Artwork for podcast Curious Goldfish
A Chat with Grace Asbury
Episode 1027th February 2024 • Curious Goldfish • Jason English
00:00:00 00:48:15

Share Episode

Shownotes

Finding Catharsis through Music: Grace Asbury's Journey

In the episode, Grace Asbury, a 25-year old Atlanta native and current Nashville resident, talks about her musical journey and how she harnesses her personal experiences to inspire her songwriting. Grace opens up about her brother's suicide and how it has shaped her emotionally and creatively. As an artist, she aims to touch people with her songwriting and believes music holds a cathartic power in life. The upcoming year is an exciting one for Grace, with a musical reset and a series of singles set to be released, marking a new path in her career.

00:05 The Power of Music and Introduction

01:00 Introducing the Host and the Podcast

01:39 Grace Asbury: A Rising Star

03:32 The Journey to Nashville

06:06 Grace's Personal Life and Collaborations

06:40 The Struggles and Triumphs of Making it in Nashville

08:07 The Art of Co-Writing and Networking

14:35 Grace's Unique Sound and Musical Reset

18:27 Songwriting: Personal Experiences and Imaginative Storytelling

20:09 Dealing with Grief: A Personal Story

22:14 The Impact of Loss on Family Dynamics

23:23 Remembering a Loved One: Sam's Legacy

27:28 The Power of Music in Processing Grief

31:47 The Role of Gratitude in Healing

36:52 The Importance of Family Support

38:01 Looking Forward: Upcoming Music Releases

38:54 Closing Remarks and Performance

Transcripts

Grace Asbury:

I mean, I think music is the most cathartic thing in this

2

:

world And if you really think about

it, if you took music out of our just

3

:

everyday life, if music didn't exist,

it'd be the weirdest experience ever.

4

:

So it's just always in the background,

but then I think so many people I mean

5

:

That's why the biggest artists can do

what they do I mean you look at Taylor

6

:

Swift so many people think like feel that

they've lived her songs or they know her

7

:

or They help that have helped them through

things I think that's like the biggest

8

:

gift that we have as songwriters is

being able to Do that for people because

9

:

I, I always tell people when they're

like, what do you want out of this?

10

:

Like I want to impact people in a way that

they feel they can listen to my music and

11

:

it did something to them, whether it made

them happy, whether it made them laugh or

12

:

just like made them cry their eyes out.

13

:

Jason English (Host): Welcome to

Curious Goldfish, a podcast community

14

:

where music and curiosity come together

through interesting conversations

15

:

with the music makers of our world.

16

:

I'm your host, Jason English.

17

:

You can find Curious Goldfish and all the

major podcasts and social media platforms.

18

:

And of course we have all of our

content on our website, curiousgoldfish.

19

:

com.

20

:

It was really fun to see Grace Asbury

perform recently late on a Friday

21

:

night at Eddie's attic in Atlanta.

22

:

The 25 year old Atlanta native and

current Nashville resident showcased

23

:

her entire arsenal of talent from

her sweeping emotional vocals to her

24

:

clever creative songwriting with a lot

of personality and charm in between.

25

:

But what struck me most about that

night and from the conversation I

26

:

had with her for this episode Was

her sentiment and authenticity.

27

:

one hand, she is putting herself

out there, trying to be seen

28

:

and heard by whomever will give

her three and a half minutes.

29

:

You can see the ambition

and commitment in her eyes.

30

:

She wants it, whatever "it" is.

31

:

But there's more to her than

just being an ambitious singer.

32

:

The sentiment and authenticity was really

embodied by her storytelling and the

33

:

stories I heard before the show, waiting

for the doors to open from friends and

34

:

acquaintances who remember watching Grace

perform when she was in middle school.

35

:

You can tell they want her dreams

to come true as much as she does.

36

:

Maybe because of her talent, maybe because

of how tight knit her family is, or maybe

37

:

because of the nightmare they collectively

experienced four years ago with the

38

:

passing of one of her older brothers, Sam.

39

:

She talks about that

experience and sings us a song.

40

:

She penned shortly after the

tragedy, which is both inspirational

41

:

and heartbreaking, but beyond her

voice, beyond her catchy lyrics,

42

:

it's going to be the authenticity

grace has in her core that will help

43

:

her achieve what she and her close

network so desperately want for her.

44

:

Will she make it?

45

:

You never know in Nashville, but with her

talent, with her support system and with

46

:

that authenticity, my bet is she does.

47

:

I hope you feel the same after

listening to our conversation.

48

:

Here's Grace Asbury.

49

:

Let's dive in.

50

:

Hi, Grace.

51

:

Nice to meet you.

52

:

Nice

53

:

Grace Asbury: to meet you as well.

54

:

Thanks for having me.

55

:

Jason English (Host):

Well, thanks for your time.

56

:

Of course.

57

:

So you're in Atlanta for the weekend.

58

:

Anything going on this weekend in Atlanta?

59

:

Grace Asbury: I have a show

tomorrow at Eddie's attic at

60

:

9 15 PM and it's gonna be fun.

61

:

It's kind of, I haven't

had a show in a minute.

62

:

I have a lot of new stuff and I'm

excited to get to share that with people.

63

:

It's gonna be fun.

64

:

Jason English (Host): All right.

65

:

Well, Eddie's Attic is legendary.

66

:

What kind of set do you have planned?

67

:

Grace Asbury: So it's very much, I

have a little bit of my old stuff

68

:

sprinkled in there, but since being in

Nashville, I've had so many co writes.

69

:

So it's just kind of, and we're in like

this rebranding phase of my career.

70

:

So it's this whole kind of new vibe

that I'm bringing to the table.

71

:

So it's just a lot of.

72

:

Like, you know what, here's the new

stuff, here's me as a lot of these songs

73

:

you might be hearing in the next few

years, so I'm really excited about it.

74

:

It's going to be in very acoustic

listening room vibe and we're going to

75

:

have a good time and I have a couple

covers thrown in there so people are going

76

:

to know the words, but don't go there

thinking you're going to know my songs.

77

:

Jason English (Host): Right.

78

:

Well, that's kind of the point is to

get to know singer songwriters, right?

79

:

Have you, you, have you

played at Eddie's before?

80

:

Grace Asbury: I have.

81

:

I've played two times before.

82

:

One was with a full band.

83

:

Really fun.

84

:

Great, great energy.

85

:

And the second was just kind of a

broken down drummer and guitar player.

86

:

Not fully acoustic, but

like kind of acoustic.

87

:

So, that was really fun and

then I just, that was the show

88

:

I realized like, you know what?

89

:

It's more fun to play in this room

with a very stripped down vibe.

90

:

Yeah.

91

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah.

92

:

I get that.

93

:

So you grew up in Atlanta.

94

:

I think you've played, obviously you've

played Eddie's before, like you just said,

95

:

and I think you played Buckhead theater.

96

:

Grace Asbury: I had.

97

:

Jason English (Host): So what, what are

the top two venues you want to play in

98

:

the next five years here in Atlanta?

99

:

Yeah.

100

:

Yeah.

101

:

Yeah.

102

:

Oh my gosh,

103

:

Grace Asbury: That's a great question.

104

:

Jason English (Host): Tabernacle,

105

:

Grace Asbury: I know um

106

:

Jason English (Host): there's the Roxy,

107

:

Grace Asbury: Roxy is one.

108

:

I would think that would be really cool.

109

:

I would love to even play, I mean

this is ambitious, but like, it'd be

110

:

amazing if I got to like State Farm

and stuff like that, just good, growing

111

:

up, those are giant stadiums and

arenas, just being from Atlanta would

112

:

be, I've gone to so many sports and

things and concerts, I'm like, that'd

113

:

be amazing if I was in there, but yeah.

114

:

Jason English (Host): yeah.

115

:

No, that's good.

116

:

That's good.

117

:

Uh, how long have you lived in Nashville?

118

:

Grace Asbury: I moved last June.

119

:

So, pretty fresh.

120

:

Not even a year in yet, but it's been

a whirlwind since I've been there,

121

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah.

122

:

And you went to UGA?

123

:

Yes.

124

:

Uh, you grew up here.

125

:

You went to UGA Helder, you know?

126

:

Grace Asbury: I'm 25.

127

:

Jason English (Host): So you're 25.

128

:

All right.

129

:

All right.

130

:

So 25, I'm assuming single in Nashville.

131

:

Grace Asbury: I'm not single.

132

:

Jason English (Host): You're not single?

133

:

No,

134

:

Grace Asbury: I'm not.

135

:

I moved with my boyfriend actually.

136

:

Yeah, he's also my drummer.

137

:

So we're very tied in.

138

:

Jason English (Host): but the

collaboration's very good.

139

:

Grace Asbury: It is.

140

:

It's, um, he wasn't my drummer when

we started, or he wasn't my boyfriend

141

:

when we started playing together.

142

:

And then we just kind of hit it off and we

both made that leap together to go there.

143

:

And it's really nice because it's

a big move and it's kind of amazing

144

:

to have a support system there.

145

:

So it's been almost a

godsend to have him there.

146

:

Jason English (Host): So describe

to the audience life in Nashville

147

:

in your mid twenties trying to sort

of make it in the music industry.

148

:

I mean, is it exhilarating?

149

:

Is it is it everything in between?

150

:

Grace Asbury: I would say at first

it's a little like nerve wrecking.

151

:

Um, I'm a very outgoing person and so

it's fun to be there and meet people.

152

:

It's extremely different.

153

:

vibe, I guess, that

I've ever been used to.

154

:

Because I felt like in Atlanta

I was kind of a no man's land.

155

:

I was kind of doing

country music on my own.

156

:

And I'm a really competitive person.

157

:

So being in Nashville has kind of

like, upped my game a little bit.

158

:

Like, I have to prove myself.

159

:

I want to be here.

160

:

And it's been really, really fun,

but there's times where, you know,

161

:

my first couple of co writes,

I would walk out and be like,

162

:

I'm

163

:

Was that really all, am I good at this?

164

:

Like, was that stupid?

165

:

Cause you just, people write

so differently and I never

166

:

really co written with anybody.

167

:

And I didn't know how they were taking

me as an artist or as a writer.

168

:

And I was like, maybe they, but then

they asked if they wanted to do it again.

169

:

And I was like, okay, so they must want

me back and they must like me, but.

170

:

It is a little like messes with your

head a little bit and you have to

171

:

just kind of fight through it and

just be like, no, I, because I think

172

:

that's how it like weeds people out.

173

:

Like you either get the mentality

of I deserve to be here and I'm

174

:

going to prove it or you just get

kind of scared and pushed out.

175

:

So,

176

:

Jason English (Host): When you're

co writing with somebody, how do

177

:

you meet the other co writers?

178

:

How does that all come, come together?

179

:

So

180

:

Grace Asbury: so some, I do have a

manager who's put me in some rooms with

181

:

like a little bit bigger songwriters,

which is very nerve wracking.

182

:

Um, and then others are just

organic going to rounds throughout.

183

:

Cause there's like rounds all week

at different bars in Nashville and

184

:

you just go and they'll have like

every hour is like four different

185

:

writers and they play their songs.

186

:

And I've done a couple of those

since I've been in Nashville.

187

:

And you just kind of, if you hear

somebody that you're like, Oh, I

188

:

feel like we'd write well together.

189

:

I like what they do.

190

:

You just go up and, Hey, my name's Grace.

191

:

Like I'm in town.

192

:

I'm a country singer.

193

:

And then they're, they're like,

eh, don't want to, or they're

194

:

like, Oh yeah, here's my number.

195

:

Jason English (Host): Well, you

mentioned confidence earlier.

196

:

You've got to have confidence

to, to put yourself in that.

197

:

Situation.

198

:

Right.

199

:

So that, that, that says a lot.

200

:

I mean, that's half the battle, I

think, not just with probably with

201

:

songwriting and music, but also

with business or dating or whatever.

202

:

It's like,

203

:

Grace Asbury: hmm.

204

:

Jason English (Host): you kind of have to

fake it a little bit and probably extend

205

:

yourself and be like, I have to think

better or think more about myself than I

206

:

probably am to put in a situation where

you can probably have that opportunity.

207

:

Is that what you find?

208

:

Grace Asbury: finding?

209

:

Very, yeah.

210

:

I definitely, it's like kind of

staring fear straight in the face.

211

:

Cause my dad is like Mr.

212

:

Salesman.

213

:

So he is like no fear when it

comes to just walking up to people.

214

:

And I wish I had a

little bit more of that.

215

:

Because, and he's really

like trying to ignite me.

216

:

I have part of it.

217

:

But that's one of the biggest things in

Nashville that I've had to just like.

218

:

Push that wall down like break it down

because it's like you have to be totally

219

:

okay walking up to people and then being

I don't want to write with you or I don't

220

:

and because a lot of times they'll be like

oh yeah let's do it but it's like if you

221

:

just never ask people or try you're never

gonna make those like connections and make

222

:

your name known throughout the town like

even just walking up to the people that

223

:

run the rounds that can be a little nerve

wracking of being like hi I would love to

224

:

be a part of this like a lot of people are

like No, I don't want to do that and I was

225

:

kind of like I don't want it to be weird

And I finally was like, okay Like I'm just

226

:

gonna go say hello and say I would love

to be a part of it and it worked I'm like,

227

:

but it is it's just having the confidence

to be able to Go talk to people That's a

228

:

huge thing and a lot of people have talked

about that to me is like that kind of

229

:

separates people in Nashville too, like

if you're afraid to be like forward and

230

:

go talk to people and I was like, that's

231

:

the, some

232

:

Jason English (Host):

Well funny is that some

233

:

of the artists I've talked to talk to as

part of this podcast, I'm kind of shocked

234

:

at how insecure they are and how there's

not a, there's not a lot of confidence

235

:

Grace Asbury: you

236

:

Jason English (Host): and you know, and

so it's, yeah, it's a great point because.

237

:

You could be so talented in songwriting

and on an instrument, but there's sort

238

:

of the intangibles that you probably

need to kind of navigate and make it.

239

:

I think

240

:

Grace Asbury: kind of navigate.

241

:

being an artist

242

:

Is like the creative side really overtakes

and if you think about writers and stuff

243

:

we pull so much from whether they be

our insecurities or just personal life

244

:

or what's happened to us and You do

you're just like stuck in that creative

245

:

state and I feel like I've met I think

that's what really set like songwriters.

246

:

It's pretty okay To be

like that sometimes.

247

:

If you want to be an artist, that's when

you have to be able to kind of have that,

248

:

like, type A alpha in you a little bit.

249

:

You have to, like, I've talked to

a lot of people who have been like,

250

:

you have to believe that you have

something that other people don't have.

251

:

Which is very true, like, cause you

have to make people believe that too.

252

:

Like, I deserve to be here.

253

:

There's, there's a path for

me and I'm gonna prove it.

254

:

And so, I had somebody always tell me,

like, you need to have a chip on your

255

:

shoulder if you want to be an artist.

256

:

You gotta be, like, mad, like,

you gotta, things have had to

257

:

piss you off, and you have to be

like, no, I'm gonna go get this.

258

:

And, I kinda definitely have it,

I like looking at it more of the

259

:

way, cause somebody said, you have

to believe you're better than other

260

:

people, and I was like, I don't

believe that, I believe that I have

261

:

something that other people don't have.

262

:

I think it's a better way of

putting it rather than, I was like,

263

:

I think there's some extremely

talented people in Nashville.

264

:

Jason English (Host): Well, it's

also, it must be kind of frustrating

265

:

because the line, it's a thin line

between quote unquote making it and

266

:

then whatever not making it means.

267

:

I mean, sometimes someone, someone's happy

of just like being a local person that

268

:

does gigs just at the local bar tavern.

269

:

But you know, cause it must be

frustrating because there's a lot of

270

:

people that have quote unquote made it.

271

:

Grace Asbury: Yeah.

272

:

Like,

273

:

Jason English (Host): Like, let's be

honest, they're not that good, right?

274

:

And then some people that, again,

whatever definition of like making

275

:

it is, haven't done that yet.

276

:

And they're so freaking talented and you

just kind of wonder like, what is it?

277

:

You know?

278

:

Grace Asbury: I think it's so it is

because I mean trust me the amount of

279

:

times we've all like been around them

and just like People like this song like

280

:

it's so interesting, but I think it all

comes down to just the people you get

281

:

around you and your team and then what

do you have to offer and like I think a

282

:

lot of times it's not the better vocalist

It's not the better song It's something

283

:

about that person that people tap into

and they do a great job and they find

284

:

something Really specific and like and

they have their own style They have their

285

:

own branding kind of thing and they stand

out like I think Like for example, like

286

:

Lainey Wilson did a great job with that.

287

:

I love Lainey.

288

:

She's one of my favorite artists and

then You know who Megan Maroney is She

289

:

is She's gotten pretty big in Nashville.

290

:

I always she's this thing

called like emo cowgirl.

291

:

That's her vibe she I think sings

like kind of sadder country songs But I

292

:

respect the hell out of her and her team

because they've done a great job like

293

:

pushing her and marketing her in a way

like Nobody looks like her in country

294

:

music and she's done a great job at that.

295

:

And I think that's really It because it's

like there's so many talented people in

296

:

Nashville, and there's so many talented

songwriters and singers, but it's like

297

:

what's What's gonna be the thing in the

path that you take that nobody else?

298

:

Will be able to like get there before

you and I think that's One of the most

299

:

important things when you're trying to be

an artist Is like finding that and like

300

:

getting people around you that can help

hone in on that and I've really gathered

301

:

a team around me and we've With the new

songs that I have coming and I'm excited

302

:

because I feel like we're heading down a

path and it's like, all right, no female

303

:

in country is like hitting this right now.

304

:

So I'm excited.

305

:

Yeah.

306

:

Jason English (Host): Well, you

mentioned the reset earlier.

307

:

Tell us more about what

that actually entails.

308

:

Grace Asbury: So I did

have like three singles.

309

:

2019

310

:

to 2021 ish, I would say,

like all through COVID times.

311

:

And then we had an album

follow and that was awesome.

312

:

It was a great experience.

313

:

It was, the album was kind of all over

the place in my opinion, just because I

314

:

was younger and I was just writing like

a bunch of songs and I didn't really

315

:

have like an idea of what my path was.

316

:

And when I started to get a

band around me, I did, but we.

317

:

Unfortunately, we had added some

people on to that team who had added

318

:

a lot of fake numbers to my stuff.

319

:

So fake streams on Spotify,

fake stuff on Instagram.

320

:

And it, it hurt me cause a

lot of the social media places

321

:

started to really crack down.

322

:

They wanted to be really authentic.

323

:

So, I started to get like hidden,

blocked, and I had to delete

324

:

everything, start from scratch.

325

:

And so now We've made the ultimate

decision just to take everything

326

:

down so I could have like the best

opportunity of actually growing

327

:

and I was kind of in a place where

I didn't think it would hurt me.

328

:

So we were like, let's just

start from ground zero.

329

:

And I'm in this whole, and it's

really fun because it's kind of like.

330

:

A whole new life and like new energy and I

get to just put my next single out and be

331

:

like, this is my sound now and everything

that will follow will be similar and

332

:

all line into like the Grace Asbury sound

and people will know when they hear a

333

:

song like, oh, that's got to be her.

334

:

So

335

:

Jason English (Host): Well,

what is the Grace Asbury sound?

336

:

Grace Asbury: it's a great way.

337

:

That's a great question.

338

:

I asked, I told one of my friends

about it and she was like, I feel

339

:

like I just need to hear the song.

340

:

And then when I told her when

she heard the song, she was like,

341

:

Oh, I know what you're saying.

342

:

It's like a more gritty sound to

female country, like very, has

343

:

southern rock elements, the big

344

:

tones, guitars, you know, rock

heavy, big, really percussion based.

345

:

Um, and just has a little bit of

like the pop side in it, but not

346

:

the way you would hear it today.

347

:

I think the best way is like, just

like fierce grit coming at you.

348

:

I'm a big vocalist, so we use that

to my advantage and it's just, yeah.

349

:

And it's kind of the content for majority

of my stuff is not usually what you hear.

350

:

So I'm excited about that too.

351

:

You can hear it soon.

352

:

So like

353

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah, that's good.

354

:

So kind of back to Nashville, what

you're doing now, sort of ahead of

355

:

the singles coming out and this reset,

are you gigging like every night?

356

:

Grace Asbury: I'm well

pretty much every night.

357

:

I'm in such like a connection based time.

358

:

So like every night I'm going out

meeting people Usually it's just

359

:

every weekday, which is kind of funny.

360

:

The weekends are my chill time because the

weekends is more just the touristy bars,

361

:

crazy

362

:

cover bands.

363

:

And I go out.

364

:

Monday through Friday, pretty much.

365

:

I go to all different rounds,

whether it's the listening room, or

366

:

Live Oak, or the local whiskey jam.

367

:

I just want my face to be seen.

368

:

Try to talk to people, meet people.

369

:

And it's just getting your face and your

name out there, and the more they see me.

370

:

I have a very specific look every

time I go out, so I've started to

371

:

be like, like I've seen you before.

372

:

I'm like, yep.

373

:

I've been here.

374

:

I've always had my cowboy hat on.

375

:

That's my go to.

376

:

And it's just That's the vibe, that's what

I do, and I've been playing, which is my

377

:

biggest thing right now, is getting in

those songwriting rounds, and I've done

378

:

about five or six of them now, so just

being out there and having my name out

379

:

there, so, and I think the goal is to get

more gigs this year, more like paid gigs

380

:

and stuff like that, but, um, right now

it's just kind of like being in the scene.

381

:

My dad likes to say, go

where the target market is,

382

:

Jason English (Host): is.

383

:

He's got, yes, he's got,

yeah, he's a sales guy.

384

:

That's

385

:

Grace Asbury: very much

386

:

Jason English (Host): so

where, what are your sources

387

:

of inspiration for songwriting?

388

:

I mean, some people may

say, well, she's 25.

389

:

What

390

:

There's no, you know, what has she

possibly experienced to, you know, to, to

391

:

lead to heartbreak songs or, or whatever.

392

:

But, you know, everybody

goes through shit.

393

:

Grace Asbury: right?

394

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah, what's,

what's your main source of inspiration for

395

:

songwriting or does it, does it depend?

396

:

Grace Asbury: for it?

397

:

Really, it kind of depends.

398

:

Some stuff is really personal.

399

:

Some, cause I, I have, I'm, I know

I'm young, I'm 25, got a lot more

400

:

life to live, hopefully, God willing.

401

:

But I have had a lot happen to me in my

life so far, and I've had a very blessed

402

:

life, but definitely have had challenges,

and then some of it is just ideas.

403

:

I might hear somebody talking and be

like, oh, that's an interesting, like,

404

:

concept, or, cause I think the most

fun songs are actually, the personal

405

:

songs come easy, in my opinion.

406

:

You feel it.

407

:

You write it and it's just like within

you, but I really like a song where

408

:

it's just you have to build a story.

409

:

those songs are fun because they're

challenging because it's like I'm that's

410

:

I didn't live that life but it's kind of

fun to step into that storyline and write

411

:

a song that people Can like literally

see in their minds when they're listening

412

:

to it, and I think as a songwriter you

know, you've been given a gift to be

413

:

able to put certain things into words

and melody and people are like, oh my

414

:

gosh, I've lived this and I feel this

and Whether or not I've lived it I'm

415

:

kind of speaking for maybe somebody

that has or I wrote a song that speaks

416

:

for them So it's that stuff's always

fun to me, but it's a mixture for sure

417

:

Jason English (Host): So you mentioned

you've, you've been through a lot.

418

:

Uh, you've experienced

a lot of grief, I guess.

419

:

Yeah.

420

:

Tell us about that.

421

:

Yes.

422

:

Grace Asbury: um, unfortunately, when

I was, It was actually the, um, It was

423

:

2020, so it was the four year mark.

424

:

On February 11th, so a few days ago.

425

:

Um, my brother took his own life,

which was really surprising.

426

:

I remember getting the

call and I was at UGA.

427

:

It was like driving back from my workout.

428

:

I remember the street I was on Macon

Highway and my dad called me and I was

429

:

going home the next day because my brother

was living with my parents at that time.

430

:

He just graduated from UGA it

was just like for six months, just

431

:

living while he made some money.

432

:

He had a great job at Northwestern

Mutual, was a financial

433

:

advisor and everyone loved him.

434

:

Like he was funny.

435

:

He was like the athlete in high

school, you know, just a great guy.

436

:

Like he's the funniest guy

I've ever known in my entire

437

:

life, like wittiest, hilarious.

438

:

And I got a call from my dad and he

was like, what are you doing right now?

439

:

I'm like driving back from my workout

and he's like, okay, um, are you, I was

440

:

like, I'm about to pull into my apartment,

I was living with my friends and he was

441

:

like, Sam like took his own life today.

442

:

I thought it was a joke.

443

:

I literally was like, that's not funny.

444

:

I don't know why you're saying that to me.

445

:

So, um, cause I was like, I think

the first thing he said when

446

:

he said Sam, I said Sam Asbury.

447

:

And he was like, yeah, and

he was so numb on the phone.

448

:

That's what I knew.

449

:

And he's like, I wish I was joking.

450

:

And it was just like, I

was in shock for a minute.

451

:

And luckily my best friend who I lived

with at the time, I like called her

452

:

and I was like, Hey, where are you?

453

:

And she knew right away

from my tone of my voice.

454

:

She's like, what's going on?

455

:

What's wrong?

456

:

And I was like, I just told her

and she stopped everything, like

457

:

drove home and got there, but it

was a really, it was a whirlwind.

458

:

Cause it was just like, so shocking.

459

:

But after that,

460

:

it was

461

:

just a long road of, like, because then,

right after that COVID came, so that was

462

:

like, my whole family was locked in a

house together, and we're all grieving in

463

:

different ways, and it's just If you've

ever dealt with like grief, you know

464

:

that people deal with it so differently.

465

:

I kind of felt like the

backbone of the family.

466

:

My dad was super strong.

467

:

He compartmentalized very well,

and my brother, who was in the

468

:

military at the time, he's now home.

469

:

But he

470

:

really

471

:

strong too, but it just was,

472

:

Jason English (Host): it

473

:

Grace Asbury: it was weird, like it was

a very, I don't even, And, like, you go

474

:

through these, such these big waves of,

like, happiness, and then you feel, like,

475

:

guilt, almost, for being happy, and it's

weird now, because my life is so different

476

:

than when that happened, you know, I have

a boyfriend that he never met, I live in a

477

:

state that he was never in, and It's just

so interesting and it's like my parents

478

:

don't live in the same house anymore they

used to live in and we've sold everything

479

:

that Sam was a part of so it's like

There's times where I like it hits me

480

:

Jason English (Host): like,

481

:

Grace Asbury: yeah, like all of that

happened And it's weird cuz you feel

482

:

this guilt of like, how could I just

like forget about this and you're like,

483

:

well, I didn't forget I'm just I'm in

a new life basically and it's I miss

484

:

him every day and He truly was the

funniest person I've ever had in my life.

485

:

He was like my best friend the

last six months of his life.

486

:

We went to games together, like,

487

:

together.

488

:

I

489

:

I loved having him around

and we were at UGA together.

490

:

But, it is just, it's just, I

think it just comes and goes.

491

:

I started crying the other day, it

just, my friend just texted me randomly.

492

:

And I was like, hey, I just

wanted to check in, I haven't

493

:

asked about this in a while.

494

:

How do you, and I'm big on

like, feel every single emotion.

495

:

Like I went, this might sound

interesting to some people, but

496

:

I, I went and like yelled at my

brother, like at his gravesite.

497

:

Because I was so mad.

498

:

Because to me, it's like, there is a

selfish side to suicide, but you also get

499

:

to this place of like, it's so horrible

that they get to that place, you know?

500

:

So, but like, I'm like, be angry, get mad.

501

:

Like, I did that and it helped so much.

502

:

And then it allowed me to like, get that

anger out, and then of course I was there

503

:

and I was like, I miss you, I love you.

504

:

But it's just, when I want to cry, I cry.

505

:

When I want to be

506

:

be

507

:

upset about something, I am, you

know, it's like, you can't, the more

508

:

you try to like box it in, you're

just going to implode one day.

509

:

Jason English (Host): So the

age difference with you and your

510

:

brothers, you guys are all pretty,

511

:

Grace Asbury: All pretty close.

512

:

We're all a year and a

513

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah.

514

:

So it's, yeah.

515

:

So I have a daughter and two sons.

516

:

She's the oldest, but they were all

a year and a half to two years apart.

517

:

So really, really tight.

518

:

Are you in, in your brother today?

519

:

How has that impacted your, your

relationship with your, your brother?

520

:

We were

521

:

Grace Asbury: all like

always pretty close.

522

:

We kind of went through the waves

of like, you know, the siblings.

523

:

I was the one they targeted, and

then it turned into we targeted Sam,

524

:

and then Sam and I targeted Ben.

525

:

So, it was like, that, but we,

as we got older and older, we all

526

:

just like, grew up a little bit.

527

:

But, um, I would def Ben was probably

my strong point when it all hit.

528

:

Cause he came home from the military,

and I, I didn't want to cry in front of

529

:

my parents, cause I was like, especially

my mom, cause I was like, she got the

530

:

brunt of it, and like, I, I can't be that

person, and my mom's been through so much.

531

:

She's the only one

standing from her immediate

532

:

Jason English (Host): family.

533

:

And like,

534

:

Grace Asbury: And like, now her son.

535

:

I was like, are you kidding me?

536

:

So, I didn't want to cry,

I didn't want to be upset.

537

:

But when Ben came home, and we picked

him up at the airport, I just like,

538

:

fell into his arms and started crying.

539

:

And he was really strong.

540

:

And he's very much of that like,

military kind of mindset He cried.

541

:

Alright, we get up, we move on.

542

:

He's great in that way.

543

:

He feels things, but he's Very aware of

we have one life, like we can't just be

544

:

sad all the time, which is very true.

545

:

But um, so he was definitely the person

that I always leaned on, and I still do.

546

:

And we always, we called and talked to

each other a lot when I was in college.

547

:

But it's different.

548

:

We probably talk to each

other five times a week.

549

:

We're very like, Oh, what?

550

:

I have nothing to do.

551

:

Oh, I'll call Ben.

552

:

And it's like, we're both really

talkative and like to talk to each other.

553

:

On my ride home, I'd probably

talk to him for an hour.

554

:

Um, so he just, yeah, it definitely

555

:

you.

556

:

I think it can kind of

do both a little bit.

557

:

I think in the beginning, it's very,

depending on how people grieve,

558

:

like me and you get in fights just

because like you are upset or you're

559

:

mad or little things like get to

you and some people are just numb.

560

:

Jason English (Host): Well,

trauma, trauma has so many

561

:

Grace Asbury: Yeah.

562

:

Jason English (Host): you know, it's all,

it's all unexpected, no matter what the,

563

:

what the root issue is, if it's, you know,

addiction or death or, or, or whatever.

564

:

Right.

565

:

So yeah, that's, yeah.

566

:

Uh, that, yeah, I can't imagine

what you guys went through on that.

567

:

How has that affected you

in the last few years?

568

:

Leaving UGA, starting this career

in music, I'm sure you said you

569

:

think about him all the time.

570

:

But in terms of songwriting and in

terms of when you're on stage and

571

:

performing, you know, what's the feeling?

572

:

Um,

573

:

Grace Asbury: it's interesting

actually, right before.

574

:

Like two months before Sam had passed,

he'd, I remember we were standing, it was

575

:

like before the SEC championship and we

were standing to go into Mercedes Benz.

576

:

Um, and I was like, yeah, I

mean, if I make it or like, if I

577

:

get to that point and he looked

right at me and just goes, if

578

:

Jason English (Host): cool.

579

:

Grace Asbury: Grace, like you're

going to make it, you're ridiculous.

580

:

And like, I hold that with

581

:

Jason English (Host): Hmm.

582

:

Grace Asbury: Cause it's just, I always,

whenever I started to doubt myself,

583

:

I'm like, no, and Sam's up there now.

584

:

And he's like my angel.

585

:

And he's got my back and just

keep your head down and work hard.

586

:

And so whenever I know, whenever I

get on stages and like the bigger

587

:

they tend to get, or like the

moments I get, I'm always like, have

588

:

a little like, thank you up there.

589

:

Just like, I know he's looking out for me.

590

:

He's watching.

591

:

It's just.

592

:

I know one day when I get to a point that

I wanted to get to, I'm, there's going to

593

:

be like a moment that I'm like, I did it,

and like, we did it, and it's just, it's

594

:

really, it's, it's interesting, you know,

I definitely believe God has a plan, and I

595

:

don't understand it, and no one does, but

um, he's He's up there watching over me.

596

:

There's a reason for this.

597

:

I'll see him again someday, but I know

598

:

get

599

:

on a stage, he's watching over me, and

he's with me every step of the way.

600

:

So, it's just that feeling that I

know I have my greatest angel up

601

:

Jason English (Host): Right.

602

:

Grace Asbury: Who has my

back, and hopefully he's

603

:

putting a good word in for me.

604

:

But,

605

:

Jason English (Host): good word

in for me, but It's stuff that

606

:

like He was like, obviously funny

607

:

Grace Asbury: oh, I mean,

it's stuff that like,

608

:

Jason English (Host): so improper

609

:

Grace Asbury: he was like, obviously funny

to everybody, but I'm trying to, like,

610

:

he was someone who was like, so improper.

611

:

And would say stuff that,

like, I probably can't say.

612

:

But, um, like, he would just do

stuff that, like, if you knew him,

613

:

you would He was just ridiculous.

614

:

Like, he would Like, we were

in Italy for some reason, you

615

:

know how they say, Arrivederci?

616

:

Like, that's their, like,

is that hello or goodbye?

617

:

I don't remember.

618

:

Um, but for some reason, he would

always just keep going, Areva Derici?

619

:

Areva Derici me?

620

:

And then you're just looking at

him like, what does that even mean?

621

:

Like,

622

:

Jason English (Host): movie?

623

:

Grace Asbury: but you're just like

staring at him like, We all just, if you

624

:

like knew him, you'd be dying laughing.

625

:

And he would always take little

lines from songs and like add them

626

:

into Like, just a conversation and

you'd be like, what's happening?

627

:

Like, it's like little rap songs and

just, he was, he was really funny and he

628

:

just, and he was an asshole, like, like

he was, he was, he could be so mean,

629

:

but it just was like just a brother.

630

:

But, um, he was so amazing

in the way of like, if I was

631

:

upset, he was the only person.

632

:

They could like cheer me up, and in the

funniest way, he would just be like,

633

:

He

634

:

he used to always make fun of

my voice too for some reason.

635

:

He'd act like I was way

more country than I am.

636

:

I would say something and he would

be like, I would, I'd be like, he

637

:

would say something, and then he would

mimic me in a really country accent.

638

:

And I'd go, I don't talk like that.

639

:

And he'd go, I don't talk like that.

640

:

And I was just like, and then he'd

always make this face of just like, and

641

:

like look at me, and it was just like.

642

:

But it was like, he could get under

your skin, but he knew how to cheer you

643

:

up, and one day I was having like a bad

day, and he ran up behind me and picked

644

:

me up, and he's like, gotta take out

the trash, and tried to like throw me

645

:

in a trash can, but it made me laugh.

646

:

He was just he was such a light

and it's just sad to think

647

:

that he didn't see that But

648

:

Jason English (Host): Well thanks for

sharing, I really appreciate that, so

649

:

in terms of dealing grief and then the

underlying things around mental health

650

:

how important is music do you think.

651

:

Not just you as a, as an artist and

a songwriter, but music in general,

652

:

whether, you know, you play, you

listen, how can music sort of help

653

:

people through those, those times?

654

:

I

655

:

Grace Asbury: I mean, I think music

is the most cathartic thing in this

656

:

world And if you really think about it,

somebody has said this to me before,

657

:

but if you took music out of our just

everyday life, if music didn't exist,

658

:

it'd be the weirdest experience ever.

659

:

Like if you, every TV show, every

movie, you're on an elevator, you're

660

:

at a sports game, you're just in your

car, like, it's just, if you took

661

:

music out of stuff, it'd feel so weird.

662

:

So it's just always in the background,

but then I think so many people I mean

663

:

That's why the biggest artists can do

what they do I mean you look at Taylor

664

:

Swift so many people think like feel that

they've lived her songs or they know her

665

:

or They help that have helped them through

things and I think that's like the biggest

666

:

gift that we have as songwriters is

being able to Do that for people because

667

:

I, I always tell people when they're

like, what do you want out of this?

668

:

Like I want to impact people in a way that

they feel they can listen to my music and

669

:

it did something to them, whether it made

them happy, whether it made them laugh or

670

:

just like made them cry their eyes out.

671

:

I think it's just such a powerful thing

and some people don't realize it But I'm

672

:

really lucky that I can write and put

like within Sam after he passed within

673

:

two weeks I wrote a song for him and

it was super super cathartic and I was

674

:

able to Get my feelings out and put them

down on paper, but it's nice, there's

675

:

people that have listened to that song

before, and like, it helps them, and it

676

:

got them to a place where they were like,

that like, did so much for me, and like,

677

:

I just lost my cousin, and she, like,

this song helped me through that, and

678

:

it's just, I think that's what it is.

679

:

Like we have the power to do and

that's what music does and that's

680

:

one thing I always like to remember

is like I don't i'm not in this to

681

:

just like be in the spotlight Like

i'm in this to impact people and I

682

:

believe god put me here for a reason

And this is my way that I get to make

683

:

way An impact on people's

lives and that way so

684

:

Jason English (Host): Good for you.

685

:

Well, I think, you know, obviously

Sam, uh, his passing is awful by

686

:

itself, but when you, like you said,

when you couple that with COVID

687

:

Grace Asbury: Yeah

688

:

Jason English (Host): and then

everything around that, and

689

:

you, you look back at that time.

690

:

And you just don't know what people are

going through, you know, and we all have,

691

:

we all have our ghosts, you know, whether

they're personal ghosts, family ghosts.

692

:

And can you imagine going through COVID,

uh, without music or, you know, the

693

:

situation that your family had to endure?

694

:

Whatever else people doing, you know,

it's just the, it's crazy that, you know,

695

:

just the, like you said, it's cathartic

and it's therapeutic and all the things.

696

:

And, uh, and I think like back to

songwriting, you said you have your,

697

:

your songs that you can sort of put on

paper to help you kind of process things.

698

:

Do you think anybody can be a songwriter?

699

:

You know,

700

:

Grace Asbury: I think journaling is, I

think it's a special gift to be able to

701

:

put things in the melody and build a song.

702

:

But I think anybody can put their

words on paper and it can be cathartic.

703

:

Because I have friends, I mean, I have one

best friend, she can never write a song,

704

:

but she can journal like nobody else.

705

:

Like, she, because I definitely

wouldn't say, I mean, that's not fair.

706

:

Anyone could write a song,

it just might not be.

707

:

just might

708

:

You're calling, but, um, but I think,

I think journaling is like one of

709

:

the most powerful things you can do.

710

:

And just like, even just like

writing down, I'm really big

711

:

every morning and just writing

three things I'm grateful for.

712

:

Jason English (Host): of like a song.

713

:

Yeah.

714

:

Can you share what

715

:

Grace Asbury: for today?

716

:

What did I say this morning?

717

:

I'm grateful, I had like cute ones.

718

:

I was grateful for my dog because

I love being able to wake up to

719

:

such a happy face every morning.

720

:

It's like I'm so blessed to wake

up and I have this dog who's like

721

:

so excited to see me every morning.

722

:

And that was my first thing.

723

:

The second thing was my dad.

724

:

He is my number one

supporter, my number one fan.

725

:

We can butt heads.

726

:

We're very similar, but I know

at the end of the day he wants.

727

:

Nothing but the best for me.

728

:

And he truly is my number one fan.

729

:

Um, and the third thing, was my mom.

730

:

She will pick up the

phone anytime I call her.

731

:

I call her when I'm bored.

732

:

And she is always my

first call in the morning.

733

:

No matter what.

734

:

Hey mom, what you doing?

735

:

It can be a two minute call,

but she's always my first call.

736

:

So those are my three things this morning.

737

:

I just I always have a different one

every morning, but it's just, I was just,

738

:

my dog was really excited to see me this

morning, and I was like, you know what?

739

:

That was fun.

740

:

Like, he was running around the house

and sprinting, and I was like, just

741

:

in a happy, good mood because of that.

742

:

So, which I think we take for

granted sometimes, how amazing

743

:

animals are in our life.

744

:

Because I grew up riding horses

too, and that was also a very like,

745

:

cathartic thing, just to be able to

like, get on an animal and have a

746

:

bond, and it's just very amazing.

747

:

But, I think it's good to reset

your mind each morning and just

748

:

be like, what am I grateful for

749

:

Jason English (Host): Yeah.

750

:

Well, how, I mean, how fortunate are you?

751

:

Cause I know, I mean, I've heard, and

I know a lot of people that female

752

:

growing up, the whole daughter father

relationship was, Either not there or

753

:

it was just completely dysfunctional.

754

:

You know how fortunate you are to have

a dad that's your number one champion.

755

:

Grace Asbury: I can't imagine, you know,

I'm, I'm extremely blessed to have not

756

:

only a dad, but like a family that's

so supportive, but my dad is truly.

757

:

Like, invested to the point where

sometimes you want to just, like,

758

:

grab him and shake him and tell him to

leave him alone, but it's just, it is

759

:

amazing and he would do anything for me.

760

:

Jason English (Host): I

761

:

Grace Asbury: I always come back to it

whenever we get in fights or arguments.

762

:

Or I'm frustrated about his thoughts

about my music or something.

763

:

I always come back to like,

you know, all he wants for me.

764

:

He almost wants me to

succeed more than I do.

765

:

He doesn't, but he's right there with me.

766

:

So it's just, I always come back to that.

767

:

Like he, looking out for

me, wants the best for me.

768

:

Jason English (Host): do a lot worse.

769

:

Grace Asbury: Yeah, yeah, trust me.

770

:

Jason English (Host):

yeah, that's awesome.

771

:

So just real quick, in the rest of

the year, you mentioned the reset.

772

:

I think you said before we

started talking, a single will

773

:

be coming out every couple months.

774

:

Is that what people can expect

775

:

Grace Asbury: Yes.

776

:

So my, not my first single, but my

first single for this year comes

777

:

out next Wednesday, February 21st.

778

:

Honest Man is the title.

779

:

Very excited about that song.

780

:

And then following, we don't have a set

date yet, but I know in April, my next

781

:

single called Slowdown Child will follow.

782

:

And then every five to six

weeks, we'll have a single.

783

:

So you can look out for

four singles this year.

784

:

With a, possibly a Christmas song, and

then if things keep rolling in a great

785

:

way, then an album should be following

at some point, but that is our plan

786

:

for now, so I'm excited about it.

787

:

Got a lot of good stuff in the works, so,

788

:

Jason English (Host): Well,

thank you for your time.

789

:

Grace Asbury: thank you so

much for having me, it's fun.

790

:

Jason English (Host): Uh, we're grateful

for your music and, uh, best of luck.

791

:

Could you play some music for us?

792

:

Grace Asbury: I would love to, yeah,

793

:

Jason English (Host): Thanks so

much for joining us for another

794

:

episode of Curious Goldfish.

795

:

Please follow and subscribe to

the podcast and on social media.

796

:

Also, tell your music

loving friends about us too.

797

:

Until next time, stay curious.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube