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Finding Your Relaunch: Embracing New Chapters Before Crisis Strikes
Episode 19910th January 2024 • The ReLaunch Podcast • Hilary DeCesare
00:00:00 00:37:57

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Discover how to craft a life that resonates with your passions and values with the wisdom of Kate House, the dynamo behind the "Live by Design" podcast. Together, we wade through the complexities of balancing the roles of parenthood, entrepreneurship, and personal growth without losing one's spark. Kate brings to the table her concept of "being where your feet are," emphasizing the importance of presence and deliberate scheduling to thrive in each aspect of life. We also laugh over her 'quarter-life crisis' and draw inspiration from her approach to setting 'goals with soul'—a method that ensures our objectives are not just checkboxes but extensions of our innermost desires.

Navigating the intricate dance of pursuing dreams while maintaining our roles as parents and entrepreneurs, Kate's 300+ podcast is filled with stories that inspire relaunches and reignite passion. Sharing strategies that keep our engines running—like employing a simple 10-minute timer to kick off work or being the supportive voice we once yearned for—illustrates that it's possible to sustain that entrepreneurial drive amidst life's demands. We candidly admit that the quest to 'do it all' often leads to burnout, reinforcing that giving oneself grace and showing up consistently can forge a path to long-term success.

In an emotionally charged conversation, we turn to the delicate balance between setting goals and navigating grief. Kate opens up about the loss of her brother and how pausing, leaning into community support, and memorializing loved ones can teach invaluable lessons about growth and self-compassion. As we discuss the healing practices that have supported her journey—like revisiting old podcast episodes and walking to soul-stirring music—we honor the ebb and flow of life's seasons. This episode is a heartfelt testament to living passionately in the moment and finding the courage to relaunch into our best selves, any time, any season.

About Our Guest:

Hi friend, I’m Kate House! By day you can find me running around our small town of Gettysburg, PA with my two little boys as a stay-at-home mom and wife to my college sweetheart, and by night I’m the host of The Live By Design Podcast, health coach, educator, meditation enthusiast, slow-but-steady-runner, and creator of my women-focused personal growth group - The LBD Collective. It’s my purpose in life to help others release personal-growth overwhelm, get unstuck, and finally take the action to launch you in the direction of your dreams. Together, let's live by design, not default.

https://mskatehouse.com/

The Empowered Self SummitThis podcast summit was created to support you in nurturing your mind, energizing your body, and awakening your soul so you can move through your day with energy, intention, and focus. Inside of the All Access Pass you'll find access to the full 20+ episode private podcast feed, over 6+ hours of coaching sessions and masterclasses, your Self Care Audit, plus the summit workbook to take your reflection and implementation practices to the next level

For Free Access Visit: https://mskatehouse.thinkific.com/courses/the-empowered-self-summit-all-access-pass-evergreen   and use code "relaunchco" for 100% off (a $97 value!)

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Transcripts

Hilary DeCesare:

Welcome back everyone to a another episode of the ReLaunch podcast. And you know how much I love bringing you guys that are breaking through the barriers trying to figure out how do you actually make life work right on your terms on what you really will have as we say the three HQ head heart highest self to light you up where you are operating at your best self and trying to stay there, even when things are getting a little bit more challenging. And so today I am super excited to have this guest on because she's doing this. She is creating and crafting a life on her terms. And this becomes so important. Especially if you are a mom of little kiddos. If you are a mom, with you've got you know, older kids that are you might even be a mom of empty nester or you've got multiple things going on in your life that you feel like you've got that ownership of I've got to be also watching over this other might be a project it might be an animal, it might be a, it might be a child, it could be anything. And so I have today Kate House, and by day, I have to say you can find Kate running around her small town of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. She's got two little boys, and she's a stay at home mom and wife to her college sweetheart, which I absolutely love. But it's what she does it night that adds fuel to her fire. And what she does at night is that she is a host of the podcast which I was just on the live by design podcast. So think about that live by design. She gives awesome health coaching opportunities there educator, she's a meditation enthusiast, she is slow, but a steady runner. So she's you know, getting into the athletic, she's trying to do it all being that creator of her woman focus, personal growth group and the LBD collective and it's her purpose in life, to help others actually release and get unstuck, right? Because this is personal growth can sometimes be incredibly overwhelming. And she wants people to know how can you finally take action and ready for this to launch you in the direction of your dreams. She's got some really amazing tips and strategies that she's going to be sharing with us. As we're coming into whether you're listening in the new year, or a new quarter, it's setting goals with soul and I you know me, I'm all about three h q and that highest soul that highest self that best version of you. So we're gonna dive into all of that.

Hilary DeCesare:

You're listening to the relaunch podcast and I'm your host Hillary to Caesar, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Hilary DeCesare:

First and foremost, welcome, Kate, to the show today.

Kate House:

Oh my gosh, Hillary, thank you so much after that introduction, my goodness, thank you. So that's equal to do

Hilary DeCesare:

this. Yeah, do this girl. I mean, vague expectations. But I do love that when I was on your show. It was at night you had already have you know, dinner out with the, with the kids and the hubby and all that and it's where you get really super like, you know, engaged. This is where you kind of go from you. You turn. You know, if you think about a wheel in the old days of the cranking the wheel, you're like cranking the wheel and turning it and you're changing directions. How first and foremost, how difficult is it to go from Okay, mom, and now I'm mompreneur and then I'm wife and so I kind of feel like you have a lot Have a lot of different doors that you go into. And then you come out and you're, you're this incredible magician, but how do you do it?

Kate House:

Oh, thank you. Yes, well, magician might be the right word because it feels like it takes a little bit of magic. But I definitely don't do it perfectly, it requires, I find the thing that helps me the best to show up. And each of these roles is being really clear with our family schedule, because you know, my office is in our basement, like I work from home. And so when I come down to work, I'm really clear, you know, like, Okay, kids, you're hanging out with dad, like, Please don't come in the basement because I'm recording, right. And it's just giving myself permission to I love that saying, Be Where Your Feet are. And so because I planned well, like when I'm in work mode, I can really enjoy it. And I don't have to be worrying about like, my oldest who was home sick today, right? Or, you know, our elderly dog or whatever the case is, I can just be where my feet are. And then when I'm with my kids, I'm not worried about my work email, or I'm not at you know, because I'm just, I'm being where my feet are.

Hilary DeCesare:

That's such a great expression.

Kate House:

It's so hard to do. But you know, I just show up and try to do it each day. And, you know, I'm not perfect, and I definitely dropped balls sometimes. But I just tried to be really graceful with myself, especially in a season where our kids are a little and and that's okay, right sometimes just showing up consistently is the most important part to me. Well,

Hilary DeCesare:

what I thought was so important, there's a lot of people out there right now that actually you know are starting to have grandkids and you know, so we got we got a cross section of people that are have the kids are empty nesters, having grandkids wanting to try to have that life, like you say, you know, live by design. And it's challenging. And you're saying, you know, it's gotta be you gotta calendar it, you have to optimize your schedule. But when you think about the biggest relaunch, is it right now in your life? Or is there something that came before this? Oh, I

Kate House:

love this question. I love the framing with re launch because it's such a it's so positive. Right? It's so empowering. So my big relaunch actually came when I was 25. I like jokingly say that I had a quarter life crisis but a very punctual person, right at 25. I was like, What am I doing with my life? And up until that point, I had been a box ticker, right? I'm very much type A personality high achiever. Enneagram. Three, right recovering perfectionist seems like always, and I think

Hilary DeCesare:

there's a lot of our listeners out there that are raising their hands right now. Yeah, maybe one, maybe two, maybe three. Or,

Kate House:

like I say, friends, I see you. And so I was a great box ticker, I did well in elementary school and junior high in high school and graduated college, Phi Beta Kappa and got the career that I was, you know, supposed to have, quote, unquote, right. And had incredible colleagues. It was in this great field, I got to travel for work, but it just wasn't lighting me up. And I had something else on my heart that I wanted to pursue, and I wasn't, and I just felt like, it was like, there was a dimmer switch on me. And I switch, it just been like, dimmed. And eventually, it just got to a point where I was just really, I just felt stuck. And I remember crying and frustration. One night, my sweet husband was sitting next to me kind of like rubbing my back, and I'll never forget it, he wants, I just wish I could make it better. And we don't all get the gift of like a light bulb moment. But like, I felt the light bulb turned on. And I had this moment of clarity. Like, what, like nothing changes, if nothing changes. And then I realized to what I'm not changing, I'm choosing. And that's when I realized, like, Okay, if I can, if I'm choosing what my day looks like, what I choose the way that I feel right now, or what I choose a different path. And so that kind of set me on this, this path, this, it's been nine years since I made that decision to pretty drastically shift things for myself. And it's not always easy, and there's been bumps along the way. And I've certainly learned a lot, but I feel so much more fulfilled and content and joyful and goal oriented, because I'm finally checking the boxes that are important to me, and I'm worried less about the perception or what I feel might be expected of me, you know, from outside forces, and that feels that's a good place to be. And that's what fuels my work, right? My relaunch is I'm like, if I can condense this nine year journey for somebody else into something much more manageable, and maybe they don't have to get to the place of burnout before they have that realization. That's what really, really fuels me. Well, you know,

Hilary DeCesare:

what's interesting is that I often push people on their why. Right? And it's, it feels like, you know, oh, yeah, I got it. No, my Why I gotta know why. Why, but there is a big reason that people need to know their why. And that's exactly what you are proving right now. because you know, you had your and I love that the quarter crisis and we discussed on your podcast about you know, I really call it an identity crisis because you're trying to really figure out where do you want to go? What's the next 25 years going to forget about midlife? I just got to figure out like, what am I going to do right now? And for so many we we label it, this crisis. And a crisis just seems desperate, right? And so when you can go to that place where you say, you know, how do you really want to feel when you're doing what you're doing? When you get up in the morning? What's going to drive you to go sit in your office or for you at night? What is going to be like, not heavy, like, oh, gosh, I've got to go do this. But I want to go do it. Like I'm jazzed. I get jazzed every time I get on, and do a podcast with people like you. It's like, lucky me. Pinch me right now that I end up taking so much out of these conversations. But when you looked at this, and you're really, you know, the feelings that you really wanted to have in regards to being a mom, which was super important, but then also having an entrepreneurial business. What were what were you going for? What was your why? Yeah,

Kate House:

well, I love this. You know, my why early on. So when I started my show, this all started with my podcast, like the business all that came after. And so I had been a yoga teacher, I had been a holistic health coach. And I just felt like, there was something else I wanted to do. And I had had it on my heart for the longest time, like, I want to start a podcast, but I was like, scared to say it out loud. And then my best friend texted me one day and was like, I don't know why, but I think you should start a podcast and I was like, okay, universe, I will listen. It's

Hilary DeCesare:

funny how we always have to have external validation. Right? On, we need to have internal validation, like, you know, you kept being hit. We talked about this with like, you need to start a podcast, you need to start a podcast. Hey, everyone out there listening right now, what voice of your own is telling you you need to do something? Can we please in 2024 and beyond listen to the voice,

Kate House:

the trust your intuition, like it knows what's right. And when I finally did do it, it felt so right. And so for me, my why really, in that season, I started the podcast in the summer of 2020. So it had been a couple months into the pandemic. And at the time, I had a one year old and a two and a half year old. And I felt myself kind of losing myself to my motherhood journey. And I love being like, my favorite thing in the world as being the mom to these little boys. But I felt like I was missing that thing that was like, like, that was Kate, right? Like the me that is not related to any kind of role that I play in the world. Other than like my relationship with myself. And so at that time, I was really leaning into personal growth and development. And so I started my podcast really, as a way to keep myself accountable to my journey and continuing it even with these other layers of motherhood added on and then I loved it so much. And that's a cool thing about giving yourself permission to try. And like I might have tried and been awful, it might have been terrible. And I would have been like that was a cool learning experience that I've got this nice microphone now. But like, maybe that's the end of that chapter. But maybe I would have learned something that would have propelled me in a different direction. But I tried and I showed up messy for a really long time. And so I kind of figured it out. And I fell in love with it. And then it's turned into the live by design co now like my business and my coaching practice, and

Hilary DeCesare:

you've done how many podcasts now how many points man

Kate House:

when this drops will be really close to 300?

Hilary DeCesare:

I mean, come on. I'm getting I'm getting close to the 200 mark. And I'm like, wow, this is so great. Because I think about you know, 200 of these like incredible relaunch journeys. And when you're when you're talking what I really admire so much about and the main reason I'm like, we got to get on this, we got to talk I feel that you're not so when you get up in the morning, and when you are done with the kids, you then start your other job, the other one their entrepreneurial journey job. And you can't do that as long as your day job right now, which is taking care of your kids or you would have no sleep. Yeah. How do you how do you how do you have the energy? How do you have like, enough stamina to literally say, All right, I've read the book and I love wha Hey honey, I'm Going down into the basement. How do you do it? Yeah,

Kate House:

that's such a great question. I think I have this, like, this dog had belief in myself that I can build something that serves and supports others and also generates income and feels abundant and exciting. And so even on the days when I don't feel like it, I just told my, like, 10 minutes, like, just set a 10 minute timer and like, show up for 10 minutes, and almost every time I set a 10 minute timer, and then you get 10 minutes in and you're like, oh, yeah, I love this, like, this is the work that lights me up. But for me, you know, I a big part of it is I mean, it's so rudimentary, but I'm like, if I don't get enough sleep, that like the likelihood of me showing up to a six o'clock zoom call and feeling like I can really serve well, is really low. So like, it's really the basics. And it's reminding myself like, when I was in that season, that the woman I serve as in right now, I just wanted somebody to reach out a hand and be like, let me help you. Let me support you, let me like offer you a guide map, right, let me give you a couple steps that you can try out for yourself and I think have passed Kate a lot. And I'm like, Man, I want to be that, that voice of kindness and encouragement, and hopefully, maybe a little bit of insight for others who are in that season. So yeah, I just I try to take care of myself, I think of the women I serve. And I give myself a lot of grace, you know, if there is a night where it's like, I'm just really pooped like, it's okay. Like, I'll just work a little extra over the weekend or something like that. But to see the like, you're saying 200 episodes for your show, 300 for LBD. You see, it accumulates over time, which is really cool. And so if you just keep showing up in these small pockets of time, you can do so much, you just have to give yourself permission just to start. And then you just have to give yourself permission to keep showing up. Even if it's not perfect. It's even better when it's not perfect. Well,

Hilary DeCesare:

and as you're saying this, it's really, you know, I was thinking about this the other day, as relaunch is going into its next season. Literally you so many seasons, there's lots and lots of seasons going on. He be seasons, you know, podcast show seasons, and then you know, the overall like life season. And what I have started to really realize is, you know, we all want to be able to do it all. And many of us, you know, hey, I give you all like kudos and shout outs. And, yes, you can do it all. But you shouldn't want to do at all because that's what causes exhaustion and to live life, on your own terms where you're actually still able to do the things that are really passion for you. And passion with your family that you've expressed so many times, you know, I've got I absolutely adore being with my, my kids. In fact, they're all coming in two days. And I'm like getting like thinking about it. But I also love to go out and hike with my husband II and have those moments where Hey, on a on a weekday school day, you know, we're gonna go out for you know, a couple hour hike in the morning just to kick it off. I'm far better those days. And it's really giving yourself this idea that we think I don't have time. I don't have time, I don't have time. But actually when you do those passion things that really are in your specific wheelhouse, like this lights you up that fuels you. And I know that you love to set goals. But you do it with that setting goals with the soul, can you because it's such perfect actually, it's always perfect timing. But it's really perfect timing right now. So tell us what you and what you do differently in this whole goal setting, you know that we're hearing so much about these days?

Kate House:

Yes. Well, I think that there's so many ways to set goals. And so what I'll share with you today is just one approach, right? And you try on and you see if it fits and if it does awesome. And if it doesn't, there's so many out there. But what what I do a little differently is that I want you to be really connected with why is this important to you? That's one of the steps is just it has to be important to you. It can't be the goal. Like when I was sharing Mike my quarter life crisis, right, my relaunch that happened because I was ticking off everyone else's boxes for my life. Right? Even if they're well intentioned, they weren't for me. And sometimes I find even as adults we set goals because we're like, Well, that's what I'm supposed to wonder that's what I should want or that's what society tells me I should want but like do you actually want it? So I think in that interesting

Hilary DeCesare:

that is so true. Yeah back and reassess it and say whose role is this? Is this your husband? Is this your you know, partner? Is this your you know, Mom Add, like whose is it? And somebody doesn't belong to you?

Kate House:

Yeah. Or maybe it's even like a past version of yourself. Like maybe past Kate really wanted, thought she really wanted something and then realize like, Oh, now current Kate's, like, oh, maybe maybe that actually isn't in alignment anymore. Maybe, maybe it's just not for this season, right. And so when I set a goal was soul, I want it to be something that excites you, that help that motivates you to show up on the days you don't want to. And I like to start first with whether you're listening to this in January or, or, you know, middle of the year, I like to think about setting an intention for the 12 months to come. Whether that's you know, started the new year, middle of the year, end of the year, you can do this at any time. So for me and 2024, I want to feel empowered, that's my word. And

Hilary DeCesare:

such a great word, right? So

Kate House:

good. And in past years, I've been in seasons where ease was a word that I chose, right? Or content was a word that I've chosen in the past, but empowered feels really good for me this year. And so I picked this word, because that allows me to set some quarterly goals and distill those down into daily and weekly habits. And it makes it really easy to decide like, is this habit supportive of my ultimate desire to feel empowered, right? So I pick this word. And then I like to say that there are four things that each goal was soul is the first is that it's aspirational? Am I aspirational? I mean, like, future Kate, one year from now Kate, or one year from now Hillary could totally do this. Like she's got the know how the confidence, like maybe a little bit of swagger. She's like, Yeah, I can totally do that. But maybe like, currently is a little like, Oh, this is a little, this is a little bit outside of my comfort zone. It gives me a little bit of the butterflies, but in a good way. Right? aspirational. How does that feel for you, Hillary, when you think of like aspirational, as it relates to your own goals,

Hilary DeCesare:

I call them skeezy goals scary and crazy. They gotta like, they need to be a little bit if if they're just like, oh, yeah, I can do that. I can hit that. It's not the right goal. The intention here is it is aspirational, like you said, and remember that the brain and I love digging more and more and you know, into the brain behind it than the science behind it. The brain really wants to not have some big lofty thing that it's trying to figure out like, Whoa, how am I going to do that? Because your subconscious is supposed to be keeping you safe and familiar. And that big, lofty goal is actually really awful for it. And it wants to say no, no, no, no pullback, pullback. That's why you don't just set that crazy aspirational goal, you need to bring it back to now that you said that future self like you said, future identity. Now, I know that your second step ties so nicely in line with what we do and how the brain works. So tell us about the second step.

Kate House:

Exactly. And it's funny, because you might think that these two things are at odds, but I think they actually work together really well. The second step is that it's attainable. So if you showed up every day, every other day for 30 minutes, and you put one foot in front of the other towards achieving this goal, whatever it is, could you do it in about six to 12 months. And I like to think of that six to 12 month timeframe. Let's just say first of all, there's no time limit on your goals. Like it took me three years to become a top 2% podcaster. Right. Like, I grew it from nothing. So that takes time, right? But when I think of these goals was soul, like if I had set that goal for myself back in July of 2020, I would have quit by like September.

Hilary DeCesare:

The truth? Oh my god, if we knew if we knew what we know now,

Kate House:

you know, so instead like, no, let's think of something let's choose a goal that's attainable. And the next six to 12 months if you show up consistently and do it right. So it's aspirational, exciting. It's a little outside of your current abilities. Like maybe it requires you to grow a little bit. It's also attainable. And in that way exactly right. Your brain isn't like yep, Nope, we're not doing we're not doing

Hilary DeCesare:

the shutdown, alert. function like

Kate House:

abort, abort. Yeah, we're aspirational. We're attainable the next is that it's meaningful. And this is where the soul part really comes in. It has to be meaningful to you your goal was soul should be so unique to you that if somebody else were to pursue it, you'd be like that doesn't fit that doesn't make sense because this is your goal. Right? So if one of my goals is to grow my my coaching community, right the women that I work with on a regular basis, like if that were my husband school would be like, but that doesn't make any sense. Right? So I need to this is where like you have to listen to yourself, your Listen to your intuition, listen to your inner knowing. Maybe this means getting quiet, maybe it's going for a hike with your partner and having conversations around the topic. Maybe it's maybe it's journaling. There's so many ways you can tune in with yourself. But I find that when I set a goal is well, that's meaningful for me. I like feel it in my chest. Like, I feel like a warmth in my heart center. And I'm like, okay, yeah, this, this resonates. And so

Hilary DeCesare:

interesting when you're saying that, because I sit there, and I hear meaningfulness like, and you said, you know, it can't be somebody else's goal. I love that. But it also has to have you have to have such clarity. I think that meaningful gets very vague. In a lot of people, they, they say, oh, I want to, you know, increase my, you know, amount of reach and grow my and grow my membership, my audience, my community, whatever it is. But what does that really mean? And that's why I love meaningful, the main reason behind it is so important, and that I think it's so excellent that you're putting that in as one of the steps because it does make you people rush through their goals. Yeah, a rush. And they're just like, and again, it goes back to what we were talking about early, like, what's the why behind it? What's the meaning? Why do you really want this? And it's all around the feeling? What is the feeling that you are going for when you hit that goal? So we've got aspirational, attainable, meaningful? And the last one

Kate House:

is seasonal? And like, yes, it could be a season of the year. Sure if that if that's part of your goal. So absolutely. But when I talk about seasonal goals, I'm talking about what season of life are you in? Like? Do you have two little ones at home? Or are you an empty nester? Or are you still working a full time job and like doing a side hustle, like what season of life are you in and set a goal that that resonates with that season of life. So for example, in 2023, I hosted two virtual summits. And if I had set that goal for myself, like Kate of 2020, or 2021, or even 2022, if I had set that goal for myself, I had been like, whoa, Nelly, I do not have the bandwidth for that mentally, energetically like it wasn't in the cards. But come 2023 I was in a season of life where I was like, Yeah, I could do that, like, feels a little scary, but I trust that I could figure it out and like grow through the process and create impact. And so I want your goal to be your goal is sold to be seasonally appropriate. Don't use that as an excuse to like limit yourself or to think small, like, I still want you to be aspirational. But let's just be realistic of the season that we're in. Last year, I was in a season of grief. And so that impacted my goals was soul. You know, as I was grieving the loss of my brother, my capacity was just lower and it's not good or bad. It just was right. And so let's just be kind to ourselves and let our goals this will really be reflective of the season you're in.

Hilary DeCesare:

Okay, you touched on something so near and dear because we did discuss this, that I lost my mom then I lost my dad, and you were mentioning about the loss of your brother. And which I'm so my heart is literally going out to right now in 90 massive connection. But you have to have that grace that I look at, you know, when I last you know when I go through these griefs and traumas and relaunches, right because there's positive relaunches and the negative relaunches that are really tough to go through, you have to be willing to say, There's reasons that this is all happening. And too many people think, charge through just keep grinding, I got to just get through. And that's when we talk about energy leaks. That's when we talk about like you, the universe is going to deliver to you. But it's not going to it's not a matter of you forcing the second you start to force something. So can you share with us a little bit about the passing of your brother, and how you just were willing to say, I got it, I gotta step back for a sec. Yeah,

Kate House:

you know, it was a really, it was a learning experience for me to realize, like, I can take the goals I was working on prior to when he got sick, and just like put them on this virtual or like in my mind, like the shelf and I was like, I see you I still love you. I'll be back for you, but just not right now. Right? So my brother he got sick in the summer of 2022. And he had had Have you ever had COVID and then he got pneumonia. And my brother was a type one diabetic and had a lot of a lot of medical complications. And so he got sick. And he was in the ICU for about three weeks, I think, before he passed. And so it was very, it was sudden in that, you know, he was fine. And then he was sick. And then he was gone. Right. And so it was this, like you said, very a traumatic event, for sure. Heartbreaking. And in that, in that I learned one that I there's so many people who love you out there who loved me, love anyone listening, and you can lean on them, like you don't have to go through it alone. And that was like, such a gift to me. It was like the people who reached out and we started Memorial Fund for my brother and we put in a couple benches at his favorite zoo, right. And so we put in three benches because people were so generous and just so supportive, right, or the friends who cooked meals or sent cards or for me, I love houseplants like people get to be plants. And I was like This brought me so much joy. Right. And then also I just I learned how to get back in touch with myself. And I kind of realized, in the same way that going through the pandemic, I didn't come out the same person, I grew and I learned and I was changed in a good way through the loss of my brother, it wasn't like this return to my old self. It was like, there were just new layers to me or new depths that I didn't have before. And I know a love and appreciation, even greater appreciation for life. And it gave me the chance to give myself permission to slow down. And so I had planned a whole other season on my podcast, and I took a month and I was like, Hey guys, I love you. I'm gonna reread some old episodes. So this will still like you'll still have episodes, but like I cannot create right now. And so I gave myself a month for that. And walking, I don't know what was helpful for you, Hillary. But walking for me, was so helpful to just kind of metabolize my feelings. And sometimes I'd even listen to music. And like, if I felt really sad, I'd listen to really sad music. And if I felt really angry, I'd listen to like really angry music. And I would not say Oh, good, it was so yeah. And that really allowed me to move through the grief or with it. And it was almost like, you know, it's like waves where it's like really big waves really close together. And then they get smaller, and they get farther apart. But even just last night, I was just cleaning up from dinner, and I was talking to my husband and I like dawned on me that my brother's second birthday without Him was rolling around and I got a little teary, right and, and you just have to hold space for yourself in those moments and realize that like we're human beings, and like, it's so beautiful that we have this whole range of emotions, and you don't have to push it aside or force your way through. Sometimes the only way is through like you just have to you have to allow yourself to experience it, instead of fighting it. So I guess it's it was it taught me how to surrender more and maybe let go of that tight fist of control that I thought I might but

Hilary DeCesare:

one of my favorite words, I gotta tell you, so yeah, I've surrendered so many times over the last, you know, three, four years. Wow. And I agree, I actually found a lot of comfort in the podcast episodes, being able, because it was a form of an escape for me. And I have gone back and listen to episodes that, you know, I filmed when I first started when I was really mom had just passed, you know, a few months before and I was just like whole. And it was the time I could hear in my voice that I was actually like There's happiness, there's, there's joy. And I think what people sometimes find when really awful things happen in their life unexpected or even expected and you just know it's coming, that we think we have to be like either all in the sad and the, you know, the grief. But the best part about it is the phases of grief and being able to move through them. And there has to be and that's why you know, we talk often about the tuning process and elevating our energy, even if it's only for 1015 minutes. You don't want today. It does give you you keep growing that habit and you got to find you know different outlets because you're not meant to stay in that grief. 24/7 So, wow, this has been so wonderful to have you on the show and I would love to share with everyone listening where can they where can they find you? How can they get involved in your wonderful world?

Kate House:

Thank you, Hilary. Well, this is always It's such a pleasure like getting to spend time with you like I see you on my calendar and I'm like this is gonna be the best day. So I got wiling right away I'm like, Ooh, this is like a little bit of sunshine in the day. Yes. So on my podcast you can come over and hear Hillary on it the live by design podcast with Kate House House just like a house. And my website is Miss Kate house so just Ms. Kate house and then that's my instagram handle at Miss Kate house. And Hillary if it's okay with you, I'd love to gift my goals with soul summit private podcast feed to your listeners. So I'll do coupon code relaunch for everybody. It's a $97 value, but you'll get the whole private podcast feed. And if this idea of goals was sold resonates with you, I don't expect you to listen to every episode just like pull them up. Trust that you're gonna listen to the episode that you need, you know, click on the one that resonates with you. And, you know, set your own goals was sold this year. Or if you listen to this in the middle of the year, like there is no right or wrong time of the year to set a goal like you can start today. Kate

Hilary DeCesare:

that is so generous, we will make sure to put them in the show notes so that everyone can grab into that with your with your code so that they don't have to pay the 97. And they get that Thank you. Thank you. And then and everyone you know, lots lots to be unpacked here that we all have, that we can be thinking about in terms of going into wherever you're doing your goals, whether you're looking at them from the four step, aspirational, attainable, meaningful, seasonal, but she also gave us a lot of really great ways to be thinking about each one of those areas. And so I hope you go back, re listen to this, share this episode with somebody else that kind of needs it at this point. And write now I just want to leave you with you know, it's about live now. Love now, relaunch now into that best version of you. Take care of everyone and we will be back next week.

Hilary DeCesare:

You've just heard another episode of the ReLaunch podcast. If something shared in this episode resonated with you. Please head over to iTunes right now and leave us a five star review and share this episode with others to inspire them to take the small steps that lead to a life full of purpose and possibility. And remember, you can have immediate access to the show notes and any giveaways at therelaunchco.com/podcast until next week, now is your time to relaunch your transition into a transformation.

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