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WHAT IS TRUE LOVE?
Episode 4918th October 2023 • Shining Brightly • Howard Brown
00:00:00 00:30:42

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ROMANCE, LOVE AND DATING – SWIPE RIGHT AND LEFT. In Episode 48 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show titled WHAT IS TRUE LOVE? I am joined by the amazing and energetic “CUPID WHISPERER” Ry Duong. How do you start in the cultivation of True Love?  We discuss self-love for the individual and the couple. Ry helps you shine on your first date and more. Should you split the check or kiss on the first date? Respect, honesty and communication are vital. Relationships are a team sport. Check out Ry’s upcoming LOVE summit – From Heartbreak to "Happily Ever After" - Wednesday, October 25th, at 11.00 AM to Friday, October 27th, at 7.00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada) (sign up link in the comments). Come download, listen, share and review this fun filled show all about finding TRUE LOVE!

Mentioned Resources –

Website: https://Leaderfortruelove.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ry.duong.940

Instagram: @leader_for_true_love

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leaderfortruelove/

Free gift: 3 Qualities For Long-Term Relationship PDF

https://highcaliberconnectionsforum.now.site/home

30 minute - Free Love Assessment

Booking Link https://calendly.com/leaderfortruelove

LOVE summit – From Heartbreak to "Happily Ever After" - Wednesday, October 25th, at 11.00 AM to Friday, October 27th, at 7.00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

https://from-heartbreak-to-summit-2310.eventraptor.com/

About the Guest – Ry Duong, also known as the Cupid Whisperer and Leader for True Love, is a relationship coach with a passion for helping single women attract their ideal partners. Having overcome personal struggles and witnessed the devastating impact of heartbreak, Ry is dedicated to empowering others to find love and create fulfilling relationships. With a track record of success stories, Ry understands the challenges of dating firsthand and brings a unique perspective to her coaching approach. Her mission is to guide individuals towards finding compatible, lasting love and living their dreams.


About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

Website

Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

Social Media

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown

Instagram - @howard.brown.36


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Transcripts

Howard Brown:

Hello, it's Howard Brown. Welcome to the Shining

Howard Brown:

Brightly show. All your Maestro at the mic. I've got a good one

Howard Brown:

today. Relationships. It makes the world go round. Oh my

Howard Brown:

goodness, it's such an important topic. Ry Duong Thank you.

Howard Brown:

Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Look at your bright and

Howard Brown:

shiny smile. You're already shining brightly. So welcome to

Howard Brown:

my show.

Ry Duong:

Thank you so much, Howard for having me. I'm just

Ry Duong:

honoured to be in your present.

Howard Brown:

Well, we just did your live stream, which was

Howard Brown:

amazing. Because you got to feature you know, my actually

Howard Brown:

relationship and romance and lifelong partner, Lisa, my wife

Howard Brown:

and chapter six of my book. So thank you. So let me back on

Howard Brown:

here. This is amazing. I have to tell people about you because

Howard Brown:

your energy is amazing. Okay, you bring it all the time. And I

Howard Brown:

am just so appreciative of that. So this is gonna be a high

Howard Brown:

powered show. So Ry Duong, also known as the cupid whisperer,

Howard Brown:

leader, for true love this, it's so important. You are a

Howard Brown:

relationship coach with a passion for helping single women

Howard Brown:

attract their ideal partners, hopefully single men too,

Howard Brown:

because they got to have that core, or maybe even same

Howard Brown:

partners. You know, we live in a modern world. But having

Howard Brown:

overcome some personal struggles, you witnessed

Howard Brown:

devastating impact and heartbreak yourself. You're

Howard Brown:

dedicated to empowering others to find love and create that

Howard Brown:

fulfilment in relationship really hard. So you need we all

Howard Brown:

need help with that. Your track record of success stories of

Howard Brown:

helping people connect, you understand that challenges of

Howard Brown:

dating firsthand. And you bring a very unique perspective to

Howard Brown:

your coaching. And your mission is to guide individuals to

Howard Brown:

finding compatibility, lasting love and living their dreams.

Howard Brown:

That is so beautiful. Now, here's the question, tell my

Howard Brown:

listeners something they might not know about you.

Ry Duong:

Oh, I actually, I am Cambodian. And I speak four

Ry Duong:

languages. So English, French, Cambodian, and Vietnamese. So

Ry Duong:

now over the time, yes, over the time, like I use the spoke

Ry Duong:

fluently Vietnamese, but since I have not spoken for 30 years, I

Ry Duong:

can only understand it's harder the accent now to speak. But it

Ry Duong:

wouldn't take me long if I like let's say I immersed with

Ry Duong:

Vietnamese for like, the next two months, and then I'll come

Ry Duong:

back.

Howard Brown:

Okay, here. We're gonna go on off script here. I

Howard Brown:

want to actually in each language say love, love. Love.

Howard Brown:

Alright, so Cambodian. How would you say love?

Ry Duong:

Um, I'm going to start with the French one.

Howard Brown:

Um, okay. Um, all right.

Ry Duong:

And then and then in Cambodian salaam salon. Okay. I

Ry Duong:

don't know what that one would be what it would be now. I can

Ry Duong:

only understand when they speak now.

Howard Brown:

That's okay. That's all right. I just because

Howard Brown:

every The reason I did that is every language has love.

Ry Duong:

Yes. It really is

Howard Brown:

It's universal. That was why I did that. I hope

Howard Brown:

I didn't catch you off guard there. No, it's all good. All

Howard Brown:

right. So I have to tell you, you have to have a background.

Howard Brown:

You just don't appear one day and become you know, this. Cupid

Howard Brown:

whisperer and relationship coach. So take us over, give us

Howard Brown:

a little background. What brought you to that?

Ry Duong:

Absolutely. So I as a child, I've always been into

Ry Duong:

like romantic movies. I'm a hopeless romantic, you know. And

Ry Duong:

but I never really knew that that would actually lead me to

Ry Duong:

the path of where I am right now. I've always been obsessed

Ry Duong:

and passionate about that by fingers own my own personal

Ry Duong:

life. And so about three years ago, when I actually lost my

Ry Duong:

little baby sister to the pression, she suffered from a

Ry Duong:

heartbreak and you know, challenges and different things.

Ry Duong:

So she left this world. And so I saw that, I can either lay down

Ry Duong:

on the ground and go because we were like, twin sisters. She was

Ry Duong:

seven years she was the baby. I'm the oldest. But we were so

Ry Duong:

connected. She was my yin to my Yang. So we brought the best out

Ry Duong:

of each other. And so when she left this where I felt like a

Ry Duong:

part of me left, I don't feel that anymore. But when she did

Ry Duong:

leave at that point, I realised, okay, here's life throwing you

Ry Duong:

adversity, you can either stay down on the ground, or you pick

Ry Duong:

yourself up at that time, I couldn't pick myself up, I was

Ry Duong:

crawling. And I said, I'm getting us I'm gonna celebrate

Ry Duong:

the 30 years that I have this amazing 30 years that I have

Ry Duong:

with her, us that love because we were so tight and create

Ry Duong:

something magical. So I started the business on relationship. I

Ry Duong:

was already I was a trained social worker already. I'm

Ry Duong:

working in the field for decades. And I said well, I want

Ry Duong:

to be able to really focus hone in on love because I want her

Ry Duong:

legacy to to continue To tell the story so the hummingbird is

Ry Duong:

her before she left, she brought me a bracelet. And we both had

Ry Duong:

matching bracelet that says you are making a difference in this

Ry Duong:

world. And it had the hummingbird, which is the

Ry Duong:

carrier of joy and happiness and love to people's life. And so

Ry Duong:

that moment on, it woke me up. I was in a 17 years relationship

Ry Duong:

that was quite toxic in a lot of denial, and we went through a

Ry Duong:

couple of therapy, but when she left this world, I realised that

Ry Duong:

life is too short. I don't want to live another 510 years, not

Ry Duong:

living to my full authentic self and having the love that I saw

Ry Duong:

wants so,

Howard Brown:

so deserve, I want to just tell you that that

Howard Brown:

hummingbird and honouring your baby sister's memory is

Howard Brown:

beautiful. And this is why we're so aligned raised because I

Howard Brown:

teach in my survivorship to get back up again, I have to

Howard Brown:

whatever life throws you, okay, but sometimes it's a slow

Howard Brown:

process. It isn't always overnight, you don't lose 75

Howard Brown:

pounds in two days if you're going on a diet. And so it's a

Howard Brown:

process and I'm sure she's still in your heart, but you're

Howard Brown:

honouring her by having the hummingbird looking over you

Howard Brown:

right now. And I love it. It's just beautiful. And then you got

Howard Brown:

married very young at 21. And then had to come into the dating

Howard Brown:

world later on after 17 years. So you have the experience and

Howard Brown:

your social work experience as well. So thank you for sharing

Howard Brown:

that as well. But here's the question. How do you find true

Howard Brown:

love? And you actually call it how do you cultivate true love?

Howard Brown:

And I love that word? Yes. Where do you start?

Ry Duong:

Yeah, so for me, it really everything is all

Ry Duong:

internal, everything that you put out in the world, it's

Ry Duong:

almost like it's an illusion of what you see out there. But

Ry Duong:

everything gets manifested from inside. And I always knew that

Ry Duong:

as a kid, like I My grandfather was a monk. And before he

Ry Duong:

actually gave up the the lifestyle of being a monk and

Ry Duong:

then got married. But so I've always always at the temple and

Ry Duong:

learning all these moral philosophy, I get very obsessed,

Ry Duong:

like when I go to the temple, in fact, today is the Cambodian

Ry Duong:

Halloween celebration. So my parents actually at the temple,

Ry Duong:

I'm doing this podcast with you. So I'm in there, and spirit and

Ry Duong:

here with you today. And so, I've always learned that

Ry Duong:

anything of what you want must start from within. And so if you

Ry Duong:

want to cultivate true love, true love means it's a deep

Ry Duong:

connection within yourself, where there's actually you are

Ry Duong:

selfless when it comes to either loving yourself having that

Ry Duong:

unconditional self love, it starts within, if you want to

Ry Duong:

overflow to other people, you have to be good and comfortable

Ry Duong:

in your own skin and feeling okay with your imperfection. And

Ry Duong:

so that you can pour onto the love to other people. So this

Ry Duong:

way, it allows you to track that ideal mate, that perfect partner

Ry Duong:

who will also matches and align with your values. So true love

Ry Duong:

to me, it's really about how do I accept myself with all of my

Ry Duong:

facet. And then it's having that unconditional self love to love

Ry Duong:

another human being as who they are giving them that space to

Ry Duong:

exist. And the two of you work as a partnership on this journey

Ry Duong:

through life.

Howard Brown:

Yeah, it's teamwork, I have to say. So I

Howard Brown:

deliver a keynote called look in the mirror. And I have to tell

Howard Brown:

you, what resonated with me as you're talking and saying this

Howard Brown:

is that most people do not like what they see on the mirror.

Howard Brown:

They only look at the imperfections. They look at what

Howard Brown:

they're lacking. And we're in a society today of influencers,

Howard Brown:

you know, a Barbie models and perfection. And the truth is

Howard Brown:

that we're all imperfect. We're all broken in some way. And it's

Howard Brown:

up to you to repair it. So but coming out of the pandemic,

Howard Brown:

loneliness, depression was prevalent. And I have to tell

Howard Brown:

you, you know, being a two time stage four cancer survivor, I

Howard Brown:

look in the mirror and I say I am blessed. I am grateful. And I

Howard Brown:

am lucky. And it's time to help others, because I help others

Howard Brown:

basically helps me help myself. And so you actually work with

Howard Brown:

individuals, women, but also and do you also work with couples?

Ry Duong:

I do. I work with couples. I've worked a lot in

Ry Duong:

the past with couples and now I'm doing couple and mostly in

Ry Duong:

the video because I have a lot of women that are coming to me

Ry Duong:

who are like going on these dating app. And one of the

Ry Duong:

things that I noticed is that there's so much predator out

Ry Duong:

there with these dating system, you know, they have scripts and

Ry Duong:

they can easily really get the woman hooked and then you know,

Ry Duong:

put them in a very vulnerable position. And so I want to be

Ry Duong:

able to help equally men as women to really navigate that

Ry Duong:

dating system. Going through that app, how to decode the

Ry Duong:

behaviour that is being, you know, in the chat, because I

Ry Duong:

have my clients, they're going on day, they like to have advice

Ry Duong:

on how do I show up? How do I dress up? How should I be? What

Ry Duong:

should I do, like, say in terms of the conversation to get him

Ry Duong:

flowing. And I always tell them, it's very, very important when

Ry Duong:

you show up on these days to truly be who you are showing the

Ry Duong:

best asset of who you are, but being real, because oftentimes,

Ry Duong:

we're so eager to try to please the other person, that we lose

Ry Duong:

yourself. And so you're not really connecting, where it's

Ry Duong:

actually aligned with one another. So they text me when

Ry Duong:

they're on these date, or when they get a phone call from the

Ry Duong:

guy that put me on speakers. And I listened through it, and I

Ry Duong:

decode what he's really saying, and how she should be

Ry Duong:

responding, you know, so it's a lot of fun for me,

Howard Brown:

I bet. And so I have to tell you that, you know,

Howard Brown:

I didn't grow up with any of that I'm a little older, right?

Howard Brown:

I've been married for 29 years, and only Son for 31 years. So

Howard Brown:

the online dating started, you know, on the computer, you know,

Howard Brown:

web based, and now it's swipe right, swipe left. And I gotta

Howard Brown:

tell you, it's a little confusing to me. And then, you

Howard Brown:

know, I guess you can put up anything you want in your

Howard Brown:

profile. So what what is real and true is hard to decode. So I

Howard Brown:

people probably do need help, and a second opinion or trusted

Howard Brown:

opinion, to be able to actually know that way. I do have

Howard Brown:

friends, you know, that are now 40s or 50s, and divorced. And

Howard Brown:

they're using the date. And they are meeting people. They are

Howard Brown:

meeting people, a good friend of mine, divorced and met and now

Howard Brown:

getting remarried, after meeting someone on one of the online

Howard Brown:

dating sites and all that sort of stuff. So I don't know a lot

Howard Brown:

about it, but you must. And that's where you're part of your

Howard Brown:

coaching and the cancer where suffering comes out. So what

Howard Brown:

type of you know, like, some people will be shy, right? They

Howard Brown:

look at it and saying, I don't know what I'm doing, or I need

Howard Brown:

help. But they people come to you. And where do you start?

Howard Brown:

What do you start with them? Right? Yeah,

Ry Duong:

I really start with them. I really go through an

Ry Duong:

analysis and assessment a little bit about their history without

Ry Duong:

going in down deep to really gain clarity of like, What were

Ry Duong:

their struggle? What are some of their limiting beliefs in terms

Ry Duong:

of love, you know, a lot of people would say, I want to be

Ry Duong:

able to find love. But as we go through the discussion, I

Ry Duong:

realised they're not there yet. Like, they're not actually, they

Ry Duong:

say they want it, but they're not ready to put in the time and

Ry Duong:

the effort to actually being able to work at it, to be

Ry Duong:

serious about it, and to really attract the love that they want.

Ry Duong:

And there's some old internal baggage and belief that is still

Ry Duong:

holding them back. So we work through all of that to get them

Ry Duong:

to the right space and really gain clarity. What do you truly

Ry Duong:

want? When you say you want love? What does that really

Ry Duong:

mean? And what does that show up? Like? And what kind of woman

Ry Duong:

or men are you actually trying to? It's one thing to say, I

Ry Duong:

want this, but what you truly need is completely different. So

Ry Duong:

I help them to decipher what is the difference between the two

Ry Duong:

and get their compass really focused and aligned so that

Ry Duong:

they're not wasting their time? I don't want like I've been

Ry Duong:

through it before wasting time on it. I want to be able to help

Ry Duong:

them use their time efficiently. Because time you can't buy back.

Ry Duong:

Right, right, right? Yes. And I want them to be able to go on

Ry Duong:

these date clear knowing what they have to do, and then where

Ry Duong:

to look for the right type of mate because you could be doing

Ry Duong:

all of these dating. But if you're in the wrong zone, you're

Ry Duong:

not going to find your perfect mate. And it's frustrating.

Howard Brown:

And some of that's geography based but with these

Howard Brown:

dating apps, they can be anywhere you may and then then

Howard Brown:

you starting into a long distance relationship rather

Howard Brown:

than someone that's local. And that's a different dynamic, I

Howard Brown:

imagine right?

Ry Duong:

Oh, yeah, it's the long distance dating is really

Ry Duong:

complicated. Some couple of very small amount of couple actually

Ry Duong:

make it work. But it's quite different compared to like, you

Ry Duong:

know, you're seeing the person you're able to interact the

Ry Duong:

physical, and really just meeting each other at different

Ry Duong:

location belong distance. It's a lot of like, trust and how do

Ry Duong:

you how do you know you can actually trust the other person

Ry Duong:

and the amount of time separate and apart and not being able to

Ry Duong:

have access to them easily? A lot of insecurity comes into

Ry Duong:

play.

Howard Brown:

Yeah, so the trust factor and we'll talk about that

Howard Brown:

too. All right. I got a couple of questions for you about about

Howard Brown:

dating so All right. So you come to the date. Should you be

Howard Brown:

prepared to the gentleman pay for the dinner or the drinks or

Howard Brown:

split go Dutch?

Ry Duong:

I'll give you my my preference. Ideally, if you're a

Ry Duong:

woman, I I think it's okay. It's important to learn to accept,

Ry Duong:

you know, like if the man is offering and he wants to, and it

Ry Duong:

makes him feel good, why would you actually hinder that? If you

Ry Duong:

really, really stick on like, let's splitting in half, you can

Ry Duong:

do that, if that's how you feel, and that's okay. But I would

Ry Duong:

never offer for the woman to pay for the date, I wouldn't go

Ry Duong:

there it is the first date. It's him showing how He's a gentleman

Ry Duong:

that he really tends and care for you. And I can tell you on

Ry Duong:

one of my few dates, I went to a Tim horn with this one man, and

Ry Duong:

he won't even pay for my massage. And I'm like, I you

Ry Duong:

know what? That's an X. I'm not seeing you again.

Howard Brown:

Yeah, again, some people okay with that. And then

Howard Brown:

right. So next question, is that? Should you actually and

Howard Brown:

again, this is very your general, but do you kiss on the

Howard Brown:

first date,

Ry Duong:

I always say there was like, there's so many rules. But

Ry Duong:

nothing is every a cookie cutter, I really think you

Ry Duong:

really need to go with the synergy and the attraction.

Ry Duong:

Whatever's happening there, if it feels right, and you want to,

Ry Duong:

don't hold back, like, do it because it feels right to you.

Ry Duong:

And then from there you discover. I know there are

Ry Duong:

certain things that people always say, Oh, these rules. And

Ry Duong:

sometimes they work but I don't want people to play a game. It's

Ry Duong:

like, just go with what feels good to your heart. If you're

Ry Duong:

feeling it, he's feeling it and you want to then definitely, but

Ry Duong:

if the energy is not there, and you're not reading it properly,

Ry Duong:

and that's how I teach people to be able to read the energy

Ry Duong:

because if he's giving you a different cue that he's not

Ry Duong:

interested in wanting to kiss and you're pushing it, chances

Ry Duong:

are you might lose him. So there's, there's ways of reading

Ry Duong:

the behaviour, and then knowing when it's the right timing to

Ry Duong:

make those advances. But if your heart feels good, I say, go for

Ry Duong:

it. Trust yourself.

Howard Brown:

And, and also then, if you're not feeling it,

Howard Brown:

you got to be honest, and but be polite, right?

Ry Duong:

Absolutely. Just do it with compassion, because you

Ry Duong:

know, it's hard for everybody going on dates, everybody's

Ry Duong:

looking for love. Everybody wants to feel that they belong

Ry Duong:

and they have somebody a companion that they can go to.

Ry Duong:

So it's just as hard for the guy as for the girls, so if you're

Ry Duong:

not into it, honour that be truthful but saying in a loving

Ry Duong:

way, like find a way to be able to say that to the person and

Ry Duong:

you know, it's there's nothing personal and and one thing I

Ry Duong:

want to make sure that people understand rejection is not a

Ry Duong:

reflection on you. So you know, if it's not working, let it

Ry Duong:

finish move on to the next don't waste your time.

Howard Brown:

Great, great advice for a timing. So you I

Howard Brown:

mean, oh my god. So after the these days, they come back to

Howard Brown:

you. And you've probably heard crazy first dates. So also

Howard Brown:

beautiful first dates, right? You get the report? Yeah, check

Howard Brown:

in with you. Exactly.

Ry Duong:

That's I love I love these first date. I love when

Ry Duong:

they're actually going on this first day. They're very nervous

Ry Duong:

and like how do I dress? Does it look good? And because I have an

Ry Duong:

eye for that kind of stuff. I think it's a talent to like my

Ry Duong:

huge talent is to be able to see through people see the potential

Ry Duong:

see what works. And aesthetically like I'm good at

Ry Duong:

that and think I think that thanks to mom, like the fashion

Ry Duong:

side comes from Mum, but I can always pick up on like that

Ry Duong:

would do you good. There's certain clothing and I always

Ry Duong:

say is like for for different women of different sides.

Ry Duong:

There's always a man for the type of body that you have. And

Ry Duong:

then the type of clothing that you have can actually dress to

Ry Duong:

accent on those features. So don't don't overthink it. We

Ry Duong:

overthink too much. Just go and have an amazing time with

Ry Duong:

another human being Come on.

Howard Brown:

So okay, so what what tips do you offer? You

Howard Brown:

know, what are some of the basics that people have to know

Howard Brown:

entering in and from your coaching?

Ry Duong:

Yeah, so when you're actually coming into the

Ry Duong:

coaching with me, what I really want you to know is like, one

Ry Duong:

Don't be so hard on yourself. Like we're gonna have fun. It's

Ry Duong:

a journey. See it as a journey as a practice. Like when you're

Ry Duong:

going on these dates, don't expect to get marry right away.

Ry Duong:

Put that aside because that pressure it is not helpful at

Ry Duong:

all. So when you go in with a desperation, men and women can

Ry Duong:

feel it and it's so unattractive. So you don't want

Ry Duong:

propel people you want to call them in. So be inviting, be

Ry Duong:

engaging, put an upbeat personality and really want you

Ry Duong:

know, get them engaged, asking them question take an interest

Ry Duong:

in their life because people love to talk about themselves.

Ry Duong:

So if you're taking an interest in their life, it shows that,

Ry Duong:

hey, I find you interesting and I want to get to know more about

Ry Duong:

you who wouldn't want that. And if if you're on this date, like

Ry Duong:

I really say women have really good good intuition if you're

Ry Duong:

not feeling it and it something of what he's saying this in sync

Ry Duong:

with you give him a few chance, like give them a few chance to

Ry Duong:

get to know because I find one of the thing is people are so

Ry Duong:

quick to judge. You're like on the first data. Oh, no, he's not

Ry Duong:

good. But unless he's hitting those red flag, I would say

Ry Duong:

Yeah, but you know, go on a second date, see how it is, and

Ry Duong:

then get them people nervous on the first date, they're not

Ry Duong:

gonna be perfect right away. So get to know them a little bit

Ry Duong:

more. And you might just realise, hey, you know what, at

Ry Duong:

first, and that's my story. When I first met my boyfriend, he was

Ry Duong:

like, the good guy, you know, like, I'm used to dating my ex

Ry Duong:

husband, who was like six foot two, and then broad shoulder and

Ry Duong:

muscular. And then I had my boyfriend who was like, too good

Ry Duong:

at two shoe, like too good. And he was shorter. He was like,

Ry Duong:

just a few inches taller than me. And that's okay. He did

Ry Duong:

everything right. He was just so sweet. Such a gentleman, but I

Ry Duong:

was so used to something else and thinking I wasn't deserving

Ry Duong:

of this good thing. So I was going to shoot him off on the

Ry Duong:

first date and not even see him again. And thank God for my

Ry Duong:

sister, because that night she spoke to me, she's like, What is

Ry Duong:

it like, I'm giving you a good guy, a nice guy. And you say,

Ry Duong:

you don't want any more heartbreak, but you keep

Ry Duong:

choosing the wrong dude. Like, how much of these lessons do you

Ry Duong:

need to learn? And I was like, Okay, you made your point, I'll

Ry Duong:

go on a second date with him. And you know what the second

Ry Duong:

date, I got to know him. We're here three years now. And it's

Ry Duong:

been amazing. So honestly give people a chance.

Howard Brown:

I love that you share your own personal

Howard Brown:

experience, I will tell you that for me. I think that changing up

Howard Brown:

the geography a little bit is helpful. Because if you meet

Howard Brown:

out, say at a coffee shop, or you meet at a bar, or you meet

Howard Brown:

at a party, I that's good. But I my wife and I actually did like

Howard Brown:

a nature walk along the beach, and then went for breakfast. And

Howard Brown:

I during that walk, you actually get a lot more dedication a lot

Howard Brown:

more time. And the nature is there that it's beautiful. And

Howard Brown:

then you're able to share and get to know each other. So

Howard Brown:

again, I'm just going off of my long, long term marriage and all

Howard Brown:

that. No,

Ry Duong:

I agree with you. 1%. I agree with you 100%. However,

Ry Duong:

because we did the exact same thing, my first date was so

Ry Duong:

boring, we went for a walk around my block. And because I

Ry Duong:

just moved in, so I had a whole bunch of cardboard box in my

Ry Duong:

backyard, and I needed a guy with a van to load them up and

Ry Duong:

put them in the Eco centre. So I asked him, could you help me?

Ry Duong:

And when it allows you to see people in reality, not like in

Ry Duong:

the Bachelor like when you see everything is perfect, this

Ry Duong:

beautiful restaurant and you're going on these amazing trip in

Ry Duong:

Hawaii. No, I got to see him in the realness a dude who's

Ry Duong:

helping me pack all of my cardboard box shoving into his

Ry Duong:

van and bringing me to a really boring date of the ego centre.

Ry Duong:

And yet we had an amazing time. And that's when I realised I can

Ry Duong:

see myself doing this, like the regular daily live have living

Ry Duong:

together boring stuff, and still have an amazing time. That's the

Ry Duong:

kind of guy I want to be around. Like, it really gives you a good

Ry Duong:

sense of reality. Because you know, when you go on a fantasy,

Ry Duong:

and then reality hits, you're disappointed. Right?

Howard Brown:

I think that's I my second date was I was bowling

Howard Brown:

on behalf of Lisa because she couldn't throw the ball down and

Howard Brown:

for charity. And so I can totally see that. And it's that

Howard Brown:

that that brings that values that you spoke up that the

Howard Brown:

common values. There are people that you just are very different

Howard Brown:

from and that's okay, but you have to have something that

Howard Brown:

Bond's you together. I know that all right. So what you This is

Howard Brown:

really cool, because I'm learning here all the time. What

Howard Brown:

upcoming projects, what's something, I think you have some

Howard Brown:

exciting stuff that's going on, tell us about you.

Ry Duong:

I do and like this is so good, because I'm so so

Ry Duong:

passionate about this one because it's free. It's a summit

Ry Duong:

that I'm having at the end of the three day from October 25 to

Ry Duong:

the 27th called from heartbreak to happily ever after on finding

Ry Duong:

true love and also building a happy step family. So for all of

Ry Duong:

you guys who's gone through a heartbreak and want to know how

Ry Duong:

to get over a heartbreak and learn those who are about to go

Ry Duong:

on dates, what to do what to avoid, we have so many renowned

Ry Duong:

authors and speaker with a lot of expertise. I'll be speaking

Ry Duong:

on that. He gets so much knowledge and information that

Ry Duong:

is going to really change your life. And then those who are

Ry Duong:

actually in like a lot of couples are now in blended

Ry Duong:

family, you're going to be in step family and you want to be

Ry Duong:

successful in maintaining a second chance at love and how to

Ry Duong:

have happy children in it. Like definitely check it out. We'll

Ry Duong:

share that a little bit later. But yes, that's called from

Ry Duong:

heartbreak to happily ever after.

Howard Brown:

Yeah, we're gonna when we teach the show, I'm

Howard Brown:

going to put the links for people to sign up. It's going to

Howard Brown:

be amazing, but also I know you're working on a book. Can

Howard Brown:

you

Ry Duong:

working on my book? Yes, I will. So My book is about

Ry Duong:

all through my journey of what I've learned through the

Ry Duong:

heartbreak and everything related to love, but especially

Ry Duong:

with regards to self love, unconditional self love for

Ry Duong:

oneself. And then once you have that, it's so much easier to

Ry Duong:

give it to your partner because you have nothing but love for

Ry Duong:

yourself. And it's an ongoing process. And so my book is

Ry Duong:

called CES. Again, this is my sister talking to me CES, you've

Ry Duong:

got this awaken the badass from within.

Howard Brown:

Oh, that's cool title. And you'll and you'll

Howard Brown:

have the hummingbird right? Yes, yeah, that's gonna be great. I

Howard Brown:

can't wait keep keep working on that. I have to tell you

Howard Brown:

publishing a book. It's a lot of dedication. But it's so worth it

Howard Brown:

when you actually get to share yourself and your experience

Howard Brown:

with others and inspire them. So I wish you well, I hope that

Howard Brown:

comes out soon, I want to I want to get a copy and share with

Howard Brown:

everyone as well. Alright, so what we're going to do now is

Howard Brown:

I'm going to put my sunglasses on, okay, this is called the

Howard Brown:

shining brightly spotlight on you, I want you to tell the

Howard Brown:

listeners in the audience out there, how they can get in touch

Howard Brown:

with you. And then I want you to leave the audience with some

Howard Brown:

inspiration, after you tell how to get in touch with you.

Ry Duong:

Absolutely. So Howard, they can actually reach me and

Ry Duong:

you can go I'm actually because we're on the show of shining

Ry Duong:

brightly with my handsome Howard Brown. People can actually reach

Ry Duong:

me, I offer a 30 minute love assessment, if you're like, I'm

Ry Duong:

not quite sure. And I want clarity with regards to this. I

Ry Duong:

do this for it. So it's go on h kalindi.com. So HTTP s to call

Ry Duong:

it two dots, and then the slash to slash kalindi.com/leader for

Ry Duong:

true love. And so you can book a 30 minutes, and I will

Ry Duong:

definitely reach me there. Or you can actually find me on

Ry Duong:

Facebook Ry Duong so and you'll be able to find me there.

Ry Duong:

There's no problem. And I want to be able to leave people with

Ry Duong:

this. When you go into loving a lot of time we have scars and

Ry Duong:

baggage is and then we want to be able to protect yourself. Try

Ry Duong:

not to do that when you're going to love. Take it one day at a

Ry Duong:

time and with a person that you're loving on them love them

Ry Duong:

to the fullest of what you can. Because if they're meant to be

Ry Duong:

there for two years, three years, 10 years, 20 years, you

Ry Duong:

want to maximise it so live in the present moment of love

Ry Duong:

fully.

Howard Brown:

Love fully and I'll make a heart right now. I

Howard Brown:

don't make it that well. Oh my god. So alright, just to repeat.

Howard Brown:

So you can make an appointment for an love assessment which is

Howard Brown:

amazing@calendly.com leader for true love. And then also your

Howard Brown:

website is leader for true love to find more information there

Howard Brown:

about you. So I hope people will reach out to you as well. This

Howard Brown:

has been really amazing. We need to talk about this people

Howard Brown:

relationships, we are a people that need to actually feel and

Howard Brown:

love. And and we didn't get to do that as much during the

Howard Brown:

pandemic. So one of my last chapters in the book is sharing

Howard Brown:

hope. And you can share a hug, you can share love, but hopeful,

Howard Brown:

romantic, hopeful for love. This is what you're teaching. And

Howard Brown:

that's that's why I had you on the show today. It's such a

Howard Brown:

great message and thank you. So Howard Brown, of course. Shining

Howard Brown:

brightly.com is where you find me and you can find the book and

Howard Brown:

you can find the speaking. And you can also find my this

Howard Brown:

inspirational podcast and my advocacy for entrepreneurship,

Howard Brown:

leadership, mentorship and interfaith. So come in Iraq with

Howard Brown:

us. And again, this has been an amazing show. And what is true

Howard Brown:

love I think we learned a little bit today. So thank you, Reid.

Howard Brown:

Thank you very much

Ry Duong:

so much, Howard for having me. Definitely tune into

Ry Duong:

Howard. He's a an amazing guy. I'm just so grateful to to met

Ry Duong:

him to cross his path because you shine that love and you

Ry Duong:

really give it to people with nothing holding us back. That's

Ry Duong:

why we you and I both connected. So thank you such an honour to

Ry Duong:

be here.

Howard Brown:

Absolutely. And go celebrate the Cambodian

Howard Brown:

Halloween and we'd meet up with your family and I love the

Howard Brown:

hummingbird. It's such a beautiful thing in memory of

Howard Brown:

your sister. So thank you for tuning into the shining brightly

Howard Brown:

show. Until next time, keep shining brightly. It makes the

Howard Brown:

world a better place for yourself, for others and for our

Howard Brown:

communities. keep shining. Thank you

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