BTW - If you didn't already know, I'm Sarah - Drink Less; Live Better founder, best-selling author, expert speaker, life coach and, as you already know, podcast host!
We don't have to hit rock bottom, we're allowed to want something different and we can CHOOSE to improve our lives from this point onwards.
I work in the magic space where doubt, hope and action meet... oh.... and
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Transcripts
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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the drink less, live better podcast.
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This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.
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I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and here we are today, 200 episodes in 200.
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Well, dear listener, thank you for being here.
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Every now and again when I look at my listener figures I wonder who you are.
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I don't know most of you, thousands and thousands of you, of course I couldn't know you all but I'm delighted you are here.
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1 of my boys recently told me which European football stadium my audience filled.
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I can't remember which one it was now, but we looked at pictures of the stadium online and then looked at each other in wide eyed shock.
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He was actually more shocked than me.
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He wouldn't tune in volunteer voluntarily to listen to me talk about anything, and I mean both via a podcast or sometimes in real life.
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A perfect time then to talk about listening, one of my favourite subjects. Why does listening matter so much?
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It matters because your story, because you matter.
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If you tell me a story and you tell me a bit about you, your thoughts, your feelings, who you are turning up as in the world, you bet. I'm going to listen. I'm going to concentrate.
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If we're on screen together in a coaching session, I'm going to watch you to learn as much as I can about you.
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I'm going to nod or shake my head or offer up other nonverbal signals.
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I'm not going to interrupt, and I'm not going to ask you to stop if you get emotional.
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I'm going to accept your interpretation of the story while you're telling it.
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Your story will probably include a main theme and probably some side stories.
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I'll be interested in all of it.
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There may not be a lesson, a punch line or a moral to your story and yet your story will have a point even if the point is
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to say it out loud, especially if the point is to say it out loud.
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I've had a story I couldn't say out loud for years years, and I found a place to say it out loud this year. What a relief. What a relief.
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When someone listens to us, and I mean really listens, not just waiting for their turn to speak.
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Something profound happens in our brains and bodies.
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The thing I found after telling my particularly painful story out loud was the guilt and shame lessened and I found a feeling
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of calm I hadn't experienced for nearly a decade.
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Being heard creates psychological safety, which is foundational for all meaningful human connection and for our sense of belonging.
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When somebody gives us their complete attention, maintaining eye contact, nodding along, and showing genuine interest in our
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words, our central nervous system begins to relax. This isn't just a feeling.
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Research shows that being heard activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and this reduces the stress hormone, cortisol,
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and it increases our feelings of safety and trust.
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Being listened to validates our existence and experiences in a way that few other human interactions can.
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We are being constantly bombarded with messages, notifications, and distractions.
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Having somebody's undivided attention has become increasingly rare and valuable and very often time limited. When someone listen
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This
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experience of being validated really builds our self worth and our identity.
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It confirms that our internal world is real and meaningful even if it's painful, and it's not meaningful and real just to
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us, but to somebody else then as well.
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This really is critical during challenging times when perhaps we're questioning ourselves or feeling invisible or making big
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changes like drinking less or perhaps giving alcohol a break completely.
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Careful listening creates a space for us to develop insights and wisdom about ourselves. It allows for growth and change.
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When we feel heard we often listen to ourselves differently too.
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As we speak into the attentive silence another person provides we automatically begin to organize our thoughts more clearly,
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make some new connections and reach deeper understandings about ourselves.
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It's a bit like having a human mirror that reflects back not just our words but the meaning behind them.
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This process can often lead to reflections that might not have emerged if we were simply thinking about them.
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When I'm talking to somebody who's listening to me really carefully, I quite often say, hang on a second.
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I'm just gonna say this out loud and and see if it's true or not, and I love that experience of being able to test drive a
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thought out loud and then decide whether that thought really is right for me or not.
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I do a lot of talking on this podcast platform and you do the listening.
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If you want us to switch that up, I'm available to listen to you.
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I have one to one coaching spaces available, and right now, if you click on the show notes, you'll find my Beyond Dry January
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offer available to you if you have one day alcohol free or 10 years alcohol free because we all need to be listened to.
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We all need a place to show someone who we really, truly are.
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All the versions of you with all your emotions are very welcome in my coaching practice. Thank you for listening in today.
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Please come back again next week for episode 201. I can't believe it.
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Check out those show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5 PM cravings. And PS, I believe in you.
