Shownotes
ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders ADHD Coach Katherine
ADHD Powerful Possibilities podcast this week looks at the unique experiences of girls navigating ADHD through childhood and the complexities of puberty. With expert insights and the latest research, we uncover why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed, how symptoms can shift and intensify during puberty, and the critical strategies for parents and educators to offer meaningful support TODAY.
In This Episode, discover -
1. The Often-Missed Signs of ADHD in Girls: Understanding how ADHD presents differently in girls compared to boys, and why these signs are often overlooked.
2. The Impact of Puberty on ADHD: Exploring how hormonal changes can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and the challenges that arise during this transformative period.
3. Strategies for Support: Practical advice for creating a supportive environment that fosters self-confidence, empathy, and understanding for girls with ADHD.
4. Navigating Social Challenges: Insights into the social landscape for girls with ADHD, including friendship dynamics, bullying, and the influence of social media.
5. Empowering Girls with ADHD: How to empower girls with ADHD to recognize their strengths, develop resilience, and advocate for themselves.
💡Connect with me:
- Visit the website for additional resources and support: www.lightbulbadhd.com
- Follow us on Instagram: @adhd_coach_katherine
📣
If you found value in today's episode, please subscribe to our podcast, leave us a review, and share it with someone who could benefit from our discussion. Your support helps us reach and empower more individuals navigating the complexities of ADHD.
For episode feedback or to suggest future topics, email us at the show address below.
Connect with Katherine here:
https://www.naomifisher.co.uk/
https://www.teamsquarepeg.org/what-we-do
Conners rating scale: this is NOT diagnostic on its own - it is a way for you to share observations with medical professionals.
https://nicolamorgan.com/my-books/blame-my-brain/
https://amzn.eu/d/7jGaD8b - Understanding girls with ADHD (Littman, Nadeau and Quinn)
Young S, Adamo N, Ásgeirsdóttir BB, Branney P, Beckett M, Colley W, Cubbin S, Deeley Q, Farrag E, Gudjonsson G, Hill P, Hollingdale J, Kilic O, Lloyd T, Mason P, Paliokosta E, Perecherla S, Sedgwick J, Skirrow C, Tierney K, van Rensburg K, Woodhouse E. Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach providing guidance for the identification and treatment of attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder in girls and women. BMC Psychiatry. 2020 Aug 12;20(1):404. doi: 10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9. PMID: 32787804; PMCID: PMC7422602.
Sibley, M. H., et al. "The Impact of Psychosocial Treatment on Personality Trait Development in Adolescents with ADHD." Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology , vol. 44, no. 1, 2015, pp. 12-26.
Hinshaw, S. P., et al. "Prospective Follow-Up of Girls with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder into Early Adulthood: Continuing Impairment Includes Elevated Risk for Suicide Attempts and Self-Injury." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology , vol. 79, no. 6, 2011, pp. 824-834.
Quinn, P. O. "ADHD and the Female Brain." Applied Neuropsychology: Adult , vol. 25, no. 3, 2018, pp. 223-230.
Skogli, E. W., et al. "ADHD in Girls and Boys – Gender Differences in Co-existing Symptoms and Executive Function Measures." BMC Psychiatry , vol. 13, 2013, Article 298.
Rucklidge, J. J., & Tannock, R. "Psychiatric, Psychosocial, and Cognitive Functioning of Female Adolescents with ADHD." Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 44, no. 4, 2005, pp. 368-376.
Young, S., et al. "ADHD and Endocrine Disorders: Toward a Consensus on Treatment Timing." Brain Sciences , vol. 9, no. 4, 2019, Article 92.
Biederman, J., et al. "Influence of Gender on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Children Referred to a Psychiatric Clinic." American Journal of Psychiatry , vol. 159, no. 1, 2002, pp. 36-42.
Owens, E. B., et al. "Girls with ADHD: The Evolving Female Phenotype." Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 20, no. 3, 2017, pp. 283-301.
Nussbaum, N. L. "ADHD and Female Specific Concerns: A Review of the Literature and Clinical Implications." Journal of Attention Disorders , vol. 21, no. 8, 2017, pp. 633-643.
Greven, C. U., et al. "A Twin Study of the Neuropsychological Consequences of Stimulant Abuse." Archives of General Psychiatry , vol. 70, no. 3, 2013, pp. 297-304.
Graetz, B. W., et al. "Gender Differences Among Children with ADHD on Continuous Performance Tests: A Meta-Analytic Review." Journal of Attention Disorders , vol. 5, no. 3, 2001, pp. 143-154.
Leffler, J. M., et al. "ADHD in Girls: Understanding How Its Presentation and Treatment Differ." Current Psychiatry Reports , vol. 13, no. 2, 2011, pp. 219-226.
Coles, E. K., et al. "A Review of the Relationship Between Executive Function Deficits and ADHD: Causal Hypothesis or Epiphenomenon?" Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 14, no. 4, 2011, pp. 368-384.
Mowlem, F. D., et al. "The Role of Emotion Regulation in Childhood ADHD: A Review." Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , vol. 19, no. 4, 2016, pp. 333-348.
Zalecki, C. A., et al. "Self-Esteem in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis." Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology , vol. 42, no. 4, 2014, pp. 507-520.
Fabiano, G. A., et al. "A Meta-Analysis of Behavioral Treatments for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder." Clinical Psychology Review , vol. 29, no. 2, 2009, pp. 129-140.
Gaub, M., & Carlson, C. L. "Gender Differences in ADHD: A Meta-Analysis and Critical Review." Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 36, no. 8, 1997, pp. 1036-1045.
Tung, I., et al. "Patterns of Comorbidity Among Girls with ADHD: A Meta-analysis." Pediatrics , vol. 138, no. 4, 2016, e20160430.
Jerome, L., et al. "ADHD and Sleep in Adolescent Girls: Exploring the Interactions." Journal of Pediatric Psychology , vol. 33, no. 7, 2008, pp. 739-748.
Cortese, S., et al. "Sleep in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Meta-Analysis of Subjective and Objective Studies." Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , vol. 48, no. 9, 2009, pp. 894-908.
Transcripts
What's up my friend.
2
:It is ADHD.
3
:Coach Katherine, here
with this week's episode.
4
:Of ADHD, powerful possibilities.
5
:And because this week we
celebrate international women's
6
:day on the 8th of March.
7
:I decided that the whole of
March, I want to focus on.
8
:The way that ADHD affects women and girls.
9
:I am delighted to have some
amazing guest episodes this month.
10
:And I want to say if you are
somebody with an X, Y chromosome.
11
:Please don't feel excluded.
12
:You are.
13
:Also going to find lots of
value in these episodes because.
14
:ADHD does not discriminate.
15
:Although we still have a
diagnostic ratio in childhood.
16
:Which is far from equal
one-to-one boys and girls.
17
:We know that as we get older, The
ADHD that is present in girls.
18
:Becomes more noticeable
as we go through life.
19
:And so the things I talk about in
childhood and puberty, you will recognize.
20
:As a man or a young man.
21
:And when you go into parenthood.
22
:Many of the challenges that face
women as they become parents.
23
:Also affect men.
24
:But we have the added.
25
:Bonus of hormonal dysregulation on
top, which yes does affect our ADHD.
26
:And so I don't want you to feel
excluded, but I do want to say.
27
:This is specifically.
28
:Going to be looking at that.
29
:Social emotional neurobiological
impact of ADHD on women and girls.
30
:And I'm not going to apologize for
that because for decades, we were
31
:told that we couldn't have ADHD.
32
:Because we had a job, we had a degree, we
were managing to keep our homes running.
33
:We were doing all of these other things.
34
:And yet.
35
:ADHD.
36
:Has been shown to affect women
throughout their entire life.
37
:And this is only really
being discussed now.
38
:It might feel like that's
all you ever hear right now.
39
:But that's because it's really important.
40
:We catch up, we become
educated, empowered.
41
:And we share that knowledge with the
people that live with us and around us.
42
:As always, you will know that there
were going to be practical strategies
43
:and things that you can take away
and put into action right now.
44
:At the end of the show.
45
:So don't worry.
46
:I'm not going to spend a whole episode
talking about inequality and inequity and.
47
:All of these structural injustices that.
48
:People face if they're neurodivergent.
49
:But let's look at ADHD
and young women and girls.
50
:My story is that when I
was young, I was a dancer.
51
:I was obsessed with ballet.
52
:And one point, I think I was doing
four or five dance classes a week.
53
:Every single week.
54
:Bless my parents for having the
patience to, to take me to the mall.
55
:But.
56
:If your child is hyperactive, but
is using it in a acceptable, we.
57
:Are you actually going to
notice if they're hyperactive,
58
:I remember looking back.
59
:No.
60
:Being told by one of my
grandparents to stop fidgeting.
61
:To sit still to sit down.
62
:And didn't sit still.
63
:And yet if you'd asked me in my forties,
I would have said, no, I'm very daydreamy.
64
:Looking back.
65
:I recognize that there was an area
where I was definitely hyperactive.
66
:Definitely unable to sit still
and very much driven, like.
67
:but I was dancing so much.
68
:And it was a 70, so we walked everywhere.
69
:We literally didn't have
a car for many years.
70
:So physically I was very, very active
and that I think helped a great deal.
71
:But.
72
:would I have been diagnosed
with ADHD in my childhood.
73
:Probably not because my hyper
activity was socially acceptable.
74
:When we look at babies,
we don't think about them.
75
:Having ADHD or autism.
76
:Really.
77
:It's rare for a parent to
notice something immediately.
78
:I would say.
79
:As a parent that I noticed the difference.
80
:Within a few months.
81
:That's not my story to tell.
82
:But if you think that is something
different, And if you've got
83
:other children who are different
and who you can compare.
84
:Your child to.
85
:Pay attention to what you're noticing.
86
:Keep a record of it if you can,
because it will be useful later on.
87
:At the moment.
88
:The diagnosis seems to be the more
girls are inattentive presentation.
89
:Let's be clear there are
three presentations of ADHD.
90
:Combined.
91
:Inattentive and hyperactive.
92
:There are no seven kinds of
ADHD that are no types of ADHD.
93
:It's one.
94
:Spectrum.
95
:Of a neurobiological.
96
:Mostly genetic condition.
97
:Which changes the structure.
98
:and the neuro- transmitter soup.
99
:If you like in your brain.
100
:It's also going to affect the rest of your
body because our brains are not completely
101
:separate from the rest of our body.
102
:But if you have an ADHD brain,
it will be different from birth.
103
:We just don't notice it so much.
104
:round about the toddler age,
parents start to notice.
105
:Developmental differences.
106
:And we know that children with
ADHD are deleted in some areas
107
:between three and five years.
108
:So you may find that your child gets.
109
:In quotes stuck.
110
:At a certain stage.
111
:They are not emotionally
keeping up with their peers.
112
:The are still more prone
to having meltdowns or.
113
:Yeah.
114
:Unable to focus for the
same length of time.
115
:But at the same time, these are toddlers.
116
:And so I'm completely in support of the
medical community who do not want to
117
:diagnose very young children with things
like ADHD because it is a wide variety.
118
:In terms of our development as humans.
119
:And also, I don't think we should be
pathologizing normal childhood variation.
120
:I do think it's worth.
121
:Bearing in mind that there will
come a point where our traits or
122
:symptoms will start to get in the way.
123
:And that's unlikely to be in.
124
:Academic terms.
125
:It's more likely that your social and
emotional skills will be impacted.
126
:Before anybody notices that
academically you are struggling.
127
:We may think of ADHD as
being a behavioral challenge.
128
:And that's where it shows up.
129
:We know it's a brain-based difference.
130
:So that's why it affects your
social cues, your skills.
131
:Your ability to maintain friendships.
132
:Your ability to connect with other
people to manage your emotions.
133
:although I am passionate about helping
people and supporting them and their
134
:families with practical skills, with
learning, how to scaffold their.
135
:School days or study when
you go to university, all
136
:these things are important.
137
:The most important thing to learn is.
138
:The emotional and social.
139
:Skills.
140
:The friendship skills
that are often missing.
141
:Because the recent study in attitude,
which I will link to in the show notes.
142
:showed.
143
:Devastating impact on the
mental health of young people.
144
:Particularly young girls with ADHD.
145
:When they are socially excluded.
146
:And they don't see how fabulous.
147
:And precious and wonderful.
148
:They are.
149
:So thinking about.
150
:Our brains and the ADHD brain
in particular, what happens when
151
:these children, especially girls?
152
:Go from being younger children
who are maybe inattentive.
153
:Maybe a bit hyperactive.
154
:A little bit distractable
more than their peers.
155
:What happens and why is it
so much worse when the enter
156
:their tweens and early teens?
157
:They're already facing differences
in their prefrontal cortex.
158
:Which affect things like
impulse control or focus.
159
:Oh retention.
160
:Our decision-making.
161
:And all of these affect our daily life,
especially in the realm of friendships
162
:and social connection and childhood.
163
:And in learning.
164
:We also know that young girls and
boys with ADHD have differences
165
:in the level of dopamine and how
dopamine is regulated in their brain.
166
:They have extra efficient
dopamine transporters.
167
:They have lower levels
of dopamine production.
168
:THey are chronically under rewarded.
169
:Which is why they may be a little
bit more challenging when it
170
:comes to things like wanting toys.
171
:Wanting rewards.
172
:And it's why things like reward
charts are very inefficient.
173
:For kids with ADHD.
174
:And we also see
differences in brain scans.
175
:For girls with ADHD and boys.
176
:In terms of their functional brain
connectivity, especially and networks.
177
:that are related to attentional
control an inhibition.
178
:That being able to pause
before you do something.
179
:And quite often I've seen, especially
with young children with ADHD.
180
:They knew they shouldn't do something,
but they can't stop themselves.
181
:If that continues past the stage that
you would expect it to have stopped.
182
:There's a little flag for you to
keep a note of when you go and
183
:speak to somebody about ADHD.
184
:But the real kicker.
185
:Is when progesterone and estrogen
are introduced into ADHD brain.
186
:The science is very new.
187
:It's still not completely agreed.
188
:That this is what's happening.
189
:We suspect.
190
:I say, we, as if I've got anything
to do with it, I'm a coach.
191
:I scientist.
192
:The scientists suspect.
193
:That ADHD brains are more sensitive.
194
:To oestrogen and progesterone
and testosterone.
195
:So it makes sense on that context.
196
:So when our own bodies start to transform.
197
:From the age of nine upwards.
198
:The impact on your brain
is going to be significant.
199
:If you have a neurodivergent ADHD.
200
:Brain.
201
:And of course, all of this is
happening at the same time.
202
:As they are.
203
:Looking at a move from in the UK, we call
it primary school education, where you
204
:have one teacher all day in one classroom.
205
:Eh to secondary school and
the states junior high.
206
:Where you have different teachers for
subjects, you go from room to room.
207
:And while you're doing that,
you're meeting new people and
208
:your body is changing rapidly.
209
:So I went to leave it there for
now, in terms of puberty, but I hope
210
:you can see that even in childhood.
211
:These young people are facing
significant challenges.
212
:In terms of a people recognizing
their neurodivergence and B.
213
:Being able to access that support.
214
:Let's take a look at the social impact
of ADHD on girls, because I think this
215
:is something that we're only really
discussing in the popular pressnow.
216
:The social impact of ADHD is.
217
:Massively underestimated.
218
:The pressure on girls,
especially to conform.
219
:To meet certain standards.
220
:To have a certain form
of behavior demeanor.
221
:Is so strong now, even
compared to 15 years ago.
222
:Before the introduction of social media.
223
:That I think we're facing a
group of young girls with ADHD.
224
:Who are going to need.
225
:Massive levels of support.
226
:To challenge those norms and to.
227
:Be safe and well and themselves.
228
:Whenever your young girl with ADHD.
229
:Says something that is not expected.
230
:behaves in a way that is unacceptable
is unable to prevent themselves.
231
:Blurting something out.
232
:Forgets a social norm or nicety.
233
:Basically when their disability
impacts their day-to-day life.
234
:They are going to be judged mercilessly
by their peers and sadly by many adults.
235
:And of course.
236
:These children are aware
that they're being judged and
237
:that they are found wanting.
238
:Which creates more problems because
they become emotionally dysregulated.
239
:And when your brain is trying
to decide if you're actually
240
:about to be attacked by a beer.
241
:Or that girl in the corner
is giving you the stink-eye.
242
:And it's gonna say
something mean about you.
243
:You're not paying attention
to what's going on in class.
244
:You're not able to retain information.
245
:When you are under threat.
246
:And I see young people who.
247
:Who are under threat from the
minute they leave the house.
248
:And until they fall asleep, that
used to be until they came home.
249
:But the impact of
constantly being available.
250
:Should not be dismissed.
251
:' Because the other thing we know
is bullying and social isolation.
252
:And risky behavior.
253
:Are much more common in girls with ADHD.
254
:And the.
255
:Earlier these girls experienced
social isolation and bullying.
256
:The more likely they are to have
mental health problems as adults.
257
:And that includes anxiety and
depression, which is often the
258
:first thing that a doctor sees.
259
:I'm not bashing doctors at all.
260
:They face a very difficult job.
261
:But if a young woman comes
in, a young girl comes in and
262
:they're anxious and depressed.
263
:It would be worth thinking.
264
:Is there something else in the background?
265
:And I'm going to include a link to
the attitudes study from a couple
266
:of years ago, which was based
in the states, but which showed.
267
:Clearly the devastation on the mental
health of young girls with ADHD.
268
:From both, social pressures
from academic work, but
269
:especially from online community.
270
:This is.
271
:Totally and directly to young girls.
272
:With ADHD who are maybe in their tweens.
273
:Who are feeling really isolated right now.
274
:There's nothing wrong with you.
275
:You're wonderful.
276
:I wish you could see that.
277
:And even if you are feeling isolated, And
you don't have any friends and you're not
278
:sure what you're going to do is your life.
279
:And things are confusing.
280
:I promise.
281
:That you will get through this.
282
:You will find your people.
283
:You will discover your strengths.
284
:You will shine.
285
:And whatever the adults in your
life can do to support you.
286
:I will help them to learn.
287
:And this is if you are a
parent or a grandparent or an
288
:aunt or an uncle or a cousin.
289
:I have a young person who is suffering
right now with this isolation.
290
:The emotional dysregulation.
291
:The real challenges I'm seeing D
and D and young people with ADHD.
292
:You can make a difference.
293
:You.
294
:Individually can transform
that young person's life.
295
:If you are.
296
:Looking after a young person with ADHD.
297
:They've been told to have
anxiety or depression.
298
:They may have an eating disorder because
these start incredibly young these days.
299
:girls eight, nine and 10.
300
:I would ask you.
301
:To very carefully.
302
:Do ah, Screening.
303
:When did he self-assessment
forums with your young person?
304
:For ADHD and or autism, I will
include the links to free ones that
305
:you can download and do at home.
306
:take to your GP.
307
:If you suspect your young
person is neuro divergent.
308
:You can start to put things in
place before you get a diagnosis.
309
:Before they get medication.
310
:Before they get any kind of.
311
:School-based intervention.
312
:Because they are depending on us.
313
:To do the work.
314
:To be the scaffolding to
provide the framework.
315
:And that is our job.
316
:Because while we wait for assessment
and medication, Their emotional
317
:life, their academic life,
their social life is suffering.
318
:And the longer we delay the worse it gets.
319
:And there are.
320
:Two or three people, especially
in UK, I will include links
321
:to who are fantastic for this.
322
:Thinking of square pegs.
323
:And other people who I will link to below.
324
:What are the things that we can do?
325
:As parents, as educators, as
family and friends of young girls
326
:with ADHD to keep them safe.
327
:To help them.
328
:Live a better life and
what can we do right now?
329
:Number one build up their self-confidence.
330
:I'm not a fan of self-esteem.
331
:Which relies on comparing
yourself to other people.
332
:So self-esteem, to me is too
fragile and risky a strategy
333
:for girls with ADHD and adults.
334
:Think about their self-confidence
and how you can foster that at home.
335
:That doesn't mean you
do everything for them.
336
:I'm not suggesting we wrap
them up in cotton wool.
337
:And state.
338
:Identify their strengths.
339
:Their interests, their passions.
340
:If they have a skill for something.
341
:What opportunity can we give them to.
342
:Push that to enjoy it.
343
:But also to become more
proficient, more skilled.
344
:If a child is competent
and skilled and one area.
345
:The more, we can allow them to flourish
and develop that at their own pace.
346
:The more, their self-confidence
is likely to build.
347
:This isn't about.
348
:Overly praising children for nothing.
349
:If you're going to praise your
child, that needs to be very specific
350
:and it needs to be based on their
effort rather than the outcome.
351
:And I do think you can
offer constructive feedback.
352
:But I would phrase it instead of saying
that is a fantastic um, Lego sculpture
353
:I think next time you could do this.
354
:I would change the last part to.
355
:How would you change it next time?
356
:Or would you change it next time,
but how would you change it?
357
:Next time allows them.
358
:Do you think, oh, I could do even more.
359
:Next time.
360
:Up my self confidence as far as you can.
361
:Without being inauthentic and fibbing
because they can smell that a mile off
362
:second thing you can do is help
them to cultivate self-compassion
363
:and self-regulation early on.
364
:Self-compassion is about being kind and
accepting and loving towards yourself.
365
:It means being kind and understanding.
366
:In moments where we think we have failed.
367
:Or where things are difficult.
368
:And it's the difference between
saying, oh, I'm so stupid.
369
:I can't believe I did that.
370
:And.
371
:Oh, this is really a difficult.
372
:I might take a break and come
back to it in half an hour.
373
:What I've got more energy.
374
:Or.
375
:Wow.
376
:This is really difficult.
377
:I'll keep trying for a bit longer.
378
:But without that.
379
:Judgment.
380
:That we very often carry around.
381
:And for parents, you can
model this ' cause I hear you.
382
:I've seen you.
383
:And you're very, very tough on yourself.
384
:When you model self-compassion.
385
:That is the voice that your
child will use for themselves.
386
:When your child is struggling
when you are struggling.
387
:Use the self-compassion
technique of acknowledging that.
388
:all, humans struggle.
389
:It's part of our shared experience.
390
:It's part of being alive.
391
:And it's normal.
392
:To find things difficult,
to fail, to make mistakes.
393
:And we are still worthy
of love and acceptance.
394
:That in itself is going
to promote resilience.
395
:And reduce isolation.
396
:you can create a really supportive
and accepting environment.
397
:That might mean that your house
has to look a little bit different.
398
:It might mean that you have a kind of
flexible seating arrangement so that if
399
:you've got a young girl who likes to be
fidgety and dancy and is hyperactive,
400
:they have the space to do that.
401
:Or you at least understanding why
they're doing it and not telling
402
:them to sit still and sit down.
403
:They are allowed to be
themselves within boundaries.
404
:At home.
405
:And if you're in school there
are ways that you can structure
406
:your class structure, your day.
407
:So the kids who need.
408
:Breaks kids who need stimulation.
409
:Kids who process information
differently are supported.
410
:And the same thing at home, it means.
411
:Everybody benefits.
412
:As an example, I know that
I need visual information.
413
:I cannot process auditory information.
414
:At the same speed and I can't retain it.
415
:So if you need to have quite
boards, Have one at the front door.
416
:I have one in the
kitchen, wherever you are.
417
:So that you can record the
information, normalize it.
418
:For the young person involved.
419
:An advocate for yourself and for them.
420
:To have the accommodations that they need.
421
:Early on.
422
:Even if they don't have a diagnosis.
423
:There are things that you and
the school can do that do not
424
:require vast sums of money.
425
:Just take some time.
426
:And a bit of flexible
thinking and although.
427
:Neurodivergent people are often
told that we're very rigid.
428
:I have to say that in my
experience quite often.
429
:There's an institutional element
of, this is how it's done.
430
:That speaks to me of a real rigidity and
lack of flexibility when it comes to doing
431
:what young people need in that moment.
432
:The next thing you can do is
empower them with knowledge.
433
:There are some great books about
ADHD and go-tos, I would go to
434
:the one by Patricia Quinn and Dr.
435
:Kathleen Nadeau.
436
:These fantastic trailblazing women
in the forefront of ADHD and women.
437
:Go to them.
438
:They have books about ADHD and girls.
439
:And understand them and yourself.
440
:And don't feel like you have to
give them a lecture about it.
441
:Drop it into conversation.
442
:As you're going around.
443
:If something happens.
444
:And you say, oh that's okay.
445
:That's normal with ADHD.
446
:Because, our working memory is
a little bit more challenged,
447
:especially if we're upset.
448
:It doesn't need to be more
complicated than that.
449
:And you don't need to watch a TV
series or go through a book with them.
450
:Unless they are interested if they are.
451
:Have at it.
452
:As long as it's one that focuses on the
strengths and the possibilities that
453
:come with ADHD, as well as understanding
where we need to add the scaffolding.
454
:This means that when they go
into a setting outside the home,
455
:They're going to be more able
to communicate what they need.
456
:An advocate for themselves.
457
:And I have to say.
458
:I have seen young people who are so able.
459
:To express what they need.
460
:The adults in the room actually
didn't say anything because
461
:it was so clearly expressed.
462
:And so reasonably asked for.
463
:This is what I need, because I
don't understand when you do this.
464
:It's much easier for me to focus
when the class is like this or
465
:when there's something on the
board and when the teacher reading
466
:it out, I need both of those.
467
:We need to empower them.
468
:So that they know what they need.
469
:And they're able to ask for it.
470
:In a way that.
471
:Most adults and all of them are going
to accept and be grateful for because
472
:they want them to succeed as well.
473
:And finally.
474
:The next thing you can do.
475
:And what is the most important things?
476
:Is to understand the coping strategies.
477
:Need to be personalized.
478
:And share with that young
person, what they need.
479
:Low them.
480
:The space to be able to
identify when something works
481
:and when something doesn't.
482
:So if you have spent a fortune and this
is not me personally, I've seen it.
483
:If you have spent a fortune on stem
things for young people, whether
484
:that's chew things or fidget toys.
485
:And they don't touch them and
they keep using the clicky pen.
486
:That's okay.
487
:They maybe need a stim toy that
has that level of noise that
488
:has that particular action.
489
:And we need to say that's okay.
490
:That's what you need.
491
:allow them To notice and then
record it with them and a way
492
:that they can access later.
493
:Things that can help a lot with
personalized strategies are.
494
:Social skills groups.
495
:And there's some debate around
whether these are actually
496
:encouraging people to mask.
497
:I personally think if a child chooses
to engage in a pro social behavior.
498
:So that they can make friends.
499
:That's okay.
500
:As long as it's their choice.
501
:And we're not asking them
to not be themselves.
502
:We're sharing the knowledge of how.
503
:This other group of people communicate.
504
:They can opt in.
505
:So social skills groups,
executive function, coaching,
506
:which is something that I do.
507
:And of course CBT or DBT, which is
something I don't do because I'm
508
:not a therapist or a psychologist.
509
:It's worth exploring what works for them
at different ages and different stages.
510
:Because the social skills element, I
think, is the one that is really missing.
511
:And is crucial.
512
:And I have a few bits and pieces and
pulling together for that over the summer.
513
:And the reason that they need to know
is their personal needs and their
514
:personal strategies is because it gives
them a sense of autonomy and agency.
515
:These are fancy words.
516
:For saying that they are in control.
517
:They are the people.
518
:Who know themselves best.
519
:Just from a safety point of view.
520
:It's really important that all
children know that and they're
521
:able to say what they need.
522
:And hopefully those needs will
be met by the adults around them.
523
:Whether that's family carers or in school.
524
:Because when we focus on
self-confidence and self-compassion.
525
:We're maybe notcreating young people
who are gonna be mini- geniuses
526
:and get top marks in school.
527
:We are helping.
528
:Young human beings.
529
:To form a core identity of worth
530
:of healthy self-concept and genuine
resilience so that whatever happens
531
:they know what works for them.
532
:What they need.
533
:And they're able to ask for it.
534
:And they know that their worth is
beyond what they are putting out in
535
:terms of productivity or academic
results or social validation.
536
:As usual in the show notes, I have
linked a lot of academic pieces that
537
:I think are valuable, are relevant.
538
:And I've included the books
that I think are most useful.
539
:But if you have a girl with
ADHD, That number one thing I
540
:think that you need to offer.
541
:Is acceptance.
542
:Support.
543
:And compassion.
544
:And you need to offer that to yourself.
545
:And show them how to do it.
546
:That means.
547
:Children do.
548
:What we show with them,
not what we tell them.
549
:So we might talk about
compassion and acceptance.
550
:If we're not walking the walk.
551
:they will ignore the talk.
552
:That's my number one suggestion.
553
:And just love them.
554
:Just loves them with all their amazing
differences under things that make them.
555
:Fantastic.
556
:Fun to be around.
557
:I absolutely love kids with autism ADHD.
558
:Because they are so
interesting and fun and unique.
559
:And I hope that you can enjoy
that and celebrate that.
560
:With them too.
561
:Next we have got a special
guest episode with Dr.
562
:Kathleen Nadeau.
563
:And we have got next week.
564
:I'll look at the transition.
565
:Between school and university,
early adulthood from teens
566
:through to early adulthood.
567
:It's going to be an absolute
cracker of an episode and it's
568
:after international women's day.
569
:Until then please take care of yourself.
570
:Go out and I hope it's springtime
where you are and you can see the
571
:spring buds and the flowers coming up.
572
:Because it is making my heart sing.
573
:If you've got a little girl,
who's what I call a fireball.
574
:Or maybe somebody in your family does
share this episode with them and.
575
:Make sure they know that you
see and value their young girl,
576
:from one team bulb fireball,
family home here, to yours.
577
:Take care of yourself.
578
:Until next week.
579
:I'm ADHD, coach Catherine.
580
:Remember to stand in possibility.
