Today I'm so excited to be publishing my interview with Eric Winters.

Eric is a self-leadership coach, speaker and author with deep knowledge in the science of building courageous and emotionally intelligent mindsets.

Things we will be discussing:

How can we learn to manage our minds under pressure ?

When we are under pressure it’s so tough to master your mind..

Divorce, betrayal, financial distress etc

Authenticity:

How authentic can we be

Author your own life

Decide what is important to you

Life time regrets

check out this book:

 the top 5 regrets of the dying

...I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself

Get better at choosing to do the hard thing when it's required from you

Develop mind skills

What ignites you ??

How to get better at noticing fear ?

How can you be with fear while you take action

Expect to upset people once you make a bold move and learn to push through this discomfort

Check out this book:

Swipe right on your best self 

simple steps to a bolder life with fewer regrets

by Eric Winters 

https://www.ericwinters.com.au/product/swipe-right-on-your-best-self/

Advertisement tells you : you are not enough

Your conscious mind gets it. Ah this is just bollocks and somebody trying to sell me something

BUT your sub conscious mind will still register.. I need it

I’m not enough, I need to be different 

3 mindsets

..Appreciate and value what you do have 

..Practice self compassion - when you are kind to yourself , you will be bolder in life

How to develop self compassion

..Courageous authenticity - be authentic while feeling uncomfortable 

Ericwinters.com.au

with love and respect

A.

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really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:08

Hello, hello, and welcome to Borealis experience.

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I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very delighted to have Eric

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winters with me today. We had a quick chat and yeah, got to know

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each other a little bit. And what strikes me is that Eric is

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working towards yeah awakening and enlightenment and helping

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people to reconnect to their heart.

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The most important mission and vision that I heard from him

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today is to live an authentic life that if we don't live

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authentically, we will regret it one day. And all too often, we

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are not aware that we are living a life to please other people,

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or in order to belong to a certain group of people. And

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then at the end of the day, when life is over, we think about

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what we could have done, we think about

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our passions or desires that we neglected in order to fit in in

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order to not upset our dad or a mom. And it is a huge awakening

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to be aware of this. And I'm very excited to be talking about

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this with Eric,

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would you like to invite us a little bit into your life into

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your past? And how was your journey? Like? Were you always

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aware of your steps of your choices? Or did you make

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mistakes in the past and learn from them?

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When did your journey of awakening start?

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And yeah, we just go from there.

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My goodness, Aurora, hello, from Sydney, Australia. How long do

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we have? Right? I'm going to try to keep this fairly condense.

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Where did my journey of awakening start? I used to live

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in the UK. I grew up by the seaside in England, hunting for

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crabs and shrimps. In rock pools, I had a very happy

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childhood, splashing around looking for for wildlife. And

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ultimately, I went away from home study that I thought I was

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going to be the next David Attenborough. That's a

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confession, Aurora, my my mission as a child was the next

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person on TV talking about little animals scurrying around

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in the background, to speak in soft voices about the marvels of

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nature. And I still love nature today. I love immersing myself

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in the natural world and moving through it. But I'm not, you may

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not have seen me on any TV documentaries. Instead, what I

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found myself doing was moving into the world. of it, I became

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a computer consultant. And I was working in very high pressure

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organizations. If you work in it, there's generally an

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emergency happening. It's really one emergency after the other.

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So for example, we might be managing the computer system

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that IBM uses to help Qantas to sell airline tickets. Now, when

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that system stopped working, there's a lot of excitement. In

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the office, there's a lot of phones start ringing, because

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the fines are very, very high. So I worked in a lot of places

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where there's very, very high pressure, I worked in Munich for

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three years I worked in, in

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Scotland for eight years, the Abu Dhabi in the United Arab

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Emirates in the Middle East for two years. And in Australia,

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what I noticed was it was the same, it didn't matter which

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culture I was in, it didn't matter how intelligent and

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experienced people were, there were some leaders, when the

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pressure was on, would find the best in themselves, they could

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manage their minds under pressure. And not only could

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they get the best out of themselves, they could get the

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best out of others. And it was wonderful to watch. But there

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were other leaders just as clever, just as smart, just as

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experienced. When the pressure was on. We begin to panic a

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little get a little anxious as you might, but then they

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couldn't manage their experience. And they would

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unfortunately, infect their teams with their worry. And

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everyone's performance would drop and problems would take

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seven or eight times as long to solve. And I was curious, I

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thought well hang on. What's making the difference here? This

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and I discovered this wonderful world of sound

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Science, I've been on a lot of research into how we can manage

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our minds under pressure, how we can do that, how we can get the

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best out of ourselves, how we can choose to show up as the

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kind of people we'd really like to be, when things are tough.

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When things are easy, it's not so hard to make good decisions.

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It's when we're all under pressure, that when you're when

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things are difficult when there's been loss, when there's

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been disappointment, setback, betrayal, it's under those

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circumstances, that all of us find it harder to make good

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choices. And I discovered, to my delight, that there's a lot of

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different strategies that people can use. And these are skills,

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skills that we can all develop, to get better at doing what's

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important.

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But hard, doing what's important, but hard. And you

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were talking earlier on about authenticity.

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And this word is bandied around such a lot. Now you've got to be

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authentic, you've got to be authentic, and it can kind of

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wash over you. But I suggest there's actually nothing more

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important in life than authoring your own life, let's just say

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developing the skills to decide what's important to you and

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authoring a life. That's as close as it can be. To that I

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live in Australia, but a wonderful Australian palliative,

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Candice or called Bronnie Ware,

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was taking care of people in the last few days and weeks of their

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lives. And she was with people, hundreds of people during those

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last days. And throughout her work, she kept hearing the same

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lifetime regrets again and again as people confided in her and

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let her know what they really regretted.

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And Ronnie published a book called The Top Five Regrets of

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the Dying. And the number one regret of the dying, now directs

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my mission in life. Because she heard this more often than

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anything else. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true

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to myself, and not the life that others expected of me. I wish

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I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, and not the

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life that others expected of me.

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It turns out that Courage isn't something that we're born with.

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And we've either got it or we haven't. It's something we do.

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It's something we do, we it's an ability, which every single one

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of us can get better at, we can get better at choosing to do the

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hard thing when it's important. And so what I do now is I go

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into organizations, small charities, big corporations, and

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I help professionals at all levels in organizations to

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develop mind skills, really their mind skills, so that they

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can one identify what they care about. What's what's actually

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really, really important to them, not what their parents

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say, not what their culture says. And the culture has an

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awful lot to say about what people of a certain age from a

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certain background with a certain skin color, what they

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ought to aspire to know. We try to tease that apart expectations

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of others.

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And identify Yeah, actually, what lights me up, what ignites

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me? What fuels me, personally.

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So I help people to identify that and then I teach them the

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skills and they're just, they're just skills we can all practice

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them to get better at noticing fear, and discomfort, and worry

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what what will someone say if I do this, if I really go for the

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career that I want? If I really ask this person out and I risk

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rejection, if I attempt to learn this new I don't know it could

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be a new technique, new skill playing a musical instrument.

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What if I fail? What if others laugh? I help people to manage

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their minds that they can be with anxiety and fear, not to

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get rid of it. Not to get good luck with that. Good luck

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getting rid of fear. But what we can do is get better at being

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with not the suppressing and pushing away, not exaggerating,

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but allowing

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and dialing down a little guarding down a little but being

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with fear whilst we take actions that are aligned

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aligned with lives which are our authentic to ourselves. That's

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what I do now. And that's what really drives me each day. It's

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hugely rewarding Aurora to to see people increasingly live

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their own lives that are true to themselves. I, I can imagine

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that. Yeah, to see to see someone finally step up for

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themselves and to live their true life speak their truth is,

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is so beautiful to to witness. And what you mentioned, as well

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as that is a lot of fears and doubts coming up once you are on

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that path. And to know that fear and anxiety is part of our

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lives, I feel a lot of times, we try to navigate through life

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avoiding these uncomfortable feelings. And we think this is

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that this is success. But it is not it is pushing through, going

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through allowing those feelings to be there, but not feeling

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dominated by these feelings and then ending up giving up.

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What I would like to know, Eric is, did you notice once you

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started being authentic and living your truth, that your

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relationships around you changed? Did you lose people?

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Did you gain people? How was your personal experience with

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becoming authentic and walking your truth? Hmm. Well, I think

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on the the occasions in which I have conspicuously done

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something important that matters to me,

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others to have noticed and to have fed back to me and said,

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Oh, I wish I could do that, for example. So I was living in

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Scotland for eight years. And I loved Edinburgh. And it was it

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was very cold. Very. And I was ready to warm up between quite

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frank, I was ready to warm up a little bit. And I was offered

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voluntary redundancy. And a lot of people saying no, don't

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leave. It's a very dangerous world out there, stay safe, stay

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in the comfort zone. It's voluntary redundancy, you don't

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have to take it stay where you are Better the devil you know,

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Better the devil you know. And that I think that was the first

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time I took a really bold leap. And I gave up my work, I had no

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job to go to. But I just chose now I'm going to step out, I had

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to make a decision quickly, I was told I had a week to decide

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whether or not I wanted to accept, this is the full payout.

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And I did it and I I went off to work in the Middle East. But a

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lot of folks that are I wish, I wish I could do something like

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that. start afresh go on an adventure or something.

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And there were a number of occasions. And you know what I

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think we all model behavior all the time. I think we all

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underestimate just how impactful our own behaviors are. To

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others, we underestimate our impacts. We are all influencing

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other people every day, in everything we do. So if you do

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take a courageous move that's observed by somebody else.

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It's a ripple effect. It will ripple out to other people and

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other people's acts of courage ripple towards me to and I feel

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myself, you know, on a lake, if there's a ripple, it sort of

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lifts things up. As the ripple goes out, it lifts everything

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up. On a lake, it might just be ducks. But in real life, when

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you do something bold or or something courageous, we're all

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moved by that and we're all as the report comes out, it's like

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we're all lifted up a little by the acts of courage of other

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people. So I allow myself to be lifted up when I notice other

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people doing courageous acts. And it helps me to be a little

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bit more courageous. This is very beautiful, really sad. And

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I know people will understand exactly what you're saying.

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Sometimes. So I feel that this ripple effect of courage and

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bravery triggers people and challenges them because they

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don't feel like they have the same tool set as you and there's

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jealousy and criticism coming up.

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Which is also good because then they can reflect about it and

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see oh, what what can I change? What do I have in my power? How

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how do you recommend dealing with people? For instance, you

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expected support from

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and all of a sudden you realize

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they are not there yet, and they are not supporting your new

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path, your courageous path? Yes, yes. And it's almost a certainty

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that there will be others who disapprove. Yes, in life, they

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will. And that that's, that's going to be part of taking

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courageous action anytime we lift ourselves up. Because you

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may be embarrassing that if you take a bold move, you're

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reminding them that they are not living, potentially not living a

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bold life that's authentic themselves. So expect to annoy

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people. But what I would say is that, yeah, how do we navigate

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that.

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And we need to resource ourselves Aurora, so that we

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have the resilience and the capability to to be with this

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discomfort. I, I've written a book called swipe right on your

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best self. And in it, I described the three human

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predicaments. That if left alone will hold us all back. So it's

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not that we're defective or flawed. We're supposed to be

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fearful. And there are three human predicaments animals don't

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have that hold us all. Living smaller lives, keep us all sort

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of constrained and captured.

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But there are simple steps. And I'd like to share a few of them

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with you now. Right? So people don't don't need to get the

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book. But there are, there are three mindsets that if we

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practice them, will enable us to be with disapproval of others,

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and still be able to choose to do what's that what matters.

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The first mindset that so important to cultivate,

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let me just take a step back, all of us are, our courage is

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depleted by our culture. So it's my opinion, that we all of us

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live in a culture, which is continually telling us that we

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are not enough. So you look at advertising, what it's really

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saying is, you aren't looking at this poster. Do you see how

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you're not popular enough? Did you see? Do you see how you're

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not attractive enough? Can you tell? You're not rich? not rich

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enough? Are you? Are you as Richard and popular as

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attractive?

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Do you have that car that speed but whatever this is, our

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advertising works. It creates a sense of neediness and lack. So

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we get these messages. How often do you see an ad Aurora? How

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often would you say in your life? Do you see an advert

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promoting something that you don't have? I would say I'm

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bombarded with those match messages. And all social media

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makes it even worse. It is it is not like an ad but it's as a

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people. And this creates a gap. People as well. Right? Because

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of comparison. Yes, Elysee? And well,

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you're so right. I think it's almost like we've been machine

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gunned with advertising messages anywhere you place your eyes. If

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you go outside, there'll be adverts. If you turn on your

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computer, and it's social media, yes. It's not only saying look

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at these things you don't have, but also look how much happier

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everybody else is. Yeah, you see, you're not happy enough.

Unknown: 00:18:35

And you would you wouldn't be if you got us, our fragrance,

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everything would change. If you were to get the fragrance we're

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selling, then suddenly, you would be

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everything would be fine. And if it doesn't work initially, then

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you haven't bought enough of it. You need to you need to read

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those. So

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the problem with all of this is, mentally we get it we know what

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advertising does. You look at it, you you understand. But when

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we're exposed to advertising our conscious mind understands what

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they're doing. But our unconscious mind believes it, it

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drinks it in. It's true. I'm not that attractive. Yeah, that does

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hurt a little bit. It would be nice to be more popular. It

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would be nice to have more money, to be more more to be

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more. So inevitably, we feel less. We feel less.

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There's a solution to this. And there are no billboards

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advertising it because nobody makes money out of it. And this

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is ancient wisdom. Ancient the stoics knew this 2000 years ago,

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Epictetus said, if you'd like to be happy, learn to want what you

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already have.

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Learn to want what you already had. So I call this attitude,

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defiant gratitude. It's defined because the world

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All this telling you,

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you're not enough, you need to buy more, you need to be

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different. You're not enough as you are not rich enough, popular

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enough all the rest of it.

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So if we can appreciate what we do have in life.

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We're not saying that's how I'm going to stop there. But if we

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can just value the things that we do have the ability, I'm

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talking to you and you're around the other side of the planet

Unknown: 00:20:25

Aurora, we're talking in real time. We it's easy to take

Unknown: 00:20:29

miracles for granted.

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But we live in a miraculous age, I can get a book out of the

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library for nothing. And nothing. Can you imagine? How

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amazing that would have seen just for most of human history.

Unknown: 00:20:46

I know books are quite recent, but they were precious items

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they were they were like solid blocks of gold books when they

Unknown: 00:20:52

first arrived. Very hard to get them. Now you can get any books

Unknown: 00:20:56

you want. I've got hot and cold running water Emperor's for most

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of history have not had hot and cold running water. We live like

Unknown: 00:21:06

Emperor's Aurora. And we can we do your Empress Aurora and

Unknown: 00:21:12

Emperor Eric, you're in charge of Canada, you're doing a good

Unknown: 00:21:16

job. Um, I'm struggling a bit with Australia. But we all of

Unknown: 00:21:21

us, we all live like Emperor's. So let's acknowledge it. Now, by

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spending just a few moments each day just we're not talking about

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wallowing in this few moments. Just valuing what we already

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have connections,

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sunlight, a roof over your head perhaps, or maybe something to

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eat

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a hot coffee, small things.

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practicing gratitude for brief bursts actually emboldens us we

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become emboldened. We're more capable to do what's difficult,

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even in the presence of disapprove potential disapproval

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or anxiety. So that's the number one attitude defined gratitude,

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cultivate that.

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The second mindset, which I encourage people and show people

Unknown: 00:22:17

how to develop, I didn't just tell people go away and get to

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find gratitude, we have a lot of exercises. But the second

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mindset that we practice developing we get better at is

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one of self compassion. And I'm very inspired by Christine nefs.

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Work, and the world's leading researcher on self compassion.

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And Christine shows that people who practice self compassion are

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more courageous, they are bolder, when we are kind to

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ourselves, you didn't choose Aurora to be born into a human

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mind. Thank you very much. With worries and fears and doubts.

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You didn't pick your parents, I'm imagining, I'm guessing you

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didn't pick your parents, you might not have picked your

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schooling, you know, an awful lot in life. We didn't choose

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but bang, here we are.

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I mean, a human body, it's got a human mind. It talks a lot. It's

Unknown: 00:23:13

very, very worried. Here I am, you're entitled to have a little

Unknown: 00:23:19

bit of self kindness for your predicament of being in a human

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body. Now, this isn't the same as letting yourself off the hook

Unknown: 00:23:29

and saying, oh, I'll just indulge myself in, in chocolate

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alcohol. That's not very kind. That's not a very high thing to

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do to yourself. Christine talks about fierce kindness, sometimes

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the kindest thing we can do to ourselves is give ourselves a

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kick up the butt and get out there and start doing things

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which are truly kind for us. It might be changing our diets a

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bit.

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I can confess to that I ought to be a little bit more selective

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about what I'm eating during our current Sydney lockdown.

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Could be exercising a bit, it might be applying for a

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different job.

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I don't know what. But she says we should be practicing not just

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tender kindness but a fierce kindness. Kindness is the first

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part. But in her

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her package of self compassion, she also includes

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mindfulness. And she says the ability to be able to be honest

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with yourself about life's difficulties, not to exaggerate

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them and not to push them away to to just be honest. And to

Unknown: 00:24:35

hold it in balanced. Awareness. Actually, you know what? The

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thing I'm going through just now it is tough. Yeah, I'm, I'm not

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going to deny that. I'm not going to sugarcoat it actually,

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these circumstances I'm going through right now. They are

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hard.

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And she says being honest with yourself is a key component of

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self compassion. It's not

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kinda pretending everything's fine here. Everything's fine.

Unknown: 00:25:02

And men, especially women, increasingly, but women are

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under pressure to soldier on. stoically misuse of the word

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stoic. But that's what we say, soldier on. I know, I'm not

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worried, I'm not worried everything's fine. putting on a

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brave face. That is a dishonest way of living. And people will

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do that if they don't know how to be with discomfort, it is

Unknown: 00:25:28

possible to be with worry, fear, doubt, anger, resentment, all of

Unknown: 00:25:33

those things, but to hold it in your hand in balanced awareness,

Unknown: 00:25:38

and not have it overwhelm you and have you acting in unhelpful

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manners. So I teach people how to develop self compassion with

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balanced awareness.

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And the final mindset, that I help people to develop and show

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people how they do it in workshops, that come back, and

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they get better and better at this is living with what I call

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courageous authenticity.

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So the first thing is, they decided what would a life that

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was more authentic to themselves look like? What would they be

Unknown: 00:26:13

doing more of? What values would they be doing more of maybe

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it's, they'd be doing more learning, or maybe they'd be

Unknown: 00:26:21

taking care. Or maybe they've been putting off painting in

Unknown: 00:26:26

their lives, maybe at their hearts, you know, their parents

Unknown: 00:26:29

said they should be an accountant, doctor and a lawyer.

Unknown: 00:26:32

And a lot of parents do, and which is why a lot of students

Unknown: 00:26:36

leave in the first hour 30% of doctors, I understand, only do

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it because their parents said they, they'd be really proud,

Unknown: 00:26:45

we'd be so proud if you became a doctor.

Unknown: 00:26:49

But it's not just medicine. A lot of people carve lives in

Unknown: 00:26:52

order to please others without knowing it, without knowing it.

Unknown: 00:26:57

So help people to identify what would be a life that would be

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meaningful to you. And it might not include very much money,

Unknown: 00:27:04

actually, it might be you know what, I just love to grow things

Unknown: 00:27:07

I adore growing, I love using my hands.

Unknown: 00:27:12

I love to use my hands, I love painting or pottery or, or

Unknown: 00:27:17

showing people guiding people through cities, showing them the

Unknown: 00:27:21

history, I don't know. But I help people to identify what,

Unknown: 00:27:24

what brings them alive, what helps them to experience more

Unknown: 00:27:28

vitality. So that's the first part knowing what but the second

Unknown: 00:27:33

part is the courageous part. It's discovering how they can

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take steps that manifest or demonstrate authenticity, whilst

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they have the discomfort. The worry that others might not

Unknown: 00:27:50

approve the fear that they might fail.

Unknown: 00:27:54

Failure is a terrible word, the fear that they might get

Unknown: 00:27:57

feedback that they prefer not to have.

Unknown: 00:28:01

And it's a set of skills actually doing things with

Unknown: 00:28:03

discomfort. A lot of us wait longer to do that thing. When

Unknown: 00:28:07

I'm ready. They'll say Aurora, I'm absolutely going to do this.

Unknown: 00:28:11

I'm going to go for that career. When I'm ready. Now what I

Unknown: 00:28:15

really mean is, when I'm absolutely confident that I

Unknown: 00:28:17

cannot fail. And that is a tragic thing to do. To wait

Unknown: 00:28:23

until you're ready. We need to learn to take action before

Unknown: 00:28:30

we're ready.

Unknown: 00:28:33

Parents

Unknown: 00:28:35

are never ready. For children. There'll be no kitchen kids on

Unknown: 00:28:38

the planet. If all parents said no, we're waiting to where we

Unknown: 00:28:42

were truly prepared to raise a child. You learn through the

Unknown: 00:28:47

doing. And most of life is like that we actually get better. By

Unknown: 00:28:52

doing what I I'd like to I like to say to people, I've run

Unknown: 00:28:56

workshops on how to write a book because I've written one. And

Unknown: 00:28:59

the first thing I say which alarms people I say to everyone

Unknown: 00:29:01

is I need you all to know it's really important that you cannot

Unknown: 00:29:04

write a book. None of you. None of you can write a book. I say

Unknown: 00:29:09

you don't have to. You don't have to, you just need to begin

Unknown: 00:29:13

and get better. By the end, you will have written a book.

Unknown: 00:29:19

But we learned to do things by going through them.

Unknown: 00:29:26

Yeah, so that's the third mindset. So that's what I teach

Unknown: 00:29:30

people to do. And it is so rewarding to see people

Unknown: 00:29:35

cultivate greater authenticity. And this is a development thing.

Unknown: 00:29:40

It's not like overnight, you wake up and then

Unknown: 00:29:44

I'm now going to leave my job in finance and move to an island

Unknown: 00:29:51

where I'm going to raise sheep authentically. I've just

Unknown: 00:29:55

developed the skills to you know, we don't do that. No, this

Unknown: 00:29:59

is this is more

Unknown: 00:30:00

All incremental steps, but people love progress. It's

Unknown: 00:30:04

progress. That's rewarding, huh, not not the end point. It's

Unknown: 00:30:09

progress. So we savor the progress. Hmm. So it is, it is

Unknown: 00:30:16

truly like, such an important mission that you're on,

Unknown: 00:30:20

especially during COVID times now I feel because a lot of

Unknown: 00:30:25

people have the time to reflect about the last couple years or

Unknown: 00:30:30

months and realize, Okay, what did I do with my life is this

Unknown: 00:30:35

where I want to go back to or do I want to see life in a

Unknown: 00:30:39

different way?

Unknown: 00:30:41

That's truly inspiring. And what I love most about it is that it

Unknown: 00:30:48

is very simple. It is like,

Unknown: 00:30:52

going to the gym and having to learn to strengthen a muscle

Unknown: 00:30:56

that you've been neglecting, or you knew you you never knew you

Unknown: 00:31:00

had. And people can start today, they don't have to, I don't

Unknown: 00:31:06

know, go back to university or spend a whole lot of money,

Unknown: 00:31:11

there's tons of content out there, where people can learn to

Unknown: 00:31:16

train their mindset.

Unknown: 00:31:20

This is so Yeah, beautiful. And I'm so excited to be talking to

Unknown: 00:31:26

you and connecting with you here.

Unknown: 00:31:29

We're slowly coming to an end here, like Time was running away

Unknown: 00:31:33

quickly, I would love you to

Unknown: 00:31:39

talk a little bit more about your book, I want to put it in

Unknown: 00:31:42

the show notes. But the title of your book is gonna be a lot of

Unknown: 00:31:48

millennials out there. And I want to make sure that people

Unknown: 00:31:53

Yeah, know about you a little more and how they can connect

Unknown: 00:31:58

with you, contact you and where they can find your book. But

Unknown: 00:32:03

tell us a little bit more about your book.

Unknown: 00:32:07

So I've titled it swipe right on your best self simple steps to a

Unknown: 00:32:12

bolder life with fewer regrets. And most of us now are familiar

Unknown: 00:32:17

with dating apps. It was Tinder, I think, who started this this

Unknown: 00:32:21

model of you're presented with a face and a little bit of

Unknown: 00:32:23

description about someone. And if you see something you like,

Unknown: 00:32:26

you point to it, and you swipe right. I actually learned Aurora

Unknown: 00:32:31

last week that 30% of all relations, relationships right

Unknown: 00:32:35

now, were formed online. So it's become very, very mainstream. It

Unknown: 00:32:40

was a bit new and novel recently, but now it's very

Unknown: 00:32:42

ordinary people. And it's not just people we choose, we can

Unknown: 00:32:46

choose pizzas. on Amazon, anything you choose, you swipe

Unknown: 00:32:49

right. So swiping right means yes, I choose that. And if you

Unknown: 00:32:55

don't like it, you swipe left.

Unknown: 00:32:58

In life, we spend quite a lot of time thinking about the people

Unknown: 00:33:00

we'd like to date to live with to be with. But there's a person

Unknown: 00:33:05

that you spend even more time with your dating partner. It's

Unknown: 00:33:11

yourself, it's yourself. And what a lot of people don't

Unknown: 00:33:15

realize is that actually we get to choose what kind of people

Unknown: 00:33:20

we're going to show up as we have choice points throughout

Unknown: 00:33:25

our life, we get to decide in this interaction with someone,

Unknown: 00:33:31

how am I going to be and we get to prioritize, actually, I'm

Unknown: 00:33:35

going to be considerate, or thoughtful, or caring, or be

Unknown: 00:33:39

persuasive, or I'll be encouraging. I don't know what,

Unknown: 00:33:44

but different situations call for us to step up and

Unknown: 00:33:49

demonstrate different skills. And it's a choice, it's a

Unknown: 00:33:54

choice. So my book is about helping people to choose how

Unknown: 00:33:59

they are going to be, we spend so much time thinking about what

Unknown: 00:34:02

we're going to do, or I've got to write this report, I've got

Unknown: 00:34:06

to give this talk, I've got to send this blog post, we think

Unknown: 00:34:11

about the task, where we don't think very much about the how we

Unknown: 00:34:16

are going to be. So that's how the book got the title. That's

Unknown: 00:34:19

what it's about. I'd like to reassure your listeners that

Unknown: 00:34:23

actually you don't have to be by the book in order to find out if

Unknown: 00:34:27

it's of interest to you. On the very front page of my website,

Unknown: 00:34:31

you can download the first 40 Pages for free. And actually,

Unknown: 00:34:35

you'll know after reading one page, you don't even need to

Unknown: 00:34:38

read 40 I promise you'll know after reading the first page, if

Unknown: 00:34:43

this is a book, which is going to resonate for you, you'll be

Unknown: 00:34:47

able to tell from my writing style. So the web the website is

Unknown: 00:34:52

Eric winters.com.au.

Unknown: 00:34:57

If your listeners any of y'all

Unknown: 00:35:00

Since I'm sure some of them are, are based in Australia, and yes,

Unknown: 00:35:02

you can get the book, if you like it, you can get the book

Unknown: 00:35:05

from me by ordering it from my website, you get a signed copy.

Unknown: 00:35:09

But if not, if you're in Canada, if you're in Germany, if you're

Unknown: 00:35:12

in the US, you can order it from all online booksellers it's

Unknown: 00:35:15

available everywhere, and in paper form and kindled form.

Unknown: 00:35:20

If people would like to stay in touch, I would love them to

Unknown: 00:35:24

connect, either on LinkedIn,

Unknown: 00:35:27

or on Facebook.

Unknown: 00:35:30

All of my talks and workshops are described on my website,

Unknown: 00:35:35

because this isn't, this is something I, it's my mission now

Unknown: 00:35:39

is to share the skills yes, they're in a book. But we don't

Unknown: 00:35:43

actually develop skills. By reading, we, we get a taste, we

Unknown: 00:35:48

get a taste for, like the taste of that we get, we develop our

Unknown: 00:35:54

skills by doing. And there are lots of exercises in the book.

Unknown: 00:35:58

So people can practice by themselves. But I do deliver

Unknown: 00:36:01

talks and run workshops, live online, across the planet now

Unknown: 00:36:06

helping people to develop these skills. That doesn't matter

Unknown: 00:36:08

where you are.

Unknown: 00:36:11

Wonderful to give a talk or run some workshops to an

Unknown: 00:36:14

organization, anywhere on the planet to help your people to

Unknown: 00:36:18

live lives of greater courageous authenticity. Hmm. Such a

Unknown: 00:36:26

beautiful ending to this episode. And thank you so much

Unknown: 00:36:30

for providing all these. Yeah, contact possibilities that we

Unknown: 00:36:35

have to keep in touch. And, yeah, I'm very touched by how

Unknown: 00:36:40

lively and enthusiastic you are about this topic around

Unknown: 00:36:45

authenticity, it is truly important for people to

Unknown: 00:36:50

reconnect to themselves and know that they have magical, like

Unknown: 00:36:56

forces and potential roaming inside of themselves. And they

Unknown: 00:37:00

just have to learn to Yeah, let it out and see it themselves not

Unknown: 00:37:06

needing other people to give them approval or anything but to

Unknown: 00:37:10

see it themselves. Thank you so much for the bottom of my heart

Unknown: 00:37:14

to be here, Eric.

Unknown: 00:37:17

It's a pleasure and thank you for the work you do in spreading

Unknown: 00:37:21

important messages to a very broad community. It's been my

Unknown: 00:37:26

honor.

Unknown: 00:37:27

Beautiful. Thank you so much.