowing exactly

what they encountered in their school day.

312

Sorry I'm not, we do believe this is a

personal conviction, so I'm not trying

313

to get too fired up about it and make

it seem like this is the only way.

314

I'm like, oh, I just went too far.

315

But I just felt like that's not that isn't

a valid argument that we're not sheltering

316

because it, I think it's very hard.

317

You have to go off the grid

to shelter at this point.

318

Jen: Yes.

319

Stephanie: and then I think that

there's also really What seems

320

like an incredibly valid argument.

321

And in some circumstances, I'm sure it

is, but that you want your children to be

322

a light and you want them to evangelize.

323

But I actually, as I've processed

this and I have watched my children

324

in our backyard, share the gospel

many times with our neighbors.

325

I don't know how many times you

have that opportunity in a classroom

326

when the agenda is set for you.

327

How much free time do children

really have to talk to each other?

328

So I think that providing an academic

setting for them at home and guiding them

329

through the homeschooling process, then

I think they have a lot more free time.

330

I have seen there be a lot of

opportunities for my kids to be a light

331

to other children, and I don't think

that choosing homeschooling is taking

332

ourself out of evangelistic opportunities.

333

Jen: Oh, I fully agree.

334

In fact, I feel like it opens

up so many more opportunities

335

because our kids are available.

336

So when we have kids in the neighborhood,

I have often been one that, Hey.

337

I'm working right now and so is getting

off the bus and I won't be home.

338

Can they stop by your house?

339

Absolutely.

340

We'd love to have them come over.

341

I have to work late.

342

Can so and so come to

your home and have dinner?

343

Yes.

344

We'd love to have so and so for dinner.

345

Our neighborhood kids

are our favorite kids.

346

We they're awesome.

347

They're so much fun.

348

We love having them over.

349

One of them has had dinner

here multiple times.

350

We have youth group here and he's

eating dinner with the youth group kids.

351

And he's, a young kid, my, my son's age.

352

And he just fits in and I just love that.

353

I love the fact that we have the

time to be able to do that and to

354

be able to have those relationships

and those, the The influence in

355

their heart and in their lives.

356

But also I agree with you.

357

I, every parent that I have talked

to who has their kids in a public

358

school setting, they're like, Oh my

goodness, they don't have time to talk.

359

They in between school they're

in between classes, maybe a

360

brief moment here or there, or at

lunchtime, maybe a brief moment.

361

And that's not to negate the fact that

yes, they have built those relationships.

362

They can meet outside of

school and they probably do.

363

And we're, by all means, we're not

saying homeschool is the only way, but I

364

think culture so often gives homeschool

a bad rap that like, they're living

365

in a bubble and that they don't ever

associate with anybody outside of that.

366

And nothing could be

further from the truth.

367

They're talking to kids.

368

My kids are talking to people everywhere,

whether it's at the grocery store,

369

because people, they're talking to

the adults at the grocery store in the

370

line, asking why they're not in school.

371

And they're talking to random people

that we come across on a walk, on

372

a On our walk together and they

are talking to so many people.

373

And so nothing could be further from

the truth when someone says that

374

homeschoolers are not socialized.

375

In fact, I find the opposite is

more true nowadays that typically,

376

generally the homeschool world is a

little bit less free and giving their

377

children a phone and technology.

378

And.

379

Therefore, they have to have that face

to face communication where some of

380

the older kids or some of the kids

that are in regular schools, they

381

need to have their iPads for school.

382

They need to have their phone for the

pickups and things, and they're not having

383

that face to face conversation, and they

don't know how to have that conversation

384

like some of the other kids are.

385

And so I feel like in recent years,

the social aspect has totally flipped.

386

It's now Some of the homeschool kids

that actually can socialize at a

387

greater rate and with more eloquence

because they are actually talking

388

face to face with people as opposed

to just being on their technology.

389

And I definitely think that.

390

This isn't saying that homeschool is the

only way, but for so long homeschool did

391

get a bad rap that I think now people are

starting to wake up and be like, wait a

392

minute, I think there's something here.

393

I think there's something

that we missed out on.

394

Stephanie: Yes.

395

I, have you ever read the book

Chasing Slow by Erin Lochner?

396

Jen: Ooh, I think I have that.

397

Is there a picture of a boat on it?

398

Stephanie: No, it's her like dragging,

399

Jen: Okay.

400

Stephanie: there's her

dragging a bag of trash

401

Jen: Oh, definitely not read that

402

Stephanie: okay, so she's fantastic

and she wrote a book recently

403

called The Opt Out Family.

404

And I, I expected her to

present here's the research,

405

but you can do what you want.

406

And she was like, the research is so

strong, like we are in a battle for

407

our children and you better watch out

because technology is coming for you.

408

she had her own HGTV show and

and she was huge on social media

409

and she walked away from it all.

410

And so she is writing the book

saying, these are the methods that

411

I was taught to pull people in.

412

And this is how big

tech is coming for you.

413

And this is how you can use those

same marketing principles in your

414

home to make life exciting for your

kids and to draw them in instead of

415

them being drawn into technology.

416

But she talked in that book about

teachers and how the children are just

417

being given devices and they're sitting

there in the classroom staring at them.

418

And how it's taking away a lot of this

engagement and just so much that the

419

school setting, so many of the beautiful

things that school used to be is being

420

threatened by the presence of technology.

421

Recently we had some kids over and

they had been given devices in their

422

school and they showed my kids.

423

Some math games that they play

at school, and I'm sorry, I was

424

laughing so hard because I'm

like, these are not math games!

425

There is no math here whatsoever

just because it's on coolmathgames.

426

com.

427

I think parents and educators

are being completely the wool

428

is being pulled over their eyes.

429

This is not a math game.

430

Just because a watermelon smashes

into a pineapple and a number appears

431

on the screen no math was done.

432

And, someone is being told that their

kids are learning math or that the

433

students are learning math and they're

allowed to go on these websites as they're

434

learning, just sitting in a classroom.

435

the game was fun.

436

I will give it that and I'm

playing it, but I'm, it's not math.

437

It's a relaxing game.

438

Jen: Oh, I love it.

439

Stephanie: Before I pray over you.

440

I invite you to consider

supporting and trusted ministries.

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It is a heartbeat and mission

to help mothers apply the word

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of God to their parenting.

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If you would consider becoming a monthly

partner, no matter how small of a

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contribution it would truly bless us.

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Please go to and trusted

ministries.com to our donate page.

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We want to keep this

content coming for you.

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And we appreciate any sacrifice

that you're able to make.

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Thank you.

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We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

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us for this episode of Again.

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If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

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EntrustedMinistries.

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com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

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This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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world, and we want it for you, too.

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Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

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We're rooting for you.

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To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

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His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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Him, according to the grace of our God.

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And the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Amen.

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Until we meet again.