Your child is melting down. You calmly say, “Take a breath.” And somehow…that makes everything worse.

In this episode, Caley explains why asking a child to regulate when they’re already overwhelmed can actually add fuel to the fire—and what to do instead. Using Dr. Bruce Perry’s Regulate, Relate, Reason framework, she shares practical ways to regulate yourself first, avoid co-escalation, and help your child move through big emotions before trying to reason or problem-solve.

Plus, download Caley’s free Parent Calming Strategies poster for simple tools to use when things get heated.