Shownotes
On the podcast Mind Over Matter, hosted by Archita, Jennifer White shares her deeply human journey of surviving brain tumor surgery, waking from a coma, and learning to walk, speak, and rebuild herself again.
This episode is for anyone navigating burnout, grief, identity shifts, or invisible struggles. Jennifer opens up about resilience, self-care, healing through writing, and why starting over can sometimes become the beginning of a more meaningful life.
About the Guest:
Jennifer White is a retired registered nurse, brain tumor surgery survivor, and author. After waking from a coma in 2024, she began writing as part of her recovery journey, leading her to create medical thrillers and children’s books.
Episode Chapters:
- 00:00 – Waking Up From a Coma
- 04:18 – The Quiet Truth About Resilience
- 09:10 – Relearning Life One Step at a Time
- 15:02 – Invisible Recovery and Emotional Exhaustion
- 20:11 – Writing as a Healing Tool
- 26:08 – Reinvention After Trauma
- 31:24 – Why Hope and Purpose Matter
Key Takeaways:
- Healing often happens through small daily actions, not dramatic breakthroughs
- Self-care and rest are essential parts of recovery
- Writing and creativity can help rebuild confidence and identity
- Recovery becomes easier when you stop chasing the old version of yourself
- Vision, purpose, and patience help create a path forward
How to Connect With the Guest:
Jennifer’s website: Jenny White Canada
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Transcripts
00:00:08 Archita: Welcome to Mind Over Matter, the show where we look honestly at what we are really capable of when we stop fighting ourselves and start working with ourselves instead. I am art, and today I am in conversation with Jenny White. Jenny is a retired R.N. and a brain tumor surgery survivor. In January twenty twenty four, she woke up from a coma and had to relearn how to walk, how to think, and how to speak. As part of her recovery, she started writing, but slowly began bringing memories back and led her to reinvent herself entirely. She is now an author of medical thrillers and children's books. She still lives with challenges most people can see, like depression, word finding, difficulties, exhaustion. And today, she is here to share what the inside of that journey actually looks like. The architecture of getting back up. So, Jenny, thank you for being here. Welcome to Mind Over Matter.
00:01:10 Jennifer White: Thanks so much for having me.
00:01:13 Archita: Thank you for being here. And, uh, Jenny, I can already tell how important this conversation is going to be for a lot of our listeners. But before we start, there is a gentle disclaimer. Some statements reflect personal belief and experiences and are represented as individual views, not medical advice. So listeners should consult qualified professionals for medical conditions.
00:01:39 Archita: And now that we have this out of the way without wasting any more time, let's dive into the conversation. But before we go into the bigger story, I want to start somewhere small and honest. So when you look back at the very first day after the coma, when you started realizing what was ahead of you was a single moment from that day that stayed with you till now.
00:02:09 Jennifer White: Probably the most profound thing that I found was that the man standing at the end of my bed was my husband, but I didn't know who he was. The nurse in me knew that he was in street clothes, and he wasn't in scrubs like everybody else, and I knew that if he was standing in the in the ICU next to my bed, he was someone important to me, but I had no idea who he was.
00:02:39 Archita: Yeah, I can only imagine how, um, you know, difficult that situation must have been for you. That kind of cluelessness, um, it must, must have been really difficult to start, uh, from that day onwards, a new kind of journey or to restart your life altogether. But I, I'm really glad that you navigated through that journey and you're here now sharing, um, you know, all that experience with us today. Uh, so Jenny, moving on. Uh, you know, there is a popular idea that resilience is loud, dramatic, um, the gritty montage of someone fighting their way back, but the kind of resilience you have lived sounds much quieter than that from your own experience. What's the biggest misconception people carry about what real resilience actually looks like?
00:03:40 Jennifer White: That's a good question. Um, resilience is kind of hard to describe. It's it's in, in my case, it was really survival. It was figuring out how am I going to go forward. Um, when I realized I tried talking and people couldn't understand me because it was just sounds coming out or when I, you know, tried walking for the first time after surgery. Um, I was having trouble. It was, it was a struggle. I needed people to hold me up. I had to actually consciously think about putting one foot in front of the other and how that all works. It was it was definitely challenging. You know, resilience is really doing small things every day. It's, it's figuring out what you want in life and how you're going to overcome some of the challenges that you have now as a nurse. You know, I'd spent over thirty years helping people and people are at various places at various times. And for me, I actually didn't expect to be quite so limited when I woke up. I knew bad things could happen. I knew that I could even possibly die during the surgery, but the reality was, was difficult. So I woke up and not only did I not recognize my husband, but I was tied to the bed. And the reason that I was tied to the bed was because I kept the myth alive that nurses make the worst patients. Um, I was trying to, um, remove all of the medical paraphernalia around me and rip my dressings off and all those kinds of things. So the only way they could really stop me was to restrain me. And that was a new experience. I'd never been restrained in a bed before, but again, it was one of those things I kind of consciously knew that something was wrong. I knew how to fix it, which was to stop fighting, and they took the restraints off. As for my husband at the end of the bed, uh, he was as shocked as I was that we, you know, that I had changed, that I didn't know who he was. So over time, we had to rebuild our marriage.
00:06:14 Archita: Wow. Um, thank you for sharing that part of your life with us today. Jenny, I think it's really important for our listeners to know, this much about resilience because like you said, I think resilience is taking it gently one time, um, you know, one day at a time. Um, because resilience is also consistency, and you are the prime example of that, honestly. The level of patience that you had, patience and the courage to get back the life that was yours. That is commendable, and I think we can all learn that from you. And, you know, we have been taught to picture resilience as a fight. But for a lot of people, real resilience looks like quietly putting one foot down, then the next on a day nobody's watching. So I'm really glad you shared that. Um, Jenny, and now let's stay with that for a moment. Um, there's a difference between pushing through and actually being okay from the inside of recovery when you've had to relearn walking, talking, thinking, what did you start to learn about that difference and how to tell the two apart?
00:07:32 Jennifer White: Well, you know, that's interesting. I never expected to actually have those challenges. So when they confronted me, I remember thinking very clearly, well, I've got to figure out a way to get through this. And I obviously had some wonderful therapists who helped me rebuild my speech patterns. Um, they helped me in my physiotherapy, helped me to walk. And slowly over time, I just had to keep trying. I think one of the, um, the most frustrating things is when all of a sudden you can't do what you used to do. Um, you know, walking and talking are two perfect examples of that. And so you have to be open to help. You have to be open to trying different strategies. You have to just, you know, persevere, as you said, and just keep going. Now, one of the things that I did do was, um, I started to dream again. I gave myself permission because I, I knew I couldn't go back. I knew there was only one way and that was forward. And since I'd lost a lot of memories and because I wasn't really sure how things were going to pan out, I gave myself permission to dream like I was five years old again. And I remember thinking to myself and talking to spirit or the universe, basically, because I did ask, you know what? What was up with this? What? What are you trying to tell me? And, um, the message I got was you've got a clean slate. Try again. So when you think about it, our brains are kind of like a computer system. And I kind of got rebooted as they maneuvered my brain around as they had to remove the tumor. Um, brains really don't like to be touched. So there was a bit of, of swelling and um, some challenges as they move my brain around. I knew as a nurse that it was going to take time to recover because brain surgery is not like a one day thing where you go home at the end of the day. I was in hospital for a while and I just remember dreaming about, okay, if I could have anything as a brand new start, having experienced what I've experienced over the last, you know, sixty plus years, what would I want? And I just started dreaming. So I would suggest to people who are having a challenge, ah, you know, faced with, uh, disabilities or temporary circumstances that are really slowing them down, I strongly recommend going back to the child and using your imagination to come up with things that are so outside of the box that you've never done before and just give it a go. So what I did was by dreaming, I came up with some things. And one of the things that, um, I've, you know, I thought about was, well, maybe I should write my story down. And my speech therapist had also suggested that I start, you know, jotting down some words to see if I could express myself in writing versus speaking as we were working on that. And what I found was by jotting down words, I started to rewire my brain and the brain pathways started creating stories. And I remember lying in my bed looking at the ceiling and thinking, okay, if I were five again, what would I want to be when I grow up? And I just started playing with ideas. And then I thought, okay, would that bring me joy? Does it align with my values? Would it be a way I could help other people? And that's how I kind of came to the conclusion that, yeah, let me try writing. And that's where the medical and thrillers came in, as well as the children's books. As I just started creating stories in my brain, that number one amused me and kept me occupied, but also, um, became a way for me to express myself.
00:12:05 Archita: That that goes right to the heart of it. Um, pushing through gets us through the morning. Being okay is a much longer and much quieter project, and almost nobody is honest about how different those two are until they have lived inside both. And honestly, Jenny, I'm really glad that you find, uh, you found writing, um, at that time. And it became your solace. It became your escape and it helped you along the way because a lot of people don't find that, but I'm really glad you did. And now I want to bring this into the everyday life. Uh, you've said there are challenges. People can see the depression, the word finding, the exhaustion. So from a psychological standpoint, walk me through what it's actually like to live with invisible aftermath, the part of recovery that doesn't show up on any scan.
00:13:10 Jennifer White: Yeah. You're right. And that's a big piece of it. so what it's like, well, what I discovered was, you know, I've been preaching as a nurse to my, to my clients and my patients for years that they really needed to be self aware of how they were feeling and to take self-care. And that can mean a range of things for different people. For me, rest was important. Um, for example, I'll probably have a nap after this podcast just because I know that I'm going to be very tired afterwards and it's not a tired that really is relieved by sleeping. It's more just a realignment. And what I do when I, when I rest is I meditate. I find that helps a lot. I just clear my mind and I consider all the things that I'm grateful for. One of the things that I discovered in my journey was that, you know, your body is just a shell. It's just a physical thing. Um, we're really spiritual beings having a human experience, which means that when your body or the shell sort of requires care or rejuvenation. Rejuvenation or new pathways in your brain. Whatever it is, you have to allow your body to rest. But having said that, emotionally, it can be very challenging because you realize, gosh, I used to be able to work a twelve hour day without blinking an eye. And now if I can get through an hour podcast, I'm, you know, I'm doing really well. So self-care is in looking after yourself is really key in, uh, in dealing with some of the challenges when I have my days, when I have difficulty with finding words and I'm actually struggling just a little bit today. Um, it's frustrating because, you know, you look normal, you, you feel tired, but you're struggling, but people can't really see that. And so you try and Smile and keep going.
00:15:33 Archita: Yeah, that's such an important truth. you know, the the hardest part of recovery isn't always the work. The world can see. It's the work nobody else even knows you are doing. And that work, the invisible kind, is often where the real architecture of resilience gets built. And that's the most important part. But, you know, you've just said that. Yeah. Yeah. And Jenny, you've just said that, uh, writing has clearly been a turning point in your story, both bringing memories back and giving you a path into reinvention. So from a mind over matter perspective, what was happening psychologically in those early writing sessions? And what would you say to someone listening who's looking for their own version of that doorway right now?
00:16:27 Jennifer White: Great question. So when I first started, it was a bit of a disaster, I have to admit. So when I first started writing things, I could, you know, some days I could get down a couple of words, some days I could get down a sentence and some days I could get down a paragraph. But it took a lot of time. So patience was, was one thing that I highly recommend is, you know, don't have the expectation that you're going to turn a light switch on and it's going to be an immediate, um, refresh. It doesn't work that way, especially with something like brain surgery where, you know, the, the brain is who you are. It's your, your, um, your personality, it's your likes and dislikes. It's your learning center, it's your computing center. And when, um, you know, the brain has to be manipulated, it's, it's going to swell and it's going to cause side effects and you have to accept that that's going to happen. But one thing that I want to make clear is that a lot of these things are temporary. They're what I would call circumstances. And all circumstances are are pretty much temporary. One of the things that I, I realized when I was nursing is that there's a huge mind body connection. And I have seen over the years people who had disabilities and challenges and gave up. And when they gave up, they lost their hope. They lost their passion and will to continue. And they usually decline very fast. There was another group of people who had a very strong will, a strong spiritual connection, and the belief that they could overcome, and many of them did. And I applied that same thought to my own recovery. I acknowledged, you know, that I was a spiritual being, having a human experience and that there was someone greater than me, be it the universe, be it spirit, be it God who was looking after me and guiding me. And so one of the things that I did was when I figured out what it was that I wanted to try, I started creating a list, a literal list where I took pen and paper, and I wrote down all of the things that I needed to do in order to get to my destination. And so one doesn't just wake up one day and say, okay, I need to write a book. Um, I knew I didn't know how to write a book. So I, I went online and I started searching for help on how to write a book, and I found some highly recommended classes. And I took those classes so that that was a step that I took. And every day I would work around my fatigue and the days that I was having a bad day. And through self-paced courses, I was able to learn what I needed to learn to give me structure. Then I started getting connected to the right people, meaning people in the publishing industry, sort of the rules and the game of, of, of working with them and all of the pieces that had to go into that. So what I would recommend if people are trying to reinvent themselves is to think of what you want, make it very, very clear, create a vision for yourself. Some people create a vision board where they put somewhere that they can see it every day. I did that, um. be grateful that you're alive and that you have the capacity to do anything that you want so much. Um, so much of our life is, is determined by what society says, regardless of where we're living in the world. Some people say, you know, you, you go through school, you get a profession, you find a soul mate, you get married, you have children, you buy a house, you buy a car, all of those things. Well, question the status quo. I don't think that's accurate. I don't think that's the way it should be. I think what you should focus on is passion. What you would love to do, how you would love to see it be an outcome. Does it bring you joy? Does it align with your value system? Is it a way that you can help other people? I think those are sort of the the key questions you need to ask yourself and then build a strategy around that.
00:21:32 Archita: That's that's so beautiful. Um, the smallest practices, when done with honesty, often do what the big resolutions never can. They quietly become the bridge from oneself to the next. And I loved how grounded and practical all of the advice that you gave, because you're not asking the listeners to change everything overnight. Um, you're just asking them to take that first step and take it one day at a time, which I think is the most important step. So Jenny, I'm really glad, uh, you know, for all the wisdom that you have brought into this conversation, all the meaningful insights. So thank you so much for today. And I believe this conversation has turned out to be so helpful for a lot of Um, listeners today who might be feeling stuck in a phase of their life or who may want to return back to their original self. So I'm, thank you so much for this amazing conversation. And if there's one thing that I can take out from this is that resilience isn't loud. It isn't a fight scene. It's a quiet, daily decision to keep meeting your own life, even when it looks nothing like the one you thought you were going to live. That decision, repeated long enough, is how a person rebuilds not just their body, but their whole sense of who they are. So, Jenny, this has been such a moving, grounding conversation for our listeners who want to follow your journey, read your medical thrillers or pick up your children's books. Where's the best place for them to find you?
00:23:14 Jennifer White: I do have a website, w w w dot Jenny dot CA because I'm out of Canada and my medical thriller, The Triggering Scent, is available now on on about forty different platforms. So thanks very much for having me today. I really enjoyed the chat.
00:23:37 Archita: Thank you for sharing that, Jenny. And we will make sure to put everything in the show notes. So it's just one click away and our listeners can reach out to you whenever they want. And mind over matter is built on one study, belief that the most powerful thing inside us is often the part we underestimate the most. So here's something to carry with you from today. Coming back doesn't always mean returning. Sometimes it means rebuilding and a body that's changed and a mind that's been rerouted in a life you didn't sign up for. And the version of you that does that rebuilding slowly, quietly, day after day, is the strongest version you have ever been. Thank you for being here. I'll see you in the next conversation.
