Welcome to the first episode of the Smart ADHD Podcast, where we dive deep into the world of ADHD, especially for the smart and creative. I'm your host, Ian Anderson Gray, and in this episode, we're exploring the fundamental question: What actually is ADHD?

We're joined by the insightful Dr. Tamara Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken" and a beacon of knowledge and support in the ADHD community. With a rich background spanning education, leadership consulting, and ADHD coaching, Dr. Rosier brings a wealth of experience and empathy to our discussion.

Key Points Discussed:

• Introduction to ADHD: We start with the basics, breaking down the misconceptions and stigmas surrounding ADHD. Dr. Rosier explains it as a neurological difference, not a defect, highlighting the challenges and strengths that come with it.
• Emotional Regulation and ADHD: A significant focus is placed on emotional regulation, or often the lack thereof, in individuals with ADHD. Dr. Rosier shares personal anecdotes and professional insights into how this core challenge affects daily life.
• The ADHD Brain Explained: The conversation delves into the neurological aspects of ADHD, emphasizing the unreliable access to the prefrontal cortex and how it impacts executive functions, emotional responses, and daily tasks.
• ADHD and Intelligence: Addressing a common myth, Dr. Rosier speaks about the relationship between ADHD and intelligence, reassuring that ADHD does not preclude one from being smart or successful.
• Living with ADHD: Both Ian and Dr. Rosier share their journeys and struggles with ADHD, offering a candid look into the realities of navigating life, relationships, and work with this condition.
• Looking Ahead: The episode wraps up with a look forward to Dr. Rosier's upcoming book, "You, Me, And Our ADHD Family," and the importance of understanding ADHD within familial and personal relationships.

Hello, I'm Ian Anderson Gray, and this is the smart ADHD podcast.

Now if you're a smart, creative entrepreneur or business owner

navigating your life with ADHD, This is the podcast for you.

Now, I'm no ADHD expert, but I'm eager to share my story on what I've learned

by talking with experts, as well as digging into the personal ADHD stories of

successful creatives and entrepreneurs.

I was diagnosed at age 46, and it answered so many questions in my life.

But of course, that was in many ways, only the start of my journey.

So let's learn together.

Smart stories, smart strategies, smart ADHD.

Hello!

Welcome to the Smart ADHD Podcast.

I'm Ian Anderson Gray and I'm your host as we navigate into the world

of having ADHD and being smart and the combination of those.

in this episode We're going to be asking the question, what actually is ADHD?

Because there's so many myths, misconceptions, there is

a stigma attached as well.

And I'm very excited because my guest today, the first guest of

Smart ADHD, is a good friend of mine.

And she's also our family ADHD coach.

It's Dr.

Tamara Rosier.

She's written a book called Your Brain's Not Broken, which I highly recommend.

It is really the book to read right at the start of your journey, I would say.

But she's got other books as well.

Now she's had a diverse professional journey, encompassing roles such as

a college administrator, professor, leadership consultant, high school

teacher, ADHD coach, and business owner.

And we're laughing because there's quite an ADHD career there,

because I can empathize with that.

I've had lots of different jobs, different roles throughout my life.

Now, through these varied experiences, she's gained invaluable insights into

ADHD and its impact on individuals lives.

As the founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, Tamara guides a

dedicated team of coaches, therapists and speech pathologists in assisting

individuals, parents and families as they develop a deep understanding

of themselves and acquire practical skills to navigate life with ADHD.

Her books, Your Brain's Not Broken, and the new one, which will be coming

out later this year, You, Me, And our ADHD family offer practical strategies

for addressing the potent emotional dimensions of living with ADHD.

let's get on with the episode right now.

So welcome Tamra.

It's great to have you on this first episode of the podcast.

We've known each other for quite a while, haven't we?

And, just a bit of an intro.

So I think I discovered you on YouTube.

There was, some kind of class you were doing on there.

And then you came on my other podcast, the confident live marketing podcast.

This was before I even realized I had ADHD.

And I think one of the first things you said to me, something like, I

think you said something like, you're my people or something like that.

I can't remember what you said.

Has been a while, hasn't it?

Yeah, that was an ADHD blur.

Yeah, and then we became friends from there.

I love having you as a friend.

I think you're so creative, so smart.

Yes, I did an a ADHD blurry thing.

when I meet my people, I tend to go, oh, I found one of, one of my people.

And I, that was a like, you're one of me.

I was trying to, it's one of those things where you're trying to like, put

back the words, just suck it all back.

So it, yeah,

Sally just blurts out.

It all comes out and, you've, become, you, are helping us,

helping me, helping my family.

your.

Our ADHD coach and we've learned so much.

It's been amazing.

So thank you so much.

And thank you.

Also, I don't know whether to thank you about this, but you're partly

to thank for this podcast for giving me the encouragement to launch this.

So I really appreciate that.

So this is this podcast is all about being smart with ADHD.

But before we get started with any of that, we have to ask the question.

Seems a really basic question to ask you because, you've written two amazing books.

I've read one of them, the second one hasn't come out yet as I

record this, but what is ADHD?

So ADHD is coming a long way because when we were diagnosing several

years ago, we couldn't see the brain.

Now we can see the brain.

And we understand ADHD now as a neurological difference.

ADHD really, it stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.

And that's really an unfortunate name, because that's you might

as well say Naughty Boy Disease.

we don't have a Naughty Boy Disease.

What we have is a neurological difference.

It's not a preference.

I don't prefer to have ADHD, by the way.

But, I have a neurological difference.

And so I'm going to explain it neurologically.

And then from symptoms, okay?

Neurologically, we don't, those of us with ADHD, don't have reliable

access to the prefrontal cortex.

And for those of you who are only listening, if you tap the front of your

forehead, where the prefrontal cortex is.

And the prefrontal cortex of the brain is really important.

It's this modern amenity that we have to remember where we parked our

car, to think through things, okay?

To emotionally regulate it's the seat of all these executive function And you

remember that because we've talked a lot about that and you can see it before we

started recording you said how's your day?

I'm like, oh my gosh, I've had a bad day so far, you know I've only been awake

for three hours, but I can't believe how many things could go wrong today And

because I don't have a prefrontal cortex to calm it all down to go That's fine.

That's a nuisance.

That's not a big deal.

That's a small deal.

Let it go.

It all felt big and overwhelming.

And so for those of us with ADHD, with an unreliable access to that

prefrontal cortex, we rely on a different part of our brain, and

that's called the limbic system.

If you place your hand over your ear, that's approximately

where the limbic system is.

And the limbic system is really important.

Mammals have this, and it's what keeps us safe.

And so it's this little learning system going.

Oh my goodness, am I safe?

Am I in danger?

What's happening?

And so those of us with ADHD have this constant alerting system going off.

So when I was having a frazzled morning, my prefrontal cortex, and I didn't take

stimulants yet because they weren't in my body yet, it was morning, it's morning

here, my limbic system was going, wah, wah, I think everything's dangerous.

And I couldn't get a dog to go outside.

I stubbed my toe several times this morning.

it's just one of those, if you followed me around, you would think,

wow, is she doing a bit right now?

Like a comedic bit.

And it's the whole time I'm thinking, I've got to hurry.

I've got to do this and do this.

And for a second, my brain was like, you're in danger.

This is, important.

You're in danger now.

And so because I know I have ADHD, I took a deep breath, talked to my

brain and said, Hey, this is ADHD.

You're getting confused right now.

You're not in danger.

Try to take a deep breath and calm down.

So neurologically, I just explained how I went through the morning.

If a person did not have ADHD.

They would have probably had oh, I stubbed my toe.

that's, first of all, they may not have stubbed their toe.

They may have more body awareness, but they would see it as, this

is just irritating and not have the big emotions attached to it.

Some symptoms of ADHD.

We tend to hear a lot about focus, but really that's not

the biggest symptom of ADHD.

Emotional regulation is the biggest symptom of ADHD.

And our inability to attach moderate emotions to things,

that's what really suffers.

So our emotions, and Ian you know this, we go from 1 to 10, right?

And we forget about the 4, 5, 6 range of intensity.

And for all the listeners who just went, Oh, yes, that's, a

lot of what ADHD feels like.

there's our other things, though.

We have problems with short attention.

Our short term memories, Our working memories are compromised.

Working memories are like that little board you have in your head

that you can scribble something on and hold it there for a second.

And I don't know about you, Ian, but mine is a very small board, and I can't write a

lot on it, and it gets erased very easily.

So my working memory is even compromised.

Is it a bit like those etch sketches that we are that it's like you draw

this painting and then your brother comes in or your sister and they

shake it all up and it's all gone.

That's exactly our working memory is like an etch a sketch.

That is what you should get your t shirts.

Yeah,

definitely.

And I think you may have written this in your book that your brain's not broken.

I can't remember, but there's, it's the prefrontal cortex is almost like a

butler that you can get to do things.

I don't know if that's something that you mentioned, but sometimes you can

have say, okay, Butler, get, the keys.

Can you find the keys?

And for neurotypical people, I almost hear this Jeeves like voice.

Certainly, sir.

Yes, you will find them in the, in the hallway.

But if you're like, if you're ADHD, it's like cricket, it's

just there's nothing going on.

It's worse.

Because instead of Jeeves answering, first of all, you did a great impression.

And that will stay in my memory.

we actually have an angry neighbor screaming at us, over his fence, shaking

his shoe, saying if you don't find your keys, I'm going to throw them at you.

Or throw this at you.

And he's threatening us.

That's what it's like to have ADHD.

I want the Colm Butler.

I want the Colm Butler.

We want Jeeves.

In fact, your impersonation is so Beautiful.

The other thing that you were talking about, talking about your, bad,

start to the day, and hopefully it's only going to get better

because we're doing this podcast.

Oh, I'm with you now.

Yep.

Yeah.

So it's, I almost, I don't know, I'm a big Star Wars fan.

I just imagine like on a spaceship and the sirens are going and it's like warning.

it's like all these things going on, fire alarms, smoke alarms

all going off at the same time.

as well.

I wanted to ask you though, we talked about what ADHD is and this podcast

is focusing on smart individuals.

And so what is the connection between ADHD and smart individuals

and people with high intelligence?

We're going to focus a little bit more on that on a future episode, because I think

a lot of people think that people with ADHD can't be smart or people with ADHD

sometimes question their own intelligence.

Okay, so you know I'm very excited about this new project of yours and

one of the reasons I'm so excited is one of the specialties I have is I work

with high IQ people who have ADHD and I feel like this group suffers so much

shame and self loathing because of it.

So first of all ADHD is a neurological difference.

Okay.

IQ is based on so many different things.

Some of it's hereditary.

a lot of it's, environmental.

Carol Dweck talks about how you can increase your IQ, all

that through growth mindset.

So I find my clients who have high IQ, which means let's just

talk about his firepower for now.

They have a lot of mental firepower.

The problem is they have this mental firepower, man,

I can think through things.

Idiots.

Idiots.

They don't have a Jeeves to order it for them, right?

So they have all these brilliant ideas, and they just need a butler to

just say, Sir, that's a great idea.

Could you write that down and then continue doing this project first?

Because that's what our prefrontal cortex does.

And so these individuals with high firepower live lives of feeling like

they never reach their potential.

They shame themselves to motivate them.

I wrote about that in my first book.

Some of them hate themselves and they're angry all the time at themselves.

And so it's a painful existence.

And it's why I work with this population because I see their pain.

And by the way, I have ADHD.

You're outing yourself with this podcast and I need to tell you there

are people who Still say to me.

how can you have ADHD and have a PhD write a book and do all these things, right?

Run a business and it's because I've learned how to manage my ADHD, right?

I'm still a hot mess like today Yeah, I was a hot mess, right?

Executive functions.

I had none.

I was just like, I felt like I was flailing in a pool, right?

But it's hard because now I could take that morning and go, see Tamara,

that's evidence on how dumb you are.

You can't even handle a morning.

You must not be that smart and a lot of people with high IQ have imposter

syndrome like yeah I've done this but if you guys really followed me around

I look a bit like Lucille Ball She's a 1950 actress who did a lot of physical

humor And, bumping into things and that's what I look like sometimes

I've had similar issues.

I think imposter syndrome is a biggie.

We'll be talking about that on this podcast and, good bit of self loathing.

So that's the six bad tools that you've talked about before.

And again, we'll talk about that.

But actually, there's A video that took a little bit of what you were saying

from the last podcast where you were talking about the six bad tools that's

on the smart ADHD YouTube channel when it came to this podcast, I was quite

apprehensive, very apprehensive to launch this because in a sense, I'm

nailing my what's it what's the analogy?

I always get the wrong.

The mast, the colors to the mast or whatever it is, I don't know anyway,

whatever it is, I've also had, I've had people that have said to me, people

that I really respect who've said Ian, is it a good idea for you to launch?

a channel talking about ADHD because We all know people who say they

have ADHD who are always late.

They're under liable And they're not going to get hired by business owners,

And so i've had that concern and then it's the whole label issue ADHD part of

my identity and all those kind of things and so i've had on one side I've had all

of those kind of negative thoughts, but on the other hand I've had Because of all

the struggles that I've had, and I know so many people that are struggling at

the moment with ADHD, smart individuals, I feel that the time is right just

to, we need, these people need help.

And I'm, so excited.

I'm excited about this.

And I almost feel I haven't really got a choice.

I have to do this for the negative stuff that I'm thinking about.

The amount of excitement that I have is almost equal to that.

But I just wanted to know what your thoughts on some of those.

Things that I've been feeling.

Are those kind of typical?

I have so many thoughts.

First of all, I am proud of you.

This is incredibly courageous to do.

When I started the ADHD Center of West Michigan, I didn't

realize I was gonna out myself.

And people did say things to me, on the sidelines of a soccer game, at

my child's soccer game, Oh, don't give them to Tamara, she has ADHD.

And so people do say careless things.

And, I'm standing there going, Wait a minute, I run a business, I have a PhD,

and you're still treating me like I'm 12?

By the way, I didn't want to hold whatever she was saying.

Anyway, but it was still an insult, right?

And a lot of us carry this weight of those little micro cuts, those careless little

things of, Ian can't do that, he has ADHD.

And then sometimes they might even be accurate, and we're embarrassed.

And that is not representative of our intelligence, though.

That's talking about our executive functions.

And so I help my clients understand your executive

functions are poor and guess what?

Your executive functions are poor.

That's not you.

That's not how smart you are, but we need to find ways to work with your,

yourself to compensate for this.

What you're feeling is real and yet I think there's a whole bunch of people

out there who need the hope that you're going to give them to go, Hey, let's just

figure out this neurological difference.

Let's just figure this out.

And you've met your people, so let's hang out together.

And let's celebrate who we are and keep getting better.

It's just you wear glasses.

That's not a moral issue that you wear glasses.

Your eyes are shaped in different ways.

I don't know all the different things about eyes, but your

eyes are shaped differently.

The lens is pushed in a different direction and you

use glasses to correct it.

That's not a moral issue.

And what we do is we make ADHD a moral issue instead of just

a neurological difference.

Yeah, I think you're picking up, should I be coming out about this?

people think this is a moral thing.

Does that make sense or ring true with you?

It does.

It does make sense.

And, of course, the other thing is that there are people with ADHD keep

very quiet about it because they're worried about being judged about it.

And they may not be hired for a job because there is

this stigma attached to it.

And maybe we'll come on to that in the next episode.

But there is still a lot of so many myths and there's a stigma attached to ADHD.

Which could mean that Some people might not even hire you because

they're worried about you not turning up or things like that.

But I think that is one, another reason why I want to, why I'm

launching this podcast because that's not always the case.

Because particularly if you're a smart ADHD, We have learned

strategies, not all of them good.

And this is something that you help with.

But some of them are, some of them are good and we can at least

turn the bad ones into good ones.

And there are advantages.

It's not always a superpower, but there are big advantages.

There's the always get the divergent and convergent mixed up.

But I think it's divergent thinking, isn't it?

Thinking outside the box as well.

That's what this podcast is all about.

I love that you're doing this.

This is an important work that you're doing.

And I'm hoping that your listeners will start to bond with the fact that I'm okay.

I titled my book, Your Brain's Not Broken, because it was a letter

to all the clients I would never beat, just saying, you're okay.

You're going to be okay.

I know you feel, I know you feel like garbage right now,

but you're going to be okay.

And that's what I love about this podcast.

I think that's the ethos behind what you're doing here.

It definitely is.

There is hope.

So your brain is not broken.

I was still laughing at that you were on a podcast episode where the

host got it the wrong way around and said your brain is broken.

But there is hope and that book is amazing.

It's such a helpful book.

There's so many analogies that you come up with, and I know that

it has helped so many people.

You've got another book coming out.

What we're going to do, Tamara, actually, we're going to, I was going to ask you

about myths and misconceptions, but we've, covered so many, so much good

material, we've actually run out of time.

We're trying to keep these episodes really short and tell listeners answer a bit more

about this new book that you've got coming out because I'm really excited about that.

Oh, thank you.

I really appreciate that.

it's called you, me and our ADHD family.

ADHD is highly hereditary.

So if there's one ADHD person, you can usually find more.

my dad was a good example.

when I was in college, I called home and said, Hey, I'm learning

about this thing called ADHD.

I was, trained as a teacher and he's no, that's just a made up disease.

everyone has it.

That's normal.

You know what?

In my house, it was normal.

I had two parents with ADHD.

Now the problem is, as I talked about earlier in this episode, one of the number

one symptoms is emotional dysregulation.

The book is about how do you live in a family when you have ADHD.

when your chief symptom is emotional dysregulation.

How do you get your stuff together and learn to truly live and love

with the people you're related to?

I can speak from experience there, and you've been incredibly helpful to us, and

I can't wait for this book to come out.

So it may have already come out.

If you're listening to this in the future, do check it out.

It's available from all good bookstores.

I'm excited for you, Tamar.

It's great.

We are out of time.

Thank you so much, Tamara.

I'm really excited to have you back on some future episodes,

but we'll see you next time.

Anytime.

Thanks.

I hope you enjoyed that episode.

Do check out the next few episodes.

And all the information is on our YouTube channel at SmartADHD.

Just search YouTube for SmartADHD.

And also the website is SmartADHD.

com.

Dot me scattered across the interwebs and the socials as well.

So we'd love to connect.

Do send me an email at Ian at smart ADHD dot me.

I'd love to hear from you.

If you have any thoughts or stories or anything like that, don't

hesitate to get in touch, but until next time, I'll see you soon.

Toodaloo.

Bye.