Douglas has an expansive background in global living and in business. He now resides in London with his wife of 21 years.

We hear about how technology affects mental health, and how executives also experience dark corners.

I learned about a South African proverb called “UBUNTU” which means that we are defined by humanity and how we help those around us or “the essence of being human” as explained by Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Truly a global conversation! And of course we talk about The Realize Foundation and the support from Douglas and his partner Geoff Hudson-Searle through ibem.

Mentioned Resources:

https://ib-em.com/therealizefoundation/

About the Guest:

Douglas is a senior business leader, executive committee member with substantial global commercial experience and co-author of a globally published book on innovation.

Douglas has over 25 years’ experience in business and leadership offering international exposure in USA, UK, and South Africa, having successfully grown and led significant businesses while launching innovative new products and client services complimented by having completed major M&A transactions.

Learn more at https://ib-em.com/about/

About Deana:

Deana Brown Mitchell is a driven, optimistic, and compassionate leader in all areas of her life.

As a bestselling author, speaker and award-winning entrepreneur, Deana vulnerably shares her experiences for the benefit of others. As a consultant/coach, she has a unique perspective on customizing a path forward for any situation. 

Currently President of Genius & Sanity, and known as “The Shower Genius”, she teaches her proprietary framework created from her own experiences of burnout and always putting herself last...  for entrepreneurs and leaders who want to continue or expand their business while taking better care of themselves and achieving the life of their dreams.

In 2022 Deana released the book, The Shower Genius, How Self-Care, Creativity & Sanity will Change Your Life Personally & Professionally.

Also, Deana is the Founder & Executive Director of The Realize Foundation. She is a suicide survivor herself, and vulnerably uses her own mental health journey to let others know there is hope. The Realize Foundation produces events and publishes books that let people know there are not alone.

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds” Jeremiah 30:17

https://www.realizefoundation.org/

https://www.facebook.com/RealizeFoundation

https://www.instagram.com/realizefoundation/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-realize-foundation/

https://www.youtube.com/@realizefoundation5598

https://twitter.com/ScarstoStarsTM

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Hi, everybody, it's Deana at the realized Foundation. And I'm here today with Douglas Lines from the UK. And I'm gonna let him introduce himself.

Fantastic. Thank you. And it's wonderful to be to be with you today in London and greetings from a very warm London, we are in the midst of a what we would define as a heatwave. For your listeners, you're probably wondering what is this accent, and I am actually a South African by birth, but also half Irish, so quite a mixed bag. And but I've lived most of my life in South Africa. It's first of all from from my side and my business partner, Jeff Hudson. So we are both co founders of our business RBM Group Limited based in London. And it's really our pleasure to be associated and partner with you. And what is an amazing journey in life and how you support others. And I'm sure we'll get to talk about that just now. But just a brief background to me personally, I am a professional being cancer. I'm a chartered accountant, and have spent a number of years in around the world. I've educated in South Africa as well as in the US. I was privileged to spend a year at Duke University of North Carolina. And I also worked in Washington DC, funnily enough, in the 90s when I was with Deloitte, so I think I arrived there during the blizzard of 94. And it was quite a culture shock for any youngster coming from Africa with never seen snow before. And I love it absolutely love the you know, the US have traveled extensively over the last 20 years. Yeah, I was a senior executive in a large bank, one of the big large banks in South Africa for 20 years. I did some read a lot of different portfolios, both in the retail and commercial banking, as well as the corporate investment banking. I June 2019. And my kids, I'm actually grant a grandfather. So I have a 15 year old granddaughter. And she's the epilogue Ma, but I've got a new grandson is the next epilate that my wife's on us. And they live in Germany. So you know, my kids live around the world. And during 2019, my wife and I decided to leave South Africa. And to venture forward and little did we know COVID was around the corner. So I was I was based in Germany for a year and a half, my wife and I. And that's a little bit of ropey German along the way to to get BA and subsequent to that I relocated to the UK a couple of years ago. So a global citizen, certainly, you know, challenging times, you know, I moved internationally three times, and three different continents in, you know, during the period before and after COVID. So we all took tremendous mental health strain, I'm sure you can speak for all of us have our own journeys. But it was it was added better for my wife. And because we've moved so many times as well. But it was an amazing journey, I got to do things I never did in my life. And I ended up co authoring a wonderful book on on digital innovation with some really great people around the world. And we published that book early last year. Clearly, being based in London, doing some amazing things with Jeff, we get to interact with a lot of various interesting businesses and a lot of technology. And it's interesting, because I think, you know, one doesn't think there's a there's a there's a link between technology and mental health. And you know, what you've seen and we can see it in the youngsters are considered my 15 year old granddaughter, they how they think the Gen Z's thinking around technology and how it influences their life. And equally have consumed our time maybe when we were young, we didn't have we barely had faxes and telegrams in those days. And so, you know, it's definitely technology has put enormous pressure on all of us in terms of accessibility in terms of our own attention spans and things like that. So Jeff and I, in our business in London, we're very curious around technology. But equally, I think we very values based individuals, and both it's very senior executives with both of us in excess of 50 years experience. So we've been in dark corners many times in our careers, you having to get out of those dark corners is certainly not easy. But it's been. I think all these these large instances give you wisdom. And so I was, you know, compare the definition of intelligence versus wisdom. I think wisdom is far greater. But yeah, I think, you know, one thing I was I was a thought leader at an event in London last year, and it was actually Jeff's book launch. And we have a wonderful African proverb, which we shared in South Africa and and I shared this at that thought leadership event and that really resonated It's called a boon to, and it's spelt Ubu. In T You were born to is a South African proverb, an African proverb, in essence, actually, which is really around humanity. And we are defined by those around us, we are defined by what we give to others, and how we help others around us. And it's an interesting one that, you know, it's one that, you know, like Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, you know, all subscribed to us, you know, how do we become a better version of ourselves, actually, by making others a better version of themselves? And so, part of our journey in our business here in London is really around how do we, as international thought leaders and guest speakers at events really share our message of how businesses intertwine and how important it is that the social fabric of society is an important part of that, in what we give back, you know, for example, you know, when we look at our lives, and we said, what is it that defines us in our purpose in our life, we wrote the book on digital innovation, the the 65 of us around the world, we all did it virtually. I was blessed to be one of the main authors of the main four, because and the thing that guided us and bonded us was not only the fact that we learned a tremendous amount from each other, but we wanted to give the world something back. And so we did, we gave the world, probably the best set of innovation models, and we gave it away for free. And so we have a wonderful link to a good friend of mines website. And if you new viewers, they can connect with me, and I can give them those links. But I think that's what enriches you in life is, you know, when you give to others, and you uplift others, when you see somebody down, you know, to pick them up. And that's what Jeff and I subscribe to as individuals as professionals as as human beings. So that's a little about me, in terms of what makes me tick in a way, my life journey, my wife, Anna, she's my absolute soulmate. And, you know, we we celebrated our 21 years of marriage this week. So it was a wonderful milestone. But But yeah, you know, super excited about what you're doing and what you do for the folks around you.

Well, thank you so much. It's nice to learn more about you. And congratulations on 21 years, where all the almost to 20. Almost there few more. But it was funny, because the way I met Jeff was we wrote in a book together in 2018, I believe, all journeys to success. And, you know, Tom, Tom Cunningham had reached out to me through LinkedIn, and said, you know, would you be willing to tell your story. And at that time, I had my event company that was eight years old at the time, and we were doing very well. And we did Corporate Incentive Travel and destination management work all over the state of Colorado. And we were doing, we were doing well, and then COVID happened and one, but it's, it was a experience, I'm so glad I had, it was an absolute joy to get to do events like that, and with the clients we worked with. And, you know, we worked with a lot of big corporate names that people would recognize, and we had to do events and got to be creative and got to, you know, work a lot hours, but you know, you know, really create experiences for people that were really awesome. And so we were working on this foundation. During that time, towards the end, right before COVID, we were, we were basically going to create it as a team building the arm or CSR, team building kind of activities around mental health. And that's how it started. And then when I closed, realized Colorado, I wasn't really sure what it was going to be. And so through the last three years, and it's become something very different than I had a vision for, but in a very good way. And so, for anyone that doesn't know listening, we publish books with people's stories called scars to stars. And we also have a podcast which you're probably listening to. So that's what we do, and we have to do some virtual events, around different topics with mental health as well. So our mission is all about conversations community, a personal story, and to in order for people to know they're not alone in whatever they're going through. So I'm excited to share it with more people. and get more people writing their stories and healing from things they don't even know they still need to heal from. And I think writing really, really does that.

Absolutely. I mean, I think, you know, one of the things I was, you know, my corporate career has always linked one's career to one's personal life and personal experiences. And one of the things that I was privileged to do was I worked with some professors from Stanford and Duke, and I built what we call a D, school design thinking school. And it really goes to the heart of human behavior and human sciences. And, you know, we do a lot of work with plants here in London and Europe and across the pond. But what we do see is, you know, and it's sad to see this is the proliferation of toxic leadership around mental health, and the direct correlation. You know, I also remember in my, my previous corporate career, we did a lot of advanced emotional intelligence training. And when we started to go into these deep immersion processes, and the hardest characters in the boardroom, were the ones who had the absolute biggest issues in life in terms of their mental health, and they just had this massive barrier in front of them that when you got through it was a tree and all fall down situation. So, you know, I think one learns in tremendous amount around human sciences, empathy, psychology, etc, etc. So, and we use these skill sets in our professional world, as well, in terms of how we coach and mentor founders, CEOs, executive teams, etc, etc. But equally, I think it's important to give back to society, it's important to give back to the communities around you, that support you. And that was probably during COVID, I think one of the greatest learnings you know, I believe the greatest failure in life is to live in as many countries as you can. And when I look at, you know, first world country, like, the United Kingdom, versus an emerging country, like South Africa, has been real challenges, it was amazing to see the support structure here in the UK, because they're just financially have got more as a country. And that was quite hard to I mean, there was an absolute culture of, of support and empathy. And, and I think that helped a lot of people, you know, in those very trying times, well, in emerging countries in South Korea, South Africa's any emerging market in the world, it's a lot more dynamic. In terms of their to, you know, we talk about our surroundings, and I'll give an example in South Africa. Crime is very hard. It's not Mexico, it's one of the highest crime, murder rates in the world. So as a South African you, when you live there, you live in constant fear. And so we become used to it you become indoctrinated into living this life are always wondering, you know, who's going to project me who's gonna break into my home, etc, etc. And you don't realize the impact that has on your mental health and just, that's pressure. So I think it's, you know, as I said, in Germany, when I've lived here, I think, you know, the Germans are very different. It's a very safe country, it's very decentralized a lot of small towns. And I went from a city of 12 million in Johannesburg to a town of 10,000. And it was a massive cultural shift, not just the language in the mindset of the Germans, but certainly, you know, the environment. And I think that, to me, is the richness and having traveled quite a bit in the US as well, you know, it's very different than other states are very different from other big cities are different. But it's, I think it's that, you know, what, what defines us in life is that the deep appreciation for humanity, keep appreciation for each other. And that rang home to me recently, when I've lost two people close to me through suicide. One was, again, someone, you know, who on the face of it was very jovial, was happy, was well educated at a good job. And they committed suicide unbeknown knowing the deep views of the feelings that that person had. And then, in the last month, we lost to someone who was part of our family not so long ago, and it was a massive shock that he that he committed suicide. He, you know, in his mid 30s, whole life ahead of him that a small child. So, you know, again, it brings home, the importance of, you know, you start, like, you can read something in like a book and say, Well, no, this person needs help. A lot of the times folks, you know, keep it to themselves and things unsaid. It's, it's, yeah, it's everything we do in life is just to, to give others time, or to help them to take that moment to have a conversation, to listen carefully and have empathy. And so, you know, that's really, Jeff and I have such a unique, you know, friendship, that we have such an aligned value system of our beliefs as my own family. So yeah, it's and that's why I think for Jeff and attributes to be part of And to be associated with you. This is really important prior to that, we were really very supportive of T child trafficking. And we supported a wonderful NGO who did a lot of good work around the world. And that so this is important to us in what we do in our, in our business here. And clearly, the other thing is we share the message to all those around us, and that we work with. And it's really important to laughs are getting easier, and it's getting more challenging. I think, this whole Russian Ukrainian conflict is putting tremendous pressure on supply chains worldwide, we've seen cost of living still, you know, your grocery baskets, probably 50% more expensive in the last year, we've seen all these pressures come to be and it's just, you know, all the sentiment, and I think it's the, throughout these challenging times, is to always remain, keep your head above water to keep those around you positive and see the opportunities, I don't think it's going to get any easier and operating environments around us. And it's nice to have that mindset and support structure. Simply what you guys do is really important to your community.

Thank you. And to your point about worldwide and travel, and, you know, I've traveled, I've been blessed in the travel department as well. And I've moved a lot. So there's been a lot of different places to. But I think part of part of what I'm so excited about is that the events we do are virtual, so anybody in the world can join. And our books have made it to many countries because we get royalties, I think the furtherest is Japan and in Australia that we've gotten royalties from so I know, our books are reaching people, you know, obviously we want to reach more people, and we want to be able to give people that message everywhere. And we're we have been working on how we could have a a process where we can share it more with homeless shelters and jails and libraries. And we have done some of that. But I would like to figure out how to do it on a bigger scale. So that's something we're we're trying to figure out. And I think the podcast is huge. We just launched it last month, and it's gonna reach a totally, totally different audience than we've been reaching, you know, with, with social media in general. So I'm excited about what what's the calm?

Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, it was interesting, Jeff and I were on a conversation this morning with the CEO of a really successful innovation business here in London, and he was sharing with us, you know, his philosophy on innovation, and one of the things he was doing was, you know, appropriate toilets for for a woman in refugee camps around the world. And he has access to an enormous innovation database of people who give her the time freely. And he's, you know, he's busy solving that he's busy saying, how do we, you know, through his innovators, and, and so I think it's these, as you rightly said, with these positive things to technology to, and it's to embrace the positive aspects of technology with reach. And they are, there is one example of an innovation business that, you know, gives freely through its members and innovators around the world and how to solve problems for some of the brightest people, you know, and as an innovator, so I think the virtual world has got its challenges. And I always let you to my granddaughter because of her age and reliance on your phone is to always embrace the positive aspects of technology and not the negative aspects. Because it's always a balancing, especially with the youngsters these days, and the influences that they have. But it is great, you know, technology in terms of your reach of your message, and your support worldwide. It's never been a better time to use technology for that.

I'm really excited about what's to come, you know, pre pandemic I had done in person events for 30 years, almost in a knot. I didn't even know what zoom was then. And so in 2020, I, I joined a group for a year about virtual events. And they're a company that does some of the biggest virtual events in the world. And so I learned a lot and I met a lot of people through that, that were in the coaching world and speaking world, which was was not something I'd ever really delved into. And so a lot has changed for me in three years about my approach and and what I'm doing and I feel like it's my purpose now.

Yeah, and that's amazing. I think, you know, when you have that clarity of purpose in your mind, it becomes unstoppable. And, as I said, I think using aspects of technology positively is, is phenomenal. You know, Jeff, and I see technology businesses every week, it is actually phenomenal the technology that's coming, we can't even keep pace with it, we experts. So, you know, to use it positively, to get to reach out and get their message out there is immensely powerful. And, you know, there's a lot of people who are looking for purposes, you don't necessarily are looking for a job, but looking for purpose. And, and, you know, you use when you start to create folks who evangelize what you stand for that purpose you become, it becomes even more compelling, because you've got the following that support you. So it's not just you alone, it's that following around the world. So as I said, technology is there's amazing use in the right way, and setting your business and what you do for for the communities can reach anywhere in the world coffee.

Yeah, I also got involved with an app. That is, it's called an it's a company called Action era that built the app. But I'm in volved, with somebody who has a different business that uses the app. And it's called GPS to life success. And it's really, there's a lot of coaches in there with different personal development things. So people can download this app for free, and you can see some of the content for free, or then you can pay a subscription to see more, but we have the realized foundation on there. And so people can we do monthly zoom calls to so we're just there if people want to join and ask questions or have a conversation, so it's just another outlet. But it's a really good tool for people who are trying to make intentional change in their life, or they're trying to, you know, just be better whether it's, you know, being more mindful or losing weight, or getting in shape, or it's all all of that in one. And so it's kind of a really cool app that you can have on your phone and learn from your people.

Yeah, there's a wonderful set of studies that have been done around longevity in life. And I know Harvard did a very, probably one of the longest business cases, over a number of decades, around longevity in life. And what was interesting out of the finding was, clearly we've always heard about the Mediterranean diet and those that live on the coast, and, but it's really around social interaction, we, as human beings, need social interaction around us. And that's one of the biggest things in life. And, you know, I always say to my family, that the most important thing in life is just to surround yourself with people that love you and care about you. When you have that, you have that, you know, that structure around you. And it does make a difference. And I think, you know, what we found, especially here during COVID, we, for example, elderly people who were living by themselves had no one to meet to talk to, you know, they were they were really suffering the significant mental health as well as people of all ages. And just the ability and people would, you know, go to their doorstep and talk to them from their doorstep. And it's the small differences that, you know, as human beings we can all make, and I think, you know, this, the busyness of life, and this is the other side of technology is the busyness of life as we sometimes forget the importance that we're all human beings, and that sometimes, instead of looking at your Apple phone, and what's happening, somebody you know, maybe just pause and have a proper conversation with them, makes all the difference in that person's life. So it's the mindfulness of just appreciating, you know, that we are defined by those around us. And that's where I come back to this African problem of Ubuntu. I believe Tom Cruise actually mentioned that recently because he was in South Africa. And he got to understand what a boon to stood for. And then he was at a presentation and it was nasty to Jeff and there we go. I was wrapped the public uses, also says it's really powerful. But it is it is a powerful proverb that in Africa, we live so yeah, I think from our side, we certainly excited about Association together with you at ease and Jeff and I will do whatever we can to support you globally, with our networks with our reach with our partners as strategic partners around the world to get the message out there as much as we can. So it's a journey we looking forward to and thank you for that. opportunity,

I really appreciate it, I really appreciate. You know, when I had my former business, I gave back to other people, and I never thought I would be on the other side. But it's, um, it's rewarding in a different way. And I think that it's, it's also been a place where people who are struggling with whatever it is, maybe they don't have people in their life that are supportive or even know what's going on, or they don't have anybody that will just listen and support them. And I think some people find that in our community, where they don't have it in their life otherwise. And so that's why our hope course on our website, that P is protect your mind. And it talks about, who are the people that are closest in your life? And are they supporting you? Or are they doing the opposite? And how can you evaluate that and maybe make some changes. So you do have the support you need. And, you know, otherwise, our community is always we have had people in our books that, you know, had family that weren't happy, they were writing what they were writing, and, you know, we've, they've been leaning on our community a lot more when they're in those situations, because you want to publish something, and there's somebody that you care about in your life that doesn't want you to and so, you know, dealing with that sometimes is, is hard. Or, you know, we've had a couple people write about human trafficking and sex trafficking. And one of them in the first book, she Vanessa, she grew up in a family in California that was involved in all of that. And so she was abused most of her life until she left home. And she helps women now heal from stuff like that. And so it's crazy to me that the tough things that people can go through, and then come out on the other side, and be such a healing presence for others. So

It's enormously it's enormously humbling, as well. And, you know, I had harrowing stories when I was in South Africa. One of them, you know, being an executive of a bank, and clearly money laundering is a big thing is organized crime is, is connected. And we stumbled on the biggest child trafficking ring in Africa, in downtown Johannesburg, and it was heartbreaking. You know, the good thing is the Chinese tried to put vestigators were there, they supported us, they closed it down. But you know, when you think about organized crime and all the tentacles that brings to the world, it's, it's terrible. And, and so you fight for that, you know, you fight for what's right, and you make it, you can make a difference in some small way. It's worth it, you know, but it's a it's a never ending journey. And the more we can support each other, the more we can have the support structures, and the programs that you run in your organization. It's, it's enormously rewarding to give back to society. So I actually agree with

Yeah, absolutely. And there's, there's so many people in the world doing good work. And there's so many. There's so much bad in the world that most people don't even understand. And I've learned more and more about in the last few years, because it's, you know, we have somebody writing in this next book that was trafficked. And I think he is still trying to put his memory together about a lot of things. And so it's, it's good to be able to help someone. process that and heal from it through writing. And the way we we have our, we have about a 12 week process to write your story in our book. And we do have someone who helps with editing and publishing and we have people that guide you along the way. And we have weekly calls. And, you know, there's been times when I've gotten on a call with people one to one because they're having a, you know, a certain situation that they need help with. So it is a very supportive process. And like when I wrote in books before, I never had an experience like that, where I even met the other authors that were involved. And so I think it's a it's a great experience, and the people who've been through it have have said that as well.

Absolutely. And I know that you do the process twice a year, the 12 week. process was in May in September for not mistaken. Yeah. It's a great initiative in terms of you know, is it helping those folks and I look forward to To be part of this exciting that, I'll leave you with one very, probably one of the most fascinating stories of all my travels. My my granddaughter went to a special learning learning school in Johannesburg and South Africa. And, and I got to get involved with the headmaster, and the teachers and my wife and I and my daughter just in supporting my granddaughter. And he told me a wonderful story of a young girl who was in a car accident. And she, she was badly brain damaged. And her chances of really having an MRI talking probably 10 years old, and her chances of survival and having a normal life was, was nil. And what was interesting was her father never gave up on him. He believed in her and every day, you would go see the teacher and say, What did she forget, because she couldn't remember things her short term memory was was non existent. And every day, he'd go home and reaffirm what she'd missed that day. And over a period of her schooling career, he helped to rebuild her neural pathways in her brain. And she became a qualified teacher herself. And when I listened to that story of just the commitment and the love of a parent and advocate, the case, and the pure dedication, and no matter how tough it was, you know, I think we can all learn from stories like that in terms of, you know, overcoming challenging things in our life. And that was one that really, you know, really caught me because I just think it's, it's such an amazing story and the power of the human brain that we've never experienced and never realized, as they was really demonstrated. So yeah, I think the more we can, as I said, help others and the journeys in life in a way we can. Sometimes it's in a small way, is meaningful. And, and I always believe that if you can make someone a better version of themselves, and you become the best version of yourself, as a professional, as a, as a husband, as a grandfather, as a person of the community, because in all those aspects. And so to dinner from my side, as I said, on behalf of Jeff and I, we enormously proud to be associated with you and the work that you do. And you call upon us in terms of our strategic partners here in London, and we look forward to walking the path together.

Thank you so much. That was a beautiful story. And we do have a lot to learn about our brains are very powerful, but I really appreciate your support. And it was nice to meet you. And again,

and, and to the resulting just listeners in just, you know, just doing every single day make a small difference in anybody's life. Just that one degree difference that can make a real difference in years to come. Thank you, Deana. Have a wonderful, wonderful day.