What if pleasure isn’t just personal — but political, ethical, and communal?

In this expansive and soul-stirring conversation, Kayla is joined by Andrew Phipps for a wide-ranging dialogue that bridges pleasure, ethics, community, nervous system safety, power, and what it means to live a truly fulfilling life in a rapidly changing world.

Together, they explore how modern systems — from capitalism and politics to productivity culture and individualism — have shaped how disconnected we feel from our bodies, from one another, and from pleasure itself. This episode invites listeners to zoom out and ask bigger questions:

What are we actually working toward? Who does our success serve? And what would change if pleasure, ethics, and connection were central rather than peripheral?

Andrew offers a global perspective on ethics, politics, and climate responsibility, naming how short-term decision-making and insular thinking have created collective harm — while Kayla brings the conversation home to the body, the nervous system, intimacy, and the longing for community many of us feel in our daily lives.

Together, they imagine a future rooted in shared resources, communal care, ethical leadership, and pleasure as a measure of quality of life — not just productivity or profit.

This episode is an invitation to soften, to question, and to remember that pleasure isn’t indulgent — it’s connective. It’s how we attune to one another, find our people, and come back into right relationship with ourselves and the world.

In this episode, we explore:

1. Why ethics are largely absent from politics — and why that matters
2. How arbitrary systems and borders shape disconnection and inequality
3. The difference between longevity and quality of life
4. Pleasure as a shared, relational experience — not a solitary one
5. Why community, not individualism, is the antidote to burnout and despair
6. How comparison culture erodes fulfillment
7. The role of nervous system safety in intimacy and connection
8. Reimagining success through rest, connection, and shared care
9. Tuning into “frequency” — and how resonance creates belonging
10. Why pleasure may be the most radical blueprint for the future

This is a conversation for those who feel the old ways crumbling and sense something more humane, connected, and pleasurable trying to be born.

Connect with Andrew Phipps

1. Instagram: @theintimacyinquiry and @empathyunbound
2. Listen to The Intimacy Inquiry Podcast
3. Youtube: The Intimacy Inquiry Podcast
4. Listen to Empathy Unbound Podcast

If you’re feeling called to stay in touch with Kayla:

1. Join the waitlist for the Sacred Desire course
2. Book your Liberation Wisdom session
3. Join my Newsletter Community
4. Support this podcast and leave me a tip!
5. Book 45 minute consultation
6. Email me at kayla@connectedpleasurecoaching.com with any questions

Welcome, beloveds, to the Connected Pleasure Podcast.

I am your host, Kayla Moore, certified sex therapist turned pleasure priestess and feminine liberation coach.

This is a sacred space where we burn down the old narratives and rise into a new way of being, one led by intuition, pleasure, and embodied truth.

Together, we explore sexual healing, feminine liberation, and the reclamation of your sovereign power in a world that benefits from your disconnection.

In every episode, we peel back the layers of indoctrination, remember what is ours, and weave pleasure back into the collective consciousness one brave conversation at a time.

You belong here.

Your pleasure belongs here.

Let's rise.

This podcast is for education and inspiration only.

If you're wanting to explore pleasure more.

Fully for yourself, I invite you to.

Go deeper with me through the offerings linked in the show notes or through.

The offerings of my guests.

If you're unsure whether one of these.

Containers or a therapeutic approach would best support you, you're welcome to schedule a.

Free 45 minute consultation with me.

Together we can explore what path is in your best interest.

And if I am not the right fit, I'll be glad to connect you.

With the resources you need.

Welcome back, beloveds, to the Connected Pleasure Podcast.

I am here today with a wonderful guest.

I had the privilege of being on Andrew's podcast that I hope you go listen to.

But today I get to sit down with Andrew Phipps, who is just one of the warmest, most beautiful men that I've ever met in my, like, late life so far.

I feel like your presence is so, so warm and I really enjoy getting to sit and talk with you.

So I'm so glad that I get to have you today.

Andrew is the host of.

Do you have two podcasts?

I. I wanted two.

So the one, the one we talked on was the Intimacy Inquiry, which is where we look at the things that should be discussed but often aren't about intimacy, relationships, connections.

And then the other one is about empathy, which is almost more of a.

More of a business one way.

But how do we use and recognize empathy in.

In people?

I just have to warn your listeners and viewers really.

So after the incredibly kind buildup, I'm bound to disappoint now.

So I.

So this is.

If listeners see this is the peak, except things are going to go downhill.

But thank you so much for that.

Yeah, that incredibly warm introduction, that was so kind of.

Well, I, I think you're gonna live up to it.

I. I have no doubt.

So I'm really interested, Andrew, to know your background.

You kind of started with background with me too, which is always A great place to start when you're getting to know somebody.

And it sounds like you, as many have kind of gone from corporate world into now being, I'm guessing, just a podcaster or, you know, supporting yourself in a different way monetarily.

So.

And I'm, I said just a podcaster, not just a podcaster.

You are a podcaster.

Doing a podcast is a business.

It's a lot.

And you do a lot of episodes.

So don't want to qualify it with just.

You are a podcaster.

You are somebody that is connecting with people all of the time.

So can you tell me, like, what was that journey like for you of deciding corporate life was no longer something you wanted to be involved in?

And how did you get also into podcasting?

How did you decide that that was something that you wanted to do?

That's a, that's a good question.

And I'll.

If, if you're okay, I'll just go back a little bit further.

Sure.

So my.

Some.

My background.

Background.

So I grew up the son of a coal miner and my grandparents were coal miners.

Well, the grandfathers were not the grandmothers and my uncle were.

So they lived in a sort of coal fields in the north of England in a relatively.

Yeah, we didn't have very much money.

There was sort of a council house.

It was a public housing, as you would call it, was in the coal mine.

And then hated school.

Really, really just couldn't.

I was always a person that wanted to know why and is there a different way?

And I think if you're a teacher of a class of 30, you don't hear that.

You just got a curriculum to stick to and that's it.

So I left school as soon as I could.

Didn't go to university.

I went straight to work and yeah, moved to London.

And I think my, my life started then really, so almost fell into lots of different jobs and ended up my last corporate role was in a big global corporate real estate company, which sounds terrible, but I loved it.

And the reason I loved it was I was so fortunate.

I had a team of three or four hundred people across the world in different countries, got to go and travel to meet them.

And my whole passion was just for spending time with people.

I was always one of the people that I never, ever, and thankfully this rarely happened.

I never, ever wanted to be the cleverest person in the room, and I just wouldn't.

I just had amazing people around me.

Got to work with some really talented people, saw people that came in as sort of, you know, relatively Junior individuals progressing on and moving to new companies and just doing great things.

And I really love that.

And during COVID I think lots of us had that pause and sort of something.

I work at home all the time, working harder than I'd ever worked in my life.

Every day was a 16, 18 hour day.

Just trying to make sure everybody else is okay.

And coming to the end of that thought, I'm not sure this is really gonna fulfill me as I move into the latter part of my working life.

So decided to go back to education.

I'd gone back and done an MBA about 15 years ago, which I really enjoyed.

So I went back and did a, an MSc in behavior change, which I really enjoyed as well.

And I thought, what's the thing I enjoy the most?

I'm just talking to people.

Whether it's presenting to ten people, a thousand people, I love presenting, or it's talking one on one with somebody.

I thought, well, let's just wonder if people might want to talk to me, first of all, thinking about why would they.

But I reached out to a few people and yeah, 95% of people are incredibly kind and generous with their time.

So I started the Empathy podcast.

And then after a while I thought I had a.

And I have a 16 year old son, 18 year old daughter.

They were obviously younger at the time, sort of teenagers.

And they came back from school after having what we call sort of sex ed.

And it was, it was perfunctory to say the least.

And I sort of talk to them because we try and talk quite openly.

So what do you, what do you talk about?

I said, well, we learned to put a condom on a banana, so it was useful.

We learned about STIs or sexual assimilant disease.

We, we learned a little bit about consent, which is good, which is progress.

Well, what about, what about pleasure?

What do they talk about?

Intimacy and relationships and feelings of things.

And it's.

Oh no, none of that.

And I.

So I just wanted to create a space where people could talk openly about things that perhaps are not talked upon enough.

So I've been fortunate to talk to people from porn actresses to sexologists to sex therapists to Christian fundamentalists to whoever that just have a view on relationships.

I think fundamentally life has to be about relationships.

Maybe we'll come on to it later on, but especially in light of how pervasive AI is becoming, the one thing that you and I can do that's different than AI is you and I can have a relationship.

You can have a relationship with your Partner, I can relate.

My partner with my children, with my neighbors, whoever.

That's something AI can't do.

And it's human connection, that ability to look at somebody and actually talk, I think is one of the most underrated skills that we have been able to have a conversation.

I think in light of social media and smartphones, all those things, it's so fundamental.

So actually, I think the podcast I've been doing is.

Is a space where very selfishly, I get an hour, hour and a half, two hours, three hours just to talk to somebody.

So when you and I talked and you really gave me your time, you were completely in the moment, you were completely focused.

And I thought when she's really listening and really talking and you just don't get that very often to sit and talk to somebody from.

And I could talk to my wife and I think my wife would say, well, when did we last sit down and talk for an hour and a half, just questioning each other?

We just don't.

So I think the podcast, long form podcast, at least gives you opportunity to actually really talk and get to know somebody a little bit.

I don't know if that sounds to the question at all, but.

So from coal mining to podcasting, that's.

Yeah, thankfully the coal mines closed before I had.

I'm not sure I ever saw myself as a coal miner.

Yeah, I agree with long form podcasting.

I hate social media for that reason.

Trying to say anything in like 30 seconds to potentially three minutes, if you can get people to even stay awake that long, it's just, it's really hard for me.

I. I talk a lot and I like to connect with people.

So I love the podcasting format for that as well.

And yeah, it's.

It's really cool to see the evolution of people.

And it sounds like during COVID was a big shift for you as it was, I think for a lot of people.

And I don't know if you gave enough credit to the fact that it takes a lot of one understanding yourself and also courage to say, okay, well I kind of did this and now I'm gonna do something else and just try it out and see how it goes.

Like, that's a big jump to do in your life.

Yeah, I mean, I think being.

Being very transparent.

So I'm in a fortunate position where the mortgage is paid, Madam has gone off to university, Alexander's got a couple more years at home, my wife works and brings in a salary.

So it.

So I'm in a very fortunate position where I don't have to have a certain salary, like saying podcast, generate some money.

Some of the coaching I do generate some money.

Other income streams.

So I think I was lucky to.

I think I was lucky in a way just to make the decision to step away, but also recognizing that whatever decision we make today, we can change tomorrow.

So if I decided I want to go back to corporate life, I'm sure there'll be somebody foolish enough to give me a job.

It's just not where I want to be or where I think I can.

I'm not gonna set out the most value, but where I can just connect with a broad church of people.

I think that's what podcasting, talking, etc, and I used to do.

So I totally agree about social media just having to.

Having to cut everything down to 30 seconds or a number of characters, hoping that somebody will click on it, hoping that it goes viral.

It just, it feels like sort of almost fast food relationships where you have one burger but you want another one straight away.

It's not filling, it's not a, it's not a gourmet meal.

It's just something that's very fast.

And yes, it fills a hole for a very short period of time, but immediately you want the next dopamine hit.

And I think, I think in the next 5, 10, 20 years research will be done that proves how negative an impact social media's had with people.

But when you're living in it, it's been like, you know, 80 years ago, cigarettes were prescribed by doctors as helping to clear your lungs.

Adverts with doctors in saying, for the healthiest lungs, smoke, Lucky Strike.

What?

And that, that's where social media is now.

I think in 10, 20 years time it'll be seen as, yeah.

An aberration that we perhaps live through and hopefully it's relatively short.

Well, I think we're getting there.

I think we're already like broaching that topic.

I think there's a lot of people that don't want to hear that.

But yeah, I think we're already there.

Because wasn't it, was it Australia that just banned.

Yeah, I'm just for.

Yeah, for teens.

Yeah.

Friends sent over Christmas from Australia because my wife's Australian and The daughter was 15.

She's like, well, so I've had it for the last seven years.

No, I'm not gonna have it for six months.

So my son turns 16 on Saturday.

He's thinking, well, even if the UK bring it in, he's too late.

So I think France are just about to vote on under 15s, I think the education minister in the UK write a letter to all schools this week saying smartphones shouldn't be allowed in schools at all.

So I do think people are starting to recognize that.

But yeah.

12, 13, 14 year old, your brain's really developing so rapidly.

Yeah.

That these mini hits of dopamine aren't taking it to good places necessarily.

Yeah.

So to come back to relationships after this change that you've had in your career life, how has that changed positively, negatively, neutrally the relationships in your life like being home more, being maybe around your kids more or being more available to your wife.

How has that changed in your life?

Very interesting.

So I, I, there's two sides to it I guess.

One side is that I miss the day to day interaction with people.

Yeah.

And I used to, I used to enjoy dealing with all of the nonsense that work brings.

So some who have an issue with their manager and I can I deal with their manager somebody issue with their director or an issue with this or funding or whatever and I love being able to go in there and hopefully reconcile or bring people together.

So I miss that day to day sphere of influence.

I do, I do think.

Yeah.

So for the children.

So Madeline was going through her last year's A school so A level.

So I was always here.

Alexander for his, his next two years have got big exams coming up as well.

So I'm physically here.

So whether or not they say that's a good thing or not I'm not sure.

But just being able to, just being able to be around, always be there to cook dinner, always be there to collect them, all that sort of stuff.

So I think that's, I think that's been a good thing.

I think with my, I would issue with my wife.

I think it's more complex.

I think there's almost a, a feeling.

So she works full time so and she's always enjoyed her job.

I've enjoyed her career rather.

But I think there's almost that thing where because I'm at home and sort of taking on all of the home responsibilities which substitute right then she in turn seems to just work longer and longer.

So I said well I don't need to go home to make dinner, I don't need to go home to pick up the kids.

I don't need to go home, do the shopping, whatever.

Just she shouldn't have to.

But I sort of hope that me doing that I just think great now I'll be happy at the same time.

But we now go off the Eden to Ourselves, we can do this, we can do this.

I think that's, that's perhaps something we need to work on.

And I think, as I said, Madeline's already gone.

Alexander, two years, he'll be gone.

So we'll suddenly have that empty nester thing where we will look at each other and either go, oh my goodness, you're here, you're here.

And then sort of think, oh, and either, either we'll take the chance and we'll spend our time walking around the house naked, heaven forbid, or we'll have an incredibly uplift in our sex life, or we'll look at each other and think, gosh, yeah, maybe it was just the kids, really.

That's been our whole focus.

How do we, how do we revitalize what we, what we had?

So I think that, I think what I'm doing at the moment is sort of acknowledging that that's coming and then trying to make some changes or decisions or have conversations around it.

So before it happens.

Because I think if we get to a place in two years time, we'll look at each other and think, gosh, on this big house, which is lovely, but you're at work all the time, I'm at home all the time.

So you leave the house at 7 in the morning, get back at 7 at night and then we have dinner, watch something on tv, fall asleep and that's it.

Eat something.

Yeah, it doesn't feel like where I want to be for the next 20 years.

Hopefully we'll.

Yeah, we'll look at that.

I think how can we use what we have in terms of the different dynamic to strengthen, revitalize, re.

Energize the relationship that we have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is interesting thinking that hopefully you would have more time together and yet, you know, it, it is easy to be like, well, if somebody else is taking care of it, then I can just keep.

Yeah, keep going.

Keep doing the thing that capitalism wants you to do.

I know, it's just, it's just hard programmed to feel guilty about taking time really.

So that most people in corporate jobs work more than the hours they're paid for by.

I'm sure by 20, 25%.

So every week her work gets an extra day and a half out of it and the weekend you'll come and have to do expenses or come and do something else or whatever.

And I think, gosh, it's just, it feels like a lot.

So I do feel there's a sort of chance to try and reset and yeah, whilst works important and you should be Enjoyable and obviously it funds the lifestyle.

It's just trying to make sure there's.

Imbalance is probably the wrong word.

I think harmony is probably a better word because balance is just sort of 50, 50.

I don't think it is that.

I think sometimes work can be.

I find work can be all encompassing and I won't have time for anything else at all.

Other times, it's no way around.

So I think there's that harmony.

I think there's more.

The more the word that I like to think about.

Yeah.

So hopefully we'll.

Yeah.

Get the chance and sort of reconnect, spend more time together and.

Yeah.

Rediscover the things that we used to enjoy or find new things that we enjoy.

Yeah, for sure.

So I talked a lot about this on your podcast.

I wanted to kind of bring this into talking about the divine feminine, Divine masculine.

And you are the first man that I've had on this podcast, so I'm getting to pick your brain a little bit of, like, how you feel.

Obviously, you come from a slightly different culture than we have in the U.S. but I think, you know, our.

Our cultures are fairly comparable and we influence each other a lot of.

Just like how I describe the sacred feminine.

Sacred Masculine or divine feminine.

Divine masculine is the divine feminine is kind of this potential energy that can go anywhere, do anything, and create life.

And the Divine Masculine is kind of the container that holds that energy and allows it to kind of focus itself so that it can actually bring that potential energy into something that we can, like, tangibly hold or see in the 3D world.

And both of those really have to come from, like, a very integrated, aligned place.

I really like to think of the Divine Masculine as being the container of safety and really providing this safe space for creation to happen.

And someone I was just listening to recently talked about how the divine masculine is really, like, there to protect life.

That, like, the feminine creates life.

The masculine is there to protect life.

And that doesn't mean, like, how we have seen in our, you know, history that people on Earth now can remember of, like, you know, getting a gun and trying to shoot anything that moves.

To me, it's more like creating environments and like whole societies that are going to support life.

And right now we definitely have societies that basically do the opposite, that we are actively killing life and not supporting humans, being able to actually be humans.

So with all that being said, you know, typically still in our society, like, men being home in kind of the domestic space is not unheard of anymore, but it's still A little bit more of the outlier than the norm.

And I would say doing that shift is kind of coming into the feminine space that we have deemed the feminine space in society.

That doesn't necessarily mean that's, like, part of the divine feminine, but in terms of, like, how society views masculine and feminine, that is more of the feminine space.

So I'm just curious for you, as you have gone through some of these shifts and you also have been wanting to come more in, I would say, your feminine space of having more intimate conversations with people, being really vulnerable with people, getting down to the root of, like, what are the different elements of humanity that we want to have real honest conversations around?

Was that ever something that was difficult for you?

I guess my biggest quote, my overarching question is, like, what are your relationships to masculinity, to femininity within yourself?

And how have you seen those shift at all?

Maybe throughout this transition that you've had, coming more into a space of, like, being home more and being more with your children and having a new dynamic with your wife and having some, like, really, I'm sure, amazing conversations with other people about humanity.

I'm just curious of how you've noticed some of those things shift or if any of that was hard for you of like, oh, wow, this is, like, totally outside of my comfort zone that maybe you had to work on a little bit.

Wow, that is a far bigger question I ever asked you.

Second.

But no, it's a.

It's a brilliant question.

And, oh, gosh, I've got so much to say about that.

So go and get a cup of tea or something and come back.

I think going back in history, I think we've always had this sort of definition of what a male role is, what a female role is, what masculinity is, what femininity is.

And I think going back to when we were nomads, the man's job was to go out and hunt for food and protect the village from marauding invaders and the cuff to the women and children.

Interestingly, I think back in those days, though, we were.

We were far more of a polyamorous society.

Whereas, you know, it would be such a read that it was a village to raise a child.

It literally was that you wouldn't necessarily know who the father was, but everybody had joint responsibility for the children of growing, et cetera.

Then once we decided to stay in one place and start to own property, yeah, that's where things started to.

Started to decline.

Even though I came from a property company, once I went into the whole ownership.

And this is mine, it's not yours.

Whether it be my house, my ox, my sheep, my cows, my wife, my children, things change quite a lot.

And I think we, we perhaps misunderstood the fact that men can have and should demonstrate very feminine traits and feelings.

Women can and should demonstrate very masculine traits and feelings.

And society created these phrases like man up, stop being such a woman.

Ridiculous, ridiculous things that I hope I've never said.

And forgive me, anybody that says you just say that.

That's the big issue.

It is.

But I think one of the biggest compliments I've had working was when somebody said to me that I was the most vulnerable senior leader that they'd had.

And I thought that's such a wonderful thing to hear.

And lots of people.

That sounds like weakness.

And I think vulnerability to me is really about being open to understanding.

I mean, open to change.

So I do think I perhaps lean into my feminine side more than lots of other people would do.

If feminine is about nurturing, caring, understanding, etc.

That's, that's what I've always felt and always done, really.

But it's only probably latterly in my corporate life, when I got to a senior enough role that, not that I could call the shots, but almost that people aren't going to necessarily challenge what I, even though I did have people that are more senior to me saying, I'm pretty sure you should be sharing that with the team.

You're going to show, you should be giving the team that information or being so transparent, so open, so vulnerable with them.

Yes, because it's just all about trust, isn't it?

And I do think there is a real challenge in society today where young men and young women aren't necessarily sure what their roles should be.

Media, whether it's print media, television, film, music, whatever, it represents women in a certain way.

But then if women perhaps decide to act in that certain way, they're often shamed for being overly sexual and overly, overly demanding.

Oh, gosh, no, no, that's not, that's not very feminine, is it?

And men, they almost have this, this nervousness about what their role really is, because scientifically we don't need men to procreate anymore.

Women don't actually physically need a man to have a baby, as simple as that.

So science has changed.

So I think there's that, I think, gosh, that role is.

Gosh, how do we, how do we justify where we are?

I think the, the solution is to recognize, not, not to get into the whole gender discussion.

But to recognize that our feelings, sensations, genders in many ways are much more fluid than we ever expected.

Yeah.

So I can have a very firm, direct, strong conversation, whereas maybe people would tag us.

That's a very masculine way of doing things.

And I can have a very caring, nurturing, calm, transparent, vulnerable conversation with two people and within half an hour of each other.

I think it doesn't necessarily change who I am.

It just.

I always felt that sort of closing off that vulnerability or more nurturing or quiet side of me was just cutting off half of who I.

Who I am, really.

So I really thought I'm just a person.

And ultimately we're all just energy.

We are energy at the moment.

Our container is this skin and these bones.

That's a container.

We'll die and our energy will go into something else.

We ultimately are just energy.

So I think having access to all the energy, we can call upon feminine energy, masculine energy is so much more powerful and such better way of being able to talk and communicate.

The last thing.

Sorry, I'm going for too long.

The last thing on that.

I do think we do have a challenge at the moment with a particular area within AI and technology that the sort of phrase so tech bros just thrown out quite a lot.

You look at President Trump's inauguration, you're surrounded by tech bros. And Lauren Bezos was there as well.

But generally a lot of these tech bros were there and who have a very.

All of them have very, very aggressive, masculine.

Yeah.

Aura.

You can't see the being very prickly and very.

And I think that's.

That's not a good place.

I'm not saying that we necessarily should have AI, should be 50% men, women.

It's not, that's not what it's about.

It's about whether or not people recognize either are adapt enough to recognize there's a gap in their consciousness that they need to bring in outside skill, knowledge, expertise to fulfill that or to recognize they need to work on themselves to be able to tap into that more feminine, nurturing, developing, cleansing side of things.

So I do think that's.

Sorry, the last thing I'll say on that.

Something else that really, really bugs me is, you know, we have ESG and CSR and all those different things really, really important.

But other companies will produce reports on inclusion and they'll say, oh, we've got 50% male, 50% female representation.

We've got three male directors.

Three female directors.

Okay, that's, that's fabulous.

But when you look at who the people are, they Went to private school, Yale or Harvard, McKinsey government.

And now they're the same person, whether they're male or makes no difference, really.

So they can't just say, oh, they're different genders, because actually, ultimately, their influence, their knowledge, experience, it's the same.

And that's a challenge, I think.

I think diversity of experience, diversity of feeling, diversity of personality is far more important than diversity of gender in many ways.

So I do think we need to sort of really, really dig beneath a lot of things companies say about ecorepresentation and balance and all those things.

But who are the people that you're listening to?

Who are your influencers?

So I think is missing today that we don't accept people with different experiences to our.

To our own.

And that's what I've learned so much in the podcast.

Speaking to people that have spent a huge amount of time studying tantra or somatic healing or Reiki or energy transfers.

All these things are so powerful.

But there's still this nervousness about what we don't understand.

I guess that's.

I hope that's changing.

I do think it is.

And I think we'll either end up with a.

A polarized society in that we'll have people that are like you, that are very understanding and inclusive and warm and welcoming, and hopefully I fall into that a little bit.

And then people that are very opposite to us, I do think we'll have people who really want to connect more with each other, connect more with nature, connect more with energy, recognize that there's more physical presence, that there is this energy that we all share and we can transfer.

I'm not sure what I answered then.

Sorry, but it's.

Yeah, it's such a.

It's such a fascinating topic.

And the way you described the sacred feminine and femininity, when we spoke, I listened back to her, and it was really powerful.

Really made me think about, well, how do we tap into this?

Because we all have it.

It's not something we have to go out and find.

You have to read a book about it.

It's all within us.

We just have to realize that we're not.

We're not becoming any less of a man or a woman by accepting our feminine and masculine energy.

I think it's strength, as if anything.

Does that make sense?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And I. I guess I want to dig a little bit deeper, too, and understand, like, who have your influences been?

Because just like you're saying, we have all of those energies within all of us, it doesn't matter what gender in society you are, we all are created from an egg and a sperm.

We all have both divine feminine and divine masculine energy within us.

And all of us have been under a patriarchal society that have made us all be more in our masculine energy and really repress a lot of our feminine energy because feminine has been seen as bad.

And honestly, it's more about that if we are all integrated and have both of these energies, we are a lot harder to control.

And so if we suppress the feminine and make it seem like, you know, women, if we're feminine, then we're just crazy, hysterical, or we're too much, and we don't want that.

But as long as you, like, stay in this specific role that we've given you, that's fine.

And then if men are too feminine, then they're seen as weak and can't, you know, live in the masculine world because, like you said, they're too vulnerable, they're too emotional.

And that's not what we want in men, because we want them to be like the stoic protector that does everything on the masculine side, but nothing on the feminine side.

And so it just, like, it blows my mind that you have.

You just say this so plainly, like it's, you know, this is something everybody should think, and I totally agree.

And yet it.

It seems to just come so easy and naturally to you, which I'm sure it's not necessarily the case.

You've had a lot of years, I'm sure, to move through the things that we are given in society and come to this.

But I want to know for you, like, how did you arrive here?

Was this even the topics that you chose to talk about in a podcast?

I mean, you're, again, you're having really amazing, vulnerable conversations with people, and there's not a lot of men that are doing that.

And so I just wonder for you, like, is this always something that has felt pretty integrated for you, and you're just an amazing soul that came to this world to, like, talk about these things?

Or is this something that you have had to work through for yourself and kind of figuring out, how do I.

How do I bridge both of these energies in myself and feel comfortable and safe in that?

I never.

I never really thought about what the root cause of that, if that's the right phrase.

But I do think.

And then because of my upbringing, my dad's job, once he left the coal mines, we sort of moved.

We moved areas quite often.

The time I moved school, I think, when I was 11, and then moved school again when I was sort of 14 and then so I often moved at very pivotal times during the education.

So I, I didn't really have friends growing up that were, that were close to.

I didn't go to university, didn't have that group of.

My wife goes back to Australia and she has the same friends she had when she was 15 and they all get together and it's like they haven't.

They've seen each other yesterday.

It's amazing.

I don't have any of that which I think is.

It's not.

Oh my gosh, woe me so my, my comfort, my, the place I found everything really.

This is probably quite an old fashioned thing to talk about today was in books.

I, gosh I, when I was at middle school and I read every book in the school library.

I wrote a book a day and I just, no matter what it was about, it could be science fiction, it could be a house building, it could be whatever nursery rhymes.

I just, I'm so, so fortunate that I could pick up a book and a fiction book and be in that place.

I could imagine it, I could feel, I could taste it.

Also I, I felt even before I sort of ever got on a plane, I've been anywhere that I travel to the furthest reaches of the earth, far out into the universe, deep under the sea, deep into people's souls.

And I could imagine and really empathize without knowing what the word meant at the time, really empathize with how people felt.

And I think each, each interaction I have with a different character left a small what that mean to.

To wishy washy almost a small mark on my soul in a way.

So I feel my soul and my energy is made up of all these tiny fractions of stories and, and thoughts and feelings and energies other people have.

I think once I sort of got past the.

Not got past the reading stage but once I'd sort of then gone out and met people at work and had different managers, different bosses, different colleagues, different peers, different friends, et cetera.

Each one of them left an imprint for better or worse.

Some were, some are terrible.

I had some terrible managers, had some wonderful managers.

I always, always found it much, much easier, more enjoyable, more, more empowering to work with and for women.

So apart from my last boss who was a guy but he was very in touch with everything.

He was quite similar to me actually.

He probably wouldn't.

I miss it but he didn't.

Quite similar to me.

And we got incredibly well.

But prior to that my best managers, best Leaders ever were women and just.

And I used to love working for these women when I was younger.

I'm sure a lot of the time that were manifesters I had a crush on lots of them when I was sort of 18, 19 and they were like 30, 35, 40, whatever.

Sadly I just.

I'll do anything for you.

It's almost worshipless.

But yeah, I just, I just got so much from what they were doing and then when some of them were a little older and they had children and then their children and it's a.

Bring other stories to work and bring all these things into my life that I had no knowledge of.

I've got no Lisa's nephews and never babies or anything like that at all.

So to bring all these different dynamics into my sphere of knowledge and I think that's where all of this came from.

Well actually if I enjoyed it so much, wouldn't it be again selfish but amazing that you just reach out and ask people to talk about this stuff and people generally that are in touch with themselves in a. I guess in perhaps a non traditional way are just so open and so conversational and so warm generally.

And that's what I find the most interesting is people that on the surface you might have a very, you might have a very set view of what a.

A porn actress is like or a porn director or a sex worker or dominatrix or a sex worker.

Sorry.

Or a sexologist or whatever.

You're very clear view of what they are.

When I talk to them though and hear and feel their stories, it just adds something to my knowledge and what I know and that's what I hope the podcast.

I don't know what your podcast does is sort of share that with people.

I think we have to be.

We have to be selfish about wanting to acquire knowledge and intelligence and therefore feelings I think is what's missing at the moment.

Because we do have a.

We do have a pretty global political narrative that so called might is right.

Very male dominated, very aggressive, very take take, take.

Which ultimately will be found out to be a failure.

It won't ever in history as being a positive thing.

Yeah.

Because much more can be achieved by understanding and wanting to learn.

That's my biggest thing in life is an absolute thirst to learn something new.

Whether it be cyber.

Gosh much.

About 10 years ago now I became a Reiki practitioner and I loved how energy felt and how the transference of energy between people felt.

So I think any chance I get to learn something new in a conversation with, with whoever is just so empowering.

That's.

That's where I, I think reading was my first entry into.

Wow.

There's all these worlds out there I might never get to see, but actually I've been to them all so that people, when I move to a house and there's not a book in sight, or people say I just don't like reading, I can watch on tv, it's the same.

It's really not because you have a book and you can just imagine for yourself, create these worlds, these vistas, these sensations and you can read anything.

That's why I think most research shows that written erotica is far more powerful than porn because you can imagine, you can feel it and the feelings that reading something else the words and passion gives you is so powerful.

So I, I do wish people would read more and take more from the words that they're reading that that's where I first encountered all these different worlds and feelings that I couldn't explain at the time and sensations that I wouldn't be able to.

I still wouldn't be able to define now, but just took me to different places and expanded what I thought I knew.

So I know now that I know so little.

I know so, so little.

But.

And just have this voracious hunger to learn more.

That that's what drives me now is just the chance to learn more stuff about anything.

Just fill my mind with stuff is what I. Yeah.

Wanna, wanna keep doing.

Yeah.

So cool.

I.

You and I are.

Are so similar in that way.

I'm not a huge reader, but I am like a lover of knowledge and I think we need more of that right now.

Less consuming of random stuff that we don't need and more consumption of knowledge and connection with each other.

So it's just about being thoughtful, isn't it?

Because there's so much, there's so much content creation.

I'm not sure what the status, but it's probably, I don't know, a hundred hours of YouTube videos uploaded every minute or something.

There's probably million Instagram posts have been posted since we started talking, but it's that thought for consumption.

Do I watch this documentary and don't listen to this podcast?

Do I want to go for an hour long walk in the countryside and just listen?

It's amazing when you're outside and you just listen, don't have anything in your ears, don't think, just listen.

It's amazing how much those sounds can.

Bringing in knowledge.

So I think that whole awful consumption and thoughtful seeking of information and knowledge is so powerful, but it's just very easy to be bombarded with news.

When I, when I was younger, we had three television channels in the uk, three TV channels, It was four and it was five and now it's probably thousands.

And we had a couple of main newspapers and that was it.

There was no Internet, there was no smartphone, there was no social media, anything like that at all.

And in a way that was bad because all the information we had was very tightly controlled by media barons on one side, news corporations on the other end.

They told you what you needed to hear.

Whereas now we have the chance to go and find out anything for ourselves.

But a lot of us are quite lazy and we'll still just accept whatever Fox News or CBS or whatever tells us.

We won't spend the time to actually go and seek knowledge.

We just absorb information.

I think there's a big difference between information and knowledge.

Knowledge is something we have to work to achieve and work to attain.

But that's where the power and the joy is really of knowing something as opposed to just hearing something or has been told something.

Like knowing something is, it's amazing you know something about somebody or something or an activity on your leverage.

It's incredibly powerful.

Absolutely, absolutely.

And I think, I love that you are so open to all different places of taking knowledge or understanding things that we can get knowledge from a book, we can also get knowledge from speaking to a person.

We can also understand for ourselves.

Like how do I tune into my intuition and get knowledge from just how my body feels in a way, a moment or being in nature.

What can nature teach me?

Just about how I am also connected to nature and that we are actually mammals and essentially animals that are part of, you know, the whole ecosystem of our world, not just these beings that live above everything else.

Sorry to interrupt.

It's funny that we, for so long I think we've thought of like humans, Us.

Yeah, and nature, like two separate things.

Not thinking, well, we just, if you look at the universe, debate how old it is, but say it's 10 billion years old, our time in the universe is a half a second on a 24 hour clock.

We're so insignificant and all the researchers, if we, if we all died out tomorrow, then animals, insects would, would thrive and grow and achieve incredible status.

But we, we have this thing, or we've always had this thing advice.

Whereas us and nature, we're trying to control nature, trying to manage nature, we're trying to harvest nature, not thinking that we are part of nature.

And, and, and I I do.

And this is going to sound a little bit esoteric, but I do think that being in the presence of somebody with knowledge, suddenly with lived experience, almost, sometimes without even talking to them, I feel I'm almost absorbing, almost Right.

Osmosis, their feelings on it.

My next door neighbors, 86, and she's been an incredible artist all along.

She paints, she pots, she's fabulous.

And this one, I go out and sit and talk to her and we talk.

And just being in her presence uplifts me, energizes me and brings me joy.

And the same with you.

When I'm with you, I feel a warmth and a joy by just being with you, not even having to say anything.

And that's perhaps what we might come to understand in decades, centuries, millennia, that actually we exchange a lot more energy with each other beyond words.

Yes.

Looks and feelings and touch and all those things are good things.

But I think even without those things, we do exchange energy.

We do leave an imprint on the people that we meet.

And I hope we'll see more research into that.

Sorry, I interrupted.

No, I feel like my brain is not great with words today.

So you're.

You're helping me shape what I'm trying to say.

So I think we're already getting there.

But I wanted to bring you a little bit more global.

We've really focused in on you.

And you and I started our conversation before we hit record on just kind of what is happening in the US right now, how that's influencing everyone else in the world and how they're kind of watching what is happening here in real time.

And I know you had mentioned to me in your podcast that you are, I believe I remember this, right, doing a PhD in philosophy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so obviously, like, everything could be philosophical, but I wonder if there's anything really interesting you right now in terms of like a philosophical question that we as humanity are kind of grappling with.

I'm sure they're like a million philosophical questions that we're all grappling or could grapple with at the moment.

But if there's anything that kind of stands out to you or maybe that you're learning about right now that you feel like would be good to talk about, about kind of where we're at in the world and our kind of evolution as human beings as we've kind of already started to talk about.

And these thoughts are going to probably come out quite randomly.

So I haven't necessarily thought about this in that context, but I do think the big thing at the moment that I think we should consider more and understand more is whether the things that we are doing, the decisions we're making, the choices we take, we're doing them ethically.

And ethically to me means.

It means that it's the right thing to do in the view of the majority of people.

So I think there are things that we can do that are unethical.

We can call them out razorly things we can do that are ethical, we can call them a razor.

But generally, most things are in that sort of gray area.

Of course they are.

Some people will disagree with, some people will agree with.

But I think generally, if we look at the decisions that have been taken, whether it be with immigration in the US or the desire to take over Greenland or Russia invading Ukraine or Israel and Hamas, et cetera, where are we approaching that from an ethical standpoint?

How would our grandchildren view what we've done?

How would people that never meet us view what we've done?

So from an ethical consideration, and I don't think, I don't think ethical or ethically or ethics is something we hear very much about in politics and ultimately the world.

The world is politics ultimately because we're saying before we, before we hit record, though the majority of news in the UK and in Europe and indeed in Australia are further revealed is primarily what's happening in the US because the US is such a big player, particularly at the moment, it's so dominant, it's so.

It's so fast moving that it dictates a lot of the needs that we have.

So our Prime Minister today has gone up to China and there's lots of debate about whether he should be there or not.

Some are saying he shouldn't be there, he should be working more close to the Americans.

Some are saying, no, he should be pulling back from America and working my close to the Chinese.

And it just becomes so political because all of these, all of the countries that we have today, apart from islands, I guess, are based on arbitrarily drawn lines on a map is extreme.

You look at the maps of some parts of Africa and it's a straight line.

Look at states in the us, how they're configured.

Look at US and Mexico and all.

It's all one landmass.

Right.

Over time policy, you've got Alaska, that's stuck onto the side of Canada.

Is it completely, completely arbitrary?

Yeah.

And I think that's, that's one of the big challenges that whether politicians are making decisions that are ethically balanced.

And I don't necessarily think they are.

I think there's a very, very strong, but the strongest I've ever known.

Insularity, that's such a word.

A very, very insular view of how things should be done.

We're doing this thing for my electorate and that's where things like climate change and environmental considerations are so, so, so challenging.

Yeah.

Because most of the emissions globally have been generated by countries in the Northern hemisphere.

So the us, Russia, the uk, Europe, whatever, all the time during the industrial revolution when we were building, manufacturing, all those things.

But the people that suffer the most, people in the Southern hemisphere who haven't contributed anything to global emissions.

But this, they sing about, well, change something in your country because it's going to affect somebody in the Maldives or Pakistan or Afghanistan, whatever.

It's a very hard sell if you're a politician.

Donald Trump never going to say to Americans, right, we're going to stop drilling of oil.

We're going to go, everything's going to be windmills and solar power because there's risk of floods in Pakistan.

It just did not.

Because politically that would be suicide, which is terrible.

But that isn't an ethical way of doing things.

I think one of the challenges is that from a global perspective, most governments, most decisions that are made are made with very short term goals in mind because our political systems, you know, Donald Trump would be gone in three years, he'd be the next person.

In the UK, it's a five year parliament.

You have four year parliament.

France, it's five year parliament.

So thinking 10, 20, 30, 50 years in the future just isn't something we, we do.

But I think if we had ethics running through as a, as a sort of a ribbon to everything we did, don't say things would be better.

Yeah.

And I don't say that in a wishy washy, soft, sort of liberal sort of way, but I just think doing things ethically.

Yeah, the positive way of doing things, I think it's a positive way to, in business, it's a positive way of seeing growth and seeing people want to stay and people learn and people develop and people stay with the Same company for 10, 20, 30 years.

People grow and we see profits, but we don't see profits as the only goal, whether that's political profit or commercial profit.

I think having ethics standpoint is the key for me, is the key philosophical and real question that affects us.

Is this the best ethical choice?

Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, it's a big thing.

It has to be.

Yeah, it does, it does.

And I feel like the Thing that I'm picking up that's running through all of that, that I also have been seeing in my own life as a structure that is eroding is something you already said of, like, all the things that we have deemed as this is its own entity.

Or what's yours is yours, what's mine is mine.

Like, these are all concepts and just random structures that we created.

And we used to be, like you said, much more communal and sharing all of our resources as a species together.

And we've gotten so far from that.

I. I don't have a great, like, through line with this, but yesterday I was at.

Or maybe it wasn't yesterday, it was a couple days ago, I was at a bakery with my son.

And I just feel like how we police children around, like, oh, this is my stuff.

This is our stuff.

Like, we're gonna try to, like, keep our own little corner over here.

Cause we don't wanna disrupt anyone else.

I had this moment of feeling, like, it's so weird that we're, like, in a.

What we would call, like a third space.

Where, like, we're all, like, coming together to, like, be around other people.

And yet we're still so, like, oh, I have to stay at my table.

I have to, like, make sure my stuff isn't, like, getting into anyone else's way.

You know, we have the things that we bought, and that's the only thing that we can have with us.

It.

There was just a moment where I was like, I feel like I'm very much, like, teaching him to be, like, we just stay in this little box and don't, like, interact with other people.

And it was weird to me.

And I think I have had a feeling of, like, the way that we have structured our society and wanting children to, you know, grow, go to college, get a job, then you get a house.

Then you have to, like, build wealth just based on your own little family unit.

And of course, there's like, generational wealth that mostly white people are able to access.

But there's so much around, like, everybody has to just do this themselves.

And I really see that eroding.

I really feel like we're going to come back to this place where, yeah, we don't have these arbitrary lines on a map anymore.

That we are thinking much more globally about us as a species instead of just who is.

Yeah, in my district or honestly, the people that are in charge right now, they don't care about anyone but themselves.

They have no care whatsoever.

As long as they somehow, like, survive the apocalypse.

Which is definitely not going to happen because they're alone.

They like, they don't give any credence to the power of community.

But I feel like that's where we're coming back to because we have to in order to start to think about these questions again and to, you know, try to stand up against the powers that are trying to say, like, we get to do whatever we want to you.

And we're like, no, you actually don't get to do whatever you want to us because we have way more people than you do.

And if we work together, we can tell you no.

And so I just, I just think all of this really comes down to.

Yeah, how do we start to think about each other as a community again, A global community, local communities.

How do we start to share resources with each other again, Stop feeling like we all have to do life alone and like, figure out how to gain our own resources just for like the people that live in your house.

I really feel like all of that is starting to revisit shape itself.

So a couple of things on that.

First thing I want to say is that the biggest advantage your son has in life is he has you as a mom to guide you things.

And he's, he's incredibly fortunate to have you.

And I'm sure his father's just as sort of powerful of influence in his life.

I think.

Secondly, I think we as a globally, we have enough food and water and well too, I think food, we have enough food to feed everybody 2.5 times over each year.

So there's no shortage globally of food, whether that be rice, vegetables or whatever.

We have no shortage of food whatsoever.

The big issue is, I'm pretty sure it's the same in the US in the UK, 31% of all food is wasted, whether that's during a manufacturing process in, in retail or at home, just thrown away, discarded.

Yeah, and so that's, and I'm sure the same in the US we have.

I'm sure, yeah, huge levels, yeah, we.

Have huge levels of obesity in most of the developed nations.

So we, we tend to eat more than we ever did before and we certainly eat far more meat and fish and all those, all the sort of fellow creatures than we ever did before, which is not a good thing.

I think one of the, one of the big changes I, I think, and I, I do agree with you, I think that I fear this coming is how we define success.

So I think we, we used to define success hundreds of years ago as, do I have enough?

Do I have Enough food to sort of feed the family and the village and the tribe or whatever, and that was enough.

Then we went to.

Moved into houses and apartments and streets and things.

We might be the first person on the street to get a.

Get a car.

So, my gosh, I've got a car.

Wow.

Isn't that amazing?

It's amazing.

The next one, I get a better car and suddenly your car doesn't feel like it's a good car.

Then everybody in the street gets a car.

Some people get two cars, some people get sports cars.

And you're left feeling bereft because you've.

You've ventured into this comparison culture which is what's destroyed us for so many decades, I think, is because nothing's.

Other than nothing's.

Your car hasn't changed your experience with your.

Nothing's changed at all.

You still got the same car.

It's amazing.

You can do what you want to do with it.

Yeah.

Just when you look at everybody else, when you're in a cafe and somebody else has an amazing muffin and you can only afford a coffee or whatever, oh, gosh, I don't want that muffin.

But it's.

It's just because we see what the people have and decide that's what we want.

And I do.

Do you think we will have to see a more open approach to possessions and what is ours and what isn't ours?

And I'm not.

Not.

I'm not talking about like a communist utopia or, you know, just put everything into the communal pot and it's divided up by the government because that always goes homelessly wrong as well.

But just a willingness to be more able to share, really.

Yeah.

If somebody, you know, doesn't have something, then give the person something.

And it tends to be.

And it's often, often the sort of trope of movies and things, it tends to be the people that have the least or have less that are more willing to give than the people that have the most.

People have a lot, I guess, have accumulated a lot because they've been very possessive and very.

It's mine.

Where something that hasn't had doesn't have a lot.

So.

Well, you know, I've only got, you know, four slices of bread left, but you can have three of them because.

Whereas something that's got, you know, 10 loaves in the cupboard, now I'm going to keep those.

It's like when you see a.

There's a warning of a flood or a hurricane or whatever, people rush to the supermarket to buy 20 loaves of bread or 100 bottles of water.

Well, are you buying that for the whole community or is that just for your house?

Then at the end of the hurricane you're going to throw away nine loaves of bread out of the 10.

It's just that recognition that if we can share with people is a good thing.

I think there's so much research, scientific research, that shows that doing a good deed to somebody, you feel it's a good deed, has a more positive impact on the person doing the deed than the person the deed's done for.

Yeah.

So if you're on a coffee line and you pay for somebody's coffee behind you, whatever, you feel far better about doing that than the person behind you.

Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'm still not quite sure.

But there is definitely that notion that actually doing something with somebody else is doing something for you as well.

So sharing or asking somebody to join you or sitting at a table with somebody that seems to be lonely by themselves or buying something, coffee or.

It just is a, just a nice thing to do.

Nice is a.

Nice is underappreciated word.

But I do think hopefully people will see the value in sharing and communal access to things and realize that we don't necessarily need to own a car or own things we can rent or lease or share or have access to.

I do think that feels a better place to, to be rather than having to just own everything.

Lock your door with three locks.

Yeah.

And that feels like a.

It feels like a place that lots of kings and queens and leaders had in medieval times where eventually their subjects overthrew them because they see that we haven't got bread but you're eating cake or it just doesn't feel right.

Hopefully we don't get to like a physical revolution, but hopefully a mental revolution.

Yeah, that sharing is, is not a bad thing to do.

It's a good thing to do.

And I think with, with children, I think children are so innocent until they're not.

So I can remember kids were 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and it goes to the playground and they'd be sort of, you know, be playing with other kids, whatever, on the swings or the push up, she has the seesaws and things running over and say, oh, can, can, can Johnny come to tea?

And my best friend, he just met him like two seconds ago and they start playing to them or chat to them, talks to them.

They're in a playgroup and they'll all just sit there and play and chat and talk.

Whereas if 10 adults go into a room, they sort of might meander over to somebody and say, hello, I'm Andrew.

What do you do?

And he feels so embarrassed, so awkward.

Whereas children have this complete beautiful naivety.

Naivety and innocence.

Everybody likes them, everybody wants to be their friend.

And it's sad that we were told that that's not the case, but maybe it is.

Maybe I do want to be our friend.

But we just learned that we need to protect what we have and protect ourselves from other people because they're potentially going to take it from us as opposed to share with us or experience the joy with us.

So, yeah, yeah, it's really interesting and I think that links very close to something we talked about last week was pleasure.

So where does pleasure come from?

Pleasure, Something that sitting in your counting house, counting your gold brings you, or is it sitting by a river, having a very cheap makeshift picnic with friends?

It's probably the latter.

It's just.

Yeah.

Understanding what is.

What is pleasurable and allowing yourself to accept pleasurable feelings and sensation.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for bringing pleasure back into this.

Because it's important, isn't it?

Yeah.

Something I didn't experience at a very early age.

I think certainly that whole self pleasure, understanding what brought me physical pleasure, emotional pleasure, apart from reading, was quite.

Yeah.

Was something that wasn't in my life, really.

But I do think recognizing what brings us pleasure allows us to connect with other people and experience pleasure with somebody else.

Pleasure of a conversation, pleasure of holding somebody's hand, pleasure of eating food with somebody, pleasure of watching a film with somebody, pleasure of walking outside with somebody, pleasure being in bed with somebody.

All these things are pleasurable activities.

But I think you've got to know what pleasure means to you, really, to be able to truly share energy with somebody else, which I think is more pleasure.

It's about that shared energy.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely.

And my mission with this podcast is to, like, create a blueprint for the world that we want after hopefully the.

It's probably going to be a simultaneous happening of things are crumbling as we are like, trying to birth something new.

But we have to be open to talking about, like, what do we want next?

If we don't want this, then what do we want next?

And we don't want to go back to just how it was before.

We want something that's completely revolutionary and different.

And I think this is really one of the core things that I see as something that I think we all want.

We all want to be more connected.

We all want to be able to not feel so much pressure.

I know, me, my siblings, like my whole generation is just feeling so much pressure to live up to the standards that like our parents had.

But we've had no way of getting there in the circumstances that we have lived through in our lives.

And there's this feeling of like, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna achieve the things that my parents achieved.

But I really feel like this time again is starting to break those things down and say, just like you said, like, the measure of success is gonna be so different and like, how pleasurable would it be if we started to measure success or value in society based on how much connection we can have with each other, how much rest we can do in a day, how much just shared resources we could have within a community that if a whole community was taken care of, that's success instead of us all having to do that individually.

So I just think it's so cool to have these conversations and to really dream into what that could look like.

I think one of the things we've fixated on as a society is the length of life that we live.

And we haven't spent time thinking about the quality of life that we live.

So I think only a hundred years ago, the average age in the UK you died, it was 50 or something like that.

I'm probably wrong, but say it was 50, now it's 80.

But if those last 10 or 15 years are spent in and out of hospital, they're spent maybe with dementia, with different cancer, with illness, with all these things being kept alive by, you know, a cornucopia of pills and potions and things, is that life quality?

So I do think, I do think living a living a pleasurable and fulfilling life, no matter how short or long that life may be, is so much more important than just trying to eke out a very dry, very, yeah, very unsatisfying life, really.

And sometimes I just want to go and sell everything up and go and live in a small villa in Costa Rica near the beach.

And I think, I think that'd be, that'd be so much joy in that.

But I think I miss other people.

Yes, I have a.

If I could have a commune and you and your husband and child could come, my kids could come, some friends could come, some like minded people could be there, it'd be amazing.

But I do almost that and, and you've almost, you've taken this mantle really very, very bravely of almost recognizing that your mission in life is to help other People connect and communicate and yeah, almost to help people find the right frequency, if that makes sense.

Sometimes I feel that in the old days, radio, sort of tune the radio with the dial and you get, and you get the right thing.

I think sometimes we just.

Our frequency is not quite right.

Now I really feel a very attuned frequency with you which I hopefully you feel the same and I think that's the more and more people we can get onto the same frequency.

I think frequency, vibration, energy, it's all part of the same thing.

It's all how we choose to share who we are and what we are and how people embrace that, then that's what's super important.

Regardless of where we live and how far apart we are, all those things it's, it's almost more powerful that you're in the us, I'm in the uk but we have the same different zones, everything.

It's light where you are, it's dark where I am, but we have the same frequency.

And that's.

That's incredible, isn't it?

That's just incredible.

Mind blowing in a way.

Yeah, it's because now you and I meant by happenstance, a lot of people do the same thing.

You just reach out to somebody.

You have no idea where the conversation or the dialog is going to go.

But if both of you are open, regardless of your gender, ethnicity, age, experience, location, all those things, you can tune into the same frequency if you just allow yourself almost to receive the energy that's coming in.

That sounds very, that sounds very sort of cultish really, but you know what I mean, that just getting the right frequency with people, just finding people that are your, in the best possible use of the word, your tribe, your people.

I say my daughter, university now she's talks a lot about finding her, her tribe, finding her people at university.

Yeah, because they come all over the country, different backgrounds, some private schools, some public schools, some posh, some poor, some rich, some whatever.

It's just finding people that are your sort of people, it's your flatmates, people in your course, people in the pub, whatever.

And just she sort of said, yeah, I really found, I find my tribe now.

I really like that, just how it feels that, yeah, there's that energy and that resonance game with people.

Yeah, yeah.

Well I've kept you also for a long time and I know it's evening for you so we should do a.

Week, we should do a weekly call, just a weekly episode.

Andrew talk.

I know, I.

Your expression of tuning people to the same frequency, I, I love that.

And I hope you don't mind if I steal that, because I think that's exactly, that's exactly what I'm doing.

But also we are doing.

And I don't know, I feel like maybe you and I have met each other in some other lifetime.

Because, yes, 100%, conversations have just been so easy and so fluid.

And I know you gave a disclaimer about yourself in the beginning, but I think you've completely lived up to the feelings that I feel when we're in conversation together.

And again, as a woman, it's not very often that I feel that with another man.

And you know, just again, like you said, somebody random that you just said yes to having a conversation together.

Didn't know that it was gonna feel so easy.

It's just, I think a lot of the things that you do and hopefully the things that I do to a less high quality.

I think it's about holding space for somebody.

Really.

Yeah.

So I think we were often thinking of the answer before we've sort of heard the question.

And I feel what you do so well as you talk and then you answer a question, but then you're listening to the answer, you're not thinking, right, what I'm going to ask next, that's, that's what I think is where people get the deepest connection, is actually being able to listen to.

And they always say, we've got one mouth and two ears, but we use the.

We use the one twice as much as the two.

I think just being able to listen to something, actually.

Gosh, yeah.

Because a lot of things you've asked me about today, about what is the.

What are the big philosophical questions?

How do we connect?

How do we share with each other all those things?

It's really going to make me think when I've left.

Left this call and I think the lead call.

And that's what you want, isn't it?

You want to.

You want to have a conversation, but then it come back to you in a few days time.

And it was same on our first call.

Okay.

And.

Gosh, yeah, you should say that.

And I sort of read through the transcript and listened to it as well, is think things you say come back and it's.

Yeah, the story about your, you and your son in the bakery and sharing and people.

That's really going to.

It's really going to sit with me and make me think about, well, how.

How can we share that freaks with more people.

How can we amplify the frequency?

It's not just a local radio station.

It becomes a nationwide global frequency.

And it's, it's not overly.

It's not being arrogant or thinking, well, we can do this and nobody else can.

It's.

Well, everybody can.

If we just connect me with you and you with him and him with her and me with her and him.

It just becomes so quickly the whole compound nature of things.

Hopefully five people listen to this call.

10 people, 20 people, 100 people.

They pass on to somebody else.

Somebody else.

Somebody else.

And that's where the power comes, I think is just so we can amplify the frequency is where we get the biggest results.

Yeah, for sure.

Well, maybe we should start another podcast.

100%.

I'd be up to that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm 100.

We'll.

We need to meet a person one day.

We do feel.

It does feel like this isn't the first time.

It does experience your energy in whatever form that came in previous lives.

But yeah, and I.

We haven't talked about religion at all or beliefs and things.

I'll leave that another time.

But I'd be a whole.

I think energy is just a big thing and you can just get a sense of.

I have a sense that your energy is already imprinted on me before going back to something that feels very comfortable in a.

In, In a very nice way, not in a comfortable in a negative way.

So.

Yes.

Yeah, I'll stop talking now.

Gosh, I'm so overawed on the first guy you've had on the podcast.

So hopefully I didn't let down the divine masculine, my sacred feminist side as well.

No, I, Yeah, I don't.

I didn't want that to feel like pressure to you.

I, I wanted it honor, hopefully.

But I definitely feel like the spaces I've been in for a long time, you know, it's been a lot about like, women empowerment and rightfully so.

Again, like, women have not had it easy in our society at all.

But I'm starting to find my edge of like, at least for myself.

I still really want to empower women and work with women, but I really want to get into also helping men find their place too and feeling like we can again, like all come together just as human beings.

We all have our place and it doesn't need to be, you know, women only all the time or men only all the time that we can start to commingle again and feel like we can all come back to Being both in the divine feminine, divine masculine, and how do we co create that within our relationships, within our households.

So it's, I think that's another part of this evolution is just continuing to feel safe enough to like start to bring everybody into the tent instead of start just being in like our little siloed spaces, which again, like safe spaces have been really important for marginalized people.

And I think it's time to start like bridging those gaps a little bit.

And that's what, that's what's so powerful to me about hearing you talk is that sometimes as a middle aged white bloke, I feel like a fraud.

I shouldn't be talking about this sort of stuff.

I should believe it to people that actually have experienced some of the challenges that I, I feel are so important.

But that's why I think the.

Yeah, I, I do think, yeah, we might have been done dirty for hundreds of years.

No getting around it.

But having me say it doesn't feel.

I sometimes feel disgenuine.

I really don't want to ever feel like that.

I don't want to come across as being somebody that' just jumping onto something.

I feel that.

So that's why I think your voice saying it actually, yes, this is super important.

But actually the, the real power comes from all these energies mixing together.

Because energy doesn't have gender or a diabete or a.

No energy is just energy.

And that's where, that's where the power comes.

You want everybody to feel safe.

You want everybody to have the space they need and then to look for and accept and listen to and learn from others.

Energy.

I think that's ultimately what it comes down to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I think we should wrap up now, so.

Yeah, I've got to go and cook dinner.

Alexander would bang on or otherwise.

Yeah.

I so appreciate this time with you.

I think as we've said for the last like 10 minutes, it's been so long.

Really nice.

Yeah.

So until next time.

I will see you when I see you.

And thank you so much to all the listeners listening.

I know this was a long episode, but I hope you really enjoyed it and I will talk to you in my next one.

Take care.

All right, thank you.

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