Join host Hilary DeCesare in this episode as she delves deep into the intricate world of relationships, intimacy, and the journey of self-discovery. Hilary is joined by her guest, Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj, and together, they explore the complexities often faced by middle-aged men, the role of testosterone, and the profound significance of maintaining a passionate and fulfilling relationship.

As a men's life coach, Dr. Orest provides a unique perspective on the challenges that men encounter in today's rapidly evolving world, offering invaluable insights into rekindling the flames of passion in both personal and romantic aspects of life. Through candid conversations and practical advice, this episode uncovers the profound impact of communication, self-love, and intimacy on our overall well-being.

Whether you're seeking to enhance your existing relationship or gain a deeper understanding of the opposite gender, this podcast is an absolute must-listen. Tune in for eye-opening discussions, surprising anecdotes, and actionable takeaways that will inspire you to embrace life's adventures, foster a reconnection with your inner self, and reignite the spark with your partner.

About Our Guest:

Dr Orest is a 70-year-old former periodontal regenerative surgeon who has reinvented himself as a podcaster and men's life coach. Married to his first and only wife a Powerful Businesswoman and Father to two badass daughters

Subscribe to his free magazine at: https://thestandard.academy/magazine

Join our private Facebook community for BONUS content to ignite your own Relaunch: https://www.facebook.com/groups/232280334811612/

Interested in being a guest on the ReLaunch Podcast or booking Hilary as a guest? Email us at hello@therelaunchco.com

Find Us on Your Favorite Podcast App - https://the-silver-lined-relaunch.captivate.fm/listen

The ReLaunch Your Magic Retreat is the ultimate event that will guide you in manifesting a heightened level of success even if your entrepreneurial spirit has fizzled out. Register now at: https://www.therelaunchcocourses.com/ReLaunch-Your-Magic

Welcome, everybody to the ReLaunch podcast and today's show, I feel like I need to bring my drums out. I need to like, you know, I might even be in the marching band at this point because I'm so excited about this guest. And I had been on his podcast and we had such an incredible conversation that I said, You got to come, you got it. We got to do this. Again, we can't let this party stop. And why is that for the women that are listening right now, you're going to gain a lot of insight into the other, the other gender, the other, the other, if you're a female, the the male out there. And if you're a male, you will learn a lot about yourself. And I have a great person for you to go and talk to. So today on the show, I've got Dr. Orest. Come I'm going to try to say it right. Komarnyckyj. He is, hey, I did it. Here's a 70 year old former periodontal regenerative surgeon who has reinvented re launched himself as a podcaster. The podcast is called Old Guy Talks to Me. And he, this is where we're going to dive deep. He is a men's life coach, helping men identify, create and maintain the life they want and get their masculinity back. Ooh, he knows man. He knows him very well and what they really want. Ready for this ladies. They actually want more romance with their lover more control over their career, and more physical strength back. Dr. aurus is married to his first and only wife. She is a powerful businesswoman. And he is the father to two and as he refers to them, his two bad ass daughters. Ha I love this and I am so excited to first off here all of the incredible things that you are doing with men.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Dr. Orest so good to see you.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Thank you I was that intro, I kind of felt like there's someone else on this program.

I think you did the same for me. And I'm like, I gotta bring it I gotta bring my A game here because you are just so I would say it's infectious to talk to you and you have such unique and different perspectives. And I do love a great relaunch story. And this one is near and dear to my heart because you're doing for men, what I predominantly are doing for women, as I see people come through. I do have men one on one clients. But here's the thing. What I love is that we're willing to take people where they are and re launch them into the next best version of them, whatever it's going to be. But I want to talk to you about going from being a doctor going from being a periodontal surgeon. And now in your in your, you know, own words. How is it being a men's coach and talking about sex and lifestyle and getting them to their next best version of themselves?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, first of all, thank you, Hillary for having me on your show and it was a it was a pleasure. A blast having you in mind. That's a, it's a two edged sword. When you are considering a transition, I think it's important for you to to really understand what's going on in your life at that point, there was a time that I was always a early adopter of technology and techniques. I mean, I was one of the first people, probably in the nation to use a platelet rich plasma for Regenerative procedures in 2000. And now, you know, everyone in the corners got it. But I was always a, you know, early adopter tip of the spear kind of person on therapies and things like that. And I really had a passion for for being the best version of myself that I could be as a as a periodontist as a parent or general surgeon. And then I realized that I no longer had that passion. I was no longer interested. And you know, even at 80%, of who I was, which I never got to that point, I was pretty damn good still. I mean, it was I'm, you know, I was I had a very good reputation, and in my community, amongst the other surgeons and amongst other people. And so, I had Iowa's function at high standard, but I realized that I really, the last thing I want to do was to go to another meeting, another dental meeting. That's when I realized that it was time for me to leave it and there was also some technology changes that were occurring. I mean, I could have kept up with him. But we were making a big shift into a lot of computer computerized tomography, which I've done some I've actually, like, lectured on that, but I was there was a, there was a big, big change in terms of the the technology that was occurring in dentistry.

Dr. Rose, you know, there's a lot of people that are out there right now that are doing something they're doing what they were trained to do, they spent a lot of time getting to where they are today. And you said, you know, and you are still doing it, you are still completely capable of doing this job. But yet, you're like, Okay, now there's something more How did you end up picking to go into men's coaching?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, actually, the first thing was was the podcasting. That's where it started. And I am by nature, and attention whore. Or would have guessed that I never would have guessed that I you know, I do not enter a room quietly.

Everyone, if you could see him, I mean, honestly, he's, he's, he's got a big presence to him. If you're watching this over on YouTube, if you're checking it out, yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing small about Dr. Morris now.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: And it's kind of funny, because like, when my wife and I, we network a lot because of what she does, she does. She's an m&a advisor, and she helps people sell their companies. And so when we go to a business meeting, or whatever, we never hang together, we are busy working the room. And it's not, it's not like, you know, it's not like we're there just like, you know, work in the room. But we're basically generally gregarious people. And so we enjoy meeting people. And so so we don't spend a lot of time doing that together. So I've always been kind of an outgoing person, outgoing personality, you will definitely hear me you probably hear me before you see me. And so that was that I always have been a kind of a entertainer. Even when I was lecturing on dental stuff. I was always entertaining. And I was always the way I would be entertaining is I would say what people were thinking but too afraid to say. And so that was kind of where my my way of connecting with the audience.

That's the way to do it is.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: It is it is because a spade a spade. I mean, I mean, let me put this way I was I was I was I was the last speaker at a two day dental meeting at five o'clock. That's like what? Yeah, and I, the first thing I got up and I said, like, you know what? I want to thank you all for being here. Because I know everybody's thinking about happy hour right now. And the cocktail party is coming.

That's so good. It really

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: like started laughing. I said, I said, But you know, thank you for sticking around for my presentation. And I hope you find some value with it. And then

you don't want to have to say something before you go on. Because I don't want to I don't want to miss asking you this. So you and your wife are in a room and you both are mingling on your own. And you're talking to men. How do you open up about what you do?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, I usually adult, I usually ask people what they do. Okay, and then and then if they have any sort of self awareness In about five to 10 minutes, they'll realize that they've been talking all about themselves for the last 10 minutes. And they asked me what I do.

In a way, that guy will be like, Oh, by the way, Doctor, what do you do? And then how do you answer it? How do you not question what do you do?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: I am on podcaster. And my podcast is called Old guy talks to me. And it's based out of self interest. I deal with topics that are of interest to older guys and guys in general, actually, not just overall we got the guys in general, and those they love. I spent a lot of time in the anti aging space. Spent a lot of time there talking about testosterone and talking about stem cells, peptides, also regenerative procedures, spend a lot of time in the relationship space, talking about sex, a lot. Talk about Scotch talk about cigars. And then after that, I'll have interesting people that do interesting things. Probably the most famous person I've had on my program was a former world champion, UFC champion, Forrest Griffin. He's probably probably the most famous people. I've had a lot of people on my program that have been on Tim Ferriss and Joe Rogan, the whirlwind world's top experts on ketosis, Dom D'Agostino, and I had to, and I had to control my guests sometimes, because DOM talks, he was on a program was someone else who was another really smart PhD woman. And they were this are talking and it was, like they're talking cling on. I know, I have a single, you know, I have a scientific background, I had no idea what they were talking about. They were just using big words that had like seven or eight syllables.

Hold on. So let us small words, and I know people are interested in getting some key takeaways. And as a female, and I think that I mentioned this to you before is that I have crazy hobbies. And every once in a while I do crazy, crazy, crazy things. And I decided at one point to go get my certification as a matchmaker because I felt I felt it would really after 20 years of coaching, I was like, You know what I want people start dating themselves. Because if we start there, we might actually get to the point where people start liking and loving themselves again. So I want to hear because this is so fascinating. Whether you a woman out there right now is listening, whether she's married, whether she's single, let's talk about middle aged men. And let's talk about testosterone. What's going on with men? What happens to men when they hit midlife?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Okay, this is a interesting phenomenon. And I've said this before, I've been on testosterone optimization for over 25 years. I started when I was in my early 40s, and have continued on. So what happens is m and Hillary, this is actually a problem, a challenge that goes actually beyond middle age. And I'll get back a big kind of kind of circle back to talk about young men. But as your testosterone goes down, and get let me backtrack here. Your doctor will tell you your lab values are normal. Okay, well, normal isn't healthy. Okay, normal body mass in the United States is not healthy. So normal is not healthy. And the range, the ranges, the lab companies have just actually recently dropped down to ranges where the top normal used to be 1100. Now it's got dropped on the 960 or somewhere in that range. So so the levels, the normal levels are dropping. There's a thing called the male normative aging study, huge study done in the northeast, that talks about to stop the generational decline of the saucer levels in men. So men had 30 years ago had a lot more testosterone than they do today.

Okay, what are you talking about? You said, is it an age so men who let's say were 50 in the past would have had more testosterone than men today?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Yeah, yeah. Especially about 50 bucks. 50 bucks. 15% more? Yeah.

2% less testosterone. Okay, so, so what does let's just back up for a second what does testosterone for a man what does it do for him? And again, why I have so many questions, so don't go too deep. Give me that like simple answer. So I can keep going because I need to talk sex. I need to talk about all of the things Yeah, I know my listeners want to hear.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Okay, so the first thing the first thing is that it is it really helps you with Your mood. It For Me. It's a powerful antidepressant. I was in New Zealand for three weeks with my youngest daughter on her. We did it kind of with both my daughters, I did have a father daughter trip one, the oldest one, I took Iceland and the other one went to New Zealand. And I did not want to go across an international border with testosterone. My wife picked it up within 10 days that I was an off by testosterone in terms of my attitude. Really? Yeah. So that's one thing is that you talked about Gilda movie with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon Grumpy Old Ben, that's exactly what happens to go do you see that? You see that? And guys, that happens to become very grumpy. They become you know, what's interesting?

Can I tell you something that just popped in my head? So women, it's known as menopause when we go through what's happening and and men quickly say, you know, Whoa, you're going through that used to be like, Oh, you're having your period or you honor your menstruation cycle all that. But for men, we don't say, Oh, you've your testosterone has declined. Why are you? Why are you being such?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: The challenges and actually I've done a couple of interviews, actually, one of the best ones is with my friend, Elizabeth years, who's an MD, she runs the older longevity Institute. And we did a two part thing on women's hormone replacement therapy. Because that's, that's something that guys and women run into. But the difference is, is that that menopause has to be relatively abrupt. You know, it, it happens within a few a couple of years or whatever, you start seeing the changes, and they tend to be relatively abrupt decline in testosterone happens over a long period of time. So you accommodate to it just like you would to a bad pair of shoes. Okay, so you never really noticed that you're like, you know, you'll wake up one day and go like, you know, or you may say, Oh, I'm not, I don't have the same energy I did when I was in my 20s or 30s. But, but it's you accommodate to it, because it happens over such a long period of time. And so so that's a thing. The other thing is very quickly, the oh, there's lots of rumors, and you can go to Mayo Clinic and look at the consensus paper on the safety of testosterone. It helps you with your heart helps you keep fat off. I mean, I've my family tends to be fat. So it's always a challenge. It helps you keep muscle on, it helps you with your bone density, decisiveness. And as I said, attitude is probably the biggest thing.

So why is there such controversy about when taking testosterone,

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: because the medical field, and my disclaimer is, I'm not a physician consult with the appropriate healthcare professional, you're responsible for your own shit. So that's kind of my medical disclaimer, results will vary too. That's the other one I forgot to mention. So is that because there are a couple of papers that were written a couple of decades ago, that had turned out to be very bad sides. And they've been very, very much disputed, and torn apart. And even one of the oft ones, some of the authors have actually, basically rescinded their conclusions on this. But the FDA put some sort of label on this stuff. And most physicians practice what I call defensive medicine.

That again, what kind of medical offense, defense, it's

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: the better medicine, they they're, they're working now to get sued. And so they it's you have to find a doctor who is knowledgeable in this space. Now, right now, you know, there's all sorts of these tea Mills, all these T clinics that are out there, and some of them may be good, but I suspect that a lot of them are just, I mean, there's a cash cows. These are cash cows, because none of this is covered by insurance. And finding the right doctor to get you through this is and to not be afraid of the out of I'm gonna say, Oh, the normal range values for testosterone.

So really look at those results and really, you know, identify and

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: be skeptical. Yeah, I haven't. I'm, yeah, I'm not able to verify this through an actual lab record, but one of my physician friends who is in this space, told me that 20 years ago, the high normal was 1500. You don't see it in the alphabet. So

now you're saying 960? Yes. So for those listening and wondering, you know, what's wrong with me and I laugh because as you said, you know, menopause I've been perimenopause for I can't tell you how long I'm like. Finally, I'm like, come on what's happening. So I can kind of relate to this whole thing with the testosterone that it's you know, I'm kind of going over time over time. But do you recommend, and I know this is just a recommendation that every man take testosterone?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: I think there's, I must ever use a big statement. But I'm gonna say that the vast majority of men would benefit from testosterone therapy, guys, I mean, a vast, vast majority.

Now, yes. Let me ask you a question though does testosterone also help with sexuality and, and sexual encounters like helping with the whole process of sex?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Okay? The testosterone will affect your sex drive. But testosterone will not improve erectile dysfunction issues.

That's where I was going with it. So when when you think about this, and a lot of women who let's just talk about divorce, I was a divorce woman I was out there, in the, you know, single world for almost seven years, I was surprised at what I noticed, and what people I was working with. were noticing about men. And here's the thing when you get a divorce, and all of a sudden, you go back out there. And you remember what it was like when you were younger, and men were younger, and all of a sudden, you get these men that are like, huh, they're not, you know, it's not what you remember. And so what you're saying is testosterone will help them feel better have a bigger libido, but it will not help them maintain an erection.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Right, right. And there's not and there, there are lots of very good, minimally invasive therapies and actually did the I actually don't know, a couple of podcasts on this. Also, there's a at home, acoustic wave device. There's all sorts of things that are there out there to help improve men's erectile dysfunction. And then the one that's like, you know, the most invasive, but it has the highest success rate is a penile implant.

How many men get that?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: You know, I don't know. I don't know. Because Oh, my

God, that's something we rarely, you know, we rarely hear about that. That is an option for that. Yeah,

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: yeah. Yeah. And so. So I think I think it's, you know, it's out there. And I know, there's lots of big manufacturers in the medical device space, including Boston Scientific, which is a huge, huge component has a future. I believe one of the I have a guy did an interview on my thing that had, he's working on a patch he's looking for, for seed for some more money to help premature ejaculation. And so, so things like that. But

is that a common problem with men in their middle age and beyond?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: I don't know. He seems he seems.

He seems he.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Yeah. There's a market. And that's, that's probably true. To a certain extent, oh, you know, one of the things I talk about, in my, one of my modules in my coaching program, so how to get laid more frequently without begging? And the answer? Yeah, you have to but you have to, you have to buy my program. That's, that's, that's like, that's like,

well give us one tip on that. Because, you know, especially if you've been in a long term relationship, and, you know, if men are not on testosterone, how do you suggest to keep it exciting and spicy?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Trying to think of which one I want to give you.

I am gonna get an answer out of you, even if I do the module.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Yeah. So I'll tell you that most guys have gone to taking things for granted. And so as soon as a woman it's, it's not, it's not a one way, this is not a because I'm talking to a bunch of women. I'm gonna say like, okay, there's two people in this thing. And, you know, I was I was interviewed someone once. And I said, so she was talking about her husband. And I, I said, So when your husband comes home, what does he say? He asked me how my day went. And I went, and I said, Well, what's your reply? He goes like, by, I go, like, well, that's the real conversation opener. tonality that was just like, yeah, that makes me want to really delve into your day and find out more about what went on. But I'll give you one thing. It's a big thing. But if you try to do this without doing all the other stuff in my program, you're gonna screw it up. When was the last time you made your significant other? Feel like a woman?

That's good. And here's what I would challenge men understand what it means to make a woman feel like a woman?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Yeah, yeah. So so so so I think that's a that's a one of the things is that, you know, we take things for granted. And, and I'm gonna give one more thing because no one's gonna listen, you know, you give people advice and they don't listen, they'll follow it until they pay you a lot of money to do it. Yeah, you know that. I mean being until, you know, you can tell somebody, you can give somebody all the information that they need, but until they pay you money for it, they're not going to listen, because there's no, there's no, there's no value to that, I should say, there's no value to it, but there's no, they have no stake in it. Until they until they pay you the bucks. The The other thing that I would say is stop saying, I want more sex. Stop saying

Hold on, who is the guy

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: said the guy that got in and manually say that, I want more sex, I want more sex, I want more sex, I want more sex. And, and quite frankly, that's the kind of a I think, I think for a lot of

laughing as I'm sitting there. I'm like, who's saying that? Is that the man or the woman? As I'm thinking? Well, then

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: you're with me. Maybe sometimes, you know, a lot of times, you know, I don't know, because I hear it from the other. Most Hola. Hola guys complaining that they're not. And and what you're saying when you're saying I want more sex is it says like, you know, let me just use your vagina for a few minutes. And then the, you know, when I'm done, I'll give it back. You be a little used, but you can still have it back. And it's it's kind of like, I'm now there's term. I'm the group that, that we talk a lot about this. And it talks about that. And it says, you know, sex without a relationship is vaginal masturbation.

Hmm. So do you remember that? Do you remember the magazine Cosmo cosmopolitan? Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, you know, so Well, you know, I think it is maybe it's online, I don't even know, because these are not the articles that I'm reading anymore. But I remember that. There was one that said, how many times a week is the norm for people to have sex and a healthy relationship? And I really believe that is where the, you know, we started to put ourselves in, I think the answer was like, you have to be at least doing it two times a week. And so many women started to go to their husbands say, we need to have sex at least twice a week. And, you know, as long as the man was viral enough and reveal virile mural enough to actually make it happen. He's like, Sure, no problem. But what are you seeing as relationships? You know, are we're getting into that next phase, from an age perspective? And are you the expectations that because I know women, as we age, we have a tendency to want more of it. Men, according to some of the research that I have done, don't want it as often as they used to. But what's really the answer in your mind when you're talking about all the men that you work with?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, I think, you know, one thing gets gets back to the whole testosterone thing. Because you can't, you can't fake it to a large extent. The

man can't. Right,

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: exactly, exactly. If we remember that. Was it When Harry Met Sally? Oh, yeah, we,

we all know that ye did. Very well.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: So So I think, you know, it's kind of interesting that you say that because because I'm only hearing it from the I hear it only from guys that you know, their wife is you know, I'm not interested. I'm too tired. In America like I'm getting ready to put put up a LinkedIn post a survey to ask women with that with with a with does that mean when they say that?

He so pads on LinkedIn? That's a good one.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Yeah, that we'll see if it gets gets passed to the LinkedIn sensors. Yeah, exactly. I've had a few things that have not gotten passed on LinkedIn sensors. So So that's Kevin, he phenomena, again, it's really about some of the things that you can do to maintain that relationship. Interesting. And again, I said, you know, you know, but it also depends on where you are. You know, and, you know, if, if you are, you know, kinda like just need a little bit Have a nudge to get more excitement and more fun or whatever interrelationship, that's one thing, but some, some couples have not had sex in years, I now and

my heart when you hear people that, you know have been together and you're just like there's no you know, interest they're not a really what do you recommend to those people that come to you to say, Hey, I haven't had sex with my wife and years?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, I think, you know, it all starts with communication. I mean, it's a it's a hard conversation. It's a it's not a, it's not an easy, it's not a pleasant conversation. But it's a hard conversation and the hard conversations that need to be had, I'm a big fan of Jordan Peterson, he, he writes in his book talks about, you know, if you don't deal with a problem early or challenge early, it tends to grow, it grows and grows in a morphs into something much bigger, maybe you have a lack of relationship at home. But next thing you know, in 15 years, you know, there's a FERS going on and half your shins gone. Maybe more, depending on which state you live in. And, you know, in all sudden, they know that that inattention to that problem, when it was small and easy to deal with, just morphs into something much, much bigger. But the the whole thing is, is is it starts off with communication. I read an interesting thing, which totally stunned me and you're probably maybe you're familiar with, or you know, Dan Kennedy is right. Sure. Yep. Marketing, I was reading. I was reading his book, no BS marketing to the affluent. Yep. And I did not realize and he's a great person of statistics. And you know, all, when he says something, he's got data to back it up. The vast majority of divorces, of couples that have been married for over 20 years, are initiated by women.

Well, also, there's also a misnomer that men are predominantly there's more people cheating from the man. And these days, especially after COVID, it seems like it's become very much, you know, both sides, both sides are doing it. But how relevant, do you think in order now, if you physically can't do it, that's one thing, but I'm talking about relationships that are sexless. I mean, how do you what do you recommend to a man that comes to see you that? It's just like, there's nothing there? Are you? Do you believe that you can have a solid relationship without that intimacy?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: I personally do not. And I know that

I think it's so important, I

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: think, I think people argue that point with me, but I will say that it's, it's not. I don't think it's highly unlikely, you know, a lot of times we're we want to deal with, I used to love statistics. I'm not trying to deal with stuff that's in the four standard deviation. You know, we're like point oh, one percentage possibility. I mean, you know, it's let's just, let's just deal with stuff that actually, you know, has a good chance of happening. And so consequently, I don't think I don't think is possible, we, as humans, we crave physical intimacy, and it's not just sex. You know, physical intimacy is more than just sex. You know,

Maslow's hierarchy, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? That, that that need for love, and that need for connection and that need for me, we were given this incredible, you know, sexual ability. And, you know, I get, I get women that come to me and just say, you know, I'm just, I'm going to be celibate the rest of my life. And with them, I say, I asked the question, you know, why? Why would you want that? Let's work on getting your back out there and feeling like, as I said earlier, you want a day you again, let's start there. But as we're as we're wrapping this up right now, is there is there a, something that has happened with a client that you're like, one of those crazy stories, we all as coaches have crazy stories about people? Do you have any? Do you have any of those like moments where you're like, oh, my gosh, this is new, or can you share one of them?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: You know, it's always interesting how you end up going down a path. And it's really surprising about where you go, and how you end up. And I think the one that kind of there's, there's two that come to mind. One is that rekindling going through my process The process starts actually, with you, the most important relationships you have is with you. And unless that is an order, none of this other stuff works. Okay? If that's an order, you're golden, you're you're on the you're on, you're on the fast track. But if you have a horrible conversation, and so one of the things that in this is kind of in general and this I'm not, I'm not answering your question specifically. But one of the biggest questions, one of the biggest things is the conversations that we have in our head with ourselves. And if you don't have control of that conversation, and I was I was there, I mean, I was, for many years of my life, I was in full victim mode. That's why I was brought up, you know, and nothing was ever my responsibility. Things happen, they were out of my control, blah, blah, blah. You know, my family did that. Like, my, my father was really not particularly he was actually horrible. male role model. You know, the whole thing you know, borrow money from relatives that never got paid back and all sorts of shit like that. said my mother off to work so that he, he didn't work. All that's up. But the the conversations that you have with yourself are the most important. And you need that's the one. That's kind of where that's one of the first things that I do in my program. The first thing is, is actually identify what you want, why you want it. And then how, and the what can I know Simon Sinek says, start with y and I'm gonna like no bullshit. Start with what you have the y comes after the Y. But y doesn't come before the what he likes to hear. Yeah, I mean, do I remember? I'd love to be honest. Oh, that's bullshit. Start with what? And the why actually will sometimes clarify whether the what is really something that you want? Or is it something that you engage in wishful thinking? For decades, for decades, I talked about wanting to learn how to yodel, because I thought it'd be kind of fun to go to Switzerland and yodel. They were they were, they were they were redneck Festival, which is the the elites. But it's a red deck, where they have a yodeling contest and, and Boulder throwing and that kind of shit. But, but I realized that when I was presented with the opportunity to take yodeling lessons, I didn't act on it. So I didn't want I didn't really want it was just wishful thinking.

But let me ask you what if so you, you're saying start with the what? And can a man I know that we say women can fall in love with men over time, they may not be physically attracted to them out of the gates, but they can become physically attracted. Can men do the same with women? Can they? If they don't find the woman attractive initially, and we're talking sex still? Are they able to have sex with a woman that they don't find attractive?

Yeah, well there is there anything on this question? So you better you better answer it really well?

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Well, the obvious answer is alcohol.

I've heard that you actually, as a man, if you're not physically attracted, there is I mean, I guess now with drugs, you could potentially have that happen with a little alcohol and the Scotch included by

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: you know, Hillary, I mean, I know it's a little bit about this whole libido thing, too. Which is, which has maybe nothing to do with the, with the actual woman in the relationship. It has to do with you know, and guy. I mean, I use this line all the time, you know, oh, it's not you. It's me. And I actually thought that that was true, but it was actually the editing rally. Actually, it was me. But I was lying. I was lying. And I was saying that you guys do that all the time. Which brings me to rule number three, I have rules of life. Rule number three is all boys lie, the more they want something, the better they lie. And for if you have girls, the first live girl will hear is love you forever. As they're trying, as they're trying to get your their hand down your pants.

Well, Doctor, or is unfortunately we have to end it on that note. And I want to say

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: can I say just one more thing? I want to circle back to this because it's just really important. When we're talking about testosterone. What's happening also is that there is a crisis in testosterone in young men. There are men showing up young man in her mid in early 20s. In doctors clinics, with numbers still 300 Now away, why do you think? Yeah, call it is called endocrine disrupting compounds, and maybe we can talk about that at some point of future but it's It's a real issue. And I believe that it's playing out in so many different ways. Especially a lot of women are saying, like, we're the man. So basically has to do with testicles not developing properly. And so they're it's not just testosterone, but it's also a sperm.

That is That breaks my heart. And if anyone is listening, I think this is super important to make sure that our kids secure this message and go and get help, because it's not normal. And there are things that you can do well, as we are wrapping, how can, how can people get in touch with you hear more, and get into the world of Dr. Orest.

Dr. Orest Komarnyckyj: Okay, the first thing is, you need to subscribe to my free digital magazine. And you get that by going to the standard dot Academy, board slash magazine. And it's a articles on several people that I've interviewed, they wrote articles to kind of to write articles. One of the articles when the featured articles is a one secret place to touch a woman. And the secret place is not her clitoris, because that's not a secret place. You know, everybody knows that. And, and the other thing is, listen to me, my podcast will guide talks to me, and you can find me at the standard dot Academy. And if you want, so you can get on a short discovery call with me. And we can find out whether well whether I can help you or you're just well, you're just a lost cause. I'll tell you that too.

We're gonna make sure that we have all of this in the show notes. And as we wrap up, I just want to say thank you so much for being here for giving us some of this wisdom that you have acquired over the years working with men. And for all of those listening. If you have found this to be something that you're really resonating with these conversations, please make sure that you go over and give us a five star review. It would mean the world to me and also share this share the relaunch podcasts with others that you know, it could help out with in their own relaunches. And so until next time, make sure that you are living now loving now and relaunching now. Take care. Until next time, everyone, bye bye.

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