Burnout doesn’t have to be the end of your journey; it can actually be the launchpad to a new, more empowered life! In this episode, Crystal Samuels, shares her firsthand experience of navigating the choppy waters of burnout and emerging stronger on the other side. Crystal dives deep into the importance of recognizing the signs of burnout and how it can lead to a transformative awakening. She discusses practical steps, such as the power of rest, the necessity of grieving your past self, and the beauty of setting boundaries. All of which can help you realign with your inner truth and joy. This episode is all about reclaiming your life after burnout., and trust me, it’s packed with wisdom and laughter that’ll uplift your spirit and inspire you to thrive!

Takeaways:

• Burnout isn't just about being tired; it's a wake-up call to reevaluate your life and priorities.
• Rest is not a luxury; it's a necessity for recovery and self-discovery. Embrace it wholeheartedly!
• Transforming burnout into empowerment requires grief, self-reflection, and a supportive community around you.
• Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining your mental health and ensuring that you show up as your best self.
• True empowerment comes when you prioritize yourself first; everyone else benefits from your well-being.
• Your journey through burnout can lead to profound personal transformation, unlocking new paths and purpose.

If this episode resonates with you, then remember... SUBSCRIBE • 5-Star Rate • COMMENT • SHARE this Podcast!! 💚❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾

Book Recommendation: "Pause, Rest, Be" by Octavia Raheem

Follow Crystal:

Website: https://www.daretoflowwithme.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/daretoflowwithme/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/crystal-samuels-mba-pmp-csm-8b63252/

Follow us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson

Great day. Amazing human.

Yes.

Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways. Empowered humans empower humans. So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for empowerment today. My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.

I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.

We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I'll be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone. So if you're ready, let the show begin. Great day. Amazing humans. Amazing humans around the world.

I am so excited for this, our last episode of the Empowered in my skin season seven. And so this makes it episode 368. And I am joined. There's no better way than to close the season with actually a very. A special friend.

A special friend who I have experienced some really life transformative experience, had life transformative experiences with. I think that's phenomenal. And so this she is someone who knows what it means to pour yourself into something until there's nothing left.

She's walked through burnout not as theory not, but as a lived reality. And in that breaking, she found her blessing. A new purpose, a new path, a new way of being.

And today, she really helps women release the weight of overextension, reconnect with their inner truth, and rediscover the joy that was never lost, only waiting. So please join me in a massive, like, do it like you haven't done it at all this year podcast. Welcome for the amazing Crystal Samuel.

Oh my goodness, what an introduction.

It is your introduction and you're just hearing it and you're receiving it in the most wonderful way. And I love it. So. So, my love, what has been the most empowering day empowering thought that you've had of the day? So far?

The most empowering thought I've had of the day is how abundantly blessed I am to have problems to solve.

That's cool.

And that comes at a time where I could look at a particular scenario as. Just say resources leaving me.

But I look at it as what a blessing to have this problem that resources may leave me because of abundance that I do have.

Yeah. Meaning if I could, does that mean in the sense that you believe that because the universe knows that you have.

Because you have this level of the sense of abundance. Yeah, things can leave. It gives space for things to leave and. Yeah, to leave and come.

To leave. And come.

Yeah.

And I just choose to come into from a place of abundance. And yes, it's a problem to solve, but it's a good problem because nothing, as you said, it may leave me, but it comes right back in different.

Even more blessings.

I love that. I know in practice, that is much more harder because every time something. That's what. That's what I've heard. I don't know if it's Kyle Cease.

That says it, but the hardest thing that people find to embrace, embracing change is focusing on what they stand to lose versus what they stand to gain.

Exactly. Yeah. That's. That's the premise of my thoughts today.

I love that. So thank you. Thank you.

And so with those thoughts, let's talk about your openness of how you've talked about how you share your life experience around burnout.

And so can you talk to us about what that season, or maybe it's multiple seasons, have felt like, and the moment you realize it was no longer just exhaustion. Exhaustion, but really just a call. Because I think the key for you was that you didn't just sit in it. It was. It was. It was a calling to change.

Yeah, exactly.

So to be wholeheartedly honest, the moment that I realized that this was beyond exhaustion, beyond the sleep, beyond just needing a couple days of rest is when I started to feel physical pain. And I also started to think what would happen if I were not to take care of myself and no one would be left to take care of my daughter.

Like, that's the thought. That's how intense it was. And that was the turning point.

I wish I could say that it was something that came from within and I just knew, but it was my external factor of potentially not being able to take care of my daughter in a way that, like, to. Yeah, that was. Was me pacing my living room one night and saying that this does not feel normal.

I did end up going back and going right back into the work, but the next morning, I was in the doctor's office.

Yeah. And so what would take us through. So what. What was. What were the following steps after that?

Yeah. So I'll just give you a little bit of backstory.

Backstory is always important. I should have started there.

Yeah. So little backstory is that had my daughter in the pandemic. Great. While I know the pandemic was a.

Not a great experience for a lot of people, heartache, pain, loss. For me, it was a time that I was able to bond with having my child in a way that I Wouldn't have expected because nothing was expected at that time.

But. Because I had this innate. I don't know if it's innate or if it was more learned. I think it was more learned behavior of okay, what next?

I literally was using the time that I would be supposed to be taking care of a child and having a second job of finding a job. So I said I want to level up. I want to get a promotion. I want to go into another environment. And so I was doing the whole networking while on leave.

And so when I went back to work, it happened. I got the new job. But what was interesting at the core and catchy. Even though I got the promotion, I did question.

I don't think I should be doing this. I did that. That did come across my mind.

And.

It sat with me for a bit. But why would I. Why would I not take the promotion? Right. But so forth I went. I took the promotion. Gun ho.

I actually was working the same level that I was working prior to having a child. So up late at night, I was waking up early in the morning. I was working in the day and just trying to really prove myself in the organization.

And after a while that catches up with you. It absolutely catches up.

When.

Especially when you're coming from a place of proving.

Yeah.

And not being. Or doing. Not being. Such misalignment and other factors like a child is always sick once they get to daycare. That means you're always sick.

Lack of sleep. A parent solo. I was in a new work environment. The work environment could have done with. A little. A lot more improvement.

Okay.

There a lot more improvement that could happen in that work environment. So there was a perfect storm that was brewing. And with all of these factors coming in, especially the lack of rest and exhaustion and misalignment.

Done.

It was. I was done. I was exhausted. There's levels of burnout. And I think I was at next to the top one. I was definitely isolating myself.

So folks, listen to these things that I'm talking about. Versus started with trying to prove myself. Then I was blaming others for why things weren't working out.

And then I was starting to isolate myself and not show up on family scenarios or family just say functions, I'm too busy, so forth. And then I started to experience depression. All of these things were signs that I was going in the wrong direction due to misalignment.

So that's when I had to just stop. And the doctor said you need six weeks off. And that six weeks turned into four months. Four months.

So My friends, was it hard to tell your job, you need to take time, time off given that you just took this promotion.

There's so much shame. Thank you for that question because that's what I also want to share with folks. How I felt so much shame during that time.

How I was like, what am I going to tell them? What are they going to. And then I was thinking, what is my family going to think? I actually didn't tell anyone in my family.

I remember four weeks, no, like. On the onset. But I don't think I've physically told my dad to this day.

I think he understood what was going on because I would call him and he's like, why are you calling me?

Don't you have to work?

But you know, there was a lot of shame. This shouldn't be happen to me. I have my life together. Everyone comes to me. I fix things. And I needed fixing myself.

I needed to come back into alignment. And I had two friends that really helped me through it.

One person that actually went through it herself and she, it shouldn't be normalized, but she did bring to reality how much women between age 35 and 45 ish that, that sort of mid career experience this. And she goes, there's a lot of stats that say this Crystal. A lot of women experience it during this time. I've experienced it.

So I don't want you to think that you shouldn't give yourself opportunity to recover and heal.

Like really extending the, the opportunity for you to experience grace.

Yes.

So is it, is it this?

Is it the, the support system that you had there that enabled you to see that, okay, the situation you were going through, this burnout was not sort of the end, but the spark of a new beginning or was there something else that sort of led to that mindset shift?

So I would say there is something else that led to that mindset shift. So my support system of friends, I had a great doctor, that I had great therapists. But what I, I feel it was for me is when I stopped to rest.

And then I found community that allowed me to reimagine myself totally different.

Yeah, that's a rewiring.

Yeah, it's a serious rewiring. So. I would say that my empowerment came when I stopped outsourcing my worth and started to begin trusting myself again.

And that is a serious rewiring when we think about how we have been conditioned, how we've been conditioned. And so there was a lot that came from the community. And so first thing I needed to.

Rest.

And the Community helped me to remap, reimagine myself again very differently, very different.

And so what does living on purpose look like now for you?

So. I always look at this scenario or this situation that occurred, this four month scenario that I was out of the work, but it's.

It's continued way past the four months because I did go back. I have gone back to work and is living on purpose means being alignment with what you really want to do and what lights you up.

And so I as I reimagined my life, so let me go back. I had to grieve. Myself because I was never heard that professional. All the degrees. I got the job, I got this. I'm a corporate professional.

Title X, Y, Z of And I had to really grieve showing up in the world in that way because I know the world. World Life's when you show up and tell people your title.

Yes. Right. Yes. Yes.

I said I had to really realize that that is not me. So that was the first thing I had to do.

Rest, grieve who I was and then reimagine who I wanted to be and ask myself real questions like, what would you prefer? Yeah, there's no limitations. Don't think about limitations. What would you prefer? How do you want to show up? What truly lights you up? Crystal.

And I remember one day sitting in a park and answering these questions. And as I was answering these questions in my journal, I was actually crying because that was a part of my grieving process.

Because I'm like, this is so different and how am I going to get there? It's always the how am I going to get there?

That I was none of your business.

Exactly.

Right.

I have to know.

It's not linear. It's not. It's not. It's not written out. There's no book, there's no rules. It's actually none of your business.

Yeah, exactly. And so the reimagination, it. It lit me up. Sorry. It really lit me up. And I'm like, wow, this is beautiful. But then it scared me at the same time.

Right. I realized that I needed to get back to my meditation practice. Meditation is what lights me up. It's what makes me feel safe again.

It's what grounds me. It's what brings clarity of thought.

Because during this time, I was no loss of confidence when I was in the workplace, my clarity of thought was foggy. I was not trusting myself again. And I realized when I'm in practice and. And meditation looks different for other people, for everyone.

I should Say, when I was in practice, I was so clear about how I wanted to show up and what was the next little small action I wanted to take. And so I realized I needed to go back to that starting point of my practice.

I think what I heard there is, is there's, there's a home base there. If we're really honest with ourselves and if we can get still with ourselves, and I experienced it last year.

There's a home base where when you are on home base. You. You actually feel grounded and connected.

And so if life does feel harried and uncertain and shaky, and I think that's the point where you have to ask yourself, like, I, I've stepped off base and what are. And then you also have to know what are all the things that need to be true and happening?

And typically it's going to be routines, it's going to be people, it's going to be environments, it's going to be activities. It's going to, you know, that, that are, that are in the blueprint of your days, that keep you on home base. And so it's, it's, it's, it's, it's work.

It's work to figure that out because you have to know what that cocktail is for you. Because not everyone's home base is the same.

Yeah, that is such a great analogy of how you put it that way. Yeah. Everybody's home base is not the same. What, what energ you may not be, what energizes what depletes me might not deplete you.

All of these things that you have to be quite aware, and you don't become aware of these things until you give yourself permission to rest.

Yeah. To slow down.

Yeah, slow down. And it's a radical, it's a radical act of self love to just slow down and rest.

And what I find in that rest, and you could probably agree with this too, is Stillness Speaks. I think that's a book, probably, isn't it? Stillness? Yeah. Is it a book? I don't know. I'm, I'm assuming.

I'm assuming somebody's written the book Stillness Speaks. I'll have to look it up, but it does speak.

Yeah.

And I think.

Sorry.

No, go, go.

I wanted to say, what I wanted to add is it speaks pretty loudly when you just quiet everything else. It speaks to you very clearly and it can be heard. You just have to make space for.

It and give it time.

Yeah.

Because I don't think it's suddenly like you just kind of go still and it's like. Yeah, I think it needs to know that you're, you're in the stillness and you are, you're okay with staying in stillness. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry. The last thing you have to get used to what that voice sounds like too. Another thing, so, so with all the.

Work that you're doing, you know, many high achieving women push through sort of what you are expressing and never really. Maybe they don't hit the point that you do or they even hit the point they somehow keep going. So what do you say to them?

I know you were earlier on sort of sharing, these are the signs, like know these things. So I know these things. Then what does Crystal say?

Okay, so. And thanks for that question because I've been there previously in my past, but I pushed through exactly what you just said.

But what you need to tell yourself at that point when you're experiencing this and you're, you're, you may make the decision to push through is to know that you are so much more important than what you're pushing through. 4 and that the repercussions long term can.

You may not be able to see it, but it is those small incremental push throughs that lead to bigger problems later. Right. And so I really encourage anyone, do not. The other day I was like, I need a wellness day.

Do not be afraid for folks that are in the position to have days that you can be away from your workplace to take those wellness days. I would say another thing. Get yourself around some friends. Oh my goodness.

I cannot emphasize how much I'm going to talk about women because I am a woman. Okay. I cannot express how much being around a good group of women can really.

Turn your day around, week around, turn your year around because you have the right people in your corner supporting and cheering for you. Right. So don't, don't do this by yourself. Pick up that phone and tell someone that what you're experiencing and they will.

If you don't want to be the truth for you, if you have some good friends, they'll be your mirror and let you know what's going on.

So you've, you've established a framework that helps women get through sort of burnout. Right. To empowerment.

Yes.

Can you walk us through just high level about the framework and what it looks like?

Yeah, absolutely. So what I also wanted to share is that I am a part of a book.

Okay.

And co authored with 19 other amazing women that talk about their story.

So collaboration. Okay, nice.

Yes, it's a collaboration and the book is called Your life on fire. And I have a chapter within that book called the Blessing in the Burnout.

And I was very intentional of calling my chapter Blessing and the Burnout because I wanted to demonstrate to folks and reframe how my burnout was. The opening. The opening to my transformation. It was painful. It was hard to get through.

But on the other end, other side of it, it was reclaiming my life. It was empowering. It was me lighting up and showing up in rooms that I in ways that I hadn't before.

Because I had the opportunity to use that scenario and find myself again.

But in finding myself again, my framework that when I reflect on what I actually went through, how I went from depletion to alignment again is I started with rest. I've said this multiple times in our since we've started. Do not under underestimate the power of rest.

Resting your not only your body but really your mind and feeding it what it good stuff. Right. So rest. The second thing is the grieving. Grieving of how showed up at this world and knowing that that titles is not what defines you titles.

And then the third stage was I started to speak about it. Reimagining the world as want it to be for yourself. I am a daughter, I'm aunt, I'm a friend, I'm a mother.

I am a corporate professional and I'm also the founder of Dare to Flow with me. Meditation and wellness. All these things make me up. Not director of. Not. All of these things make who I am.

And knowing that your workplace is great but it's probably about 5% of who you are if that much.

Yeah.

I just want folks to know you really need to imagine yourself. Holistically.

Yeah.

When you reimagine yourself and once you understand where you want to go and how you want to show up, you got to set your boundaries.

Yes.

That's the fourth step. Setting boundaries. So that people. What is the beautiful way of interacting with me now that we can build a trusting and great relationship?

I think boundaries is like such a hard thing for people. I'm speaking from experience.

Yep.

Like have to keep reminding myself it is okay to teach people, especially those that are closest to you how to interact with you. Right. In a way that I think that I think if you even have to turn it that they will get the best from you. Oh right. So it's to their benefit.

You know not. Not that you're putting these rules and obligations and non negotiables in place but.

But like you will get the best from me if you Just honor me in these ways, you know?

Yeah, that is so.

And often people look at it as ways to keep people out, but it's really ways of how to bring people in and build the relationship that works for everyone. Yourself. Right. And so that was the fourth phase, building those boundaries. Communicating that's hard because it.

Building those boundaries, you're building back the trust in yourself that most of the time you lose when you go through scenarios like burnout.

Right, right. And I love that you, I love that your framework starts with rest. One of the other things that I have learned, because.

You know, there is the whole sort of mindset that you go, go, go, go, go, go, and then, you know, hopefully you stop before you get to that point where you've gone too far. But I read in a Bible app like this came from Pastor Rick Warren, actually. Work. So work from a place of rest versus rest from work.

And so what that means is that, and so I've gone to the step of like, even in between meetings, I'm trying to make sure that I start my next meeting from a place of rest. So that could mean I just take a 10 minute walk around, you know, go and have a sip of, you know, some green tea.

Yeah.

Get out of nature, really open up my front door, step out of nature, Feel the, you know, in the sun, feel the vitamin D in my skin. Go and have a laugh with somebody. Something that makes you, makes your spirit, your soul, everything.

Like in the next, when you sit back to work, you're operating from this place of I just edified myself, that's rest. You know, when you feel edified, when you feel fed, when you feel nourished, when you feel, you know, fluid and.

Yeah, when you feel replenished.

Replenished.

Yeah, exactly. That's a strategy.

Yeah.

Because when they hear rest, when, and I just invite that because when people hear rest, they, they hear like taking time off, going on vacation, like, you know, maybe going for a massage or having to go to a yoga class or this. And I'm like, no, like you have to find these pockets of rest that you can incorporate throughout your day. A day is 24 hours, right.

Like, you're not meant to go at, you know, hard every minute, but you can go like, think about sprints, right? Like you can go hard in sprints and then, you know, there's a, there's, you gotta rest and then you go hard again in sprints. Right?

So it's, it's, it's finding what, what, what, what gives you like, I like that what makes you feel replenished? And I know laughter is a big one for me. I, I huge one. If you come into my office, like, like scents huge for me. So I carry like sage thins.

I use them on the plane and then just that I, I always have my aromatherapy, I have my salt lamp on. I love vision boarding, journaling. Like all of those things are wellness tactics for me.

Yeah, it's, it's the intentional pause, whatever that intentional pause is going to be to replenish you. And when you're intentional about it, it does sink in a very different way.

Yeah.

Instead of running to see which, how many emails you can get done between the next meeting. The intentional pause.

Yes. That's a good one too. We often do that. Right.

So if, if a woman is listening right now on the edge of burnout, what's one empowering truth or practice you want her to hold on?

Empowering truth is that this is a lifelong journey and that as you. Commit to always putting yourself first, you are actually going to elevate your life. When you come and I talk very strongly about women.

When women commit to putting themselves first, your life.

Everyone benefits too, by the way.

Yeah. Your life elevates and the overflow happens for everyone around you.

Oh, that's the one thing that I wanted to, that I would share and that's related to actually the last step of how to elevate and sustain yourself. And so doing intentional commitment, making it, or I would say making an intentional commitment that I will put myself first.

Is going to impact everyone around you in a positive way. You know our favorite friend, Bozma St. John's she is unapologetic about putting herself first.

And there has been, I know we see her world from the outside. I don't know her personally. You see how she has elevated. So. That'S what I would leave women with.

Yeah, I love it. I'm going to take you through some rapid thrivers now.

Yes.

When you think of someone who empowers you, who comes first to mind?

Interestingly, Oprah. I grew up on Oprah. Every day, 4:00, I was home to watch Oprah. And she was such a great person of color that I thrive to be like.

And she always brought the right topics and I just.

Yeah, she's intentional. Yeah. Still to this day. I think I know what this one is. But a daily activity helps you through thrive.

My intentional pause every morning in my meditation practice as well as my prayer. My prayer life is strong.

Does your daughter meditate?

Oh, yes, she Does. Absolutely does.

And oftentimes when I'm doing sound baths, because that's a part of my offering, she will sit there and she will be my audience as I get connected with the instruments and she wants to play them and I'm like, okay, you have certain ones you can play. But she is very much connected into meditating.

Wow. And do you see any effects on her temperament and as a result of being having this exposure in her life?

I must admit, when mommy does get a little hot tempered, she will stop and she would go like this and get quiet. And it's such a signal for me.

Yeah. Because I was gonna say it's probably more for you than her. Yes.

It's such a signal. Like, girl, you're doing a good job, but you need to.

Yes, it's working. It's a good talk back. Yeah, it is.

Clap.

Clap back. Yeah. What is a book that's helped you with your thrive?

Oh, oh. Pause, Rest, Be by Octavia Raheem.

That's a new one.

Yeah, she's. That's her first book. The pause recipe or re. Or. Yeah, yeah. Then of the radical. Importance of knowing that rest is your birthright.

Yeah. And what is an app that helps you with your thrive?

Insight Timer.

Yeah. It's so funny. The last guest, Cheryl Sutherland, said the exact same thing. I asked her. Free ver. Yeah. Insight Timer as a free version or paid version?

I do the free version.

That's what she said. And what's one misconception that people have of you, Crystal? Is they see you in your thrive.

Oh, wow. That I have it all figured out. I don't. Every day is a new day that I'm learning and that I am figuring it out with all of you.

Yeah. I love that.

Yeah.

So where do we find more of you online?

Oh, yeah. So as I started to share, I have co authored a book called your life on fire. You can find. Actually the best place to get me is Instagram.

Dare go with me. Dare to float D A R E to flow with me. And that's where I let you know when the I'm bringing everyone along on the journey book launch.

The COVID launch, the.

The one pre sales are of the book because it is my intention to get this book in the hands of as many people as possible and just understand that it's not only my story, there's 19 other stories in there. It's gonna. If not with resonate my story, there will be a story that resonates with you.

And it's a beautiful gifting for for people in your life, for women.

I love that. And this airs on Christmas Day, so hopefully, hopefully it's in somebody's stocking already.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So Instagram is the best place. And also my website is the same as my grand handle, deartoflowithme.com well, we're.

Going to share all the links in the show notes. And so as a parting question or statement, I'm going to say finish this sentence for us. I am empowered in my skin when.

I make decisions from a place of clarity and rest.

Yeah. I love that. I love you. I thank you. I thank you for being in my vortex of very special and powerful, you know, humans to be connected to.

And really, really honestly, I said it at the beginning. I'm really, really blessed to have experienced some of some transformative things with you in this world and. And, and grow with you, actually. Yeah.

Yeah. I really appreciate you having me on your platform. Beautiful platform.

And it, it just really connects with so many things within my heart and so aligned to be here with you today. Thank you for allowing me in your space.

I love it. I love it. Thank you for bringing this seventh season to a beautiful and restful close. I love it. And to everyone that's list name, hit rewind.

Share the episode. Listen again. But for now, this is where I have to say we're out. Bye bye. There you have it. I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.

As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give, when you learn, you teach. So it would mean so much for us at Empower to My Skin Inc.

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