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Date Night Vs. Connection Time: The Ultimate Showdown
Episode 13rd November 2023 • Our Marriage Rocks • LeBrian and Shennice Cleckley
00:00:00 00:21:43

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In this episode of "Our Marriage Rocks," hosts Shennice and LeBrian discuss the concept of "Date Night Vs Connection Time." They begin by sharing their unconventional first-date experiences and ponder the differences between dating and courting. Shennice suggests rebranding date nights for married couples as "connection time," emphasizing the importance of nurturing the connection within a marriage. The hosts take a moment to express what they appreciate about each other, highlighting the evolution of their relationship over their 16 years of marriage. LeBrian admires Shennice's spontaneity, while Shennice values his unwavering love and dedication to their family. They also extend appreciation to single listeners and provide a sneak peek of the next episode, which will explore the topic of secrets in marriage. The episode wraps up with a call to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast across various platforms.

Transcripts

Date Night Vs Connection Time

Shennice: [:

rumps. We're going to be talking about dating and dating in marriage and actually, um, just dating in general. So there is, uh, Meme or a list that went out about where not to take your spouse or your 1st date people. We're not going 1st date and they're

LeBrian: not spouses. Yeah, they're just 1st date. You need somebody.

You're interested and you say, Hey, let's go on a date. You go and pick her up and you take her to, and there's a list of places of not to take her to.

Shennice: Right. And [:

Um, personality and things, but it's all kinds of things like that, but I don't subscribe to that. What do you think?

LeBrian: Well, the first place on the list was a cheesecake factory and i'm i'm from the south I grew up in a itty bitty town and we didn't have a cheesecake factory And

Shennice: so that's a big thing, right?

LeBrian: That was a big thing the first time I went to a cheesecake factory and they gave you that the menu just got like 66 pages That was a lot for me and I, I could probably understand why I wouldn't want to go to the cheesecake factory because it just takes too long to decide what you want

Shennice: to eat. But you did bring up a good point though.

u're going to it and there's [:

LeBrian: To be fair, I can understand why you, why you, for the same reason. Why you might not go to the cheesecake factory because it is a huge menu and you have to try to be conscious of the person you're trying to get to know.

Funny story. I took a girl out on our first date and we went to the Olive Garden. And while I was very familiar with the Olive Garden, she was

Shennice: not. That's probably why you didn't marry her. I

LeBrian: don't know if that's why I didn't

Shennice: prove your point because you took it to the Olive Garden, but no, no, but okay.

the house for several weeks [:

So our first date was Walmart, right?

LeBrian: Some of y'all didn't think I would remember that I

Shennice: did. And funny is my oldest daughter, who was 17 at the time, drove me to Walmart to meet. My now husband and I wanted to go to Walmart. I needed to go someplace. And so therefore our first date quote unquote was Walmart, but

LeBrian: and she went, she tagged along.

She didn't drop her off and come back. She went with us on the date. Shanice was in the little, the little car, the cart before we were embarrassed and I'm almost walking around long calling me daddy. No, not my mom. I mean, she needs his daughter. Was walking around telling everybody I was her daddy and

Shennice: this is the first date.

So that's

LeBrian: how you got somebody thinks that might be funny. I still don't think it's all that.

Shennice: Why not? [:

LeBrian: Well, she claimed me in front of everybody. I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to embarrass the

Shennice: young lady. But nevertheless, you her daddy, are you not? She better be, she better be what she

LeBrian: better be.

So much. She

Shennice: ate up all my food or whatever. So we had the very untraditional first date and it suited us and where we were and what was happening because I needed to go out. So. The first date doesn't necessarily deem what's going to happen in a relationship, but when I, I was interested though, in date night.

LeBrian: Okay, I was going to say on the flip side, I have taken people to Applebee's on the 1st date and it never ended well. But that may have just been that particular

bringing up old people Okay, [:

So I looked up because you know, I like facts and definition Why are you laughing? Why is that? Why is that funny?

LeBrian: I, I agree with you so much that it caused me to laugh. Why you laugh for

Shennice: real? What did your research find? I wanted to see what the definition of dating was and what someone um, what, what What Wikipedia or anybody else?

Like, you know, Mr. Google, my scientific research. Yeah. Which is looking up in Google. So it says dating is a stage of a romantic relationship in which two individuals engage in an activity together. Most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in future intimate relationship.

What? [:

LeBrian: I didn't know dating was all that,

Shennice: but that's it. But think about it when you are going out with your. Um, significant other in the beginning, you do want to see what they're like, and that's the only time you really have activity is when you're going out on a date. So, if you're doing date night with your spouse, doesn't that kind of change?

What dating is where you're not gauging what they're going to be like, as a suitable partner, you're actually using it more for connection. And intimacy,

LeBrian: I, I guess, I don't know that I'm still caught up on that whole definition because it was a whole paragraph because in my mind, I was thinking dating and I was associating it with courting.

ng and this is just me. Yes, [:

Shennice: to each other.

According to again, my

LeBrian: science Courtney courting was before, you know, I'm apparently I'm about to be scientifically.

Shennice: Yeah, your scientific research. Google scientific research says that courtship is more serious and traditional than dating. It involves getting to know your partner with the expectation of marriage as the end goal.

, we're going to be married. [:

LeBrian: Well, then I think people need to be very careful about how they use the word dating then, especially people that have an intention of a desire to be married.

I don't think people always say you dating to marry. And I think the answer is no, no, if you're dating, you're not looking to get married. Obviously, if you're looking to get married, you want to be courting or you want to be courted.

Shennice: So we need to bring that term back

LeBrian: court. Yeah. Courtship needs to be brought

Shennice: back.

Or we could do it like in the country. They say y'all coat. No,

LeBrian: we're not going to do that because I'm very much beyond the country. I was born there, but I, you just said

Shennice: you was from the court. And that's why you brought the person.

LeBrian: I'll eat liver pudding, but only at my house,

Shennice: which is country. And it's outside

LeBrian: the house, but nobody's any of my friends who are in our country would not see me never pudding.

Let me share that. And establish that with you

Shennice: people. Why don't be shame. I'm not saying you are

LeBrian: shame. We're talking about courting

ice: and dating. Okay. Well, [:

So that was a whole nother sit. No, you told me I was going to be your woman, two different things. And that was 30 minutes after we had a conversation. We were on the phone. We were talking. I had not even seen you and you say, you know what miss Pruitt my mate name You're gonna be my woman and I said if I'm gonna be your woman Then I need to know what you look like So then you turned around and you sent me this picture of you from your flip phone That

LeBrian: had no we're gonna be sharing everybody's personal business I would have brought a different

Shennice: mindset, whatever.

put my computer next to the [:

And I looked at you and I said, Stephanie Frank? Yeah, Stephanie Frank. Really? That's where that picture was from. Oh, that's

lovely.

LeBrian: Yes, so. She looked like Jane Kennedy. It wasn't

Shennice: really her. Anyway, so then, she, he said, I said, Oh, you cute. Jane Kennedy. From the 70s. And you said, Oh, you cute too. And that's how we got started with that on the phone.

And that was, and so you really didn't court me. That's when you, that's when you said you want to be my woman. You

LeBrian: said yes,

Shennice: but we didn't really, after you didn't call me for two days,

LeBrian: it took you a second to figure out what you

ack. You were supposed to be [:

And you didn't. And then you said, Oh, let me tell you. I don't have such a great memory, but I promise that I would never forget to call you back again.

LeBrian: If there are any Ginkgo Biloba products that need a spokesperson or an influencer, you know, I'm available. You can hit us at all of our socials. We'll listen at the end of the podcast.

Shennice: Because you remember what you want to remember because now 17 years later, well, 16 years on November the third, which is our day today. Um, but. 16 years and 17 years of dating. Bam. You have not forgotten to call me back.

LeBrian: Now you tell me don't call you so much. I don't say that.

Shennice: Ask our therapist. We'll get into that in another podcast.

to this courting and social [:

So what could that be?

LeBrian: It could be connection night.

Shennice: I like that connection

LeBrian: night. I don't think we need to dress it up or call or anything else. It's an opportunity to just, just to connect because, because honestly, I think sometimes being married and. Having children and having older parents that you have to take care of and having jobs and podcasts and whatever else it's easy.

, I don't know if it's easy, [:

Shennice: circumstances, and again, we're oversharing.

LeBrian: Um,

the point I'm making is no matter what the reason or the rationale was behind you getting married, Without a connection, you won't stay married, at least not happily married. That's

purpose of you to make sure [:

LeBrian: right?

We, we have a very unusual schedule,

Shennice: but we do take. At least an hour or two within the week to just be me and you and we do nothing but talk about each other until the 10 year old comes into bed or whatever else. But we have a time.

LeBrian: That's another good point too. Uh, I think sometimes we get caught up on, on what, what to call it or how to frame it.

atever it's going to be that [:

Shennice: other. So I think calling it to connection night or connection time takes the stress away of date night.

It takes the stress away of we don't have money to go out. To the list, to Applebee's, if you use it as connection time, it may be that time you're laying in the bed together, or eating a good charcuterie, or holding hands, or taking a walk, or whatever that may be, and that is Quote unquote connection.

LeBrian: And bonus points.

We hit our bougie word for the day. Charcuterie

e. So charcuterie. Or Chiche?[:

No. Okay,

LeBrian: great. This is what it sounds like when I'm nodding my head at my wife. . Crickets. This is what it sounds like when I'm rolling my eyes. .

Shennice: Keep on rolling your eyes. You go get you go. You go. You love me. You love me. You brought up a point though you said that you, there was something that you liked about that person you were dating.

What do you like about me now we're 16 years in. Today is we're 16 years. So what did you like about me then that you still like about me now or that you like about me now more? Don't look at me that way. She thinks

LeBrian: she's putting me on the spot.

Shennice: I don't. I'm asking a true question. You brought it up.

from one minute to the next. [:

Shennice: spontaneity. Okay.

LeBrian: Yes. Your spontaneity is refreshing. You're effervescent.

You're saying

Shennice: it in a very, um.

LeBrian: Your spontaneity is refreshing. Your effervescence is, is delightful.

Shennice: Bougie word, epiphysance. I'm winning. You, you're, you're winning. No, are you serious? You like my spontaneity? I just told you that I did. But you said it in a sarcastic way. What

LeBrian: did, and what else did I say? I don't know because you got hooked up on how I said it.

Yes. Listen to the

Shennice: word. No, you say it the way that my love language is physical, which has also to do with voice. So say it in a way that I

LeBrian: understand. No, it's not. Yes, they are. Yes, they're not

rapist on. Okay. So tell me, [:

LeBrian: I just told you, I don't know what you're going to do from next to that.

And I love that about you. Oh, You never know what she's going to bring home or who she's going to bring home. Usually they're delightful. Sometimes they're delicious, but they're always different. It's always

Shennice: something. I bring something. Well, that's wonderful. Do you know, you want to know what I think about you?

I'm scared. Okay. But then I won't tell you.

LeBrian: Don't worry about it. I imagine you should in the spirit for the spirit of the show.

Shennice: No, I won't tell you if you don't want to know. Everybody

LeBrian: else wants to know. So you might as well tell me.

Shennice: Okay, fine. I like the way that you love on the children. I have loved that before.

u had Kirsten and Jared. And [:

LeBrian: You're just like my dog.

Shennice: That too. You are oversharing now. I gotcha. I gotcha. Finally. You will find that he is more stoic than I. So then what is it? I'm quiet. You're far from quiet,

LeBrian: very quiet

Shennice: and reserved anyway. So. I think we've resolved what we're going to do for date night. So married couples, partners, though, well, actually this is specifically for married couples.

ame. So if you're dating and [:

LeBrian: Real quick for my non married people or single people.

We love you. We do. We don't discriminate. We don't look down on you. I'm not going to try to find you somebody to get you married, but the name of the show is Our Marriage Rocks.

Shennice: So we're giving tips and tricks and trules of how to have great Relationships and marriage,

LeBrian: shout out, big love to my single folks, single, single, single life.

arriage rocks on YouTube and [:

LeBrian: week.

Hey, wait, here's a sneak peek. For our next podcast, we're going to be talking about secrets. Should you have them or should you not in your marriage?

Shennice: Dun, dun, dun. Okay. You liked that, didn't you? See you guys next time.