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check 1 2 well

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hello there boyfriend how are you this fine day

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I'm really good is it working

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yes excellent

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let's not talk shit I'm afraid to ask

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but I have a great question

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I don't even know what I was gonna say

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I'm so disturbed right now

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lay it on me I don't know what it says

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it just came in on speak pipe

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speak pipe wait are you being serious

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yeah you're just gonna cold play one yeah

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this is always goes well for you last time

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excuse me hi

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this is Jen um

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I did it wrong the first time

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sorry to quote your beautiful wife

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why aren't you single haha

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okay that was it haha

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that was the whole message uh

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haha cause not my wife

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I like her to be but um

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yeah it's fantastic

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all right I did say we were opening up the phones again

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I agree we're open up the phones for questions

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we're doing a Q&A questions and insults

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yeah well

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we are not married

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but I did say that to you

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are you not single when you say dumb shit

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oh you said it many many times microphones on and off

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maybe I'm desperate um

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what was I gonna tell you

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oh maybe I'm using you for something

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which a lot of people like to say

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what was I gonna ask you look at his arms

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remember the um

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the thing about um

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so you know that I had I'm trying to figure out

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right before we started I like that question

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you're totally just dodging it

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oh it's a real question

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I thought it was just an insult oh

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that was funny what's the question

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oh why am I not single

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yeah sorry

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I just yeah

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I wanted to move past to give her credit

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I like it when people ask questions oh

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so you're saying I'm not single because my arms are big

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that's one of the reason your attributes like oh

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that's nice okay

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like what am I using all for

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I swear I misunderstood

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I thought that was a straight up insult

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and he's great at moving my furniture

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I am I just did a little bit of it you're my it guy

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I do um

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I really have very white teeth okay

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did you know before I ever met you in person

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I went and bleached my teeth

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like the day before I flew to Denver

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because you had really nice teeth

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and we talked about how white your teeth were

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and I was so scared that I would have

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not as nice teeth so when I surprised you

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I wanted so I was like hi

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my teeth were like bleeding because I had

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they weren't good enough so I had a second time

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like that's a place I still can't believe

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he got me at the teeth

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how about I admit something to you

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you don't know

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ready

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so I feel like I do do things around the um

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I I'm a pretty right like you said it guy

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I've hung some pictures oh yeah

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I've uh so this one day

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there's something about Erica that makes me

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I wanna like be able to do what she needs me to do

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like there's

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there's something that makes me go for instance

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you had a ring doorbell

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her the doorbell

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the thing that the chime it's so high up in the sky

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you have like a special ladder

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it's frighteningly hot right now

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it's so high and I just go yeah

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I can do that of course and I'm in my head I'm like

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I don't know that's very high

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I'm not sure but

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there's something about being with you

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that makes you wanna do things

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for you I told you also I'm an anxious person

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but when I'm with you

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I'm not I wanna like take care of everything

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I wanna be like no

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I got this right so you had said um

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that you wanted me you were practicing silks

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and you wanted me to put something on your ceiling

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so you can hang like a home silks thing

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what that would involve would be put it

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hooking something up to a ceiling that's very high

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that could hold the weight of a person

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if it didn't hold the weight of a person

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that person might hurt themselves and

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or get a head injury

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this is a very I feel like this request is very like

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oh shit

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like this something that has to be done correctly yeah

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and I I remember just going oh yeah

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I could totally do that

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and then standing upstairs just being like huh

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this is like a real but there's this thing where I

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I like I feel like I'm

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I don't even know what I'm saying

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I don't even know

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if this is good to even talk about on the podcast

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but you do this thing for me

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maybe this is too lovey dovey bullshit

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but you do this thing for me

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where you make me feel like I could

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I am capable of all these things where if I was alone

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I didn't have to do it for someone

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I would have hired someone to put in the thing

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in my ceiling because I wouldn't have trusted myself

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but when you ask me stuff hey

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can you hang up the thing

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I went upstairs yeah

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you did a great job

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I think it took me 11 minutes to hang a silk thing

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pretty impressive and I even hung on it myself

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and I did whatever so that I think this is part

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I know that was cute you tested it out

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to make sure it wouldn't fall on your weight

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so then I could get on it

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and number I go

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let's make sure you know both of us a case no

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will you get drunk later no

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it's for exercise stop it

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you just says exercise don't make me go to the tape

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um wow

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but it's two fold I'm lying a little bit

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it's two fold one is like you make me feel incapable

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these the other thing is I wanna fuck it

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I wanna you know

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I wanna impress me yes

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oh impress me Jamie what you got about 5 9

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do I thought I was 5 9 I don't we need to go there

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I thought I was 5 9 for a really long time

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then I started doing the joke on stage

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about how I was taller than Godfeld

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and then after a show this lady goes

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you're not 5 9 by the way

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I was like what

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I've been 5 9 for 48 years

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and then I was told I wasn't

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and then I realized I'm kinda like

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I just buy I bought high heel tennis shoes for myself

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I don't thank you for those

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oh I thought they were for myself

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they're gold oh yeah

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they're so cute to make me feel more like shit

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no awesome

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I they're stylish

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they're like wedge ones but they have them for guys too

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oh I'm not saying you need them

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I'm just saying I saw an ad once where every guy lied

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it was probably for the shoes to like

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make you think that oh yeah

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see we need to be taller

Speaker: 00:06:16

every guy lied about you don't need them

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they were like in a gym and they were like

Speaker: 00:06:20

uh how tall are you

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and the guy was like I am 6 2 and they're like

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stand up let's measure you and the guy's like

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oh get away from me

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no I'm not stop it

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and they get really mad

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because they got caught in a lie

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and like every guy they asked except one

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refuse to stand up or if they did

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they were off by several inches

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so I don't think you're uncommon there

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but this one obviously

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was marketed to get people to buy their shoes

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I think you're perfect but that is funny though

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cause I remember women don't do that

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they do it with their weight

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age weight

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I don't lie about my age no

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not you I don't group you in with other women

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when we talk women when you say like men are assholes

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I don't think you're talking about specifically me

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I'm saying in general

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but I think men I and maybe I'm wrong about that video

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I didn't see it but when I lied to you about my height

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I wasn't going like

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I'm gonna tell Eric I'm taller than I am

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there's part of me that believed that I was fine

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I knew I knew it was probably shorter than that

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cause I had some some people question it

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but I just kind of said it

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and you even said it like I said it like I was

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I was gonna ask you for what I know I'm afraid to ask

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forget it

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do you think that like EMTs

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when they're helping someone on the side of the road

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ever even look at their driver's license

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to know their height and weight

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cause they know everyone lies oh

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you mean to try to figure out if they're like

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how much medicine of something do we need

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like most of it's not weight yeah

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adjusted for like aggressive cardiovascular

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life saving measures

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like it's just like you get this amount

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this makes whatever

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that's why they weigh you and don't ask for

Speaker: 00:07:51

anesthesiologist is different for

Speaker: 00:07:53

because they have to keep you sedated

Speaker: 00:07:56

but for like

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stuff to like shock your heart and like get you back

Speaker: 00:07:59

it's it's pretty standard

Speaker: 00:08:01

but wouldn't that be fun

Speaker: 00:08:02

like they don't look your driver's license

Speaker: 00:08:03

but how much is this person weigh

Speaker: 00:08:05

and like well it's a woman add 30 pounds yeah

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they'd have to do for me

Speaker: 00:08:09

my driver's license is on point

Speaker: 00:08:11

I would say 5 9 they like this short guy

Speaker: 00:08:13

stole a guy's driver's license haha

Speaker: 00:08:15

he's uh his symptoms are he's getting shorter

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yeah

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they give you the options of getting a driver's license

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every year or four years

Speaker: 00:08:23

and then they're like or you can pay a little extra

Speaker: 00:08:25

you can have for 10 years

Speaker: 00:08:26

I'm like ten cause

Speaker: 00:08:28

I don't know what I'm gonna look like in 10 years

Speaker: 00:08:30

guess what

Speaker: 00:08:31

the 10 year one expires for me this August does it

Speaker: 00:08:33

I can't wait you know

Speaker: 00:08:34

why of all the insults that you level of me

Speaker: 00:08:37

you have a terrible picture

Speaker: 00:08:39

why are drivers like a serial killer on meth

Speaker: 00:08:43

passing bear cubs in the picture

Speaker: 00:08:45

it was Covid and I had

Speaker: 00:08:47

it looks like I'm wearing a white turtleneck

Speaker: 00:08:50

but it's a Bandana

Speaker: 00:08:51

I used to be Bandana guy during Covid

Speaker: 00:08:53

I thought it was getting over and it's

Speaker: 00:08:55

it just makes it look weird

Speaker: 00:08:56

and I think I'm wearing glasses and I don't know

Speaker: 00:08:59

you look like you just came off of like

Speaker: 00:09:01

a winter foraging 10 year hike

Speaker: 00:09:04

and you found civilization

Speaker: 00:09:06

it's not a great picture so I should get another one

Speaker: 00:09:08

I need my driver's license to drive those bodies around

Speaker: 00:09:10

I'm sick of carrying them

Speaker: 00:09:12

it's a terrible picture well

Speaker: 00:09:13

at least that's consistent with the story

Speaker: 00:09:16

do you wanna hear a true story

Speaker: 00:09:16

oh you made fun of me just the other day

Speaker: 00:09:18

you I was making fun of you

Speaker: 00:09:19

so you grab my license and you're like

Speaker: 00:09:21

screw you Erica

Speaker: 00:09:22

and then you grab my Costco card

Speaker: 00:09:23

and you flipped it over and you're like haha

Speaker: 00:09:25

screw you Erica

Speaker: 00:09:26

yes great

Speaker: 00:09:27

fucking annoying

Speaker: 00:09:29

tell your true story

Speaker: 00:09:30

about someone lying about their weight

Speaker: 00:09:31

what they could be dangerous

Speaker: 00:09:33

this is a true story

Speaker: 00:09:34

swear to God true story

Speaker: 00:09:37

I'm flying I'm performing somewhere in Alaska

Speaker: 00:09:40

there's a guy in Fairbanks

Speaker: 00:09:42

Alaska that would take us to do these little tours

Speaker: 00:09:44

and you take a little

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planes and you go to all these different little

Speaker: 00:09:47

sometimes to be a community center

Speaker: 00:09:49

and to be the whole town

Speaker: 00:09:50

and you'd perform for them and do Santa show

Speaker: 00:09:52

it's kind of fun

Speaker: 00:09:54

and we go to the airport and it's this tiny plane

Speaker: 00:09:58

and they go there's a guy up there and they go

Speaker: 00:10:01

how much do you weigh sir

Speaker: 00:10:01

and he's like oh

Speaker: 00:10:02

I don't know one 90 okay

Speaker: 00:10:04

and they weigh his bags and then he walks

Speaker: 00:10:05

and then this woman gets on in front of me and he

Speaker: 00:10:08

and they go how much do you weigh

Speaker: 00:10:10

and she goes one twenty and I'm like that's not hmm hmm

Speaker: 00:10:16

it's not it's not 1:20

Speaker: 00:10:19

our lives are at stake and this lady goes I weigh 1:20

Speaker: 00:10:23

I get up there thinking what do you weigh

Speaker: 00:10:25

go two twenty ten I took her weight on to mine

Speaker: 00:10:31

I added her weight to mine for to save everybody

Speaker: 00:10:35

do you think you added enough or not enough

Speaker: 00:10:37

I mean I really tried to do it like a carnival guy

Speaker: 00:10:39

like I really tried to look at her and go hmm

Speaker: 00:10:42

I don't think so but did you tell her don't worry ma'am

Speaker: 00:10:45

your secret's safe with me

Speaker: 00:10:46

don't you think that they should start weighing people

Speaker: 00:10:48

cause do you I wouldn't get mad if a woman like

Speaker: 00:10:51

I feel like those are kind of harmless lies

Speaker: 00:10:53

I've never been on a plane

Speaker: 00:10:54

where they've asked my weight

Speaker: 00:10:55

no you

Speaker: 00:10:55

I don't know if you've ever been on a plane like that

Speaker: 00:10:59

I was on this is not Alaska Airlines are United

Speaker: 00:11:02

this is like a bush pilot flying flying six of us

Speaker: 00:11:07

that is important that's very

Speaker: 00:11:09

oh yeah I'm if I didn't make that clear

Speaker: 00:11:11

it was your bags couldn't be more than 20 pounds

Speaker: 00:11:14

everybody got like 20 pounds

Speaker: 00:11:15

and it was all about safety yeah

Speaker: 00:11:17

so I'm not trying to be a dick yeah

Speaker: 00:11:19

I'm glad you clarified that

Speaker: 00:11:20

I am just trying to save everyone's life

Speaker: 00:11:23

I owe you pick up a few elbows

Speaker: 00:11:24

you gotta tell that guy

Speaker: 00:11:25

you know that's like the water park they weigh us

Speaker: 00:11:31

they do the one I'm gonna take you to

Speaker: 00:11:33

what do you mean for the why does it matter

Speaker: 00:11:35

a lot of the rides

Speaker: 00:11:36

each family only gets like 800 pounds

Speaker: 00:11:39

do they charge for pound no

Speaker: 00:11:41

they make you leave if you're over no

Speaker: 00:11:45

no way yeah

Speaker: 00:11:47

not not in today's scale

Speaker: 00:11:48

you have to get out of scale every single time

Speaker: 00:11:51

well because how is it not an uproar

Speaker: 00:11:52

uh it's for two people

Speaker: 00:11:54

you can only weigh so much

Speaker: 00:11:55

because I think if you weigh too much

Speaker: 00:11:57

some of them you could go over the side

Speaker: 00:11:59

cause they're like really steep

Speaker: 00:12:00

plunge ones that then scoop up

Speaker: 00:12:02

so with your weight you'll go faster right

Speaker: 00:12:04

so like if you weigh too much

Speaker: 00:12:05

they're worried about safety so they'll say oh

Speaker: 00:12:08

I'm sorry you have to write single

Speaker: 00:12:09

you can't go double oh

Speaker: 00:12:10

I see they don't not let them

Speaker: 00:12:11

what if it's like this is just me and they're like

Speaker: 00:12:13

whoops but there's like a family one

Speaker: 00:12:15

where there's five of us that can go in one too

Speaker: 00:12:17

yeah and it's

Speaker: 00:12:18

you all have to stand on a scale

Speaker: 00:12:20

and if you're too much together

Speaker: 00:12:21

yes together

Speaker: 00:12:23

then they kick one of you off

Speaker: 00:12:24

but I did have a guy was kind of sad

Speaker: 00:12:26

he like was in front of me

Speaker: 00:12:28

and he wanted to go with someone

Speaker: 00:12:30

they're like you can't sorry

Speaker: 00:12:31

they're like the good news is you can be the tube

Speaker: 00:12:35

well it was you

Speaker: 00:12:38

but I was nervous

Speaker: 00:12:39

cause I know I don't like to weigh myself

Speaker: 00:12:41

I would hate to weigh myself

Speaker: 00:12:42

so like is it the place to

Speaker: 00:12:43

I know the name of it yeah

Speaker: 00:12:45

but all I don't wanna throw shade at it

Speaker: 00:12:46

no I wanna see

Speaker: 00:12:47

I wanna see what the weight limit is every

Speaker: 00:12:49

every ride is different because it's

Speaker: 00:12:51

you're telling me I have to weigh myself for every ride

Speaker: 00:12:53

yes

Speaker: 00:12:54

when you get to the top of a lot of their water slides

Speaker: 00:12:58

the extra like speed long ones

Speaker: 00:13:00

yeah you

Speaker: 00:13:01

they make you weigh yourself

Speaker: 00:13:03

not all of them like if it's an enclosed tube

Speaker: 00:13:05

you don't I can't believe this

Speaker: 00:13:07

what

Speaker: 00:13:08

at the place you're talking about

Speaker: 00:13:10

yeah guess what the maximum pounds is per seat

Speaker: 00:13:18

2:10

Speaker: 00:13:21

that's low it's slow

Speaker: 00:13:23

that's not nice but maybe you're saying

Speaker: 00:13:25

you got a bigger one by yourself

Speaker: 00:13:27

yeah I'm assuming so

Speaker: 00:13:28

cause they offered the right to that gentleman

Speaker: 00:13:30

and they didn't they don't say it rude

Speaker: 00:13:32

I mean

Speaker: 00:13:33

it's like teenagers who haven't had another job usually

Speaker: 00:13:35

oh good

Speaker: 00:13:36

so you would think that they would be like

Speaker: 00:13:38

get out and they're immature no

Speaker: 00:13:39

they're very respectful and they're just like

Speaker: 00:13:41

I'm sorry you exceeded it

Speaker: 00:13:43

you can go solo or you can go back well

Speaker: 00:13:45

that's good they're nice like sir

Speaker: 00:13:46

I'm very sorry uh

Speaker: 00:13:48

you're unable to go on the right at this time

Speaker: 00:13:49

but the good news is you've gotten the high score

Speaker: 00:13:52

if you'd like to put your initial initials

Speaker: 00:13:53

into this machine uh

Speaker: 00:13:55

we'll get a price for you inside that job very fast

Speaker: 00:13:58

yeah I would have trouble

Speaker: 00:13:59

why feel bad for those guys want me

Speaker: 00:14:01

at least I got the big pod and they can all go

Speaker: 00:14:03

but certain things are important about your weight

Speaker: 00:14:06

being accurate like the airplane or the

Speaker: 00:14:09

the water slide they're not being jerks

Speaker: 00:14:11

no and it goes the other way too

Speaker: 00:14:13

like with with children

Speaker: 00:14:14

if they're really low weight or they're short

Speaker: 00:14:17

they're like you don't have enough weight for this ride

Speaker: 00:14:19

it's dangerous

Speaker: 00:14:20

you can't be on like certain carnival rides and stuff

Speaker: 00:14:23

you know amusement parks

Speaker: 00:14:24

so I don't think it's it's not being mean

Speaker: 00:14:27

I think it's

Speaker: 00:14:28

it's very important problem is so many people lie

Speaker: 00:14:30

I've never been to another place

Speaker: 00:14:31

that actually makes you get on a scale though yeah

Speaker: 00:14:33

that's crazy

Speaker: 00:14:35

that's crazy um

Speaker: 00:14:38

I think I don't even think we should get into it

Speaker: 00:14:41

but there is this whole movement of people

Speaker: 00:14:44

that are going to say I'm healthy at any weight

Speaker: 00:14:47

it's not true you should change your slide

Speaker: 00:14:52

so that I can go on your slide

Speaker: 00:14:53

this is not fair

Speaker: 00:14:54

even if we're trying to like save a person's life

Speaker: 00:14:58

or you don't want him to go flipping off the slide

Speaker: 00:15:00

there are absolutely

Speaker: 00:15:00

people that are gonna be super upset about Ali

Speaker: 00:15:03

two times at high either but

Speaker: 00:15:05

there are certain things we can't do

Speaker: 00:15:07

because of our weight

Speaker: 00:15:08

I can't be a ballet dancer because the other way yeah

Speaker: 00:15:12

you can't it's a

Speaker: 00:15:14

but people wanna take it personally

Speaker: 00:15:16

well I have a big problem with that

Speaker: 00:15:17

all physicians do

Speaker: 00:15:18

I have to phrase things very delicately

Speaker: 00:15:20

and I'll even say it on here

Speaker: 00:15:21

I don't wanna get hate for it

Speaker: 00:15:23

I do respect everyone's autonomy and their choices

Speaker: 00:15:26

sure that's their life

Speaker: 00:15:27

but if you come to me with a health related question

Speaker: 00:15:29

and you say how can I get better

Speaker: 00:15:31

yeah if you're morbidly obese

Speaker: 00:15:33

it is irresponsible of a physician to say

Speaker: 00:15:36

you're beautiful at any weight

Speaker: 00:15:38

you're healthy at any weight yep

Speaker: 00:15:40

that is frustrating to me

Speaker: 00:15:41

you do have to have some true

Speaker: 00:15:42

if I can't say it who can seriously

Speaker: 00:15:45

if I can't say it I'm not fat shaming

Speaker: 00:15:47

body shaming

Speaker: 00:15:48

anybody in a fitting room or in a water park

Speaker: 00:15:51

I'm not you do you

Speaker: 00:15:53

but if you come to a doctor and you get offended

Speaker: 00:15:55

because they say you need to lose weight

Speaker: 00:15:57

if they say hey

Speaker: 00:15:58

and they call you names and belittle you

Speaker: 00:16:00

sure but if they're polite and they say listen

Speaker: 00:16:04

every extra pound by the way

Speaker: 00:16:06

your heart has to pump harder

Speaker: 00:16:08

to supply that whole pound of tissue

Speaker: 00:16:10

that's more blood vessels

Speaker: 00:16:11

that's more pressure

Speaker: 00:16:13

to supply the whole body with oxygen

Speaker: 00:16:14

and blood and nutrients that you need

Speaker: 00:16:16

it's a fact so if you're morbidly obese

Speaker: 00:16:19

are you going to have cardiac related problems

Speaker: 00:16:22

more than likely yes

Speaker: 00:16:24

and are you gonna have them right now

Speaker: 00:16:25

no I know this is uncomfortable topic

Speaker: 00:16:27

but I'm not done talking

Speaker: 00:16:29

I've gotten people who have called in and yelled at me

Speaker: 00:16:31

and said I was disrespectful

Speaker: 00:16:33

because their medical chart said obese

Speaker: 00:16:35

and I said to that isn't it a medical term is an obese

Speaker: 00:16:38

yeah it's based on your body mass index

Speaker: 00:16:40

yeah

Speaker: 00:16:41

so it didn't say 25 or higher or something overweight

Speaker: 00:16:45

and I can't change that

Speaker: 00:16:47

right

Speaker: 00:16:48

but I've had people actually yell and leave my practice

Speaker: 00:16:50

and say

Speaker: 00:16:51

I'm not staying unless you delete it from my chart

Speaker: 00:16:52

I go I can't why

Speaker: 00:16:53

that is important for us to discuss

Speaker: 00:16:56

so I'm out of here where's the biggest exit

Speaker: 00:17:00

no you can have tact and also candor

Speaker: 00:17:03

yeah I agree

Speaker: 00:17:05

I just think um

Speaker: 00:17:07

but I'm impressed with patients who take my advice

Speaker: 00:17:12

and get healthy course

Speaker: 00:17:14

see the positive benefits

Speaker: 00:17:16

and I also realize obesity is a big struggle

Speaker: 00:17:18

and it's not something to throw shade at

Speaker: 00:17:20

but yeah and it pisses me off

Speaker: 00:17:23

I've actually got a lot of shade from

Speaker: 00:17:25

it'd be different if it was a bank teller

Speaker: 00:17:27

which like I'm not gonna help you

Speaker: 00:17:28

because I don't like the way you look sure

Speaker: 00:17:30

but if it's your physician

Speaker: 00:17:31

who honestly cares about your lung capacity yeah

Speaker: 00:17:34

let him talk sometimes big people throw a lot of shade

Speaker: 00:17:38

see that's messed up no

Speaker: 00:17:40

me and my friend were at the beach once

Speaker: 00:17:41

that's don't even finish that one

Speaker: 00:17:45

yeah I think I can

Speaker: 00:17:46

I mean I completely agree with you

Speaker: 00:17:47

if they're at the doctor they're asking for your advice

Speaker: 00:17:49

if you're walking on the street

Speaker: 00:17:50

even as a doctor you wouldn't say hey

Speaker: 00:17:52

lose some weight

Speaker: 00:17:52

I do think the frustrating thing in the problem is

Speaker: 00:17:55

obese person they know what the

Speaker: 00:17:56

they know what to do they just can't

Speaker: 00:17:58

it's really hard well

Speaker: 00:17:59

but I talk about options medical weight loss

Speaker: 00:18:01

surgical procedure that's true

Speaker: 00:18:03

you provide more options diet plans

Speaker: 00:18:05

nutritionists consultations

Speaker: 00:18:07

I mean there's a lot of options out there sure

Speaker: 00:18:09

so that's where you just have to start the discussion

Speaker: 00:18:11

you know I worked at a medical weight loss clinic

Speaker: 00:18:13

when I was in residency for a couple of months

Speaker: 00:18:15

and it was hard for me because all of the doctors

Speaker: 00:18:19

really practice what they preached

Speaker: 00:18:21

which is good and bad right

Speaker: 00:18:23

so they were extremely physically fit very

Speaker: 00:18:26

very thin not unhealthily

Speaker: 00:18:28

but on the very low end of a normal healthy scale

Speaker: 00:18:31

yeah you had all these patients coming in

Speaker: 00:18:33

with body image issues

Speaker: 00:18:34

being told by someone who is eating

Speaker: 00:18:39

500 calories a day sometimes like keto

Speaker: 00:18:43

you're saying they were into 500 calories

Speaker: 00:18:46

people were like

Speaker: 00:18:47

I don't want to hear advice from someone who has it

Speaker: 00:18:49

so easy yeah

Speaker: 00:18:50

these beautiful people flipside

Speaker: 00:18:53

do you want to take medical advice

Speaker: 00:18:54

from a morbidly obese doctor

Speaker: 00:18:56

who tells you need that you need to lose weight

Speaker: 00:18:58

my my old doctor

Speaker: 00:19:01

yeah was like up what

Speaker: 00:19:04

the picture of death door

Speaker: 00:19:06

and I remember every time you would say something

Speaker: 00:19:08

I would just go I don't know

Speaker: 00:19:09

I can't take you seriously

Speaker: 00:19:11

like I had one time I told you and you

Speaker: 00:19:13

I think you told me this happened to you once

Speaker: 00:19:15

I had gotten in very good shape

Speaker: 00:19:17

I was just like but really doing a lot of weightlifting

Speaker: 00:19:21

like not as much peloton

Speaker: 00:19:22

I was just trying to get like jacked for a while

Speaker: 00:19:24

I don't know why and I went in there

Speaker: 00:19:26

in that thing for the ladies

Speaker: 00:19:28

more for myself honestly

Speaker: 00:19:29

and some of the other guys at the gym

Speaker: 00:19:31

first the dudes

Speaker: 00:19:32

for the for the dudes for the dudes

Speaker: 00:19:34

and I went in there and they told me I was obese

Speaker: 00:19:37

cause of my BMI oh yeah

Speaker: 00:19:40

body mass index

Speaker: 00:19:41

I did that once to somebody and I felt so stupid

Speaker: 00:19:44

you did you know what I did

Speaker: 00:19:45

I I wanna swear I was so mad

Speaker: 00:19:48

it made me so mad cause I was working so hard

Speaker: 00:19:50

that the lady comes in and she goes

Speaker: 00:19:52

doctors gonna put you on a weight loss program I go

Speaker: 00:19:54

what are you talking about

Speaker: 00:19:55

I go I I'm honest

Speaker: 00:19:57

but I've never been in better shape

Speaker: 00:19:58

like I wasn't ripped her but I was like 8 9% body fat

Speaker: 00:20:01

yeah and he came in he was like buddy

Speaker: 00:20:02

we could all stand those go pounds and I I flex my ass

Speaker: 00:20:05

you rip your shirt

Speaker: 00:20:06

I did you're like I go I have I go look at my yeah

Speaker: 00:20:08

I go look at my hands

Speaker: 00:20:09

and he goes and he goes mortified

Speaker: 00:20:11

he goes I'm sorry

Speaker: 00:20:12

I'm the one that need to lose weight

Speaker: 00:20:14

that's what he said I've said that to people too

Speaker: 00:20:16

so what happened with you

Speaker: 00:20:17

so more the Ma goes beforehand and weighs them

Speaker: 00:20:20

and gets their height and everything

Speaker: 00:20:21

so that bmis in the computer

Speaker: 00:20:22

before I even go in the room

Speaker: 00:20:23

it turns it red if it's above

Speaker: 00:20:25

if it's like 25 or higher

Speaker: 00:20:26

so I see that it says he's obese so I'm like oh

Speaker: 00:20:29

so I go in the room he's wearing a really baggy

Speaker: 00:20:31

like sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants

Speaker: 00:20:33

so I can't tell honestly couldn't tell

Speaker: 00:20:36

so I'm doing a physical

Speaker: 00:20:36

I go through everything and I'm like wow

Speaker: 00:20:37

your labs are great all this stuff

Speaker: 00:20:39

the only thing that I see

Speaker: 00:20:40

your blood pressure is even healthy

Speaker: 00:20:41

is your weight could probably go a little bit lower

Speaker: 00:20:43

so for advice for the next year before I see you again

Speaker: 00:20:46

what are you doing for like cardio and stuff

Speaker: 00:20:48

because you could probably

Speaker: 00:20:50

you know let's just get that number down a little bit

Speaker: 00:20:51

and he just started laughing

Speaker: 00:20:52

is he like a bodybuilder yes

Speaker: 00:20:54

and I just looked out and I was like what

Speaker: 00:20:56

I'm like your BMI and he's like

Speaker: 00:20:58

I go to gym every day and he did this and I was like

Speaker: 00:21:00

oh shit I'm so sorry I couldn't tell because yeah

Speaker: 00:21:04

you looked chubby in your clothes

Speaker: 00:21:05

cause they were so loose and I just

Speaker: 00:21:07

but I had to call myself out and go dude

Speaker: 00:21:09

we know myocites muscle cells right

Speaker: 00:21:11

muscle tissue muscle weighs more than adipose tissue

Speaker: 00:21:14

fat tissue right

Speaker: 00:21:16

so like well done bravo

Speaker: 00:21:18

you're being me

Speaker: 00:21:18

but you might is high cause you have no body fat

Speaker: 00:21:21

I'm sorry I need to

Speaker: 00:21:23

I don't think I said I need to lose weight too

Speaker: 00:21:24

but I said something like that

Speaker: 00:21:25

I'm like you're in way better shape than me

Speaker: 00:21:27

I do not need to talk right now

Speaker: 00:21:28

you do but that's what I like about you

Speaker: 00:21:30

or the way you practice medicine is

Speaker: 00:21:31

I think there are that's a very extreme example

Speaker: 00:21:34

but I also I think there's some doctors

Speaker: 00:21:36

this still stick to the BMI thing without going

Speaker: 00:21:38

there's these outliers

Speaker: 00:21:39

where it doesn't really work for you

Speaker: 00:21:40

this is for like regular Americans

Speaker: 00:21:42

you need to find a different doctor

Speaker: 00:21:45

not gonna give him my doctor

Speaker: 00:21:48

well I think that there are so many things about

Speaker: 00:21:51

like vibing with your patient too

Speaker: 00:21:53

like I'm a very different doctor

Speaker: 00:21:54

than a lot of other people out there yeah

Speaker: 00:21:56

I've never knew age I I get loud

Speaker: 00:21:59

I have fun I dance

Speaker: 00:22:00

my patients do the same thing

Speaker: 00:22:02

I want them to leave happier than when they came in

Speaker: 00:22:04

and you do that you just have to vibe with them

Speaker: 00:22:06

hey you were my doctor this weekend

Speaker: 00:22:08

ahead of what did I do this real briefly

Speaker: 00:22:11

I woke up I had gut felt laughing

Speaker: 00:22:13

I just it's hard to be your doctor sometimes

Speaker: 00:22:16

everything's okay now but I woke up

Speaker: 00:22:18

I had to do the Gutfeld television show

Speaker: 00:22:19

which involves having your face on TV sure

Speaker: 00:22:21

it also involves writing jokes all day

Speaker: 00:22:23

it's a bit of a hard day

Speaker: 00:22:25

you write the jokes and you go on

Speaker: 00:22:26

you wanna you wanna have a good face for TV

Speaker: 00:22:29

have a good face I woke up

Speaker: 00:22:31

not a good face not a good face

Speaker: 00:22:33

one eye closed

Speaker: 00:22:35

one eye one eye closed with I had a

Speaker: 00:22:39

I had a pain

Speaker: 00:22:40

a shooting pain in my upper left of my eyeball

Speaker: 00:22:44

and I call you up and I go hey

Speaker: 00:22:46

I don't want to alarm you

Speaker: 00:22:47

but remember yesterday I could see her both eyes

Speaker: 00:22:49

remember I could open both eyes nice and wide

Speaker: 00:22:51

I got think something's going on

Speaker: 00:22:53

and so you

Speaker: 00:22:55

you ran me through a battery of tests

Speaker: 00:22:57

or something like that right

Speaker: 00:22:58

I don't know how we did it

Speaker: 00:22:59

did we Facetime

Speaker: 00:23:01

I tried to Facetime you and you wouldn't

Speaker: 00:23:04

oh yeah

Speaker: 00:23:04

topic for whole other day

Speaker: 00:23:06

I looked so bad my eye was so messed up

Speaker: 00:23:09

that even though we're in a very serious relationship

Speaker: 00:23:12

I thought you might reconsider after seeing my face

Speaker: 00:23:14

um

Speaker: 00:23:15

might have reconsidering now the right call

Speaker: 00:23:21

you didn't look good but like not like a judgmental way

Speaker: 00:23:25

like it looked way more serious than I thought

Speaker: 00:23:28

and it was worth some

Speaker: 00:23:29

and we did have to zap it quickly

Speaker: 00:23:30

with stuff to take the swelling down right yeah

Speaker: 00:23:34

so we did stuff to take and

Speaker: 00:23:36

I only have two little points here

Speaker: 00:23:38

that I wanted to bring up

Speaker: 00:23:39

and then we will wrap this up

Speaker: 00:23:40

but I want tell you if you realize what happened

Speaker: 00:23:44

it this morning went down

Speaker: 00:23:46

Erica helped me makeup really helped

Speaker: 00:23:48

you could kind of tell on Gutfeld

Speaker: 00:23:50

I think we briefly mentioned it

Speaker: 00:23:51

um I was surprised that Doctor

Speaker: 00:23:54

Erica gave me I believe it was antihistamines

Speaker: 00:23:55

and a Spider Man outfit no

Speaker: 00:23:58

we decided it was a spider bite

Speaker: 00:23:59

that would have been important information give you

Speaker: 00:24:02

we think it's an insect bite

Speaker: 00:24:03

but anyway

Speaker: 00:24:04

I finished my Gutfeld dates

Speaker: 00:24:06

the two nights everything goes pretty good

Speaker: 00:24:07

I'm driving

Speaker: 00:24:08

and I realize I'm having trouble reading signs

Speaker: 00:24:14

not just exit signs but billboards

Speaker: 00:24:17

very large lettering like the E on the vision chart

Speaker: 00:24:21

I got nothing

Speaker: 00:24:22

and I don't like to call you

Speaker: 00:24:23

cause I know you're gonna be worried

Speaker: 00:24:25

but I go this is like

Speaker: 00:24:26

I can't see shit

Speaker: 00:24:27

and I'm driving three hours in South Carolina

Speaker: 00:24:29

to do these shows and so I call you up and I go

Speaker: 00:24:33

I'm worried my my vision is very apparent

Speaker: 00:24:36

and you're like is it the right eye

Speaker: 00:24:38

is it the left eye and I'm not gonna explain anything

Speaker: 00:24:39

so you got

Speaker: 00:24:40

I confused you and you're getting irritated me

Speaker: 00:24:43

and then um

Speaker: 00:24:44

I go Eric I'm just worried about my vision and you go

Speaker: 00:24:46

well if you have like an information or something

Speaker: 00:24:48

obviously your vision might be bad in that eye

Speaker: 00:24:50

you're gonna be fine and I was like

Speaker: 00:24:51

I don't think I'm gonna be fine

Speaker: 00:24:52

I was arguing with you I was worried about my eyesight

Speaker: 00:24:54

and I wanted to go to an optometometrist

Speaker: 00:24:56

or whatever they are ophthalmologist

Speaker: 00:24:58

and then you said and then you said something like

Speaker: 00:25:00

look in the rearview mirror

Speaker: 00:25:02

and I look in the rearview mirror and you were like

Speaker: 00:25:04

is your eyelid like occluding

Speaker: 00:25:06

I don't know if that's the properties

Speaker: 00:25:07

that word like your pupil

Speaker: 00:25:09

like is it in the way your pupil

Speaker: 00:25:10

and so I look in the rearview mirror

Speaker: 00:25:11

and I noticed that

Speaker: 00:25:12

my eyelid was actually in front of my pupil

Speaker: 00:25:16

open your damn eye

Speaker: 00:25:17

I went like this and that was a cure

Speaker: 00:25:20

it got cured by going like that well

Speaker: 00:25:22

that's why I asked you if it was like bilateral

Speaker: 00:25:24

blurred vision or if his unilateral

Speaker: 00:25:26

like it was the infected eye or both

Speaker: 00:25:28

and you're like

Speaker: 00:25:29

I don't know I don't know I can't see yeah

Speaker: 00:25:31

next time maybe you could go hey

Speaker: 00:25:32

is it one eye or both

Speaker: 00:25:33

without all this fancy trying to fucking

Speaker: 00:25:36

I did hide you from stuff by the way

Speaker: 00:25:38

cause my eye looks ugly well

Speaker: 00:25:39

remember I asked you if it was just like one lid

Speaker: 00:25:42

or all the way around oh yeah

Speaker: 00:25:43

stuff that circumferentials a lot more dangerous yeah

Speaker: 00:25:46

see behind your eyeball

Speaker: 00:25:48

did I ever tell you that once I got accused of a crime

Speaker: 00:25:50

but they only had circumferential evidence

Speaker: 00:25:52

which was not enough to convict

Speaker: 00:25:56

you know I withheld scary some from you

Speaker: 00:25:58

thank you like Tropano Somali ice what is it

Speaker: 00:26:03

no I know this one okay

Speaker: 00:26:05

I'm gonna look it up it's a piano somyosis

Speaker: 00:26:07

it's called it's also called Chagas disease

Speaker: 00:26:10

and there's a bug that bites people's eyes

Speaker: 00:26:13

and it looks like what you have

Speaker: 00:26:14

oh my God

Speaker: 00:26:16

I didn't tell you very glad you didn't bring that up

Speaker: 00:26:18

I didn't tell you because cause it might

Speaker: 00:26:21

it's it's an extremely low likelihood

Speaker: 00:26:23

because you weren't traveling

Speaker: 00:26:24

in the areas where it's endemic

Speaker: 00:26:26

it's usually like in southern hemisphere countries

Speaker: 00:26:29

I don't wanna tell you this

Speaker: 00:26:30

but it occurred when I was trying to get a really

Speaker: 00:26:32

really further south than where we're located

Speaker: 00:26:34

I was trying to get a really good look at a bug

Speaker: 00:26:36

hold on I'm gonna pull it up what happened

Speaker: 00:26:39

I'd seen a bug and I got to meet a closer look

Speaker: 00:26:43

do you know why I even brought up this topic

Speaker: 00:26:45

you're not gonna like this well

Speaker: 00:26:48

now that I'm better I I'll tell you what

Speaker: 00:26:50

when you hurt your eye

Speaker: 00:26:51

and you can't see out of your eye

Speaker: 00:26:53

you will never take your vision for granted ever again

Speaker: 00:26:56

every day I wake up I go

Speaker: 00:26:57

I cannot believe like even at my shows I go

Speaker: 00:27:01

look at all these empty seats

Speaker: 00:27:04

okay this is Chagas disease oh my God

Speaker: 00:27:08

it looks just like what I have

Speaker: 00:27:09

I know an infectious disease

Speaker: 00:27:11

caused by a parasite found in the feces of the

Speaker: 00:27:13

try to mean bug

Speaker: 00:27:14

Chagas disease is common in places where the

Speaker: 00:27:17

tree to mean bug transmit yikes yeah yeah

Speaker: 00:27:20

but I need to tell you that

Speaker: 00:27:21

cause you weren't recently in like

Speaker: 00:27:24

Mexico or other warmer South America

Speaker: 00:27:28

I don't know all the places Africa

Speaker: 00:27:29

maybe it's not common in the US okay

Speaker: 00:27:32

well so I had to look at the most common variables

Speaker: 00:27:34

but you know you're missing a very important point

Speaker: 00:27:36

before we wrap this up I'm missing a lot of points

Speaker: 00:27:38

Erica

Speaker: 00:27:39

what

Speaker: 00:27:41

you're welcome for not telling you about that

Speaker: 00:27:42

by the way

Speaker: 00:27:42

I think you would have like lost sleep over that one

Speaker: 00:27:44

what am I missing

Speaker: 00:27:46

the other reason why your vision might have been

Speaker: 00:27:48

all of a sudden jacked up

Speaker: 00:27:49

is because somebody didn't follow the doctor's orders

Speaker: 00:27:52

on how to take their pills

Speaker: 00:27:54

oh yeah

Speaker: 00:27:54

there were these five pills

Speaker: 00:27:56

it's more than five and it says it's a staggerum

Speaker: 00:27:59

there's more than five pills

Speaker: 00:28:00

and I go you know

Speaker: 00:28:00

be quicker if we just took them all

Speaker: 00:28:04

that's not what you did what do you mean

Speaker: 00:28:07

you said on the box

Speaker: 00:28:09

it said take pills daily as directed or something

Speaker: 00:28:14

yeah

Speaker: 00:28:14

and then you open it up and it's like a bubble pack

Speaker: 00:28:17

and there's written instructions under each bubble

Speaker: 00:28:20

yeah but you didn't read that

Speaker: 00:28:21

you just read the outside said

Speaker: 00:28:22

take pills as directed daily

Speaker: 00:28:24

and so you just took all of them

Speaker: 00:28:26

this one time right

Speaker: 00:28:28

raging like a mother hahaha

Speaker: 00:28:30

this one time this is a true story

Speaker: 00:28:33

I was really having trouble sleeping

Speaker: 00:28:35

yeah and I said

Speaker: 00:28:38

I feel like I need to take something and quiet my brain

Speaker: 00:28:40

that I wouldn't normally do this

Speaker: 00:28:41

and Erica said to me you can either take no no no

Speaker: 00:28:46

no she said you could take and I'm gonna make up words

Speaker: 00:28:49

she goes you could take no dose

Speaker: 00:28:52

you could take this hydroxyzine

Speaker: 00:28:54

you could take melatonin you could take this or this

Speaker: 00:28:59

and you remember what word I didn't hear

Speaker: 00:29:00

I didn't hear or and I go okay

Speaker: 00:29:02

I was very

Speaker: 00:29:03

I took everything you said I did not hear or and I go

Speaker: 00:29:07

she said take other stuff

Speaker: 00:29:09

I was very specific and then all day different options

Speaker: 00:29:12

I was surprised that you survived the evening

Speaker: 00:29:14

remember I didn't answer the phone

Speaker: 00:29:16

and it's cause I took all these yeah

Speaker: 00:29:17

you probably had severe respiratory depression

Speaker: 00:29:20

is what happened

Speaker: 00:29:21

you just used to slow down fucking rest no

Speaker: 00:29:25

how about the time that you had a little blue pill

Speaker: 00:29:28

not that one

Speaker: 00:29:30

viagrass blue okay so people like reference that yeah

Speaker: 00:29:34

yeah I'm not talking about that

Speaker: 00:29:35

I'm familiar what's my little blue pill

Speaker: 00:29:36

Ali versus unisome and you took the wrong freaking one

Speaker: 00:29:41

I've done that more than once

Speaker: 00:29:42

I have a loose I had loose unison and four months ago

Speaker: 00:29:45

my leg hurts

Speaker: 00:29:46

and you'd be like a unison and you be like

Speaker: 00:29:48

I'm sleepy but at least it doesn't hurt anymore yeah

Speaker: 00:29:51

that happened for for months

Speaker: 00:29:52

I was taking a unison

Speaker: 00:29:53

slap out of your hand and be like

Speaker: 00:29:54

what are you take

Speaker: 00:29:55

you're not taking the right thing total placebo

Speaker: 00:29:57

you can't date a duck it's not placebo

Speaker: 00:30:00

probably sedated you so much

Speaker: 00:30:01

you couldn't feel anything

Speaker: 00:30:03

so anyway

Speaker: 00:30:03

keep your pills in your bottles for safety reasons

Speaker: 00:30:06

and retake the day on instructions

Speaker: 00:30:08

read the instructions I was afraid to ask

Speaker: 00:30:09

coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask

Speaker: 00:30:12

I've put breast implants in on someone

Speaker: 00:30:14

and it was so scary because yeah

Speaker: 00:30:16

it doesn't matter the size

Speaker: 00:30:18

it matters the type of inflation yeah

Speaker: 00:30:20

I tested a bunch out but I've never jeez

Speaker: 00:30:23

just set you up for that one

Speaker: 00:30:26

no but like the plastic surgeon handed it to me

Speaker: 00:30:30

and I'm scrubbed it and he goes

Speaker: 00:30:31

do not drop that that's like whatever

Speaker: 00:30:34

how much money yeah

Speaker: 00:30:35

and I was like dah

Speaker: 00:30:37

so I'm like holding this

Speaker: 00:30:39

you know what's Iron balloon is like a C probably and

Speaker: 00:30:48

and we made a very small incision

Speaker: 00:30:49

and then you had this stuff

Speaker: 00:30:51

all of it in and I'm scared it's gonna like rupture

Speaker: 00:30:53

of course or we're pushing really hard

Speaker: 00:30:56

and the other side squeezes back out

Speaker: 00:30:57

I'm like if this thing flies across the room I'm dead

Speaker: 00:31:00

I'm dead yeah

Speaker: 00:31:02

crazy isn't it the body amazing