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“Le Premiere Jour D’Amour” by Herr Wozzeck (part 2 of 2)
6th June 2023 • The Voice of Dog • Rob MacWolf and guests
00:00:00 00:36:39

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Pietro is now scared out of his mind. What is Lee going to do about it?

Today’s story is the second and final part of an abridged version of “Le Premiere Jour D’amour” by Herr Wozzeck, who is a writer and musician based in Boston. They are the author of “Whip and Boot” and “Lost Inside the Blue Line”, and the violist of Trio Menagerie. They have decided to raid their old Furry Basketball Association trove for today’s Pride month offering. You can find more of their stories on their FurAffinity page, and their SoFurry page.

Read for you by Rob MacWolf — werewolf hitchhiker.

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If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.

https://thevoice.dog/episode/le-premiere-jour-damour-by-herr-wozzeck-part-2-of-2

Transcripts

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You’re listening to Pride Month on The Voice of Dog.

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This is Rob MacWolf,

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your fellow traveler,

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and Today’s story is the second and final part of an abridged version

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of “Le Premiere Jour D’amour” by Herr Wozzeck, who is a writer and musician based in Boston.

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They are the author of “Whip and Boot”

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and “Lost Inside the Blue Line”,

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and the violist of Trio Menagerie.

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They have decided to raid their old Furry Basketball Association trove

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for today’s Pride month offering.

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You can find more of their stories

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on their FurAffinity page,

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and their SoFurry page.

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It is important to understand:

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the self-ignorance we grow up with is not naturally occuring.

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It is something we are taught,

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and shedding it, though necessary,

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can be a fearful trial.

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Last time, Pietro ran off after being kissed by Lee,

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unable to believe he had done it

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and terrified of what it could mean.

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Please enjoy “Le Premiere Jour D’amour”

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by Herr Wozzeck, Part 2

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of 2 Pietro sat huddled in his bed sheets, the avian shaking.

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He breathed in and out,

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his eyes wide. He blinked, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes.

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He had not slept well the past two days.

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He also had missed seeing Lee at the previous night’s performance:

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the rhino had simply not shown up.

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It had done very little

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to ease Pietro’s nerves, however:

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if anything, it made him more nervous.

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In the meantime, the black hawk had not left his room for any reason, except to go eat and sit in the practice room for a little time.

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Otherwise, he kept to himself.

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He exhaled, shaking his head.

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God, why couldn’t that have been a dream?

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He was knocked out of his reverie

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by a knock on the frame of his room.

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He looked out the curtain, immediately seeing the imposing frame of the rhino he’d attempted to avoid.

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He also saw Mark

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peek his head in. “Hey Petey,”

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said Mark.

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“Your friend’s here.”

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Pietro shuddered.

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“Go away,” he said. “I can’t…”

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Mark shook his head.

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“He’s worried about you,”

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he insisted. “Please, just let him talk to you.”

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Pietro looked up at Mark.

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“I… I can’t…” The grasshopper turned to the rhino.

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He then sighed, before shaking his head.

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“Just give him a chance, Petey,”

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he said. “You don’t look so well, maybe he can help.”

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Pietro sighed, closing his eyes.

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He paused, glancing at his phone and looking at the time. He only barely realized he had just missed breakfast,

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the first time he had done so since his arrival.

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He breathed in, letting out a shaky breath.

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He finally gave a curt nod.

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He heard shuffling outside the room.

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“He’s all yours, man,” he said.

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“I’ll be out in the lobby if you need anything.”

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“Thank ya,” Lee’s deep baritone rumbled.

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Pietro then opened his eyes as Lee stepped into the room.

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He pulled on a collared shirt,

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before sitting down on the bunk bed

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opposite Pietro. Pietro sighed, looking down at the floor.

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The rhino shifted his posture after a second,

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leaning forward with his forearm resting on his knee.

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“How’re ya doin’, kiddo?”

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“I don’t know,” said Pietro.

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He shook his head.

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“I just… I can’t stop thinking about what happened two nights ago…”

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“Neither can I,” said Lee.

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“I didn’t hurt ya, did I?”

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Pietro blinked, looking up at the rhino.

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“Hurt… no, that wasn’t it…”

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He huddled closer.

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“You didn’t hurt me at all.”

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“Then what’s the problem?”

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Lee asked. “I…” Pietro then shuffled, looking up at Lee.

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He then reeled back, seeing the way Lee looked at him.

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It was dejected, and his eyes glistened in sadness.

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The usually jovial arc of the rhino’s brows was gone, and Pietro noticed the way he looked at him with

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large eyes. But the thing he noticed most was how his own heart stopped

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for a second. The shock

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of seeing Lee wear such a face…

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His fear went away,

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all of it replaced with the sensation that someone had fed him a stone and it was settling in his stomach.

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Lee shook his head.

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“I was afraid I hurt ya,”

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he said softly. “With what we did… it was

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so sudden… Maybe I took it too fast…”

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He paused, glancing down.

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“And I wanted ta apologize for that.

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If I hurt ya…” Pietro swallowed, shaking his head. “No, no…”

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He shook his head.

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“I just… It’s not your fault.

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I don’t think it is.”

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He squeezed his eyes shut.

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“God, I don’t know. I just… I’ve been…” He then opened his eyes, shaking his head.

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“I’ve just been scared out of my mind,” he said.

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“It’s not normal for me to feel the way I do, is it?”

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Lee frowned. “What do you mean?”

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“It… It can’t be normal to…”

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He leaned forward, placing a hand on his heart.

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“Every time you’re near me, I just… I

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feel my heart flutter.

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I always do. And that day on the lake, when you went for a swim and I watched, and I saw your

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body there… And the way you

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talk to me, and the way you…”

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Pietro sucked in a breath,

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the terror slowly returning.

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“It’s not normal…” He paused, looking at the floor.

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“…Right?” Lee’s expression changed somewhat.

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After a second, Lee crossed the room, sitting next to Pietro on the

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bed. He draped his hand over Pietro’s shoulder.

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“What are ya talkin’ about?”

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he asked. “There ain’t

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anything wrong with feelin’ that way about me.”

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Pietro sucked in a breath.

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“But you’re a guy,” he said.

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“So?” asked Lee. Pietro sucked in another breath.

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“So… I’m not gay,” he said.

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He then paused, looking out the window.

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“At least… I’m sure I’m not.

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I think…” He threw a hand in the air.

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“I don’t know anymore.

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I’ve never felt this way towards any of the girls I dated, and then you come along,

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and… and…” He shook his head.

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“I’m scared…” And then, Pietro felt his beak get

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angled up, and he found himself looking right into Lee’s beautiful

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green eyes. The rhino paused, before looking down at Pietro.

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“And you’re not sure of that…”

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he said. “I… I don’t know,”

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said Pietro. “But if I am…

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I’m scared as hell.”

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“Don’t be,” Lee reassured him,

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petting Pietro’s arm gently.

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“Ya ain’t got anything ta be scared of,

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least of all with me.” “Then…

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Then how do you explain…?”

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asked Pietro. Lee then nodded,

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before he grabbed Pietro and pulled the younger avian into his lap.

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Despite himself, Pietro settled into the big rhino’s lap, and then he felt

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that familiar warmth.

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This time, though, he hadn’t the will or the inclination to fight the feeling.

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“I can’t explain it for ya,”

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said Lee. “But I can help ya figure it out, if ya want me to.”

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He hugged Pietro’s torso.

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“And how would you do that?”

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asked Pietro. “By… exploring it with you further,”

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said Lee. “As far as ya want to go. If ya

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feel uncomfortable, all ya gotta do is say ‘stop’,

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and we’ll forget anythin’ ever happened.”

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“But…” Pietro looked down.

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“How will I know when to say stop?”

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“When ya know, you’ll know,”

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said Lee. “You’ll feel it real strongly in yer heart.”

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Pietro paused, blinking in surprise.

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He then looked up at Lee, seeing the rhino’s caring expression. And then,

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he repeated the words Lee told him in his head.

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And then, his thoughts turned back to Las Vegas… They

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turned, too, to a hot winter’s day,

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and to a rainbow-colored basketball tattoo that he still remembered in vivid detail. It had

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been a chance conversation, just him sitting there while his brother scouted out a team. And then

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their big center came up to him,

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the shark being very friendly with him.

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But what he remembered was what it brought out about

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Andrea. What Pietro told him, what the

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big shark had told him,

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how the shark had used those same words and elaborated…

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“The only thing wrong…”

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he muttered under his breath.

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“So what do ya say, kiddo?”

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asked Lee. Pietro paused.

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The initial terror came screaming back,

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but then it was calmed as he ran Barnaby’s words through his mind again.

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He certainly felt something towards Lee, that could not be denied, but what it was…

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The black hawk swallowed.

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I suppose there is only one way to find out.

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Oh God, there’s no turning back from here…

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He nodded, his motions quick and

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difficult to see.

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Nevertheless, Lee caught it,

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and he hugged Pietro closer.

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“Good,” he whispered softly.

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“Don’t worry, I’ll be good to ya.”

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The black hawk nodded, not moving from Lee’s lap.

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“I hope so,” he said.

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“I hope so…” ----**---- Pietro stepped into the house, his eyes widening slightly at how modern everything looked. Pietro had only met Lee in town, so of course he had no reference for what conditions Lee lived in.

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He had some idea given what he had seen in the church and other buildings in the area, but in there…

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“Huh…” said Pietro, the avian stepping in and admiring the rather large living room that greeted him upon his entry.

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Lee stepped in after him,

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the rhino casting a glance in his

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direction. “Weren’t expecting that, now, were ya?”

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he asked. “I have to admit, I thought I would see something…

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I don’t know, not as fancy,”

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the black hawk replied, turning back to the rhino.

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“Well, that’s Eureka Springs in a nutshell,”

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Lee replied as he flashed a confident grin. “Cheaper than you might expect.”

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He then tilted his head towards the kitchen, which Pietro was just seeing had all the latest appliances and

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looked rather snazzy.

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“Perhaps we can talk more over some food.”

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“Yeah, I think so too,”

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said Pietro. He then flashed a smile, brushing some of his feathers back.

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“I assume you cooked something?”

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“Of course,” said Lee.

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“Ya’d have to be a moron ta waste a kitchen like this.”

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He then ran over to the oven,

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Pietro only then noticing it was on

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as the rhino pulled something out of it.

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“I hope ya like roast.”

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Pietro’s smile broadened. “Oh,

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roast sounds pleasant to me,” he said. “I just hope it’s good

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roast…” The rhino smiled,

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placing the roast on the kitchen counter as Pietro took a seat there.

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“I reckon ye’ll like it,” Lee replied. “Now, dig in, kiddo.” Pietro nodded as Lee handed him a plate. He looked at the roast, watching as Lee grabbed a fork

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and carved the roast.

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Pietro salivated, looking at the roast as he carved it. The rhino then transferred it, Pietro looking it over as the plate was garnished and handed to him almost immediately.

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And from the scent of the food before him…

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Pietro wasted no time digging in.

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And indeed, Pietro was not disappointed. “Hm…”

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He swallowed the beakful of food he had.

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“That’s actually really nice.”

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Lee smiled. “It’s my mother’s recipe,”

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he said fondly. “She taught it to me when I was a young child.” Pietro smiled. “She must be proud that you took her skills so well,” he said.

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“Well…” Lee glanced to the side, his smile losing some of its mirth.

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Pietro’s blood ran cold

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as Lee’s eyes shined a little more sadly.

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“She was, at some point.”

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Pietro glanced to the side.

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“I… I see…” she said. “You’ve never

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talked about your family

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much…” “My family wanted nothin’ ta do with me when they found out

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I was one o’ them…

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faggots.” The word was rushed,

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perhaps with a little side of anger in it. “Ya’d think that they’d still love me after livin’ with me for so long, but they were all about that

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‘lust and devil’ stuff.”

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Pietro nodded, sighing softly.

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He found his hand tensing once again, and before he knew it, he had reached across the table to grasp Lee’s hand.

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“I’m sorry,” he said.

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“I should have remembered not all

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people share such close relations to their families.”

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Lee shrugged. “It’s alright, kiddo,”

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he replied, slapping his free hand on Pietro’s shoulder.

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“I’ve at least got everything else I need ta remember ‘em by.”

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He shrugged as Pietro released the rhino’s hand.

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The rhino then carved a piece of the roast for himself,

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setting it on his plate as

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he sat down next to Pietro.

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The avian nodded, doubt causing his heart to race a little faster than usual.

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He coughed after a few seconds, before looking at Lee.

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“Sorry, we should be happy about this, shouldn’t we? Let’s

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save the morose conversation for later.”

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Lee chuckled as he started eating his roast.

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“Sure thing, ya little wordsmith,”

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he replied. And so, they said nothing as they ate the roast. ----**---- As soon as the roast was finished, Lee had led Pietro over into a somewhat expansive living room.

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There was of course a couch and a coffee table there, as well as a glass door that led out onto a balcony. Pietro briefly glanced outside the glass doors into the sky around.

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He then turned to Lee as he went over to a CD player in the nearby wall unit. “You’re

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putting on some music?”

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Pietro asked. “Music to be danced to, kiddo,”

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he said, right as he closed the cover of the CD player.

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“Hope ya like smooth jazz.” And with this, he pressed play. Immediately, Pietro heard

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the sound of a saxophone playing a sweet melody.

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A piano joined in after a few seconds, laying down chords as Lee stood up,

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regarding Pietro with a nod and holding his hand out.

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Pietro hesitated for a second or two,

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his hand right at his chest.

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There he was, looking at him with a kind expression.

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Pietro felt a chill run up his spine as he stood there indecisively.

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He opened his beak, and then

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swallowed, his mouth feeling a little dry.

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And then, with a gulp,

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Pietro gingerly placed his hand within Lee’s,

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the rhino’s smile growing broad again.

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Very gently, Lee pulled Pietro towards him, until Pietro torso came into contact with Lee’s.

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Lee gave Pietro a smile, before gently placing one of his hands

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right on Pietro’s hips. The hybrid took in an uncertain breath as

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he placed one hand on Lee’s muscular chest,

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and before long they were swaying slowly to the music.

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They remained this way for a few minutes.

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As that time passed, Lee looked down at Pietro.

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“Hm… Ya know, for someone who claimed to hate jazz…” said Lee. “Eh,

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I think it must be the saxophone,”

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said Pietro. “I’ve always liked its sound, even if it

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isn’t featured much in

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classical music.” “I’ll bet,”

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Lee replied. “Some people are strange about what they like ta hear.” “Yeah,

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that sounds about right,”

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said Pietro with a quiet chuckle.

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He then closed his eyes, letting the silence pass as he grew more accustomed to his surroundings.

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The jazz played on,

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the two of them swaying to it.

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Lee’s hands remained where they were,

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giving Pietro the space necessary

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to adjust. “Hm… You know,

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I’ve never really danced with anyone before,”

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said Pietro. “No?” asked Lee.

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“Yeah,” he said. “Well, not anything slow, anyhow.”

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Lee chuckled. “I’ve seen some salsa get danced,

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kiddo,” he said. “I’ve seen how lightning-fast it is.” “Haha,

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that’s Venezuelan,

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thank you,” Pietro replied.

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“Cuban salsa is different.”

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He shook his head.

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“But no, that’s not what I was talking about.

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I’m talking more about…

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well, the dances I have done were either all

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waltzes or polkas.”

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“No minuets?” asked Lee.

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“I’m sure Bach had a few minuets written for that solo cello somewhere!”

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Pietro paused, before chuckling.

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“Point taken,” He replied.

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“I forgot about those.”

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“Well, there ya go, Kiddo,” he said. Pietro shrugged. “I guess so,”

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he said. “Either way… Yeah.

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I’m not too used to slow dancing like this.”

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He frowned. “Actually, I’ve never danced like this with any of my exes.”

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“Not the romantic type, were you?”

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Lee asked. The black hawk frowned, his beak creasing slightly.

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“I guess not,” he said.

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“You think a dance is romantic?”

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“There’s nothing more romantic in the world,” Lee replied. Pietro shrugged.

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“I’ll take your word for it,”

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he said. The saxophone track ended, and then Lee slowed down

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as the next track began with a beautiful flute solo.

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As soon as a harp glissando sounded, though, Lee slowed the pace of his dancing down, Pietro right along with him.

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The black hawk let out a laugh as soon as he recognized the track.

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“Of course,” he said. “Of course you would embed your smooth jazz

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with Prelude à l’après-midi d’une faun,” he replied.

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Lee chuckled. “Ya know it,”

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he replied. “I don’t mind a little Debussy now an’ then, ya know?”

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Pietro nodded, smiling.

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“I guess so,” he replied.

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“I know it was turned into a ballet by Nijinsky, but I don’t think this was what he had in mind.”

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“Maybe, maybe not,” Lee replied.

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“Either way, it’s kinda nice for that.

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Smooth, playful…” “…Seductive…”

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Pietro replied. “Yeah, somethin’ like that,” Lee replied. “And it’s

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good music, too.”

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“That it is,” Pietro replied.

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The two of them spent another minute in silence,

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before Lee pulled Pietro closer still.

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“Are ya comfy like this?” Pietro blinked, only then realizing how close he was to Lee.

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However, he also noticed a distinct warmth that radiated from the rhino, one that

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seemed to seep

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into his being. He was surprised that this was the only thing he noticed,

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but his surprise melted into a realization of just how comforting that warmth

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was. And then, Pietro realized just how… good

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it felt, to be this close to another

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man. Pietro looked up at Lee, a light smile on his beak.

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“I… I am…” he said. The two of them stopped their gentle swaying to the music,

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Lee dropping his hold on Pietro’s hand.

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That hand immediately settled on Pietro’s hips,

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pulling Pietro into a hug.

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The black hawk felt his face flush slightly as the large hands settled behind the small of his back,

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but otherwise, he offered no resistance.

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“And this…?” Lee asked.

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Pietro waited a few seconds, during which he noticed that the warmth

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was only amplified.

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As he realized this, he sighed contentedly.

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“Also fine…” he said.

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Here, Pietro expected Lee to smirk

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triumphantly. Instead Pietro watched as the rhino’s expression morphed to one of the most loving

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expressions he had ever seen anyone give him.

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Lee then placed one of his hands on Pietro’s cheek,

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gently caressing the flesh there.

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Pietro closed his eyes,

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bowing his head into Lee’s hand.

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After a second or two, Pietro’s corresponding hand

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traced a line across Lee’s arm,

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Pietro gently grabbing a hold of Lee’s hand.

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And instead of tearing the hand away from his cheek, Pietro pressed it further to his cheek,

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savoring the feel of the rhino’s hand and how

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different it felt

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against his feathers.

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“I see…” Lee said, leaning forward.

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Pietro felt a pair of lips press into his forehead.

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“Did anyone ever tell ya that ye’re beautiful, kiddo?”

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“Maybe,” Pietro replied,

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looking up at Lee.

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“Not like this, though…” And then, Lee and Pietro looked each other in the eyes, Pietro’s other hand settling on Lee’s chest.

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They stared at each other,

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the Debussy swelling to a cadence in A-Flat Major in the background.

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As it began to modulate, however,

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Pietro and Lee found themselves leaning closer.

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Pietro did not know who began the kiss first. It did not matter in the end:

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as soon as Pietro closed his eyes, he felt the older rhino press his lips against the beak,

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Pietro instinctively

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opening his beak and granting the rhino entrance.

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When they broke the kiss, Pietro and Lee looked at each other, Lee still maintaining that tender look he had the whole time.

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After a few seconds,

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Pietro’s hand moved over to Lee’s shirt,

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looking at it with some

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hesitation. Lee placed his hand on Pietro’s,

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before leaning forward to give

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Pietro a kiss on the forehead.

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“Pietro,” Lee whispered.

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It was with a blink that the black hawk realized it was the first time Lee had used his name,

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the realization nearly stopping his heart.

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“I’m only gonna ask ya this once:

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are ya sure you want this?”

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Pietro swallowed.

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“Now? Now, I’m sure.”

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Lee nodded, before leaning forward and

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kissing Pietro’s forehead.

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“Don’t be afraid ta tell me if somethin’ hurts ya,”

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he said, his voice soft

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and warm. “It ain’t gonna be good if one of us is in pain, you know?”

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Pietro nodded. “Thank you,”

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he said quietly. Lee only offered a smile to Pietro.

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And with this, the avian undid

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the first button

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of the rhino’s shirt. ----**----

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When Pietro woke up, he was aware of the sun streaming through the window. It was bright outside,

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the curtains not doing much to dampen the light.

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He stirred a little,

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aware he was not in the Compound.

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He blearily blinked, and yet as he moved to sit up in the bed, he found himself refreshed.

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And then, he looked to the bed.

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There, he found Lee’s sleeping form,

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the bedsheets tangled all around his midsection.

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The rhino’s chest rose and fell,

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the small tuft of hair in the center leaping out at Pietro.

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Pietro sighed, smiling.

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He then looked over the edge of the bed, seeing his underwear there.

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Slowly, he stepped out, pulling his underwear on.

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He faintly noticed that the bedside clock

:

04 AM, before he took one last glance at Lee and

:

stepped out of the bedroom.

:

Walking over to the balcony, he gently opened the sliding glass door,

:

stepping outside into

:

the warm July sun.

:

He felt his heart flutter as he took in the view around him. It was beautiful, of course:

:

the broad vistas of the Ozarks swept around him,

:

and in the distance he could just make out Beaver Lake.

:

There was not a cloud in the sky,

:

allowing the sun to shine freely as he

:

noticed one or two boats moving around in the water of the lake.

:

He closed his eyes, taking the sounds in:

:

the songbirds chirping in the trees, the sounds of feral squirrels

:

flitting about on the ground below…

:

It was one of the loveliest mornings he had ever seen.

:

But all that paled in comparison to the euphoria Pietro felt when he remembered

:

the previous night’s events.

:

He remembered the initial dance, and then the way they carried it into the bedroom.

:

Pietro placed a hand on his heart,

:

remembering the point when they had both lost their clothes to each other’s exploring hands.

:

And as he thought about this, his mind returned to the sensations,

:

the kisses, the way his hand travelled down Lee’s torso, the way he felt in the bed

:

under the powerful rhino…

:

He breathed in the crisp mountain air. And as he did,

:

he smiled more broadly than he had in a long

:

time. It was then that he heard the soft

:

footsteps on the balcony behind him.

:

He felt the warmth of Lee’s gut press against his back, and Pietro melted against that warmth

:

as the rhino’s arm wrapped across his stomach to pull him close.

:

The avian was only able to reply with a contented sigh,

:

his own hand gently resting on the rhino’s. “Mornin’,

:

Pie,” said Lee.

:

Pietro rose an eyebrow, turning to look at the rhino.

:

“Pie?” he asked. “You know it’s technically pronounced ‘pee’,

:

right?” Lee only smiled.

:

“It’s affectionate, Pie,”

:

he said. “You’re like a nice apple pie.”

:

Pietro chuckled. “You might have to make that a key lime pie,”

:

he said. “Us Cubans are renowned for our spunk, you know.”

:

Lee simply pulled Pietro closer.

:

“Perhaps,” he said. “But right now…”

:

Pietro nodded, his smile not fading any as he placed a hand on Lee’s neck.

:

They stood in silence, their attention turning to the lake below them.

:

“So… How are ya feelin’?”

:

Lee asked. Pietro’s smile only seemed to grow brighter.

:

“I… I don’t know if there’s a word that quite

:

describes how I feel,”

:

he said, his words almost lost to the breeze.

:

“I can think of so many, but there isn’t one that really nails it…”

:

Lee leaned closer,

:

planting a kiss on the avian’s head.

:

“I hope ya mean that in the best way,”

:

he said. Pietro chuckled quietly.

:

“I do,” he admitted.

:

Lee smiled, pulling himself down and kissing Pietro on the cheek.

:

“Glad ta hear it,” he said.

:

He then rubbed Pietro’s belly a little, the avian closing his eyes and reveling in the feeling of another hand,

:

Lee’s hand, rubbing him in such an affectionate way.

:

“So…” Pietro sighed, his smile not fading any.

:

“I guess your gaydar was right, after all,”

:

he said. His smile fell.

:

“I’m just… I’m still a little scared.”

:

“We all get scared, Pie,”

:

Lee said. Pietro nodded.

:

“Does the uncertainty ever go away?”

:

he asked. “Eventually,” Lee replied.

:

“Sometimes it’ll go away in a day,

:

other times it will take decades to go away.”

:

He then looked down at Pietro.

:

“I’m only gonna ask ya this:

:

would ya do last night the same way

:

if ya had a chance to redo it?”

:

Pietro paused, feeling Lee’s warmth again.

:

He soaked in the way he felt right there, and through the previous night,

:

grabbing memories of every single sensation. And then,

:

he opened his eyes, and took in the view,

:

the weight of Lee’s arms around him,

:

the power behind them,

:

the warmth of the July breeze combined

:

with the rhino’s arms…

:

His smile returned as he sank back against Lee.

:

“I… I think I would,”

:

he said. Lee smiled,

:

before his free hand directed Pietro’s beak up to his muzzle.

:

The avian opened his beak, sharing a kiss with the rhino.

:

When Lee broke it, they said nothing,

:

only looking back out to the lake.

:

----**---- July 8, 2015

:

Friedrich, I have a confession I need to make.

:

You remember Andrea? You know,

:

the Doberman I talked about back when I first bought you?

:

The one I had just broken up with?

:

I didn’t tell you the whole story. And you’re the first to know the whole thing.

:

I’m pretty sure

:

there is only one other being on the planet who knows something about this, but he’s busy in Vegas or

:

Hawaii or Australia or

:

wherever he is now. I’ll get to that.

:

Anyway… We had sex the one time. Andrea and I, I mean.

:

But for some reason, she thought my performance was

:

lackluster. And then we tried it again,

:

same result. And then we

:

drifted apart during dates. I’d wanted to do it again, but she kept saying no.

:

Finally, she turned on me and asked me whether I had any fur and wasn’t admitting it.

:

And then, she blew up in my face about how her father would never condone her being a beard, and how I was being a liar.

:

I didn’t know what she was talking about.

:

And then, she called me a

:

‘closet-case faggot’,

:

before telling me that she refused to be a beard for a delusional jerk who was so in denial about his own feelings he acted like they didn’t exist.

:

And then she told me that she’d never speak to me again, and stuff.

:

At the time, I thought she had lost her mind.

:

But after that night with Lee…

:

I had sex with Lee on the fifth. I… I’m sorry if I’ve been quiet,

:

but, my God, Friedrich. I thought the sex with my ex-girlfriends had felt good: man, what the hell was I thinking? Sex with Lee hurt at first, sure,

:

but as we got into it… My

:

God, it was like heaven.

:

He was gentle as he usually is,

:

and he went slowly… And the way his hands explored my body, and the way his

:

tongue felt, and the way

:

I felt as he… Andrea was right. I was delusional.

:

You remember when I talked to you about

:

Barnaby Jazz? Well,

:

he put some things into perspective,

:

mainly because I told him about the whole

:

‘closet-case faggot’

:

issue. And I told him that even back then, I was worried if Andrea was right. I wasn’t doubting my sexuality then, though in hindsight I guess I should’ve seen it coming from how I looked at Barnaby. Anyway,

:

he told me that everyone finds out differently.

:

He knew about his own sexuality immediately,

:

and he said sometimes people don’t know

:

immediately. That’s why I finally said yes to Lee.

:

Right as I was about to say no,

:

Barnaby’s words came into mind. And, well…

:

there I was, with a man who was

:

willing to go at my own pace.

:

And there I was, questioning everything I ever knew.

:

So I accepted, thinking ‘hey,

:

maybe Barbie’s got a point there’.

:

I thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life.

:

Having done it now,

:

though, I would never take it back

:

for anything. Nothing that felt that good could possibly be a mistake.

:

And I guess that leads me to my confession, Friedrich. Here goes.

:

I, Pietro Antonio Atti-Morales,

:

am the adopted son of a Cuban black hawk

:

and a common kestrel from

:

Italy. I’m an avian,

:

I play the cello, I like opera,

:

and I have two older siblings.

:

And I, Pietro, am a gay

:

man. God, it feels so weird writing that.

:

But as I think back to Lee, I know it’s gotta be true. I’m into men. I can’t deny it any longer.

:

This is who I am.

:

And man, how did it take me this long to realize it?

:

I’ve seen Lee again and again since then. And we’ve only grown closer. His age doesn’t matter, and neither does the fact that he’s a rhino. He understands me, and I understand him.

:

Who could ask for anything more?

:

Well, I guess I’m done talking your ear off. I’ll talk to you again.

:

I’m going back to Lee’s place tonight.

:

I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what we do there.

:

I’ll see you later.

:

-Pietro This was the second and final part of “Le Premiere Jour D’amour” by Herr Wozzeck, read for you by Rob MacWolf, werewolf hitchhiker.

:

As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

:

or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

:

Happy Pride, and Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog.

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