Shownotes
Self-bullying involves telling yourself negative words or thoughts that make you feel inferior, unloved, incompetent; constantly undermining yourself, and talking bad about yourself.
This negative self-talk is something that most of us experience from time to time, and it comes in many forms.
Listen in for some tips on how we can begin to combat self bullying and replace negative thoughts with more positive ones.
Drink of the week….Smoky Harvest Apple Cider Margarita
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Julie Brown:
Transcripts
I was recently in a hotel room, getting
ready to present my keynote to about
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1500 women from all over the world.
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I was there to change their careers,
to empower them, to network their way
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to more friends, more adventurous,
more influence, and more success.
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And all I could think about was how
fat I felt, how I was a loser, because
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I'd put some weight on and I can't seem
to find the discipline to take it off.
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Welcome to episode one 70 of this
shit works a podcast dedicated to
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all things, networking, relationship
building and business development.
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I'm your host, Julie Brown.
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Speaker author and networking coach.
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And today I am discussing how we can
begin to stop bullying ourselves.
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Maybe this term self
bullying is new to you.
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It was to me.
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I learned about it that very
morning, I referenced in the opening.
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I was in the bathroom in my hotel
room doing my hair and makeup.
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I had my iPad on the counter with me
and I was half listening to the today.
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Show broadcast, being
played through YouTube TV.
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Monica Lewinsky was a guest and she was
talking to Savannah Guthrie about turning
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50 and a new chapter in her career.
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Which she was dedicating
to combating self bullying.
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I mean, Monica, talk about
a person who was bullied
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relentlessly by others for years.
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You know, so what is this self
bullying she was talking about.
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I wondered.
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So I stopped what I was doing and watched.
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Monica highlighted a video from an
experiment where they asked people
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to write down the negative things
they say to themselves daily.
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People wrote down things
like I'm fat, I'm a loser.
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I'm a bad mom.
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I'm a nobody.
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I'm not talented.
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I'm worthless.
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Then.
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With that piece of paper with
all those hateful things on it.
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They were asked then to say those
things to someone they loved their
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mother, husband, brother, child.
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Who had attended the taping
of Vicks experiment with them?
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And this is where it showed how
powerful these words are, because
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these are words that we would never
want to say to somebody we love.
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And yet.
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The course of these words,
play in our heads all the time.
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We speak these words
to ourselves every day.
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And it needs to stop.
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'cause it's hurting us
because it is damaging us.
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But stopping doing this
won't happen overnight.
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It takes time to combat and
lessen the deafening sound.
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These voices make in our heads.
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And it takes time to replace these words
with more beautiful and encouraging ones.
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As I battle with my negative
thoughts about my body and
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the extra weight I've put on.
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I find that I need to remind
myself of all the amazing things
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my body does for me every day.
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It runs it bikes, it paddleboards.
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It does pushups without
putting its knees down.
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It wraps its arms around the people.
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It loves.
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It gives belly rubs to Maddie.
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It's filled with energy that I pour into
every audience I present to end yet.
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I still talk so badly to it every day.
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I still ridicule in debase it.
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This episode is as much
for me as it is for you.
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Because I need to learn these tools.
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I need to learn to stop this behavior
because I want the voice in my head
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to be more encouraging and accepting.
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So.
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Shall we learn together.
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I'm not going to give you.
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Oh, these are the five
tips to soft stop self.
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Bullying.
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Cause I actually don't know what
they are, but I'm going to say,
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here are some tips and these are the
sources that these tips came from.
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And hopefully some will
resonate in work for you.
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Okay.
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So according to Pacific shores
recovery, here are three, three things
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we can do to stop self bullying.
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One recognize it.
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Become aware of it.
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Admit that you have an internal bully that
you are dealing with on a daily basis.
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And then write down all of
the horrific toxic bullshit
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that that bully says to you.
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And then expose it, expose the bully.
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See, I know you're an asshole bully and
I'm not going to tolerate it anymore.
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So those are three tips from that source.
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There's another source I read
up on, um, called I'm just me.
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And they had some other things
we could try, like giving your
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bully a name, perhaps it's Mr.
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Perfect.
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Or a little miss talks.
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A lot of shit.
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Give it a name so you can
adequately address it.
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And then love yourself and define
what makes you worthy and oust.
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Any thoughts that don't ally with the
worthy beliefs you have about yourself.
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And know your strengths and
continue to highlight them.
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I feel this is what I'm
trying to do every day.
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When I thank my body for the
workout, it just did for the
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hugs that gave for the walks.
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It took Maddy on.
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For the energy it brings to my audience.
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According to Katie Couric media, we
need to begin creating new neural
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pathways in our brains by focusing
on creating new productive habits.
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Including positive self talk.
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We are actually forcing tiny tendrils
in neurons to grow in our brain.
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When we do that.
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The more we practice the new habit.
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The more, those neurons connect to
each other and become wired together.
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This rewiring process is
called neuro-plasticity.
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And it just happens to be the
result of this healthy habit,
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this positive self-talk that
you can start doing right now.
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Thinking positive affirmations,
such as I'm beautiful.
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Just the way I am are, or
I'm doing the best I can in
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this moment, or it is enough.
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Go a long way and changing our mental
chatter to a more productive inner
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pep-talk that will leave us happier,
healthier, wiser, and more accomplished.
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Being able to replace a negative
thought with a positive one.
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Once we notice it.
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Is a good predictor of success.
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As we visualize our goals, just like
athletes do and see our true selves more
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clearly, not in a shitty shaded way.
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Our inner bully sees them.
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So.
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After hearing this.
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The choice is up to us.
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We have the choice going forward.
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Do we continue to let the
bully talk down to us?
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Or do we create an anti-bullying
campaign in our own heads?
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Do we continue to give the
bully our lunch money every day?
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Or do we stand up and
say, not today, Satan.
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What.
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Do you think you could do.
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Me included.
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I'm including myself in this.
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If we weren't constantly
talking shit to ourselves.
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Louise hay, motivational author and
founder of hay house publishing puts it.
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Pretty perfectly.
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You've been criticizing
yourself for years.
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She says, and it hasn't worked.
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Try approving of yourself
and see what happens.
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Okay.
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Onto the drink of the week, which I'm
so excited to present you is a smokey
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harvest apple cider margarita, which I
made for a neighborhood party back in.
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Back in October.
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And it was a huge hit.
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If there's no connection to this
podcast theme, I just loved it so much.
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And I wanted to share with you.
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So here's what you're going to need.
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Cinnamon sugar and flaky sea salt
for the rim, which please do this.
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I did this.
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It was so awesome.
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So please do this two ounces of mezcal or
silver tequila, but if you want it smack.
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Smokey.
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It has to be the Moscow half pounds
of orange liquor, four ounces of apple
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cider the juice from half a lime,
one to two teaspoons of maple syrup.
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You know, use more or less,
depending on how sweet your cider is.
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My sweater cider.
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Wasn't very sweet.
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Apple slices, Rosemary and a
cinnamon stick for the garnish.
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What you're going to do
is rim your glass, please.
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Room your glasses.
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One of the funniest
parts of this cocktail.
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With the salted cinnamon sugar
rim, which is just equal parts,
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cinnamon, sugar, and sea salt.
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Then run a lime wedge around
the rim and then, you know, dip
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it in, you know how to do this.
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Combine them as Cal or tequila,
orange liquor, apple cider,
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lime juice, and maple syrup in a
cocktail shaker, add ice and shake.
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Shake, shake, shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake.
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Straight into the glass
garnished with apple slices,
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Rosemary and cinnamon sticks.
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And if you want to get really fancy as
fuck light that cinnamon stick on fire for
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a minute and then like, put that in the.
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In the M cocktail.
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All right, friends.
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That's all for this week.
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If you like what you heard
today, please leave a review
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and subscribe to the podcast.
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Also, please remember to share the podcast
to help it reach a larger audience.
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If you want more of me, Julie
Brown, you can find my book.
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This shit works on Amazon
and Barnes and noble.
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You can find me on
LinkedIn at Julie Brown BD.
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Just let me know where you
found me when you reach out.
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I'm Julie Brown underscore BD
on the Instagram, or you can
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just pop on over to my website.
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Julie Brown bd.com until next week.
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Cheers guys.
