Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

In this conversation, Robb and Tina discuss body image and self-acceptance, particularly for women over forty. They explore the pressures of societal beauty standards and the influence of social media filters. They also touch on the topic of plastic surgery and the importance of embracing one's true self. The conversation highlights the need for self-love and the recognition that beauty fades, but inner qualities endure. Overall, the discussion encourages individuals to prioritize their mental and emotional well-being over external appearance. The conversation explores the perception of smartness and the distinction between street smart and book smart. It then delves into the challenges of body image over forty and whether society should accept the reality or continue pushing unrealistic standards. The importance of inner beauty and focusing on personal growth is emphasized. The discussion also touches on the difference between looking and wanting, and the need to appreciate beauty in all its forms. The fading of physical beauty is acknowledged, but the significance of one's character and attitude is highlighted. The conversation concludes with the reminder to be true to oneself and find someone who appreciates and loves you for who you are.

Explicit

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This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email DGTTwisted@gmail.com. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

and welcome to another show if don't get this twisted i am rob along with my co host as always tina how are you doing tina

i'm a little bit tired today but i'm doing all right how are you yeah we threw a big bridle shower yesterday for my cousin so my house is a mess and i feel like i'm ninety today but we had a good time

i hear you i am also tired i was

oh you had a shindig

we had a pretty big shindig and it poured like a mother yesterday and it was super cold so we had heaters and everything but i don't know that ache from being on cement to cold cement is i don't know starting to effect this body of mine

he's very nice yeah i did

yeah it's interesting how that work that works you know as we get older everything changes it was it as it's been cold mostly for southern california where i live we had snow yesterday

right

yeah we didn't have snow but we had a ship on a rain i have not seen rain like that in a long time

yeah it's been raining

yeah i'd heard somewhere on the news or somewhere i read that like all the lakes are like almost to capacity yeah that's how much rain we've had and it's gonna

are you serious you know we haven't seen that in probably thirty years

oh a long time

wow

pretty crazy yeah which i guess is good because maybe if it's going to head across the united states maybe like havas we'll get it because i know that like lake haves was like way way way way below so maybe that will help

yeah i hope it does

yes i agree so before we get started as always let's say check our our socials instagram and facebook and twitter and you can hear us everywhere you can hear podcast apple google spotify heart radio there's a bunch now there's a even more i put them on our website that you can go to if you you can click the link off of facebook um there's a some new ones that they got added so i added

hm

to the tree so you can click on those but you can you can pretty much hear us anywhere podcasts are it's pretty cool i i totally agree there you go so we were talking of the air before we started and of course like some things were overly ahead of the game and today we're not because i think we're just didn't know what to talk about actually we have lots of things to talk about but we have to pick them so over the next yeah over the next month

nice

well there you go

yeah

we had to see how we felt about it

definitely be a little more ahead of the game because we're going to have to be because march is coming and this week we thought we'd talk another friend of mine through a list of things because i keep asking people hey what do you want to hear about and she said body image in your forties but i said how about body image over forty because not all of us are in our forties anymore and and i think that it's obviously

you get older things change like you don't you don't lose weight quick enough and how you're supposed to look it's still in your head from your twenties in your thirties you know what i mean so and and then you throw the social aspect on top of that you know like to me i've i've gotten to the point where i'm just like look the social thing is such bullshit because none of that is real

and and i don't mean just pictures just people like when people go oh well this actress is in her late forties and look at her yeah that's her fucking job her job is to get up in the morning and go to the gym that's her

hm

plus she probably has a plastic search surgeon on speed dial

that's true as well but let's just say she's natural let's just i'll give some people the benefit of the doubt the thing is is that that is your job it's your job to look good so part of that is that instead of like us who go to a job and then try to fit in the gym that is her job she gets up in the morning she has someone who tells her how to eat you know mostly if they're working on a film you know so some of the things that i have her

does some of these guys do like huge jackman's going to do wolverine again he's going to do it for dead pull three the ship that that guy goes through to do that part is out of control like he only eats chicken and broccoli all day long that's breakfast lunch and dinner that's it it's all heat he yeah exactly has parts galore and then and then he's on this crazy crazy crazy workout

hm

really

must must be very gassy

uh

prom because i think hugh jackman's in his fifties now so to do that part is is insanely difficult for him because he knows that he has to really really really really really work because his body isn't twenty years old anymore you threw a twenty year old kid into that part he's going to bulk up quicker he's going to hold muscle mass quicker you know he's producing way more to stoster

h yes

hm

so you know as we get older there's it's harder to keep up that body image and and i think our heads because now look we're even though we're in our forties or fifties you know wherever you are in that spectrum you still want to look like you're in your twenties right that's like you said that that's why there's so many plastic surgeons out there that are later

it is

hm

changing people and look i'm all up for plastic surgery i think it's an amazing thing if it helps your mental state along with your physical state i would never be one to say like don't get this done because i disagree with that um someone i was with before had a had her boobs done a tummy tuck and liposuction in the same surgery

right

yet

yeah exactly that's exactly what it was to it was ouchy it was crazy um because they generally don't

excuse me

yeah

it sounds kind of barbaric to be honest with you

and it's funny because they usually don't do that like they want to do them separately generally um the two surgeries the time checking a boob job generally they want you to do as separate surgeries um at least then maybe not now as much because when she had it done it was quite a few years ago

m hm

but i will say um the she had three kids she was just not happy and she had really big boobs and then she had a breast production and then she lost forty pounds so then she even felt more like a boy she was just like ah i can't want boobs again so

yeah

i don't understand reductions anyway because to me it's like everybody that i know that's had one they have a breast reduction they gain weight and then their boobs are huge again it's like why did you put yourself through that i don't understand it or they get them done so small that they look like they look like a man like they don't have the same features of woman yes

yeah they lose the curves yeah they go from a quote unquote feminine figure to looking more square

yeah and i've always had big boobs and you know they talk about how your straps dig into your shoulders on the braze and how you know you have a lot of weight going forward and it's bad for your back and i'm still not a believer in a reduction and i work on my feet so you have to make sure you stand up straight you can't roll your shoulders i mean as a woman you just shouldn't do that anyway so you got to learn how to use proper um pass

hm

you're to support whatever you have hanging in our front

right i mean i think i think look technology has obviously gotten better with the making of bras you know there's there's a lot more you can do now and obviously look it's could it be bad for your back probably um that's why

oh it's absolutely it absolutely is i mean people people get reductions for that reason all the time

that's why she did because in the beginning she was just like i can't take it so

hm

but i understand you know all these different reasons why she didn't do it i don't think she did it for vanity at least i don't a tommy tug probably but i think that was just more like you know she didn't want to look at three kids worth of skin

and and at the time like i didn't care i didn't push it like i was like okay do what you want because you have to live inside that shell you know like i guess i'm one that thinks that that's why i don't think plastic surgery is a big deal it's like do it and and i mean it for both men as well if that's what you want cool dude that's more power to you i mean i would probably do it um if it was something that i felt

i get it

was just had to be done you know what i mean like like i have a bad nose because i've been hit too many times but i don't think i d get a nose job per se you know what i mean like i'm all right with it

you know as as you get older nothing stays perfect so even if you get the tumitukanna boob job you still have a fifty year old ask used to have fifty year old legs used to have fifty year old skin like there's just there's where does it stop i don't know i think i don't know that plastic surgery is always the answer there's things that need to be fixed i get that but to i think we need to work on our our perception of what beauty is

and our perception of who we are and what we are and not what we look like and i think that body image as we get older if force feeds you uh that lesson you know you have to work on you have to work on liking you and and work on your personality like my personality is way better now than it was in my twenties but my boobs are way better in my twenties you know so you have to you have to take the good with the bad

right

have to you have to

i don't know i think growth is the answer and worrying about if you look perfect is so it's just losing battle it's never going to be perfect you're never going o be perfect there's always going to be something that you want fixed like i've lost a lot of weight in the in the last like seven or eight years and now i have my grandmother's chin it drives me crazy and do i want to get that fixed absolutely well i get it fixed probably

hm

but is that more for it is for vanity's sake like let's just be honest but i don't want to look at my grandmother's chin but

yeah

sure i know somebody who got that done too got the oh yeah yeah yeah but and again that one i don't think she needed it before but when you after i saw it done i was like holy shit like it's immensely different but what they have to do to you is crazy because you know the

yeah the goggle done

m hm

i don't want to hear that

cut they cut little things behind your ears and then they pull things and they pulled it back and then the suitor it so but i will say and like i said before i don't think she needed it but it was it was a huge change like wow like at least in the beginning obviously because when you first see them they do look different but ah i can understand it i mean

right

oh yeah

whole thing is just that though as we start getting older and i kind of agree with you look beauty faith beauty fades regardless that's why that's why you have to you know find or be with somebody that that you like their inside because the inside is the only thing that is going to stay

hm

well and i and if you work on your inside you like yourself better i mean i like myself away better than i did when i was even forty like i went through a huge monumental change at forty and i'm not the same person at all and thank god thank god i dropped everything about that because it doesn't serve me any more so to be through that and to understand that that life

hm

is better now it's it's good but i think that i think that every ten years you kind of go through a different stage and at fifty self acceptance seems to be um at least in my theme of life what is happening and the the happier i am and the more fun i'm having and the more i don't care seems like the more i attract people to me and i wish i had known that in my twenties but in my twenties what people

we're attracted to is not what it is in my fifties so there's that too

that's that's totally for sure and i think there's there's a lot of different things to like yes you have to see yourself a certain way right and let's say you're in a marriage because a relation i don't want to say like a dating relationship per se but like a marriage relationship a husband sees his wife a certain way regardless of how she sees herself right that's why i like guys

hm

hm

still like women even in their forties or fifties to dress and i hate to say sex but dress a certain way in that risky or just certain ways like you know you know whatever it is whatever floats their bout like let's say you like women in sun dresses but your wife doesn't like the way she looks at him in his head he still sees her as the same woman he married and

a little more risky

hm

she in the mirror doesn't and that's where things are really hard where the one person sees them is like oh my god you're this stunning beautiful woman and and she sees herself as i'm not so that's where the confliction is and yes the person has to still think there something or feel good about themselves to put that forward so you know it might be like things working against you

becase there's nothing like the guy might be like oh you know you look stunning today and she's like i mean not really so you're right it's it's could be a constant thing where it's a hard thing you have to accept yourself for who you are

but on the other hand if you stop with it because i used to be one when when my x would say something to me i'd be like you don't know what you're like you like look at this look at that and he was like would you stop if i'm seeing something leave me alone like it's just what it is and just shut the fuck up like i am tired of hearing you i can't say anything nice to you because you've already got something chitty coming out of your mouth he didn't talk to me like that by the way i'm just paraphrasing but but true

but no it's how it's how it came out to you though or how you could think it would come out

yeah well not came out beautifully because he was really good at telling me things but on the other hand it was me it was the crap in my head that i was letting run my you know my agenda and when he put that in my face a few times i had to stop and say look like whatever he's seen he's he's looking through eyes that aren't damaged he's looking through a personal

hm

that didn't that didn't have to go the way that i went you know grow up the way i did so i just kind of start accepting it it took years and years of and and faking it till you make it like just saying thank you and then he was like who you just said thank you and i'm like yeah well i still don't believe it but thank you for saying so and then it went to yeah i'm kind of feeling it today and the transformation of just not being a dick to myself begin to

hm

ben and and i'm so grateful and blessed that that happened because i've always had a weight problem and when i was younger it wasn't cute to be with a chunky girl you know what i mean it wasn't cute to be with somebody that was confident like i didn't have the personality that that you know where girls were just in high school that you know guys flocked to him that wasn't me but i was always everybody's buddy i was everybody's friend i was the party starter i had a great time so instead of

hm

instead of looking at what i was i was always looking at what i couldn't be or what i wasn't and and i think that as i've gotten older i'm just like i could be all of it and not give a ship and and when i got that i don't give a shit attitude life got so much better yeah i'm fifty yeah everything starting to go yes i'm dating but you know what i think that now when i hear guys are like i don't have a problem with your size

have a problem with your height you guys don't normally have a problem with a woman's height unless they're really short and they they take it as you know the woman's got one on them but things that that people had problems with then don't now and i'm grateful for that because finally i'm in a place where i could just be me and if i wanted to date somebody it could be just because we're both liking each other not for what i could give them or what

have or what i look like it's it's a different it's a different time i'm embracing that

hm

yeah i think that that's how everyone should do it even if you're in your twenties i mean that should be the whole thing

it's harder when your your twenties because men are different in your twenties your your mind set is different i mean ship if i had known in my twenties what i know now i would have been horrible like you give me a little knowledge and i'll run with it you know so i'm maybe it's a good thing i didn't know of my twenties what i could do like i can't in my fifties because i think my my dad would have had a little bit of a problem with

right

hm

i do agree with you though that i think that times have definitely changed um

hm

because of i guess things in society popularity i think kim cardashian has has changed you know obviously thicker girls that they've made it more mainstream and and acceptance um because that was in the eighties that was definitely not the you know thing but i think like you said there's there's acceptance with with everything now

m m

there's always going to be your um preference there's always gonna be a preference for whoever it is so everyone has or like a pre like my preference is shorter girls it's just ad and that's just who i am it doesn't mean i wouldn't dat a tall girl but my preference because i have but my preference is i like little short girls but that's only because i like to feel big

yeah everybody's got a type or something they're ttracted to

hm

because you have hm

you like to throw them around till the truth

i like to throw them around but but but i also like to just feel big because i'm not like super tall i'm six feet i'm above average for you know men in this country but which is funny because i sent you a video that we're gonna talk about all the averages man the average height for a man is like five foot seven

hm

that's insane

yeah that's the average so ou know when you start thinking like i'm if you think that you're not above average you're probably above average on a lot of things you know because you know so i am so that's but i like shorter girls and that's just and i always like shorter girls because then then you can wear high heels and then i'm still taller than them

hm

hm

but yeah what i date anyone of course because i think it's more about who they are in personality than it is anything else because as much as you want that girl to be this doll i also want the person that i have to wake up to every morning that's still the same person inside that you know has no make up on hairs and a rat nests and were sweats most of the day that's that's the reality the reality is the

hm

and that you're dancing with in the kitchen is probably in sweats and socks

not me i get dressed every day

no but i mean i mean for that morning thing like the whole thing of like yes dinner dinner you're probably not in sweats and socks dancing but like a morning where you're just getting coffee together you're you're changing things so yes the body image is way less for me than than anything else sure everyone wants to be with who they find attractive because you know if you if you're not saying that i think there's a tad bit of a fib

yeah i get you

hm

right but there is

well if you're not attracted to somebody you wouldn't be with them to begin with

yeah there has to be some attraction obviously physical attraction but on the flip side i think that there has to be way more you know brain you know connection i want to be able to talk to someone every day and have long conversations you know because that means way more to me i need to be i need to be you know i want to have that

hm hm

connection

yeah

i agree

cranallycranially stimulated

yeah if i'm not being mentally stimulated i mean again i mean there's a lot of pretty women out there that they couldn't say ship if they had a mouthful of it so to me i want someone who sure she's stunning or pretty in my own eyes and maybe she's not pretty to the rest of the world who gives two ships she's pretty in my eyes that's all it matters and but i still want that that stimulations

yeah

hm

so but it's hard because society tells these women we'regardless of age you need to look this way or you're not going to be attractive so it's scary because like you work in the in a business that's close to you know you know hair is one thing but like look guys and women are two totally different beasts i don't have to worry about my make up every morning how my eyelashes look if they

real or not my eyebrows getting done because i have horrible ones so like women have this way higher threshold of i got to put on make up every day i have to put on my false lashes have to get my nails painted and look pretty you know my eyebrows need to be done and so we've put women mostly in this in this way far out reaching thing now the flip set

yeah

i think women put themselves in that situation

yes but i think that that's a societal thing but no different than men who you know i think most men think they have to have a six pack

and they normally carry it under their arm right

yes that's probably true and that's why they have the beer gut to go along with it

but they still got their six back

yeah so like nd i think that that that's part of that look i think no man wants to look in the mirror and not look good but we're changing and you're you're having problems losing weight now and whatever that is and i just think that the stress of life that's what it makes it harder to it makes it harder to get to the gym if you're married and have kids and you're raising people and you're doing this and you're doing that that's why you

hm

stress also makes it where you can't lose weight

oh yeah and in the last two and a half years have been very stressful and it's not getting any better because now the economy shut so i can see how how it's got to be

a pressure on people to you know want to look good and try to look good it's got to be pressing regardless of age but i think forties and fifties because now look at these people who are now single again maybe you went through a divorce and now you're you're out and about and you're dating again so now it's this whole thing of like because that's what bothers me about dating

the whole thing of presentation you know you might present yourself in this nice wrapped package and i'm not talking about either of us but just in society in general and then you're yes you go out to dinner you have a nice shirt on you have some pans on and you're doing this you have a great dress on bablablah but as you start realizing who that person really is you're you're you're gonna fool yourself i've went on a date before

where i was running really late and i was going t meet somebody and i'm like like i'm just going to show up how i am i literally went and shorts in a t shirt

that doesn't surprise me right

and and this girl was kind of shocked she was like oh and i was like what i told you i was she's like oh i didn't know you were like look this is me you want me to i mean i can shine up the fucking outside really nice but this is who i am this is you know this is how i'm going to look seventy five percent of the time

you know and and the tacos were really good

how the dago

no it wasn't bad but it was it was you know it was it was a time out we talked and had cacos and i went my way and she went hers yeah not that it was bad but and you know but the point of that is that you have to look at the reality of who people are long run that's what i'm saying i heard a guy one time telling me he goes you want to go out on you the best first date ever

that was that huh

okay

hm

take the woman camping

where she can't shower or or if she can she you know she's going and putting a quarters in the machine showering coming back hair wet no make up you know you're you're wearing things that you are probably going to either be keeping you really warm or if you if you're camping during the summer time where you're you know trying to keep cool and but you're going to see the

m

oh

you're going to see the real u at that point or the real them yeah

person and i think i was like that's absolutely brilliant because you're gonna see somebody who who has to deal with the reality of not being in their normal circumstances of life you know and to me that's that's the real thing i love when people kind of talk ship and will say like um like someone sends you a self of them and they're like oh i look like ship today ease i don't have make up on like okay like i go you understand that

find you beautiful regardless if you have make up on if you don't someone sent me

m i think if somebody if somebody took me on a first date camping

i think i would like kill it kill it

yeah i mean yeah

because i know how to put a tent up i won't say pitch one because that just leaves things for different you know ah there you go m i don't know i was a girl scout for ten years so i could i could put the tents up i could cook over an open fire i i could deal with i love flip flop so that's just you know i'm cool in that too like i'm i'm fun to take campan that would damn if people did that i'd have

nothing like pitching a tent

all kinds of fun

yeah i mean i just think that it's it's more raw it's a more raw thing

m you have to be more yourself you can't put on airs when you're in camping you just can't

well and you're going to find yourself where you're ou know picking up wood off the ground and getting dirty and and whatever and and i'm not gonna say then that there's no other dates like that but what i'm trying to say is that you're probably going to find the real person because if you can live with if you can because guys where we are

would be a good one

we where visual people i mean we're all visual people but men are very visual and i think to find if you can find that girl super attractive with no make up on and there are some there's there's women who with no absolutely no make up on it all look absolutely stunning and to the point where like they really don't even have to wear it and there's many out there um

hm

and i think part of that is is you're finding that raw people and the same thing the guy who comes out of the tent who's you know hair sideways and rubbing his eyes and you know got to got his sweats on and you know barely conscious and but you know has tooth brush in his mouth and getting ready to do his ship for the day those are those are the qualities that we're looking for so it's more quality

based on it is visual based

i ad someone send me a picture one time self of themselves in a mirror and it was like just woke up had like short on a tank top and she was like are you sure you want this and in my head i was i remember taking back like yeah that's exactly what i want and i think that it probably shocked him like oh it's like yeah you understand that it's it's that i want to be with this person not the the

you know well not the picture that you sent that's you know doctored up on whatever app we're using it's like you know that those are those are the bigger things in life so i think that when it comes to this body image we're all we're all kind of you know

the look of the day

get that

it's it's the gun that's to all of our heads right that you know try to look better try to do this try to do that and yes like for health reasons i'm totally down for that i think it's the greatest thing in the world you know be healthy and if you can and if you can be whatever you feel like in your healthy and you're not dying awesome but also don't kill yourself to be something that is it's just on a magazine cover that i can probably photo shop

my house in about twenty minutes

well and that's the thing most of these pictures of these women that everybody is trying to keep up with everything is photoshoped everything is photoshoped it's not you know that's that's the thing you talk about the filters i freak in hate filters i don't put filters on my on my phone if i took a picture that's the one i'm going to use i'm not going to doctor it up i'm not going to change everything around like it doesn't first of all i don't have time for that i don't give a shit because like i'm not setting myself up for failure you're going to see what i look like and if you like it fine if you

hm

yeah

yeah

i don't give a funk like it is who i am so but i have friends that will always do that i'm like why do you put the filters on it doesn't even look like you i have i have one friend that she's asian and when she puts the filter on that she uses she doesn't even look asian i'm like wait a minute that doesn't even look like you any more i like you i like your look not this one that you're putting on all your social media like come on

yes

yeah hm

b b u

i agree i mean i'll play devil's advocate because i'm a photographer and i've shot lots of girls and and i've doctored a lot of pictures but i will say this is that i don't doctor bodies so for me you know doctoring makeup is different that's really all i do if i don't change people's

m hm

m

physical um parts so i don't mess with people's eyes um no is none of that stuff and i can do all that i can stretch your neck i can do all kinds of crazy ship i usually only soften people up so basically make them look like they had really really really good makeup and and i think that that's the fair thing to do and i've still had people go like oh that doesn't look like me and i'm like sure it does you just don't see your cell

okay

like this i shot a friend of mine's wife one time um and i had a make up girl there for her and so when you take pictures in front of big strode lights you have to do heavy heavy heavy makeup like to the point where like she was like i look like a prostitute literally those were the words that came out of her mouth and i was like yes you would if you were walking

hm

hm

yeah

around all night and make up like that i go

but when you take pictures you lose forty per cent of the color

yeah these lights are going to blow you're make up out so i'm going to have so i took a bunch of you know i was messing with my lights and bringing light down babablah and i was showing her some of the the pictures on my camera and even she was like oh yeah that doesn't look bad and i was like no because these lights are they're just bright and there and this is what they're going to do and i think that so in today society where you're right everything is on a filter nd went and

hm

hm

can you those filters manipulate more than just your skin they manipulate everything m

so yeah there is something to that someone sent me a self a self the other day and i even said something to her was like man do you ever sucking age and she was like she's like yeah age hold on and then she sent me one without the filter on and then i went damn do you ever age and she was like and i go i go sure your skin is softer but i go your physical features haven't changed like you still look you know the same you did five years

yeah

go like you know there's a lot to that but the society standards is horrible and i think that we're not helping it any you know as we get older that we're trying to keep up with this societal thing of like you have to be a size whatever i don't even know what the i know the average i think right now in the united states is like a fourteen which i have for women i have no clue what that is

for women

you know from from the standpoint of like to um equated to other people but i'm going to assume that like kam card ashlins probably like four probably six

i don't know i can't stand the cardashians so i don't even look at them like when i see him it's it's an instant turn away like i feel like they make me dumb like they are just people that suck the intelligence out of your brain if you even look at them so i try to not

yeah

well because everything is just about beauty there's nothing to them even though i think that i also think there i mean they're probably really smart from a business standpoint oh man

i have no idea i don't watch it

not really well somebody's got their businesses handled but i wouldn't say they're smart at all

yeah well you know street smart and books smart are two totally different things for sure

but now they're known for their look i mean that's part of it and i don't even know how old she is i don't think she's forty yet i don't think any of them are in their forties there in their thirties i couldn't either but so how do you think that we fix this that do we do we look at the body image over forty and just kind of go okay this is the reality or or do we keep pushing this

they're known for their smart

uh uh

i couldn't tell you

narrative of you have to look a certain way until you dropped dead

look i think you always have to put your best foot forward even during covid i did my hair and i make up and got dressed every day and i was going through a divorce in my x was locked in his office and i was in the the other part of the house and i wasn't seeing anybody there was nothing to do or see and yet i still did that because that's that's who i am i don't i'm not one to do the whole sweats and not brush there

all day i have friends that do that i think it's disgusting that's not me i get up get dressed i believe that you need to be prepared for your day no matter what it brings so put your clothes on um i just feel comfortable doing that but i think that that as society we need to start working on our insides because our outsides aren't so bad it's our insides that are just crap these days and that's where i think that

we're we're doing ourselves a disservice because if we're if we're happy or better people we're not judging what other people are looking like we're being happy and we're doing our own thing and it allows for everybody to be happy and do their own thing too

i'll agree with that and i think from the standpoint of the man's part you know as we get older you know

the body image thing is it's going to be prevalent regardless that society has fixed that in our heads that's why older men still look at twenty five year old girls

because it's you're looking at just the outside you're just lokingi'it's a shell

hm

well that's what your eyes are for your eyes are to look it doesn't necessarily mean that that's what you want to take home and have babies with like unless you're younger that maybe or if you're somebody trying to prove something i get that but let's face it i don't want to hang out with a twenty year old i don't want to don't want to go home with a twenty year old have nothing in common with a twenty year old i don't even like them so

it's true yeah yeah there's there's no nothing in common

no but i'll look at him all day i'm fine with that

yeah that's that's also the thing too is that like i think we have to understand that looking and what you want maybe two totally different things you know it's like art work right you know some we all look at different art work different ways it's an it's no different i can look at a twenty year old fit model and go yeah good on the eyes but

hm

and also look right back at the person that i'm with who may not look like her and go you're way more stunning than her because do have a good outside but your inside is way better so there's a balance to that and i think that we need to look at the reality of a body image over forty is that if you're if you're looking for just that you're going to fail every time every time because

yeah

you know go ahead i'm sorry

i would just say because there's there's no winning because at some point unless you you're just going to trade in

everyone's going to be a fucking car you're goin t get to a certain time and just go okay you're you've now you now look like this way i'm gonna trade you in for another four year old or another four year you know no matter how old you get there's no winning you're going to lose every time

hm

you know betty white was always on social media and everybody loved her but everybody loved her because of her attitude and her sense of humor and the way she carried herself and she was what ninety nine when she died and she was all over everybody's social media and i thought to myself that's the ticket right there like she she she looked ninety nine she did she did her best she did her hair up she put on her make up she did what she needed to do but

hm

h of course

that inner light that she had is what everybody was attracted to and i've always told my friends i'm like check it out if betty white could do it all of us could do like just don't be a bitch and and try to find the happy in everything and really be okay with yourself and where you're at and then i think people are attracted to you without fail

hm yeah without the body image so it's like i said it's long term it's irrelevant beauty is going to fade period i want the person that again i can talk to daily

hm

mhm

physical beauty fades beauty doesn't fade yeah yeah

yeah physical beauty fades well physical beauty fades obviously your inter beauty can i mean your inter beauty can fade but generally who you are is who you are mostly in your forties i think in your forties on forties you're pretty much who you are it's you're you're either you're going to change for someone they're not going to change you

hm

that's

i don't think you change for anybody really you have to if anything it's for yourself it's for whatever you're going through internally

no but i think no well i disagree with that i think people will change for people because there's a reason to change

like and and i mean it could be small change it doesn't have to be this life altering change but but i think you'll find yourself more apt to do things that you might not have done for other people because that person makes you want to do them you see what i mean like i don't think that i mean maybe changing but i don't think you can change another human being we are who we are so and there's and as a man

hm

hm

no

fix her and that can be that can be a problem so you know trying to fix people is not a good thing cause it's not it's never going to work and and it's no different than trying to drive somebody to change their outside features you can't drive someone to do that you can't be standing next to somebody every single day going you need to be skinny you need to be skinny you need to be skinny your

well they can but if they're standing around somebody like me they're going o get get fucked out of me so

hm

no that's that's true and don't get me wrong like i think there's a lot to that but yes there's people who i'm sure do that to this day and we'll do that until the end of time because but those are generally narcisistic manipulating people that are no well but i think the broader scope of the people you know we got to use the bell curve it can't always be just out

mhm

yeah i don't really deal with somebody like that

s because you are you're you're a totally different human being than most people but i think that there's a lot of people out there that might have people pushing them to have this body image like you have to be this way and it's like for one get out of those relationships but secondly you know remember that your outer beauty to someone else is probably ten fold

hm

and you just don't know it

yeah i look i get that because i have friends that i look at them and i'm like gosh you're just so pretty and they don't get it they don't see it they don't want to see it i literally had to say look don't tell me i'm liar again don't tell me that i don't want to hear just shut the fuck up and say thank you and even if you don't believe it just say thank you i don't want to hear your negative crap on what i just said it wasn't even a compliment i was just telling you what i've seen so shut up

and and just take receive it just take it in like we take in all the negative that people say we get pissed off when people hank at us we take that offensively like you could at least stand there and when somebody says wow you really look good today just say thank you and shut up like i don't want to hear you cut yourself apart i don't have time for that i regret the fact that even said you looked cute today like don't and and

right

well

guys you guys have to put up with that all the time and i don't know how all of you aren't as as men just saying shut up because it's it's annoying

um yeah i'm sure that there's a lot of people in their own heads that just like funk again but you know and again i think sadly a lot of this this body image um is you know trauma from the past people one bad boy friend can fuck you up for a long long time which is sad

mhm

well when you get rid of that boy friend get rid of all that ship that he brought with him to because because in all honesty that's all it is people especially in relationships people will say things to keep you in a certain light or keep you in a certain way so that it makes them comfortable so that it makes it easy for them to do what they're doing and so if you're not comfortable you shouldn't be listening to that crab i don't know i've always been very

yeah i mean let's hope

hm

to it my the boy friends that i've been with although not perfect the they never like put that crap on me because i don't know we were too busy having fun i was like i don't i don't want to deal with this if you don't like the way i look get out of my car and i'm gonna go and do what i'm going to do and you can go home and hate on me because i i need to live this is who i am and this is what we're going o do and either get in and let's go or stay home and suck yourself because

right

i can't change who i am like i really can't i've worked my whole life trying to be better do better be skinnier be prettier we all do women spend too much time doing that ship plus i'm in the beauty industry yeah every hair color every make up every whatever and you know what made me the most attractive was not giving a ship about all that

well there you have it i think we should leave it on that

we do that a lot

we do sometimes you say something very prolific and i think that that's that's how we should end that just just uh yeah do your thing and and trust me and and trust me to all the people out there both men and women there is someone for you don't don't take that body image bullshit

thank you

i am

i agree there's more than someone there's a ship ton of people don't even worry about it

hm that is correct well all right and remember hit our social medias the facebook the instagram the twitter and listen to us on all those favorite spots apple google spotify amazon and so so many more and uh yeah this is an opinion show so don't get it twisted keep coming back every wednesdays and we'll be right here with bells on

m

yes

or cats on our chairs one of the two cats on the chairs all right darling we'll see you talk to lita

cats on the chair

have a good week talk to later