Struggling with the chaos of being a solo mom?

Discover the secrets of staying organized with Nicole Gebai, the best-selling author of The Art of Organizing.

Listen in with us as Nicole artfully weaves her personal experiences into a tapestry of wisdom, explaining how her chaotic upbringing paved the way for her success as a professional organizer. (01:38)

Nicole brings forward her intriguing six-step process, a beacon of hope for solo moms seeking to declutter and streamline their lives.

Nicole further sheds light on the significance of portability and organization in our lives.

Discover her ingenious halfway book system that simplifies the daunting task of categorizing and storing information, making it a breeze to manage your calendar and time.

We also tackle the tricky task of decluttering children’s spaces, with Nicole revealing her tried-and-tested techniques such as labeling, clear drawers, and chore charts. (19:31)

So if you're a solo mom growing in chaos from clutter, tune into this episode for a transformative experience that promises to help you declutter not just your physical spaces but also your mental spaces as well.

Bio: Nicole Gabai, the author of the best-selling book The Art of Organizing: An Artful Guide to an Organized Life, is a professional organizer and Golden Circle member of NAPO - the National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals. Her specialty is creating order out of chaos.

Connect with Nicole: Website | Instagram

Don't parent alone: Connect with other solo moms or book a free chat with me here. Remember you're not alone.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Mentoring invitation

[00:00:00] Having difficulty with your teen. Are you struggling with finding solutions to your everyday parenting problems? Being a solo mom can be tough. I know with all things you juggle mostly for your children. Your left. With very little time for yourself. [00:00:15] It can be hard to see your way out from where you are currently. But what if I told you. That you can change your life. And the lives of your children. As a Christian solo mom of three adult sons, I know firsthand some of the challenges you face. [00:00:33] But I also discovered that when I shifted my mindset, I was able to transform my life in some amazing ways. [00:00:41] Hi, I'm J. Rosemarie your personal, confident and mentor. I invite you to connect with me and take the first step towards transforming your life. Together, we can work to find solutions to your ongoing challenges. [00:00:56] And create a life you desire for yourself and your children. [00:01:00] I no, this is not about fixing. This is about us working together. To achieve your goals. So, if you're ready to take the next step to empower yourself, to transform your life, click the link below. And sign up for a free consultation call with me. [00:01:20] I look forward to hearing from you and helping you on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.

Don't Parent in Silence

Hello Solo Moms. As a solo mom of three adult sons, I understand the challenges you face on a daily basis. As a mentor, my mission is to help you shift your mindset and empower you to take control of your life, to see yourself as God sees you. I know that unresolved trauma can be a heavy burden to carry and parenting alone can be a lonely journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have the strength and resilience to overcome your challenges and create the life you desire. Speaker 1: 0:41 I want to help you to make the effort to tackle unresolved trauma and change your perspective so you can live the life you deserve. I offer complimentary consultation where we can discuss how to move forward, create a plan to help you heal and empower you. You can schedule a consultation by emailing me at jen@jrosemarie.com or by calling + 1-917-994-1329 (WhatsApp), or schedule a consultation with the link below. I am here for you and I want to help you take the first step toward healing and empowerment. Don't let unresolved trauma hold you back any longer. Don't parent in silence. Take action today and let's work together to empower you to live the life you desire. Thank you.

J. Rosemarie

Host

00:00

Tired, weary, frustrated. What would you be doing if you weren't raising children alone? What's stopping you from living your best life? Now, on Solar Mom's talk, I discuss with Solar Mothers the challenges you face raising children alone. So if you're a working Solar Mom dealing with independent children, insensitive bosses, weight and health issues or even debt collectors, join us as we discover your path to get and stay healthy, increase your income and live with joy and purpose.

J. Rosemarie

Host

01:02

My guest today is Nicole Gebay, author of the best-selling book the Art of Organizing an artful guide to an organized life. Nicole is a professional organizer whose specialty is creating order out of chaos. Wow, I love it. Welcome, nicole.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

01:22

Thank you, jay, rose Marie. Thank you, yes, for sure.

J. Rosemarie

Host

01:27

Definitely. Before I ask you to explain yourself, could you please tell us who is Nicole?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

01:38

Yes, I love that question. So many facets to me. I would say, first and foremost, I'm a Peruvian-American daughter of my dad was French, peruvian, my mother's American, and I speak three languages. By the time I was seven we had lived on three continents, so I became fluent in French, spanish and English very young and even though that sounds interesting or fascinating, glamorous or something, there was a lot of chaos in my life when I was growing up, living in different countries, adapting. So I craved the calm in the chaos and I went to a school in Paris it's Montessori school, and in Montessori we learn order. Everything has cubbies, everything has a place. There's little sections in the room for everything and I just gravitated to that. So at this time I feel very grateful. I'm an artist, I'm a creative, I'm a writer, I'm also a professional organizer and my specialty is homes and offices. I also work with children, work with older people as well, and I'm a very resilient person and spiritual. So I think that's me in a nutshell.

J. Rosemarie

Host

02:58

Yes, big nutshell, thank you. It's very interesting that you said that you are an artist but you also crave being organized, because I actually thought it was the opposite. Like, usually it's the analytical people who are organized and the artists thrive in chaos. But wow, that's interesting. Okay, so I always like to dig into why people choose what they choose to do. Yes, and you've hinted on some of the chaos in your family. What was it like growing up and having to travel around? Lots of people do it, but it doesn't affect everybody the same way.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

03:49

Right? Well, I wanted to address what you mentioned about being an artist and wanting order, and that's what I try to explain to people. I work with a lot of creative people and my whole point of view is, if you have an order, organized space, you can be more creative. You have more space in your mind, in your physical space. So how I became both. I think I'm ambidextrous, so I like to say I use the left and the right brain, so that's my theory.

04:22

But growing up like that, I think in the beginning I didn't know anything different, so I just adapted. It's like, okay time to learn French, okay time to learn Spanish, all right, now it's time for English, and then just catch on to the local customs. And I was very young so it kind of shaped me and it was. There was a calm in the chaos for me. I was very lucky. We had a nanny that was very organized and very calming and very loving and she took care of my sister and me. So I almost felt like I was watching chaos around me, but being with her kept me grounded.

J. Rosemarie

Host

05:07

Makes sense. Okay, thank you. So the other day I wrote an article about the mindset and staying organized, and you may not know this yet, but um Solar mums Thrive amongst chaos, in the midst of chaos, but it's not a very healthy thing For us. Can you explain why Chaos is not good for the mind?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

05:38

It's not. You know there's there's all the psychology behind that. I really work with the practical space, so Once someone calls me, it's like, yes, they've had enough of the chaos. You know, they hobble along or they struggle through it and I I would really be curious to see if that's something they're thriving in or they surviving in, and and my role is really to come in and let's simplify it, let's create systems so that mom has An orderly start to the day and a flow through for the whole day and then the kids have that and I see the difference. I know kids crave order. They are taught that from the very beginning, in kindergarten, preschool. You know everything is orderly. There's their name and that's their cubby and this is where they take a nap and here is where we play, and so Kids have that as their foundation and it's just a matter of the repetition when they get home.

J. Rosemarie

Host

06:46

Yeah, yeah, and I I think I agree with you when you said it's not that we Thrive in the chaos, is that we survive in the chaos. Because, well, what else are we going to do Exactly until we're organized?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

07:01

right.

J. Rosemarie

Host

07:04

Okay, so tell us how you help your clients stay organized.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

07:11

So on the mom perspective because I've also worked with children directly, so there's kind of both ways of looking at it For moms and adults in general I have a six-step process that I actually wrote about in a book Then I've used for 23 years and I repeated it over and over. So and people would come to me and ask me oh, can you do a talk on that, those principles on that subject? So I help people get organized by first really it Can considering principles of organizing. You know there's two things. We have decluttering, but then there's organizing. So they are different and cluttering is like it's a, it's a must. You know it goes without saying before we do anything we're gonna declutter, get rid of the obvious stuff.

08:01

So I start with that premise and then the next step is what I call sectional organizing. So in each room we usually have multiple things happening in one room, whether it's the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen. So I encourage people to divide the room into sections. Over this section in the living room You're gonna watch TV. This section is where you're gonna sit and read with your kids. This section is where you'll be able to do the artwork you know, and this section is where maybe your pet has the doggy bed and all the toys. So once we divide a room up like that, instead of this whole room is where everything happens, because that's more chaotic. So in this case you divide it up into sections, and then I use a system, a Principle that I call the zone principle, and with zones people use it differently, but what I use it as is a way of prioritizing each section.

08:58

So say, you're in your living room and you're going to be in your maybe you have your kids desk. So a little school, a little work section for the kids, you know the little homework area. So now you've narrowed it down to that section and so what do you put in there? Well, when you talk about zones, I say zone one is the items they use the most frequently. Whatever those things are, you use them every day. You want it at your fingertips. Zone two might be and that could be the desktop. Zone two will be maybe drawers underneath the desk. Zone three might be a little bookcase behind you. So that way we prioritize and importance what you have in your space, because you can't have everything all around you at all times.

09:42

Mm-hmm and that is what adds to chaos. So that's the next, you know the second most important thing. And Then, once we decide what we're keeping, the next thing I do is storage solutions. So you evaluate what do you have? What does your child best gravitate to? Do you like drawers? Do you like boxes? You want clear drawers with kids when they're younger, especially because they can see what they're putting away. So you start to think of the storage solutions and then you go buy the containers. That's what I call containerized. So that's kind of the broad based brushstrokes, as I I'm an artist, so I do refer to things in a you know broad brushstrokes, what's you know. That's kind of my orientation. So with moms and adults, I start another process of information management how you manage information that comes at you all day long, how you store it, how you retrieve it, creating systems. And then the next thing is portability, which is taking all your information with you that you need at your fingertips, taking it with you on the road For carpool or errands, whatever it is, taking what you need with you. And then the last thing is called back to one and that is from.

11:04

I worked in TV production for ten years at Nickelodeon and MTV and commercial production, and we always on a set. The set is organized in such a way and that everyone would have weighed in the director, the producer, the Lighting, the camera person, art director, everyone weighs in on this is how we want the set to look in this scene. So then all the actors come in. The director says we're rolling and they move around. They move everything. You know they're doing their scene and everything gets Spread everywhere. Oh, okay, well, then suddenly something went wrong with the lighting or there was an airplane that came across.

11:44

So, okay, cut. All. Right, everybody, let's take a moment. Okay, everyone back to one. So everything that was in that set and that Particular scene gets put back to that original starting place, the baseline that everyone decided was gonna work. And that's what I recommend at home Find your back to one in every room and that's your, that's your baseline. You're gonna live life, it's all gonna come apart, but you know what back to one is. So I Suggest 15 minutes at the end of a day, get your rooms back to one, get your kitchen back to one, and or you're gonna spend some time on Saturday. It'll take a few hours, but back to one is really important.

J. Rosemarie

Host

12:27

I do like that as well. I like the zoning where. Yeah, because when you have kids, you can always have the owner of that zone take care of their zone. Right, I actually do like that. Yeah, thank you. But what is wrong with you? Know, I can find, I know where everything is.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

12:51

I love it when people tell me that and they're looking at piles and stacks of things. They're like I know the schedule for her soccer is in there, so I'm good. But you know what? It never works that way. It doesn't.

13:06

And systems is about simplifying. Systems is about streamlining what you've got and what you can see. You know your visual field is the most important thing. How do you find it at your fingertips? So when it's in chaos like that, you really can't find it. I know we like to think we can manage because, yes, if you have kids, you're managing all these small people's world. So I like to really simplify things. If it's schedules, you put it in a clear plastic sleeve with calendars. We put calendars on the wall so everyone knows what you're doing. Yes, I know everyone's going digital and we have family sharing schedules, but the kids need to see that and it helps when you have one big master calendar up and everyone kind of knows who's where, and I encourage that. So, even though we think we know where everything is, it's not healthy, it's not self-care. I think what is about self-care for moms and their families?

J. Rosemarie

Host

14:13

Yes, yes, good, yeah. Another guest suggests the family visual and color coding everything. And, yes, I do like a lot of things. My guests say, yeah, yeah, thank you. So what is Nicole grateful for today?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

14:31

Oh boy, I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me and when I'm organized and my space is clear, I can relax. I live near the ocean, so I'm very grateful for that and taking long walks and just being able to create and really clearing my space so that I can be more creative, and I'm grateful that I have that skill. I think it's something people can learn. I don't think you're born with it. I like that. In my time working in a corporate environment I learned about systems and unless you work really in that environment, you don't see systems and how they play out and how all the systems are related. So I'm just so grateful I have that opportunity to work in that corporate environment, learn what systems are and how they function and how it helps your space and helps you be productive, and I'm grateful for that that lightness of being that it provides.

J. Rosemarie

Host

15:32

Yes, yes, definitely. You mentioned before about staying organized and carrying stuff with you. I've been traveling for the past two years like just traveling and I have a backpack. My niece laughs at me and says you always carry that thing around. And I said to him if I lose everything, but what's in this backpack?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

15:54

I'm good. So that's I mean, that's important. Yeah, obviously, I would say your zone one items are in your backpack. Yes, so those are your key things most important to you. So when I talk about portability, which is essentially what you're referring to, we look at, first of all, all the information that comes at you all day long. I like to keep things in a notebook. I call it the halfway book. Mine is portable size. It's a, you know, like a seven by nine inch little notebook. The key is it has tabbed sections, and the reason for that is so that I store information for retrieval.

J. Rosemarie

Host

16:36

Yes.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

16:37

It's my category and that's key because I see people that tell me oh look, I have a spiral notebook and you know I can't find a thing, but I know it's in there. But does it really help you? Because really you're saying I know I wrote it on the right hand side top corner, it's in my red pen, hold on, let me flip through you know a hundred pages because I know it's in here. It's so much easier if you can go back by category. So portability is how do you, how do you create your calendar, how do you manage your time and how do you carry information with you? So that halfway book is important because I also think of it as it's halfway between a random thought, a note you just needed to jot down somewhere, and then, if it's really important, it becomes a file folder, it becomes a notebook. Then it's something more substantial.

17:29

But, many times. We gather information all day long and I can see that when I see people's post-its everywhere, and this particular halfway book for me is the solution to what I call Little Paper Syndrome. So it is a holding place for all your little papers and the key is that they're in categories.

J. Rosemarie

Host

17:51

Yes love it, love it. Okay, so how can we get in touch with you?

Nicole Gabai

Guest

17:56

So you can go to my website. My Website is be the letter, be like boy hyphen, organized, org a, and I see E D dot net, the dash organized net. Or you can follow me on Instagram. I post regularly ideas on organizing tips and Containers that I find. I love gadgets, so I'm always posting things about that and that's at Nicole Gabay, just okay.

J. Rosemarie

Host

18:20

Oh yeah, oh cool yeah, and I put those links in the show notes so people can have them and I just want to also share with you about my book.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

18:30

Okay, cool, my book is the art of organizing.

J. Rosemarie

Host

18:33

I'm realizing that's pretty too.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

18:35

Thank you, I illustrated it. There's over 80 illustrations and that's something that I was very passionate about, because kids are drawn to this book. I've seen kids eight, nine, ten. They love the drawings and it's a cool. So, anyway, they can find it on Amazon or anywhere that retail books are sold your favorite you know Local bookstore or a Barnes Noble, but it's definitely. I've seen kids love this. It's all colorful, it's color-coded. Yeah, it pertains to the color wheel in in, you know, our art foundation, so I see a lot of kids being drawn to that.

J. Rosemarie

Host

19:17

Yeah, and it's really good that you've combined your love of art with your love of organizing.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

19:22

Amazing, yeah, cool yeah. I'm so grateful for that that I was bring it, bring both of those in yes, definitely, all right.

J. Rosemarie

Host

19:31

So this is the solar mom's show. So give us one or two tips for solar mom and chaos. Oh, Right.

Nicole Gabai

Guest

19:43

So I've been thinking about this because I think it's a great question and there's I could answer. You know I could talk to you for hours, but you want one or two tips. One thing is, depending on the age of your child probably up until Maybe nine years old is declutter without them, but you have to do it regularly, so maybe it's every six months or beginning of the school year and then halfway through the school year, and moms have to do that for their kid. You know kids don't know what that means, but if you show that and bring containers in that they can follow and use, I am a big fan of labels. Make labels Everywhere and get a label maker and clear drawers to put things away, whether it's the toys, the Legos, the you know markers and crayons everything in a clear drawer is wonderful.

20:32

Yes, and then, and that's about modeling good habits, and I would also say I love this thing I've just seen it's called a chore chart. So making sure that you have a routine and kids know you start your day, making your bed, and that's like sets the tone and that's important, because there's a saying I've heard messy bed, messy head. That's like a good start for everyone. And then I've been seeing these things called chore charts and they're really cute. It's not like the old spin wheel that we used to make when I was a kid. This one is like, you know, it's plastic or whatever it's material and it you check off each chore as it's completed. And kids do crave structure. I mean, yeah, so Any way that moms can find a way to structure the environment, the routine, kids do thrive in that type of environment.

J. Rosemarie

Host

21:27

Yeah, thank you. I Appreciate you coming and talking to us today. I I'm so glad that I caught you. Didn't want to lose your toss. I'm really glad I caught you. Thank you so much for having me. Sure, yeah, for sure, thank you.