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Strength isn't just about muscles or toughness; it's about how we handle change and challenges in life. I’ve grown up hearing, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but I want to dig deeper into what strength really means. It’s about resilience, forgiveness, and being flexible. During this episode, we’ll explore how to identify our unique strengths, especially those that emerge from tough times. So, let’s take a moment to reflect on what makes us strong, beyond just the physical.

In a very masculine world, we tend to focus on strengths that are very much physical. What about the emotional strengths like resilience, flexibility, the ability to deal with change? WEBSITE Steven Webb

Life is full of challenges, and we often hear the phrase, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' This podcast dives deep into what strength truly means. Stephen Webb, our host, reflects on his recent journey as the new mayor of Truro, where he’s been juggling meetings and responsibilities. He reveals that strength isn't just about physical prowess or the ability to push through pain; it's about resilience, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. As he explores the concept of strength, he encourages listeners to think about their own strengths and how they've grown through difficult times. Stephen invites us to see strength as a multi-dimensional quality, one that encompasses emotional resilience, the ability to forgive, and the capacity to listen intently. He emphasizes that true strength is often about being flexible and learning from experiences rather than merely enduring them. This episode inspires us to redefine our understanding of strength and to appreciate the quiet, often overlooked qualities that make us strong in the face of adversity.

Takeaways:

• The phrase 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' has deep meaning and can be annoying.
• Strength is not just about physical power; it's about resilience and adaptability in life.
• We often overlook our inner strengths and focus too much on weaknesses we perceive in ourselves.
• Listening and forgiving others are powerful strengths that can help us grow as individuals.
• Recognizing our strengths can help us navigate difficult times and find inner peace.
• The ability to learn from mistakes and adapt is a crucial aspect of true strength.

So what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I grew up with that phrase and I still stand by it quite a bit.

But it also annoys me and I want to talk about what that strength means and what it means to be a strong person.

But before that, I'm Stephen Webb, the this is Stillness in the Storms, the podcast that helps you to find a little inner peace in difficult times.

Two weeks ago I become mayor of Truro and it's been a really busy couple of weeks for me.

A lot of meetings.

Yeah, a lot of meetings and luckily a lot of them are still virtual, but it is summer and I've been.

Some of them have been in person and the merry making was in person in the cathedral.

What an amazing backdrop that was.

And I've had a lot of good media attention and a lot of good write ups and all that at the moment.

But now that I've got the profile out there, now I've got to stand by what I say.

And I really want to make my mayorship count and I'm sure every mayor does, and I'm sure I'm not bringing anything new to the table in that way.

But I'm starting to work out what my membership means.

And one of the things is not to leave anybody behind, leave no groups out.

And that's gonna really form the question behind nearly every decision I make.

Does this leave any groups out?

And if it does, how can we include those groups?

And I think that goes down to the social and economic recovery today is how can we make sure it involves everybody?

So yeah, a lot of meetings, a lot of thinking about and I'm now getting to grips with what I can do to help people and things like that and really have hit the floor running, so to speak.

And we're getting there.

And I do want to shout out and say thank you to a couple of ex mayors and a couple of councillors that have really helped me out and really step forward.

And they've been there at the end of Texas, at day and night, really, when I've literally, I don't know what to do with this, you know, who do I contact, things like that.

So it's really valuable support.

So thank you.

I want to talk about strength, what it means to be strong and very much.

While I was growing up, as a teenager, I thought strength was going to the gym, building your muscles.

Can you punch hard?

Can you beat people up?

Can you absorb the punches?

Can you get up when you stand up, get up when you get knocked down?

And I think, yeah, all of those count to some degree.

But also the older I get, the more I realize strength is in the ability to deal with change, the ability to forgive people and listen without putting yourself first.

And I think we very often, when we have hard times, we look at coming out of them stronger, but we don't look at what those strengths really mean to us and how they affect our lives.

And I just want you to think about your strengths during this podcast, really, not so much in the way of muscle strengths, but in the way that you've become more resilient, that you become more wiser and you're able to see things from more perspectives.

And I think that's where strength really comes.

When you can see things as complicated structures, you no longer see things as black and white.

You can learn to forgive people because you realize that nobody's really deliberately doing bad things.

Mitzi, can you please not lie on my keyboard?

You're gonna.

As much as I think my keyboard is nice and warm for you, it's not the best time.

And welcome Mitzi to the podcast.

Mitzi's my cat and she's just decided to lie right in front of me, right across the monitor.

And I cannot see my show notes now.

Anyway, talking about strength, and I very often look at me, I'm paralyzed.

My body is quite weak and it's quite skinny apart from the belly and things like that.

So physical strength, I have very little.

I could barely pick up, pick up a two pound bag of sugar.

If I do exercise, after about 10 minutes, literally my arms are falling off.

I'm like, nah, this is kidding me.

I can't do this anymore.

But then I look at my strengths.

My strengths are, I suppose, my ability to be okay with change.

I don't fear change.

Yes, I want to run away from things, but I don't run away from things so much as I used to.

I still feel like it.

Several times the past two, three weeks, I've wanted to run away from my responsibilities.

Close the door, turn the computer off, but we lean in and we go.

It's probably not going to be that bad.

And that's strength.

Just remember that strength is just leaning in a little bit.

Strength doesn't mean jumping out of an airplane with parachutes or climbing up the biggest rock face or running 100 kilometer endurance.

They're all strengths in one way.

But strength comes in so many different forms.

And just being flexible, just being able to absorb the changes as they occur.

Look at trees.

Trees aren't very strong, but they become strong with the Fact that they're flexible and they have deep roots and the fact that the wind and the different weather conditions and the seasons, the tree can adapt to change.

It drops its leaves so it can hibernate for the winter.

Not sure if that's the right word.

Have a look at your streams.

Have a look at.

And instead of comparing your streams to other people, really analyze what makes you stronger, what makes you more resilient nowadays, what makes you.

What gives you the ability to deal with things when others can.

Maybe you're good at forgiving people or you're good at listening.

Listening is a great strength to have.

It's a great ability.

Very few people could do it.

I'm not a very good listener.

I really am quite a terrible listener.

While I'm listening to people, my mind is thinking about my tea and how hungry I am, what I'm doing later on, and especially in council meetings.

I have to be perfectly honest.

Sorry to all my fellow counsellors, but sometimes when they're all talking, my mind is, yeah, let's go somewhere else.

And I've really got a focus.

I hope they don't sometimes go and ask me a question because I'm like, yeah, I zoned out for that moment and I'm just being honest again.

Honesty is a strength, I guess.

But, yeah, listening is a good strength to have.

And the ability to, like I say, forgive people, that's a really massive strength to realize that nothing is personal.

You know, what people say and what they do is more about them than it ever is about you or ever is about the other person.

So the strength has been able to see that and not react to it.

We often see strength as a physical strength in the way that you might have bullies and you have people that really put other people down, they see that as a strength in themselves, but it really isn't.

It's them showing a weakness that they're frightened of the other person because if the other person gets too strong or the ability to come back or perhaps leave them or something like that, whatever it is they're fearing, if that person ever grows the courage and shame to do that, the other person that is putting them down, all that wouldn't know what to do.

They're frightened.

I think I heard somewhere about the bully is the weakest one on the playing field or something.

And it's all about different qualities as well.

In.

In the respect of you might be strong in one thing and weak in another.

Like I say, my body is really not that strong.

My body can you remember the alien autopsy years and years ago?

Well, my legs and arms are so skinny and my big belly.

I look like that alien autopsy lying on the autopsy bed on the metal kind of.

But, yeah.

So, yeah, physical strength.

I don't really have it, but I built up a resilience.

I built up an ability to be okay with when things are going wrong.

I'm not sure I always have the wise answers when things are going wrong, but nevertheless, it is a strength.

And so think about your strengths.

List them, grab a piece of paper, get your phone out and get the note app and think about your strengths.

What are you really good at?

What abilities have you grown through your hard times?

Because hard times are very often gifts.

And I do believe there's a gift in everything.

That's one of my mottos.

And I try to look for it whenever things are seem like they're going against me.

Where's the gift?

What can I learn from this?

And again, learning.

That's another great strength to have.

Can I learn from this mistake?

Can I admit to my mistakes?

Oh, my God, that's a strength.

Can I admit that I was wrong?

Can I give someone else credit or weak people will take credit because they don't have the ability to come up with things themselves, perhaps.

So they may take credit off other people.

I just want to record this podcast because it really resonated with me this morning when I was meditating about the different strengths we have.

The mental, wise strength, the physical strength.

And they're all qualities.

And we very much don't concentrate on the qualities we have.

We concentrate on the qualities other people have and we wish we had more of them.

And we concentrate on our flaws and our weaknesses, which it's okay to be aware of our weaknesses on the enneagram.

I'm a type 2.

I'm a helper.

The weakness of a type 2 is the fact that we have an inability to say no.

We want to please everybody.

We want to make everybody happy.

Well, that's going to be really challenging for me over the next 12 months.

Really challenging.

And.

But recognizing that that is one of my weaknesses, I can turn it into a strength.

Eventually.

I need to work on it.

So, yeah, don't ever look at either way as a good or a bad thing.

It is just what it is.

Maybe somewhere we need to work somewhere we need to pat ourselves on the back and go, do you know what?

You're a damn good listener, a damn good forgiving person, or a really good person in times of change, you know, whatever your strengths are really focus on what they are and put them out into the world.

The world needs more wise strength.

That's all I've got this week.

Thank you for listening.

I'm Stephen Webb, and this is Stillness in the Storms.

You can head over to my website, StephenWeb.com with a V and download the Five Simple Practices for inner Peace.

And you can check out my the most popular podcast that I've done so far is the one that can you love everybody.

It's the one I talk about, whether or not we have the ability to love everybody.

And on that note, I love you and have an amazing day.

And let's talk next week.

Take care.

Namaste.