Ah, the age old question: Can we have it all? But, what does that really mean? I want to reframe that question in this episode because everyone’s definition of “all” is different.

When thinking about your own “all,” remember that everything falls into these 3 categories: health, wealth, and relationships. What does “all” feel like in each of those? 

• Own your desires
• Tap into your inner adventurer and begin living out your desires
• Check your emotions around believing that you can have it all
• Learn and use tools for managing your emotions
• What are those key foundational beliefs and strategies that would make you feel like you have it all?

When you find the clarity and the tools to help you really embody the life you want, it’s not a question anymore. You DO have it all.

Everyone has authority. Your authority matters! www.monetizeyourauthority.com

Join the conversation inside our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/profitablehappyceo

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Music credit: Like We Do It by Grace Mesa

A Podcast Launch Bestie production

Hey, true seekers.

Let's ask ourselves the age old question.

Can we have it all?

Listen, the answer is yes, but of course there's so much more to this question,

and I wanna reframe this question for us today because it gets old, doesn't it?

This question is something that is asked of women, but of

course it's not asked of men.

I mean, I'm not blaming men, but the obvious is that the

expectations on women are different.

Right.

We are required to be the soccer mom, peeling the oranges while we're

professional and creating this seven figure business while we're teaching our

kids how to be an adult while planning vacations and play dates and filling out

forms and signups, and then taking kids to those practices that they don't wanna go.

Just me.

What does it really mean?

When we say, can we have it all, we need to have the foundations that

allow us to define our own version of all, and then we can go for all.

So what I wanna talk about today is a few things that I'd love

for you to think about because we are all here to create an impact.

We've all been through some stuff.

And we have earned the right to create our own definition of can we have it all.

So when we create that definition of can we have it all without pressure, then

we discover more often than not that what we've created is actually amazing.

It's actually something that, you know, the old version

of us couldn't even fathom.

So let's talk about.

Can we have it all?

And how you actually do have your own version of all.

The first piece that I truly like just feel so deeply in my bones is that.

We have to own what it is we desire.

Now think of that word desire.

It's so funny when I, first started using that word, it's got a little, kind

of, feels a little dirty, doesn't it?

Like, you know, do you desire, like, I think of like, you know,

those romantic movies where the guys throws the woman on the bed

and they make mad, passionate love.

Like, is that what you desire?

There's no judgment, right?

Or maybe you desire that scene from a movie you've seen of the woman

who's gone off on this retreat, this solo retreat, and she's sipping the

coffee and she's looking out over this beautiful mountain view, just reflecting

and creating a future for herself.

Maybe that's what you desire.

Whatever it is that you desire, there is 100% zero judgment, but imagine.

If we actually make those desires a priority, because we're here

to create an impact, right?

But if we don't have a desire for that impact and what it will mean

on our life, then it's just going to be one more thing on our to-do list.

It's not gonna be impact created out of desire.

It's going to be impact created out of pressure, which is not impact at all.

Right.

It's, it's just something that we did that exhausted us or overwhelmed us.

And so, you know, when we create impact out of overwhelm, we're just suffering.

And so what if it was as easy as owning our desires?

And listen, the reason we don't own our desires is because we

weren't conditioned to do so.

We weren't trained to do so.

Right.

I don't know about you, but I never talked about or heard about

my mom going after her desires.

Right?

My dad didn't encourage my mom to go after desires.

It just wasn't like part of the conversation.

It wasn't good or bad, it just wasn't Part of the conversation.

And so while it sounds so easy, we have this judgment of like, oof,

that feels like it could be selfish.

Or maybe someone's told you you're being selfish, right?

If you go off on that business retreat or if you, invest in yourself, or if

you, you know, off and get a massage when you know your husband takes

the kid to practice, there's all of these voices that are telling us.

what's okay, what's not okay when we're owning our desires.

But think about.

How we can own them for ourselves.

Without that judgment, the biggest judgment is on ourselves.

If that judgment went away, don't you think we would do more of what we want?

Because I come from the philosophy of live your life first and the

revenue, the impact will follow.

If we're not living the life that we love, then who are we attracting

into our mission, into our business?

Probably not a whole lot because people are attracted to people

who go after their desires.

And so when we notice that, We have resistance to our desires.

Like I hear this a lot.

Like I, you know, I'm always talking about, listen, if you wanna create

powerful content that attracts your dream clients, you need to live your life.

You need to create experiences.

Your ordinary experiences become someone else's extraordinary inspiration.

And if you can remember that.

You'll remember how important it's to tap into your desire and

live your life based on desire.

And so one of the things I hear is like, well, I desire a luxury vacation, right?

I desire a first class plane ticket to Bali or wherever it is you wanna go and.

I encourage someone who says, you know, I desire this but I can't afford

it yet, to really look at what that experience, that desire gives them.

Maybe that desire for that luxury experience gives you that ability to feel

new, to be in a new place, experience something new, to have a beginner's

mindset, to really just like tap into that inner adventure or that inner explorer.

Well, I wonder if you could do that.

Now.

Today in your own city, could you explore a part of the city

that you've never been to?

Could you take a walk instead of out of your normal routine, go to

another neighborhood, take a walk and explore that neighborhood.

There are so many things that we can do that tap into that desired result

that we want, and when we do that, We create this sense of momentum,

the sense of like, yes, I'm going after my desire, and we get inspired.

And when we get inspire ourselves, we can inspire others.

And so can you own your desire?

Can you really just be 100% honest?

What do you really want?

How do you give yourself a level of what you want right now?

Okay, so if you wanna have it all, we need to know what.

All looks like, and I'm willing to bet that all looks like

going after your desires.

So the next piece to this, I really want you to think about how your emotions play

into that belief that you can have it all.

So if we've attached to what all means for us, right?

We've attached to that desire, we're living out that desire.

It's not just what we're doing, but how are we feeling while we're doing that?

The need to regulate our own emotions is the one skillset, the one tool

that changes the lives of my clients.

It changed my life.

It's something that I have been doing since my very first coach eight years ago.

I didn't call it emotional regulation.

I didn't know what I was actually doing.

But I noticed that my patterns were changing in my relationships.

I noticed that I wasn't getting so angry.

I wasn't getting so like in this self-defeating mode,

I was changing my outlook.

And as I hone these skills and as I began teaching other people these

skills, I realize what I'm doing.

Is the reason adversity is your superpower.

So when we look at adversity as your superpower, the reason it's your

superpower is because it allows you to learn to feel the distressing emotions,

those uncomfortable emotions when we allow ourselves to get comfortable.

Being uncomfortable, then we're giving ourselves the reward on the

other side of that discomfort, and so often we are protecting ourselves

from these distressing emotions.

We sweep 'em under the rug, we ignore them.

We just move on, and we don't give ourselves the gift of having it all

because we don't allow the growth that comes from seeing ourselves through that

emotion, from feeling safe in feeling.

Those emotions.

That is a skillset, and when I walked out on that TEDx stage, I gave a

talk around the four choices to overcome adversity, and what I didn't

talk about was the power behind the choice is feeling your feelings.

If you wanna take radical ownership for your results to get better results,

we need to know what it feels like when you don't get results, right?

We need to feel that we need to choose our emotions.

We need to create tools and skill sets to have a resilient mind.

And that just takes practice.

It's just a competency.

But when you can commit to emotional management, which just means

observing, what am I feeling?

And really look at how you're making that choice to feel that emotion

and how that choice is impacting the results that you're experiencing.

And if you could choose anything, how would you choose to feel?

And so when you create tools around this, I, I share these types of tools inside

Clarity to clients because this is the thing that makes your strategies hum.

This is the thing that makes you feel like you do have it all.

You're done answering the question, can we have it all?

It's, I do have it all.

Because I've created, based on my desires, I'm choosing how I feel.

I'm allowing myself the safety to feel the uncomfortable, and so when you're able

to do that, we're able to step into the next piece of having it all, which is.

Really something that is not very sexy, but the way we

feel about can we have it all?

Sometimes it feels hard and heavy, right?

Like, oh my gosh, that feels like so much.

It even feels like a burden, just a asking and answering that question.

But when we can look at it from a foundational level to say, If there

were some key foundational strategies that I put in place in my life, would I

feel like I was already achieving all?

So let's look at those things because everything important

can fit into three categories.

Health, wealth, and relationships.

I mean, think about that.

Everything that's important will fit into health, wealth, and relationships.

Now, in the online world, you've probably heard all about health,

wealth and relationships.

It's a really easy way to figure out what your niche, your sub niche is.

But what we're talking about here is.

Going after what you desire so that you can feel like you have it all.

Cuz that's really what it's about, right?

That emotional management, just like really feeling like you have it all

based on your own definition of all.

So when we do this, we can look at our relationship and say,

okay, what are those foundational.

Beliefs and strategies that I have so that I'm able to grow together

with those people that I love.

What are those patterns that I'm committed to stepping out of?

What are those things about myself I'm willing to change?

What am I willing to commit to to get the relationship I want?

Those are the foundational questions that if we ask an answer and commit,

that will allow us to feel like we're having it all in our relationships.

What about health?

Without health, we have nothing.

I remember sitting in the NICU for five months straight day and night, caring

for my little baby who was born, not able to take his own breath, not able to

move, and I remember thinking over and over, without health, we have nothing.

Our life entirely stopped because without health, we have nothing.

And that experience really allowed me to get really serious about my health.

I've always been a healthy person.

I've always loved exercise.

I was a kinesiology major.

I just love activity.

I love skiing.

I love all of the things.

I also love food.

I.

And chocolate.

But I really got serious about what health meant to me through that experience,

because if I wasn't healthy, who was gonna care for this special needs baby?

And so when we can really look at our patterns of health, can

we have it all in our health?

Yeah.

When we ask ourselves the right questions.

So how are you making your health a priority?

What are those habits that you are willing to commit to?

What are those things you're willing to stop doing?

Because without your health, you will not have impact.

Without your health, you won't have relationships.

Without health, you don't have anything.

And so can we focus on having It all means just our health.

My gosh.

If we just have our health, think about how much better life would be.

The next piece is wealth.

And when I say wealth, I mean what it really actually takes to build wealth,

to create something that is meaningful and changes lives for other people.

So when you look at the foundations of wealth, I feel so strongly that

if you can map your foundations, For wealth, you have the tool set

to make unlimited amounts of money.

This is why I created Clarity to Clients Online Business Accelerator.

I got rid of all the fluff and I said, what are those business foundations

that will allow my clients to have the skillset, the mindset, the tool set to

attract clients over and over and over, no matter what's happening in their life,

no matter how much money they have in their bank account, I am arming them.

With those foundational strategies and mindsets and tactics that they need.

To change their life, because that's what's important.

If you wanna have it all, you need to create the competency to have it all.

You have the desire, you have the emotional regulation.

So what are your foundational competencies?

Do you know how to articulate your authority to create an

offer that people want to build?

An audience, to have a sales funnel, to create a marketing strategy

that's based on your authority to create a closing strategy.

Like ask yourself, how am I getting people into my business?

And once they're there, how am I converting them into clients?

And once they're clients, how am I ensuring that they are getting

the r o roi that I promise?

I am so passionate about these foundations because for years, for

years, I felt like I couldn't have it all because I skipped around and I, I

skipped from one strategy to another.

Thinking someone had the secret sauce.

The secret sauce isn't sexy.

The secret sauce is applying those business foundations to your authority,

to your genius, to your creativity.

That's what Clarity to Clients does, because that's the program I wanted,

and so I knew to build wealth, I had to put money in the hands of women

who are going to do good things.

I had to attach to my mission by doing my own program.

By creating those foundations and, and getting the results so I

could teach others how to do it.

So when it comes to having it all, that means having it all in those

three categories, health, wealth, and relationships without pressure,

without doing it all at once.

And that brings me to the last thing, is our concept of time.

I remember when I, first started my entrepreneurial journey.

I read the book that so many new entrepreneurs read called The Big Leap.

If you haven't read it, it's amazing.

It's by Gay Hendrix, and he talks about this in one chapter.

He talks about Einstein time, and I was so on board with this

entire book until I read that chapter and I'm like, oh, hell no.

This is not, no, this is nonsense.

Because basically he who's saying, look, time doesn't exist.

We're creating our own version of time.

This is why it seems like someone can get a hundred.

Tasks done in the same amount of time that it takes someone

else to get one task done.

And when you start playing with this concept of, okay, well what does it

take for me to be more productive, to get more done in less time?

Well, it takes attaching to my desires.

It takes that emotional regulation, it takes that foundation.

When we do that, we're able to choose happiness and fulfillment and having

it all because time doesn't exist.

You know those feelings when you're doing something that you love or you're

really good at and time flies, or you're having so much fun, time flies, or stand

still, however you wanna look at that.

That is the power of reframing what time means.

So live your life first if you want to have it all.

Des define what all means.

Don't expect that you decide it and like all of a sudden your life changes.

We have to build the foundations.

We have to notice every single day in those moments when you're like,

wow, look at everything I've created.

I feel like I have it all.

Because when you feel those feelings, you create more of the same.

And when you create more of the same, suddenly you're living a

life where you do have it all.

I would love, love, love to hear your thoughts on this.

Feel free to message me on Instagram carry underscore e underscore co.

I should have created a shorter, easier handle to say, but I would

love to know like what does all.

Have to do with your life.

Like what is your definition?

What are your true desires?

What did you think about the idea of emotional management, of

building your foundations, of really creating your own concept of time?

I'd love to hear your feedback.

It, it is so meaningful for me when I can, really understand what feels

important and meaningful for you, because we're all here to build a mission.

We're all here to build wealth with friends and impact together because

when we put money into the hands of women who are going to do good

things, we're gonna solve a lot of problems that we have in this world.

All right, guys.

Get out there, monetize your authority, and I will see you in the next episode.