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495. Coaching Hotline: Stop Romanticizing the Future & Why We Chase People Who Don’t Want Us
Episode 49526th May 2026 • UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone • Kara Loewentheil
00:00:00 00:13:42

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Do you ever find yourself planning for the future and imagining how perfect it's going to be? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about fantasies and expectations. I explore why romanticizing the future can take you out of the present and why trying to control your thoughts about someone else only makes you feel more out of control.

I break down how our brains trick us into conflating circumstances and thoughts, showing why happiness and fulfillment are created by the thoughts you are having now, not by money, experiences, or other people. You’ll hear why striving to reject negative emotions or desires only gives them power, and why chasing validation from others is ultimately about how you relate to yourself.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/495

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Mentioned in this episode:

You're Invited: Coach-Curious Masterclass

Whether you’re still deciding if coaching is the path for you – or wondering why your sessions don’t feel as powerful as you know they could – this one-hour masterclass gives you the clarity and tools to move forward. JUNE 26, 2026 12 p.m. – 1p.m. ET Click here to enroll: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/coach-curious-masterclass

Enroll in the Coach-Curious Masterclass here!

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