Today we're chatting about Marley's recent experience of doing everything kind of... well... wrong after being hit by a driver in a car while on her bike.

And honestly if a post-crash freak-out can happen to Marley, it could happen to anyone, so we want you to be prepared!

We outline the correct steps to take if you're ever in a similar situation, including how to check your body and your bike, why you need to get the driver's information, and repeatedly remind you to get medical attention… even if you feel fine in the moment. (Adrenaline is a hell of a drug!)

02:12 Details of the Crash

07:06 Vision Zero and Traffic Safety

12:51 What to Do After Being Hit by a Car on Your Bike

14:04 Importance of Context and Witnesses

15:01 Immediate Actions Post-Accident

17:40 Involving the Police and Bike Inspection

21:18 Emotional Reactions and Accepting Help

Mentioned in this episode:

This episode is supported by BikeTiresDirect.com. Use code ALLBODS for 10% off your order, and for 6% to go toward supporting future episodes of the All Bodies on Bikes podcast. Thanks!

Hi.

2

Marley: Hi, how are you?

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Ellen: I am okay.

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How are you?

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Marley: You know, all things considered.

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I am.

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Okay.

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What a week.

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Holy cow.

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Ellen: it's been a doozy.

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You've had a doozy of a week.

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Marley: Have I,

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Ellen: I thought you had.

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Marley: oh, I mean, I have a foster dog.

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I don't know.

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I,

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I

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Ellen: We're gonna talk about your crash.

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Marley: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Yes, yes.

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I did get hit by a car.

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Uh,

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what?

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Ellen: normal things for Marley

Blonsky is to have a week.

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That's crazy enough that that

doesn't register at the top

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Marley: my God.

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Well, to be fair, it was like two

weeks, three weeks ago at this point.

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Ellen: Was it really?

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Marley: Yeah,

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Ellen: That went so fast.

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Marley: I know.

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Life is, I'm glad I'm okay too.

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Well, I mean, yes.

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All things considered I am good.

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Before we get into that, so.

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Folks who are wondering, that is

what we're talking about today.

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I got hit by a car and I did

literally every single thing wrong

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that you are not supposed to do.

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Um, so we're gonna talk about what I

did and what you're supposed to do.

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But before we get into that, can I

show you maybe my favorite new thing?

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Ellen: Yeah,

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Marley: Okay.

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Ellen: official party pooper honey bucket.

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Marley: So.

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Ellen: Love your obsession

with porta-potties.

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Marley: Thank you for folks

who are not in the Northwest.

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Honey bucket is a very well known

brand of porta-potties and they do

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a selfie contest every summer where

you're, you just like post a picture

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of yourself with a porta-potty.

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You don't have to be in the porta-potty.

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And I kind of weird, could you.

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Ellen: Oh my God.

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Marley: So anyway, uh, I entered

their selfie contest, contest, their

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selfie contest last summer, and I

won, and I finally got my prize.

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So I got this really cute shirt

that says Official Party Pooper.

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Um, if you're watching us on

Spotify or YouTube, you can see it.

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Shout out to that.

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And I also got a bomber jacket.

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Um, but it's a little too small,

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Ellen: That's a bummer.

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Marley: it is a bummer.

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Ellen: Poops in the

party's what that does.

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But that's not what we're

here to talk about today.

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We're here to talk about,

unfortunately you were in a crash.

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Marley: Oh, I got hit by a car.

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I got hit by a driver of a car.

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Ellen: This is a great way to, for me to

prompt you to say, take us to the top.

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What happened?

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Marley: So I was on a mission to get

stamps to mail out my holiday cards.

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Uh, side note, I got yours.

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Thank you.

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So cute.

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Ellen: Thank you.

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I got yours.

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It's so cute.

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You're on my mantle.

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Marley: So yeah, I was on a

mission to get postage stamps.

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I went to three different stores.

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This was just prior to Christmas, um, so

a couple weeks ago now, and I was already,

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like, I was just in a bad mood that day.

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I, I don't really know why.

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I might have been my luteal

phase, but also the fact that

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like, I went to a grocery store.

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They didn't have stamps.

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I went to like.

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Literally this place called Postal

Annex that um, is like a mailing center.

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They didn't have stamps.

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I shoulda just gone to the dang post

office, but I was like, no, it'll be fine.

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Ellen: Okay, but who on postal

annex do would they normally

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have stamps and they ran out?

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Marley: Yeah, I don't

think it was their fault.

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I am blaming our government because Fred

Meyer, which is like a major grocery

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store, was also out of stamps and the

automated machine was out of stamps,

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and so I think it was just like a, Hmm.

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Our government doesn't work anymore.

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Yeah.

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So anyway, I.

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Ellen: not about many things.

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Marley: Mad about my, and I, I am

typically not a very angry person.

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Like to have a, a unpleasant

disposition is like a big deal for me.

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So anyway, I'm riding along, um, to

my third destination to try and find

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stamps, and I'm in a protected bike lane.

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And so the bike lane is on

the right side of the street.

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And it has unprotected right turns so

people can turn in front of the bike lane

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and there's, there's lots of signage but.

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There was a red Honda fit that

was slowing down and I could tell

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that he was getting ready to turn

and I ride really cautiously.

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You know, I've been riding in cities for

10 plus years, and you get a good idea

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of like, what's a safe speed, what's not?

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And so I see this guy slowing and

I'm like, oh, he's not gonna see me.

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I'm gonna slow down and let

him just turn in front of me.

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But then this guy like checks over

his right shoulder like you do.

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I was like, oh, and I

thought we made eye contact.

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Um, and so he continued to slow down.

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I was like, okay, that's my cue to go.

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So I kept going and he also kept going

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Ellen: Oh no.

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Marley: yeah, so he right hooked me.

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Um, thankfully I was on my cargo

bike, so I was on my bullet and

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he really, like, I was able to

kind of dump the bike right as.

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We crashed into each other.

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And so it was like a glancing blow,

but it still ended up with me like face

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down in the middle of the bike lane.

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And I dunno if you've ever fallen off

your bike really suddenly, but like for

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me it's just like shock and embarrassment.

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And I was laying there and I was

like, kind of did like a head to toe.

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Check in of like, okay, I

think I can feel everything.

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I don't think anything's broken.

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Okay.

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My head hurts, my collarbone hurts.

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Everything kind of hurts.

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And as I'm laying there face down

in the bike lane kind of doing this

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assessment, I hear somebody like

that was at a bus stop nearby, yell,

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oh fuck, and come running over.

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Ellen: Oh no.

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Marley: I know.

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And I was like, yeah, I feel that.

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And so I ended up just like, you know,

getting up and, uh, kind of brushed

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myself off, did another self-assessment.

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And thankfully the driver had

stopped, the driver completed his

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turn and he, he stopped and he was

like, Hey, I just didn't see you.

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And I was like, how did you not see me?

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And then I think I was

in like a state of shock.

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I was clearly in a state of shock

because I was just like, I'm fine.

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Go.

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I don't wanna talk to you.

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And that was like the start of.

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The wrong things to do.

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Um, unfortunately.

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Yeah.

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And so I figure we're a biking podcast.

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Let's talk about what you should do if

you unfortunately find yourself in the

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same situation getting hit by a car.

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Ellen: Yes, I would love this because

I do think that this is, I think

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I've had plenty of near misses.

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I think anybody who rides has had a

lot of near misses where we're very

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thankful that nothing happened, and

I'm sure I would panic without some

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proper like reminders in my brain if

this were to ever truly happen to me.

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Marley: Yeah, I, you know, I was

genuinely, I still am genuinely surprised

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that I reacted the way I did because

I've been in these situations before

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as a witness to other crashes, and

I'm like very calm and levelheaded

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of like, get their information, go

to the doctors, blah, blah, blah.

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And when it happened to me, I

was like, ah, I'm so embarrassed.

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I'm just gonna go home and cry.

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Ellen: yeah.

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Which is a very normal reaction.

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I will validate that for you.

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Marley: you.

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Ellen: it's a bummer that what

you, we need to learn how to do is.

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Yeah.

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Have that reaction and say, Hey,

driver, no wait, give me, gimme two

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minutes to have a little panic attack.

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And then we're gonna, I need your details.

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I need the this, which is

what we're gonna dig into now.

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Marley: Exactly, exactly.

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Um, one thing, so as I was like

researching this episode, I started

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looking into both Portland, where

I live, and Kansas City where you

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live about just kind of traffic.

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Statistics and fatalities

and it's really interesting.

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So both cities have a Vision

Zero goal program, et cetera.

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Um, for folks who might not be familiar,

can you tell us about Vision Zero, Ellen?

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Ellen: I can.

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So Vision Zero is a national, I

think actually it's global movement

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to say that the goal for any.

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Government should be zero traffic deaths.

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So building that should then guide

a lot of decisions that work outside

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of bike lanes and crosswalks, and it

should actually guide lots and lots

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and lots of other decisions too.

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So, um, somewhat famously in the

bike advocacy world in the like

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20, 24 to 25, there was a 12 month

period where Helsinki truly had zero.

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Fatalities, zero traffic deaths,

and a lot of what it boiled down

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to is infrastructure changes.

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So they've got tons and tons of different

infrastructure that slows traffic down

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and gives people a good idea of where

you should be and how you should yield.

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But then it has a lot to do with

accountability and holding people

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responsible who don't follow these rules.

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So enforcement was actually

cited as the bigger impact.

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And I'm not, I can't remember

off the top of my head.

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They cited, like the article I read

from the B, BC, I wanna say was like,

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here are the five things that actually

made the difference for Helsinki.

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Um, but the enforcement of it was,

and just kind of like the public.

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Marley: Like awareness

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Ellen: awareness and enforcement.

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And again, that accountability piece,

um, is what actually impacted it.

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Because even here in Kansas City, we do

have, um, a, we've had a lot of great bike

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infrastructure go in that's safe, divided,

supported, but even like, especially

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the way you described your accident is

exactly where I could pinpoint having.

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Interactions with traffic.

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So like when you get to an intersection,

people turning right on red, like

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doing all kinds of things where

they just aren't used to bikes and

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so, and they're not being told to

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Marley: Or they're on their phones.

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Ellen: or they're on

their phones all the time.

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Even when I'm with the other driver and

I look at other drivers, the number of

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times people are looking down at their

dashboards or their phones is scary.

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Get off your phone stall.

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Marley: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Seriously.

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And I, I have no idea if this

person was on their phone or not.

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Um, but one other thing about

Vision Zero is like, it's.

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Acknowledges that people make mistakes

and it tries to build systems to

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where those mistakes are not fatal.

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So it's slowing traffic down quite a bit.

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It's creating that

separated infrastructure.

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And honestly, I think, so the bike

lane that I was in in Portland is

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new within the last six months.

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And I do think because of, well,

it's not perfect, like I really think

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that there should be a light there

and folks shouldn't be able to turn

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right in front of the bike lane.

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Because of the infrastructure, this

guy was going really, really slow.

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Um, and so I think it contributed to

this not being such a serious crash.

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Ellen: which is really important to note.

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There are ways, there are ways to do this.

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And if you are a person who cycles there

or walks or doesn't want to be in a car,

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like wants to use the infrastructure on

with your own two feet, um, or your own

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wheels, then it's something you can start

to push to your local ordinances to do.

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Your local governments to do.

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Marley: Yeah, a hundred percent.

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Um, so we already covered that.

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I did everything wrong.

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I got up, I let the driver go

without getting any information.

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I went home, I made a reel because,

you know, that's what I knew.

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Ellen: Chronically online.

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Marley: Yeah.

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Chronically online.

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I called my, actually I called

my mom before I made the reel.

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I was like, mom, you're about to

see something on the internet.

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I need you to know that I'm okay.

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Um.

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Ellen: good.

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As the mom, I very much appreciate that.

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Marley: I'm trying to be better

about that because oftentimes I'll

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make content and she'll be like, uh,

were you gonna tell me about this?

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I'm like, oh yeah, sorry, mom.

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So anyway, I called my mom and she was

like, you need to go to the hospital.

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And I was like, no, I can't afford to.

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Um, and this was like that weird.

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So I moved to Oregon in November

and I should have switched my

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health insurance like immediately

for under like special enrollment.

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I didn't.

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I was like, oh, I'll just wait

until the, the new year when my

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Oregon health insurance kicks in.

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And so I was kind of in this like weird

in-between state where I didn't really,

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I had insurance, but it wouldn't do much.

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And I was like, I don't wanna go sit in

a urgent care or an ER for multiple hours

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for them to tell me you need to rest.

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Like, I could tell that I had no

serious injuries, like potentially

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whiplash, but, and like.

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A contusion on my elbow and some bruising.

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Um, but other than that, I was fine.

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Like my head didn't actually hurt.

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Ellen: What's a contusion?

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Marley: Oh, it's a fancy

word for like a scrape.

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Ellen: oh, okay.

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Marley: Yeah,

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Ellen: very serious.

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If you have a contusion,

you need a doctor.

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Marley: I know.

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It makes it sound a lot

cooler than it is, but No, it

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Ellen: Need a bandaid.

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You contusion.

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Okay.

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Marley: No, it's actually healed.

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I healed.

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You can't even see it anymore.

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Um, but I had like a big, a big scrape

on my elbow and it was pretty bruised,

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but I could tell that like, I'm gonna

go to the hospital, they're probably

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gonna do imaging and it's all gonna come

back of like, you're perfectly fine.

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And so I

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Ellen: you dunno.

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Marley: I know, I know, I know, I know.

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Ellen: is why what, so start from the top.

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What should you, if you had done

it correctly, which we have,

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we will acknowledge and forever

acknowledge it is gonna be so hard.

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Like it's not something that

happens every day, thank God.

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So it's gonna be hard to remember

this, but if you are in a wreck,

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you need to try to recall Ellen

and Marley telling you what to do.

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So what should you do at

the scene of the accident?

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Marley: First thing is safety first.

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Um, move out of traffic if you can.

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Um, so I was in the bike lane.

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I picked myself up, got out of the

way, and kind of assess yourself for

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injuries, assess yourself and any others.

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Um, you know, as we talked about,

adrenaline really did mask that.

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And I was like, I'm fine, but I wasn't.

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I, you know, I.

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Yeah.

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Um, I think the second part is

to get the driver's information.

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Um, you know, 'cause God forbid something

would've come up later, um, you know,

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with my neck or my elbow or my head or

something, I would've had no recourse,

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um, to hold this driver accountable.

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Um, so you need to ask them for their

driver's license, their phone number,

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and their insurance information.

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Um.

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You know, make sure you get their

name and their phone number.

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Make sure you take pictures at the scene

or ask somebody else to take pictures.

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Um, hopefully you know, somebody's

gonna come over and check on

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you and make sure you're okay.

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Um, have them help you, you know,

say, Hey, would you mind getting

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the driver's information for me?

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Um, you know, take pictures of the

intersections, take pictures of

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any signage, take pictures of the

whole scene, because God forbid

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this turns into a bigger thing.

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You're gonna need that information.

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Dealing with police,

insurance, all of those things.

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Ellen: And you need

the context on the day.

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So like if it had been raining, that

matters, if there was some reason

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that the driver could or couldn't

see you, truly like that will matter.

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I've had it in the, like, I got out

of a parking ticket one time because.

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It was dark and stormy that night.

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And the way that the wind blew

was like there's a tree branch in

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the way of the no parking sign.

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And I was like, I had, I didn't have

a picture on the night 'cause I didn't

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know I was gonna get a ticket, but

I went back and I took a picture.

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I was like, here's the tree.

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It's in the way.

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Marley: Good job.

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Ellen: Matters.

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Yes.

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Marley: Yeah.

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Yeah, definitely.

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Um, and then the other thing is if there's

witnesses get their information too.

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Um, because they can corroborate, they

can provide additional information,

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um, and they can just help you kind of

reset the scene if you need to later on.

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Ellen: Which is important.

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Memories are fallible.

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Marley: A hundred percent, especially

when there's like shock and

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adrenaline and all that involved.

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Um, so yeah, that's the first thing.

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You know, check yourself

out, make sure you're safe.

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Obviously, if you need medical

assistance, call 9 1 1.

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Get assistance out there as quickly

as possible, um, and take care of

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your, your health and safety first,

and then get the driver's information.

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Um.

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Ellen: Drivers information.

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Marley: Yes, get their information.

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Um, we kind of already talked about

this, but then you need to go get

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yourself checked out, um, you know,

go to the hospital, go to urgent care.

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Um, even if you're feeling fine, um, I, I

probably got a hundred messages from folks

361

being like, you need to go to the doctor.

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And I fully admit I should

have gone to the doctor.

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Um, 'cause you know, there can

be internal injuries, there

364

can be bleeding, there could be

concussions, there can like whiplash.

365

It can all show up later.

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And you want that documented.

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For insurance purposes later.

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Ellen: Yes.

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Documented.

370

That's, that was what I was gonna add.

371

Like again, even if you do feel fine,

there's something that might pop up later.

372

You need it to be tied to the day.

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Marley: Yes.

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Exactly, and it was kind of unfortunate,

kind of funny, like I woke up the next

375

day more sore than I've ever been in

my entire life, and I was like, oh,

376

maybe I should have gone to the doctor.

377

And then by then I kind of had this

guilt of like, well, it's too late now.

378

Like it's not gonna matter,

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Ellen: Yeah,

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Marley: if that's true or not.

381

Ellen: I don't know either.

382

I think, I guess that's a good question,

but my thought would be if that's

383

what it is, you still go right away.

384

It's like that proverb of like, the

best time to plant a tree was yesterday.

385

The next best time is now.

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The best time to have gone.

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The best time for you to have gone

would've been yesterday when it happened.

388

The next best time is now

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Marley: Yeah.

390

Ellen: like no matter what.

391

And I'm really guilty of this too,

where it's like, I don't know.

392

It's gonna resolve, it'll be okay.

393

But no, like, and I, I actually really

appreciate that you mentioned how much

394

like surrounding, how much of your context

influenced your decision to not go?

395

'cause that is so scary.

396

It's really easy to think

it, it's gonna blow up.

397

Out of proportion.

398

And it's true in the

United States for sure.

399

Um, luckily if we have some

international listeners, they

400

have far less anxiety around this.

401

Um, there is, I, I don't know, my

husband's really superstitious about

402

if we ever have a gap in insurance,

we basically just like hunker down.

403

But I hate that advice because I want

you to be out living your best life

404

and not being worried about this.

405

Um, but it's reality.

406

So just do it.

407

But at the same time.

408

If it's gonna turn into something

big, you wanna try to catch

409

it when it's something little.

410

Just go, go, go, go.

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Marley: just go.

412

Yeah.

413

So, um, and then I guess kind of

like the, the last part is to get

414

the police involved if you need to.

415

Um.

416

You know, don't love involving

police for any reason.

417

Um.

418

With everything going on in this country.

419

But for insurance purposes,

um, it can be necessary.

420

Um, you know, call, sometimes the cops

won't come out, especially if there isn't

421

a serious injury, but in a lot of places

you can still file a police report online.

422

Um, this is especially helpful too,

if your bike is damaged, um, because

423

then your, um, you can get that covered

and that's another thing that you need

424

to do, is you need to get your bike

inspected before you ride it again.

425

Um.

426

I did, I did do.

427

Thank

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Ellen: Good job.

429

Marley: I did do one thing, correct?

430

Um,

431

Ellen: it's a really good reminder though.

432

Did you ride it home?

433

Marley: Uh, yeah,

434

Ellen: Which is again, I

435

Marley: again, shock adrenaline.

436

I'm trying to be gentle with myself,

but like also it was my cargo bike.

437

Like what was I gonna, I guess if my

bike would've been totaled, I could

438

have called like a tow truck company.

439

Um, but, and.

440

Remarkably there ended up being zero,

well, not zero damages, but zero,

441

um, impactful damages to my bike.

442

Um, like I have that big cargo

basket and it got really scraped up.

443

One of the little metal

grommets got ripped out.

444

Um, but other than that, no

structural damage to the bicycle.

445

Ellen: can always definitely do

an A, B, C check before you ride

446

Marley: Yeah.

447

What's an A, b, C check, Ellen?

448

Ellen: air brakes chain.

449

Marley: Yeah.

450

Ellen: I'm sure that

air and breaks is right.

451

You gave me a funny look on chain.

452

Marley: No, you're, you're exactly right.

453

Um, I always add in a, b, c quick check to

like check all of your like quick release

454

levers, but I don't really have any bikes

that have quick release levers anymore.

455

Ellen: Yeah.

456

A lot of people do like my seat.

457

The, or, um, a couple of

my, like the, my wheels, a

458

Marley: Your wheels.

459

Ellen: quick release.

460

Yeah.

461

Yeah.

462

Marley: So yeah, I, I call

it an A, b, C quick check.

463

Ellen: I like that.

464

A, B,

465

Marley: Yeah.

466

And so my brain skipped over

the chain part of things.

467

Ellen: Oh, you went straight to the queue.

468

Marley: I went straight to the queue.

469

Ellen: Aw, man.

470

Marley: yeah, yeah.

471

Ellen: I hear what you're saying though

about getting the police involved.

472

And again, like if, let's say

best case, everybody's super

473

amenable, the driver stops.

474

They are like, they understand,

they're um, they're behaving well.

475

That's not what I wanna say.

476

They're cooperating

477

Marley: Like cooperating,

compassionate, yeah.

478

Whatever.

479

Yeah.

480

Ellen: And you can get all of this

and then file the report later.

481

But again, as much as you can do on the

day, get everything done on the day.

482

Marley: Exactly.

483

Yeah.

484

Um, I, as I've been thinking

about this, of like, you know,

485

could I create a spoke card?

486

Could I create a sticker?

487

Because you know, when you're in the

moment, logic goes out the window.

488

And so, you know, if folks don't

remember anything from this

489

podcast, you know, safety info care.

490

Report, um, you know,

make sure you're safe.

491

Make sure everything's fine.

492

Call 9 1 1 if you need to.

493

Get the driver's information,

get the witness's information.

494

Take care of yourself, get to the

hospital, get to the doctor, get

495

your bike checked out, et cetera.

496

And then file a report if you need to.

497

Um, so it all sounds really simple.

498

And hopefully I never need to use

this info again, but unfortunately,

499

that's not what the statistics say.

500

Ellen: Yeah, a sticker would be good.

501

Something to just kind of put for

like on your handlebars or something.

502

Marley: Yeah, exactly.

503

I don't know.

504

I, I'm thinking about it,

505

Ellen: Yeah.

506

Okay.

507

Marley: yeah.

508

Well,

509

Ellen: Super human.

510

It's super human to not super space

human to not know what to do in the

511

moment and to be so overwhelmed.

512

I think always good advice for a lot of

things in your life is to, if you feel

513

crazed about this, stop and take a breath.

514

That will help you assess

your body better too.

515

Like to your point about the adrenaline

just coursing through you is there

516

to make you move on without pain.

517

Trying as much as you can to calm

yourself down and have a think count

518

to five, whatever you need to do

519

to get your brain, out of

the fight or flight response.

520

'cause that's where your memory's gonna

get really fuzzy, kind of no matter what.

521

I would bet.

522

'cause you're really, you're

really worked up about it.

523

Um, as much as you can do to calm

yourself down in the moment and take

524

the space to calm yourself down.

525

I think what maybe what stood out

to me is that you were just like,

526

ready to get out of the situation.

527

Marley: I was embarrassed.

528

I felt like it was my fault.

529

I felt like I had done something wrong,

which I hadn't, you know, like I did.

530

I was riding my bike, but I, I

was really, honestly in hindsight,

531

surprised by my reaction.

532

Um, and you know what's really, really

dumb is after I got hit, I got back

533

on, and that's actually when I went

to the postal annex 'cause that I was

534

on my way to, I had gone to two places

before and I still went to postal

535

annex, and I'm like crying, I'm a mess.

536

I'm

537

Ellen: Oh.

538

Marley: do you guys have stamps?

539

And they were like, no.

540

So I went home after that.

541

I'm like still crying at this point

because I don't know, adrenaline

542

does funny things to my system.

543

And then I went to this pizza

place across the street 'cause I

544

was like, okay, now I'm hungry.

545

And I'm still crying because I'm just

like, I don't know what to do with myself.

546

And the poor pizza guy was so kind.

547

I think he gave it to me for free.

548

I don't really remember.

549

But I went back in there like two

days later 'cause this pizza place is

550

right across the street from my house.

551

And he was like, Hey, uh, are you okay?

552

I

553

Ellen: That's really sweet.

554

Marley: really sweet.

555

I explained to him, I was like, oh, yeah,

last time I was in here I had just gotten

556

hit by a car, and he was like, oh my God.

557

What?

558

What are you talking about?

559

Like,

560

Ellen: Oh no.

561

Oh, no, that's, that's the correct

reaction to having someone tell you that

562

they've been hit by a car, but yeah.

563

Oh, you poor thing.

564

And then you all, on top of all this,

you still didn't get stamps that day.

565

Marley: No, I didn't get

stamps until after Christmas.

566

I went to Spokane and I had to go to

Costco with my mother to find stamps.

567

Ellen: That's where we also bought

our stamps for our Christmas cards.

568

So good job, Costco.

569

Nice work.

570

Marley: good job.

571

Costco stamps are really

expensive nowadays.

572

Ellen: Yeah, I always forget that

part of sending holiday cards, then

573

I have to buy a hundred of them,

and anything multiplied by a hundred

574

is suddenly, it's a lot of money,

575

Marley: Yeah.

576

Yeah.

577

So anyway, thanks for

talking this through with me.

578

I hope people find it helpful.

579

Um, yeah, if, if nothing else,

get the driver's information.

580

Ellen: Yes.

581

This is also really good stuff

for anyone to remember is like,

582

who's leading a group ride too?

583

If you are someone who can be

calm, if you're not the person

584

who's hit, be calm and help the

person do all of these things.

585

Help them be safe.

586

Help them get the info, help

them take care of themselves.

587

Encourage them to go get checked

out, be the voice of reason

588

while their brain is buzzing.

589

Um, a lot of times that can be

what kind of pulls a person back

590

down to be grounded in the moment.

591

Is someone else who's being

calm or saying, like saying

592

it's okay to fall apart.

593

For right now, and then we're gonna go

get your information or like just kind

594

of making sure, like making sure the

driver stays, taking pictures of license

595

plates as best you can if they're not

staying, like recording as soon as

596

you can to get all this information.

597

There's a lot you can do

as a, as a witness too.

598

Marley: Yes.

599

Yeah.

600

And that's not, even if you're on a group

ride, if you happen to see somebody,

601

even if they're a total stranger,

like pull over and be an advocate.

602

You know, help take care of them

and calm 'em down and do the

603

work of getting the information.

604

You know, if somebody else would've

said, Hey, I got this guy's info.

605

You don't need to worry about it,

but if you want it, here's the info.

606

Would've been super, super helpful.

607

Ellen: Yeah, that's a really good point.

608

I think sometimes as a bystander you

don't know what to do, and so we're,

609

we're sitting here saying one of the great

things to do is go over and check them

610

out, be very kind and say, we got you.

611

What do you need?

612

Marley: Yeah.

613

And I think finally the, what I wanna

leave with is like, do not admit fault.

614

Um, regardless of, you know, maybe you

did accelerate in front of that car,

615

um, but do not admit fault at any point.

616

Ellen: Don't do it.

617

I think this is a thing that happens in

the moment is everybody wants to try to

618

make everybody else feel less guilty.

619

Feel better and say, no, no, it's okay.

620

Like, no, you did everything

right and I da da, da da.

621

And uh, as soon as you can get

your brain out of that system,

622

get your brain out of saying it

happened, do be neutral about it.

623

If you can, it happened.

624

Here's what's next.

625

Marley: Yeah.

626

Ellen: I say that as if I could

be neutral in this situation

627

and I'm sure I would be a mess.

628

So.

629

Marley: Well hopefully after talking

this through, um, well, I mean, in an

630

ideal world, we'll never need to use

this skill again, but that's not reality.

631

So now we know what to do.

632

Ellen: There you

633

Marley: for talking this through with me.

634

Ellen: Yeah.

635

Thanks for talking with me and if anybody

in the community wants to share their

636

story, we'd love to hear from you.

637

Drop us a dm, comments on Spotify.

638

Um, we want this to be a space

for everybody to be able to ride

639

safely and hearing your stories will

help someone know what to do next.

640

Marley: Yep.

641

Ellen: Bye, Marley.

642

Marley: Bye Ellen.