The hosts dive into a humorous and critical discussion about the horror sequel "Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice," highlighting its lack of genuine scares and overall poor execution. They reflect on their childhood memories of the film, contrasting how their perceptions of horror have changed over time. The conversation touches on the film's absurd moments, such as unrealistic death scenes and the questionable logic behind character actions, which leads to plenty of laughs. They also explore the film's use of Native American elements in its storyline, questioning the appropriateness of such themes in a movie that fails to deliver on its horror promises. Ultimately, the consensus is that the movie is not only unscary but also a missed opportunity, leaving the hosts vowing to steer clear of any future "Children of the Corn" films.

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I was cracking up at how accurate Red Bear is to, like, an actual old Native American grandpa where just, like, imparting wisdom about living in balance and then being that.

So that's what happened to Gatlin.

It's like, no.

The white kids just went ape crazy.

Best line in this whole movie, dude.

Welcome to the what's Already podcast.

We fashion ourselves cinematic joke and Jerry.

My name is JJ Crowder.

I'm here with my co hosts, MansonHeiner.

Better red than Dead and Alec Burgess.

Let's get it.

We appreciate you tuning in.

Go and hit that Follow subscribe like bell notification buttons.

Tell a friend about us.

Tell a family member about us.

Tell a creepy kid about us.

Or don't.

I'm okay with creepy kids not knowing about me.

That's fine.

No, you should definitely tell a creepy kid about us and then have them go and, like, make videos messages to Alec, because that'd be hilarious.

I'll save that joke for later.

Yeah.

So we're on the final week of Halloween.

Happy Halloween to everyone, by the way.

Coming up here in the next couple of days.

We're on the final week of the month.

So we've skipped past the not so scary scary movies, and we're supposed to enter into a scary movie.

I don't remember this movie, apparently.

I think.

I think I was remembering a different version of this movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, same thing.

Because I think it fit the theme of scary.

Not scary, not scary scary.

Anyway, we're finishing up with Children of the Corn two, the Final Sacrifice.

I didn't even know it had a subtitle in it.

So I.

I really think.

I was thinking a different movie.

You know, it wasn't a great horror movie because it released in January.

It was direct, written by Al Katz, Gilbert Adler, Stephen King.

I didn't know that.

Well, I guess I should rephrase.

It was based on stories.

One of his short stories was directed by David Price.

Stars Terence Knox, Paul Schur, Ryan Boman, Christy Clark, Rosalyn Allen, Ned Romero, Ed Grady, John Benz, and Joe Insco.

It.

It's about a journalist and his son who traveled to Nebraska to investigate the mysterious town of Gatlin, where, unbeknownst to them, a murderous cult of children are still waiting in the cornfields.

I think it's a misnomer, though, because they weren't going to Gatlin.

They stopped on the way to Gatlin in a different town altogether.

Gatlin's where the original one took place.

So.

Yeah.

Children of the Corn to the final sacrifice.

I.

Look, Matson, what the hell are you thinking?

You got a lot to answer for.

Hey, I saw this movie when I was in third grade fair.

So, I mean, I have.

I haven't seen it since I had a sixth grader friend that I remember being in the house and it was on TV and we watched because I would.

I.

I know I've seen bits and pieces of other ones, but I knew this is the one that I saw because of the.

I wasn't sure if this one had the house scene.

It did.

And so when I was in third grade, like, I don't know.

I mean, things are a lot different when you're.

I was.

I was nine years old, so a lot different.

I thought this movie would have been because I'd seen the first one.

I recently rewatched that one a year ago, and I knew that had, like, the 80s vibe.

I was like, oh, this is kind of like the slasher thriller.

Like, not scary, kind of comical in a sense, from what I remember.

Number two, I was like, they're gonna up the ante.

They certainly did that in terms of, like, how people died, but, like, the actual scaring.

There's, like, essentially none of the.

There was the only part of this movie when the bed and breakfast lady, like, goes back into her room and is like, saying, like, hey, is anyone here?

Then, like, do like.

They do, like, their version of a jump scare.

I was like, oh.

Like, I went like, I didn't get to it, but I was like, oh, sure.

That was the only thing.

Because other than that, everything was.

Wasn't that.

It was.

You knew it was happening.

It was gruesome, but it wasn't particularly scary.

Like, they open the blinds and there's kids there.

But other than that, like, I was a little disappointed, just honestly speaking, because when I remember about this movie, like, I remember when that house was dropped on that lady.

That was terrifying to me when I was nine, I was like, dude, what.

Why?

Why do these kids do that?

And then the dead pan staring definitely got me more when I was nine than what it.

Than it got me now, like.

And then I think the last thing I'll just say off the top of my head, didn't know Korn could be so murderous.

And split glass and the things that slit throats and my goodness.

Yeah.

Just wasn't a good movie.

I mean, I didn't.

I never expected.

I knew it was going to be a bad movie because it was a sequel, but I thought it was going to be a little bit, like, make me feel more creepy and eerie.

I didn't really do that.

It's kind of lame.

Yeah.

I don't know what movie I thought we were getting into.

And so maybe that one was creepy.

I just remember, like the Children of the Corn being creepy.

Or maybe I'm remembering remembering reading the.

The short story, the book and going.

It could be some of the later ones they made like nine or eight or something.

There's a ton of them.

Yeah.

I don't know that they ever got any better, though.

Like, I.

I know that.

I certainly hope they did.

I know that Eva Mendez was in one.

Like, I think like number four or number five, something like that.

She was in one of them.

I know Alec was happy that it wasn't really scary.

He was like, okay.

Well, actually I was more just disappointed because I got myself all worked up all month.

Absolutely nothing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I will say though, like, to your point, Matt.

So with the dropping of the house on the lady, I was more scared about the wizard of Oz references that were made because that movie is scary to me.

And hearing the what a world as she's being crushed and then the legs made me think of wizard of Oz for most of the rest of the movie.

And then I scared myself.

But I was bored watching this for the entire time.

Sure.

A better version of this movie, at least for me now, having seen it.

Like the Jeepers Creepers movies, like the type.

Similar type of premise.

Like, ish.

Far better.

I wouldn't like.

They're not like, terribly scary, but I think it would be much more gruesome for you, Alec, and make you.

Because, like, the story here was.

It was confusing because I knew I was like, wait, is this a sequel prequel?

It was like the way they started.

I was like, is this a continuation of the first one?

But obviously there was different actors, so I was like, wait, my head's in a tizzy right now.

I think it, like, it just felt so jumbled at the beginning.

And then I got my bearings straight, but then, like, there just wasn't much there.

I do remember being nine, though.

The chick that played.

What Christina, was it the girl?

The.

I.

I know I liked her.

That.

I definitely remember that too.

Oh, yeah.

She was easy on the eyes.

I remember that sure.

Easy on the eyes.

Okay.

Grandpa.

From Nebraska.

Somebody sounded older than me right there.

I like it.

Yeah.

Jeepers Creepers is interesting.

I.

I have a hard time.

I didn't watch any of them after the first one because Salva, the creator, was a convicted pedophile, so I had a hard time.

I didn't ever need it supporting any of the movies he did after the first one.

I like the first after I found out.

No, I.

The first one was creepy as that's.

What we should watch because that will make Alec feel a little.

Some type of way.

We gotta wait a year now.

October's done.

Oh, darn.

I'm sure.

I'm sure Charles can figure some out.

I had to watch this movie by myself while Tay was sleeping, while I was in Hawai.

Why?

And as we started, like, oh, I'm fine.

I'm more than fine.

Yeah, Well, I started getting into it, and I was like that.

It really, like you said, I wait five seconds in, I'm like, this isn't what I thought it was.

And then when the corn went through the windshield, like, I was like, nope, Been around corn my whole life.

It won't do that.

I don't care how hard you throw that.

It's not going through the windshield like that.

It was just like, wow.

And then I was out of the movie, and then everything just got.

I was viewing things from the lens, and I could see where as a child, maybe I'd have been a little creeped out by certain aspects of it, but I was also a up child when it came to, like, horror movies and stuff.

So I think this one I would have just made fun of mostly like I did.

But viewing it from the lens of an adult, like, the death by a thousand syringes before he gets stabbed with an actual night.

Like, I'm standing there going, what?

Start hitting these.

Like, what are you doing?

Like, I realized that needles don't feel great, and I don't love needles.

Like, I have an issue with needles, but you start poking me with them one half the time he's getting poked in his sternum, like, his.

Up his torso.

Anybody's ever had to give themselves shots.

Like, they don't hurt that much.

Like, you're like, oh, that stung when it first went in.

But I'm gonna start swatting children of the corn real quick.

We'll see how many times they want to keep stabbing me with a freaking syringe.

Or the fact that, like, no one comments on these, like, eight children just standing there ominously like at all locations.

Like, ah, we're cool with it.

Like, it's fine.

This is what our children do.

Like Nebraska kids are weird as.

Dude.

Yeah.

And how did they figure out how to like insta hack a wheelchair?

Like that thing was driving a remote control car and then all of a sudden starts driving the low lady Granny got boosted, man.

Pretty sure that wasn't real in the 90s, like you couldn't do like that.

Or the fact that the, that she was sitting there long enough in the road that.

I'm sorry, that dump truck or whatever.

Like you didn't, you didn't see her like coming down the road.

She was just sitting there for like 10.

I don't know.

It was just all so funny.

Well, and why did she fly in at a.

In a straight 90 degree angle into the window?

Like that road was running parallel to the building where they're playing bingo.

I don't know.

I don't know.

And then she was like a whole ass person when she got there too.

Like that truck was big enough.

She'd have been like pulp.

The chair would have hit the.

Maybe hit the window in mangled mess.

But everything was intact, including the weird old lady dummy that fell through the glass.

There's all that.

But then you guys know me.

Like I, I'm the type of person if you're gonna show like a sex scene or something like that, it needs to be like purposeful and one, this is like the lamest scene ever.

Two, I don't even know.

Like, it's like they decided, hey, we need to show some, some stuff to like, to make this more interesting because why did those two, they barely even knew each other.

And like there was just felt so random.

I was like, why am I even watching this right now?

It didn't even like it didn't fit.

To me because it was an 80s and 90s.

I know.

Like you had to like put that to sex scene.

Have to have it.

The only thing you're missing in this was the gratuitous tit shot.

Like that's the only thing you were missing.

And.

And I, I think anything that's named children of something, you can't put that in there.

And without at least thinking it through.

So that's probably the only reason we didn't get.

My problem with the sex scene was like, look, sex is sweaty, but Jesus.

It looked like they car waxed this before he started.

The perfect droplets of water that were.

I was like, this is weird.

I.

It's like that's not I.

I'd be like, get the off me, lady.

Like, they're sweating and then there's, like that.

But all I'm saying is, in my contract, if I was an actor, like, I'd be like, I'm out.

I ain't doing that stuff.

I just.

I don't know how people weird.

And I hope you have another bed, because I'm not sleeping there.

Like, yeah, I'm out of sweat.

That if you sleep in a puddle at that point, like, going over to the other bedroom, that's in this bed and breakfast.

I'm not staying in that bed.

Jesus.

Like, I was just so disturbed by how wet they were.

Well, there's that.

Another random thing that made me laugh is when they were doing, like, the, like, the blood sacrifice on the hand with that, like, machete or whatever, but down, like, of like.

Like he did.

He just went like that.

That's not the sound.

Like, he didn't even.

The.

The sound effects with this just made me chuckle, too.

I'm not letting him swing on me like that either, because they'd be missing fingers.

Like, he just perfectly slices right down the.

I was like, I'm pretty sure he sliced through the hand.

Like, it's gone.

That.

Why do you need that big of a knife?

Why do you need Jason's machete?

Like.

Always take a big knife.

You never want to be caught in a knife fight with a small knife, jj.

Yeah, but you're not knife fighting.

You're fucking.

You never know what's gonna happen with he who lives behind the roses, he.

Who walks behind the rose.

I will say I.

I love that phrase.

I was like, we'll get behind that.

It's cool.

I liked it the first time.

It was like the 93rd time they said it that I was like, okay, we get it.

But then, like, the whole mound thing that's moving.

You're like, what monster are we dealing with?

And then the particle thing taking over.

What was his name?

Mordecai.

I can't remember his name.

Mordecai.

Or somebody else.

Like, the weird.

He had a normal name.

Yeah, it was like Matthew or something.

Or something.

But, like, that CGI scene, dude.

Like, I don't know, Micah, what was that?

It was taking over his cells or something fun.

Like, why.

That was trippy.

Yeah.

And then it exploded into probably the most uncomfortable death scene of him getting, like, shredded by the corn, freaking the combine.

And I'm, like, spitting him out.

How that works.

But sure, tell us how that works, jj.

Because I.

I don't know, the combines.

The combines aren't that.

That's not a hay feeder.

Like the corn combines that are like that, they.

The idea is to separate, right?

So it leaves mulch on the ground and it takes the corn and the corn cobs and pulls them like they're.

It separates.

It doesn't mulch.

It's not.

It doesn't.

And there's some residual.

But when you see them, like if you ever see one run in a cornfield, like it looks like bees flying around the.

Because all the.

First of all, people running through corn in movies, that's a joke.

If you ever walked in an actual cornfield.

Yeah, that shit's horrifying.

It's you.

There's not enough room.

It's not like you have all this spacious room to run like you're hitting corn the whole way.

You go through the leaves of corn hurt like a.

They'll slice your ass up like as good as any knife.

And then on top of that, the amount of bugs and spiders and that's in cornfields.

I'm out.

You couldn't pay me enough to run through a cornfield.

Like one time I walked through a cornfield and it was not a.

A cornfield is an incorrect.

This is like my neighbor's like giant ass backyard.

That half of the yard was corn.

But.

And you have to get it tight because corn is a self pollinating.

So you have to have as much as you can possibly get so that it pollinates.

So you actually grow a ton of corn.

So it's like super tight inside of a cornfield.

It's not this we see in movies where you got 8 inches on either side of you and you're like, oh, I might get hit with a corn leaf on a cake.

No, that shit's nasty.

And it grows for months and months and months and so like, yeah, you get all sorts of nasty in there.

I'm out.

I'm out.

Not happening.

But yeah, corn, when you see it, like shit's flying around the combine everywhere.

That's why they're enclosed cabs.

Because the shit's everywhere.

And you.

There's not like this spout spitting out like, hey, you're looking at hay.

And that's what that does.

Corn.

It's a separator, basically more than it is anything else.

Anyway, there's your education on corn.

Why are they called a combine?

If it separates that?

That's gonna mess with my.

Yeah, Jay, tell us or forever.

I don't know.

I just grew up in the Midwest around a Lot of corn that steel.

I only know that because like I told you, like I, I have family that farms and like I.

It's been around them.

They're big, ugly, nasty machines.

But never been around one that big.

Those are huge.

But yeah, I just laughed.

That's more in the middle of a.

Corn field at night time.

Like when it's really dark.

Like that could be scary.

I could see that.

Yeah.

I mean corn mazes are kind of creepy and fun because you don't actually go in the corn.

You go through the part that's been chopped around and made into a past.

But like it, it's corn going into corn is more claustrophobic than anything else and gross.

Like it, you feel the cobweb, the like spider webs and the bugs.

It's.

It's uncomfortable.

I could see how if it was a mass, like those massive farm corn fields you run in and you're like trying to run from something, you could definitely get disoriented.

And then corn can go really tall.

Don't know where you are.

Oh yeah, it's not fun.

Like I said, we used, I used to cope family like do like the smaller cornfields and a neighbor who had like said half his backyard was corn, but you chop the stocks down and pull the, the ears of corn off.

Like you don't walk through the middle and start plucking because it's not like they regrow.

You know what I mean?

Like you don't pluck a corn cobbler and then wait three months or another month and there's another corn cob.

That's.

That's not how that works either.

Like you get what you get out of a stock and then you move on.

And so it's when it comes harvest time, you go through and you chop the whole thing down, take all your corn.

That's why cornfields are there.

And then the next day they're not.

Yeah, because they just go through and.

And prank any of your neighbor friends with like a crop circle or crop sign or anything.

I don't know.

We'd have got murdered.

It's.

It's so much like that's ruined so much crop.

Like maybe so pissed we should have a cow tipped.

It's another beauty of living in the Midwest.

Doesn't kill them.

Like everybody, they.

They just kind of go boom.

It's not as fun as you might think.

And you usually end up with cow all over you.

And imagine it's a lot harder than one expects as well, right?

No, no, it's really not.

Like, because mostly what happens, they do sleep stand.

Like, sometimes they'll sleep standing up or they'll just.

So if you can get it.

Most times you're scaring them, and then, yeah, you hit them.

And then, like, they just kind of.

And it.

They just.

What JJ is saying is cows are dumb.

Cows are very dumb.

Cows are very dumb.

Most stock animals like that are kind of dumb.

Except pigs.

Pigs are ridiculously smart.

Like, I had a friend that had a pig farm, and one of the most disturbing things in my entire life, and I'm not going to tell this on the podcast, if you guys want to hear about it, I can talk about it afterwards or when Charles can hear all about it, or the Patreon, go check it out.

But I helped slaughter a series of pigs.

Most disturbing thing I've ever seen, done been part of in my life.

And pigs know, like, you build a corral when you slaughter these animals, and they.

As soon as they set up the corral, those pigs are like, you can go yourself.

I'm not going in there.

Like, they had to be forced into the corral because they knew what was coming.

And cows, they were just like, we'll go whatever the pigs like.

Off.

It's not.

And then I'm telling you, that was the most.

One of the most awful things.

What I'm hearing is if there's a horror movie with pigs.

There you go.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, that was the most.

I.

I will never forget that for the rest of my life.

Like, and I've helped other animals, but the pig, that was.

That was horrifying.

Horrifying.

So, yeah, changed my view on a lot of things.

Poor little Wilbur.

I'll still eat bacon, though.

I ain't scared.

But I did swear off bacon for a couple weeks after that.

I was like, a couple of weeks?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm no.

I'm no activist.

I have no problem with it.

Like, I understand that the necessity and the need for bacon.

I love bacon and ham.

I'm okay with ham.

But I couldn't look at.

You know, we have bacon in the fridge.

And I was like, no, I'm good.

I.

That was rough.

Then I got over it.

Pulled pork, baby.

I'll take some pulled pork.

Anyway, I.

This is.

This is how bad this movie was.

More interesting to talk about.

Other.

But, like, I think that was the most hard part for me was, like, watching it in the lens of an adult going, what the fuck is happening?

Like, it.

None of it made sense.

And then on top of the fact that I.

I'd never thought about it before until I was watching this today, and I was like, why is it always an indigenous burial ground or some sort of indigenous ceremony?

Like, what was with the 80s, 70s, 80s and 90s, that it always had to go back to the native culture?

Stephen King.

That's what.

That's fair.

Which is ironic because, I mean, I guess they had.

They were.

Because I think they have all the stories and the legends and all that, that it's easy to call upon.

That doesn't make it right or the thing.

But they just have all those short.

And they were there.

They predated the white people that's stole their land and everything.

I don't know, I just think it's always that it doesn't.

Like common beard.

Yeah, there you go.

Sure.

But like every movie around that time period, 100, that's.

That's what they.

I was cracking up at how accurate Red Bear is to like an actual old Native American grandpa.

We're just like imparting wisdom about living in balance and then being that.

So that's what happened to Gatlin's.

Like, no, the white kids just went ape crazy.

Best line in this whole movie, dude.

I.

I did complete, like, balance kind of spiel.

Like, no, they just went apeshit.

Yeah, I did like that guy.

So we said that I was not expect.

I was like.

I was not expecting him to be real like that.

But he's totally right, Alex.

Not wrong.

I knew a lot of those in Arizona.

Yeah, it's so funny.

Funny.

Big, like super in depth, kind of feel good moment.

And then they just follow it up.

The punchline.

Yeah, philosophize on your ass.

Like, seriously.

I remember one time we were up in.

In.

In Flagstaff area on one of the.

On the res up there, and we were talking.

I was talking to some.

One of these old boys was up there just chatting away with us, talking about, you know, the white man this and the white man that and, like getting all serious and.

And I was like, well, this is an interesting conversation.

Like, I was into it, right?

And then he's like, yeah, but you guys know how to make some alcohol?

And I was like, what?

I was like, that came out.

We were just like 20 minutes of being lectured and, like making me feel bad about my whiteness.

And then all of a sudden he's like, yeah, you can make some booze, though.

I was like, jesus.

Oh, it was great, man.

It was great.

Yeah, that was fun.

But yeah, I laughed my ass off at that.

Yeah, no, they just went ape.

Like they used some because like it's.

The whole discovery process, right?

Of like, oh, there's something deeper or something deeper here.

And Nope.

Yeah.

No, no.

What was the other one?

It was another line.

He's like, just like a white man.

Like in.

And I lost it, but I can't remember what the line was.

I was telling myself to remember it, but I like the whole sequence, just him in school.

Always, always take, never give.

Or something like that.

Yeah, something like that.

I was laughing my ass off.

Always think everything belongs to you.

Yeah.

Boy, did they do that dirty too.

Like, seriously, like, wow.

I mean, it was.

It did not pay to be racially diverse in this movie.

Black dude gets it right out the gate, crawling through the corn.

Like, what the.

Why would you push him out of the toe to get out of the van?

Well, yeah, why would you get out of the van?

That was my question.

And then you immediately steal this dude's seat.

Like you get back.

Back where he was after he's toasted the fight.

So black dude gets whacked right out the gate and then we need the.

The native dude to tell us what's going on.

And then he eats it with an arrow to the belly from some white Amish kid.

Come on now, that's rough.

And then they get him out of the truck just for him to die.

And then.

Oh, you just get a.

Have a burial.

Like a burning ceremony in the middle of this corn.

Like, you ain't tell anybody.

You're just gonna burn this dude.

Burn Red Bear, he had.

He had some.

Some dope Darth Vader funeral type shiz right there though.

That was about it.

You gotta get licenses.

And for that you can't just burn.

Not Nebraska.

Jj, do whatever the you want in Nebraska.

This is middle of P.O.

dunk Nebraska, dude.

Nobody cares.

Ah, you know, we're doing a controlled leaf burn.

Red bear's part of it.

We don't do two.

Two birds, one stone.

What are you surprised about?

You're.

They're.

We're talking about they.

Yeah, a whole town got massacred and they just were like, yeah, we're fine.

These children, they're fine.

Let's go five miles down the road.

They'll be fine.

Let's have them live in our houses.

No big deal.

Like it's okay.

And I mean, to be fair, pretty much everybody else in the town according to this movie was in that church that burnt, so.

Which how one little 5 gallon Gant can of gas makes it run through the air conditioning vent like that.

I was like, wait, what?

And if there was that much gas that looked like a waterfall coming through the vent, that place blows up in two seconds flat.

Like, it's not.

It took a while to get going, but fornication.

Oh, hey, that combine blew up, like, Hollywood style.

For sure, though.

That thing was like a nuclear bomb.

Oh, yeah.

I also kind of enjoyed the.

You know, what was the cause behind everything?

Oh, yeah.

Essentially just moldy ass corn.

Yeah.

Like, as soon as that happened, I really was like, oh, yeah, you.

You showed the monster kind of a thing.

Like, now it's you.

You made it real, so to speak, instead of having this more or less supernatural element.

But I got a kick out of the reporter guy, George, or whoever it was.

Yeah.

Like, straight up touching the toxic waste that later burns a hole in his pants because he wiped it off, but his fingers are just fine.

Yeah.

The shock and awe when he's like this burnt right through my pants.

You didn't feel that eating away your skin on your fingers?

Like, did you go have a hand wash session?

We didn't get to see what's funny about all that.

I actually liked that they had a backstory to explain, like, what was happening to the corn and maybe, like, why the supernatural element was kind of there.

But obviously it fell flat in its face.

But I thought, because I like the scenes that Red Bear was in with the reporter.

Like, I was like, they got, like, they had a little thing going and then that put the cop shows up.

I was like, all right, we're back to, like, 80s, early 90s.

Just, like, debauchery.

Like, what is happening right now?

But I.

I like their little, like, investigative, like, stuff they were doing.

It was just.

That was really.

Everything else was just terrible.

Not scary.

But I like the both of them.

I think I'd have been okay with the corrupted corn if they hadn't had the weird demon face and crawly thing.

The end, too.

Like, you can't have it both ways.

Like, you can't explain the Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs kids by corn.

And then have the dude being obsessed, like, possessed by some ironic demon that makes his eyeballs turn.

Like his pupils turn all the way.

His eyeball.

And then, like, you can't have it both ways.

Like, it's either a demon or it's the corn.

It can't be both.

Yeah, but then they don't get to have their Native American ritual and tribal history passed down on a rock.

Well, that was the other part, too.

I'm like, nobody's gonna just, like, nobody's studying this rock or anything.

It's.

I mean, it's not even like it's on the reservation or something.

Like, it's just in some dude's backyard.

Like, the.

And it didn't look like it been, you know, painted or carved very well.

Like, yeah, it's gonna last the generations.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would have been washed out after just a little bit.

Like.

Yeah, that's why they do it in caves.

So disrespectful.

Like, look, I have no skin in the game, obviously, ir.

You know, pun intended, but God damn.

Like, that was bad.

Like, I was like, if this wasn't so bad.

And I'm sure, like, it's offensive to some, but to others, like, I'm sure it's like, this is so bad.

I can't help but just laugh.

You know what I mean?

Because, like, I was like, jesus, like, this is.

It's not even.

It's so bad to me.

It's not.

I can't.

How would I.

How does that look on me?

By being offended by that, right?

Like, I'm like, I take that.

That serious.

We're trouble.

But I was like.

But it did raise the question.

I was like, man, I never, like.

And I'm a horror guy.

And I started thinking about it.

That's how I got distracted.

I was like, man, how many of these movies have to do with burial grounds and spirits?

And they're mad and they built on this.

So they built on that.

And I'm like, wow, we're pretty awful when it comes to that.

Like, you got Russians as action villains.

You got.

Excuse me.

You got Middle Easterns for a time where the.

You know, the Middle Eastern area.

And it was.

Was the villains for a while.

We came back to Russians depending on the time frame.

You got Germans here at home, though.

Damn burial grounds.

Doesn't.

Doesn't pay at all.

Jesus.

Did OC Watch this with you?

Kinda.

She was falling asleep, which is another sign she loves.

She loves horror.

And she was just.

I was just curious if she was sitting there watching Red Bear going, what the.

No.

Because she knows that if she does.

And that just gives me ammo later to be like, hey, can you take me to one of your rocks where you have your ancient corn rituals?

It's a good thing she loves you.

Yeah.

Oh, easy.

Because I'm terrible.

I'm a terrible person.

Oh, me too.

Me too.

Yeah, I.

Yeah, we're done.

All right.

All right, redhead.

It's your Turn, buddy.

Giving it a one for nostalgia.

That's it.

Terrible movie.

Not scary.

Premise is interesting, but not executed well.

We'll never watch this again.

I don't think I'll ever watch any of the Children of the Corns again.

Because like Jay just said, they're probably all of this, like, sad and random and depressing and state.

So, yeah, I'll let you all down.

My nine.

Nine year old Matson let us down.

Man of the people right here, guys.

Man of the people.

Look, I know when the fall on my sword, or should I say on my stalk of corn, that would split my face in half.

And I let you all down today.

Dude, there are a lot of these movies.

Yeah, I just decided I was gonna look and there's a lot.

There's a lot, a lot.

And the fifth one had some people in it, like Alexis Arquette, Eva Mendez, Greg Vaughn, Fred Williamson.

Why couldn't you pick that one?

Madsen, David Carradine.

Jesus.

Wow.

We might have to watch that one next year.

How'd they get people to be in that anyway?

I guess it's a paycheck when you're a kid, right?

I'll go.

This movie was terrible.

Like, so bad that, like, seriously, I was like, get it going.

I thought this.

I.

This.

I even texted Alec.

I was like, this had to be a different movie.

I was thinking about something different because I thought it was creepy.

Like, I.

You know, when we were talking about it, I kept.

It was previous episodes this month.

I'm like, poor Alex.

Got to deal with creepy later.

Wrong.

This.

This was funny.

This was goofy.

Like, I was more creeped out by Ernest Scared stupid than I was this movie.

Like, not to mention the effects were way better.

Yeah.

But yeah, it was bad.

I'll give you this, a 0.5.

I'll never.

I.

Yeah, I'll never watch a Children of the Core movie again just because I'm like, I.

It might be that one I.

Or @ on the same level, because they usually only get worse the further ahead you go.

He was bad.

It was really, though.

I laughed.

I think I laughed a lot at how bad it was.

Like, seriously, like old ladies flying through windows at a 90 degree angle.

Like, I laughed my ass off.

But yeah, not scary.

Not a good movie.

But I appreciate it.

It was funny.

It's a good way to end a weird Halloween month.

So there you go.

All right, Alec, your turn.

So while I was watching this, I fully expected to hop on the podcast today and be like, yeah, sorry, guys, I watched the wrong movie wasn't gonna say anything because then you would make me write the watch the right one if I, you know, was watching the wrong movie.

But I wasn't scared at all.

Except for when I scared myself with the wizard of Oz references, because that's immediately I started just like, ah, great, here we go.

Yeah, it's gonna be a 0.5 for me too.

I'm like, no desire to really watch this ever again.

Never had any plans to watch any of the Children of Corn movies.

So I'm glad this is the one I watched because I can always go back to.

Nah, man, I saw this one.

It sucks, so I'm not even gonna bother.

But, yeah, 0.5 for me.

Will not watch again.

Yeah, still more entertaining than dolphin sex, though.

So there we go.

It's close.

It was close.

If it weren't for the fact that there was dolphin sex in it, I would have given it.

Oh, man, that movie's terrible.

That movie's just bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, there it is.

Well, I definitely watched this movie over.

Watching that movie again.

No, no doubt.

That's a close one.

Well, that's why they're both 0.5s.

For me, at least they're short.

True.

It was over.

We did have that going for it.

Because the credit, the opening credits and anchor.

This Movie's only like one hour and like 23 minutes.

Like, truly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it made no sense whatsoever.

That was why I was like, this movie makes no sense.

But, yeah, there it is.

That's the end of our Halloween month.

But, Alec, why don't you tell me whether you can find us?

And I'm so looking forward to you talking about Charles's name here.

I don't wanna.

I don't.

I don't want it.

Jj.

Love it.

But thank you for tuning in to the final week of October.

Your boy, that'd Be me.

Has survived another round of horror films on the podcast and still going strong.

Thank you very much.

We'll be here all week.

Shout out to our patrons for selecting this choice and supplying the overall topic for the month.

Richard, mel Brooks and JJ's luscious lickable lump.

Gotta go back to last episode.

Patreon is the place to get involved.

With all what's our verdict?

Shenanigans.

So join us there with Richard, mel Brooks and JJ's luscious lickable lump.

If that's your thing with that, I will kick it back to the titan of terror, the King of grass, JJ.

And his luscious Lickable Lump.

Small lump.

It is actually with that.

As always, we appreciate you tuning in.

Catch you on the next one.

Mike, I'm gonna need therapy.

Maybe that's why I don't get that sweaty during sex.

Oh, gosh.

What?