Do you find yourself dreaming about escaping the rat race of a high-stress corporate life to find freedom and a better life? Allan Misner shares his transformative journey of being dissatisfied as a C-suite executive at 39. He faced multiple challenges - being overweight and stuck in toxic relationships despite his career success. When his daughter invited him to watch her do CrossFit, he decided to take action. Then, being laid off from his corporate job became an opportunity instead of a burden, as he was able to focus on his podcast and online coaching.

Allen was committed to his routine – he started exercising daily, became a certified personal trainer and got rid of excess body fat. He was able to train for and run with his daughter in a Tough Mudder race, which strengthened their relationship and underlined the value of having someone for accountability. Some of the things that Allan has been through are evidence of how important it is to be healthy and fit to be able to provide for his family and also be independent as we age. Allen and his family are now enjoying their stress free life, being healthier and having healthy relations on a Caribbean island - making it worth all the struggle that he has gone through.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Achieve a greater sense of self-efficacy and motivation through proven strategies.
• Overcome midlife health and fitness challenges with tested techniques and insights.
• Transform your life through fitness and nutrition for lasting results.
• Discover the benefits of a minimalist lifestyle in the Caribbean for improved well-being.
• Learn how mindset goes hand-in-hand with movement and nutrition for a healthy lifestyle.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:17:47 - Fit for Task Philosophy

00:24:20 - Overcoming Obstacles

00:26:45 - Committing to Change

00:32:26 - Impact of Health Choices

00:34:56 - The Role of Self-Efficacy

00:43:25 - Overcoming Temptations and Creating Friction

00:45:18 - Building Consistent Habits & Fixing Your Mindset 

Connect with Allan Misner

Website

https://40plusfitness.com

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachallan/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/coachallanm

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/allan.misner.CPT

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

And this week I'm joined by Allan Misner.

And Allan has an amazing story of looking at where you're at going.

This is not where I want to be.

And then setting about on a course, a path to change things.

And just the fact that.

You know, he's not sold into that mindset of I'm here.

This is what I'm stuck with.

It's, you know, just the lot in life that I have.

He took action and you're going to see that that is something you

and I can do in our lives as well.

So Allan is a nutrition and fitness coach.

He's been doing it for a number of years here.

He looked and around and saw that, Hey, this is a gap.

There's not people talking about this for like where I'm at in life.

Let me see if I can help people along the way.

And that heart has made a huge impact.

So he's an author.

Podcast host, a nutrition and fitness coach.

So he's making an impact and changing the world, not just

his, but the world around him.

So Allan, how are you doing today?

My friend?

I'm doing well, Mike.

How are you?

I'm doing fantastic.

I appreciate you joining me here.

Thank you.

I'm glad to be here.

Um, Allan, let's jump in and what does it look like today on

the professional side of things for you?

Okay.

Well, uh, I did everything you're supposed to do.

Uh, and I ended up a C suite executive of a fortune 500 company at the age of 39.

Uh, and I was completely miserable.

Uh, I, I didn't at the time have the tools or the skills to take care of myself.

So I was overweight, obese, if you will, unfit, unhappy, toxic relationships,

not getting along with my family.

Uh, but I was really good at my job, really, really good at my job.

Uh, and that's all I had.

That's all I had in the world.

Uh, I knew that was wrong.

And I tried.

To fix it.

I spent eight years trying to figure me out and it, it took a conversation

with my daughter to kind of wake me up.

And once I figured that out, I started making the real changes.

Uh, I lost the weight.

I improved my fitness.

I was able to start doing the things I really enjoyed.

I got into a great relationship.

Um, I still love the money and, and, and for a long, long time, I still punish

myself with the stress and the sleep deprivation and the travel and everything

that you do, uh, in the corporate world.

And then one day my name was on a layoff list.

Um, and, and I was like, well, happy as, as odd as that sounds.

I, you know, I've been laying people off my whole corporate career.

Uh, and finally here I was, uh, on that list that I had

never actually been on before.

Um, Even though I tried to put my name on a list earlier, but it didn't take

it, uh, they put it on this one and they laid off my whole department and

outsourced us and I went home and I told my wife what was going to happen

and I said, okay, I'm on the list.

This is it.

My job's over at the end of this year.

Um, I don't want to go back.

And, uh, I had been coaching online for a couple of years, uh,

had started the podcast and has been running that for a few years.

So I, I felt like I had a platform that I could build a business on because it

was, it was a hobby really at that point.

But I think I've got enough going on here.

I can make this business and make this work.

So I said, yeah.

I'm going to do that.

Uh, so I sat down and wrote a book called the wellness roadmap and

kept the podcast growing and started bringing on clients and it was working.

I was, I was happy doing what I was doing.

I was really enjoying it.

And then my wife and I, we were looking at our expenses and

what the business was making.

We're like, okay, this is, this is not.

Actually going to work the way we wanted because when you're self

employed, you don't have someone else buying your insurance.

You don't have other perks that you get.

And so with me paying self employment taxes and then also the cost of

insurance and things are going on.

We're like, this doesn't make sense either.

Uh, so we sold everything we own and we moved to a Caribbean island, which is

really hard to do when you have a job.

Uh, but pretty easy to do when you have a virtual online business.

So, uh, moved myself down to, uh, an island in the Caribbean

off the coast of Panama.

Uh, it's a Caribbean island that does not get hurricanes.

So, uh, there's that.

So from a professional's perspective, uh, we own a bed and breakfast.

That's part of our income.

And then I coach online and that's the rest of it.

Uh, and we're doing quite well.

Uh, I know I don't make the fortune 500.

You know, C suite salary anymore, uh, but I'm a thousand

times healthier and happier.

Yeah.

That's, that's a large switch from the stress and the demand on you to, you

know, there's, there's still demand, but the way it plays out, the way it, you

know, um, Takes from your day to day life and energy, whole different level there.

Yeah.

Well, on the personal side of things, you're not dodging

hurricanes, which is good.

And very good.

Cause the house we owned, uh, it, after we sold it, it got hit by a

hurricane that next season, then.

As they got the repairs about done, it got hit by a tornado and then

another hurricane the next year.

So, um, yeah, not touching hurricanes.

You cashed out at the right time.

I lost some money on that house, but I

saved some money on that house.

Absolutely.

So what is, what does personal life look like for you at this time?

I live on a Caribbean island.

Uh, basically.

The days and nights because we're close to the equator.

They're both about 12 hours each.

Uh, the temperature is somewhere between 70 and 90 degrees every single day.

Uh, we get a good bit of rain.

Uh, there are third world problems.

So, you know, stuff that they do.

That's just like, okay, I don't understand it, but it is what it is.

Um, but in general, it's like, yeah, I do.

I pretty much do what I want to do.

Um, yeah.

And as far as my relationship with my wife, it's so much better because

I'm not coming home stressed.

I'm like, Hey, you know, she made me to pick up something.

I walked to work.

I walk home.

I mean, I don't, I don't even own a car right now.

Um, so I don't even have auto repair story about, uh, or how I'm going to get places.

I can walk anywhere I want to on this island.

Um, we live in a Caribbean style, uh, bed and breakfast.

We have an apartment there.

Um, I have a full gym and what we do.

apartment.

My wife was nice enough to let me move that in there.

So I have the gym that I roll out of bed, get myself some coffee, warm up

a bit, get my workout in, walk to my office, take some client calls, get on

some podcasts with like folks like you.

There's Island life, uh, wildlife where we're near the rainforest.

So, you know, monkeys, sloths, all of that.

It's a real foodie location.

It's a touristy location.

So there's a lot of young people coming through, uh, running a bed and breakfast.

You get to hang out with people from all around the world and

have conversations with them.

Way different pace

way different and you have to slow down.

That's one of the things is Panama won't speed up for you.

So you have to slow down for it or you'll lose your mind,

man.

Yeah.

There's got to be some definite adjustments to, uh, to be in a different

culture and location and everything.

Especially when you're like going full bore, um, you know, here in the

States, but also at, you know, C suite level, it's like things happen now.

So, yeah, well, let's jump back to like, you know, when you were

in that C suite position, what did life look like then that?

Kind of got you to that point where you're like, I'm done things have got to change.

They can't continue the way they are.

And, you know, I mean, we'll make new year's resolutions,

Allan, but those rarely stick.

What was different about this that stuck and became that?

That initial milestone of transformation for you,

I wanted to do something and I've been trying for years.

And so I, I was like, kind of at wit's end of what to do.

And maybe I just even given up if I'm being honest with it.

I, um, I got a phone call from my daughter.

And she was getting into the CrossFit stuff and all that.

So she was, you know, 20 years old and excited.

And, uh, I've, I paid for her to become a CrossFit coach and get her certification.

So she was coaching CrossFit.

She was loving life.

And she, she called me one day and said, Hey daddy, uh, would you come

watch me compete in this CrossFit event?

And I'm thinking to myself, uh,

I'm not supposed to be a spectator in my daughter's life.

I'm supposed to be a participant and what should be happening is

saying, Oh, well, where's this competition and can I sign up?

Uh, but I was in no shape to make that happen.

Um, I did go watch her, not, you know, not that bad a person, but I did want to, uh,

what I wanted to do is be a participant.

So I said, okay, this is This is broken.

This is not how my life is supposed to play out.

It's not how I'm supposed to end.

And so I, um, I made a commitment.

I said, well, what, what's wrong with me?

Why, what, why can I do other hard things and not that?

And the real thing was I had never really committed to this.

And I'm the type of person when I.

Commit to something.

I kind of get a little fanatical about it, maybe a little obsessive.

Um, which is, you know, in the corporate world is awesome.

It's how you get stuff done.

And so I committed to change and then I, I was like looking for

resources, there were no podcasts.

You know, there were, of course, there were CrossFit podcasts and there were

podcasts on biohacking and other stuff.

Um, but there were no over 40 fix yourself podcasts.

Uh, there were no books either.

That was what was sad too.

I'm looking for a book and there's over 50 or whatever.

They're like, okay, now we're gonna do chair yoga.

And stretching.

I'm like, okay, that's not going to, that's not going to get me there either.

So I thought, okay, I travel 90 percent of the time and, uh, in

layman's terms, what that means is I'm home one weekend a month.

So I couldn't like hire a trainer.

And I knew even if I did hire a trainer, it's going to be some 20 year

old at the gym that's going to just pull a workout out of file cabinet

and say, come on, let's do this thing.

And they're either going to pull the old man one out or they're going to

pull, pull the young man one out.

Um, and either way.

It's not going to work, they're going to either break me or they're

not going to get me anything at all.

And it looked silly standing with one foot on a ball and the other trying to do

a one arm, whatever they asked me to do.

So I decided I needed to become my own trainer and that's why

I went for the certifications.

I was like, okay, what do I need?

I need to know how to do this.

So I became a certified personal trainer.

I said, okay, now my, I can tell my movement patterns are all screwed up.

Corrective exercise.

Okay.

I'm not eating right.

So I.

Went for fitness nutrition, realized that was not necessarily all I needed.

So I set an appointment with a, um, a dietitian, one appointment

just said, okay, I want to just talk to you about nutrition.

Just, I want the basics.

Tell me the basics of what I need to know.

She introduced me to the paleo diet.

It's a diet.

I tried it and it was working.

Um, and so I did manage to lose 66 pounds of fat.

And gain 11 pounds of muscle.

And then, yes, I did a Tough Mudder with my daughter 11 months after

she had asked me to come watch her at a CrossFit competition.

Um, so that was, that was fairly significant.

And, of course, you can't, you can't do that kind of thing without someone asking,

you know, for instance, Dude, what's up?

How?

What?

Tell me.

Help me.

Uh, so I thought, okay, you know, there really isn't anybody

doing this and there should be.

And so I started the podcast, uh, and I did train that friend.

I told him, I said, look, can you get your wife involved?

I'll do it for free.

I'll train both of you, but I want to record our sessions,

our online training sessions.

Cause I didn't live in the same city, so I want to train her on

video, audio, record our sessions and then use that for my podcast.

And so if you actually go back to the oldest episodes, you're going to see,

I trained a woman, uh, I think her name was Susan for a little while.

Then she quit on me and then I ended up training John and Tammy.

Um, and so John lost like 39 pounds.

In 10 weeks and Tammy lost like 28 and that it's all recorded.

It's all right there in those podcast episodes.

And so I kind of felt like now I had a proven model.

So I started training some people online and was relatively successful, but it was

just a hobby, it was just a side thing.

Uh, I really wasn't worried about it making money.

I just said, I'll, I'll set this up as a hobby that can make money.

And then when I retire in five years or so.

Cause I figured I'd retire at 55, then I'll, I'll go ahead and do this.

Um, and then the company decided to put me on the list and now I do this.

. Mike Forrester: Yeah.

It's one of those of sometimes things are out of our control.

But it's how do we bounce back from that?

And I know for you, it was like you were sharing that,

you know, you were tapped out.

That was a good thing for you.

Um, a lot of guys, when you lose that job, it's almost like your

identity is lost as well, right?

You've been that corporate executive or whatever position you're coming out of.

Now you don't have a role.

You don't have a position.

How did you figure out like, I'm Allan Misner.

I now do this and continue on without going into a slump, without, you

know, kind of wandering like many people do when we've, you know,

when we're laid off or fired?

Well, I, I have to credit my grandfather.

Um, and not necessarily that he gave me the wise words, but he

showed me what I didn't want.

Um, okay.

My grandfather, my grandfather, uh, was, he loved golf.

Like, I mean, like.

With a passion golf was his thing.

And he was in sales.

And back then sales was done on a golf course.

You know, he's always taking the clients out for golf and it was

in the, like the tools and stuff.

So it was big sales, but so he's, he's golfing every day.

He's loving golf.

Now at about the age of 80, I was visiting.

Cause I'd go visit once a year and I'd see family, uh, usually about noon we'd have

lunch and then they would all go golf.

And then I would go see the other family members.

Well, he was around 80 and.

I went to, I went to see him and I was, he was, we were on the golf cart and

normally this was where he'd take me to my car, drop me off and then they'd go golf.

Well, he didn't go golfing.

So I asked him, well, you know, grandpa, what's going on?

He said, I can't do it anymore.

I don't have the balance.

I don't have the strength.

I just, I can't swing the club.

And I asked him, well, you just want to go hit some balls and we'll work on it.

And he's like, no, no, I can't, I can't do it.

I'm like, so he.

Put his clubs away.

He was done.

Now, a lot of people say, well, you're 80 or retired.

That's the way life's supposed to go, right?

We lose stuff.

We're always going to lose something.

So, but he lived till he was 95.

So the last 15 years of his life, he didn't get to do the thing he

loved the most on this planet.

Now you flash forward to when he was 90.

Again, I'm still visiting him every year, so I still see him.

He's 90 years old.

He lives in this little apartment.

They have a care staff nearby, so he can call them if he needs them, um, and

they check in on him from time to time.

Well, he can't make it from his chair to the bathroom, so when he realizes he

has to go, he's not going to make it.

And he has to call them to clean him up because he can't do that either.

And so he didn't want anyone else in his apartment or any visits.

He wouldn't leave his apartment and that was the last five years of his life.

I didn't even get to see him.

So the way I kind of teach this is like, okay, I want to be able

to wipe my own butt when I'm 105.

Okay, I want to have a full life to be able to do the things I want to do.

If my health was as poor as it would have been, I can't even imagine

the things I would miss, but I probably would not be on this island.

Because my health would not allow me to be here, you know, I had to be within

a certain distance of a, of a good hospital to hope they could keep me alive.

Um, so it's provided me freedom to be who I want to be.

And so the concept I use, I call fit for task, meaning rather you're

a father, a grandfather, a husband, whoever you are, whoever you need to be.

We don't do this stuff, you know, get ourselves healthy, lift weights.

Build stamina, do those things just to have a sexy 70 year old body.

We do it so we can be who we need to be for the people around us.

So if like here I am on an island, if my wife were to take a fall or something

happened to her, I would need to be able to pick her up and drag her or

carry her out to her car, put her in her car and drive to the hospital.

It's two miles away.

There's no ambulance here.

So there's certain things I know that are on me.

Um, I've done things, like I said, I wanted to be a participant in

my daughter's life and I did a Tough Mudder with her, which

is a very hard thing to do.

Uh, I got myself ready for that.

And when my grandkids come about, because it's not quite Christmas yet,

That time the girls just got married a couple of years ago, they haven't

started that process, but when they do, I'm going to be a participant.

I'm going to be on the floor with them.

I'm going to be running around the zoo with them.

I'm not going to be someone sitting on a bench or in a rocking chair watching

them live their lives in front of me.

That's not who I am.

And so as you're looking at these changes, yes, things are going to

happen that are outside your control.

But the stronger you are, the more fit you are, the healthier you are, the

more resilient you're going to be, and the more options you're going to have.

And so, as you're looking at changing, and you're looking at the changes that

are happening, what you can control is what you do with your own body.

So if you're eating better, and you're moving better, and you're feeling better,

you're able to handle those other things so much better because you know everything

that you can control is controlled.

And then you live your life and, you know, from a, from a, not just an end

of life thing, but think about it.

I mean, if you're having to spend every penny, you just made killing yourself

in corporate for how many years just to keep yourself alive, because,

you know, even with good insurance, you're still going to have expenses.

If I'm not spending that money, I get to keep it, you know, so if

something happens and you, you know, your life is turned on its ear,

maybe like me, that was a blessing.

And you can count it as a blessing and you can find something better,

something new, something different.

If, as you look back at the time in corporate Allen, it's

like, you're making sacrifices with your time, obviously, but a lot of us

are making Sacrifices with our health, you know, like our physical health, do

you see, like, if you had focused, you know, instead of it being like your

daughter being the catalyst to get you moving, if you had, um, kind of taken

that, that step earlier, do you see that?

It would have had an impact on how you were able to show up at work or at home

or, you know, just in life in general.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny.

I was, I was talking to another personal trainer.

He, he trains older professional guys and he's real fit.

He's always been super, super fit.

And he's a great coach, don't get me wrong, but I was explaining to

him, I was asking him if he had ever considered like little things that

would like really kind of gnaw at us.

So there's these little springy button things that when you're wearing a dress

shirt, it's got a spring like hoop and you get around the button and you

use the other button in the buttonhole because you, You now can't button that

shirt and now you can pull your tie up tight and you could cover that up.

That was my lifestyle.

You know, that was waking up in the morning and realizing that my size 18

neck, uh, and not because I was a really good football player at that age, but

because I was, I was that big, my 18 inch neck no longer fit in my 18 inch shirt.

Um, so obviously I didn't have an 18 inch neck anymore.

Um, so I learned about those little springy button things.

I learned about how to tie my tie and get it up tight enough to the

top that it didn't show that my top button was not buttoned on my shirt.

Um, Those are just things you learn.

Cause it was like, and I had suits, I had suits from 36 to

46 in my, in my, in my closet.

So I own like 30 or 40 suits.

It was insane.

Like someone would look at my closet.

So like, look at all these suits.

I'm like, yeah, but I can only wear one of them.

Uh, you know, cause I'm on the top end today.

Uh, there's those things.

And you're like, okay, so there's all the things we're doing to mask.

What's really going on.

And so, yeah, if I had been able to at like age 39, when I realized

I had a problem, if I had taken that opportunity and done the

thing, then it would have been a thousand times easier than doing it.

In my mid to late forties and it, it would have been a situation where now

I wouldn't have 40 suits in my closet.

I would have had a couple because I would have known what

to do and I've been doing it.

Um, but I didn't.

So again, I hear I was years later in worse shape and, um, I had to climb

from a pretty deep hole at that point.

So how

did you begin that journey of getting out of that

hole that you found yourself in?

Because it's like you talked about, um, you know, paleo and

then being able to do like a, a Tough Mudder and losing 66 pounds.

It will from start to finish of the conversation with my daughter.

That was the trigger event.

Um, it was 11 months because what I did was I, I started the process with that

because I sat down and said, okay, look, Allan, you've done hard things before.

You don't do what you've done and Seeing the things you've seen without being

able to do hard things, why would be, why is getting healthy and fit harder?

And I was like, it can't be, it isn't.

What's different is the way I've approached it.

I never really committed.

I never really said, okay, this is, this is an absolute, there is no fail.

You know, I never burned the boats, if you will, to just say there is no going back.

This is what's going to happen.

Um, so the first step was, yeah, starting that education process,

trying to figure out a few things.

Um, stop doing stupid things like, you know, the drinking and

the, you know, not moving around.

It's like, at least do something.

And so I started moving, started drinking, you know, eating

better, a little bit better.

I didn't know what I was doing for the first bit, but then, yeah,

sit down and I'm starting to get certified and figure things out.

I'm starting to move a little bit more.

I'm starting the process and then, well, I recognized just in myself

that I'm, I'm someone who really thrives in a challenge environment.

That's why I was who I was.

Uh, so I said, okay, I'm going to sign up for this Tough Mudder.

Now we've talked Tough Mudders.

If you don't know what that is, it's like a 12 to 13 mile run.

Now it's in the kind of terrain that makes it very, very difficult to travel.

This is where ATVs and Jeeps go to sink.

Um, you know, so this is, this is tough stuff.

Then they throw in, uh, 25 obstacles just to make it more fun.

Um, so it's really grueling.

And I didn't, when I, when I started decided that that was the challenge

that I needed to really fire myself up.

Um, I called my daughter and I said, Hey, how about we do a Tough Mudder?

They've got one in November in Tampa.

And she's like, really?

I'm like, yeah, let's do it.

And she said, sure.

So I bought the tickets.

I bought the airline tickets, set up the hotel room, had everything booked.

Okay.

So now I had this, uh, this intense, uh, Pressure, you know,

accountability from my daughter.

I couldn't let her down.

Uh, I had already signed up and sunk money into all of this stuff.

And I said, okay, for me to be able to do this.

And I don't want to just show up, you know, again, do this.

I want to keep my daughter's pace.

I don't want her to have to feel like, you know, yeah.

She has to stay back with me and I don't want to tell her, okay, no, no, go ahead.

I'll finish on my own.

I didn't want either of those two circumstances to happen.

So I said, okay, what I've got to do is really kind of almost insane.

Uh, now the, the advantage I had was there was nothing else.

But that, I mean, I had my job and I was, like I said, really good at it.

So there were hours that I was there and, and I had to work around what

I was doing from a job perspective, but the rest of my days and

nights, there was nothing but that.

I mean, so, uh, I was able to sprint, if you will, through this.

My, my pace was just, okay, this is two a day workouts.

Eating this way, even if I'm in a hotel, I started doing the, okay, I'm not going

to eat at the hotel bar, regardless, I will not sit at the hard hotel bar.

I will go and find another restaurant and I'll eat there and I'll look

at the menu before I leave and pre decide what I'm going to eat.

I completely cut out the alcohol.

I said, okay, from a movement perspective, I'm going to get up

in the morning and do something.

And then in the evening, when I get back, I'm going to do something.

So I was working out twice a day, at least.

Um, And because of what I was learning as a certified personal trainer, I was

able to basically put together a program that's that really started working.

So I got stronger, put on some muscle, but I lost a ton of fat.

Uh, paleo ended up being something else for me.

As I started changing the foods that I selected, I actually

ended up in ketosis, had no idea what that was until it happened.

And then I was like, okay, I can, I can manage this.

And like I said, it worked.

I went from basically, I think I, cause I sat in a DEXA scan.

When I went to the nutritionist, I was sitting at something like 47

percent body fat, which basically means half of my body was fat.

Okay.

And, and then when I got through and I finished the Tough Mudder,

I went back, I was at 19.

Okay.

And so, yeah, if you go to my website and you go look at, at the about me

page on, on the 40plusfitness.com, you'll see the difference.

The difference of when I was overweight and pudgy and flubby and

I mean like a beached whale cause I was on the beach to finishing the

Tough Mudder and that image with my daughter when we finished together.

Now the payback, the payback is really where all of this comes from.

And so if you think about it, like what happened, um, I remember when my daughter

was born and, um, when she was born, uh, she was born OP, which means face up.

So it's technically a breach, but not breach.

So they had to use forceps to help her out.

And when she came out, she was a little startled.

So she didn't do well on the aptitude test that the thing may

give them when they first come out.

So the doctor said, that's normal.

The forceps kind of disorient them.

So, Give her a second and then we'll give it to her again.

So I went over to the table and I was standing there and, and she put,

I put my finger out and she wrapped her, her hand around my finger.

Okay.

Um, I was 25 years old when that happened.

Okay.

Um, flash forward to this tough mutter and she and I are coming

up on the laps last obstacle.

And the last obstacle was a mud puddle.

And so it's like, it's all lumpy in there.

So you can't just run straight through it.

And then they have electrical wires, electrodes hanging down.

And so as we're coming up, you could see a guy running at it.

And as soon as he got in there, he got hit and he went face down in the mud.

And I guess instinctually tried to get right back up and

got hit again and was down.

So he crawled out, um, yours, you've got about 20 guys, 20, 30 guys stand in there

just looking at this thing in utter fear.

They don't know what to do.

They just watched this guy or maybe even more than one guy get zapped and put

on their face and they're like, how?

Am I going to do this?

My daughter and I were running up to him and I, and she

says, what do you want to do?

What do you want to do?

I says, okay, you run around the left.

I'll run around the right.

We'll just go straight on in.

And she's like, we're not going to wait.

I'm like, no, we're not going to wait because we were, this was

the next to the last obstacle.

I mean, this is right there.

And I knew people could see us.

I mean, not that that was in my head, but I'm like, just, just run.

We're going to finish this thing.

So she goes around the left, I go around the right.

And as soon as we come back together, I grab her hand.

And we go through.

Now we got hit, but we didn't go down.

We finished that and we finished the race holding hands.

Okay, little tip for the kids at home.

If two people are holding hands, they displace the electricity

and it's not as effective.

damaging as it would be if there was just one person.

So by grabbing her hand, I was displacing some of the electricity.

And I knew that would probably help us to get through this thing.

I wasn't certain, but it did work.

So if you find yourself in a situation where you have the potential of getting

hit with electricity, like in a Tough Mudder, hold someone else's hand.

They won't like it, but.

It won't hurt as bad anyway.

So we finished the race holding hands.

So that's the second event in my life.

And then the third was about two years ago, walking her down

the aisle when she got married.

Now, here's what I know.

If I had not done what I did when I was in my mid forties and she said that thing

to me, daddy, come watch me do CrossFit.

Um, I don't think those other two ever would have happened.

I might not have even been alive at the age of 53, 55 or 56 when she

got married, that, I mean, I don't even know that I'd still be there 10

years later for, for that to happen.

So you know, there's so many things in front of you that we don't even know, but

if we're not alive for it or not capable of doing it, then we still won't know.

And so just recognize that as you go through your life and you're

thinking about what you want.

Just be ready for it because what you want is magic when it happens,

but it's not, it's not an accident.

If you're doing the right things, you'll find yourself in the right place

and you'll have the right memories and you'll have the joy that that's

what this whole mission called life is about is having joy and giving joy.

Sounds like you're saying to choose our.

Our pain our hurt.

Allen is we can either face the climb out of what we've gotten ourself into

now for the opportunity to have those events later, or we can choose to

avoid the pain and potentially have regrets, not be able to participate or.

Potentially not even be around for those events down the road.

Yeah, and here's, here's the, here's the coolest thing.

I want you to think about this.

Okay.

The human body is the most amazing gift that you've ever been given because the

human body is effectively a machine we live inside of that can heal itself.

That if we do the right things, it can actually improve itself.

There's not another machine like that.

Anywhere that a machine that can actually get better if you give it the right

things, but human body can do that So if we just start treating our body the

way it needs to be treated That gift is right there before us because your

body will heal and it will get better

Yeah, that's the amazing thing.

I think as long as you make that investment um, you're gonna see those

results and that's something you and I had talked before Um, we began the

interview here And that's something for like four years, you know, I've been

investigating supplements and had gotten to the point with like my left hand, the

tremors, I couldn't even do yoga without it being at the point of looking like I

had Parkinson's, you know, and it was.

Okay, let's continue to keep going at it and then finding stuff that does,

you know, begin that healing process.

But if I was who I was before Allan and I gave up super easy, almost like most

of us do new year's resolutions, you know, like, Hey, I, I, I don't, I don't

look ripped three days into going to the gym, you know, um, If I had kept that

mindset and those actions, uh, like you had talked about, I'd be in a worst place,

Allan, but it's that perseverance and continuing to try and it's not a failure.

It's just that didn't work.

Okay, let's find something that does and continuing to work on it.

Is that, is that kind of like what you see with the clients you're working

with and just helping them to be self aware, but also patient with the process?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think, I think we do motivation wrong.

Most of us do motivation wrong.

Okay.

We think motivation is like this magical force.

It's just going to show up, you know, it's like Star Wars,

like the force is with you.

And it's not, you know, and you're like, okay, uh, but it's

not, that's not how it works.

Motivation comes from doing.

Okay.

So there's basically two flavors, if you will, of motivation.

One flavor is called accountability.

Okay.

And there's two layers.

One layer is the leader layer.

So this is where you hire a coach or if you're in corporate, it's boss

says, do something, you do something.

Okay.

But there's a leader level of accountability.

Okay.

And that's easy to, pretty easy to get.

You just.

You hire, hire a coach and the coach helps you stay accountable to your goals and

getting those things done and doing them.

Um, another layer in there is the group.

It's a, what I call social.

So if you join a group, like it could be a spin class at the

gym, it could be a run group.

It could be just people who are.

Cooking together as a group, just to have better quality, healthy foods,

anything you can do with people, they're going to keep you engaged and make you

accountable at a, at a social level.

Now that's all good.

It's, it's easier.

You just join the group and you hire the coach and you've got the accountability,

but that's seldom permanent.

Because you're not going to keep that coach.

You're not going to necessarily keep those same friends for ever.

So which one to move toward is the other flavor, which is called self efficacy.

So self efficacy also has two layers.

The first layer being the leader layer in the leader layer.

You're the CFO or CEO of your own body.

So this is where you say, okay, I don't know why I ate that jelly donut.

I didn't want to eat that jelly donut, but I did.

And so as the CEO of the company, now you want to put a process in

place to keep that from happening.

So this is where the strategies and tactics come in where we say, okay,

uh, I know if I pull into the parking lot at the, uh, Krispy Kreme and

walk in there, I'm going to order.

A jelly donut and I can't go into Dunkin Donuts to get coffee

because I won't just get coffee.

I'll get a jelly donut.

And so what you want to do at that later.

So, okay, now I know that's what I got to do is something that adds friction

to keep me from doing that thing or.

If it's something I want to do, how do I reduce friction?

How do I make this process smoother and easier and better?

So you're now managing self managing yourself.

That's redundant, I guess, but you're self managing to a point where you're helping

make it easier and easier to do the thing.

Okay.

So now you're doing the thing that you need to be doing more often.

And the things you don't need to be doing, you're doing those less often.

And eventually.

These become a habit.

So moving down to the social layer of self efficacy.

Now you have the habits and the values.

So you begin to identify with someone who's different, someone

who does things differently.

A good example at this is would be someone, okay, who starts walking.

They're walking with their friend, they're, you know, they may, they're not

going to get a walking coach, but they're going to, they're going to get out there.

They're going to have a friends and they're going to be walking.

And then they decided to throw a little jog and let's, let's jog to that post.

Let's, and so now they're doing a little jog and then they sign up for the 5k, all

the people at the 5k got them all excited.

And, or they finished the 5k and now they're buying the stuff, you

know, the water bottles and the goo and all the stuff and, and shoes.

And, and now they consider themselves.

A runner because their values and habits all align around running.

I'm getting ready for the next one.

And so no one questions in the morning when the alarm goes up,

that the person gets up and puts on their shoes and goes for a run.

That's what runners do.

Okay.

So now their identity is aligned with who they're supposed to be.

So anytime you want to make a change, the easiest place and the

best place to start is typically with accountability, hire a coach.

If it makes sense, join a group.

You know, peer pressure is a bad thing when it's bad peers.

It's a great thing when it's good peers.

Okay, so find some peer pressure that's going to keep you engaged.

Get that accountability going over here on that self efficacy.

Make it easier.

What's holding you up?

What's making this more difficult?

So maybe it's getting up in the run at morning run in the morning is hard.

So I got to maybe go to sleep a little bit earlier.

So maybe going to bed half an hour early so I can get up and get my run in.

You start doing those runs regularly.

Now you identify as a runner.

So that's kind of the pattern that you want for behavior change that

makes this motivation unlimited.

Because it's never really completely dependent on you and

it's definitely not some magic force that you're just waiting to show up.

Yeah, the way I've had to, um, find success for me was in

setting out my stuff the night before, whether it's, you know, my drinks.

Um, My clothing just even this may, you know, sound kind of weird to

some people is a meal prepping, but I put it in a different fridge.

You know, we've got like a fridge, uh, downstairs, right?

That's, that's just kind of like for drinks and, and overflow.

That's my main place because I don't have the temptation, the draw to,

Oh, Hey, there are those donuts, you know, whatever, whatever is your vice.

It's not there.

It's almost like a safe Harbor, if you will, Allan.

So you've set some friction up to keep you away from

the things that are not serving you.

And then you just make it easier for the things.

I remember, yeah, I had the same thing.

I packed my bag in the morning and I, I worked an hour away

from, from where I lived.

And so I would get there, I'd go to get ready for the gym and

I'd be missing something like a shirt, shorts, maybe socks.

One day it was one shoe.

And like, how on earth do you, how do you not pack both shoes?

How do you have one shoe in the bag and when, and the other one's not.

So I realized I had a problem.

I had to solve this problem of why my bag was not being packed properly.

Um, it, it must've been something subconscious.

I mean, I can't imagine that there was, that that just happened on accident.

So I said, okay, I have to have a list.

I laminated the list, and then I said, each evening, while I'm brushing my teeth,

I pull the list out, and I go line by line, every item on there is in that bag,

put the thing in the bag, take it by the door, set it on the floor, so I have to

step over it on my way to the carport.

From that point forward, I always had a fully packed bag in my truck.

Every single day and I stopped missing workouts and so yeah, as a self

managed me, you have to recognize the problem and then you have to put

something in place to make it happen.

Make it easier.

Um, and that's, that's what I did.

So, uh, and yeah, we had donuts at work, you know, they're always

bringing in these donuts and they were, they were crazy good.

They were called spud nuts.

It was made with potato flour.

So it's like they just had to be the most awful thing I ever put in my

mouth, but it was the most wonderful thing I ever put in my mouth.

So, uh, I would come off the elevator and you could smell it and then

you would see the people in the break room chumming like sharks.

It's spud nuts.

They got spud nuts.

You better get in here.

And so I would immediately like, I knew, okay, solution is to just

dart straight to my office, grab a little bag of nuts that I had.

I had them all bagged up in my, in my desk, grab one of those,

and then I can go get my coffee.

I have to be social because they're all in there.

So I go in there and get my coffee.

I'm sitting there eating the nuts, drinking the coffee.

Fill up again, go back to my desk, and then the rest of the day, that whole

section of the building is now off limits.

If I want to use the bathroom or get coffee, I go to the

next floor to get that.

Bonus, I ended up, uh, getting more steps those days and doing some stairs

because I wasn't going to the break room that was closest to my office.

So, you know, sometimes you have to do, it seems like silly little

things, like, yeah, you know, as soon as I see that, that event, I'm

like, okay, I have to avoid that.

But I don't want to be weird.

So I've got to have a path to live the way, you know, cause you can't

just not go to the break room.

It's a weird guy that goes straight to his office, shuts the door and

won't talk to anybody for a day.

Uh, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't do that.

Uh, so I just found another way to get it done.

So, you know, as you can just look through this, realize that

motivation is something that you earn.

And it's a way you work through things.

And then when you get to the point where you're building that self efficacy of

setting a processes up, then you're ready.

And then over time, that consistency builds the habits and values.

And you didn't think about it anymore.

You just, you know, alarm goes off.

This is what I do.

Same thing.

You make coffee, you brush your teeth.

There's all these automated things that are in our lives.

If we can just make that the way we are about our health and fitness,

it's, it becomes really easy.

Yeah, I love it.

Just building in that like intentionality from the self awareness and.

Putting the most likely stop gaps in place.

That's that's awesome there Allan How can men connect with you outside of the

podcast if they're like a Allan what you've what you've shared about today?

I really need to plug into you.

How can guys connect with you?

Okay, there's a couple different ways Well, of course, I have

my podcast 40 plus fitness Pretty easy.

It's right.

We're listening to this one.

It's there.

I promise.

Uh, you can find that there.

Uh, I have a website, 40plusfitness.

com.

That's four zero P L U S F I T N E S s.

com.

That's the easiest place to go and just find me and connect with me.

Um, as you can tell from a fitness and health coach, you probably didn't expect

me to be talking this much about mindset, but if we're being honest, That's the

only thing standing between you and getting this done, because you basically

probably already know what to do.

You're just not doing it.

So I do coach a lot about mindset.

It's not just the nutrition and what you choose to eat and the

movements that you choose to do.

Those do need to have purpose and get you there.

But we've got to fix ourselves, our brain first, so we can effectively

operate in an environment that is not conducive to being healthy and fit.

Thanks

a lot.

Yeah, totally valuable.

And you don't want to end up at the, uh, the end looking back

and going, I wish I had prepared.

I wish I could.

I guess I, you know, when I talked to my grandfather and I was like,

you want to go hit some balls just to start working on your bAllance.

And he was like, Just so resigned that he had lost this.

I couldn't even ask him again.

It was like, this is now, this is a no, no go zone from a conversation

with my grandfather where we would talk about his golf all the time.

That was all he wanted to talk about to a point where that's not what

he wanted to talk about anymore.

So, um, yeah, you've, you've got a choice.

Your body will respond if we do the right thing.

So make the choice today.

I appreciate it, Allan.

Thank you for directing us to a life of, of choices, not of regrets.

So I thank you, my friend.

Thank you, Mike.

I appreciate it.