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There’s a shift happening in the online space that no one really wants to talk about. We’ve entered a full-blown validation culture where everyone is seeking agreement, instant reassurance, and quick answers… and losing the ability to think strategically. With social media echo chambers and AI giving everyone a nonstop “Absolutely, you’re right,” business owners are falling into copycat thinking and cookie cutter decisions that keep them stuck.
In this episode of The Real Truth About Business, Michelle breaks down how this craving for external validation is killing creativity, discernment, and actual business strategy. She explains how to use tools like AI without outsourcing your decision-making, how to strengthen your critical thinking skills, and why seeking agreement feels good in the moment but rarely produces the results you want. This is a wake-up call for entrepreneurs who want to lead with clarity instead of consensus.
Whether you’re a coach, consultant, OBM, VA, designer, copywriter, or ADHD entrepreneur, this episode will help you step out of validation mode and back into grounded, strategic leadership.
You’ll learn:
- How validation culture is quietly damaging your growth
- Why constantly being agreed with leads to copycat ideas and mediocre results
- How to use AI as a strategic partner instead of a permission slip
- What discernment actually looks like in day-to-day decision-making
- How to challenge your own thinking so you stop playing small
This is the real truth about business growth, especially for neurodivergent service providers who crave clarity, structure, and results without falling for every trend online.
Links referenced in this episode:
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About the Host:
Michelle DeNio is a business strategist and growth advisor for service-based entrepreneurs, especially neurodivergent and ADHD business owners. Creator of the Focused Visionary Accelerator and host of The Real Truth About Business podcast, she helps clients simplify, focus, and grow sustainably. With 15+ years in business operations, she’s known for turning big ideas into simple, profitable action plans.
Transcripts
Okay, let's be real for a second because, you know, I love real, honest conversations on this podcast.
Speaker A:But lately I've been seeing a lot around this, of this.
Speaker A:I don't want to call it, like, validation culture, but that's what I'm going to call it, validation culture.
Speaker A:And like this inability to think strategically.
Speaker A:You know, we're just living.
Speaker A:We're living in a time, especially on social media, especially with all the external validation, right?
Speaker A:Where people just want to be agreed with, right?
Speaker A:People post something and they're not necessarily looking for a conversation, they're looking for validation.
Speaker A:Or if they are looking for a conversation, they're really looking to stir up shit.
Speaker A:But for the most part, like, people are posting things on social media or whatever because they're wanting that validation, right?
Speaker A:That external validation.
Speaker A:And now with tools like AI, like ChatGPT, right?
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's really kind of enhancing this validation because it's like, you know, it's forever.
Speaker A:You know, chat is forever going, oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, it's my favorite response with chat is always, absolutely, you are, right, right?
Speaker A:Like, even if it's.
Speaker A:You're not right?
Speaker A:Even if it's like, not something, it's always going to go, absolutely right.
Speaker A:And so it just feeds into this, like, external, this validation, right?
Speaker A:And so, you know, people ask a question, they get an answer, it might.
Speaker A:It sounds pretty good, right?
Speaker A:And then they just take that as the full truth, right?
Speaker A:Without ever really even asking themselves again, like, does this actually make sense for me and my business?
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And that's the thing I want to talk about.
Speaker A:It's like validation feels good in the moment, right?
Speaker A:We love to feel validated, but it can also, like, really hinder your critical thinking.
Speaker A:And without that, like critical, strategic thinking, you end up with these like, cookie cutter decisions, cookie cutter voices, cookie cutter responses, right?
Speaker A:And these like, kind of just copycat results.
Speaker A:And so that's what you're seeing.
Speaker A:And a lot of people are starting to see that they're getting bored, right?
Speaker A:It's like, oh my gosh, everything feels so boring.
Speaker A:And it's because it's.
Speaker A:Everything is like this copy paste, whatever chat GPT says, right?
Speaker A:So that's what I really want to talk about today is this kind of validation culture and like, how you can get back to, like, still using it and being a part of and getting the validation that you're seeking and that you're looking for, but also being that strategic, critical thinker who, like, asks the questions, has a little bit of Discernment and leads from, like, clarity and not necessarily just general consensus.
Speaker A:Okay, so that's what we're talking about today.
Speaker A:Let's dive in.
Speaker A:Okay, so this episode sparked from somebody.
Speaker A:She posted something.
Speaker A:I wish I would have screenshotted it because I cannot remember exactly what it said verbatim, but it was something over here by, like, while you're over here second guessing yourself, or while you're over here not promoting yourself as a coach.
Speaker A:She works primarily with coaches and consultants and whatnot.
Speaker A:It was something like, well, you're over here not telling people how you can help themselves.
Speaker A:They're getting their ideas validated by Chat GPT and running with them or something like that.
Speaker A:And it was, you know, it was kind of like a funny thing, but it was like, when you sat and thought about, it was like, oh, God, how freaking true is that?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, you know, and that's where people.
Speaker A:There's all this hate around.
Speaker A:AI is like, everybody's just using Chat GPT for everything, right?
Speaker A:And so it's like, you know, they're, you know, the thought process is gone.
Speaker A:It's like, well, if Chat GPT said it, then it must be true, right?
Speaker A:And it's like, you know, and so there is some level to that, which is really like, are we living in this.
Speaker A:This culture now where everything is just like, if CHAT says it, it must be true.
Speaker A:And I'm.
Speaker A:I am not immune to that, right?
Speaker A:Like, I go to chat with a lot of things and I.
Speaker A:There is power in, you know, when it says, like, you're absolutely right, you're absolutely right.
Speaker A:Like, we.
Speaker A:We love that.
Speaker A:But part of the problem with it is that people want to be right more than they want to grow.
Speaker A:Okay, let that one sink in a little bit.
Speaker A:Like, how often do.
Speaker A:Would we rather be right than to grow?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because it's comfortable to seek agreement, right?
Speaker A:It's comfortable to feel validated, to get that agreement to.
Speaker A:For, you know, to feel like, yeah, absolutely, Michelle.
Speaker A:It sounds great, right?
Speaker A:Like, yeah, it feeds the ego, right?
Speaker A:Instead of being challenged, we.
Speaker A:I did this a little bit at the retreat.
Speaker A:I had a couple clients that were bringing ideas to me up at the retreat.
Speaker A:And just in general, I mean, I have this conversation a lot in all of my coaching, especially in FVA and whatever, in all the different programs, right?
Speaker A:I'm the one that challenges them, and I tell them that all the time.
Speaker A:It's like, you don't pay me to agree with you.
Speaker A:You pay me to challenge you.
Speaker A:I want to challenge your thinking.
Speaker A:On this, because that to me is, again, that's the strategy.
Speaker A:That's that strategic thinking piece.
Speaker A:But that's also why a lot of people don't hire coaches or mentors or consultants or, or copywriters or web designers, right?
Speaker A:Because they don't want to be challenged.
Speaker A:That's why a lot of people are loving ChatGPT because it doesn't challenge you in a lot of ways.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And again, this is not to throw shade on anybody.
Speaker A:This is not to, like, it's not at all.
Speaker A:Because I'm, I've been there.
Speaker A:I've been the person that was like, I'm not interested in you challenging me right now.
Speaker A:I just want you to hear me and agree with me.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, I'm not interested in being challenged on this.
Speaker A:And there's a time and a place for that.
Speaker A:And I, And I understand that.
Speaker A:But here's where the danger sets in.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And this, again, maybe you've been feeling this, maybe you haven't.
Speaker A:Maybe this is like, what the fuck, Michelle?
Speaker A:This seems like way out of left field, right?
Speaker A:Because this is.
Speaker A:Is typically not maybe an episode that I would record, but it is something I'm seeing.
Speaker A:But here.
Speaker A:And it's so important because you're, You're.
Speaker A:The conversation is starting, right?
Speaker A:The conversations are being had around this, like, copycat.
Speaker A:Everybody feels like they're doing the same thing.
Speaker A:Everybody feels like they're saying the same thing.
Speaker A:It's really hard to start to discern who to work with, who not to work with, right?
Speaker A:So is it really AI's fault that people aren't getting hired?
Speaker A:Now, granted, do I 100% believe that there are certain things that people used to hire out?
Speaker A:The AI is handled.
Speaker A:I get that, okay?
Speaker A:So don't come at me for that.
Speaker A:I. I'm with you.
Speaker A:I hear you.
Speaker A:Trust me, people are not hiring me a coaches strategist because again, chat, right?
Speaker A:What you're also starting to see is this.
Speaker A:Is anybody saying anything different anymore?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so this danger of this.
Speaker A:Yes, ma'.
Speaker A:Am, yes.
Speaker A:Thinking, everybody agreeing with each other limits creativity.
Speaker A:And it does create where kind of everybody feels like they're doing and saying the same thing, right?
Speaker A:Because we're just kind of living in this, like, yeah, that sounds good, whatever.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:Or it also, like, safe ideas don't necessarily lead to the bigger results.
Speaker A:And so by not being challenged, by being agreed with all the time, you might get some results, but it might not be the results that you're looking for.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And that's where, why I specifically always challenge my clients, and a lot of times when I challenge them, I say to them, listen, I'm going to challenge you on this.
Speaker A:However, if you can explain to me and tell me why you feel so grounded in this validation and what it means to you, then I will help you to create the strategy.
Speaker A:But I also want to make sure that your expectations of results are in alignment with what you're saying yes to.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:That validation.
Speaker A:So if you want me to agree with you and you want me to give you that validation, I will.
Speaker A:But I just want to make sure that your expectations and your results are in alignment with that.
Speaker A:So there's just, again, there's that push, push, pull of like, do I want to say yes to this?
Speaker A:Do I want to say keep safe?
Speaker A:Can.
Speaker A:Does the safe answer get me the bigger results that I'm desiring?
Speaker A:That's, you know, again, you've got to really, really decide that.
Speaker A:And AI can't really do that.
Speaker A:AI doesn't necessarily expand your thinking.
Speaker A:AI may give you good ideas.
Speaker A:It's great for idea formulation, amazing for idea formulation.
Speaker A:But only if you question it, right?
Speaker A:Only if you ask it the right questions and really get it to start thinking strategically for you.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, if you say, I don't want you to agree with me, I want you to challenge me on this, I want you to tell me what the objections would be.
Speaker A:I want you to come up, right?
Speaker A:Like, there's ways that you can use AI to help you come up with that discernment, to help you to think a little bit more strategically.
Speaker A:But you have to ask yourself, like, am I looking for validation here or am I looking for, like, the challenge?
Speaker A:Do I really want to be challenged on this?
Speaker A:Because if you don't, right.
Speaker A:Then it's easy to just take and run with it, all right?
Speaker A:But again, align your expectations with it.
Speaker A:That's the biggest thing, right?
Speaker A:So if you want better insights, you have to be willing to ask the better questions.
Speaker A:And that can be very difficult with AI and that's why coaches, mentors, service providers done for you.
Speaker A:Consultants are still very much needed in the space because, again, AI can only get you so far, Right?
Speaker A:AI also doesn't know exactly what's happening right now in this moment.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And that's the other problem I see with it, especially as somebody who's very much focused on strategic plans, Right?
Speaker A:And everything has a strategy to it.
Speaker A:And everything is all about, like, what's the strategy here?
Speaker A:AI doesn't necessarily know your goals.
Speaker A:AI doesn't necessarily Know, you know what you're trying to work towards.
Speaker A:AI doesn't necessarily know what you've tried in the past before.
Speaker A:It doesn't necessarily know your personality.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And like this is where you can really come in.
Speaker A:Like I had a client who forever would come back to the same idea and every time she'd come back to the same idea, I'd be like, remember, we've been there, done that, tried that, and here's what happened.
Speaker A:So what's going to be different about it this time?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:AI is not going to be able to ask you that question.
Speaker A:That's what I mean about this like validation culture.
Speaker A:Like it.
Speaker A:She could go to AI with this idea and it would be like, yes, this is amazing.
Speaker A:Let's figure out how we can do this.
Speaker A:Here's all the step by steps.
Speaker A:Do you want me to help you do this?
Speaker A:You know, that's like AI, you know, especially if you use Chat, it's their favorite thing now is like, do you want me to help you create this?
Speaker A:Do you want me to help you now?
Speaker A:Would you like tell me what you would like me to do first?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And you can take and run with it in minutes.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But is chat ever going to say to you, did you ever do this before?
Speaker A:How did this work out before?
Speaker A:Let's revisit what happened the last time you tried to do this.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like those things just don't come into play.
Speaker A:And so again, do you want to be validated or do you want to be strategic?
Speaker A:That's the big question here.
Speaker A:This is the problem that people are having.
Speaker A:This is what I'm seeing is really coming up against.
Speaker A:And then when they, you know, a lot of times like just do what Chat said and, and get those ideas validated and then they don't get the results, then they're having to backpedal.
Speaker A:Then when they hire, you know, a strategist or somebody else, then it's like, well, wait a second, here's what I did.
Speaker A:And then you're kind of working backwards.
Speaker A:So again, validation might get you those quick wins.
Speaker A:It might get you that quick dopamine hit.
Speaker A:It might get you that immediate, like, yes, take and run with it, that momentum which I'm here for.
Speaker A:The one thing I love the most about this video, like AI validation culture that we're living in is that for a lot of people, it gets people into momentum.
Speaker A:And that in itself is so crucial, it's so critical.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because there's so many people that get stuck in overthinking.
Speaker A:So if the validation gets you into action versus overthinking, then take it.
Speaker A:Right again.
Speaker A:That's why I always say there's two sides to every coin.
Speaker A:I'm never one side.
Speaker A:Like, only because for some people, that validation is exactly what they need to get moving.
Speaker A:It's exactly what they need to stop the overthinking.
Speaker A:And so I'm here for it, right?
Speaker A:Like, if that's what it takes to get you going and to.
Speaker A:To get the idea launched and to get you taking the scary action, then I'm here for it.
Speaker A:Just also keep in mind, right?
Speaker A:And there's always the end.
Speaker A:Being very aware of, when do I need this to be a little bit more strategic?
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And if you really want to, you know, think about this and do it yourself, right?
Speaker A:And you want to do this a little bit more strategically on your own, and you still want to utilize AI because again, I'm never going to tell people not to use it.
Speaker A:I use it.
Speaker A:I'm using it right now.
Speaker A:I use it to help me formulate most of these podcast episodes.
Speaker A:I don't just say to AI, tell me how to formulate.
Speaker A:You know, give me some podcast episode ideas and whatever.
Speaker A:I don't just do that, but I say, like, here are the things that I think I want to.
Speaker A:Here are the things I want to talk about.
Speaker A:Here's what it.
Speaker A:The reason why I want to talk about.
Speaker A:Here are the key points.
Speaker A:Help me outline it.
Speaker A:That's how I use AI for my podcast now, because it definitely helps me stay on track and make sure that I'm touching on all the key points that I want to cover without going off on tangents.
Speaker A:Although sometimes I still go off on tangents, right?
Speaker A:But like this one, I'm going off on a tangent right now.
Speaker A:Um, you know, so I do still, like, I'm never going to be the person that says, use it, but you can.
Speaker A:You don't have to fall into the trap of this validation, only thinking.
Speaker A:You can still use it critically.
Speaker A:So one of the ways that you can do that is to give it two ideas, right?
Speaker A:Or give yourself, like, two ideas and have AI help you go between the two ideas, right?
Speaker A:Have it ask you those critical questions.
Speaker A:Have it ask you those strategic thinking questions of like, why this versus that?
Speaker A:Tell me the difference between these two ideas.
Speaker A:What's got you wavering between the two?
Speaker A:What are the pros and cons?
Speaker A:Why do you want this one versus that one?
Speaker A:What about this one sounds more appealing before I just say, yeah, right, like, you can utilize It.
Speaker A:Even if you're not utilizing AI, Right?
Speaker A:But even if you.
Speaker A:Again, here's the other key point.
Speaker A:Timeout.
Speaker A:Right, okay, timeout here for a second.
Speaker A:The other thing is with this validation is this does not just happen with AI.
Speaker A:This happens in community, this happens in masterminds.
Speaker A:This happens in bit with biz besties.
Speaker A:This happens with just in conversation, right?
Speaker A:So I know I'm ragging a little bit on AI just because that's what everybody's talking about, but this validation culture happens on social media, it happens in our emails, it happens, happens everywhere, right?
Speaker A:Like anytime you ask people for an opinion, like, at the end of the day, we're looking for validation around the.
Speaker A:The question that we're asking, you know, and so just keep that in mind.
Speaker A:So even if you're in a mastermind and it's your term to be on the hot seat or whatever you want to call it, I know people hate that term, but, like, if you're throwing it out, an idea out there and then everybody is just going, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.
Speaker A:Like, don't be afraid to say to them, I want one of you to challenge me a little bit.
Speaker A:I don't want you guys to all agree with this idea.
Speaker A:I want you to challenge me.
Speaker A:I want you to get me to explain it.
Speaker A:Because that's where those strategic.
Speaker A:That's where that critical thinking comes out.
Speaker A:That's where those answers come out.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So really, like, don't be afraid to ask people to, like, ask you the hard questions, okay.
Speaker A:Or just be honest and say, like, listen, I'm coming in here.
Speaker A:I've got this idea.
Speaker A:I'm really not interested in being challenged on it.
Speaker A:I really just need some validation around it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, be honest about what you're looking for.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But then also be willing.
Speaker A:When you do get some feedback, you do get some challenges to be able to discern whether or not this is for you or not.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Like, that is the other big thing here with this is that it's.
Speaker A:It's really about you being able to discern what is truth for you and what is something that you need to maybe just leave behind.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Because that's where the growth happens, right?
Speaker A:The growth truly happens in that discernment.
Speaker A:The discernment of, you know, okay, somebody challenged me and that's okay, but I'm not.
Speaker A:I'm still good with my idea or they validated me and I feel good about that.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But being able to discern between the two is that kind of push and pull and push and pull.
Speaker A:That's where that growth happens, right?
Speaker A:The growth in being able to sit and hear all of the information and discern what works for you.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:That's the thing.
Speaker A:That's where that strategic thinking piece comes back in.
Speaker A:And that's what I teach.
Speaker A:That's what I preach.
Speaker A:That's what everything that I do.
Speaker A:You know, working with clients.
Speaker A:Ideally, my goal on this podcast is to get you thinking strategically, right?
Speaker A:Because the strategic thought is where that growth is and that's what brings the results.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So I want you to really just remember that is that, like, validation feels very safe.
Speaker A:It feeds our egos.
Speaker A:It feels really good in the moment.
Speaker A:And sometimes we need that.
Speaker A:And then other times we need to hold the vision and have the discernment and be willing to be challenged.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And that really depends on you.
Speaker A:So I want you to really, like, audit your circle.
Speaker A:Audit your.
Speaker A:Where you're coming up with answers.
Speaker A:Audit how you're getting feedback of, like, who challenges you to think deeper?
Speaker A:And do you challenge yourself to think deeper?
Speaker A:Because that's a bigger question there too.
Speaker A:Like, do you even challenge yourself to think deeper?
Speaker A:And then, you know, don't be afraid to ask yourself, like, what am I missing?
Speaker A:What am I not thinking about here?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You could even ask AI that question, right?
Speaker A:Like, what am I not thinking about?
Speaker A:What are some.
Speaker A:What are some objections that might come up?
Speaker A:What are some, you know, like, make.
Speaker A:Make it give you some strategic thought there, right?
Speaker A:Like, not just this.
Speaker A:Absolutely, you're right.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And then the other thing, and this is like, note to myself, this is also me speaking to myself right now is like, make a decision this week without seeking anybody's approval.
Speaker A:I'm going to say that one again.
Speaker A:Make a decision this week without seeking anyone's approval or feedback.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Just be your own best strategic thinking partner.
Speaker A:You have the answers.
Speaker A:You can do this.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Really, truly trust yourself a little bit and make a decision.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:Without seeking approval, as we don't always need validation.
Speaker A:We really don't.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Just think about that.
Speaker A:Like, think about that quote.
Speaker A:I wish I.
Speaker A:Again, I wish I could say it verbatim, but I don't remember it.
Speaker A:But something like, you know, while you're over here second guessing your ideas, somebody else is getting their every thought validated by chat and taking action.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Something like that.
Speaker A:I can't remember what it was, but either way, that's the thing.
Speaker A:But again, if you're needing help and you really want that person that can help you to think a little bit more strategically, and you realize, like, I've been in a year.
Speaker A:I've been in a season of validation.
Speaker A:I've been in a year, and it's not getting me where I want to go, Right?
Speaker A:Like, that in itself is just being super honest and bringing that strategic, critical thinking piece back is just being honest with yourself to say, like, yep, been living in that.
Speaker A:I think I need some help, right?
Speaker A:Reach out to me.
Speaker A:Let's have a conversation.
Speaker A:Schedule a call.
Speaker A:I've got the link right in the show notes.
Speaker A:Schedule a call, and let's have a conversation around it.
Speaker A:Because I'm not afraid to challenge you because that's what people pay me for, right?
Speaker A:And you don't even have to pay me for it.
Speaker A:The call is free.
Speaker A:But I'm still not going to be afraid to challenge you, because, again, unless you call and tell me, like, I just need to be validated, but most people don't hire me because they want their ideas just validated.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, we can.
Speaker A:We can get that anywhere.
Speaker A:If you.
Speaker A:You are really, truly at that point where you're like, I'm done being validated.
Speaker A:I need to be challenged.
Speaker A:That's when we talk.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:I believe in you.
Speaker A:Go take action.
Speaker A:I'll talk to you soon.
