In this episode, Jessica Ann Ellis shares her journey from teacher to children's author, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence, self-care, and modeling healthy emotional responses for children. Discover how her books aim to foster emotional awareness and support parents and educators in nurturing resilient, emotionally strong kids.

keywordschildren's books, emotional intelligence, parenting, self-care, mental health, childhood development, storytelling, emotional expression

key topics

• The importance of emotional intelligence in childhood
• How parents and teachers can model healthy emotional responses
• The role of storytelling in emotional development
• Jessica Ann Ellis's journey from teacher to children's author
• The impact of support systems and self-care for parents and caregivers

guest nameJessica Ann Ellis

titles

• The Power of Emotional Expression in Children's Books
• From Teacher to Author: Jessica Ann Ellis's Journey

Sound Bites

• "You can do anything you put your mind to"
• "Feeling your feelings is a superpower"
• "Support from others helps children feel brave"

Chapters

00:00Introduction and Jessica's creative process

02:03The role of emotional modeling in parenting

05:06The importance of emotional expression and healthy coping strategies

09:09Jessica's journey from teaching to writing children's books

14:59Creating books that foster emotional awareness and resilience

19:57The impact of support systems and self-care for parents

24:59How stories help children understand and express feelings

29:58The creative process behind 'Got Your Back Always'

34:55Reactions from children and adults to the books

40:02The importance of community and trusted support

45:07Final thoughts and upcoming projects

Resources

• Jessica Ann Ellis - Facebook
• Got Your Back Always (Book)
• In Your Heart Always (Upcoming Book)
• https://ellis-books.com/ (Website)

Guest links

• Facebook

Host links

• specialedrising.com
• https://www.gofundme.com/f/join-rays-respite-care-mission

it's good for the kids to see us too, how we handle things in the moment, because you could easily get frustrated and, if you just stay calm, cool and collected, just gather your thoughts. What can I do to, regroup and figure this out? It's good for everybody to see it and to be in it, to practice it yourself.

it absolutely is. It's it's great modeling. I mean we have a I'm gonna introduce you and then I'm gonna wanna continue this conversation, then we're gonna get into it.

Of course.

Jessica Ann Ellis, welcome to the podcast. It's such a delight to have you.

thank you so much for having me, Mark.

My pleasure. And not to be confused with Jessica Ellis, who is another author So we want to make sure that people know it's Jessica Ann Ellis. because I went

Yes.

down that path initially when we were first in contact. but as far as the modeling goes, you know, because I think this might be a nice transition into into your book, and

kids are looking to us every day. it's really how we respond to things and how we deal with situations is how they're gonna, most likely integrate that into their lives and how they're gonna respond to things later too. so I think that's something that we need to be very aware of as a parent. You know, that's that's part of our responsibility, how we do that. how does that work for you as a as a parent?

I agree with you a hundred percent. I mean, I always like to say that my biggest motto as being a mom that I've learned is I'm not perfect by any means. I'm never

Mm. Right.

trying to be perfect, but I'm always trying to show up and do my best. And that's that's what I can do. And it's incredible. I've noticed with my boys, just their little eyes are watching everything. They take in everything, even when you don't think they are.

And I see it when I see them almost modeling back and I go, Wow, you really are responding to that

Mm-hmm.

in a way that I would, or you sound like me. I'll hear them talking to other adults or their teachers and I'm like, my gosh, that's like what I would have said. So it's incredible. It really is just incredible. And it's the biggest honor, you know, to say that you get to be that role model, that special person in someone's life.

It's when you really think of it, it's such a huge responsibility. You almost

absolutely. Yeah.

can't even like get into that because it's just so much sometimes.

I would think it'd be overwhelming if you really thought about it, yeah.

If you really, really thought about it, but if I know if I can just show up every day trying my best, being there, then I know I've done enough.

Yeah. Is it weird to hear yourself through them? Yeah.

it is. It is. Like

I I heard my son one day and he said something along the lines like, I'm not available to do that. And I'm like, he's seven.

Ha ha ha.

And I'm like, that's like what I say to my husband sometimes, friends, co-workers.

So funny.

seven years old, I'm not available to do that. It was so funny. And yeah, he's hearing that from me.

It's hysterical. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Like you said, they're watching it every moment, you know, especially those challenging moments, how you react to a a situation. If you're able to take that space, and respond in a way that is going to be kind of productive, more productive to the moment and aware of the people in your environment and how you're impacting them, then

it is so true because I don't know about you, but growing up in my generation, so we talked about this before, how that wasn't necessarily the situation. I feel like our parents they did the best they could with the resources they had, but it was a different time. today parents, we are encouraged to

Teach our children to express their feelings, not to keep it inward and push it down. And this is exactly what my book is all about. We can talk about that later.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

But I was used to seeing a lot of just explosiveness in my home, you know, particularly my father, my brother, I feel more from the males during my generation. Yeah,

Totally same, same, absolutely. Yeah.

just because they didn't have the strategies.

They weren't taught those strategies. They weren't embedded earlier on on like what to do when you're feeling frustrated or angry. You know, things you can do first to calm yourself down before

Mm-hmm.

it's time to approach the problem or talk to someone about it. I remember just seeing lots of yelling, lots of anger. And it's really shifting the narrative now for parents today. You know, we are encouraging our kids to use.

strategies like drawing, talking about it, breathing. there's tons of strategies that work for your children. Everyone's different. Everyone has a different toolbox. But it's almost like teaching our children, we're teaching ourselves too. And that's so what I found later in life becoming a mom, that really it was like reteaching or a rebirth in myself

Mm-hmm.

on how to deal with

emotions appropriately because I had to get a handle on it so I could teach my children. Yeah.

Yeah.

that's the

it's a huge point and it's come up in a few recent interviews that I've had, the idea of, self-checking, as a parent, you really need to know who you are and and what you feel and think about things in order to be able to, certainly have any expectation of your child. it can't be this one thing. It has to be that you meet your child where they are, But if you know yourself, then you're able, I think, to deal with situations.

You don't get offended by things as much. I think that's what used to happen when we were kids. Like, the parent would get offended if you didn't respond to them the way they expected, then, and then they would just blow up at you, you know. And I think, that happened for me as a young guy, you know, when I was pushed to a limit with my brothers or whatever, wasn't people on the outside necessarily, but family-wise.

I didn't know what to do, would light a fuse and I would just like lose it in that moment. It was all that build-up, and I had to really recognize that that's not a way to live, it's not how I want to be. And so I had to really work hard at that. And that's what we don't want our kids to have to do, right? That's why therapy is so lucrative. Because we don't want our kids to have to grow up and have to decide, okay, that's not what I want to be because that's not been a good model for me. It's it's not productive and it's not healthy.

in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally. now I have to do the work to kind of reinvent myself. You know, so as a parent and as a teacher, we have that opportunity to really foster that at a young age to try to shape that. And I think that's it sounds like that's the goal of your work. So

Segueing into that, could you just give us a little bit of background about you yourself and then I want to go into how you created your heart, body and mind collection or at least began it and and where we're gonna go with that.

Yeah, absolutely. So I began my career as an elementary school teacher. I worked in the public schools for over ten years. And then my husband and I, we had our first baby, and that's when everything really took a pivot for me. So when I had my first baby, I was planning to go back to teaching elementary school, but we noticed early on

There were some concerns with his development and just what was going on. It didn't seem very typical, but it was so hard too because, you know, being a first time parent, you just don't really know. I mean, no one no one knows. They don't come with a how to guide, a manual. Yeah.

No handbook. Yeah.

So, you know, we just were keeping an eye on things. And long story short,

He was having trouble in a lot of areas with his eating, with his gross motor, his speech and whatnot. So I decided that I was not going to go back to work. And that was a really, really hard decision for me because a big part of my identity had always been being a teacher. I loved it. But it was also, you know, it's like I couldn't have both because

I wanted to be the best mom to my son. And that to me was so important. I knew that if I went back teaching, I wouldn't be able to bring him to his therapies. I wanted to be the person to bring him to his therapies. I wanted to be that person that was helping him at this early development in life. So there was like that struggle. It's what did they say? Two things can be true. You

Mm-hmm.

know, there was so much happiness in being a mom.

And this new phase in life and being able to be there because I understand that's not everyone's situation. Some people do want to be home and they're not able to. So that was

Yes. Right.

great. But there was also that grieving of that person I was, a teacher that I had to stop.

Mm-hmm.

And you know, that was hard. Two things at one time. So

Sure.

fast forward, my son, by the way, is doing wonderful. He has

Miles. He still does receive some therapies, but not as many as he did early on. That early intervention really, really helped him. And I know they say studies, if you can get your child in early intervention as soon as possible, it's going to help shape them and help them along. And we we're proof of that. I mean, his success is really just doing so well.

So then I had my second child and it was around COVID. And

Hmm.

again, I was thinking, is it time to go back to teaching? I'm feeling like I want to, but COVID hit, and my second child was born. And from there on, it was just, I'm home. I'm a stay-at-home mom. You know,

Okay.

I was a stay-at-home mom for a good eight years,

Mm-hmm.

and that was wonderful. And I don't ever take that time back. It had its challenges.

It was really hard being a stay-at-home mom, being in that role all day, every day. But, you know, it was

Mm, yeah. my gosh.

a season of our lives. And I'm so glad and thankful I was able to do that. So my youngest son now was getting ready to go to kindergarten and I just couldn't believe it. it hit me. I was my gosh, they both are going to be gone.

And out into the world. my gosh, like we had been tethered. Yes,

Well I do.

for eight years. all three of us, we were like this little tribe, and I just couldn't believe it. And I was having all of these feelings. All of these feelings. I mean, did I say enough? Did I teach them everything I had intended? I know they're not going far. They're just going to school, but they're gonna be on.

their own and I just started writing about it. I've always loved to express myself in writing. I feel like that's almost like a way for me to do a little bit of therapy. So I just started writing and I did traditional pen and paper, just scratching notes, lots of scribbles. I mean I could show you sometime this paper that I have. And eventually

Mm-hmm.

this story came to be. And it wasn't like I started writing it beginning, middle to end, but it was almost like I started this one part of the story, the middle of the story. And then I built the beginning of the story and then an ending. And I kind of put it all together and I created this story. I told one of my friends, she's actually one of my girlfriends' moms.

so she's been a part of my life forever since I was in third grade. we went out to dinner at one point in time, and I said, I think I want to turn this into a children's book. And she looked at me and she goes, You should. Like I like her reaction to what I said changed it all for me. I thought that could have gone either way. She could have said, nice, you know, like she could have kind of brushed it aside.

Yeah, right. Mm-hmm.

Which I knew she wouldn't, which is why I think I felt so safe telling her this, because it was the first time I said it out loud. And her reaction really was that turning point to me that I think in my life right now I'm ready for a pivot because I knew teaching didn't fit in our lifestyle anymore. You know, I had my my son, he has his therapies, he has, his struggles, and he still

really, really needed me. And going back to a traditional classroom teaching position would be so hard for me, our family, our lifestyle. It just didn't fit into life right now for us. And, you know, I really just wanted the best for him and the best for us. And I thought maybe writing a children's book would be my way of teaching others in a different way. And it got me really excited. it ignited this

spark within me. I was just really so excited about it and still now it's been almost two full years I've been doing this.

Mm.

I'm still just so excited every day. I wake up and it's just so fun to use this creativity in different ways to teach people. I'm just enjoying it so much. I'm on a mission.

You're on a mission and

We're on a mission

and it's another way to teach and it doesn't have to be the traditional way. I can relate through the podcast that that was the intention was to somehow still be able to impact people in a positive light, but not have to be in the classroom anymore. And so after retiring, this was this was one of the things, one of the options, actually born out of COVID because it wasn't a lot of options at at that time. However, so many things that I want to touch upon that you that you you talked about.

the selflessness of a mom. I know that there's moms that make the sacrifice that you've made that will look back later in in life as the kids grow up, get out of the house, move on with their life, and be like, wow, did I did I miss an opportunity, to have me and fully develop myself. But what you're doing for your kids

First off, being a mom should be designated literally a job. It should be a job. the stay at home mom thing I always seems to imply it hits me wrong because it always it feels like I don't know, there's some sort of almost negative connotation to it, like you're not working. Meanwhile you're doing a full time twenty four seven job, which most people would run away from, you know, most men for sure. and so, you know, these moms I just want

Not like kudos to you because what you're giving to your children is a gift that

It's just not gonna happen if you don't make the sacrifices that you make. And so I I hope for you you'll never ever look back with regret. And and I know that all these questions because I've heard them from other moms too, did I do enough? Did I do this? Did I do that? looking at the things that didn't work out and focusing on those things that didn't work out. You're doing the best that you can under some really crazy conditions. And also, as you said, there's no handbook. You don't know. So you're you're feeling it out as you.

you

go. So kudos to you, congratulations on that. But then now rising out of this period where your kids now are going to school and finding another purpose for yourself, in an area that you love and have passion for, that's

Lucky right? Not everybody gets to have that. But what a wonderful, wonderful thing. So I'm so happy for you because as I've gotten to know you, you are literally from the second I met you like the most delightful person. You're just so easy and just kind and all of that comes through. So like heart, mind, body, it all seems to flow naturally from you.

Can you talk about how those elements interact in your process in creating your book? As of now you have the you have one book, correct? Yes. And I'll hold it up too. Yes.

I do. So this one, I'll hold it up. It's called perfect. Thank you.

So it's called Got Your Back Always. This one is published. It's actually one year old tomorrow. Tomorrow is its book birthday. I know. So this

wow, happy birthday. That's perfect.

is, So this one is out right now. And my second one, it's called In Your Heart Always.

So it always has that word always in it. That's kind of my little key phrase in my collection of books. That

Mm-hmm.

one's coming out in just a few months. Yes. So this one, I can tell you a little bit about it.

Okay, great. Please, yes.

sure, Got Your Back Always is a it's a heartwarming story. All of my stories are heartwarming and it highlights how support from others helps children feel brave as they grow and face new experiences.

and inside the book, it's written in the point of view from a parent, but not just parents can read it. It's also very appropriate for any grown up that is raising emotionally strong children.

Mm-hmm.

It could be read by teachers, it could be read by counselors, any kind of family member, anyone who just has a child in their life.

Yes, and can I interject? When I read it, adults can read this book. It doesn't have to be for children, adults can read this book for themselves. Because we'll talk

Yes they can. Yes they can.

about that a little bit. I just want to make that point now. Go ahead. Yes.

Let's definitely talk about that because

that is definitely true.

so inside the story it has this chant. Say it loud, say it proud, don't push the feelings down. Expressing how you feel can help you deal. So that was like that phrase I came up with first, like I was telling you

Hmm. Yes.

And I wanted to have some sort of story that rhymed that

had repetition in it and something that would keep the kids really engaged. also some fun little facts too. I told both of my boys, I gave them an illustration dedication. I said you each can have a hidden picture in the book. So my oldest

really?

son he loves cars. So

Mm-hmm.

this this car is for him. So every

Yeah.

time we see this page we know it's for him.

And my youngest son loves turtles. So every time you see this page, this one's for him. And he does.

I love that phase.

This, this is my son. He, my youngest, he explodes. and we're working on it so hard. So it's very appropriate. But I was really hoping that the kids would see themselves in the character in this book. there's all sorts of different emotions. You'll see the character feeling overwhelmed.

you'll see the character feeling a little embarrassed.

You'll see the character feeling angry, like I just showed you.

Mm-hmm.

You'll also see him feeling sad. And I feel like it's something that, we talk about with our children. We talk about feelings, but it hits differently when they see it in a book. children can be talked to and talked to, and I'm feeling sad. I should do this when I feel sad. But something changes when they see it.

In a character in the book, they can like resonate with it differently. And it's like they could read it over and over and over again when they see themselves in these characters. So I've been told from so many families that this book was just a wonderful way to start conversations, meaningful conversations about feelings, about how the people that love you in your life are there for you.

no matter what. That's why I wrote this book. I wanted to show my kids you can feel any emotion that you want. You know, we need to express ourselves in a healthy way, but you can feel any emotion you want and I'm gonna be there for you by your side no matter what through it all.

It's the

greatest gift you could give your child, honestly, 'cause you're allowing them to be themselves and express themselves.

Exactly.

That's all we can do. We can't change them. They are who they are. And if we can support them, that is the greatest gift we give our kids. Okay.

absolutely. And

you know, books like this, when we're feeling the emotions, especially as children, we don't understand them. So we don't know what they mean for us. And I think when you're just talking to them about it, it's still a kind of an abstract thing. But when you put it in a book or in something that's tangible, it's a reflection back to them. So it's like something they they see, okay, that's what that is. That's what that means. You know, it's something concrete for them and so they can relate to it. So in a way you're giving kids a reflection of

their emotions to be able to relate to it and that is incredible and that's something that I think as you say as parents we're evolving to be this this entity that actually helps our kids understand what they're going through.

I know there's people out there that don't like the whole touchy-feely thing in d but you know, w what are we gonna raise and we're just raising robots, you know, and people without emotions and people that then are isolated internal and they don't know how to respect and treat other people, you know. We have to learn be able to treat ourselves and respect ourselves and then we can have that for others.

It's so true. And that social emotional learning. I've been so impressed with my kids' school. It has been integrated and woven into their curriculum so nicely because it's so true. not having that emotional intelligence or having that just that emotional awareness. If you're not there and not available to learn, how are you going to thrive? You know, yeah, it starts with the emotion. It starts with feeling well.

And when you're feeling well, then you're available to learn, to excel in your extracurriculars in all areas of life. So really this is the forefront of what we need to be teaching our kids so they feel well to be able to do all the other amazing things in their life.

Yeah.

thousand percent and I think through my therapy through the years we're trying to like overcome some of the things I mentioned earlier and just you know find out who I was the whole idea of feelings are not actions so it's like teaching that you can feel whatever you want to feel. You can feel the worst feeling in the world. You can feel the most aggressive feeling in the world. It's it's what we do with those feelings, we don't act

on those violent feelings, right? We don't want to do that. We want to feel but we also want to be able to find

Other ways, other outlets, as you actually said earlier. and so I think that's really important because there's that sense of when we feel something terrible, we're a bad person, you know. but we're not. We're just human beings trying to figure it out, and we do have emotional responses to things, but we don't want to react to those things. We don't want to act them out. So I think what I liked about your book is it it gives that freedom for kids, it it sends that early.

message that you can feel whatever you want to feel. And it's interesting that you say you wrote it from the middle out because in just listening to you, I'm trying to imagine how I envisioned how I read it because I felt like

if I thought about it as an airplane, right? What you're the beginning of it is just kind of like taxiing on the runway and then the middle just it takes off, 'cause I felt like it just there was this change where all of a sudden you really hit the emotions. There was this nice poetic rhyming introduction that kind of softened things. And then boom, you started hitting the feelings. And then you landed the plane with a nice conclusion, you know? And I just thought that was really, really well done 'cause I felt myself almost physically respond.

to it, when I when

yes.

I got past the first couple of pages, all of a sudden I was like I could feel this this charge a little bit in me. And I thought that was really well crafted. So

Mm-hmm.

that was that accidental or is it that was intentional.

No, I so

th like I that just you have no idea what that makes me feel. Thank you. Because we had mentioned earlier how this book isn't just for the kids, but it's for adults too. I mean, there is so much research out there how picture books, children's picture books, are not just for kids, but for adults too. And that was exactly my intention. In this moment, I remember writing it. It was a raw moment.

I was in my feelings. And I could have easily gone to take a walk. I could have easily, I don't know, done another strategy, some breathing, taking a time out. But I did take to writing because I just felt like there was something there that I needed to get out and it's gonna be like really deep and meaningful. And I was hoping that a lot of adults would connect with this too in an emotional way. I've heard they have. It's brought a lot of tears to people.

Or it's resonated with them because it's what they, it's them, it's what they felt too. and that just means the world to me because that was my intention. I know we had mentioned too

It's crazy.

how you can feel whatever you want to feel, and that's okay, but we have to express our emotions in a healthy way. There's even some examples in the book. It says, Tears are words, the mouth can't say.

Dancing, writing, or painting are other great ways. It even gives kids a few examples of what they could do to, express their emotions, but certainly not limited just to these. There's a million.

Well right. I

I think that sparks for them that like maybe mom doing this or or building something or maybe that mom, maybe that dad, yes, that kind of thing, encouraging the conversation. It's like a conversation starter, for them. Yeah. I love that.

Exactly. That's what I was

hoping.

yeah, because I wanted to go back and and just kind of look at the big the beginning part of it, where you're talking about experiences of indelibility, leaving lasting impressions of unforgettability, and then the parents being there supporting your child throughout that when there's things heavy on your mind, and then you go into the feelings part, starting with the calm, comfortable place, and then boom, say it loud and say it proud and on and on.

and and that's when it kinda just elevated for me, you know.

Yeah.

yeah, and it's so cool that you actually crafted it that way with that in mind.

I did. Like, so I remember teaching. I can get into that.

Yeah.

So, because I think you had asked me before if I've ever written books before. This is my first official go-around edit.

Mm-hmm.

I have to say though, when I was a third grade teacher, my absolute favorite time was writing time and reading time, the the ELA, the English language arts block.

Right.

Because

I just loved it. And I remember there was this one program I taught. It was actually most recent to when I had left teaching. So I only had like very few years practicing it and teaching it. It was called the Lucy Calkins Writers Workshop. And I I believe schools have now driven away from it and they're I know school systems are always using different programs to to teach their

Yeah. Constantly.

Yeah.

their

curriculum. But at that time that's what we were working with for ELA. And I just remember being fascinated by this program. It was so interesting. It was all about crafting and turning your small moments into big stories. And when you think of it, really I turned a small moment into a big story. It was

both of my sons were now getting ready to go off to school. So that's a moment, that first day of kindergarten for my youngest son. And I turned that emotion into a story. And I remember it was really cool how she taught us step by step how to, make your story so meaningful and vibrant, like create a meaningful hook.

to lure your readers in. I remember that was one thing I thought of. I wanted to create a good hook. And then also like you said, how it was that beginning, then that like rise of action middle and then end. I really wanted to keep that momentum and I kept that in mind for the middle of my story to like keep readers engaged and then end it.

and also to have a memorable ending. I just remember using all of those tricks that were taught and what I used

Mm-hmm.

to teach my students. It was like now I was practicing and

Yeah.

that just really helped me navigate the manuscript. Yeah, it was fun. It was really fun.

Well it worked. It worked.

And it's really a great lesson for adults and parents of all stripes, really, when you're facing things that are difficult. You know, what is your outlet? Right? So you writing for you was the way for you to manage and express yourself. You know, and I think parents

gets so overwhelmed by the responsibility I mean, there's all levels of parents as far as those that have it a little easier because financially they're secure and then the the other complete a hundred and eighty degree opposite. and so for those people that have more struggles, it's really, really hard to find themselves in that scene,

And I still always try to encourage something, something in your day, some touchstone in your day for you to remember that you're still a value and then you have worth and you have something to offer this world other than just being a parent, you know, to know that that's important. but to have these outlets because for you, the writing now you can identify yourself as as an author, not the mom part. Yes, you wrote about being a mom, but you're an author, and that's

something else, right? And I think that's really, really a great lesson that you went and found something for you. And I want parents and caregivers to understand. And to teachers too, because teachers get lost in the sauce too. Like it's like teaching is for a lot of people can become everything and they have to find that balance. I was curious how your son reacted to the image of him in the shell did you talk to him about it before you wrote that part or did you show him that afterwards?

I did. So it's funny. so I can tell you the reactions to both of my sons.

Yeah.

They both were completely different the way they reacted. So my oldest son, he is my biggest cheerleader. He is always asking me about my book, so excited about the book. He loves when I come to his school to read. Just he loves it. My

Yeah.

youngest son, the one who really inspired me to write about this story.

He has a little bit of reservation about the book. I don't know if he is I he is still so young. He's seven. So

So young, yeah. Right.

I don't really know if he really knows what is the thing that he feels about this book, but I know he gets more embarrassed when I talk about my book. I don't know if for him it's different seeing me in a different light other than mom, because I was always

Right there with them, just being mom. And now I'm going to readings. I'm going to book events. And it's this change. I know he would get really upset at first when mom was doing something other than being mom and doing book things. So he we're still trying to figure it out. He's more reserved. Yeah, he gets like a little angry about it.

You're mine. You're mine. You're my mom. Yeah. Hmm.

And like just to piggyback off of what you saying, it's so necessary for caregivers and parents to have something for themselves. Like I definitely got lost in motherhood those early years. I did. And it was hard. It's a hard, lonely, dark place when you're just in it. And it's not selfish, you know. I think some parents might even consider it

I can't, I can't carve out this little time. But in the end, you have to remember it makes you a better parent because when you feel full, when you fill your cup a little, it doesn't have to be much. It could just be an hour, a week, a half hour, something little that you get joy from, you're gonna show up better to care for those people that are counting on you. So in the end, it's gonna help everyone. It's if you're gonna hurt yourself more by just not.

doing anything for yourself.

a thousand percent. I think it's the work ethic in this country is always the you know, pushing to work and to produce and produce and produce. Meanwhile, we need to step back and rest 'cause as you said, we will show up better. And I always thought that too in business and in as a teacher, whatever, when you're encouraged and you're told that you've done a great job, you'll come back with extra effort the next time because you know all you need is that little bit of pat on your on your back. And sometimes we have to give that pat to ourselves.

And so that is a great message and I I really appreciate you saying that because I know that the guilt is a really important point. People do feel guilty that they're they should be doing more. I mean, you know, how much can we do? we're just a human being. We're one person. And I think that's why it's so important to lean on others as well and know that we're not supposed to have to do everything by ourselves. whether it's you're you know you're married or not married, your friends, like you said, you had your friend's mom

someone that you trusted to be able to say, okay, I can do this, even with there's potential self-doubt, Find those people in your lives that you trust, that can give you that kind of feedback. I have that when I play music, I'm late, blooming musician kind of deal and I go out and I sing. I never imagined I could sing. And I have people that will, kind of look at me and go, really? And others that really enjoy it. And so it's like who do you

believe so you want to be able to continue to stand up and get out and do the things that you want to do and I I think you find those people that your life that you trust that will be honest with you is really really helpful. And sorry I went off a little bit of a tangent there.

It's true. No, not at all. But

I I agree completely because I know in motherhood a lot of times you hear find your village, you know, and your village does not need to be this astronomical number of people. It could just be those few handful of people that you can rely on when you're feeling a little burned out. Okay, I think I need a little time to recharge. You know, maybe that person can help you out so you can do that thing, so you can come back.

and feel, more full and ready to show up in a way that you want to for those people who rely on you. You know, I count on my husband a lot. We have a few family members too. and we know we can rely on one another to help each other. It's

Mm-hmm.

so important.

It is. It's really well said and for our children, it's a great model for them too, because they can see, you know, I don't have to do everything by myself. I don't always have to climb that mountain by myself. You know, there's somebody else there to help pull me up some rope. You know, it's really important to know that. Yeah.

Yeah. It has

everything to do with the book, Got Your Back Always. Like find those people, those trusted people in your life who have got your back. You

Mm-hmm.

know, you're not meant to go about life on your own. find those people who are going to support you. Even grown ups. Right?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think

we all need reinforcement throughout our lives, you know. I mean, well at least I think if you're open to the idea that we're all imperfect and that we will fail at times, you know, that we know it's important to have that support. I I guess some people are really confident and they don't feel like they need that extra help, but good

Wow.

you know, good on them. But I feel like maybe there's just not something that's being recognized, but

When you talk about your collection, you design it for children and for families. What are some of the main points that you want parents and families to take away from your book?

Mm, that's a great question. really, I wrote these books when I say books, so my got your back always, and then the one that's coming out later this year in your heart always. I'm also hoping there will be a third down the road, the heart body mind.

Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine these could

be yeah, I was gonna say you gotta touch the third one, right? Yeah.

That's right. That's right.

That's in the making to be continued.

Mm-hmm.

but I really, really wanted to create a space to start a conversation, to read, connect, and grow. That's kind of my motto that I've been using. helping children and families read, connect, and grow. Because it's one thing to read the book, but then to take it the next step further, connect with it. You know, whether this resonates with you in your life right now.

whether there's a part of the story that you see within yourself, a character within the story that you see within yourself, just a touching point to start conversation. And then in the end, that third word grow help helping you just grow emotionally as a person, learning new strategies. I'm really just hoping it's a tool for families to help them, and not just families, teachers as well, because I've heard a lot of

great feedback that a lot of teachers are using this book in their classrooms. It's like a touch point to start a conversation to help

Mm-hmm.

children grow more awareness.

Yeah, and I think it's beautiful and I think it ultimately ends up fostering more confidence and independence, you know, as children grow, if they have a a sense of that their feelings were all okay and to have, they give the confidence, they don't have to judge themselves. They're not constantly looking and saying, What's wrong with me for feeling this way? They can say that's just part of life, this is this is a normal feeling.

Yep. I know

when I was young, so we haven't talked about this yet. when I was young, so I grew up, my mother immigrated from Italy. So she came to America when she was three years old with her family. So if you can imagine, and then my father too, he's from a family of all boys, five boys, Irish Catholic. I mean,

Yeah.

so I'm kind of painting the picture. So

Feelings were not talked about in my childhood. I'm it's painted a clear picture, I'm sure. Yeah.

Got the picture. Yes.

So, I'm a person, I have to admit, I'm very sensitive, highly sensitive, I would consider myself. I had a lot of feelings, and I still do. And I was not taught at a very young age what to do with them. The response most of the time was you're okay, you know, like

My parents, my mom in particular, she was there for me. I could go to her, I'd be anxious or worried. And the response was, You're okay, it's okay. And then you move on. And those feelings were still there. there was no processing of it. I never learned strategies how to deal with them. and it was confusing, right? Because those feelings were there. They came up a lot. I

Felt them all the time. I didn't know what to do with them. And now, fast forward, I'm a grown woman, now a mom, and my kids are having these same feelings. And like we talked about, almost having to reinvent myself and learn strategies along with them so we could process this together. It was wild. It was a wild time.

Yeah. That's wild. Yeah, and your willingness to do that.

And it's funny because the word strategies is so tossed around now, When we were like no one knew strategy. A parent didn't think about a strategy. There was the word was not even in part of their vocabulary. you just did, you reacted, you moved on, and that that was it. You didn't reflect upon things. And yeah.

Right.

because I can I can say the same too. It was it was just like I was a very sensitive, overly sensitive is how it was described to me, which is

Yeah.

a very negative thing, but I'm like.

Yeah.

You know, and that's what used to used to be the button, the trigger that would cause me to finally blow up. Because it was like

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just being me and I'm having these feelings that I don't know what to do with them, And

When you're constantly being told that you're oversensitive, you feel like sensitivity

I know.

is a negative thing and sensitivity is a beautiful thing. Sensitivity is art, it's creativity, it's imagination, and it's love. It's all these wonderful things. And you embody that in your work and in your person, the person that you are. I know you're a human being and I'm sure you have your moments, we all do. But how you

We all do.

choose to carry yourself more of the time, is a wonderful your kids are very lucky to have a a mom like you.

And that's why I'm so happy to have you on the show and to know you because I want people to see the possibilities. you can have this wonderful relationship and you can also find that calm within yourself and the outlets. All all these amazing lessons, just I don't think you could have envisioned all the things that you were gonna bring to the table by writing this book.

Wild. It's wild. I mean, thank you for sharing all this because it is so rewarding hearing from you and others out there that are reading this book and their takeaway because that's what's so neat about books. How one person can see this in a book, another person can see something different. And we all take away our different things, and that's what's so beautiful about it. There is no right or wrong answer, it's what it means to you. And back to what you were saying too.

we never want to tell our kids, we never want to hear ourselves we're too much. You know, I want to help children understand through this book that their feelings and learning to express their feelings, that's a strength. That's a superpower. Like there's nothing wrong with feeling what you're feeling and expressing it and telling someone you need help with it, like that's a superpower asking for help. There's nothing wrong or too much about that.

Yeah, I think that's that's another book. Feelings are your super. Seriously, I

Yeah, I know right? Maybe you just gave me inspiration. Thank you.

it's certainly a t-shirt. for your collection. For your collection. what

Totally.

so I I just want to circle back real quick. Your son's reaction when to the page, your oldest son's reaction to the page, seeing the the explosive part of him, was he okay with that?

The turtle.

Yeah, yeah. So he's like, so I actually never I never said to him, This is you. I just said, you feel like that. I know when I shared this book with other kids, this often is their favorite page. I think most kids

Yeah.

can relate to this, right? Like the other

Yeah, so for people that don't see it,

the image of the boy with a turtle shell on his back and these kind of like electric bolts coming out of the head of anger, frustrating.

Yeah, yeah.

It it's a very, very active and and lively picture that I could see my kids would

Yes.

respond to it.

Yeah, exactly. So so back to your question, I never said like this is your picture, this is you, but I've always framed it in a way like you inspired me to write this story, this is like you, this character is like you, and a lot of other children who read this book, they're like these this character too. It's never that's why in this book you'll find the character doesn't have a name.

It just keeps saying like you because I wanted to make it so relatable to kids that are reading this book. This isn't so and so, this is you. It could be you. So I'm hoping that helps.

Yeah, that's a great choice.

I mean it's interesting because I never even in my second book again there is no character's name. It's again very ambiguous.

Yeah.

You so I'm hoping that helps. I mean, I haven't really asked too many people about that point,

Mm-hmm.

but I guess from just hearing that so many people resonate with the book, it is helping because they're seeing themselves or their children are seeing themselves.

in the story, in the character.

Yeah, I think it does help because it absolutely is self-reflective as you're reading. You're thinking about me and how I react and how what when I feel these feelings. I I think it's absolutely mission accomplished, you know, on that one. Yeah.

That's great. That's awesome to hear.

Can you give me just one example of an unexpected reaction you got from the from the book? A a good positive reaction that you didn't expect to get.

Hmm, wow, that's a great question. An unexpected reaction.

Well, you know, it's I'll tell you a few things. So I actually have two that really stood out with me that I would love to share. So it doesn't have to specifically do with the story, but it was when I presented the story. I did a lot of author visits.

over the past year, which was so much fun for me, getting back into the schools and sharing the book. And I went to one author visit, and there's always time at the end for the students to ask some questions or comments. This one boy, he was in fourth grade, shot his hand up and he goes, my gosh, you must be so brave. I could never read in front of all these people.

Ha ha ha.

I thought that was the cutest. I just, my gosh, I was laughing because I immediately

That's wonderful.

responded and I go, you know what? You can do anything you put your mind to because I don't know if you know how nervous I am right now. I am an

Mm.

anxious person by nature. And if you had would have ever guessed when I was a little girl that this would be something I would do to read my children's book in front of all of these children.

I mean when you used to see how nervous I was as a young girl. You know, you can do anything. It goes to show that you can overcome your challenges. You know, it's not gonna be easy, but you can work at it a little bit at a time. And if you wanna do something, you can put your mind to it and achieve your goals. Yeah.

Yeah, I love it. It's a great

it's a great final message and it's such a wonderful message and so important for everyone. Again, as we talked about, this book was written for children, but it's really all your messages are for everybody.

Yeah, it is. It really is.

How can people get your book?

So it's available on Amazon and available on Barnes and Noble online. You can also order it through any independent bookstore. It's through the Ingram Spark collection, which independent bookstores can order as well.

And you have a website?

I'm working on it. The website is not up and running at the moment soon, but you can follow me on Instagram at jessica dot an dot ellis. Also on Facebook, Jessica Ann Ellis. And like I said, my website will be up and running soon and I can notify potential readers soon of the website. Yeah.

Wonderful. And all that'll

all that information will be in the show notes too for people to to

Perfect.

access. Jessica Ann Ellis, this has been such a well, not surprisingly, a delight and a pleasure and a pure joy and a gift.

Likewise.

Yeah, knowing you, having you in my life. It's like even when I just see pictures of you on your Instagram, whatever, it just brings a smile to my face. So it's like,

No.

you know, you add to people's lives in ways that you don't know. and so thank you for all of that and for what you're doing.

Such a gift.

Thank you for sharing that with me. It's been a pleasure.

Yeah. And I look forward to your next book and we'll have you back on to talk about that and more because there's so much to talk about. There's so many themes that come off your book.

Mm.

this book

and then the next book I'm sure too. There's so much to talk about, and I just think it's really important for parents to have this reinforcement, that you're that it's okay. It's okay for them to

Absolutely.

feel this their feelings. It's okay for the kids to feel their feelings. And now it's like how do we go about dealing with those feelings when they come up, so really

Yeah, absolutely.

really well thanks again for being here and you have a wonderful day and all the best. I can't wait for the next book.

Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure.