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In this episode of A Changed Mind, our host, David Bayer, explores the transformative power of letting go of problems by focusing on the present moment. David shares the challenges of remodeling his home in Puerto Rico during the pandemic, illustrating how we often carry our problems into moments where they don't exist.

He emphasizes that our suffering is self-induced through obsessive thinking and offers insights into how shifting our mindset can lead to real, lasting change. This episode provides practical wisdom and tools to help listeners cultivate peace, security, and solutions in their lives.

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Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality

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What We Explored This Episode

01:37 Transforming Problems Through Mindset

06:07 The Power of Present Moment Awareness

22:23 Advice or Words of Caution

Memorable Quotes

"The suffering that we experience around the problem is predominantly self-induced. It's due to the obsessive thinking that we have about our problem."

"The problem is that we carry our problems with us, even when the problem is not actually occurring in our experience."

"Right now, there's no problem going on in your life. Literally, right here, right now, there is not a problem present in your life."

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It might feel like it's around now, right? It might say, well, but Dave, I can look into my bank account and I don't have as much money as I would like, and I would say, yes, but in this moment, that's not a problem. You'd say, but Dave, my body's in physical pain. I've been experiencing it for a long time. See, I understand in this moment that's just an experience. But this health challenge that you're having, it's not like it's right here, right now. The relationship challenge isn't right here right now. But what we can do through the utilization of our minds is to bring a problem into the present moment that is not inherently in the present moment. Welcome to a changed mind, a journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth, and relationships. To open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If youve been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity, and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside youre in the right place. Welcome to a changed mind. Hey, it's David. Welcome to a changed mind. A sanctuary for your spirit. A place where each and every episode I remind you of the certainty of the goodness of the future. I am your friend, your host, your guide, David Bayer.

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how to let go of your problems. And it is in the letting go of your problems that no matter what problem it is, fear of financial insecurity, a chronic health challenge, a business challenge, a relationship challenge, you allow the problem to actually transform. And what I'm going to be sharing with you is extraordinarily counterintuitive. But when you hear what I have to share with you, it's going to make perfect sense. And if you're listening to this episode today, there's a reason. There is something that you've been asking to change in your life. And in response to that question, the universe has delivered this episode. So let's get into it together. I'm going to start by sharing a story. You know, the studio that I'm broadcasting from is in my home in Puerto Rico. The home that I live in was literally a vision that I once had. A friend of mine went into my office and pointed at my vision board and said, hey, you've got a picture of your home on your vision board. And it literally is a vision that has materialized in my life. But the process of moving into this home and making it my vision was not easy. It was an 18 month remodel and construction project, not easy to do in the midst of the pandemic. Living on an island where everything is island time. And to make things more complicated, the home was supposed to be done in September of the year that it was supposed to be finished, and we were now moving into November. The home was still far from complete, and we needed to move back into the home because we've established residency here in Puerto Rico. And I had a three month old baby, my first son. So we moved back into this home that is a construction, construction zone. 25 puerto rican men jackhammering, laying concrete, putting up scaffolding, really, really noisy. And my wife, my mother in law and I are living in the mother in law apartment. And it is just a whirlwind of chaos around us each and every day as we're trying to raise our first child at three months old. And anybody who's a parent can empathize with that. It's like this thing did not come with a manual, and nobody prepared us for how difficult it would be. We're trying to run this business, you know, with. It's a coaching company with thousands of clients and an entire team of 20 team members. And it was super, super challenging. And my wife and I got into this kind of focus on the problem, in fact, feeling like the construction project was never going to end. Each week we were given a new timeline. Each week they missed the timeline. It was costing us more money. We were investing far more than we had expected, and life felt very, very difficult. And I understand that by someone else's challenges, these might seem like really good problems to have, but you know what? They were my problems. And one of the things my mentor taught me is, you know, don't talk down to your problems, because other people may have bigger problems. The feelings you're having are really real, and the problems you have are really your problems. And these were my problems. And so we were at dinner one night complaining about the construction workers, how they had lined up a wall the wrong way, how they hadn't done things according to the timeline. And I had this revelation, and this revelation has really transformed the way that I deal with problems. Because the truth is, is that the problems are going to show up. But the suffering that we experience around the problem is predominantly self induced. And it's due to the obsessive thinking that we have about our problem. And I realized in the midst of this dinner that we were having with my wife and my newborn son and my mother in law, no construction workers around us, while we were complaining about the construction workers. And what this one did, and this one said, and this one didn't do, was that we were bringing our problems into an environment where our problems didn't exist. There were no construction workers in my kitchen while I was having dinner with my family. Nothing that I was complaining about or we were complaining about was actually going on. And yet we were disrupting the peace and serenity of this moment that was available to us to enjoy. And so what I realized in that moment was that experiencing problems or challenges or circumstances or situations that we don't like, no matter how much they seem like they are someone else's fault, or no matter how serious they may seem or how long they've been going on, is not the problem. The problem is that we carry our problems with us, even when the problem is not actually occurring in our experience. I want you to think about something that you're experiencing right now.

For many, many people, it's like a fear of financial insecurity. I'm not going to have enough. Maybe it's a health challenge, and you're wanting to solve your health challenge, and you're experiencing some chronic health condition. Maybe it's friction that you're having in your relationship with your significant other. And you've been questioning, like, do I stay in this relationship? Is this ever going to change? Maybe I'll just wait till the kids are old enough, and then we'll get divorced. Think about your problem right now. Realize that while you're listening to this episode, your problem does not exist. It's not here. It's not now. It might feel like it's around now, right? It might say, well, but, Dave, I can look into my bank account, and I don't have as much money as I would like. And I would say, yes, but in this moment, that's not a problem. You'd say, but Dave, my body's in physical pain. I've been experiencing it for a long time. See, I understand in this moment, that's just an experience. But this health challenge that you're having, it's not like it's right here, right now. The relationship challenge isn't right here. Right now. But what we can do through the utilization of our minds is to bring a problem into the present moment that is not inherently in the present moment. Are you picking up what I'm laying down now? When we do this, the problem is that we are perpetuating the problem. That's the only problem. The problem is by bringing this experience that we don't want into a present moment where it doesn't exist because of the way the human being operating system works, we're actually extending the life cycle of this problem. Well, how do we do that? How are we doing that? Well, if you think about it, number one, all that exists is the present moment. So if in this present moment, I'm choosing to experience financial insecurity because there's not as much money in my bank account as I would like, even though there's no money around me, there's no bank account around me, there's no debt collectors banging on my door, there's no thing I'm needing to spend money on right now that I don't have the money for. Even though that's not taking place right now, I can still experience financial insecurity by bringing some fear of the future or some aspect of the past into my present moment and filling this space right here, right now, this space of infinite possibility, where I could be thinking about anything, I could be saying anything, I could be doing anything. And I am simulating financial insecurity right here. I'm simulating the never ending of my chronic health condition right here. I'm simulating the never resolving of my relationship or my business challenge right here. And all we have is the present moment. So if you get really, really good at practicing this in the present moment, I don't recommend you continue to practice it because it's not serving you. But if you continue to engage in the habit of bringing your problem into the moment even though it's not here, and you do it this moment and next moment and next moment and next moment, because all there is is the present moment, you start to look at all of those present moments in a continuum and guess what? You get your life. And then we're shocked. Why? The problem never goes away. Well, the problem never goes away because there are moments when it is here, but there are moments when it's not here. And we're feeling those moments as if it were here. And so then that becomes our reality. That's the first way that bringing the problem into the present moment is really the only problem. The second way that we perpetuate the problem, by continuing and habitually bringing it into a present moment where it doesn't inherently exist, is that our brain is a goal achieving machine. And so whatever we're thinking about on a moment by moment basis, and I've talked about this in a bunch of other episodes, we call it the five primary drivers, and it's the core of the frameworks and the courses that we teach. This is one of the fundamental understandings of how what you think becomes your reality. Whatever you're choosing to think in this present moment, you then experience that thought as an emotion. So when I was bringing the construction workers into the dinner with me, where there were not 25 puerto rican construction workers crammed into my kitchen, right, it was just me, my wife, my mother in law, and my son, and a nice home cooked meal. Whatever we choose to think about in the present moment, we experience as an emotion. And so I was feeling stressed, angry, resentful. Your emotions, which are determined by what you think, determine what you do. So the next morning, as I've been spending the whole evening arguing with the construction workers in my head, do you think I'm going to show up resourceful and solution oriented and motivating to the construction team? No, of course not. I show up pissed off, as if I've been arguing with them all night. So your thoughts determine your emotions, your emotions determine your actions, and your actions determine your results. So if I show up with that type of energy, with that type of tone in my voice, with those kinds of words that come out of my mouth, do you think that the construction team is going to want to be motivated or solution oriented too? No, they're not. They do another shitty job because I'm showing up with a shitty attitude as a result of bringing my problem into the present moment when it's not actually there, and filling this space of potential with the same old problem present moment after present, moment after present, moment after present moment. So your brain is a goal achieving machine. So if you're thinking about how you don't have enough money, even though the financial insecurity is not present in this moment, while you're driving to work, or you're, you know, watching a training on Facebook to grow your business, or you're up in the morning working on your morning routine, or having a cup of coffee, if you're bringing these thoughts into that moment of possibility, you're going to produce those results. Here's another reason why. The real problem is that we're bringing our problem into these moments where they don't exist. We talk about how there's only two states of being, powerful states and primal states. You're either in a powerful state or a primal state. You're either in states of being that feel good, like states of being, like joy, curiosity, compassion, excitement, empathy, calm, peace. Those are powerful states of being. It's when your parasympathetic nervous system is active or you're in a primal state. A primal state is a state like boredom, anger, jealousy, fear, indecision, procrastination, anxiety, overwhelm, states of being that don't feel good. So in any given moment, you're either in a powerful state or a primal state. What determines what state of being you're in? The quality of the thoughts that you're having. Your thinking is the only thing that moves you into a powerful state or a primal state. In a primal state, you're in fight or flight, and so you don't have the resources to actually solve the problem that you're experiencing. And so when we're bringing these problems into the present moment, we're self inducing the sympathetic expression of the nervous system. We're moving into fight or flight. And from that place, we can't have new ideas, inspiration, intuition. Even more than that, we're vibrating at a resonance of the problem. And so we start creating coincidences and synchronicities that perpetuate the problem. All of this is due to the fact that we are allowing a problem that doesn't actually exist in the present moment to penetrate our present moment. Just note that this is what we do. It is the habit. Right now, there's no problem going on in your life. Literally, right here, right now, there is not a problem present in your life. Can you see that? Now, 3 hours from now, you might be in an argument, and the problem presents itself. Five days from now, your mortgage may be due and doesn't seem like you have enough money in your bank account, and the problem truly presents itself. But the moments where the problem is truly presenting itself are few and far between. But we live as if the problem is with us all the time. And so, in the beginning of this episode, I said, hey, in this episode, I'm going to talk about how to overcome your problem. And the way to overcome the problem is to realize it's not here right now and to let go of that habit. Notice that? Okay, right here, right now, I'm not experiencing the problem. You can choose to let it go in that awareness, be present to this present moment. Here I am sitting in my podcast studio. All the problems that I think I have aren't right here right now. And you take a break from your problem. This isn't some sort of like, complicated, you know, transformational tool that's required to heal your childhood trauma or your limiting beliefs. It's just a distinction and awareness that we're carrying our problems around with us all the time. And that is the primary reason why our problems don't go away. It just makes perfect sense. There was a story of two monks. They're traveling across the country in whatever country they are. India, China, wherever. And the monks in this particular monastic order are not allowed to touch women. One of the rules, I would never survive in that order. Not allowed to touch women. Right. And they're traveling across the country and they come upon a small stream. And there's a woman desperate to get across the stream. She's not able to do it on her own. And she says, oh, will you please help me? I have to get home to my family tonight. I gotta cross this stream. Without hesitation, one of the monks grabs the woman, picks her up, puts her on top of his back, carries her across the stream, drops her on the other side. She thanks him and she goes on with her journey. The other monk, monk number two, cannot believe that monk number one just violated the primary doctrine of the order and touched another woman. Not only touched her, but picked her up and carried her across the stream. But he doesn't say anything. They travel for another day and another night. It's really bothering Monk number two. He doesn't say anything. They travel for another day and another night. Finally, they're setting up for camp for the second night. And monk number two says, I can't believe you did that. And monk number one says, did what? He said you violated the order and you picked up that woman and you carried her across the stream. And monk number one laughs. And he says, I picked up that woman and carried her across the stream. You've been carrying her for the last two days. Don't you think it's time to put her down? This is what we do with our problems. We carry them with us. And then we wonder why they don't go away. They don't go away because we perpetuate the problem by constantly allowing the mind to bring it into a present moment where it doesn't exist. And then in that present moment, where we could be, number one, living more joyfully in our life. Number two, making ourselves available for new thoughts, new ideas, to be solution oriented to perhaps overcoming the challenge that's facing us. We fill that space with the problem, rather than allowing that space to be filled with the solution. And not only that, as we continue to think these thoughts and resonate at this frequency, that frequency or that energy is picked up by everybody else in their unconscious minds. So the construction workers just keep doing the same problems over and over again. The miraculous thing, that's what we call coincidence and synchronicities. By the way, the miraculous thing was that when I pointed this out to my wife and my mother in law, we decided to play a new game. And the game was, we're not going to carry the construction workers with us anywhere. So when the construction workers are in our presence and the project is in our presence, we will work with the material as it shows up. But once we're done with it being in our third dimensional space, we're not going to bring it into our present moment when it's not there. And lo and behold, within about a week of this practice, everything seemed to change. All of a sudden, the quality of the work of the construction workers seemed to improve. All of a sudden, the foreman was more amenable. All of a sudden, things started coming in under budget. All of a sudden, they started hitting their timelines. So it's important to understand that you have a tremendous influence over the circumstances and situations in your life, in particular, where you're feeling helpless and out of control. But the influence you have is not to become more controlling and to start to pressure the situation or to desperately try to find a solution to your problem. The control that you have is whether or not you choose to bring your problems along with you into the 99% of your day that they don't occur, but where for most of us, we're filling that free time, that free space, that new possibility with the same old problem. Again, we provide so many different tools on this channel for transforming your limiting beliefs, or managing overwhelm, or hacking time, or transforming your relationships. This one really is not a three or four or five step process. This one is just hear what I'm suggesting to you. And if it makes sense, try it. And you try it by noticing that, wow, I'm completely engaged right now in a problem in my head, and I'm experiencing as if it's going on right here, right now, and yet it's not here. And have a simple mantra, if you want, right now, I let it go, or it's not here, or that's not real. I really like that's not real. You know, it's like reminding your mind that, hey, I'm still in control. That's not real. Right here, right now, that's not real. And what's nice about this is it doesn't mean that the problem still doesn't exist somewhere in the realms of your life or in the sphere of your existential reality. This is not some sort of Pollyanna wishful thinking. You know, I'm a millionaire, even though I've got $500 in my bank account. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, and we can continue to use this present moment as an example. The $500 you have in your bank account has nothing to do with right here, right now. Right here, right now. You're safe. You're sound. You're alive, you're breathing. You have everything that you need in this very moment, more so you're living in abundance because you're somebody who's able to actually have a digital device and the time and energy and the wherewithal to listen to a conversation like this. You're fine, right? I'm fine. I'm safe. And if we can live more in fill more of those present moments that we have with safety and security and solution and calm and peace, well, guess what? Our life becomes safety and security and solution and calm and peace. And so what we see is the problem will become transformed, oftentimes on its own, sometimes through thoughts and ideas and actions that we take. But those thoughts and ideas and actions that are going to transform the problem are going to come from a powerful state of being. And you can be in a powerful state of being when you're not filling the present moment with this problem that doesn't actually exist right here, right now. So really, you know, this is an episode that's worth listening twice to. Really let it sink in and just play the game, you know, today or tomorrow. In really putting as a high priority, I'm going to notice when I move into a primal state, that means I'm experiencing a problem. That's what the primal state means. It means I'm experiencing some form of fear. I'm entangled with some form of thinking, a limiting belief, something that's not real. My nervous system is reacting and responding by moving into the stress or this overwhelm. It's a signal to you that there's something dysfunctional going on with you right now. And the dysfunction is that you're bringing an idea or a problem into this moment where it doesn't exist and you're indulging in it. And so that's the practice. Just notice that that's what you're doing. And then hey, it's not real. I let it go. That's not true. Again, it may be something that needs to be resolved, but this is the mechanism for resolving it. You worrying about it right now is not the way that you solve the problem. And the mind will try to convince you of that. Well let's just keep thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. We'll think our way to a solution. But if you look at it, this rumination has never solved the problem, right? This is what worry is. All it's done is perpetuated and it perpetuates it through these mechanisms that I explained to you. The brain is a goal achieving machine. So what you think about, you create, right? It's moving you into a primal state so you're not in a resourceful place or a solution oriented place.

Every present moment is the only present moment is the only thing. And those are going to stack up over time. So if you keep bringing the problem to the present moment, this, what would I call it like livestream of your life of present moment simply stays that and becomes that. The way we break that is to realize that the problem is not here, right? Is not right here right now. So hope you love the episode. I hope its helpful for you. Its different awareness and approach but its highly effective right? So many of the conversations that we get on this episode are what I would call root cause or first principle. Im not telling you to go jump up and down and change your state. Im not telling you to go meditate and activate your pineal gland. Im not. All of those things are fine. I found them not to be the most effective kind of first level tools that I apply to my own personal growth. The tools that I find most effective are really reconnecting with what is and reconnecting with reality and noticing when my mind is playing these tricks on me and see the trick for what it is, a trick. And in that I find great peace and great liberation. So I hope you loved this episode. If you did, do me a favor. Leave me a comment. Ask a question if you're watching on YouTube, if you're on the audio platforms, would you please leave me a review? If you love this episode or you've been a repeat listener, that's the way I can get this work out to more people on any platforms. Smash that Bell icon on YouTube because it's the only way you really get notifications these days and share the message. If you feel like there's somebody that you want to share this with. So I love you very much and I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.davidbear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week, I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free mindhack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, and the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people established a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site, and I will see you in the next episode.