Josh Waitzkin brings the proof-of-work when it comes to deep learning and flow. His techniques about learning to learn can be applied anything. In this episode, Tali and Scott apply them to homeschooling.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Aleia Free Market Kids Full
Hi everyone.
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In today's podcast, Talia and
I are going to review a helpful
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resource for homeschooling parents.
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And this is a book that is also very
appropriate for your kids curriculum.
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So really quick, before we jump
in, I want to take just a moment to
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explain some context of what we're,
of what we're going to talk about.
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It is based on a method of study that
involves biographies and autobiographies.
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So you might've heard biographical
research or life history, and it
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is exactly what it sounds like.
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So the approach is essentially
doing a, a study of someone's
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life, their experiences, and.
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And then from that, you learn
about the history or the culture
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or social context, other things
that help shape those experiences.
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And it's very, very effective.
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Especially with, um,
especially with audible books.
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You can use this with very young children.
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I say this as an engineer who
did not enjoy or appreciate
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history while I was in school.
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An example I have of, to show how
effective it is, is a book that I really
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enjoy listening to called Team of Rivals.
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This is about Lincoln.
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And it was written by a
woman named Doris Goodwin.
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And it basically explains how he came
to be president and his relationship
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with his cabinet, which was his rivals.
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Hugely interesting, even as an engineer.
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So today's podcast, we're going to
use this kind of technique in the
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book where we're reviewing is the
art of learning by Josh Waiskin.
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I hope you enjoy.
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And with that, let's jump in.
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Tali: You have to be able to get past
that the opening move and have enough
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endurance and mental discipline to
get through to the end of the game.
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And that's the comparison he
had between , the high time
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preference and low time preference.
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Scott: he applies the same type
of methodology that he did in
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chess matches into martial arts.
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You could apply that to anything.
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You could apply that to yourself and
becoming the best homeschooling parent.
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Ever.
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,
Tali: The highest level athletes all learn this from their performance
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coaches, but for whatever reason it
doesn't trickle down to common education
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Scott: you're not going to go
through life and not have setbacks.
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So your, your choice is
what do you do about it?
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Right.
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, if you read this book and you're
inspired, maybe you can learn to invest
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in loss and use it to make you yourself
better, use it to advance your goals.
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Tali: For the homeschoolers out there,
I would encourage you to use living
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books like this as much as possible
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Scott: Welcome Bitcoin homeschoolers.
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Today, Talia and I are going to
look at a resource that you might
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not expect would be helpful.
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But as you, uh, as we go through this
conversation, I think that you'll
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find, , there's, there's something
in here for parents and there's
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something in here for, for kids.
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Specifically, we're talking
about the book called The Art
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of Learning by Josh Waitzkin.
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Josh Waitzkin is best known as the
person that the movie, Seeking,
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uh, Bobby Fischer was based on.
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Tali: In search of Bobby Fisher.
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From a
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Scott: Alright, thank you.
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In search of Bobby Fisher.
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So, from a homeschooling standpoint,
the first thing that I want to say is to
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be open minded about how we teach kids
and not just give them a list of facts.
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The idea of using biographies, or in
this case, maybe, An autobiography.
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This is a way of helping someone really
understand the context of what some of
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these historic figures have gone through.
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And in this case, this
person is still alive.
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So I guess maybe not historic, but
it's a lot more personal than a list
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of names and dates, and especially
if you listen to it on audible, you
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can actually hear it in their own.
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On voice for, the reason Josh Waiskin
kind of hit, he had a few things
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for, for me personally, he talks
about a lot of concepts that we as
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parents can use to be better teachers.
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And he also has a very
interesting story, so you can
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either take away pieces of this.
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And how you teach or maybe
for the older kids, they can
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actually read it themselves.
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So depending on the age of your,
your students, they can be, they
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can take different things from it.
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So, all right, tell me, do you,
we, I have a list of things
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to, deep dive on this thing.
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Is there one particular area that stood
out that you'd like to start with?
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Tali: Well, in referencing what you said
about reading autobiography as a way
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of kids learning, it's, it's basically
if you, if you know the Charlotte Mason
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method, it's basically equivalent to what
they're saying about learning through
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living books because authors who write.
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On a subject that they're absolutely
passionate about have a tone
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and a voice that comes through
that is absolutely absent for
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Things that you would read in a textbook
that's by a subject that's written
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by what they would quote unquote call
experts, but The emotionally it's flat.
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And as human beings, we relate to
things emotionally first and foremost.
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And so learning, reading a living
book written by an author who's
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passionate about the subjects is
absolutely the best way to get your kids
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interested in the information itself.
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So
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for people who are not interested in
chess or in Tai Chi and the martial arts
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aspect of Tai Chi can still learn a lot
about his learning process because you do
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get emotionally sucked into his stories.
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Scott: Yeah, his stories, they're
about what he went through.
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Learning the stresses, people who
cheated on him, how he dealt with
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that when he got to martial arts,
he basically went from literally
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knowing nothing to, to world champion.
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And he's a deep, deep thinker.
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So he, he thinks about the longterm,
he doesn't call it low time preference,
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but he definitely thinks about the
longterm and he's definitely anti
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fragile he'll, he'll hit a setback.
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Someone will do something and it'll upset
him or he'll lose or whatever it is.
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And he will journal and he will say,
what, what state was I in at this time?
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And then he'll go back and
then he'll, he'll study more.
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He, he talked about the number of
times that he would review his games
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and what he was feeling on them.
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The number of times that he would
review his tapes from the martial arts.
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So I would, I just want to
get this out, out in front.
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To me, he exhibits the qualities of
someone who can really get into flow.
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And.
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There's, uh, my understanding of,
of, of flow that you, you need
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to have clear specific goals.
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And he definitely did that.
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He had these long term objectives.
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You need immediate feedback.
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And this is where he just excels
and where the, there's a ton to
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learn in from the art of learning.
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And then the challenge has to be something
that's outside your current skill level.
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And so he just, he applies the same
type of methodology that he did in
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chess matches into martial arts.
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And to me, that means you
could apply that to anything.
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You could apply that to yourself and
becoming the best homeschooling parent.
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Ever.
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You could apply that to teaching your
kids on how they can get into flow,
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how they can deal with setbacks,
how they can deal with stress,
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how they can, how they can learn.
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And you can apply it to your career.
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You could apply it to anywhere.
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It's, it's, it's, uh, I think it's
really a good, the, the name of
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the book being art of learning.
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Really captures it and he just proves
it with two very different areas and he
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makes a lot of analogies between them.
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And and then tolly you you hit on this
he uses a lot of stories in this thing So
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this is something you can actually listen
to it's not dry at all Some of the stories
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will really pull you in all right.
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Tali: Me add something.
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Let me add something.
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So, he draws in an actually,
he doesn't draw an analogy.
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Um, he states in the book that this
is referencing his chess games.
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He said that who he was as a person was
absolutely reflected in the way he played.
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And so you can't really separate the two.
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And I've heard people say that your
success can never, you can never out
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success the strength of a character.
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And in that way, if we.
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Allow our kids to listen to this, or even
if we listen to it and then relate the
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lessons to our kids, we can stress the
importance of not the accomplishments
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or the outcome of your efforts, but
rather your personal growth through
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the journey, because he does reference
that over and over again as he's going
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through the difference, the struggle,
the struggle of losing and then having to
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maintain his composure when he was under
pressure and how he was under pressure.
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Overcame those mental, growth milestones.
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Scott: Maybe we can tell a couple
of the stories that he, what he did.
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So the, the ability from a game
theory standpoint of being able
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to put yourself in somebody else's
shoes and seeing it from their
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perspective, he's a master at this.
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He, he, he would, regardless of
whether it was a chess opponent
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or a martial arts opponent.
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He really did.
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He really went deep on what they,
what they were thinking, how they
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reacted, not just like their, their
strategies or their techniques.
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He would go really deep.
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And then he would use this,
this, this adaptive learning.
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He was getting constant feedback and,
and it wasn't just like, Hey, good job or
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bad job or whatever, you know, whatever
after a chess match or another match.
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This was a matter of saying, well,
if you tell someone feedback or
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you give someone feedback right
after they've had a challenge,
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they're not ready to receive that.
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So even knowing when and how to
communicate that, that feedback.
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He would, he would even adapt, he would
continue to adapt not just his techniques,
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but he would continue to adapt his
learning techniques on how he would do it.
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And the idea of these constant feedback
loops is really, really interesting.
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And you start off with, he talked about
making smaller and smaller circles.
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You'd, you can start out with,
with whatever it is, you've
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got to learn the basic things.
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And then once you're, once you've mastered
those, and you can learn the next level
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of the basic things and the next level,
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Tali: The
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Scott: The thing that sticks out to
me is In today's society, there's
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always somebody to blame, right?
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No one wants to, it's not
like we teach responsibility.
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At West Point, we'd say, one of your
responses was, it was like, yes, sir.
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No, sir.
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You could say, , sir, may I ask
a question, but it was no excuse.
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He didn't, it was one of your responses
was not, , someone else hurt me.
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Or someone else cheated and
he gave specific examples.
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So there was a, an individual
when he was going through his,
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his chess career, who would
intentionally distract his opponents.
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And he would get up and talk to you.
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It's like he was speaking another
language, Russian or whatever it
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was, or he would tap or he would
do, he was doing things that
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were clearly against the rules.
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And one reaction could
be to go and complain.
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You go to the judges and you say, this
guy, this, this kid is doing stuff.
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That's, that's really bad.
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And he's, they're doing it on purpose.
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So one of the things that Weitzkin
did is he went back and he figured out
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Tali: So,
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Scott: how basically to, to use that
to his own advantage on, he changed his
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techniques playing with that individual.
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So first of all, what is the trigger?
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And he could recognize the trigger.
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Okay.
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He's using the technique.
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And then he had practiced
how to respond to that.
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And basically.
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He changed the game on this person.
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Yes, it wasn't and it wasn't just
a matter of going say hey someone
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else You need to go police this guy.
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He did the same thing in martial arts.
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He was talking about the the championship
It was like every two years it was in
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Taiwan and he got into what the culture
was like and he was going against a
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very popular local champion and There
were blatant, blatant, blatant things,
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times when the judges would do things
that favored the opponent, like they,
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the opponent knew changes to the rules
ahead of time, but they wouldn't tell
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the foreigners until the last minute.
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And then they would try to,
they wouldn't give them food.
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And then when they wouldn't eat, then
they would immediately call them there.
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So now they're in a bad state when, um,
they're not in a less ideal state when
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they're competing and they just did.
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And then there was the calls that they
made and there was all these different
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things that were part of the culture.
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That essentially it's like the referee
basically favoring one, one team.
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So the next time he went back, he had
changed a lot of different things.
229
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And in the moment when these things
would happen, he was able to still focus.
230
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:08,432
So long way of saying in this world, there
are going to be people out there who do
231
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things to, to hurt you, who don't play
fair, bad things are going to happen.
232
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So it's, it's a lot more
than just the psychology of.
233
00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:21,117
The opponent and thinking through step
by step, it's also knowing yourself
234
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and really understanding yourself.
235
00:13:23,147 --> 00:13:26,807
Now imagine if you had those skills,
imagine if your kids had those skills,
236
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how much better off they would be.
237
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I
238
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Tali: I think the illustration he
made in the book was staying soft.
239
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So in the case when his opponent was
cheating, he could get angry and allow
240
00:13:43,317 --> 00:13:48,527
that to break his concentration, or
he can train himself to work with
241
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it and win despite the cheating.
242
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:59,157
So that was a self improvement moment
rather than a anger, uh, lash out or
243
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just play victim kind of mentality.
244
00:14:03,237 --> 00:14:05,187
And obviously it's, it's unfair.
245
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Nobody's going to question that statement,
but You after that, what do you do?
246
00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:16,652
and he always just dealt with it and
worked with what he had to work with
247
00:14:17,192 --> 00:14:24,112
and Then try to figure out a way to beat
it one example he gave was the the time
248
00:14:24,112 --> 00:14:29,272
when he was crossing the street in New
York and this lady Next to him had her
249
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earphones in and she looked at the down
the wrong side of the street stepped off
250
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:42,932
the curb And a bike messenger almost hit
her instead of realizing her mistake,
251
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which was that she wasn't paying attention
and she looked down the wrong side of
252
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the street, she turned and yelled at the
bike messenger that was speeding away.
253
00:14:51,802 --> 00:14:56,772
Well, as she was doing that, she
missed another car that was coming
254
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,672
around the corner and she was hit.
255
00:14:59,412 --> 00:15:06,402
So the lesson was, . You can recognize
your mistake and correct your own
256
00:15:06,442 --> 00:15:12,052
actions, or you can focus your attention
on blaming and then potentially hurt
257
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yourself even more in the long run.
258
00:15:15,157 --> 00:15:17,727
Scott: Right, you're managing
stress at a level that most
259
00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:20,287
people just don't, don't do.
260
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So it's the soft zone.
261
00:15:21,857 --> 00:15:23,257
Yeah, that, that was excellent.
262
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,477
Another, another area that he
talked about was investing in loss.
263
00:15:27,947 --> 00:15:31,657
So throughout the book, no matter
what he was talking about, no
264
00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:34,047
matter how frustrating and how
bad things were, and he would
265
00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:37,447
document in his journal how he felt.
266
00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:46,537
I, I'm mad, I'm hurt, I'm this, I'm
whatever, but he, he actually embraces
267
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,977
the idea that you have to make mistakes.
268
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,867
You have to have losses.
269
00:15:51,447 --> 00:15:58,677
And if you, if you embrace loss as
a way to, to take from it something
270
00:15:58,677 --> 00:16:01,417
that can make you better than.
271
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:04,902
Then you're, you're
basically in, it's weird.
272
00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:08,142
It's a weird way of saying it,
but you're investing in the loss.
273
00:16:08,182 --> 00:16:09,532
So you have to get yourself out there.
274
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:10,542
You have to take action.
275
00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:15,722
And then from a feedback standpoint, it's
not just saying I had that experience
276
00:16:15,722 --> 00:16:17,022
and then I want to go forget about it.
277
00:16:17,452 --> 00:16:22,152
It was more of the, it was much more
of a, let's, let's dissect this thing.
278
00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:28,687
Let me go and see the eye movements of
my, uh, Opponents, they're the smallest
279
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:32,057
way that they would shift their weight or
not shift their weight or maybe someone
280
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,167
would change their breathing right
before they would do a certain thing.
281
00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:36,657
I mean you're telling my new,
but he didn't start there.
282
00:16:37,807 --> 00:16:42,187
He had a, um, he went through
a lot of, a lot of pain and,
283
00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:55,882
Tali: through a lot of,
a lot of pain and, um,
284
00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:57,247
Scott: also lose enough
285
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,362
Tali: That you are continuously improving.
286
00:17:00,132 --> 00:17:02,972
And that is a very difficult
balance to achieve.
287
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:08,582
And that is down to the player
or the competitor and also
288
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,102
a great coach in the book.
289
00:17:11,102 --> 00:17:16,531
He also makes a comparison towards
the end of his chess career.
290
00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:25,182
He was losing his passion and he Was
trying to break through to the next level
291
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:32,592
and he had a change of coaches and he
had two choices He had one coach who was
292
00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:39,922
exceptionally Single minded about the
best way to train the students So his
293
00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:44,542
approach was to break the student down
so that he can build them up in what
294
00:17:44,542 --> 00:17:49,112
he believed was the optimal way and his
way of playing was very very different
295
00:17:49,122 --> 00:17:57,052
from Josh's natural inclination to play
The other coach spend the first part of
296
00:17:57,052 --> 00:18:01,502
his coaching with a student by observing
the student and how the student played.
297
00:18:01,822 --> 00:18:07,162
And then his method was to help
the student excel in the way that
298
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:08,312
the student naturally played.
299
00:18:08,322 --> 00:18:10,162
So two very, very different approaches.
300
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:13,272
And Josh makes a comparison
between the two of them.
301
00:18:13,622 --> 00:18:20,422
One, the one that he chose to go with,
Which ultimately ended his career was the
302
00:18:20,422 --> 00:18:26,212
guy who made him feel like he shouldn't
trust himself because he was instructed
303
00:18:26,212 --> 00:18:28,712
to think, what would his coach do?
304
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,482
And in that way, he started
to ignore his instinct.
305
00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:35,932
He felt like he wasn't playing himself.
306
00:18:35,932 --> 00:18:39,512
He watched, he felt like he was
watching himself play from a distance.
307
00:18:39,832 --> 00:18:40,132
And so.
308
00:18:40,677 --> 00:18:45,587
That balance of encouragement and
correction, that's a fine line to walk.
309
00:18:46,317 --> 00:18:48,877
And so he made that comparison,
and I think it's really helpful
310
00:18:48,887 --> 00:18:52,577
for students, not students, for
homeschooling parents to think that way.
311
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:58,157
You know, to, to pay really close
attention to, to that balance
312
00:18:58,307 --> 00:19:01,397
of teaching and encouraging.
313
00:19:01,982 --> 00:19:04,052
Scott: Right, and it might
depend on the student too, right?
314
00:19:04,052 --> 00:19:06,212
It's not going to be the
same for each, uh, student.
315
00:19:06,382 --> 00:19:10,452
The, the second thing about that
is, he gave a lot of thought to
316
00:19:10,462 --> 00:19:11,652
who he wanted to be coached by.
317
00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:19,062
This wasn't a He was very much going to
make the future he wanted, and he gave
318
00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:26,392
a great deal of thought to who was right
for him, even though, like your, imagine
319
00:19:26,392 --> 00:19:31,472
telling your friend, Hey, you're, you
can't be my business partner anymore
320
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:32,612
because we've reached a new level.
321
00:19:33,637 --> 00:19:34,047
Tali: So,
322
00:19:34,182 --> 00:19:35,872
Scott: terms of his, his coaching.
323
00:19:36,637 --> 00:19:39,947
He had grown close to these,
these individuals because we
324
00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:40,977
spent a lot of time together.
325
00:19:40,977 --> 00:19:43,637
So he was thinking
about the bigger picture.
326
00:19:43,697 --> 00:19:47,307
And so not only did he recognize
all the things that you just said,
327
00:19:47,307 --> 00:19:52,297
but then he also had the courage
to, to make a decision, right?
328
00:19:52,297 --> 00:19:55,817
Also, he talked about the beginners, I
don't know if he called it the beginner's
329
00:19:55,817 --> 00:20:01,057
mind, but he, he was always open to
new, new perspective and approaches
330
00:20:01,807 --> 00:20:04,767
no matter how experienced you got.
331
00:20:04,797 --> 00:20:10,027
And I, and I think he mentioned
that, for example, a lot of chess
332
00:20:10,027 --> 00:20:15,307
clubs , the coaches would be tempted
to just teach the kids a whole
333
00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:17,207
bunch of starting moves, right?
334
00:20:17,207 --> 00:20:17,907
A whole bunch of things.
335
00:20:18,902 --> 00:20:19,522
Tali: And
336
00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:23,612
Scott: Initially, this, depending on
the age, this can be very effective
337
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:29,702
in terms of helping new chess players
do very well against their opponents.
338
00:20:30,622 --> 00:20:34,602
But in longer games and things
in tournaments and like that, it
339
00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:35,952
doesn't necessarily help them there.
340
00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:40,412
And, and his approach was to
focus on the fundamentals.
341
00:20:40,912 --> 00:20:41,802
And so.
342
00:20:42,757 --> 00:20:44,297
He just kept learning and
learning and learning.
343
00:20:44,297 --> 00:20:44,637
He, he
344
00:20:44,832 --> 00:20:47,082
Tali: can I, can I correct you actually?
345
00:20:47,477 --> 00:20:52,952
So, The example you're giving about
the kids who are learning chess,
346
00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:59,902
what the difference, the differences
between what he believes is.
347
00:21:00,407 --> 00:21:05,747
The best way and what a lot of chess
clubs teach their students is the
348
00:21:05,757 --> 00:21:12,567
chess clubs teach their students to
memorize aggressive opening moves
349
00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:18,947
Whereas josh started by being trained
with three pieces on the board.
350
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,382
He was He was learning the
ending moves when there were
351
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,062
very few pieces on the board.
352
00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:30,682
And so he learned to understand the
nuance and the power of each individual
353
00:21:30,712 --> 00:21:35,212
piece so that he could make sense of.
354
00:21:35,932 --> 00:21:40,132
Chaos in the middle of the play and his
strength was in the ending of the game.
355
00:21:40,462 --> 00:21:46,572
Whereas these students were taught
with the, what you would call, um,
356
00:21:46,582 --> 00:21:52,062
high time preference because these
were elementary school chess coaches
357
00:21:52,422 --> 00:21:57,942
and their job was to make sure that
their students placed high that year.
358
00:21:57,992 --> 00:21:59,682
And so if they were a third year
359
00:22:00,577 --> 00:22:01,587
Scott: student coaches,
360
00:22:01,842 --> 00:22:06,262
Tali: They didn't care that the
students would not progress beyond
361
00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:09,832
seventh or eighth grade because they
were, they had done their job making
362
00:22:09,832 --> 00:22:15,092
these kids into champions in the third
grade by teaching them or having them
363
00:22:15,102 --> 00:22:17,622
memorize aggressive opening moves.
364
00:22:18,252 --> 00:22:23,042
Aggressive opening moves work if you
are competing against other new players.
365
00:22:23,282 --> 00:22:23,932
Scott: chess players.
366
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:28,527
Tali: But when you get into the more
experienced chess player games, you
367
00:22:28,537 --> 00:22:31,977
have to be able to get past that
the opening move and have enough
368
00:22:32,007 --> 00:22:36,767
endurance and mental discipline to
get through to the end of the game.
369
00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:40,727
And that's the comparison he had
between the long, the high time
370
00:22:40,907 --> 00:22:42,757
preference and low time preference.
371
00:22:42,757 --> 00:22:47,787
If you have a long term view and Josh did
because he was looking, he was looking at.
372
00:22:47,987 --> 00:22:48,317
A
373
00:22:50,682 --> 00:22:50,902
Scott: long
374
00:22:50,907 --> 00:22:51,317
Tali: term view.
375
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:52,737
What's another way of saying it?
376
00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:53,327
He was just
377
00:22:53,452 --> 00:22:54,232
Scott: low time preference.
378
00:22:54,357 --> 00:22:57,767
Tali: was, yeah, he was just looking
at, you know, how would the student
379
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:05,727
develop eventually versus the coach
of one grade year and the chess club
380
00:23:05,807 --> 00:23:08,087
training that was offered in that year.
381
00:23:08,177 --> 00:23:08,927
Does that make sense?
382
00:23:08,975 --> 00:23:09,302
Scott: sense?
383
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:09,572
Yeah.
384
00:23:09,572 --> 00:23:11,902
So I, yeah, I don't disagree
with everything you're saying.
385
00:23:11,902 --> 00:23:13,902
I remember, I recall what
you're, you're talking about.
386
00:23:14,502 --> 00:23:19,172
And I, I think I, the, the point I was
trying to make, and maybe I blurred
387
00:23:19,172 --> 00:23:24,072
them together was if you're, if
you're always open to, even when you
388
00:23:24,072 --> 00:23:26,662
get better, let's say you've, you've
trained up to a certain high level.
389
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,127
Some people just stagnate there.
390
00:23:29,177 --> 00:23:30,557
They don't make it to champion.
391
00:23:30,787 --> 00:23:36,467
And he was always open to keep on learning
new perspectives, new approaches, new.
392
00:23:37,502 --> 00:23:39,512
Techniques knew whatever, what it was.
393
00:23:39,972 --> 00:23:41,852
So the, okay, here's a different example.
394
00:23:41,852 --> 00:23:45,302
He gave, he was in the gym and
he said he wanted to get better.
395
00:23:45,302 --> 00:23:50,902
So he, he was starting to get paired
up with, some giants of a, like
396
00:23:51,802 --> 00:23:55,182
some huge guy who was also like
multiple black belts, whatever else.
397
00:23:55,182 --> 00:23:58,402
And this opponent of
his, but usually just,
398
00:23:59,467 --> 00:23:59,607
Tali: he
399
00:23:59,752 --> 00:24:03,612
Scott: just dominate whoever he
was in the, in the dojo with him.
400
00:24:04,372 --> 00:24:04,872
And.
401
00:24:05,602 --> 00:24:09,622
He kept every night going back and
doing it again and again and again,
402
00:24:09,622 --> 00:24:12,392
even though he was literally getting
thrown to the mats and literally
403
00:24:12,392 --> 00:24:17,042
getting whatever bruises you get
from being tossed around so much.
404
00:24:17,952 --> 00:24:21,752
But through time he, he was
learning the techniques.
405
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,252
He was learning the tells, if you will.
406
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:29,757
And That person stagnated where they
were, whereas he was continuing to get
407
00:24:30,137 --> 00:24:31,497
better and better looking for new things.
408
00:24:31,497 --> 00:24:35,247
And he eventually was able one, one
day when he was there, he was able to,
409
00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:40,247
where he got to throw in and it got
to the point where he was able to beat
410
00:24:40,247 --> 00:24:43,537
this person who physically otherwise
would, should be dominating him.
411
00:24:43,537 --> 00:24:48,557
And then after that, the guy didn't want
to, didn't want to fight him anymore.
412
00:24:49,587 --> 00:24:54,052
So Josh's approach was, I'm going to
keep fighting this guy who's a lot
413
00:24:54,052 --> 00:24:55,182
better than me until I figure it out.
414
00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:57,372
The other guy was, as soon as
he had someone that actually
415
00:24:57,382 --> 00:24:58,752
beat him, he wanted to stop.
416
00:24:59,752 --> 00:25:01,232
Because he could dominate everybody else.
417
00:25:02,012 --> 00:25:07,382
And so, the other guy was not a
martial arts champion, and Josh was.
418
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:12,392
And I think it comes back to
Josh's perspective on always
419
00:25:12,402 --> 00:25:14,732
being open to new experiences.
420
00:25:15,132 --> 00:25:17,792
Perspective approaches, no matter
what level you've reached, no
421
00:25:17,792 --> 00:25:20,832
matter what level of parenting,
what level of schooling, whatever.
422
00:25:21,572 --> 00:25:25,112
So different than what you were saying,
still an important lesson, I think.
423
00:25:26,247 --> 00:25:31,107
Tali: Well, the thing about the, the
Um, kids were taught the aggressive
424
00:25:31,237 --> 00:25:34,727
opening moves and will win quickly.
425
00:25:35,357 --> 00:25:39,127
And what they, the way that they
will compare their scorecard
426
00:25:39,137 --> 00:25:43,007
with each other would be how many
moves did you make before you won?
427
00:25:43,127 --> 00:25:45,057
So that was their scorecard.
428
00:25:45,657 --> 00:25:49,217
And when they got older and
they didn't win all the time
429
00:25:49,217 --> 00:25:51,117
anymore, these kids all quit.
430
00:25:52,347 --> 00:25:54,617
And that kind of goes back
to what you're saying is.
431
00:25:54,617 --> 00:25:55,537
Scott: That,
432
00:25:55,827 --> 00:26:00,997
Tali: that sense of anti fragile
mentality, that cannot happen
433
00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:02,677
if they're always winning.
434
00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:05,647
That's why that investment
in loss is so important.
435
00:26:05,837 --> 00:26:05,967
Uh,
436
00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:06,927
Scott: Hmm.
437
00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:07,727
Yep.
438
00:26:09,187 --> 00:26:13,567
Uh, there, there are a couple other
areas that I thought were worthy of, of.
439
00:26:14,757 --> 00:26:17,807
Trying to put it incorporated
into your, your homeschooling
440
00:26:17,807 --> 00:26:22,187
experience, because again, these are
things that I would like to learn.
441
00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:25,027
I wish I had learned
earlier technique wise.
442
00:26:25,967 --> 00:26:28,427
And there's, there are things that had.
443
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,887
Had we been able to teach our own
kids some of these principles,
444
00:26:32,957 --> 00:26:36,447
I would love to have more
deliberately taught some of them.
445
00:26:37,277 --> 00:26:40,367
One of the ones, and I know that, Talia,
I know we talked about visualization
446
00:26:40,367 --> 00:26:45,497
with our, with our, with our kids, but
the, one of the examples Josh Wason
447
00:26:45,527 --> 00:26:50,197
goes into in depth about visualization
and how he uses it to prepare for,
448
00:26:51,257 --> 00:26:54,487
Matches how he prepares for how he's
going to handle his feelings and things.
449
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:58,197
One of the ones that stuck out
to me was he had, he had broken
450
00:26:58,197 --> 00:27:00,947
his, uh, I think it was his wrist.
451
00:27:00,977 --> 00:27:06,437
He, he, he broke something in his
hand and the doctors basically
452
00:27:06,437 --> 00:27:09,407
said, you're not going to be able
to compete at the world championship
453
00:27:09,407 --> 00:27:10,697
that you've been preparing for.
454
00:27:11,747 --> 00:27:12,647
And.
455
00:27:13,297 --> 00:27:15,667
They basically said, you're going to
cast for this long and then you're going
456
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:19,567
to get it off like a week or so before
then there's not enough time for you with
457
00:27:19,567 --> 00:27:22,247
all the muscle atrophy to, to recover.
458
00:27:23,547 --> 00:27:26,617
And he would still continue to work
out for the rest of his body, like
459
00:27:26,617 --> 00:27:29,567
his weights and things that he could,
except for the one that was immobile
460
00:27:29,567 --> 00:27:33,487
with the, with the cast, but he was
visualizing using it the whole time.
461
00:27:33,487 --> 00:27:38,387
And when he actually had the cast off,
they, the doctors were amazed at how.
462
00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:43,472
Little atrophy had actually experienced
during that, and he was actually
463
00:27:43,472 --> 00:27:46,572
able to go back and compete and, and
the, the, I don't want to ruin the
464
00:27:46,572 --> 00:27:48,492
punchline, but he does end up winning.
465
00:27:48,492 --> 00:27:53,402
So the, the power of his, and I'm, and I'm
not saying you're going to go out there
466
00:27:53,402 --> 00:28:00,472
and heal yourself, but, but man, he, he
really put in the work with visualization.
467
00:28:01,142 --> 00:28:03,662
I mean, he really would,
uh, would do that.
468
00:28:03,672 --> 00:28:07,307
And that is a skill that if you could
teach a young kid, you know, And just
469
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:11,627
so that they think that visualization is
a normal type thing to use to prepare.
470
00:28:12,687 --> 00:28:14,567
And then afterwards, how to handle
those failures and all those
471
00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:15,697
other things we just talked about.
472
00:28:16,237 --> 00:28:22,797
These are great anti fragile skill
sets to, that can really help our
473
00:28:22,797 --> 00:28:24,557
kids out as they, as they grow.
474
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:26,837
So anyway, did, was there
anything from a visualization
475
00:28:26,837 --> 00:28:28,047
standpoint that stood out for you?
476
00:28:28,902 --> 00:28:32,957
Tali: Yeah, I I think I, I shared
a study with the kids when we
477
00:28:32,957 --> 00:28:34,157
were going through homeschooling.
478
00:28:34,577 --> 00:28:41,847
And the example was, two, two study
groups, one study group played musical
479
00:28:41,857 --> 00:28:46,527
scales physically on the piano every
day for a certain amount of time.
480
00:28:46,997 --> 00:28:52,557
The other group played it only in
their mind for the same amount of time.
481
00:28:53,107 --> 00:28:55,667
And at the end of the study,
they were supposed to play
482
00:28:55,667 --> 00:28:58,517
the scales and the group that.
483
00:28:58,517 --> 00:28:58,557
Okay.
484
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:05,827
Did the visualization actually performed
better I can't reference that study you
485
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:11,517
can probably Google it but I I remember
talking about it with our kids because it
486
00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:18,397
is so powerful and is so Unconventional
it the highest level athletes all learn
487
00:29:18,397 --> 00:29:21,177
this from their performance coaches,
but for whatever reason it doesn't
488
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,757
trickle down to common education
489
00:29:24,562 --> 00:29:26,072
Scott: Yeah, including visualization.
490
00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:29,607
I don't think we're experts on
it, but including visualization
491
00:29:29,607 --> 00:29:32,657
and what you teach your kids, uh,
that's pretty, pretty important.
492
00:29:32,657 --> 00:29:36,817
Another thing that I, that I thought
would be a good habit to teach
493
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:39,317
kids would be the learning journal.
494
00:29:40,817 --> 00:29:43,537
And it's more than, um, like I've
already referenced it a couple
495
00:29:43,537 --> 00:29:44,907
of times in the conversation.
496
00:29:45,427 --> 00:29:50,427
But he would go back, for example, and
look at his tapes and not just like,
497
00:29:50,437 --> 00:29:53,367
whether it's chess or the martial
arts, and he would look at them and
498
00:29:53,367 --> 00:29:56,287
look at them and look at them again,
and he would go back to his journal
499
00:29:56,287 --> 00:29:57,737
and he would link the two together.
500
00:29:57,737 --> 00:29:58,127
So.
501
00:29:59,087 --> 00:30:04,907
What had gone on before that event,
what, what did he miss during it that
502
00:30:04,907 --> 00:30:08,977
he could now the time had passed and
he was more calm, he could, he could
503
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:11,627
identify and then make a plan for it.
504
00:30:12,647 --> 00:30:16,457
But he would realize, Hey, I
really was thrown off my game
505
00:30:17,072 --> 00:30:17,302
Tali: at
506
00:30:17,457 --> 00:30:20,607
Scott: this point because
this is what I was feeling.
507
00:30:20,607 --> 00:30:23,947
And he would, he would have kind
of this insight about himself.
508
00:30:24,737 --> 00:30:28,547
But it was only because he had
been keeping a journal of his,
509
00:30:28,557 --> 00:30:31,497
his, his progress and was able
to go back and then apply it.
510
00:30:31,507 --> 00:30:33,857
So it was, it was, it was more than
just keeping a journal and then you,
511
00:30:33,927 --> 00:30:35,217
you don't go back and look at it.
512
00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:41,767
It, this was a matter of, he was
proactively using it as a, as a tool.
513
00:30:41,837 --> 00:30:45,647
And for, for super young kids,
just the habit of journaling is, is
514
00:30:45,657 --> 00:30:47,047
probably all you would need to do.
515
00:30:48,107 --> 00:30:53,047
Uh, but I, I would think that, you know,
junior high, high school, being able to
516
00:30:53,487 --> 00:30:55,897
go back through past experiences and.
517
00:30:56,152 --> 00:31:01,542
And link, link of what you were
feeling, how did you prepare, et cetera.
518
00:31:02,572 --> 00:31:03,502
That's an interesting thing.
519
00:31:03,502 --> 00:31:07,522
I don't, uh, I think very, very, very
few people or a very small percent of
520
00:31:07,522 --> 00:31:09,632
the other population would do that.
521
00:31:09,632 --> 00:31:11,592
And the ones that are doing it are
probably the ones that have some kind
522
00:31:11,592 --> 00:31:17,782
of professional coach, but nothing stops
you or their kids from, from doing that.
523
00:31:18,002 --> 00:31:18,902
Anybody can do that.
524
00:31:20,077 --> 00:31:20,107
Tali: That
525
00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:23,642
Scott: That was another thing too, is
that these are all things that there
526
00:31:23,642 --> 00:31:26,692
was nothing that he said where you
said, man, he just had a God given
527
00:31:26,692 --> 00:31:29,192
skill and nobody else can do anything.
528
00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:34,087
The things that he was listing out
were like, it was like, wow, those are
529
00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:36,817
things that anybody can use as a tool.
530
00:31:36,927 --> 00:31:42,027
Maybe not everybody will achieve the
same, same level, but there's nothing
531
00:31:42,037 --> 00:31:46,617
about these techniques that, that
are only, you know, for some given
532
00:31:46,667 --> 00:31:49,157
select few of these, the things that
he listed out for these different
533
00:31:49,177 --> 00:31:52,217
learning techniques, anybody can apply.
534
00:31:52,492 --> 00:31:54,892
And again, I go back to, wouldn't
you want your kids to have
535
00:31:54,892 --> 00:31:56,602
that, these kind of lessons.
536
00:31:57,412 --> 00:32:02,402
So even if you only took one thing from
the book, , as I, as I think about this,
537
00:32:02,402 --> 00:32:05,332
if we were sitting down with someone like
in person and talking about this, even if
538
00:32:05,332 --> 00:32:09,792
you took away just one thing from the book
that can help improve either you or your
539
00:32:09,792 --> 00:32:14,952
kids, uh, your, your habits in your life,
like, You, you would want to do that.
540
00:32:14,972 --> 00:32:18,232
And, um, you know, don't trust
us, you know, verify for yourself.
541
00:32:18,232 --> 00:32:19,132
Don't trust verify.
542
00:32:19,252 --> 00:32:22,712
Um, the worst that you have is
you lose a couple hours, few
543
00:32:22,712 --> 00:32:23,922
hours listening to an audible book
544
00:32:23,922 --> 00:32:24,622
Tali: Doing it.
545
00:32:24,622 --> 00:32:24,971
Um,
546
00:32:25,062 --> 00:32:25,542
Scott: doing it.
547
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:26,962
Um, but I liked the journal.
548
00:32:27,022 --> 00:32:28,522
Did you, did you have any
thoughts on the journal?
549
00:32:28,818 --> 00:32:30,217
Tali: thoughts on the journal?
550
00:32:30,217 --> 00:32:33,015
I think the journal is a great idea.
551
00:32:33,015 --> 00:32:36,512
I don't think it's practical
for a lot of people.
552
00:32:36,512 --> 00:32:40,452
So, you know, take from it what
you can and don't feel like
553
00:32:41,322 --> 00:32:43,112
any, you have to do any of it.
554
00:32:43,592 --> 00:32:46,932
Take, take from it what you
can and what you can apply.
555
00:32:46,952 --> 00:32:48,592
And that's the most important thing.
556
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,242
Another thing I want to
mention from the book.
557
00:32:52,062 --> 00:32:54,442
It's something that we've already
talked about before in the previous
558
00:32:54,442 --> 00:33:01,052
episodes, but I just want to reiterate
because it is, it is a common cultural
559
00:33:02,097 --> 00:33:02,217
Scott: belief
560
00:33:02,602 --> 00:33:07,752
Tali: I believe that I think we
should try to overcome, which
561
00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:11,222
is this whole notion of talent.
562
00:33:11,802 --> 00:33:15,522
, I just hear so many people say, Oh,
I'm just not good at math, almost like,
563
00:33:15,742 --> 00:33:20,252
therefore they shouldn't have to try kind
of thing, or I'm just not good at writing.
564
00:33:20,272 --> 00:33:24,292
I, I suck at spelling or
something like that, like talent,
565
00:33:25,002 --> 00:33:28,072
Trump's effort, and he makes it.
566
00:33:28,312 --> 00:33:35,302
A point in this book that if that as
parents, when you give feedback to your
567
00:33:35,302 --> 00:33:42,602
kids, the nuance is what determines
that the belief in one way or the
568
00:33:42,602 --> 00:33:44,952
other, the, the talent versus effort.
569
00:33:44,962 --> 00:33:50,712
So for example, if your child comes
home and she's gotten an A, In math and
570
00:33:50,712 --> 00:33:52,392
you say, Oh my gosh, you're so smart.
571
00:33:52,392 --> 00:33:53,282
You're so good at math.
572
00:33:53,672 --> 00:33:56,022
You're really highlighting
the talent side.
573
00:33:56,062 --> 00:34:00,872
But if you say something like, I'm so
proud of you, you work so hard, then
574
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,562
you're emphasizing the effort side.
575
00:34:03,522 --> 00:34:06,822
If she comes home and
she gets, let's say a C.
576
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:11,677
In English, you can, you don't have to
say, Oh, you know, terrible at English.
577
00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:13,567
It's just not, it's not your strong suit.
578
00:34:13,947 --> 00:34:18,837
You can say something like, well, maybe
next time you work a little harder on your
579
00:34:18,837 --> 00:34:21,556
paper and ask your teacher some questions.
580
00:34:21,556 --> 00:34:22,536
That's what she's there for.
581
00:34:22,536 --> 00:34:23,347
She can help you.
582
00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:25,067
And then you emphasize that.
583
00:34:25,286 --> 00:34:27,967
The effort is what is the most important.
584
00:34:27,996 --> 00:34:31,907
And in that way, you also empower
your child in whatever pursue,
585
00:34:32,496 --> 00:34:33,687
you know, it down the road.
586
00:34:34,637 --> 00:34:37,177
A book I would like to recommend
is called the talent code.
587
00:34:37,206 --> 00:34:42,337
And it specifically addresses this,
this notion of talent versus effort.
588
00:34:42,337 --> 00:34:43,417
It's a very, very small book.
589
00:34:43,427 --> 00:34:45,367
You can look it up on
Amazon, the talent code.
590
00:34:45,521 --> 00:34:46,280
Scott: on Amazon.
591
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,694
Yeah, no, I remember you
talking about that previously.
592
00:34:49,694 --> 00:34:52,371
So some of these concepts
are going to tie.
593
00:34:52,382 --> 00:34:56,702
We've now, a lot of these things
tie into each other, so we can kind
594
00:34:56,702 --> 00:34:58,102
of go more quickly through them.
595
00:34:58,152 --> 00:35:00,982
I have a note here about the
idea of incremental learning
596
00:35:01,052 --> 00:35:02,272
and the feedback loops.
597
00:35:02,992 --> 00:35:05,302
So we've talked about how
he would break down things.
598
00:35:05,947 --> 00:35:09,197
He'd start with whatever it is and they
have his circles and he would get smaller
599
00:35:09,197 --> 00:35:11,967
and smaller and keep on, , refining.
600
00:35:11,967 --> 00:35:12,087
You should explain
601
00:35:12,182 --> 00:35:12,862
Tali: what that means.
602
00:35:14,637 --> 00:35:16,832
Scott: So Yeah.
603
00:35:16,832 --> 00:35:20,742
I wish I could do it as articulately as he
does, but I mean, when you, when you first
604
00:35:20,742 --> 00:35:26,552
go in to learn, for example, martial arts,
or I guess you could even use a chess,
605
00:35:26,552 --> 00:35:32,382
you're, you're not going to try to learn
the same type of things that a master in
606
00:35:32,382 --> 00:35:34,462
those areas is going to be focused on.
607
00:35:34,682 --> 00:35:34,872
Right.
608
00:35:34,872 --> 00:35:39,652
You don't, you don't go to a novice
in martial arts and talk about the
609
00:35:39,692 --> 00:35:43,552
opponent's breathing and where their
body weight is and whatever else
610
00:35:43,552 --> 00:35:45,782
you're just, you're going to, you
need to learn the muscle memory.
611
00:35:46,092 --> 00:35:51,642
Of the most basic movements so that
you can, you can get those down and the
612
00:35:51,642 --> 00:35:56,432
same thing with chess, like you said
earlier, where he learned how each piece
613
00:35:57,172 --> 00:35:59,752
worked and he learned how each pairing.
614
00:35:59,872 --> 00:36:03,142
So this is how the Knight
and the Bishop work together.
615
00:36:03,192 --> 00:36:05,882
This is how the Rook and
the Bishop work together.
616
00:36:05,882 --> 00:36:09,752
This is how the Knight, I mean,
and then you build up and build up
617
00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:12,692
and you eventually get to the point
where you're working on strategies.
618
00:36:13,372 --> 00:36:18,522
High level strategies as opposed to just
starting with here's an opening move.
619
00:36:18,892 --> 00:36:20,522
Here's your strategy on that
620
00:36:20,632 --> 00:36:23,042
Tali: Well, I will explain
it the opposite way.
621
00:36:23,322 --> 00:36:25,752
So I'll use Tai Chi Chan as an example.
622
00:36:26,162 --> 00:36:29,982
When you're a novice, you follow
the teacher and you understand the
623
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:34,662
general, the steps, you know, the
choreography, the general way you
624
00:36:34,662 --> 00:36:39,882
should, , lift your arm and the way
that you should put one step forward and
625
00:36:39,892 --> 00:36:41,212
bend your knees and that kind of thing.
626
00:36:41,212 --> 00:36:44,592
So very general things, but eventually
as you get more and more advanced,
627
00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:46,092
you start to get into this really.
628
00:36:46,487 --> 00:36:50,777
Really nuance things like where
is your hip when you stand?
629
00:36:50,827 --> 00:36:55,007
Is it in the center of your
right foot like your hip weight?
630
00:36:55,307 --> 00:36:56,157
Is it to the left?
631
00:36:56,157 --> 00:36:56,937
Is it to the right?
632
00:36:57,017 --> 00:36:59,497
Is your weight on your big
toes, your weight on your heel?
633
00:37:00,377 --> 00:37:04,577
So when you get more advanced you
you start to break down each movement
634
00:37:04,607 --> 00:37:09,527
into smaller smaller pieces It's
the nuance in the nuance is how
635
00:37:09,527 --> 00:37:11,397
you win and improve your skills.
636
00:37:11,427 --> 00:37:12,567
Not the big flow.
637
00:37:12,567 --> 00:37:20,527
So it's like a 10, 000 foot You know
like Bert's eye view of what's going
638
00:37:20,527 --> 00:37:27,947
on and then eventually you, you funnel
narrower and narrower into the nuances.
639
00:37:28,307 --> 00:37:30,297
I think that's what you're
referring to, right?
640
00:37:31,077 --> 00:37:32,467
Scott: Well, I liked the
way you explained that.
641
00:37:32,567 --> 00:37:35,387
And that makes sense a lot with
a lot of his examples of, of what
642
00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:36,837
he was looking for when he was.
643
00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:42,137
What, when he was getting to the
highest levels of competition, the, the
644
00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:47,927
smallest of details and how much time
he spent on the things that he never
645
00:37:47,927 --> 00:37:51,297
would have even been able to notice
before, because he was trying to learn
646
00:37:51,297 --> 00:37:54,977
the, the, I think he used an analogy
of like learning to drive, right?
647
00:37:54,987 --> 00:37:58,767
Like you, first thing you need to do
is like, like the car needs to move.
648
00:37:58,797 --> 00:38:01,917
And so you just like learn how to
use the gas and the brakes, right?
649
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,117
Uh, the nuances of.
650
00:38:05,537 --> 00:38:10,067
What's the weather like, the distance
one driver is keeping from another.
651
00:38:10,077 --> 00:38:12,387
Are they, how much are
they moving or swaying?
652
00:38:12,397 --> 00:38:15,877
Does that mean that they, maybe they're,
you know, they're, they're sleepy
653
00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:17,027
or on drugs or something like you.
654
00:38:17,327 --> 00:38:22,097
I forget what he used like that, but
you, the nuances of things, you can't see
655
00:38:22,097 --> 00:38:23,627
those details when you first start out.
656
00:38:24,362 --> 00:38:26,832
Because you're just focused on
the big, you're just learning the
657
00:38:26,832 --> 00:38:28,422
big, the big picture of things.
658
00:38:29,012 --> 00:38:30,902
, that's the also like
the muscle memory too.
659
00:38:30,902 --> 00:38:33,532
Like you, you can't focus
on the smaller things.
660
00:38:34,447 --> 00:38:36,437
If you're still trying
to do the basic things,
661
00:38:36,467 --> 00:38:38,704
all right.
662
00:38:38,704 --> 00:38:44,942
Um, Yeah, but they, , incremental
learning, feedback loops, the deep focus.
663
00:38:44,942 --> 00:38:47,612
We touched about that early on immersion.
664
00:38:47,612 --> 00:38:52,402
He, he certainly, uh, Waze can, he
is, he goes deep, he goes really,
665
00:38:52,402 --> 00:38:55,112
really deep on anything that he does.
666
00:38:55,192 --> 00:38:56,372
And I don't know if everybody.
667
00:38:57,017 --> 00:39:02,907
It has that, um, the willingness to,
to go as deep, but on the, on the other
668
00:39:02,907 --> 00:39:07,347
hand, let's, let's talk this quickly
to, to tools and technologies that are
669
00:39:07,347 --> 00:39:11,937
available today, we've talked about
that, like the whole idea of Jeff booth
670
00:39:11,947 --> 00:39:13,487
and tech where technology is going.
671
00:39:13,487 --> 00:39:13,897
It's very.
672
00:39:14,397 --> 00:39:19,707
You know, Bitcoin thing, it's that's
deflationary versus money, but you look
673
00:39:19,717 --> 00:39:23,727
at where AI is today and you look at
all the, the, the different things we
674
00:39:23,727 --> 00:39:29,247
have, you can, you can get creative and
use technology to help with feedback.
675
00:39:29,757 --> 00:39:35,037
Just the fact that you can record
things, um, at different levels.
676
00:39:35,947 --> 00:39:39,327
And now, now you could even probably
put some of those things you could play.
677
00:39:39,337 --> 00:39:45,227
If you were competing in chess, you could
probably put that into an AI, AI program.
678
00:39:45,642 --> 00:39:49,182
Let it analyze it for
you to, um, I don't know.
679
00:39:49,192 --> 00:39:52,782
I haven't tried that myself, but if you
want to look at where your heart rate is
680
00:39:52,782 --> 00:39:56,072
and you're breathing, you can get like a
Garmin watch and you can get feedback on,
681
00:39:56,962 --> 00:40:00,552
you know, how, how different things I, my
point is, I don't know exactly how to do.
682
00:40:00,552 --> 00:40:00,872
I do.
683
00:40:00,962 --> 00:40:06,122
I just know that., Get creative in
how you use technology and you don't
684
00:40:06,122 --> 00:40:08,852
have to get to a world class level
to have some benefit in your life.
685
00:40:09,562 --> 00:40:12,842
And there's a lot of things available
today that can help with feedback.
686
00:40:13,252 --> 00:40:17,722
So that was my thought on,
uh, on the feedback loops.
687
00:40:19,737 --> 00:40:25,967
Tali: Well, taking that tiny little
step further, he talks about how
688
00:40:25,997 --> 00:40:32,537
when you become ultra focused, you
can notice the tiniest thing that's
689
00:40:32,547 --> 00:40:34,317
happening within your own body.
690
00:40:34,487 --> 00:40:39,687
So you're talking about wearing
a garment for biofeedback.
691
00:40:40,612 --> 00:40:45,022
But I have found through meditation that
you know how people say, take your pulse
692
00:40:45,022 --> 00:40:49,912
and you got to find your, the vein on
your neck or the vein on your wrist,
693
00:40:49,942 --> 00:40:51,322
and then you can count the heartbeat.
694
00:40:51,812 --> 00:40:55,942
When you pay attention, you don't
need that because you can feel
695
00:40:55,942 --> 00:40:57,332
your heartbeat on your skin.
696
00:40:58,062 --> 00:41:05,432
So when he's in flow, when he is
absolutely focused across the table from
697
00:41:06,162 --> 00:41:10,362
his chest competitor or across the floor.
698
00:41:10,887 --> 00:41:15,927
You know, with his Tai Chi Chen
competitor, he can feel their breathing,
699
00:41:16,227 --> 00:41:22,127
he can feel the flicker of fear,
he can feel everything that they're
700
00:41:22,127 --> 00:41:26,277
feeling as if it's his own because
he's paying that close attention.
701
00:41:26,717 --> 00:41:30,897
And I, I think even as we're relying
more and more on technology to give
702
00:41:30,897 --> 00:41:36,087
us feedback, don't forget how powerful
we already are within our own body.
703
00:41:37,597 --> 00:41:39,777
Scott: body.
704
00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:45,827
When we started off this discussion,
why did we pick Josh Wadeskin?
705
00:41:45,907 --> 00:41:49,047
And part of it is you can learn a lot
from like we were talking about, like
706
00:41:49,047 --> 00:41:51,177
a, an autobiography or biography.
707
00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:54,137
He actually does have a lot
of techniques where he says,
708
00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:56,577
here's my, my toolkit for that.
709
00:41:57,317 --> 00:42:00,667
But one of the things I liked
about it is he's a model.
710
00:42:01,377 --> 00:42:04,967
Like he has a, there's a, I have a mental
image now of someone who knows how to
711
00:42:04,977 --> 00:42:09,347
get into flow based on his ability to.
712
00:42:09,782 --> 00:42:13,062
Go through all the things we
were just talking about and
713
00:42:13,272 --> 00:42:14,712
one of the reasons to pick him.
714
00:42:15,162 --> 00:42:15,822
I'm sorry you went
715
00:42:15,869 --> 00:42:18,882
Tali: just ask something as
you're mentioning the flow thing?
716
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:22,412
I thought one more thing I want
to talk about from the book that
717
00:42:22,412 --> 00:42:26,572
he shared with us that I think
would be really interesting is one.
718
00:42:26,867 --> 00:42:31,207
I remember when the kids were really
little, we were told that babies needed
719
00:42:31,397 --> 00:42:36,467
a quiet place to sleep that when it's
nap time, it's like the phone is off the
720
00:42:36,477 --> 00:42:41,487
you, you pull down the shade, you close
the door and it's like silence and quiet.
721
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:46,087
And you it's almost like you have
to create this environment in
722
00:42:46,097 --> 00:42:47,297
order to help your baby sleep.
723
00:42:47,797 --> 00:42:51,237
And he was talking about how when
he was playing chess, if there were
724
00:42:51,267 --> 00:42:55,582
external, um, Like interruptions.
725
00:42:55,592 --> 00:43:02,887
So, for example, when he was facing the
kid who was very, very, What's it called?
726
00:43:02,967 --> 00:43:05,047
Underhandedly tapping his
727
00:43:05,807 --> 00:43:06,487
Scott: his, uh,
728
00:43:06,507 --> 00:43:10,717
Tali: chest piece when he knew
that Josh was making a decision
729
00:43:10,717 --> 00:43:11,977
because he can read Josh too.
730
00:43:11,977 --> 00:43:18,937
That, that little imperceptible noise
was picked up by his subconscious
731
00:43:18,957 --> 00:43:20,527
mind and it distracted him.
732
00:43:20,997 --> 00:43:26,337
And then he said what he did going forward
was to train himself to be able to focus.
733
00:43:26,792 --> 00:43:28,152
in the middle of chaos.
734
00:43:28,262 --> 00:43:32,702
So he would turn up all different
genre of music and blast it in
735
00:43:32,702 --> 00:43:34,662
his room as he's trying to focus.
736
00:43:34,682 --> 00:43:37,332
And that was how he trained
his ability to focus.
737
00:43:37,362 --> 00:43:42,482
And I think that it's really important as
parents, we train our kids to be able to
738
00:43:42,482 --> 00:43:46,022
focus in the middle of chaos, because the
condition is never going to be perfect.
739
00:43:46,422 --> 00:43:50,237
And if we If we tell the kids that
conditions have to be perfect, as
740
00:43:50,247 --> 00:43:54,397
in turn off your music, as in pull
the shade down, you know, you have
741
00:43:54,397 --> 00:43:56,117
to sit in your chair and everything.
742
00:43:56,177 --> 00:43:57,177
Everybody has to be quiet.
743
00:43:57,177 --> 00:43:59,627
Everybody's a tiptoe
so that you can focus.
744
00:43:59,657 --> 00:44:03,497
Then then that's that's really
doing your child a disservice.
745
00:44:03,802 --> 00:44:04,172
Scott: Mm hmm.
746
00:44:04,422 --> 00:44:05,862
No, I, I agree with that.
747
00:44:05,972 --> 00:44:07,322
Um, it's interesting.
748
00:44:07,632 --> 00:44:10,392
So where, where I was going is.
749
00:44:11,682 --> 00:44:16,342
The one of the reasons to read
this book is he's interesting.
750
00:44:16,352 --> 00:44:20,582
He has a ton of really cool,
interesting stories throughout.
751
00:44:20,582 --> 00:44:24,192
This is not a, this is not a,
and then I did Y and then I
752
00:44:24,192 --> 00:44:25,762
did Z and then I did whatever.
753
00:44:26,482 --> 00:44:29,112
He has all kinds of
interesting stories in there.
754
00:44:29,122 --> 00:44:30,932
So it's real life.
755
00:44:31,132 --> 00:44:37,352
You can learn from it from, from a
parenting standpoint, you, you can, you
756
00:44:37,352 --> 00:44:39,062
can learn how to deal with stress better.
757
00:44:39,082 --> 00:44:41,952
We can learn how to deal with setbacks
better and distractions better.
758
00:44:41,962 --> 00:44:46,362
All of us can learn this even at a, as
an adult, we can do better with that.
759
00:44:47,312 --> 00:44:49,872
But there's also things you can
take away from it for your kids, no
760
00:44:49,872 --> 00:44:52,472
matter what, what level they're at.
761
00:44:52,842 --> 00:44:55,162
You just have to adapt what those.
762
00:44:56,482 --> 00:44:57,832
What those concepts are.
763
00:44:57,832 --> 00:45:01,072
So if you're trying to teach
how to embrace loss to, uh, an
764
00:45:01,072 --> 00:45:03,312
elementary age student, that's
probably gonna be different than.
765
00:45:04,067 --> 00:45:06,857
A middle aged student and the things
that you would ask in a high school,
766
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:08,442
Tali: necessarily embrace loss
767
00:45:09,137 --> 00:45:09,607
Scott: Yeah.
768
00:45:09,632 --> 00:45:11,032
Tali: learn from loss, I think.
769
00:45:11,317 --> 00:45:12,247
Scott: he embraced it.
770
00:45:13,217 --> 00:45:15,307
Yeah, that's what he
called the investment in,
771
00:45:15,512 --> 00:45:16,872
Tali: He called it investment in
772
00:45:17,117 --> 00:45:18,107
Scott: investment in loss.
773
00:45:18,322 --> 00:45:19,282
Tali: embracing loss.
774
00:45:19,407 --> 00:45:20,307
Scott: I took it.
775
00:45:21,037 --> 00:45:23,027
No, I took it as he's embracing loss.
776
00:45:23,047 --> 00:45:24,517
That was my interpretation of it.
777
00:45:25,247 --> 00:45:29,977
He, he was seeking that because he
knew that's how he would get better.
778
00:45:30,697 --> 00:45:31,937
He intentionally.
779
00:45:32,807 --> 00:45:39,117
What he would, those were the, he didn't
get better by just winning, right?
780
00:45:39,117 --> 00:45:42,177
He didn't get better by
having things come easy.
781
00:45:42,377 --> 00:45:45,987
All of his points where he got to the
next level were because he had a challenge
782
00:45:45,987 --> 00:45:47,597
and he had to overcome that challenge.
783
00:45:47,947 --> 00:45:48,747
It was the loss.
784
00:45:48,777 --> 00:45:49,627
It was a distraction.
785
00:45:49,627 --> 00:45:50,737
It was the feelings.
786
00:45:50,747 --> 00:45:53,167
It was not being able to
focus, whatever it was.
787
00:45:53,887 --> 00:45:58,607
I took it as he really embraces
it when he says, invest in loss.
788
00:45:58,807 --> 00:46:02,357
Like he's saying, instead of
me getting mad about this.
789
00:46:02,847 --> 00:46:04,977
Um, this is my fuel.
790
00:46:05,327 --> 00:46:06,417
This is making me better.
791
00:46:06,952 --> 00:46:11,592
Tali: he did describe it as
somebody when he would lose a game.
792
00:46:11,872 --> 00:46:14,442
He described it as somebody
ripping the heart out of his
793
00:46:14,442 --> 00:46:15,942
chest and stumping on it on
794
00:46:15,957 --> 00:46:17,287
Scott: floor.
795
00:46:17,287 --> 00:46:18,707
I would
796
00:46:18,952 --> 00:46:20,702
Tali: call it embracing loss.
797
00:46:20,712 --> 00:46:25,512
He literally is investing in loss so that
he can learn from loss so that he can win.
798
00:46:25,607 --> 00:46:27,217
Scott: did he do after he did that though?
799
00:46:28,887 --> 00:46:29,647
He didn't give up.
800
00:46:29,972 --> 00:46:32,992
Tali: He didn't give up, but he
did, he did emphasize the importance
801
00:46:32,992 --> 00:46:34,582
of stepping away from the game.
802
00:46:34,872 --> 00:46:37,982
So he talked about his, his
family taking him fishing.
803
00:46:38,282 --> 00:46:42,812
After big competitions, he would
just go on a boat and be on the
804
00:46:42,812 --> 00:46:47,837
beach and chase, you know, run around
with the, the The kids who were, who
805
00:46:47,837 --> 00:46:49,537
were there, they're his playmates.
806
00:46:49,537 --> 00:46:52,327
And he was able to really fully step away.
807
00:46:52,337 --> 00:46:56,907
And you know, when he said he would
come back from a competition, like some
808
00:46:57,007 --> 00:47:01,037
famous world competition and his friends
at school would just say, how'd it go?
809
00:47:01,037 --> 00:47:02,547
He'll say, I want to be like gay.
810
00:47:02,727 --> 00:47:04,307
And then they will be
outside playing football.
811
00:47:04,527 --> 00:47:08,467
You need that mental break
from this intensity of
812
00:47:08,586 --> 00:47:09,214
Scott: and competing
813
00:47:09,237 --> 00:47:11,127
Tali: learning and competing
and things like that.
814
00:47:11,127 --> 00:47:11,847
And I think that's.
815
00:47:12,012 --> 00:47:13,172
That's something that's important for
816
00:47:13,296 --> 00:47:14,238
Scott: but he, but
817
00:47:14,292 --> 00:47:15,002
Tali: know as well.
818
00:47:15,180 --> 00:47:18,432
Scott: what, when I mean embrace
it, yes, he had that break.
819
00:47:18,622 --> 00:47:21,672
He came back to it when he was
in a different, more calm state.
820
00:47:22,612 --> 00:47:25,852
But he still went through the tapes.
821
00:47:25,942 --> 00:47:27,342
He still went through his journal.
822
00:47:27,352 --> 00:47:30,112
He still went through whatever
feedback he could get.
823
00:47:30,822 --> 00:47:33,912
He didn't just take a break
and then come back and
824
00:47:34,552 --> 00:47:34,742
Tali: No,
825
00:47:34,822 --> 00:47:35,422
Scott: practicing.
826
00:47:35,472 --> 00:47:36,172
He was, he
827
00:47:36,302 --> 00:47:36,432
Tali: it.
828
00:47:36,442 --> 00:47:38,032
He faced his losses.
829
00:47:38,632 --> 00:47:40,472
He didn't shy away from his losses.
830
00:47:40,482 --> 00:47:42,352
He learned from his, his losses.
831
00:47:43,172 --> 00:47:44,562
And in that way he got
832
00:47:44,824 --> 00:47:45,919
Scott: he got better.
833
00:47:45,919 --> 00:47:46,284
Right.
834
00:47:46,284 --> 00:47:50,722
And I don't think most people, I'm
trying to use his words, I don't
835
00:47:50,722 --> 00:47:52,332
think most people would invest.
836
00:47:52,387 --> 00:47:57,937
That time to rip apart in
great detail, their losses.
837
00:47:59,287 --> 00:48:02,277
Most people would say they're
probably glad it's done.
838
00:48:03,287 --> 00:48:03,937
What does he do?
839
00:48:04,207 --> 00:48:08,697
He embraces it and he goes back and
says, I'm going to go work through this.
840
00:48:08,747 --> 00:48:10,127
I'm going to figure out what happened.
841
00:48:11,477 --> 00:48:14,127
And yeah, he had a lot of moments
where things didn't go his way,
842
00:48:14,447 --> 00:48:19,337
but that's, I mean, that's part of
why this is an interesting read.
843
00:48:21,437 --> 00:48:22,577
Tali: I can't remember who it was.
844
00:48:22,607 --> 00:48:24,067
It might have been Zig Ziglar.
845
00:48:25,197 --> 00:48:29,067
Uh, he's the sales coach and
the, the phrase goes like this.
846
00:48:29,437 --> 00:48:34,247
If you want to, if you want to succeed
faster, you got to fail even faster.
847
00:48:34,977 --> 00:48:35,297
Scott: Right.
848
00:48:35,307 --> 00:48:38,347
Tali: If you want to succeed
fast, you got to fail even faster.
849
00:48:38,357 --> 00:48:38,667
Scott: Right.
850
00:48:39,167 --> 00:48:39,307
Yeah.
851
00:48:40,347 --> 00:48:43,557
That, that to me is
investing in, in the loss.
852
00:48:43,567 --> 00:48:46,517
So if you teach, if you teach
your kids that, or you learn that.
853
00:48:47,562 --> 00:48:50,612
Then yeah, there's, you're not going to
go through life and not have setbacks.
854
00:48:50,782 --> 00:48:53,162
So your, your choice is
what do you do about it?
855
00:48:53,992 --> 00:48:54,252
Right.
856
00:48:54,252 --> 00:48:58,612
And he, if you, if you read this
book and you're inspired, maybe
857
00:48:58,672 --> 00:49:04,642
you can learn to invest in loss
and use it to make you yourself
858
00:49:04,642 --> 00:49:07,672
better, use it to advance your goals.
859
00:49:08,442 --> 00:49:11,472
So I'm just saying, that's how I took
it that he's embracing this thing.
860
00:49:11,512 --> 00:49:11,782
That,
861
00:49:11,882 --> 00:49:12,362
Tali: Okay.
862
00:49:12,632 --> 00:49:16,962
So, so I would encourage.
863
00:49:17,947 --> 00:49:22,887
For the homeschoolers out there, I would
encourage you to use living books like
864
00:49:22,897 --> 00:49:26,867
this as much as possible because you can
have lots of really lively discussions
865
00:49:26,867 --> 00:49:28,437
with your kids at the dinner table.
866
00:49:28,897 --> 00:49:32,127
They will take away from it
what they need in that moment.
867
00:49:32,467 --> 00:49:37,597
And the beauty of hearing lessons in
story form is that we remember them.
868
00:49:38,167 --> 00:49:40,907
Because if you just give them a
lecture and you just give them the
869
00:49:40,917 --> 00:49:42,737
nuggets, they're not going to remember.
870
00:49:42,767 --> 00:49:45,872
But if you tell them the
story when they need it.
871
00:49:46,482 --> 00:49:47,472
It'll come up for them.
872
00:49:47,822 --> 00:49:50,042
So yeah, more living books.
873
00:49:50,422 --> 00:49:51,442
Check out this one.
874
00:49:51,802 --> 00:49:51,992
Scott: It's a
875
00:49:52,162 --> 00:49:53,212
Tali: It's a great read.
876
00:49:53,542 --> 00:49:56,482
And, um, I really think that
the family can have some
877
00:49:56,482 --> 00:49:57,832
really interesting discussions.
878
00:49:57,873 --> 00:49:58,760
Scott: really interesting discussions.
879
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,536
I think that is perfect advice.
880
00:50:00,536 --> 00:50:05,172
Yeah, the more living books and then
having the discussions about them so that
881
00:50:05,172 --> 00:50:09,622
you can actually get, you know, literally
have a human discussion, not be on there
882
00:50:09,622 --> 00:50:11,162
just texting or whatever people do now.
883
00:50:11,162 --> 00:50:15,552
So um, I think we wrap up right
there because that, that's what
884
00:50:15,552 --> 00:50:18,602
I would take away from this thing
is if you don't, don't trust us,
885
00:50:18,852 --> 00:50:20,312
verify, get the book yourself.
886
00:50:20,552 --> 00:50:22,792
And if you don't, then get
a different living book.
887
00:50:22,822 --> 00:50:29,312
But the concept of using them, like you
said, It's a huge, hugely effective way
888
00:50:30,032 --> 00:50:31,942
of reaching others and making an impact.
889
00:50:32,622 --> 00:50:35,312
Plus you get to learn some
pretty interesting stuff.
890
00:50:35,372 --> 00:50:37,332
Well, thank you everybody
for, for joining us.
891
00:50:37,362 --> 00:50:39,002
We'll be back next week until then.
892
00:50:39,202 --> 00:50:40,182
See you, see you later.