In this episode, Irene and Cat shed light on:

• Self-Care and Achievement as seemingly conflicting values
• Self-Care has a learning curve
• Openness to unexpected outcome
• What doing well means to *you*

Book Recommendations:

Ray Dalio's Principles: https://a.co/d/dvOhfvQ

Ramit Sethi's I Will Teach You to Be Rich: https://a.co/d/8a2oGPX

About the show:

Join us, Irene Uy and Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, both certified life coaches, as we share our stories and hear from business leaders, generational pioneers and experts as we discuss the personal, relational and professional challenges we, immigrants and children of immigrants face.

Get ready to break personal, cultural or generational barriers that get in the way of being the best version of yourself and living the best version of life!

Follow the podcast and feel free to connect with us at:

Email: thecoachisinpodcast@gmail.com

IG: @thecoachisinpodcast

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: All right.

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The coach is in.

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We are your hosts, Cat and Irene.

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Irene Uy: I'm Irene.

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I moved to the U.

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S.

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on my own 10 years ago.

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I have a background in management

engineering, earned my master's

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degree from Columbia, and secured

my permanent residence through work.

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I spent my career in real estate,

And I'm now a certified coach and

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: accredited with ICF

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and I'm Cat.

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My parents came to the States from

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landed in Milwaukee, where I was born.

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I now live in Chicago with

my two daughters and husband.

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I've always been multi passionate

and multi hyphenate and presently

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I serve others as an attorney,

podcaster, and in the personal

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development space as a retreat host

and as a certified coach as well.

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Irene Uy: Join us as we share our

stories and hear from business leaders,

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generational pioneers, and experts as

we discuss the personal, relational, and

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professional challenges we immigrants

and children of immigrants, face.

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Being a type A person myself, I

do relate with you and I think the

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past, after I quit my corporate job,

after, during the pandemic actually.

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It's I've been in this space where I'm

like, sort of figuring out the balance

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between like, how far to push myself

and how far to push self care, because

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like those are two different values that

sort of pulling in different directions.

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Right.

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And, um, what I, you know, moving forward

after that I did not want to go back to

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that old Irene where I'm like, Oh, okay.

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I'm just going to ignore my, the

signs of my body, sleep two hours

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and just get the work done, right?

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Because I was ignoring my body.

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I was ignoring my needs.

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Cause I also at that point, like, um,

even though I was negotiating for work,

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I wasn't negotiating for myself because I

didn't feel like I, that was, um, worthy

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of my time, I needed to get the work

done, but I wasn't really, um, mindful of

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what I wanted to get out of it, you know?

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So, um, Yeah, like the self care,

like prioritizing yourself versus like

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just getting it all done, like the.

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The work machines that we've turned into.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yes.

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Yes.

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And it's, I think that something that's

coming up for me as you're sharing this

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is the returns on self care sometimes

for me, at least are less obvious and

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you have to stick with it longer to

really understand and feel the reap the

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greatest rewards that I think that's

part of why hustle culture can feel so.

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Uh, rewarding or maybe addictive

sometimes is you have a checklist

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and you're checking things off or

there's like, you know, I mean,

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and I, and I have systems like this

too, that kind of feed into that.

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And at the same time, like you're saying,

there's this push and pull, but, um,

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you know, there are, we have systems out

there that, that tell us how productive we

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are, like, whether it's how many dollars

are in our bank account, how many times,

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you know, things did we, Get done quote

unquote today, which is a little bit Uh,

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you know, and like counter, you can't put,

uh, or you, I guess you could, but like,

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if you put meditation on your checklist

and it's feeling like work, then maybe

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that's not the right self care that you

need, you know, or maybe self care isn't

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occupying the space, uh, in a healthy way.

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Um, Yeah, so for me, I feel like

sometimes self care, it, it doesn't

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look the same, but it's, it might

mean sleeping an extra 30 minutes.

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It might mean, um, going for a walk

or working out, but you know, it's

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not always something that's easily

quantified and you have to, like

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you were saying about noticing the

signs of your body, you have to pay

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attention to what do you really need.

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And that's not easy to put on a

checklist or necessarily like quantify.

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Um, And track some in a linear way.

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I don't know.

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Irene Uy: Not right away at least, right?

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Cause it's not an on and off

switch that people turn on.

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It's a practice that you really have

to develop because like you said,

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the, you know, putting meditation

in your calendar ends up becoming a

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chore and that now it's become kind of

counterproductive because you use that

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time up without getting what needed

out of your meditation or your rest.

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Because I know some people like, Oh,

I'm going to take a nap, but they

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don't want to put a time limit to it.

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Because.

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Um, they don't really sleep until like,

you know, the moment you put a time limit

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to it, it's like it suddenly feels like

where I have to sleep and the moment that

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I'm not sleeping by the time the timer

starts, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm messed up.

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Like, it's become a chore.

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It's, it's so fun.

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Um, but I also wanted to add that some

people like, you know, um, It's hard

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for people to start their self care

journey because you hear different voices

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like, you know, from well intentioned

friends and family telling you like

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oh no you should work hard because

you can't quit your job or whatever.

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But self care does have a learning curve.

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Oh, no.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.

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You can't just, uh, yeah, I, I feel like

a lot of times and myself included, like

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I kind of think I need to default to

these things that so many people say are.

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Are helpful.

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And if I, and it can go one of two ways.

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One is it just doesn't work.

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Uh, or is not what I need for self care.

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And the other one is sometimes I don't

give things enough time or, you know, I'm

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not meaning to generalize my experiences

on other people, but, you know, there

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is a time when I, Like in my thirties,

it's like, I'm going to journal.

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And so I would do it and I would

be do it for maybe two weeks.

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And then I'd fall off the wagon

when I finally got to a place

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where I was actually journaling

and not a certain number of pages.

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This is just what worked for me,

but not a certain number of pages.

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Um, it might just be five things

I'm grateful for that day.

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Um, you know, whatever it might be, but.

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Taking the time to capture

what's in my brain and put it

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into a text form somewhere.

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Um, it was only after like giving

myself the freedom to make it look

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like what worked for me and finally

doing it relatively consistently

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that I started to feel like, Oh,

I kind of get why people like.

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journaling and why it makes sense.

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There's this brain dump, there's

this reference point, there's, it,

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it feels like, you know, you're

doing something for yourself.

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All this to say that,

yeah, self care is tricky.

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Self care is tricky.

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Irene Uy: I love that you, um, explain

it in that way because I feel like

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as type A high achieving people, um,

we want things optimized right away,

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but the mess is part of the process.

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The mess is part of the learning.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I love that.

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Yes.

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And I think, you know, before we hit

record, that's sort of what we were,

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um, touching on was, It's interesting

to see how we can also have varying

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levels of mess embracing, depending

on what area of life we're looking at.

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So I mentioned to Irene that when it

comes to parenting, I am very much

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like done is better than perfect.

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Uh, messy is better

than like, do it messy.

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And so that, that's just how

I parent and how I've evolved.

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But In this podcasting space, or

sometimes in the coaching space,

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I'm a little less that way.

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Uh, and so finding that, that sweet

spot of, you know, how can I let go

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of some of that counterproductive, uh,

high standards or perfectionism, uh, and

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embrace imperfection, et cetera, while

also not, um, landing in a place that

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feels as if I'm, uh, not serving the

client the way I'd like to, you know, so.

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All those different inputs

and and it's alerting.

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It's messy.

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Like you were saying.

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Irene Uy: Um, so I love

everything that you're sharing.

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Um, because what's coming up for me

is like, what, what's the, what's

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triggering the pressure to, to perform

to that standard and whose standards

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are you living by exactly right?

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Because for me, it's always like

these outside voices like, I have to,

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um, meet someone else's expectations

because in reality, um, the mess

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that we do and whatever hard work we

put into, we really don't know what

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the outcome would be in reality.

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And the openness to an outcome

that, um, we didn't really foresee

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is part of the process too.

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Because sometimes the outcome is

even better than we had expected it

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to be, or sometimes it's different

than what we expected it to be.

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Um, Not to say it's better or worse,

but it's just different, you know?

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah, I

think it's a good question because

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Depends like you were saying it.

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There's definitely these external

inputs that You know set perhaps a

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standard subconsciously that makes one

think I want it to look this way, or

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I feel like I should be doing it this

way, or it should have this impact.

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And what I'm hearing you remind me of

is that like the kind of the effort

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and, and letting go of the outcome, it

can be so helpful and can, can really,

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if looking at that can really be, um,

A mindset shift that frees you from

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feeling this pressure of like, ah, this

needs to be, I need to be recording this

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at X time in this background with this

kind of room with, in this kind of brain

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space and with this level of energy,

you know, um, and just letting things

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happen and, and knowing that the showing

up in some ways, um, the most important

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thing and the what, where, when, why.

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May be secondary.

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Um, yeah, what it's funny, like the

thing that popped up when you were

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saying, like, you're curious about

what's leading to a sense of expectation.

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There is a, uh, quote that I think is St.

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Vincent de Paul, but I'm not 100

percent sure, but some kind of Catholic

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leader, thought leader, um, but around,

like, it's not enough to do something,

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you have to do it well, and I, I, I

kind of love that in the sense that,

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We, we want, we want to show

up as in the best way we can.

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Um, it's not, for instance, in my

mind, it's like, okay, if you're going

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to be in a relationship, um, yeah,

you can show up for the date or you

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can, um, pay your share of the bills.

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Um, but is that all that

constitutes a relationship?

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No.

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Like there's, to have a healthy

relationship, there has to be

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those emotional connections and

compassion and intent, uh, and

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figuring out what's important to

each other and working with that.

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So I, I, I wholeheartedly

agree with the concept of.

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Taking into account like the holistic

picture of what it looks like to do

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something, um, well, you know, um,

and I think where it can feel like

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external pressure is when, when that

well is defined by someone else.

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So I could just as easily

define well to mean, um, like

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I'm enthusiastic about this.

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And that's what well means to me versus

well means, uh, you know, 30 minutes

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of a perfectly edited podcast episode,

or 30 minutes, 60 minutes of a power

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vinyasa class, you know, um, so that

I think that's And that's where the

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flexibility comes in and I have to

check myself because I sometimes by

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default over time just end up picking

things that, Oh, shouldn't I want this?

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Yeah, let's do the, the, the, the,

I need to do a class or I need to do

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this for 60 minutes for it to count.

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The reason fitness is coming into play

is I, this happened yesterday morning.

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I was I'm, I'm leaning into being

a morning workout person because I

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haven't been for a really long time,

but I've noticed that it's the time.

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Thank you for applauding.

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Irene was just clapping for me.

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Um, um, but I'm, I've just noticed

it's a time when fewer things

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are less likely to interfere.

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So yesterday morning, woke up, woke

up a little late, like a little slow

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to move, get dressed, et cetera.

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So I missed that.

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The, I would have missed the

start or I did miss the start of a

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particular class that I had in mind.

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I thought like, Oh, I'm not going to go

to the gym because I am not going to make

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that class that I really wanted to take.

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And then maybe five minutes passed and I

kind of sat with that thought and I was

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like, really, what's the outcome here?

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What's what does, cause that gut instinct

was to succeed in this fitness venture.

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You have to go to the 60

minute power vinyasa class.

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And then when I took a step back

and looked at it, like, wait

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a minute, movement at all and

fitness in the morning is the goal.

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So yeah, when you remove the must

make the 60 minute power vinyasa

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class and look at it that way.

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What becomes possible.

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And so, yeah, I went to the gym.

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I did the elliptical for 25

minutes and I felt great.

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And, and I know that it also is serving

that goal that I set for myself.

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But for some reason, my, like my

wiring wanted to go to like, must

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go to this class, but by, by.

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Expanding the definition of success, my

definition of well, um, doing it well.

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Um, it really allowed for more

freedom and ultimately a win for me.

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So I'm just talking through this,

like, it's a good reminder to me.

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Um, and so thank you for kind of

nudging this, this, I do have these

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mantras in my head, one of which is

that, you know, it's not enough to

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do something, you have to do it well.

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And it's empowering to know that.

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How well is defined is entirely up to me.

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Irene Uy: The two things are coming up

for me as you're sharing this, right?

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Because, um, the, um, is it

the former or the latter?

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The one where you said like, oh,

I must, I must go to this class.

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Um, it kind of reminds me

of Ray Dalio's approach.

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Um, he is the founder of

Bridgewater Associates, I think

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the largest hedge fund in the

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Mm hmm.

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Mm hmm.

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Irene Uy: in his book, Principles, he

talks about like how, um, We as humans,

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we have two versions of ourselves.

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One is the designer and one is the

person who executes the plan, basically.

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And I think it's helpful for some people,

like it's a very valid strategy, right,

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like somebody who like designs, okay,

this is what my calendar is going to

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look at, look like, and this is the plan.

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And the person who, the version of

myself who executes on that is, you

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know, somebody who doesn't question

the design anymore, because it's

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like, I'm, I'm, I'm the same way.

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It's like, I'm going to

sign up for this class.

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Do I go, do I not go up

until the very last second?

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And I'm like, now I just, I wasted

all that time, like thinking

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whether I'm going or not when, you

know, I could have just applied.

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Oh, you know, I've already decided

like when I made my calendar that

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I'm going so I'm just going to go.

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That's one way which could

be effective for some people.

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And the other way is really, um, And

I also relate to this because I feel

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like, um, you and I actually, and a

lot of people might be able to relate.

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We like to learn a lot

of things, all at once.

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And so we sort of like, you know, when,

when I am exposed to new things, it's

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like, okay, now I have to be this.

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And now I have the goalpost just never

ends because now that we're connected,

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on the internet and social media, there's

just, So many things out there that we

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think we should be right away right now.

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Um, that, uh, it's sort of

overwhelming to live up to all these

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expectations that we've absorbed

because we have too much exposure.

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Um, and the way that I like to go about

that is like, okay, well, this is where

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I'm at right now and I'm gonna, um, work

on this, um, that, whatever, um, whatever

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I see online, whatever I'm exposed

to, whatever I can learn next time.

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I will not, um, push myself or I will

not, um, put myself in a situation where

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now I'm expecting to be that when I

don't really have the time to learn to

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be whatever that is that my new exposure.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Mm.

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And how do you manage,

like, the recognition?

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Because it's one thing to say, It's

to have the feelings of, I want to

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be this, I want to learn all of this.

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And it's the, it's another thing

to recognize that you may not have

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the time or the bandwidth to honor

that desire in an effective way.

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Like I'm curious, cause I think a

lot of people might just dive in.

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There's so many, I hear a lot of online

content people talking about, like,

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do you have, do Have you taken all

the courses and, or have you started a

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billion things, but you never finished?

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Like, and it's a, it clearly

they're speaking to a pain

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point for so many people.

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I'm just curious how, like, how, how

do you navigate identifying before

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you even sign up for the class?

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Like, this is not something that I, yeah,

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Irene Uy: bringing that up

because I feel like that's

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exactly me like you know we're in.

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And dated with so many emails

like, Oh, sign up for this

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course and read this book.

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And that I'm like, and for me, I'm like,

Oh yes, that's, that sounds interesting.

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Like, I need to learn that.

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And I need to read this book.

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And I realized like, Oh, I'm in

this loop because I, I'm trying to

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digest all this material and like the

courses and with different coaches.

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And it's just impossible.

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It takes.

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I'm not sure if I'm going to digest like

the videos, even though they're free.

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Or reading a book takes time.

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And on top of that, like, besides

just going through the content once.

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Digesting the information so that

it, it goes into my long term memory

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and really understanding and relating

that to my current, um, repertoire

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of knowledge takes time too.

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So I need some, I realized that I

need some breathing room to really

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like sit on the material, um, relate

that to something that's relevant

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to me and put it into action.

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So, you know, the cycle of my learning

is really like learning the material.

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Reflecting on it, deciding what to do with

it, and then putting it to action, right?

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And so I've given myself a lot of, um,

uh, leeway to like say, this is the,

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this is the material that I'm learning.

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That's, that's it for now.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: It sounds like

you know yourself and, and you at

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various points in time collected bits

of information about how you, what

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you need to absorb the information.

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You know, you need the breathing room,

et cetera, um, in order to process

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the, uh, the new knowledge, et cetera.

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And all of that, it like, I, I, I

am applauding the acknowledgement of

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who you are and, you know, using that

as the baseline for what's possible.

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Cause I think a lot of times folks,

I mean, myself included, like where

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you forget or deny, like, I, I, I

have time, like, nevermind the fact

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that you've got weddings to go to and

school starting or whatever, you know?

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And, uh, so there's kind of almost

like this rebellious bit of denial

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or just refusal to acknowledge.

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realities.

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Um, so it's just great that, um,

what you're describing sounds like.

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Be realistic with who you

are and what's on your plate.

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Um, and then honor your, who you are by

carving out whatever it is that you need

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in order to account for this commitment.

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Um, and I like what you said too,

about like absorbing, deciding.

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And then taking action, um, because it's

kind of dovetails with what you were

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describing Ray Dalio was talking about.

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But once you decide something, I feel

like deciding is sometimes the biggest

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hurdle, like people go back and forth.

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What do I do?

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What do I do?

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It's the right thing.

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I want clarity.

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But once you decide, 90

percent of the battle.

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And then the rest of the

10 percent is commitment.

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Like, What's, what's, what's the follow

along after you've made this decision?

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How do you, how are you going

to show up for that decision?

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How do you, how does that,

are you that way too?

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Hmm.

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Mm

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Irene Uy: I love that because like

actually, um, my husband tells

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me that, you know, I've never met

anyone who keeps on changing her

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mind and I do change my mind a lot.

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So I'm on the same boat as he is.

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And I'm thinking to myself,

like, wait, wait a minute.

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Like, that's how my dad is.

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Whenever my dad is like that, I'm

asking what new information did

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you, um, realize that, you know,

made you flip the decision, right?

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Because like, why would you flip a

decision because there's new information

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or you changed your heart about it.

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And, but the only way that you're

really going to know for sure

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test out the decision is through

action, because otherwise you're

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just like, um, negotiating

with yourself inside your head.

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And that doesn't move anyone forward.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah,

it's, and that is a learning.

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And I think sometimes.

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People can learn it in one arena and

then, and implement that, like, I

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know I need to take action to figure

out what the right path forward is.

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Um, but yeah, people might implement

it in one area of their lives, but

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not necessarily feel comfortable

to do that in another area.

359

But I completely agree that

the thinking isn't enough.

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Like you can, it's like Hamlet, right?

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Where, uh, just overthinking and,

and stewing and rumination around

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like, what, what's the best thing?

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Well, yes, taking action is

what's going to give you the

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information to figure that out.

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Um, so yeah, I love that you

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Irene Uy: The, the other part of

that that I thought about just now

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is like, perhaps we are afraid to

own up to the consequences of the

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re of the result of that decision.

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And that's a bigger part of it, right?

370

Like, why are you afraid to take the step?

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It's because you, um, haven't quite.

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Develop the gut to face the

content, the potential consequences.

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And on the flip side of that, you,

you also are not prepared to, um, I'm

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trying to find the word because I read

somewhere that, you know, you're healing

375

not to be able to endure the pain, you're

healing to be able to endure the joy.

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So in the same, vein, when you

make a decision, if you're not

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ready to face the consequences,

you're also not ready to face.

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Um, the winds almost, right?

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: mm, mm.

380

That's, that's interesting.

381

Yeah, I hadn't thought of it that way.

382

Um,

383

yeah, huh.

384

You're just, certainly,

the, uh, by not healing.

385

It, those joys are not, um, on the

table as opportunities, uh, they,

386

they're not possibilities in the

same way they are as if you do heal.

387

So I, that I see, I can, I

had to sit with that, but I

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Irene Uy: Mm hmm.

389

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: the intention

is behind the statement for sure.

390

Hmm.

391

Yeah.

392

Um,

393

Irene Uy: I was thinking, like,

this actually ties into our earlier

394

conversation when I was talking about,

like, you know, my three pronged

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approach to life, which is, like,

relationships, health, and finances.

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Because a lot of people, especially in

Asian families, they, all they see is,

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like, oh, you know, um, because financial

security is also a survival thing, right?

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Like, it's very important.

399

Mm hmm.

400

So what, what, um, the tangible thing

that people see is like how much money

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you're making, like, are you secure?

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Are you able to afford shelter and

raise a family, blah, blah, blah.

403

Um, but for a lot of people, including

myself, um, it's hard to work on

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that when, um, you don't have a clear

understanding of your identity, of

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your relationships and your health.

406

Um, because, um, you know, as, as

we now understand, um, what with our

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exposure with health and coaching

is that a lot of people have a lot

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of mental roadblocks, um, from their

previous experiences, be that in

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school, family, or their previous work

experiences that hold them back, right?

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Like, they're not able to.

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Um, speak up for themselves at work.

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Um, they're not able to negotiate

for themselves because they

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don't feel like they deserve it.

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And so, you know, I'm working on healing

ourselves is actually going to propel all

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the other aspects of our lives, including,

um, Our financial goals like when we

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finally work towards our financial.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: hmm.

418

Mm hmm.

419

Yeah, I, I, um, you were relating, uh,

stories earlier about how healing your

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relationships and we're doing the work

in that arena has actually opened up,

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uh, more financial possibility for you.

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And, uh, and, uh, like without doing

that work, you wouldn't be able to

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unlock those opportunities or the, those

possibilities, um, in the same way.

424

Uh, I, I think that's Yeah,

that's so much of it, right?

425

It's like, what are those issues?

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What are those, uh, limiting beliefs?

427

Um, what, why do you think

the way that you think?

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And is this what you really want?

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Like, has it been serving you?

430

It's so fascinating.

431

And I think all the things that we as

coaches try to, uh, tackle, um, and I

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love, I just love that you brought that

up because I think sometimes people

433

lose Um, people get really wrapped up in

tactics, um, because there's a lot out

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there and yeah, you can see some short

term results like, okay, I'm going to

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put whatever 2 percent of my savings

or you know, like automatic withdrawals

436

or like, there's, there's definitely

some guidelines and metrics that are,

437

and tactics that are easy to implement.

438

Um, but if you don't also get

at the underlying emotional.

439

um, you, you probably won't end up

where you want to, or if you do, it's

440

only going to be that way on paper.

441

And when it comes time to actually spend

it, who knows how things might turn out?

442

You know, like I, I'm a big fan

of, uh, this author Ramit Sethi.

443

He wrote a book called, I

will teach you to be rich.

444

And he has a podcast and things

like that, but he, he dives a

445

lot into like, why is it that.

446

You feel like you can't invest or why is

it that your husband's spending triggers

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you, you know, and then it turns out that

yes, there's family issues or there's

448

past experiences that make them fearful

or resentful or, um, you know, freeze

449

up, uh, and, and truly like getting

at the heart of the wise is essential.

450

Like, you can have all, all your ducks

in a row, but if the, if your heart and

451

your soul isn't behind it and kind of

looking to use, um, that alignment in

452

a positive way moving forward, like it

just, it, uh, you still won't be happy.

453

Irene Uy: Yeah, or I feel like people

who have worked have been working on

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their financial goals while, um, you

know, not really paying attention to, uh,

455

their health and their relationships and

everything else that they carry within

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their heart and soul, they are still able

to achieve, um, their financial goals.

457

It just takes up so

much more energy, right?

458

Whereas when you release your, of the

weight of your emotional baggage, um,

459

by working on your relationships and

also like your health, then, um, these

460

Other two pillars sort of work with you

to achieve your other goals, like in in

461

this case, your financial goal, right?

462

Um, sorry.

463

I thought about another conversation

that I had because someone that I

464

recently spoke with said, um, you

know, why am I working on myself?

465

Why am I doing the inner work?

466

Because I'm also, um, uh,

what do you call this?

467

It helps me, um, See, um, how other people

are emotionally manipulating me because

468

I know there, there are people who like,

you know, maybe successful, but they

469

don't see how they're being manipulated

and negotiations or how they're being

470

guilted into like, um, sending money.

471

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Oh, well,

Irene, I feel like this has

472

been a great conversation.

473

Um, what do you have any parting?

474

Like, what's your parting thought

to leave with the listeners?

475

Irene Uy: so as I'm reflecting on that

conversation today, we, I mean, as, as

476

usual, we go on different topics, but

what stood out for me is that it's,

477

uh, we talked about self care , as

a, tool to combat perfectionism.

478

And the other part of our conversation

today really revolved around, doing

479

the inner work so that all of

your goals are in alignment, right?

480

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.

481

Yeah.

482

Yeah.

483

The inner work, um, comes, has to

come first or at least at the very

484

least be simultaneous to, uh, the

work on other goals, but doing the

485

inner work, um, is so important.

486

Yeah.

487

That, that definitely

is a takeaway for me.

488

I was thinking about how you

were describing giving yourself

489

the appropriate amount of space

and time to process a course or

490

take in information, uh, so that.

491

You could then move forward with a

decision and after that take action.

492

And I think, uh, accounting for our own

realities and being, being honest with

493

ourselves, which I think a lot of times,

um, we don't want to be honest with

494

ourselves cause it's less comfortable.

495

It may be uncomfortable.

496

We may be holding ourselves to

unrealistic standards or high

497

expectations that don't serve us.

498

And, um, you know, just kind of.

499

taking a frank look at things and, and,

and being willing to work with what

500

you have and start with where you are.

501

Um, that, that kind of resonated with

me from, from our conversation, as well

502

as, I mean, and that kind of plays into,

you get to decide what well looks like.

503

So if you're going to do something well,

you get to decide what what well means.

504

So for me, you know, depending on the

arena, it may be showing up messy, or

505

it may be, um, you know, just showing

up at the gym, even if it's for 10

506

minutes on the treadmill versus,

you know, 90 minutes or whatever,

507

whatever else might be at play.

508

But, um, giving yourself permission

to write your own definition of

509

what well looks like, uh, I think

is one of the things I would

510

like to leave with listeners.

511

Irene Uy: I love that.

512

I hope that today's episode was

meaningful for our audience.

513

And if there was anything that stood

out or you want to hear more of or

514

dive deeper into, because I feel like

a lot of our topics can really expand

515

into, um, a deeper conversation, please

just leave it in the comments below.

516

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Great.

517

Thanks, Irene.

518

As we wrap up today's session,

we invite you to reflect on what

519

resonated with you in today's episode.

520

If you're interested in exploring

the topic as it relates to your

521

own personal experience, head

to the show notes and visit

522

www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

523

Irene Uy: get ready to break personal,

cultural, or generational barriers.

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That gets in the way of being the

best version of yourself and living

525

the best version of your life.