ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders

Facing Uncertainty: How to Lean into Possibility with ADHD

In today's episode of ADHD Powerful Possibilities, we're diving deep into the role of uncertainty in procrastination and the impact it has on people with ADHD, especially those diagnosed later in life. We explore why we often hold onto the familiar, even when it doesn't serve us, and how building tolerance for uncertainty can unlock new possibilities.

I'll also share practical strategies you can use right away to expand your capacity for uncertainty—one of the most powerful skills you can cultivate for growth.

Episode Highlights:

• The link between uncertainty, avoidance, and procrastination for people with ADHD.
• Understanding the fast and slow life history strategies and how they shape our approach to uncertainty.
• Practical steps you can take today to increase your tolerance for uncertainty and lean into new possibilities.
• Cognitive restructuring as a powerful tool for breaking the procrastination cycle.

Common Questions:

• Why does uncertainty feel so overwhelming for those with ADHD?
• How does a history of unpredictability impact our ability to plan for the future?
• What are some simple ways I can expand my tolerance for uncertainty?

Notable Quotes:

• "In the universe of possibility, we set the context and let life unfold." - Ben Zander
• "Procrastination is an adaptive response to uncertainty. The trick is moving from a fast life strategy into a slower one, where planning for the future becomes possible."
• "Growth only happens when we take steps forward without knowing the answer."

Connect with Katherine here:

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Permission Ignition: My current hybrid group and 1:1 coaching program designed to expand possibility thinking. Learn more at lightbulbadhd.com

Connect with Katherine:

• Join my upcoming group program: Permission Ignition.
• Sign up for my email newsletter for more ADHD-friendly strategies and support from my website.
• Find more resources at lightbulbadhd.com.

Sirois, F. M., & Giguère, B. (2018). Giving in when feeling less good: Procrastination, action control, and social temptations. British Journal of Social Psychology, 57(2), 404-427. Available at: [https://eprints.whiterose.ac.uk/126516/](https://eprints.whiterose.ac.uk/126516/)

Gagnon, J., Dionne, F., & Pychyl, T. A. (2016). Committed action: An initial study on its association to procrastination in academic settings. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 5(2), 97-102. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Joel-Gagnon-4/publication/301743242_Committed_action_An_initial_study_on_its_association_to_procrastination_in_academic_settings/links/577bb37d08ae213761caae05/Committed-action-An-initial-study-on-its-association-to-procrastination-in-academic-settings.pdf

Clayton, M. et al. (2023). The Impact of Emotion Regulation Improvements on Intolerance of Uncertainty During Emotion Regulation Therapy. Journal of Emotion and Psychopathology, 1(1). Available at: https://doi.org/10.55913/joep.v1i1.36

Topel, S., Ma, I., Sleutels, J., van Steenbergen, H., de Bruijn, E.R.A., & van Duijvenvoorde, A.C.K. (2023). Expecting the unexpected: a review of learning under uncertainty across development. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 23(3), 718-738. Available at: https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-023-01098-0

Lim, A.J., & Javadpour, S. (2021). Into the Unknown: Uncertainty and Procrastination in Students From a Life History Perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. Available at: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.717380

Fay, D., & Sonnentag, S. (2012). Within-person fluctuations of proactive behavior: How affect and experienced competence regulate work behavior. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 85(2), 516-536. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/08959285.2011.631647

Dugas, M.J., & Robichaud, M. (2007). Cognitive-behavioral treatment for generalized anxiety disorder: From science to practice. The Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, 2(1), 1-10. Available at: https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203891964

Sahib, A., Chen, J., Cárdenas, D., & Calear, A.L. (2023). Intolerance of uncertainty and emotion regulation: A meta-analytic and systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 101, 102270. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2023.102270

Hunt, C., Exline, J.J., Fletcher, T.L., & Teng, E.J. (2022). Intolerance of uncertainty prospectively predicts the transdiagnostic severity of emotional psychopathology: Evidence from a Veteran sample. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 86, 102530. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2022.102530

Life History Theory References

Del Giudice, M., Gangestad, S. W., & Kaplan, H. S. (2015). Life history theory and evolutionary psychology. In D. M. Buss (Ed.), The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology (pp. 88-114).

Griskevicius, V., Tybur, J. M., Del Giudice, M., (2013). The influence of mortality and socioeconomic status on risk and delay discounting.

Ellis, B. J., Figueredo, A. J., Brumbach, B. H., & Schlomer, G. L. (2009). Fundamental dimensions of environmental risk.

Chen, B., & Chang, L. (2016). The positive association between procrastination and a fast life history orientation. Journal of Individual Differences, 37(4), 230-239.

Chen, B., & Qu, Y. (2017). The role of environmental unpredictability in procrastination. Journal of Adolescence, 62, 18-26.

Speaker: 00:00:00

Welcome back my friend.

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It's ADHD, powerful possibilities

with your friend, coach Katherine.

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Today it is lovely and sunny in Edinburgh.

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It's almost the end of November, 2024.

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And I'm recording this before

I start preparing for my final

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group program of the year, which

has called permission ignition.

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I'll tell you more about

that later in the episode.

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But right now.

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We are going to look at something.

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A little bit different.

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Given the events of the last few weeks, I

thought we should talk about uncertainty.

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And how it impacts people

with ADHD, especially.

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Many of us who are diagnosed later

in life are already juggling.

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Quite a heavy load.

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Both in terms of the responsibilities

that all adults face in the world, but

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also because we are still compensating

for our executive dysfunction.

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And so quite often we.

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Unconsciously, hold onto things

very tightly and struggled

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for, and things are uncertain.

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Which is sometimes where people

get confused on my autistic.

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Is it ADHD?

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Obviously, I'm not here

to diagnose anybody.

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I'm a coach.

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I would say uncertainty

and how we respond to it.

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Can be really telling in terms of our

overall emotional health and wellbeing and

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how we go forward and grow in the future.

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Let's begin with a quote by Brene brown

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she wrote.

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Vulnerability is not winning or losing.

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It's having the courage

to show up and be seen.

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When we have no control over the outcome.

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Vulnerability.

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Isn't a weakness.

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It's our greatest measure of courage.

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And that is from the

reckoning in her book.

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Rising strong.

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And the reason I use that quote

is because having the courage

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to live with uncertainty.

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10 make us feel incredibly vulnerable.

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Not knowing.

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and, not having a

guarantee of the outcome.

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Can take a toll on us.

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When we are still trying

to control things.

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Let's think about what

uncertainty can trigger.

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For people with ADHD, one of the

main struggles that we talk about.

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Is procrastination.

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And as you know, if you've got my ebook.

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Procrastination.

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One of the things that can hold us and

keep us stuck is perfectionism because

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we're uncertain of the outcome, or

we're not clear that we're going to be

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able to reach the outcome that we want.

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And the fear behind the questions

that keep us procrastinating are

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things like, can I finish this?

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Will I like the result?

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Will other people like the result.

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And these can be completely paralyzing.

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Which is the subject of my

most popular Tiktok to date.

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it's got something like 1.5 million views.

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how completely bizarre.

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But when we're faced with uncertainty,

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Our brain takes the easy way out.

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And that often means.

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We avoid the task all together.

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I'm not going to be somebody

who says you can't avoid the

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task altogether all the time.

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But I do know that our brain can take

the most spectacular rabbit holes

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and diversions to avoid uncertainty.

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And to avoid that

feeling of vulnerability.

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And the research on uncertainty.

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Shows that there's a really strong

relationship or correlation.

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Between.

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intolerance of uncertainty

and increased procrastination.

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Nobody is surprised, but it's

always great to see some data.

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It comes down to that

avoidance of discomfort.

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And the 2018 study showed that there

was a really strong connection.

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Betweenour intolerance

of uncertainty or I U.

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Is it shortened?

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And the amount of

procrastination we engage in.

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So when we are procrastinating, One

of the questions that we can add to

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our toolkit is "am I avoiding this,

because I'm not certain of the outcome.

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And what does not being certain

of the outcome mean for me?

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What does it mean about me?

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I'm going to share a composite story.

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Uh, based on a few clients,

because obviously I don't want

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to break any kind of confidence.

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But I had a client who was

very unhappy in their job.

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they were looking around for new work,

but they just couldn't make the leap

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because what was there was unknown.

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And uncertain.

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The job that they were in left

them feeling deeply dissatisfied.

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There were parts of it

that were still okay.

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But even at work, the avoidance behavior.

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I had become really problematic.

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And that led to more snacking.

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More social media time.

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Overall a decrease in their

performance in the office.

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As you can imagine nobody was

happy with this situation.

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But when we're avoiding

uncertainty, We often settle.

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And nobody's happy when we settle.

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So one of the most important

things that we worked on.

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was increasing their

capacity for tolerating.

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Not knowing.

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And actually not knowing became

one of their favorite things.

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Instead of, I don't know.

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I'm not going to cope.

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I'm just going to stay where I am.

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they leant in to, I don't know.

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Isn't that amazing.

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how fascinating.

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I've got no idea what will happen.

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The possibilities are endless.

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And it's a possibility light bulb

moment that I want you to reach

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for by the end of today's episode.

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And that's why it really matters.

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That we face uncertainty.

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Obviously, depending on your history,

if you have a history of trauma,

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your capacity to tolerate that in

your body and your nervous system may

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be different from somebody else's.

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So this is a generalized

comment, not an instruction.

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but growth only happens.

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When we can take steps forward

without knowing the answer.

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And the leaning into that uncertainty

allows us to build muscles.

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That cope with many challenges in life.

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And yes, I've got data that

shows this is the case.

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When we lean into that uncertainty.

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We're actually leaning into

possibility and possibility is

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where we really start to see.

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Human growth and potential take off..

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And I don't say potential in the way

that people write it on your report card.

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I mean potential.

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As in literally anything

is possible for you.

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And at this point, I'm going

to mention permission ignition.

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This is my current experiment and I'm

experimenting with it because I can.

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It's great fun.

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It's a based on my five

fundamental principles of growth.

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And possibility mindset.

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But at the moment.

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I'm only offering it in a group

or I've got five one-to-one slots.

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And.

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Maybe next year, it will

become a toolkit or a course.

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But I feel like the group and the

one-to-one work is where we really

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thrive and do our best when we have

that human input and connection.

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And part of the course is

understanding that shift.

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From.

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I'm, uncertain, I'm uncomfortable into.

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This is possible and I'm excited.

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Even if it feels new and a bit stretchy.

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It's like trying to blow up a balloon.

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The first time you try is

going to be really difficult.

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The next time you blew into that balloon.

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It gets to that size and

then grows a little bit more.

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but, in the group setting

and then the one-to-one work.

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We can do that in a really supported way.

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And one of my favorite quotes from Ben

Zander, which informs a lot of my work,

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is that in the universe of possibility.

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We set the context and let life unfold.

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I'm inviting you into my

universe of possibility.

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And the context that

we're going to grow in.

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I want you to imagine that as a soggy

piece of kitchen paper, And in the

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1970s and eighties, if you were a

child, You would have grown seeds

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on a soggy piece of kitchen paper.

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So imagine your context is the thing

that we're going to leave those

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seeds on so that they can grow into.

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I don't know some delicious,

healthy zingy, cress.

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So the context is either.

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A dry piece of kitchen roll.

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It's not very exciting.

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Or a soggy one, which might

look a bit different but

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allows life to actually grow.

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In the journal of anxiety

disorders a couple of years ago.

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There was an amazing article.

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Really thought provoking.

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And that said people who are trained.

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To tolerate uncertainty.

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were actually more adaptable.

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And had fewer anxiety related

problems in their day-to-day life.

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Can you imagine?

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If people with ADHD who let's face it.

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Often have disruptions in our daily life.

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were able to really embrace

uncertainty and really embrace

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that possibility mindset.

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Because when we think

about it, Our background.

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Means that procrastination

and avoidance makes sense.

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This has kind of been described in life

history theory Which basically means.

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our would experiences in our past.

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Determine how we spend

our valuable resources.

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Our life history will determine

where we spend our time.

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, what energy we give to things and

where we use our resources, our money

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or other resources available to us.

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So if we grew up in a neurodivergent

household, Which didn't know

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it was a neurodivergent.

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Household.

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The world felt so chaotic and confusing.

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We are going to grow up with

a very different experience.

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To somebody who's had a very safe.

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Predictable.

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Existence.

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Who's been able to understand

why things happen in the order.

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They do.

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And so if you grew up in that very

safe and predictable pattern, you're

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going to be able to think longer term.

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Because things like studying over

the course of five or six years.

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Investing for your future

in 30 or 40 years time.

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That makes sense.

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If your life is safe and predictable.

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If you live in a constant

state of uncertainty.

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It makes no sense whatsoever.

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And that's where many of us.

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With ADHD come from.

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This fast life history strategy

it's about survival right now.

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And how just procrastination.

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Tie into this.

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Well,

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Procrastination is connected because

when we live in this unpredictable,

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fast life history strategy where

we don't know what's coming next.

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We're going to prioritize immediate

comfort and gratification over,

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a further away pay off it's,

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if our future rewards are uncertain.

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Somebody who has a fast

life history, ADHD.

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It's always going to choose the

immediate short term guaranteed reward.

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And that that's from a study in 2016.

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Your brain is making the best

prediction for the information

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and data that you have.

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It's a bit like when you prompt chat GPT.

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It's only going to operate on the

information that you've put in.

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Or it's no, I think it

can search the internet.

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But up until very recently, you had to

give all of the information, the context.

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To that language model, because

it was making a prediction

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based on what it had available.

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And your brain does the same thing.

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Albeit on a very much larger scale.

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Procrastination.

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Is an adaptive response

to the uncertainty.

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And the environment that we live in.

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both inside And outside.

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Personally, I know that with ADHD.

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My focus and energy are

unpredictable, at best.

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And so I leverage lots of things

in technology and in my household.

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To manage that.

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But if you don't have that, And

life is just very unpredictable

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from start to finish.

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You're always going to procrastinate

on the further away worthwhile, but

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less rewarding in the short term.

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Tasks.

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And so the trick is figuring

out how we move from this.

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Fast life history.

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into a slower one.

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And I think the key to that is

thinking about increasing our.

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Uncertainty tolerance.

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And of course it's powerful possibilities.

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So we always have some strategies

that you can take away and play

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with in between our episodes.

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So strategies to develop

your uncertainty tolerance.

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Number one.

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Taking small risks daily.

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I do mean really small, your.

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You're probably going to bebe

offended at how tiny these risks are.

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But it's all about blowing up that

balloon a little bit more each day.

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Number one.

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Small manageable uncertainties.

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You could try.

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Sending an email after

only reading it once.

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If you're somebody who obsessively rereads

their emails before they send them.

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And second guesses, what the

other person's gonna think.

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So a manageable.

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Stress uncertainty.

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There is only reading it

once and then pressing send.

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You might prefer practical strategies

to increase uncertainty tolerance.

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The only affect you.

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For instance.

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If you get out of bed and walk

around your house in one direction.

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What happens if you go around a

chair in the different direction.

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If you are somebody who walks to work

or to school the same way every day.

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Can you change your route?

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A little bit.

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And ideally change it quite frequently.

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It doesn't have to be much, but.

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What happens when you're going a

different way on the same street,

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or you're taking a different route.

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In a direction that you would

normally not be conscious of.

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Your brain is recognizing that

this is an uncertain outcome.

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But you're still safe.

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Take a different path home from your walk.

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It might sound like it's too

small to make a difference.

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But because your brain loves

things to stay the same.

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Even with ADHD.

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Pushing it that little bit.

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Teaches your brain that this level

of uncertainty is absolutely fine.

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And you can, you can boost it even more.

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By being conscious of.

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Reframing it as a possibility.

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saying:.

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I'm going to take a different

path home from my walk.

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I wonder what's going to happen.

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What are the possibilities

that I'm opening up?

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Will I see something different?

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Perhaps I could meet somebody.

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I might discover a new tree or plant.

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I really love that was my favorite tactic.

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In the summer.

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Second thing is to use positive

reinforcement and I do say positive.

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Rather as possible.

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Celebrate.

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And really reinforce

that positive outcome.

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For when you successfully handle something

that is unpredictable or uncertain.

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Not the outcome it doesn't

matter what the outcome is.

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The celebration is about you.

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I actively doing something that wasn't

guaranteed and felt uncomfortable.

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If you navigate something

that feels uncertain.

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Check-in and reward yourself.

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You might want to have a buddy

or a friend that you text.

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And that's one of the reasons

why I'm using slack in our

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permission ignition group.

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Is to give each other that support.

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When we try to expand our possibilities.

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You might give yourself a high five.

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Um, I have a.

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GIF or a GIF of Tina Fey.

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Doing the high five to herself.

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And that's my favorite method.

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Well done me.

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When we acknowledge our courage.

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And our ability to tolerate uncertainty.

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We're creating a positive

feedback loop for our brain.

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And it thinks.

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Oh, I got a reward for doing that.

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: 00:16:13

I'm going to get some more.

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: 00:16:14

Because remember we need more

frequent, positive reward.

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And acknowledgement.

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than your average bear.

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: 00:16:21

and, finally, another technique

that we can borrow from CBT,

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which obviously I'm not doing CBT.

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Is cognitive restructuring.

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I want to say very briefly.

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I know lots of people have a

negative perception of CBT.

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: 00:16:37

Especially if they have ADHD.

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: 00:16:39

It does have evidence for being effective.

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: 00:16:42

There is good data.

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: 00:16:43

However it must be adapted

and specifically designed

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: 00:16:48

and delivered in a way.

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: 00:16:50

That is appropriate for your

particular kind of ADHD.

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: 00:16:54

And that's where it

gets difficult because.

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When it's rolled out as

a model and a manual.

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: 00:17:00

It's very difficult for many people too.

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: 00:17:02

Give it some nuance, which

is what your brain needs.

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: 00:17:05

Because the data shows it's effective in

this format and people are worried that if

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: 00:17:11

they, if the adapt is not going to work.

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: 00:17:13

So let's use some of the strategies.

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: 00:17:15

and, we'll say thank you very much

and adapt them for you and your brain.

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: 00:17:19

So cognitive restructuring, which we're

going to play with today is where we take.

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A, very negative and

anxiety inducing, thought.

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: 00:17:28

And we.

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Literally take it apart.

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: 00:17:30

And put it back together in a better way.

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Restructuring.

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And I'm a very visual thinker.

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So I'm imagining.

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: 00:17:38

A big block of Lego being taken apart

and then put together in a different way.

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: 00:17:42

And you can get kits now where

you do that with Lego, I got one

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: 00:17:46

from my, my daughter last week.

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: 00:17:48

And it's a flower pot, but

it's also a Wellington.

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: 00:17:51

So we're going to take that really

unpleasant, negative thought, and we're

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: 00:17:56

going to turn it into a flower pot.

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: 00:17:58

Or Wellington.

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: 00:17:59

So let's use some examples

to get you started.

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: 00:18:01

One of the negative and

anxiety-inducing thoughts.

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: 00:18:05

That keeps us stuck and

avoiding uncertainty is if I

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: 00:18:09

fail, everyone will judge me.

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: 00:18:11

People will think I am X, Y or Z..

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: 00:18:14

There's always a kind of lack of safety.

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: 00:18:17

You'll be pushed out of the group.

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: 00:18:19

And restructuring that we might say.

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: 00:18:22

I'm not going to do this

perfectly first time.

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: 00:18:25

But it's another chance for me to learn.

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: 00:18:28

The next time I'll do it better.

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: 00:18:30

And other people won't judge me

as harshly as I judge myself.

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: 00:18:35

And if they do.

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: 00:18:36

It's probably because

they're scared of failing.

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: 00:18:39

As well.

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: 00:18:40

Obviously it doesn't need to be that long.

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: 00:18:42

But just as an example to get you started.

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: 00:18:45

We are so critical of ourselves.

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: 00:18:48

We offer grace and compassion

to other people so much.

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: 00:18:53

And yet.

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: 00:18:53

Refuse to give it to ourselves.

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: 00:18:55

Other people are generally going

to be much more compassionate,

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: 00:18:59

much more tolerant of you.

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: 00:19:01

Maybe not getting it.

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: 00:19:03

Exactly right.

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: 00:19:04

And they're more worried about

what you're thinking about them.

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: 00:19:07

So this, this core, one

of people will judge me.

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: 00:19:11

We definitely need to

restructure that one.

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: 00:19:13

And what that's doing is it's reducing

the emotional impact of the uncertainty.

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: 00:19:20

It's re reducing the lack of safety.

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: 00:19:23

And it allows us to move into

less fear-driven direction where

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: 00:19:29

we actually take steps where we.

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: 00:19:31

I actually get into action.

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: 00:19:34

Instead of being held, stuck with fear.

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: 00:19:38

And so your first step would

be to catch the thought.

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: 00:19:41

And to recognize where you

are avoiding uncertainty.

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: 00:19:45

And that's obviously one of the things

we work on and permission ignition.

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: 00:19:49

Identifying the thought patterns and

the behavior that's connected with them.

403

: 00:19:55

And then slowly unpacking

them and restructuring them.

404

: 00:19:59

And changing the beliefs that, for

example, everyone's going to judge me.

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: 00:20:04

I can't cope with uncertainty.

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: 00:20:06

Uncertainty is actually where all

the really exciting things happen.

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: 00:20:11

Because it's really possibility.

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: 00:20:14

So for this week.

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: 00:20:15

I would love you to practice

spotting uncertainty and your

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: 00:20:20

avoidance of uncertainty.

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: 00:20:22

And then, once you've spotted

the uncertainty and avoidance.

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: 00:20:27

How can you gently increase

your capacity to tolerate it?

413

: 00:20:32

How can you gently grow?

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: 00:20:34

Your tolerance of that uncertainty.

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: 00:20:37

Share it with me.

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: 00:20:38

and let's practice building

that skill together.

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: 00:20:41

So while leaning into uncertainty is

definitely going to feel uncomfortable.

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: 00:20:46

I can guarantee.

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: 00:20:48

It's an incredible tool

for personal growth.

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: 00:20:51

Because when we lean into uncertainty,

We're actually stepping into possibility.

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: 00:20:58

And it doesn't have to be

more than a little bit.

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: 00:21:01

At a time.

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: 00:21:01

Thank you for being here today.

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: 00:21:04

Thank you for listening and

thank you for all the support.

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: 00:21:08

I'm, so delighted to meet some

of you in real life and online.

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: 00:21:12

If you found this episode valuable,

please leave, review a comment,

427

: 00:21:17

share it with somebody else.

428

: 00:21:19

And as always stay curious.

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: 00:21:22

stay powerful.

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: 00:21:23

And take care of yourself.