Artwork for podcast The Action Catalyst
REMASTERED: Battling for Work Life Balance, with Emmie Brown (Sales, Scheduling, Parenting, Consulting)
Episode 22724th January 2023 • The Action Catalyst • Southwestern Family of Companies
00:00:00 00:14:12

Share Episode

Shownotes

Southwestern Consulting Senior Partner and Southwestern Speakers President Emmie Brown covers the delicate balance of juggling an elite-level professional portfolio with a growing family life, the different ways that men and women prioritize, and how breaking down her daily schedule into 15 minute chunks actually helps her stay more present.

Mentioned in this episode:

This episode is brought to you by Southwestern Coaching.

Southwestern Coaching

Transcripts

Host:

The struggle for work and life balance, or a better way of saying it, the struggle for work and life success.

Host:

That is what we are talking about today.

Host:

And I have the senior partner at Southwestern Consulting, Emmy Brown.

Host:

She sold books for Southwestern Advantage, and she did that for nine summers.

Host:

She was full-time in the field selling for six years, and then she was a sales leader.

Host:

And one of the things about Emmy that always impressed me and has continued to be.

Host:

She is one of the rare people who has performed in both recruiting and leadership, and then also the highest level of selling.

Host:

Just a very, very rare and exceptional ability to both lead and get the best out of other people, but also to personally produce, and she's an expert on all types of different things related to sales and leadership.

Host:

So Emmy, welcome to the show.

Emmie Brown:

I'm glad to be here.

Host:

Thank you.

Host:

So there's a lot of moms out there who listen, who they're in sales or leadership or entrepreneurship or some type, but they're also a mom.

Host:

And then there's a lot of men out there who are husbands or, uh, you know, boyfriends too or fathers of, uh, a woman who has a similar thing.

Host:

And the first thing I just wanted to ask you is what do you think most women don't understand about the pressure?

Host:

That comes from being a working mom.

Host:

Can you just kind of describe what that struggle is?

Emmie Brown:

When I first found out that I was pregnant with our first child, I had a lot of fear.

Emmie Brown:

You know, I, I was working an extraordinary amount of hours and I was very dedicated with what I was doing.

Emmie Brown:

I had a team, I was selling.

Emmie Brown:

There were so many responsibilities that I loved at work that I was very fearful about how I was gonna keep all of that up.

Emmie Brown:

Being a.

Emmie Brown:

So I joined every mom's group that I could find, and frankly I couldn't find, uh, really any mom's groups out there while working mothers.

Emmie Brown:

All the moms groups I was able to find were for mostly stay at home mothers.

Emmie Brown:

And, uh, so I had so much fear about how I was gonna be able to make it all work, how I was gonna be able to manage, how I was gonna get it done, how I was gonna continue to produce at the same level, how I was gonna continue to leave and.

Emmie Brown:

I really felt a lot of fear and uh, in hindsight everything worked out a lot easier than I could have even imagined.

Emmie Brown:

It.

Emmie Brown:

It's kind of like you just put one foot in front of the other and you take that first step and then that next step and then that next step, and it really does just work out.

Emmie Brown:

I think so much of the fear that, that we.

Emmie Brown:

Is unwarranted and we just have to learn how to trust that it will all work out.

Emmie Brown:

But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Host:

So do you, do you feel that poll I have to like be at home, but also to be working?

Host:

I mean, how do you manage that or, or how do you coach yourself through that?

Host:

Or what's your, what is your mindset about managing that dynamic?

Emmie Brown:

Well, all of us do feel pressure, and it doesn't matter if you're a stay at home mom or you're a working mom or you work part-time, every single mother is gonna feel a lot of mom guilt.

Emmie Brown:

You know, we're gonna feel guilt for working and missing out on, you know, going to a lunch at our kids' school or being able to help with a fundraiser, or we feel guilt that we're not, you know, if a mother's not working or, or contributing or growing, like we feel a certain amount of guilt that way.

Emmie Brown:

So mom guilt is very, very, very real.

Emmie Brown:

One of the ways that I combat that is actually being very intentional with my time.

Emmie Brown:

I live and die by my, my schedule.

Emmie Brown:

So I plan my work time extremely intentionally, and you know, to wear every single 15 minutes of my.

Emmie Brown:

Is mapped out in terms of what I'm gonna accomplish personally and professionally.

Emmie Brown:

So, um, even my, um, personal time is very, very scheduled in terms of when we're gonna eat dinner and, uh, when the kids are gonna go to bed, and when I'm gonna spend time with my husband.

Emmie Brown:

So that enables me to actually be focused.

Emmie Brown:

On the task at hand.

Emmie Brown:

I don't wanna be at work and be thinking about, you know, all the things that I wish I could be doing or should be doing with my kids.

Emmie Brown:

And I don't wanna be at home thinking about what I didn't do or I should be doing at work.

Emmie Brown:

I wanna live in the moment and give it all that I have at work and then give it all that I have at.

Host:

When do you plan out the schedule?

Host:

Give me like a little bit about the, the functionality or the technicalities of how and when you plan your schedule into what detail?

Emmie Brown:

Well, I used to be able to sit down every Sunday night and religiously plan, you know, for an hour to two hours.

Emmie Brown:

Um, and that doesn't always work in, in the world of kids.

Emmie Brown:

Kids don't always nap exactly when you plan for them too.

Emmie Brown:

Now, with having two kid, it uh, has made it a lot more challenging.

Emmie Brown:

One of the things that I do believe is that you have to plan your week before your week actually starts.

Emmie Brown:

If not, you're starting the week out.

Emmie Brown:

Re.

Emmie Brown:

So, um, you know, I wanna plan each day before it starts.

Emmie Brown:

I wanna try to plan the next week before it starts.

Emmie Brown:

It.

Emmie Brown:

It doesn't always happen on Sunday night anymore, but I can take some time on Friday afternoon to think through schedule for the following week.

Emmie Brown:

And I can take some, I always take some time before I close out my current day to think through my following day.

Emmie Brown:

And yes, I do plan all the little stuff.

Emmie Brown:

If you were to actually look at my calendar, you know, I plan, um, you know, this is Mommy Dawson time and, uh, this.

Emmie Brown:

Is when I'm eating breakfast.

Emmie Brown:

Like it, it's, uh, it's, it's down to the mic.

Emmie Brown:

Do in a ridiculous way.

Emmie Brown:

You know, I have everything in there.

Emmie Brown:

So

Host:

I don't know how to convey really to people at what an ultra level of performance that you are achieving.

Host:

So do you feel like you have to make a choice at some point?

Host:

Like, it's either gonna be my family or it's gonna be my production?

Emmie Brown:

Well, you can have it all and at the same time you can't have it all.

Emmie Brown:

I'll explain a little bit about what it is that I.

Emmie Brown:

So I have over 30 team members that I lead and manage.

Emmie Brown:

I have 16 coaching clients that I coach one on one.

Emmie Brown:

Mm-hmm.

Emmie Brown:

. I also sell and deliver consulting.

Emmie Brown:

I speak and self speaking.

Emmie Brown:

I co you know, obviously I coach and I sell coaching, so I'm working across all the different divisions of our, our company.

Emmie Brown:

So I am pulled in a lot of different directions, you know, plus being a mom and, and a wife.

Emmie Brown:

You know, there's, there's a lot on my plate.

Emmie Brown:

And, uh, sometimes we can feel an incredible amount of pressure and guilt when we're not producing at the level that, that we want to.

Emmie Brown:

And sometimes that pressure causes us to freeze or to stop and.

Emmie Brown:

It can't be done.

Emmie Brown:

I, I'm not gonna be able to handle it.

Emmie Brown:

You know, I won't be able to fit that back in, and I just have to ignore that pressure and ignore that guilt.

Emmie Brown:

Guilt is a huge killer of progress, and I have to ignore that.

Emmie Brown:

And actually, I give myself the emotional permission to just do my best, just do the best that I.

Emmie Brown:

In any given moment with my, you know, God given abilities, you know, I wanna do the best that I can to serve the world at any given moment with the pressures that I have on my plate.

Emmie Brown:

And that's all that I can do.

Emmie Brown:

And um, and I have to remind myself of that daily.

Emmie Brown:

And when I relieve myself that pressure and I relieve myself of that guilt, that opens up the possibility to be able to handle more and more.

Emmie Brown:

And.

Host:

For the men that are out there listening, maybe there's a male who is the boss of the supervisor of a woman who just had kids and is, you know, she's in a role where she is being asked to, you know, perform and work.

Host:

Or in the role of more of a spouse or you know, a partner where, uh, you, they're either the men listening who's the husband or the boyfriend to somebody who is a mom or whatever.

Host:

What's the advice that you would give to men?

Host:

What are some of the ways that you think that men could actually support their ladies, particularly if they're working mom and they're having to have a foot in both world?

Emmie Brown:

That you asked that question because it is very different for men than women.

Emmie Brown:

We have a very young company, young, in terms of time that our company has been around and also young in terms of, of age, of the, I mean, we were building this, um, when many of us were in our late twenties, so I was the first person who was a female.

Emmie Brown:

To have a young kid, to have a baby in our company.

Emmie Brown:

And so I, I really didn't know if it was gonna gonna work because it's very different for a man than a woman.

Emmie Brown:

There's just different freshers and different responsibilities.

Emmie Brown:

Um, it's definitely, you know, a physical challenge for, for a woman.

Emmie Brown:

And then women get their fulfillment from different avenues.

Emmie Brown:

Oftentimes, uh, a man gets his fulfillment and his sense of purpose and confidence from his production or from his co, you know, financial contribution or who he is in business.

Emmie Brown:

And a woman is a lot more likely to get a lot more of their fulfillment, not always a lot more of their fulfillment from their family.

Emmie Brown:

I relish in the family, um, a lot more than, than my husband does, and I have to understand that we are different and my husband.

Emmie Brown:

And all husbands or significant others need to understand that men and women just think differently.

Emmie Brown:

Women are gonna put more pressure on themselves to spend more time with their children.

Emmie Brown:

They're gonna put more pressure on themselves to, you know, be there for certain events.

Emmie Brown:

Those events are gonna seem more important.

Emmie Brown:

They're gonna feel guilty when they're not and and men just need to recognize that and be okay with it.

Emmie Brown:

And every woman is different.

Emmie Brown:

For me, I know that I am better being a working mother than a stay at home mom if I was home.

Emmie Brown:

When I am home with my kid all day long, I get irritated.

Emmie Brown:

I get just aggravated by by little.

Emmie Brown:

And I know when I'm, when I'm working during the day, I feel good about that.

Emmie Brown:

And then when I come home, I can be very, very focused on my kids and give them my undivided attention and, and just be completely present and joyful and in the moment.

Emmie Brown:

But I need more of that time.

Emmie Brown:

I need more of that intentionally focused time than my husband does.

Emmie Brown:

And I think men, um, a boss or significant others, but men need to recognize.

Emmie Brown:

To women, it's very important to have more time than they might want, and uh, it's also important for them to you take their child to that doctor's appointment or go to that school event, and that's okay.

Emmie Brown:

The priority is men and women are just different.

Host:

Yeah, I think that's good for everybody's sanity to just remember.

Host:

So the last little question I have for you Em, is if there is somebody out there, listen, right now, let's say specifically it is, it is a working mom and maybe it's a, a new working mom and she is feeling that kind of pressure.

Host:

What advice would you give to her just as she's thinking through and sort of preparing for what's ahead in, in terms of the, the various challenges of being a, a high performer at work while also being an amazing mom?

Emmie Brown:

Well, the first piece of advice I would give her is to say that it will work out.

Emmie Brown:

The second piece of advice I would give is to say you can't do it on your own.

Emmie Brown:

In the past, I have been somebody who has, uh, tried to do everything on my own.

Emmie Brown:

I have a tendency to not ask for help or sometimes not accept help.

Emmie Brown:

When people give it to me, but I couldn't do it, uh, without a team.

Emmie Brown:

We have a full-time nanny.

Emmie Brown:

We have a full-time executive assistant.

Emmie Brown:

Grandma is incredibly helpful, so be willing to, uh, both seek out and accept the help that you need.

Emmie Brown:

Because if you have the help that you need, you're gonna be more likely to flourish than if you try to do it all on your own.

Emmie Brown:

Be carry the weight of the world on your two shoulders.

Host:

Hmm.

Host:

Emmy, we just, we appreciate you and on behalf of our team, we wish you all the best.