In this dynamic episode, we're diving deep into redefining goals and believing in ourselves while raising a family. We'll start by exploring the incredible power of dreaming and the importance of self-belief. Amidst the daily chaos of motherhood, I'll show you how nurturing your dreams can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. But we won't just be dreaming - we'll also tackle the balance between realism and imagination in goal-setting, emphasizing the need to create new possibilities while staying grounded.

We'll turn those dreams into reality through effective planning and actionable steps. I'll share the secret of asking good questions to find the right answers and guide you toward success. I'll inspire you to pursue your dreams relentlessly, no matter the doubts or obstacles. Join me!

What you'll hear in this episode:

[0:00] Balancing mom life and personal goals.

[1:25] The importance of dreaming and believing in oneself.

[4:50] Setting realistic goals and creating alternate realities.

[6:10] Turning dreams into reality through planning and action.

[10:30] Achieving dreams and redefining realism.

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Kelsey Smith 0:00

Sometimes when we create things in our life, we don't even think of it as a success because it was just a box that we checked. But the fact of the matter is, it's a reality that you created for yourself. And in order to do that, you had to believe in yourself, you had to take belief from whatever was present to you or wasn't, and allow yourself to create a new possibility. And we as adults, in humans and children, we owe it to ourselves to try to allow ourselves to create these new definitions. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys, wife, an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

Kelsey Smith 1:29

One of the questions that I get the most is around the level of a goal. Is it big enough? Or is it realistic? Yeah. And this is such a difficult question for both the mentor and the mentee. Because there really is no right answer. There are certain things that we can measure previous success around or using metrics or industry averages, things like that to benchmark where we're at. But so much of what has been created in the world was created from imagination. And when it comes to measuring and benchmarking and knowing, are we being realistic, or should we dream more. It's such a difficult kind of balance. And I think of this quote, it's from Mike Tomlin and it says, You must continue to dream, the wild dream that you dreamed when you were young. And I think what really stands this out for me is the concept of losing that ability to dream as we get older, that we can have these wild dreams as children, and when we are young, and then we get jaded, or reality comes into play. And we maybe lose the ability to imagine what is possible. And allowing ourselves to believe what is possible, is what dreaming is it's allowing this redefinition of possibility. And when you think about anything that's ever been created, that once wasn't here, let's think electricity, cars, airplanes, literally anything like that was an imaginative item that then was brought to life with some disbelief of reality, and allowing yourself to believe in a new version of possible. And everything that you've even created in your own life that you've already had success with in your life. And it may not. Sometimes when we create things in our life, we don't even think of it as a success, because it was just a box that we checked. But the fact of the matter is, it's a reality that you created for yourself. And in order to do that, you had to believe in yourself, you had to take belief from whatever was present to you or wasn't and allow yourself to create a new possibility. And we as adults, in humans and children, we owe it to ourselves to dream to believe, to allow ourselves to create these new definitions. And my kids love the movie Trolls, especially my oldest. And when I think of dreaming, I think of happiness. And I think of the movie when Princess Poppy is teaching the Bergens to be happy. She's teaching them that happiness is from inside of you that sometimes you maybe need someone to help you find it. But it's not something that you consume, and then create, it's already in you and you just have to bring it out. And dreaming is what helps you create and find that belief, the unlocking of what could be possible, just like the ability to believe you could be happy and follow steps to create that happiness like they do in trolls. They're unlocking that within themselves. Same with this streaming and this ability of possibility. But there is this measure of is this to big Am I being realistic? And I hear this a lot is, is my head in the clouds? Am I just streaming? Can I create this for myself? Can I create this for my family, for my business, for my career, for our home? Is it even realistic to want this type of schedule in my house or any of those things, and as a whole, we have the ability to think up, whatever we're dreaming, then we have the ability to create it. So if you can imagine an alternate reality, in almost every case, I'll give you the caveat of almost, then you have the ability to create it. And there is this thought of being realistic. If you've ever heard of the term smart goals, the R is for reasonable or realistic. And I don't actually like using the term realistic, because I think it's subjective. There's literally no one that can tell you if a dream is impossible for you, because they're not you. No one has ever been you. So I prefer to think of it is can I set myself up for success to make this dream a reality? So are you able to obtain the right tools and resources to create that reality? Because that reality may not exist for anyone else yet, that reality may not feel realistic to many of the people you're connected with. But it doesn't mean that it's not. So it's allowing yourself to redefine the possibility for yourself, just like all these other people then meant that all these things did, they created not reality. But they had to find the tools and the resources and the support to create that success. Because someone else could have tried to create electricity, airplanes, cars, clothing, whatever it is. And they could have failed if they didn't have the right tools for success. And many probably did. So when you are asking yourself, Is this realistic? Is my dream realistic? Or am I just living in a dreamland? You have to ask yourself, what would I need to create this reality? Because yes, if you just sit in the dream, and you say this would be so great, and I want to create this, then it probably won't become real, because you're not putting in the work, you don't have the tools and the resources to create that reality. But if you go out and you say, okay, in order to create this reality, here's what I would have to do, here's what I would have to need, here's what I would have to obtain, then you would then find those things, they would give you what you need to create success. And then it doesn't feel like it's unrealistic. Because you've created a plan. You've received the support that you need, whether it's actual items or people, community, things like that. And now you have a plan for success. Now, it's not just a dream. Now you're pulling that possibility paired with a plan to be able to create that success. So I think that the better question when people ask me, Is this goal too big? Or Is this realistic? is saying, Have you mapped out how that could be realistic. And then it's doing the work and saying, okay, if I'm trying to obtain this goal, here are the steps I need to take. Now if those steps feel impossible, that's when you start to take a step back and say, Okay, maybe this is a different version of reality, maybe this is something I need to look at, if you can't solve the problem, no matter where you look. And you can't find the step. And you can't get the tool or the resource, which is very rare, to be honest, almost all things are solvable. Or you can support it, they're supported, then you can create that reality. So I want you to think about a goal or a dream that you have that feels far fetched. Maybe it's a certain number of dollars in your bank account, maybe it's buying something for your family, maybe it's launching a business hitting a milestone for yourself personally or professionally. And when you look at that goal, you're like, gosh, that would be so great. But I don't even know how we would get there. That's when you can take a step back and say, Okay, what are the steps that I would have to take? What are the things that I would have to do to create that reality? And if you don't know that's when you ask someone, go try to find someone who's done a portion of what you would like to do and say, Hey, I know that you did XYZ. Can you tell me about some of the ways that you got there? Or I was wondering if I were to take the first step? What would you recommend? Would you recommend this or this? The best questions get the best answers. Yeah, and learning how to ask good questions is a great skill set something that I'm constantly working on. Because when you get into rooms with people that can help you, the best way they can help you is if you can ask the right question. And knowing how to do this for yourself is just as important. Because if you can ask yourself the right questions, you can help guide yourself to the right answers, which can guide you to that solution for something that maybe doesn't feel realistic.

There is truly almost nothing that's impossible. Everyone has proven this wrong. If you look back in history, so many people have created something that would not have been possible on paper, the conscious brain would have said, There's no way that could happen. But it happened, they did it. So I have a feeling whatever it is that you're dreaming of whatever you're thinking of creating is also possible. And there's no reason that you can't create that for yourself. Now that may be paired with hard work, or trade offs, or decisions that you make theirs doesn't mean that it's not going to come with something else or an exchange of. But if there's something that you want to create, chances are you can create it, chances are you can find someone to support you. Chances are you can get out of debt, you can create that money you want to you can live that dream that you want, you can get that job that you want. Now, if you're 80 years old, and all of a sudden you want to be a doctor, there are certain things that might impact that right. But realistically, whatever you're thinking of, there's probably a deeper knowing of what it is that you want to create. And it's digging deeper to find that why and that reasoning, let's say you are 80 years old, and you all of a sudden want to be a doctor, and you'd have to go back to school and do your residency and all these things. Maybe it's not being the doctor that you really want to do. Maybe it's completing the schooling, maybe it's helping people in a certain way. Maybe it's learning more about that. So it's getting really clear on like, why is this my dream? How can I create success for me with this stream? Where I would be proud or excited and lit up? And what are the steps that I need to take to be able to do that? So whenever people ask me, is my dream too big? Is my goal too ambitious? Is this realistic? Unfortunately, only you can answer that for yourself. But take a moment and say, Okay, here's what I really want and why. And here are a couple of ways that I think I could get there. Once you have a couple steps, you can answer that question for yourself pretty quickly. Could I achieve this? And do I want to with what it might take. Because I can tell you there are certain things that you may look at one day and say, You know what, I actually don't want to do that because of XYZ. And that's totally fair. And that's okay. But if you ever catch yourself telling yourself that you can't do something, for some reason that you feel is out of your control, then I really want to challenge you to rethink that. I really want you to re challenge yourself, to allow yourself to dream and redefine what realistic means. Because the chances are if you allow yourself to dream and you allow yourself to redefine the realism, and that possibility, you can find the solutions to create that for yourself. I am sending you so much love mama, get to dreaming. Send me a message and let me know what it is that you are going to challenge yourself to create reality around sending you so much love. There's so much more where this came from. Take the next step and download the mama high schools app or visit our web platform. real authentic, full supportive community is available your fingertips and we can't wait to create space for you, Mama