When you’re replaying a breakup, imagining a different version of yourself your partner might have loved more, or worrying that someone is “settling,” the problem isn’t the relationship, it’s the way your brain is using other people’s opinions to try to regulate your self-worth.

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about rejection and attraction that illustrate how quickly your mind will outsource your value to someone else’s thoughts. I break down why your brain becomes so invested in mental rehearsals, fantasies, and what-ifs, and how those patterns keep you from seeing your actual emotional life clearly.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/449

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Mentioned in this episode:

How to Ask for What You Want

Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET

Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here