Job at risk and no hope, Gideon goes on a journey in VR to forget, but instead finds something unexpected on the Other Side of the Mirror.

Today’s story is the first of two parts of “The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra, who explores the nature of life, love and belonging in his works. You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

Today's story includes a character

remembering a traumatic event from their past

involving a house fire.

You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

and today’s story is the first of two parts of

“The Other Side of the Mirror”

by KiDra, who explores the nature of life,

love and belonging in his works.

You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com

Please enjoy “The Other Side of the Mirror”

by KiDra, Part 1

of 2 It was Friday evening,

the end of the workday and the weekend a godsend.

Coming home, Gideon pressed the button to call the elevator.

Steps echoed in the marble entrance hallway of the apartment building

as a crowd formed in front of the closed cabin doors.

When the doors opened, people flooded the elevator

and pushed Gideon to the back, as if he did not exist.

“Hey, can someone press number 14 for me, please?”

A tenant at the button panel nodded

and selected the right floor.

“Thank you.” The reek of sweat and body fumes built up in the cabin

and Gideon shuffled around,

feeling itchy. Eventually the elevator came to a stop on his floor.

The doors opened,

and he forced his way out.

On his way, he noticed the numbered apartment doors;

lined up in bland rows,

just like the last ten miserable years.

On the way to number 1421,

his muffled footsteps left no trail,

and he wondered if by now the same was true for his life.

As soon as the door was unlocked,

he threw his coat and briefcase onto the couch, with no care for where they landed.

Today, loosening the tie and easing its grip

felt like being taken down from the gallows;

an execution delayed.

On a wall-calendar he wrote

‘Meeting with CEO and Board’

into Tuesday and drew a big circle around it.

Now he would not forget even if he wanted to.

He turned the calendar around.

Monday would be early enough to worry.

This weekend was his.

The bathroom’s cool floor tiles were a welcome sensation

after a day in business shoes.

A splash of cold water to the face washed away the grime and some of the day’s exhaustion.

In the mirror, a man with weary eyes

and a rapidly receding hairline looked back at him.

He looked at himself.

“As long as you’re young at heart, you’re not old.

That’s what they say, right?

What bullshit.” After towel drying his face, he walked into the kitchen,

the same old evening routine kicking in.

When the smell of peppermint filled the air,

tea was ready, and he went to his desk.

The computer booted up in seconds,

the usual five webpages already open in tabs.

There were a few new entries in his watch list,

nothing spectacular.

Likewise, there was no significant news from friends.

The fandom was drifting away;

it was changing and getting younger.

The Fandom had been a welcoming place,

but was that changing, too?

Some posts suggested so.

More often now the older Furries were labeled creeps for being just that:

Older. Maybe, to the Fandom,

Gideon was like a foreign moon falling from the sky.

He felt like a distant satellite;

going around in circles,

rapidly gaining altitude. ‘Maybe

I should get back into drawing....’ he thought,

but instead of pursuing the thought further, he shook his head.

The echo of what he saw in the mirror bounced around in his mind.

Once he was like them;

young and new. No different and grateful for a place to call home;

not to be alone. It was a foolish thought

that being Furry had a date of expiry.

At least someone always pointed it out as absurd, but was that true?

In his mind, Gideon the Fox -

his Fursona - began to look old, too. ‘I

guess we’re both ready for the scrap heap, old friend.’

He thought. The smartphone on his desk buzzed.

It was a message from Spartan: ‘Hey

sly one, you home?

If you got time to spare, call me.

I got my VR headset!’

Gideon smiled. He put on his headset right away and called Spartan on messenger.

“Hey pack leader, what’s up?

So you finally joined the 21st century?”

“Not my fault. It took them long enough to ship it!”

“How are the wife and pups?”

“The puppies are in bed. Listen, Blue told me to take the evening to try out my new headset.

Of course I thought of you.”

Gideon felt appreciated.

“That’s nice of her and

well, nice of you, too.”

“You need to make room for single activities, especially in marriage.

Otherwise couples get sick of each other.

I won’t make that mistake twice.”

“Yeah, I get that. I am glad to see it’s working out between you two.”

“Believe me, if that weren’t the case, then I would not have agreed to having kids.” Spartan said.

“Understandable. So,

what’s the agenda for today?

What do you want to do?

I got into Beat Saber, have you tried that one?”

“Not yet. It’s on my list, though.

For today, I had something different in mind.

There’s this new virtual reality social app.

Maybe you know it?

You can pick an avatar, walk around worlds, meet and talk to people.”

“Um, that’s supposed to be fun?”

Gideon asked. The thought of being sociable, even in a virtual world -

maybe especially in a virtual world - sounded like anything but fun.

“Let’s try it. It’ll be nice to meet you there. You know,

something closer to meeting in person.

Since the wife and I moved places,

I can hardly see you.”

Gideon knew his life alone had left him with a set of ever rusting social skills.

Self-doubt gnawed at his mind.

Over the years he began to believe he could be happy in solitude,

but that started to feel like a lie.

He wondered if there was more to life than the pendulum that swings between work and just enough time to be on the internet.

He had told Spartan about feeling alone.

Maybe his friend wanted to help him open up.

A slow smile built at the thought.

Spartan was a great friend,

and the distraction welcomed.

“Alright, let’s go!”

Registering an account and logging in was a matter of minutes.

He put the VR headset on and while the client started

kept on adjusting the straps.

The first world to load was a place called

‘home’. There was some furniture, a mirror,

and various portals to other worlds.

In the mirror an avatar - a generic robot - was visible.

“Well, how charming…

That must be the default avatar.”

There was a pop-up,

a friend request from a

‘Spartan Wolffang’.

He accepted and Spartan loaded in.

“Hey, Gideon, there you are!”

Gideon turned around and saw another robot.

“So, this way you can visit me, that’s neat.

Somebody already took your name, eh?”

“Heh, just like yours, Mr. Gideon Foxbeans.”

Gideon groaned. “Well…

Okay, what shall we do about our appearance?”

“Over at the mirror are some standard avatars to pick from,

but they are all rather boring.

Let’s head right into exploring and find us some fitting ones?”

“You’re not wasting time,

are you?” “Fair enough, if you want to spend more time looking at your stickman self in the mirror, I can wait.”

Spartan said. “No, no, I am good.

Do you have an idea where to go?”

“A friend recommended me a hub world for Furries.

Sounds like a good place to start, if you ask me.”

“Sounds like too many people, but fair enough.

How do we get there?”

“Let me drop a portal.

Follow me through,

it’ll bring us to that world.”

Spartan was doing something with his hands,

and another portal appeared in Gideon’s home.

As he stepped through,

the world froze. A loading screen appeared

and soon a new world emerged with strangers scattered about in groups,

talking, minding their own business, or just being outright silly.

“There we are. I think the pedestals over there by the wall are avatars.”

Spartan said. Gideon followed Spartan over to a nearby pedestal.

Spartan touched it,

vanished and returned as an anthropomorphic dog.

He looked himself over. “Hm, not what

I was looking

for.” “I don’t know. You are married.

The domesticated version of a wolf kinda suits you.”

Spartan’s avatar gave him a sour look.

“Honestly, foxes are the worst.

Crap everywhere, spread toxocariasis, leptospirosis…”

“Oh, crumbs, I had that when I was little, so I happen to be immune, actually.”

“Best thing - put down a trap lined with newspaper, bit of sausage.”

“Ha! That’s what you think.

Let me tell you something about foxes.

We’re famous for our …

Ohh, is that today’s Metro?”

Gideon pointed. Spartan lost it

and was just laughing for a good while.

“Okay, you win. Your Nelson-impersonations always get me.

Seriously, we really have to watch Mongrels again.”

“But, how did you make that sour face?”

“It’s finger gestures.

I heard most avatars support at least some.

Look at my fingers when I make faces.”

Gideon observed how Spartan’s avatar made all kinds of facial expressions.

An excellent feature, he thought.

He tried to mimic his finger movements with little luck.

“That will need some practice.” “True,

but as long as we have no face tracking, it’s better than nothing.”

Spartan said. They continued to look around

and tried on different avatars.

Spartan found a wolf, one that

he was more or less satisfied with, while Gideon ended up with a fox that was too cartoony.

He saved it. “Well,

better than- hey, my right hand isn’t working.”

Gideon looked at the controller from under his headset.

“Everything ok?” “No, my right controller turned off.

The battery can’t be empty, I charged both yesterday.”

“If you want to look at it, I can go ahead and see if I can find us a nice place to hang out.

In your menu you have a friends list where you can join me again.”

“Thanks, will do. If I can’t make it, then I will send you a message.”

“Sounds good. See you in a bit, hopefully.”

Gideon logged off

and got out of his VR headset.

He looked at the controller that had failed and tried to turn it on again.

Nothing. He took out his set of screwdrivers and opened the controller.

Nothing looked broken,

but he saw a possible cold solder joint and quickly tested it. ‘Hmpf, at least

it’s an easy fix.’ He thought.

He re-heated the joint with a soldering iron,

put the controller back together and turned it on.

It came to life with a familiar beep.

“There we go!” He attached the wrist strap,

lowered the visor

and re-joined Spartan.

Gideon found himself in a recreation of a modern coffee bar

with a tree growing up to a glass ceiling above.

Ebony wood tables

with chairs were loosely spaced around the room,

filled with gathering patrons.

Spartan called him from a railing above.

Gideon ascended the stairs besides the bar counter to a lounge area with more comfortable looking armchairs

and low tables, where he took a seat opposite Spartan.

“That was quick. I see you got it fixed?”

Spartan asked. Gideon waved his right hand.

“Yeah, it was a cold solder joint at the battery. Simple really.” “Heh,

if you say so… By the way, Blue asked me to thank you for helping me fix my kids’ RC car.

You helped me make them happy.”

“Don’t mention it.

You did the work, I just guided you via webcam.”

“How’s work, by the way?” “Hmpf,

meeting with the CEO and board next Tuesday.”

Gideon said. “Trouble up ahead?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really want to think about it.

There’s nothing I can do.” [Short pause]

“So… what do you think of this so far?” “This

VR experience?”

“Yeah, how do you like it?” Spartan asked.

“I almost feel like I’m sitting at a table with you for real.

It’s nice. I missed this.”

“Not too many people yet?”

“It’s fine, they are more like NPCs to-.”

Somebody in a near group shouted,

“God, I am so pissed!

Remember that new premium console I got?

The one that will launch in three months.

I paid a premium for the very limited early edition.

That bloody thing runs hot and turns off!”

“-to be ignored…” Gideon sighed.

“Something wrong?” “It’s loud here.”

He went into the options,

turned down the voice volume for all,

and turned Spartan back up.

The voices had faded just enough while still being understandable.

“Better”. “If only it was that easy in real life, eh?”

“Well, there’s a lot of things I wish I could tune out.”

“Like what?” “You ever notice those posts about older folks on the fandom being creepy?”

“Yeah, I saw them,

but I would not give them too much credit.

By far not as many people as it seems think that way.”

“Hopefully. But to be honest, it made me wonder when things went wrong?”

“Went wrong?” “Feeling out of place.

You know, you get into a full-time job and before you can count to three, five years have disappeared.

On the Fandom you become less and less active and you feel you’re drifting away from this community.”

“I know that feeling.

Change is normal,

but you feel it’s for the worse.”

“Pretty much.” Gideon said.

“Let me guess, in recent years, a lot of what’s happening in the Fandom just appears immature and silly to you?”

“Didn’t want to phrase it like that, but yeah, pretty much.”

“We’re indeed getting older.

We already left behind what a lot of the newcomers are going through now.

Every rollercoaster gets stale after a few rides.”

“It does. You see the drama, you know where it will go and you don’t want to deal with the same trifles over and over again.

Saying that now… these things were not minor matters to us when we first went through our own heartbreak and drama, right?”

“No, they certainly were not.”

Spartan shook his head.

“God knows. Just gotta remember that

we all were at a similar point in the past.

And, well, foolishness is not an exclusive trademark of one age group.

I think I was in a similar spot after my breakup.

Meeting my wife was my big jackpot

and my kids helped me find my inner child again.”

“How did having kids bring back your inner child?”

“You have to meet kids on their level.

When you play with them,

you can’t keep your dignity.

You don’t even think about it and do what’s the best for them.

If that means you have to be a goofball, so be it.

It is a matter of letting go and just being yourself.”

“Meeting people where they are and being authentic…

I remember that lesson from leadership training.

Curious that I never thought about applying it outside work.”

Gideon said. “It’s worth it.

Who knows what you might find when you listen to your inner child.”

“Speaking of authentic…”

“Yeah?” “My choice of name is cringy, isn’t it?”

Spartan chuckled.

“Well, mine is too, I think.”

“I will change my name again to something more mature.

It does not feel authentic anymore.

Just like using this stereotypical furry talk.”

“Like ‘pack leader’ and ‘puppies’ instead of just saying ‘kids’?”

“Yeah... it feels like trying too hard.” “You’re

right. I’ll change my name, too, and in future let’s just

talk normal.” There was a pause and a faint voice in the back.

“Oh, right now? Alright, I am sure he will understand. I’ll meet with him tomorrow evening again then.

Sounds good, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Is Blue talking to you?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.

She asked me if I would watch her favorite show with her.

As a compromise, I’ll come online for an hour or two tomorrow to meet you again.

6pm, sounds fair?”

“Okay, 6pm it is.

And hey, thanks for suggesting this.

I think I will look around a little more, still gotta find a better avatar for myself.”

“If you find a better wolf avatar, please save it for me.”

“Will do.” “See you tomorrow.”

Gideon did not feel like staying at the cafe on his own.

Instead he decided to go on a journey of exploration

and so portal after portal,

world after world came and went.

As he travelled, he pondered his past

and the path that led him here.

Exploring like this,

nostalgia nipped at his mind,

a remembering and yearning for old times when his life was still whole and unbroken.

There were many worlds dedicated to offering public avatars,

and none felt just right.

There was one world he kept seeing.

Protogen Plaza. He massaged his temples. ‘Maybe

there are other types of avatars there, too.’

He thought. It was a small world with a few pedestals on two sides.

Clicking one, Gideon transformed and went to the nearest mirror.

The face was a visor that showed basic emotions through digital facial expressions.

The creature had black fur,

fluffy ears, and thick furry legs.

The protogen on the other side of the mirror smiled at him.

Gideon shook his head.

The creature’s ears flopped around.

He sighed, then laughed.

He eyed the creature and tried out different hand gestures. The protogen

stuck his tongue out at him.

He face-palmed. This was silly,

but he had to admit to himself that he kind of liked it.

Would it be too immature?

Gideon remembered what Spartan told him about listening to the inner child.

It would at least end his avatar search for today.

“Alright then, I will give you a chance.”

With an avatar found and the night being still young

Gideon had no intention of logging off just yet.

He wanted to explore more.

The list of worlds suggested a few games to try.

He stepped into a world that was a murder game.

It took him a few rounds to understand how it worked.

He either was looking for clues as a bystander, trying to find the murderer as the inspector

or killing the other players one by one.

He explored other game worlds where he found board games,

first-person shooters and horror games.

Back at his home

he sat down in front of the mirror,

the protogen looking back at him.

Gideon enjoyed himself

and he felt he was growing fond of this new avatar, but it was confusing.

Part of him wanted to admit that he was having fun

and that he liked the protogen he saw in the mirror;

the other knew the whole thing was immature and he should leave all this behind.

It was late and with an avatar found it was time to log off.

After all these hours spent in the virtual world,

his apartment felt foreign and empty.

It was too silent.

A part of him wanted to go back,

but reason and heavy eyelids won out in the end.

Lying in a lonely bed,

his thoughts were like butterflies,

going around in erratic patterns.

Another hour passed before night was victorious

and dragged him into a vivid dream. ~

Gideon saw faded photos on the walls of an old hallway.

All the rooms were open but a single,

white painted door at the far end of the hall.

He followed a track of fading footprints across the weathered wooden floor through the dust.

He ran his finger over the frame

of one of the pictures on the wall.

It held the wreckage

of a brown minivan

with a covered body on the ground beside.

Gideon’s throat tightened,

and he looked away.

Happier scenes filled the next:

Joyful times with family,

Christmas, birthdays,

first school days.

There was a noise behind the closed door.

Somebody was in there.

Like a silver string tugging at his heart,

he felt the pull of yearning.

He wanted to run,

run against the direction of the footsteps, but could hardly move his legs.

“Are you alright?” Gideon turned around.

“Dad, I think I lost something.”

“Is it important?” “Yeah…

yeah, I think it is.”

His dad put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.

“Then it’s worth searching.

Do you want me to help you look for it?” “Yes dad, please.” “Okay, I will get my glasses

and then we search together.”

His dad went into the near room.

Gideon waited, and when his father did not return,

he walked over to the entrance of the room with great effort.

Nobody was in there.

In his mind he heard a whisper,

words from beyond the closed door at the end of the hall,

words that he could hear, but not understand.

“I am afraid. I don’t want to-”

he coughed, the stench of smoke burning his nose.

Gideon could hear the crackling of fire

and felt the heat coming from the next room.

Again he heard something from beyond the door.

A plea. “But I want things to be different.”

Gideon slid to the floor,

tears in his eyes.

He felt gravity pulling him down toward the door at the end of the burning hallway,

his body starting to slide through the dust

as he grasped for anything to hold on

to. He clung to the photo of the wreckage. He felt he had

nowhere to go and so badly he wanted to be with the voice that it hurt.

He looked at the photo he held on to

and felt torn between the wish to not let go

and the wish to be with that voice.

Suddenly, acceptance.

A great calm overcame him

and he let go. Back first, past the

fire, he fell down the hall of memories.

The door flung open as he fell through.

He hit water. Engulfed and submerged in a wide, dark ocean,

he sank away from the scattered light

filtering through the surface.

Fear crept up his spine.

“I don’t want to be afraid.”

Something embraced him from behind,

and instead of sinking further, he rose.

He felt something familiar.

Calm, confidence, acceptance.

The surface came nearer,

water stilled, and he saw his reflection;

the protogen. Looking at his hands and body,

he now was his reflection,

was the protogen from the other side of the mirror.

Squinting through tears, he ran to the open door.

He’d had enough. Gideon pushed through the fire.

It could not touch him;

the protogen like an armor

keeping it away. Shoulder first, he smashed through a wall.

It shattered, splinters flying everywhere,

and he was free. This was the first of two parts of

“The Other Side of the Mirror”

by KiDra, read for you by Khaki,

your faithful fireside companion.

Tune in next time

to find out what it is that Gideon found

on the other side of the mirror.

As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening

to The Voice of Dog