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ADHD & Girls: the rocky road from childhood to puberty
Episode 106th March 2024 • ADHD Powerful Possibilities: New and Late Diagnosis & Beyond • ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
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ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders ADHD Coach Katherine

ADHD Powerful Possibilities podcast this week looks at the unique experiences of girls navigating ADHD through childhood and the complexities of puberty. With expert insights and the latest research, we uncover why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed, how symptoms can shift and intensify during puberty, and the critical strategies for parents and educators to offer meaningful support TODAY.

In This Episode, discover -

1. The Often-Missed Signs of ADHD in Girls: Understanding how ADHD presents differently in girls compared to boys, and why these signs are often overlooked.

2. The Impact of Puberty on ADHD: Exploring how hormonal changes can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and the challenges that arise during this transformative period.

3. Strategies for Support: Practical advice for creating a supportive environment that fosters self-confidence, empathy, and understanding for girls with ADHD.

4. Navigating Social Challenges: Insights into the social landscape for girls with ADHD, including friendship dynamics, bullying, and the influence of social media.

5. Empowering Girls with ADHD: How to empower girls with ADHD to recognize their strengths, develop resilience, and advocate for themselves.

💡Connect with me:

- Visit the website for additional resources and support: www.lightbulbadhd.com

- Follow us on Instagram: @adhd_coach_katherine

📣

If you found value in today's episode, please subscribe to our podcast, leave us a review, and share it with someone who could benefit from our discussion. Your support helps us reach and empower more individuals navigating the complexities of ADHD.

For episode feedback or to suggest future topics, email us at the show address below.


Connect with Katherine here:


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LinkedIN

Threads 




https://www.additudemag.com/mental-health-in-teens-adhd-girls-crisis/#:~:text=The%20CDC%20report%20echoes%20findings,times%20the%20national%20average%20for


https://www.naomifisher.co.uk/


https://www.teamsquarepeg.org/what-we-do


Conners rating scale: this is NOT diagnostic on its own - it is a way for you to share observations with medical professionals.


https://nicolamorgan.com/my-books/blame-my-brain/


https://amzn.eu/d/7jGaD8b - Understanding girls with ADHD (Littman, Nadeau and Quinn)



Young S, Adamo N, Ásgeirsdóttir BB, Branney P, Beckett M, Colley W, Cubbin S, Deeley Q, Farrag E, Gudjonsson G, Hill P, Hollingdale J, Kilic O, Lloyd T, Mason P, Paliokosta E, Perecherla S, Sedgwick J, Skirrow C, Tierney K, van Rensburg K, Woodhouse E. Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach providing guidance for the identification and treatment of attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder in girls and women. BMC Psychiatry. 2020 Aug 12;20(1):404. doi: 10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9. PMID: 32787804; PMCID: PMC7422602.


Sibley, M. H., et al. "The Impact of Psychosocial Treatment on Personality Trait Development in Adolescents with ADHD."  Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology , vol. 44, no. 1, 2015, pp. 12-26.


Hinshaw, S. P., et al. "Prospective Follow-Up of Girls with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder into Early Adulthood: Continuing Impairment Includes Elevated Risk for Suicide Attempts and Self-Injury."  Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology , vol. 79, no. 6, 2011, pp. 824-834.


Quinn, P. O. "ADHD and the Female Brain."  Applied Neuropsychology: Adult , vol. 25, no. 3, 2018, pp. 223-230.


Skogli, E. W., et al. "ADHD in Girls and Boys – Gender Differences in Co-existing Symptoms and Executive Function Measures."  BMC Psychiatry , vol. 13, 2013, Article 298.


Rucklidge, J. J., & Tannock, R. "Psychiatric, Psychosocial, and Cognitive Functioning of Female Adolescents with ADHD."  Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 44, no. 4, 2005, pp. 368-376.


Young, S., et al. "ADHD and Endocrine Disorders: Toward a Consensus on Treatment Timing."  Brain Sciences , vol. 9, no. 4, 2019, Article 92.


Biederman, J., et al. "Influence of Gender on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Children Referred to a Psychiatric Clinic."  American Journal of Psychiatry , vol. 159, no. 1, 2002, pp. 36-42.


Owens, E. B., et al. "Girls with ADHD: The Evolving Female Phenotype."  Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 20, no. 3, 2017, pp. 283-301.


Nussbaum, N. L. "ADHD and Female Specific Concerns: A Review of the Literature and Clinical Implications."  Journal of Attention Disorders , vol. 21, no. 8, 2017, pp. 633-643.


Greven, C. U., et al. "A Twin Study of the Neuropsychological Consequences of Stimulant Abuse."  Archives of General Psychiatry , vol. 70, no. 3, 2013, pp. 297-304.


Graetz, B. W., et al. "Gender Differences Among Children with ADHD on Continuous Performance Tests: A Meta-Analytic Review."  Journal of Attention Disorders , vol. 5, no. 3, 2001, pp. 143-154.


Leffler, J. M., et al. "ADHD in Girls: Understanding How Its Presentation and Treatment Differ."  Current Psychiatry Reports , vol. 13, no. 2, 2011, pp. 219-226.


Coles, E. K., et al. "A Review of the Relationship Between Executive Function Deficits and ADHD: Causal Hypothesis or Epiphenomenon?"  Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 14, no. 4, 2011, pp. 368-384.


Mowlem, F. D., et al. "The Role of Emotion Regulation in Childhood ADHD: A Review."  Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 19, no. 4, 2016, pp. 333-348.


Zalecki, C. A., et al. "Self-Esteem in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis."  Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology , vol. 42, no. 4, 2014, pp. 507-520.


Fabiano, G. A., et al. "A Meta-Analysis of Behavioral Treatments for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder."  Clinical Psychology Review , vol. 29, no. 2, 2009, pp. 129-140.


Gaub, M., & Carlson, C. L. "Gender Differences in ADHD: A Meta-Analysis and Critical Review."  Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 36, no. 8, 1997, pp. 1036-1045.


Tung, I., et al. "Patterns of Comorbidity Among Girls with ADHD: A Meta-analysis."  Pediatrics , vol. 138, no. 4, 2016, e20160430.


Jerome, L., et al. "ADHD and Sleep in Adolescent Girls: Exploring the Interactions."  Journal of Pediatric Psychology , vol. 33, no. 7, 2008, pp. 739-748.


Cortese, S., et al. "Sleep in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Meta-Analysis of Subjective and Objective Studies."  Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 48, no. 9, 2009, pp. 894-908.

Transcripts

Speaker:

What's up my friend.

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It is ADHD.

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Coach Katherine, here

with this week's episode.

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Of ADHD, powerful possibilities.

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And because this week we

celebrate international women's

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day on the 8th of March.

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I decided that the whole of

March, I want to focus on.

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The way that ADHD affects women and girls.

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I am delighted to have some

amazing guest episodes this month.

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And I want to say if you are

somebody with an X, Y chromosome.

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Please don't feel excluded.

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You are.

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Also going to find lots of

value in these episodes because.

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ADHD does not discriminate.

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Although we still have a

diagnostic ratio in childhood.

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Which is far from equal

one-to-one boys and girls.

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We know that as we get older, The

ADHD that is present in girls.

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Becomes more noticeable

as we go through life.

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And so the things I talk about in

childhood and puberty, you will recognize.

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As a man or a young man.

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And when you go into parenthood.

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Many of the challenges that face

women as they become parents.

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Also affect men.

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But we have the added.

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Bonus of hormonal dysregulation on

top, which yes does affect our ADHD.

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And so I don't want you to feel

excluded, but I do want to say.

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This is specifically.

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Going to be looking at that.

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Social emotional neurobiological

impact of ADHD on women and girls.

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And I'm not going to apologize for

that because for decades, we were

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told that we couldn't have ADHD.

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Because we had a job, we had a degree, we

were managing to keep our homes running.

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We were doing all of these other things.

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And yet.

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ADHD.

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Has been shown to affect women

throughout their entire life.

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And this is only really

being discussed now.

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It might feel like that's

all you ever hear right now.

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But that's because it's really important.

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We catch up, we become

educated, empowered.

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And we share that knowledge with the

people that live with us and around us.

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As always, you will know that there

were going to be practical strategies

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and things that you can take away

and put into action right now.

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At the end of the show.

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So don't worry.

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I'm not going to spend a whole episode

talking about inequality and inequity and.

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All of these structural injustices that.

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People face if they're neurodivergent.

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But let's look at ADHD

and young women and girls.

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My story is that when I

was young, I was a dancer.

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I was obsessed with ballet.

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And one point, I think I was doing

four or five dance classes a week.

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Every single week.

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Bless my parents for having the

patience to, to take me to the mall.

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But.

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If your child is hyperactive, but

is using it in a acceptable, we.

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Are you actually going to

notice if they're hyperactive,

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I remember looking back.

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No.

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Being told by one of my

grandparents to stop fidgeting.

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To sit still to sit down.

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And didn't sit still.

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And yet if you'd asked me in my forties,

I would have said, no, I'm very daydreamy.

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Looking back.

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I recognize that there was an area

where I was definitely hyperactive.

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Definitely unable to sit still

and very much driven, like.

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but I was dancing so much.

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And it was a 70, so we walked everywhere.

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We literally didn't have

a car for many years.

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So physically I was very, very active

and that I think helped a great deal.

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But.

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would I have been diagnosed

with ADHD in my childhood.

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Probably not because my hyper

activity was socially acceptable.

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When we look at babies,

we don't think about them.

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Having ADHD or autism.

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Really.

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It's rare for a parent to

notice something immediately.

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I would say.

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As a parent that I noticed the difference.

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Within a few months.

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That's not my story to tell.

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But if you think that is something

different, And if you've got

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other children who are different

and who you can compare.

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Your child to.

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Pay attention to what you're noticing.

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Keep a record of it if you can,

because it will be useful later on.

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At the moment.

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The diagnosis seems to be the more

girls are inattentive presentation.

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Let's be clear there are

three presentations of ADHD.

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Combined.

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Inattentive and hyperactive.

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There are no seven kinds of

ADHD that are no types of ADHD.

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It's one.

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Spectrum.

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Of a neurobiological.

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Mostly genetic condition.

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Which changes the structure.

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and the neuro- transmitter soup.

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If you like in your brain.

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It's also going to affect the rest of your

body because our brains are not completely

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separate from the rest of our body.

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But if you have an ADHD brain,

it will be different from birth.

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We just don't notice it so much.

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round about the toddler age,

parents start to notice.

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Developmental differences.

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And we know that children with

ADHD are deleted in some areas

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between three and five years.

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So you may find that your child gets.

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In quotes stuck.

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At a certain stage.

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They are not emotionally

keeping up with their peers.

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The are still more prone

to having meltdowns or.

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Yeah.

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Unable to focus for the

same length of time.

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But at the same time, these are toddlers.

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And so I'm completely in support of the

medical community who do not want to

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diagnose very young children with things

like ADHD because it is a wide variety.

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In terms of our development as humans.

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And also, I don't think we should be

pathologizing normal childhood variation.

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I do think it's worth.

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Bearing in mind that there will

come a point where our traits or

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symptoms will start to get in the way.

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And that's unlikely to be in.

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Academic terms.

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It's more likely that your social and

emotional skills will be impacted.

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Before anybody notices that

academically you are struggling.

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We may think of ADHD as

being a behavioral challenge.

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And that's where it shows up.

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We know it's a brain-based difference.

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So that's why it affects your

social cues, your skills.

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Your ability to maintain friendships.

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Your ability to connect with other

people to manage your emotions.

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although I am passionate about helping

people and supporting them and their

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families with practical skills, with

learning, how to scaffold their.

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School days or study when

you go to university, all

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these things are important.

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The most important thing to learn is.

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The emotional and social.

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Skills.

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The friendship skills

that are often missing.

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Because the recent study in attitude,

which I will link to in the show notes.

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showed.

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Devastating impact on the

mental health of young people.

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Particularly young girls with ADHD.

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When they are socially excluded.

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And they don't see how fabulous.

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And precious and wonderful.

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They are.

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So thinking about.

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Our brains and the ADHD brain

in particular, what happens when

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these children, especially girls?

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Go from being younger children

who are maybe inattentive.

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Maybe a bit hyperactive.

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A little bit distractable

more than their peers.

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What happens and why is it

so much worse when the enter

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their tweens and early teens?

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They're already facing differences

in their prefrontal cortex.

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Which affect things like

impulse control or focus.

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Oh retention.

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Our decision-making.

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And all of these affect our daily life,

especially in the realm of friendships

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and social connection and childhood.

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And in learning.

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We also know that young girls and

boys with ADHD have differences

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in the level of dopamine and how

dopamine is regulated in their brain.

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They have extra efficient

dopamine transporters.

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They have lower levels

of dopamine production.

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THey are chronically under rewarded.

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Which is why they may be a little

bit more challenging when it

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comes to things like wanting toys.

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Wanting rewards.

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And it's why things like reward

charts are very inefficient.

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For kids with ADHD.

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And we also see

differences in brain scans.

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For girls with ADHD and boys.

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In terms of their functional brain

connectivity, especially and networks.

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that are related to attentional

control an inhibition.

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That being able to pause

before you do something.

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And quite often I've seen, especially

with young children with ADHD.

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They knew they shouldn't do something,

but they can't stop themselves.

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If that continues past the stage that

you would expect it to have stopped.

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There's a little flag for you to

keep a note of when you go and

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speak to somebody about ADHD.

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But the real kicker.

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Is when progesterone and estrogen

are introduced into ADHD brain.

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The science is very new.

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It's still not completely agreed.

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That this is what's happening.

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We suspect.

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I say, we, as if I've got anything

to do with it, I'm a coach.

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I scientist.

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The scientists suspect.

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That ADHD brains are more sensitive.

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To oestrogen and progesterone

and testosterone.

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So it makes sense on that context.

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So when our own bodies start to transform.

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From the age of nine upwards.

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The impact on your brain

is going to be significant.

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If you have a neurodivergent ADHD.

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Brain.

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And of course, all of this is

happening at the same time.

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As they are.

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Looking at a move from in the UK, we call

it primary school education, where you

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have one teacher all day in one classroom.

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Eh to secondary school and

the states junior high.

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Where you have different teachers for

subjects, you go from room to room.

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And while you're doing that,

you're meeting new people and

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your body is changing rapidly.

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So I went to leave it there for

now, in terms of puberty, but I hope

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you can see that even in childhood.

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These young people are facing

significant challenges.

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In terms of a people recognizing

their neurodivergence and B.

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Being able to access that support.

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Let's take a look at the social impact

of ADHD on girls, because I think this

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is something that we're only really

discussing in the popular pressnow.

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The social impact of ADHD is.

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Massively underestimated.

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The pressure on girls,

especially to conform.

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To meet certain standards.

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To have a certain form

of behavior demeanor.

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Is so strong now, even

compared to 15 years ago.

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Before the introduction of social media.

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That I think we're facing a

group of young girls with ADHD.

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Who are going to need.

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Massive levels of support.

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To challenge those norms and to.

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Be safe and well and themselves.

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Whenever your young girl with ADHD.

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Says something that is not expected.

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behaves in a way that is unacceptable

is unable to prevent themselves.

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Blurting something out.

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Forgets a social norm or nicety.

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Basically when their disability

impacts their day-to-day life.

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They are going to be judged mercilessly

by their peers and sadly by many adults.

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And of course.

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These children are aware

that they're being judged and

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that they are found wanting.

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Which creates more problems because

they become emotionally dysregulated.

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And when your brain is trying

to decide if you're actually

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about to be attacked by a beer.

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Or that girl in the corner

is giving you the stink-eye.

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And it's gonna say

something mean about you.

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You're not paying attention

to what's going on in class.

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You're not able to retain information.

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When you are under threat.

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And I see young people who.

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Who are under threat from the

minute they leave the house.

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And until they fall asleep, that

used to be until they came home.

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But the impact of

constantly being available.

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Should not be dismissed.

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' Because the other thing we know

is bullying and social isolation.

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And risky behavior.

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Are much more common in girls with ADHD.

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And the.

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Earlier these girls experienced

social isolation and bullying.

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The more likely they are to have

mental health problems as adults.

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And that includes anxiety and

depression, which is often the

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first thing that a doctor sees.

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I'm not bashing doctors at all.

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They face a very difficult job.

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But if a young woman comes

in, a young girl comes in and

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they're anxious and depressed.

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It would be worth thinking.

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Is there something else in the background?

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And I'm going to include a link to

the attitudes study from a couple

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of years ago, which was based

in the states, but which showed.

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Clearly the devastation on the mental

health of young girls with ADHD.

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From both, social pressures

from academic work, but

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especially from online community.

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This is.

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Totally and directly to young girls.

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With ADHD who are maybe in their tweens.

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Who are feeling really isolated right now.

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There's nothing wrong with you.

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You're wonderful.

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I wish you could see that.

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And even if you are feeling isolated, And

you don't have any friends and you're not

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sure what you're going to do is your life.

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And things are confusing.

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I promise.

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That you will get through this.

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You will find your people.

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You will discover your strengths.

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You will shine.

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And whatever the adults in your

life can do to support you.

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I will help them to learn.

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And this is if you are a

parent or a grandparent or an

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aunt or an uncle or a cousin.

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I have a young person who is suffering

right now with this isolation.

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The emotional dysregulation.

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The real challenges I'm seeing D

and D and young people with ADHD.

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You can make a difference.

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You.

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Individually can transform

that young person's life.

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If you are.

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Looking after a young person with ADHD.

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They've been told to have

anxiety or depression.

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They may have an eating disorder because

these start incredibly young these days.

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girls eight, nine and 10.

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I would ask you.

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To very carefully.

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Do ah, Screening.

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When did he self-assessment

forums with your young person?

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For ADHD and or autism, I will

include the links to free ones that

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you can download and do at home.

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take to your GP.

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If you suspect your young

person is neuro divergent.

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You can start to put things in

place before you get a diagnosis.

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Before they get medication.

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Before they get any kind of.

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School-based intervention.

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Because they are depending on us.

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To do the work.

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To be the scaffolding to

provide the framework.

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And that is our job.

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Because while we wait for assessment

and medication, Their emotional

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life, their academic life,

their social life is suffering.

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And the longer we delay the worse it gets.

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And there are.

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Two or three people, especially

in UK, I will include links

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to who are fantastic for this.

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Thinking of square pegs.

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And other people who I will link to below.

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What are the things that we can do?

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As parents, as educators, as

family and friends of young girls

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with ADHD to keep them safe.

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To help them.

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Live a better life and

what can we do right now?

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Number one build up their self-confidence.

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I'm not a fan of self-esteem.

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Which relies on comparing

yourself to other people.

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So self-esteem, to me is too

fragile and risky a strategy

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for girls with ADHD and adults.

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Think about their self-confidence

and how you can foster that at home.

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That doesn't mean you

do everything for them.

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I'm not suggesting we wrap

them up in cotton wool.

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And state.

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Identify their strengths.

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Their interests, their passions.

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If they have a skill for something.

341

:

What opportunity can we give them to.

342

:

Push that to enjoy it.

343

:

But also to become more

proficient, more skilled.

344

:

If a child is competent

and skilled and one area.

345

:

The more, we can allow them to flourish

and develop that at their own pace.

346

:

The more, their self-confidence

is likely to build.

347

:

This isn't about.

348

:

Overly praising children for nothing.

349

:

If you're going to praise your

child, that needs to be very specific

350

:

and it needs to be based on their

effort rather than the outcome.

351

:

And I do think you can

offer constructive feedback.

352

:

But I would phrase it instead of saying

that is a fantastic um, Lego sculpture

353

:

I think next time you could do this.

354

:

I would change the last part to.

355

:

How would you change it next time?

356

:

Or would you change it next time,

but how would you change it?

357

:

Next time allows them.

358

:

Do you think, oh, I could do even more.

359

:

Next time.

360

:

Up my self confidence as far as you can.

361

:

Without being inauthentic and fibbing

because they can smell that a mile off

362

:

second thing you can do is help

them to cultivate self-compassion

363

:

and self-regulation early on.

364

:

Self-compassion is about being kind and

accepting and loving towards yourself.

365

:

It means being kind and understanding.

366

:

In moments where we think we have failed.

367

:

Or where things are difficult.

368

:

And it's the difference between

saying, oh, I'm so stupid.

369

:

I can't believe I did that.

370

:

And.

371

:

Oh, this is really a difficult.

372

:

I might take a break and come

back to it in half an hour.

373

:

What I've got more energy.

374

:

Or.

375

:

Wow.

376

:

This is really difficult.

377

:

I'll keep trying for a bit longer.

378

:

But without that.

379

:

Judgment.

380

:

That we very often carry around.

381

:

And for parents, you can

model this ' cause I hear you.

382

:

I've seen you.

383

:

And you're very, very tough on yourself.

384

:

When you model self-compassion.

385

:

That is the voice that your

child will use for themselves.

386

:

When your child is struggling

when you are struggling.

387

:

Use the self-compassion

technique of acknowledging that.

388

:

all, humans struggle.

389

:

It's part of our shared experience.

390

:

It's part of being alive.

391

:

And it's normal.

392

:

To find things difficult,

to fail, to make mistakes.

393

:

And we are still worthy

of love and acceptance.

394

:

That in itself is going

to promote resilience.

395

:

And reduce isolation.

396

:

you can create a really supportive

and accepting environment.

397

:

That might mean that your house

has to look a little bit different.

398

:

It might mean that you have a kind of

flexible seating arrangement so that if

399

:

you've got a young girl who likes to be

fidgety and dancy and is hyperactive,

400

:

they have the space to do that.

401

:

Or you at least understanding why

they're doing it and not telling

402

:

them to sit still and sit down.

403

:

They are allowed to be

themselves within boundaries.

404

:

At home.

405

:

And if you're in school there

are ways that you can structure

406

:

your class structure, your day.

407

:

So the kids who need.

408

:

Breaks kids who need stimulation.

409

:

Kids who process information

differently are supported.

410

:

And the same thing at home, it means.

411

:

Everybody benefits.

412

:

As an example, I know that

I need visual information.

413

:

I cannot process auditory information.

414

:

At the same speed and I can't retain it.

415

:

So if you need to have quite

boards, Have one at the front door.

416

:

I have one in the

kitchen, wherever you are.

417

:

So that you can record the

information, normalize it.

418

:

For the young person involved.

419

:

An advocate for yourself and for them.

420

:

To have the accommodations that they need.

421

:

Early on.

422

:

Even if they don't have a diagnosis.

423

:

There are things that you and

the school can do that do not

424

:

require vast sums of money.

425

:

Just take some time.

426

:

And a bit of flexible

thinking and although.

427

:

Neurodivergent people are often

told that we're very rigid.

428

:

I have to say that in my

experience quite often.

429

:

There's an institutional element

of, this is how it's done.

430

:

That speaks to me of a real rigidity and

lack of flexibility when it comes to doing

431

:

what young people need in that moment.

432

:

The next thing you can do is

empower them with knowledge.

433

:

There are some great books about

ADHD and go-tos, I would go to

434

:

the one by Patricia Quinn and Dr.

435

:

Kathleen Nadeau.

436

:

These fantastic trailblazing women

in the forefront of ADHD and women.

437

:

Go to them.

438

:

They have books about ADHD and girls.

439

:

And understand them and yourself.

440

:

And don't feel like you have to

give them a lecture about it.

441

:

Drop it into conversation.

442

:

As you're going around.

443

:

If something happens.

444

:

And you say, oh that's okay.

445

:

That's normal with ADHD.

446

:

Because, our working memory is

a little bit more challenged,

447

:

especially if we're upset.

448

:

It doesn't need to be more

complicated than that.

449

:

And you don't need to watch a TV

series or go through a book with them.

450

:

Unless they are interested if they are.

451

:

Have at it.

452

:

As long as it's one that focuses on the

strengths and the possibilities that

453

:

come with ADHD, as well as understanding

where we need to add the scaffolding.

454

:

This means that when they go

into a setting outside the home,

455

:

They're going to be more able

to communicate what they need.

456

:

An advocate for themselves.

457

:

And I have to say.

458

:

I have seen young people who are so able.

459

:

To express what they need.

460

:

The adults in the room actually

didn't say anything because

461

:

it was so clearly expressed.

462

:

And so reasonably asked for.

463

:

This is what I need, because I

don't understand when you do this.

464

:

It's much easier for me to focus

when the class is like this or

465

:

when there's something on the

board and when the teacher reading

466

:

it out, I need both of those.

467

:

We need to empower them.

468

:

So that they know what they need.

469

:

And they're able to ask for it.

470

:

In a way that.

471

:

Most adults and all of them are going

to accept and be grateful for because

472

:

they want them to succeed as well.

473

:

And finally.

474

:

The next thing you can do.

475

:

And what is the most important things?

476

:

Is to understand the coping strategies.

477

:

Need to be personalized.

478

:

And share with that young

person, what they need.

479

:

Low them.

480

:

The space to be able to

identify when something works

481

:

and when something doesn't.

482

:

So if you have spent a fortune and this

is not me personally, I've seen it.

483

:

If you have spent a fortune on stem

things for young people, whether

484

:

that's chew things or fidget toys.

485

:

And they don't touch them and

they keep using the clicky pen.

486

:

That's okay.

487

:

They maybe need a stim toy that

has that level of noise that

488

:

has that particular action.

489

:

And we need to say that's okay.

490

:

That's what you need.

491

:

allow them To notice and then

record it with them and a way

492

:

that they can access later.

493

:

Things that can help a lot with

personalized strategies are.

494

:

Social skills groups.

495

:

And there's some debate around

whether these are actually

496

:

encouraging people to mask.

497

:

I personally think if a child chooses

to engage in a pro social behavior.

498

:

So that they can make friends.

499

:

That's okay.

500

:

As long as it's their choice.

501

:

And we're not asking them

to not be themselves.

502

:

We're sharing the knowledge of how.

503

:

This other group of people communicate.

504

:

They can opt in.

505

:

So social skills groups,

executive function, coaching,

506

:

which is something that I do.

507

:

And of course CBT or DBT, which is

something I don't do because I'm

508

:

not a therapist or a psychologist.

509

:

It's worth exploring what works for them

at different ages and different stages.

510

:

Because the social skills element, I

think, is the one that is really missing.

511

:

And is crucial.

512

:

And I have a few bits and pieces and

pulling together for that over the summer.

513

:

And the reason that they need to know

is their personal needs and their

514

:

personal strategies is because it gives

them a sense of autonomy and agency.

515

:

These are fancy words.

516

:

For saying that they are in control.

517

:

They are the people.

518

:

Who know themselves best.

519

:

Just from a safety point of view.

520

:

It's really important that all

children know that and they're

521

:

able to say what they need.

522

:

And hopefully those needs will

be met by the adults around them.

523

:

Whether that's family carers or in school.

524

:

Because when we focus on

self-confidence and self-compassion.

525

:

We're maybe notcreating young people

who are gonna be mini- geniuses

526

:

and get top marks in school.

527

:

We are helping.

528

:

Young human beings.

529

:

To form a core identity of worth

530

:

of healthy self-concept and genuine

resilience so that whatever happens

531

:

they know what works for them.

532

:

What they need.

533

:

And they're able to ask for it.

534

:

And they know that their worth is

beyond what they are putting out in

535

:

terms of productivity or academic

results or social validation.

536

:

As usual in the show notes, I have

linked a lot of academic pieces that

537

:

I think are valuable, are relevant.

538

:

And I've included the books

that I think are most useful.

539

:

But if you have a girl with

ADHD, That number one thing I

540

:

think that you need to offer.

541

:

Is acceptance.

542

:

Support.

543

:

And compassion.

544

:

And you need to offer that to yourself.

545

:

And show them how to do it.

546

:

That means.

547

:

Children do.

548

:

What we show with them,

not what we tell them.

549

:

So we might talk about

compassion and acceptance.

550

:

If we're not walking the walk.

551

:

they will ignore the talk.

552

:

That's my number one suggestion.

553

:

And just love them.

554

:

Just loves them with all their amazing

differences under things that make them.

555

:

Fantastic.

556

:

Fun to be around.

557

:

I absolutely love kids with autism ADHD.

558

:

Because they are so

interesting and fun and unique.

559

:

And I hope that you can enjoy

that and celebrate that.

560

:

With them too.

561

:

Next we have got a special

guest episode with Dr.

562

:

Kathleen Nadeau.

563

:

And we have got next week.

564

:

I'll look at the transition.

565

:

Between school and university,

early adulthood from teens

566

:

through to early adulthood.

567

:

It's going to be an absolute

cracker of an episode and it's

568

:

after international women's day.

569

:

Until then please take care of yourself.

570

:

Go out and I hope it's springtime

where you are and you can see the

571

:

spring buds and the flowers coming up.

572

:

Because it is making my heart sing.

573

:

If you've got a little girl,

who's what I call a fireball.

574

:

Or maybe somebody in your family does

share this episode with them and.

575

:

Make sure they know that you

see and value their young girl,

576

:

from one team bulb fireball,

family home here, to yours.

577

:

Take care of yourself.

578

:

Until next week.

579

:

I'm ADHD, coach Catherine.

580

:

Remember to stand in possibility.

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