In this episode, we explore the causes, symptoms, and consequences of burnout, delving into its various manifestations through the lens of four distinct types of women: the Over-Achiever, the Over-Doer, the Over-Giver, and the Over-Thinker. Each type embodies different tendencies and behaviours that can lead to burnout.

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You're listening to the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.

I am your host, Irene Evangelo, anxiety counselor and clinical hypnotherapist.

I'll be coming to you every week to share actionable tips, simple strategies and useful resources to help you break free from high function anxiety.

We'll be covering how to recognize and understand your anxiety, strategies to change your thoughts and feelings, ways to implement long lasting change.

If you are trying to overcome people pleasing behaviors, navigate anxiety, living in self doubt or something else keeping you stuck,

then you are in the right place.

I know that you are ready to get to the next level of your life feeling free, calm, confident and in control.

So let's get started.

Hello my lovely listeners and welcome back to episode nine of the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.

So today we are talking about burnout, a topic that hits close to home for many of us.

You know that feeling when you're just completely drained mentally, physically and emotionally.

That is burnout.

Now, before I dive in, I want to take a moment and thank you for listening to the podcast.

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I also want to invite you to join my free Facebook group called Peace with Anxiety and inside you will find resources on all things related to anxiety, perfectionism and burnout to help you master your mind.

It is also a community of women who are all committed to supporting, uplifting, motivating and empowering one another.

It is a place to learn, grow and connect.

And it is a place where I share new offers and workshops.

So if you want to join, head over to the group and join this amazing community.

I will include the link in the show notes.

Alright, so let's get started.

So what causes burnout?

Well, it's actually a mix of things like chronic stress from work, from relationships, or just life in general.

Maybe you've got too much on your plate or you feel like you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast.

And the signs of burnout can sneak up on you too.

It might start with feeling tired all the time, or maybe you're just not as excited about things as you used to be.

You might find yourself snapping at people more often, or maybe you just can't seem to concentrate on anything.

It's like your body and mind are trying to tell you, hey there, slow down.

So here are a few general symptoms of persistent fatigue, low energy levels, and physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension and gastrointestinal problems, feelings of apathy, cynicism and detachment.

You may also experience a sense of emotional numbness or disconnection from your work and personal life.

You may become more irritable, impatient and resentful in your interactions with other people.

You may have lost interest in work or activities that were once enjoyable.

And you may take more frequent sick days from work and seek ways to avoid any stressors.

But here's the thing.

Burnout isn't just about feeling exhausted.

It can have some pretty serious effects on your health, your relationships, and even your career.

It's like a domino effect, with one thing leading to another until you feel like you're stuck in a rut.

For example, burnout can take a significant toll on your physical health by increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and immune dysfunction.

It can strain relationships with colleagues, friends and family members as you become more withdrawn or prone to conflicts and misunderstandings.

It can lead you to question your career choices, professional goals, but also personal goals.

Burnout can impair care, cognitive functioning and decision making abilities.

So you may struggle to meet deadlines.

You may make more mistakes and forget things more often.

You see, burnout isn't a one size fits all kind of deal.

It wears many masks.

And today I will be talking about the four types of women who are more prone to burnout.

And the first one is the overachiever, driven by an insatiable thirst for excellence, who constantly pursues the next goal.

And then there's the overdoer, always juggling a million tasks, fueled by a fear of missing out and a need to please everyone around her.

And let's not forget about the over giver.

The selfless soul who puts everyone else's needs above her own.

And last but not least, the overthinker.

Caught in a never ending cycle of rumination and indecision, unable to quiet her mind.

These ladies might sound familiar to you.

They might even be you.

So I want to tell you that if you relate to any of these types or with any of these symptoms, seek professional help.

Now I know that reaching out for help can feel a little scary or intimidating, but trust me when I say that it is one of the bravest things you can do for yourself.

Taking that first step towards getting the support you need can make all the difference in your journey towards healing and recovery.

So please, if you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or just not like yourself lately, I want to encourage you to consider reaching out for professional help.

You deserve to feel better and there are people out there who want to help you get there you are not alone.

I can promise you that.

Alright, so first up we have the overachiever.

Let me ask you a question.

Have you noticed maybe lately that you have been working on something for weeks, poring over every detail, afraid to miss even the smallest thing?

Despite your exhaustion, you keep pushing, fearing that any mistake would cost you your success.

Does that sound familiar?

You might relate to this type if you're constantly driven by a need for excellence and success, setting impossibly high standards for yourself, whether it's your career, relationships or personal goals, or all of the above.

You pursue your goals with unwavering determination and dedication, often working long hours and sacrificing fun time to achieve success.

You strive to meet or exceed expectations at all costs.

Now, behind your relentless pursuit, most often lies a fear of failure that in most cases is rooted in your belief that your self worth is tied to your achievements.

Therefore, every task becomes a measure of your competence and any deviation from perfection is perceived as a personal shortcoming.

So despite your outward success, you carry an immense weight of pressure and self doubt and you may feel unable to celebrate your accomplishments.

You believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable, so you investigate every detail and strive for flawless execution in everything you do.

You find it hard to switch off and relax, constantly feeling the need to do something to be productive or work towards your goals.

And beneath the face of confidence lies a core need to feel worthy, to feel important and enough.

Ok, I know that's a lot to take in.

So let me now offer you some proactive steps you can take towards preventing burnout and fostering a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

As an overachiever, the first thing is to set realistic goals that are challenging yet achievable, allowing room for mistakes and growth without excessive pressure.

Second, practice self compassion.

And I know this might be hard, but learn to embrace imperfection.

I want you to start celebrating your progress and all of your achievements, no matter how small.

And I also want you to celebrate your mistakes.

Go back 5, 10, 15 years ago and start congratulating yourself for every challenge you overcame.

Finally, set boundaries around work hours and fun times to prevent burnout.

Your work will still be there for you whether or not you go out and have fun for an hour or two.

And fun can be seeing friends or family, going out for dinner with your loved one, or taking some time off just by yourself to relax and take care of your body and mind.

Ok, next, let's talk about the overdoer.

My question to you, have you been feeling swamped with work or other responsibilities?

But you agree to take on yet another task because you can't bear the thought of disappointing anyone.

Do you take on way too much?

Do you struggle to say no to delegate tasks?

Do you feel overwhelmed by your workload?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then you might relate more to the overdoer type in most cases.

Beneath this constant busyness lies a longing for acceptance and belonging.

You may be driven by a fear of missing out or of disappointing others, so you habitually take on more than you can handle, hoping to prove your value through your actions.

If you say no, it feels like rejecting the very relationships you cherish.

So you sacrifice your own well being to maintain a sense of connection.

However, despite your efforts, you find yourself drowning in an endless sea of tasks, unable to prioritize your own needs.

And beneath this mask of productivity and busyness usually lies a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy.

Your fear of missing out on opportunities, experiences or relationships leads you to say yes to every request or invitation that comes your way.

You have a strong desire to please others and fear disappointing them or letting them down, and this fear drives you to take on more than you can handle in an effort to meet others.

Everyone's expectations and trusting tasks to others is challenging for you because you may worry that others won't meet your standards and expectations, or you just fear losing control over the outcome.

You need to know that something is going to get done, so you may develop this workaholic tendency and find it difficult to disconnect from work even during fun times.

And of course, setting boundaries is a challenge for you because you may feel guilty or even selfish for prioritizing your own needs over others.

Okay, here's what you can do over DUA to find your balance.

First and foremost, start to learn how to say no.

No to tasks or to commitments, no to favors.

Just no.

In general.

You know your limits and your capacity.

So now learn that setting boundaries is not selfish but essential for preserving your well being.

Next, I want you to let go of the outcome.

Let others do something and trust in their abilities to get the job done.

Trust that their wheels will keep turning with or without you.

Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

So do for yourself what you would have done for others.

And finally, well, if you have been following along, you probably know what I'm about to say.

Prioritize self care activities that reduce stress and make you feel good.

Whether it's exercise, meditation or hobbies.

Just do it for you.

Now let's discuss the over giver.

Think about a time when you put everyone else's needs before your own.

Saying yes to every favor commitment even though you knew it would leave you drained and exhausted.

Well if that's you, you are the one who constantly puts others over yourself.

You struggle to set boundaries and you say yes to every request even when it doesn't make sense for you.

You are incredibly selfless, always willing to lend a helping hand or offer support to those in need, which is a beautiful thing unless saying no is a struggle for you.

So you say yes because you don't want to disappoint or let others down.

Boundaries are often blurred or non existent for you as you may put others needs first and neglect your own.

You may feel drained or depleted with little energy left for your self care after spending time with others, but you keep helping others because you believe that your self worth is equal to your ability to be of service.

And this selflessness well stems from a deep desire to alleviate the fear of being left alone.

So you find purpose and fulfillment in helping those around you, often at the expense of your own well being.

Because for you, saying no feels like you are abandoning those who rely on you.

So you suppress your own needs to meet the needs of others.

And despite this altruism, you feel exhausted and somewhat resentful because you suddenly long for someone to return this care and kindness to you without having to ask for it.

Beneath this mask of strength for you lies a vulnerable heart that craves from the same compassion and support you freely give to others.

So for you my lovely, I would say the first step is to practice assertiveness.

Kindly and respectfully assert your needs and set clear boundaries with others.

Saying no is an act of self care and self respect.

Then the next thing, I want you to schedule me time to recharge and bring the focus back on your needs.

Whether it's a solo walk, a bubble bath or reading a book.

Just give some of your time back to you and finally seek support.

It's okay to ask for help and care and lean on others for support when you need it, even if they don't offer it.

Ask for it.

You deserve it.

Ok, last but not least, we have the overthinker.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of overthinking?

Unable to make a decision because you are afraid of making the wrong choice?

It's like your mind just won't shut off no matter how hard you try?

Are you stuck in a cycle of constant rumination, excessive worry and indecision?

Do you spend hours, analyzing every situation from every angle, unable to quiet your racing thoughts.

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you are definitely an overthinker.

You tend to dwell on past events or mistakes, replaying them in your mind and fixating on what you could have done differently.

You also experience a constant sense of anxiety and worry, fretting over potential future outcomes or worst case scenarios.

Making quick decisions can be paralyzing for you as you need to weigh every possible option and outcome before coming to conclusion.

And this tendency to over analyze can lead to what is called analysis paralysis where you become stuck in a state of indecision and unable to move forward.

So this constant processing makes you feel drained and overwhelmed.

In your case, beneath your incessant rumination lies a deep seated fear of uncertainty and the need for control.

Every decision becomes a minefield of potential consequences, leaving you paralyzed by indecision.

You tirelessly analyze every detail, hoping to find certainty in a world filled with uncertainty.

Despite your efforts, you find yourself trapped in a maze of doubt and anxiety, unable to escape the confines of your own mind.

And beneath this mask of logic lies a sea of emotions longing for peace and clarity in the face of the chaos of your thoughts.

So what you can do is first introduce mindfulness practices to help you stay grounded and present in the moment to reduce rumination.

So you can use the techniques like deep breathing meditation or journaling which can help you quiet your mind and promote relaxation.

The other thing you can do is to establish criteria for decision making to prevent this analysis paralysis.

Focus on the most important factors and learn to trust your instincts when you're making a decision.

And finally, set boundaries around information consumption such as limiting the time you spend on reading news or on social media.

It's going to be okay if you disconnect and prioritise your mental well being.

Alright, so for this week's practice, I want you to ask yourselves the following three questions.

Question number one what patterns or tendencies do you notice in your behavior?

So take a look at your own actions and attitudes and try to identify any recurring patterns or tendencies that align with the four types discussed in the episodes and consider whether you tend to exhibit traits of one of them or more.

Are there any specific situations or contexts where these tendencies become more evident?

Question number two how do these tendencies impact your well being in relationships?

So for this question, consider the consequences of your behavioral patterns on your overall well being and the quality of your relationships.

Do your tendencies towards overachievement lead to feelings of stress and overwhelm?

Does your inclination to over give leave you feeling depleted and resentful.

So take a moment and reflect on how these patterns affect your physical health, mental well being and connection with others.

Finally, question number three what steps can you take to prioritize self care and prevent burnout?

So, based on your reflections, think about possible actionable steps that you can take to prioritize self care and reduce the risk of burnout.

Consider strategies that align with your specific burnout type while addressing your unique needs and challenges.

Whether it's setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, delegating tasks, or seeking support from others, identify concrete actions that you can introduce to your daily life to promote resilience and well being.

Alright, so we come to the end of today's episode and I want to take a moment to reflect on the importance of recognizing the signs of burnout for each of you.

Whether you are the overachiever, the overdoer, the over giver or the overthinker.

Because once you do this, it's going to be like having your own personalized alert system that tells you hey, it's time to slow down and take care of yourself.

By understanding these unique signals, you can become more attuned to your own mental and emotional well being.

And this is not about labeling ourselves ok?

It's just about recognizing when you might need a little extra support or self care or just time off.

So as you go about your day, keep an eye out for those signs and remember to prioritize your own well being.

So take care and until next time, be kind to yourselves.

Thank you for listening to the Peace With Anxiety podcast.

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Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you the next episode.