Handling Client Complaints in Coaching: Experiences and Strategies

In this episode, John and Angie delve into the challenging topic of client complaints in the coaching profession.

They share personal anecdotes of dealing with direct and indirect complaints from clients and discuss the emotional impact these experiences had on them.

The discussion covers practical strategies for setting clear expectations with clients, providing session notes, and approaching complaints with empathy and curiosity.

They also touch on the importance of reflecting on feedback, even when it is negative, to improve one's coaching practice.

The episode concludes with advice on handling potentially damaging complaints on social media and the significance of maintaining professionalism while ensuring both the coach and the client can amicably part ways if necessary.

Do you have a question for John & Angie? Thoughts about this episode's topics? Any other feedback? Leave us a voicemail, it's free. Here's the link: https://speakpipe.com/thecoachingclinicpodcast

00:00 Introduction and Lighthearted Banter

01:07 Dealing with Client Complaints: Personal Experiences

03:48 Handling Complaints: Strategies and Reflections

10:25 Setting Expectations and Avoiding Misunderstandings

18:48 Learning from Feedback and Continuous Improvement

27:18 Resolving Complaints and Maintaining Professionalism

35:33 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

John,

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John: Angie.

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Angie: I've got to tell you,

I'm not happy with the service

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you've been providing lately.

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John: Oh no, Angie.

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How can I ever make it up to you?

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Angie: Well, quick foot massage

might help, and then maybe

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you can get some chocolates.

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Oh, and I love my grapes

to be peeled, by the way.

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John: Don't worry.

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I'm on it.

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Angie: You've got until the intro

ends to get this all done for me.

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John: Let's start the show.

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Angie: One of the things I think that

we all deal with as coaches, and it's

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a fear, I think it's like the one thing

we try to avoid, is complaints, right?

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Getting a

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John: We don't like them.

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Angie: No.

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So, let me ask you, have you, I

shouldn't say have you ever, but

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how did you feel the first time

you ever had a client complain?

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John: That boy.

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There's two different versions of that.

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One would be the first time I ever

had a client complain directly to me.

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And another was the first time

I ever had a client complaining

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about me behind my back.

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So different versions of that story.

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And my first experience of a

client complaint was someone

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complaining directly to me on a call.

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It was in my early days of coaching and

it was very much you don't know what the

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F you're talking about, blah, blah, blah,

you're useless as a coach, very much, very

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confrontational, very direct to my face.

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And and I wasn't ready for it.

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It wasn't, I really wasn't

ready to handle that.

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But I did know better than to rise to that

and or react to it in a sort of defensive

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way and was able to calm the situation

down and move it into a, move it into a

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calmer conversation where I was able to

say, look, tell me what's really going on.

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It wasn't so much actually to do with me.

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It was just like, I was there at a time

when her emotions were running high.

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Angie: uh,

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John: And I got it all blurting out as

hate towards me on a coaching call, but

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there were other things going on there.

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Some of it was to do with my

inexperience as a coach at that time.

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But you can't hate on someone

for not having the experience

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that you would like them to have.

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Doesn't help the situation.

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So yeah, we ended up talking about it

and she ended up being transferred to

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work with a different coach from the

organization that I was with at that time.

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And it got resolved.

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But the second time was

somebody complaining about me

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on social media behind my back.

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And That was a bit different

that felt much more like a

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betrayal that was much more

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like I it was hard not to take that

personally because this is having the

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potential to damage me professionally.

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Angie: sure,

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John: and that upset me a lot more

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and cause I couldn't directly confront it.

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So that was that was very, that

was the hardest part of that, not

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being able to directly confront it.

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So yeah, that, that was actually

very very emotionally painful.

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And I would say that one is,

I got very uncomfortable.

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It did get dealt with but

yeah, very unpleasant.

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How about you?

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What was your experience been like that?

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Angie: well, I've had a couple, and

you bring up a few really, few, not

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even just one or two, a few really

good points, like number one, if

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you're working for an organization.

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And they, they say something air

quotes like behind your back or if

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they go out on social media that

can feel really intimidating because

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you might say to yourself geez,

like what happened in the moment?

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So I did have my first experience

was with somebody in the moment.

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And it was so funny cause I think it

was like our third or fourth session.

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And in the first two sessions, she

was just talking about this really

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lousy, semi abusive situation

she was in with her partner.

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And when we came into the next

session, I, went into like, how

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are you, how is everything going?

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And wasn't physical abuse, but it was

definitely like mental, verbal, emotional.

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And because at that point I was really

trying to assess like, does this

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person really need to get therapy?

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Do they need to go to the police?

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I didn't really know.

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So when I asked, she flew off

the handle and she was like, I

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don't want to talk about this.

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I don't know why you

bringing this up to me.

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And in that moment, I think I was able to

like steady the ship because initially I

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was like, holy smokes, who's this person?

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Where's this coming from?

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But then I realized , I

was hitting a pain point

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and she didn't like it.

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And I took a breath kind of what you did

and said, Hey, so what's really going on?

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And it took me almost the entire,

I think we had five minutes

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left to a one hour session.

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And she was like, I'm really sorry.

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I just, I don't know.

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This is really hard for me to talk about.

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And at that point I said to her,

listen, I think that, maybe this is

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a different space that you need to go

into and not specifically in coaching.

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And then I did have somebody

complained about me to an

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organization that I worked for.

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And like you said, that was like a

little kind of, I felt like it was sneaky

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Pete because everything seemed okay.

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So here's what I was saying earlier,

like it really begs that question.

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When you're the coach, I think just

as humans, we immediately go to

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defensive, like what, what did I do?

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Or what are they talking about?

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Maybe not necessarily.

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What did I do?

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And I don't really think I've ever

met a coach that affected somebody

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so negatively that they were like,

wow, this person is really horrible.

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And it's not about an experience.

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That's one thing, but there are

definitely coaches out there who

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are just don't have great coaches

and they don't know how to coach.

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So you really have to take that step

back sometimes and say, what happened?

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We can't blame, we can't immediately

come out of the gate blaming the client.

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But we shouldn't also come

out of it blaming ourselves.

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I think we need to come to

those with curiosity first.

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What do you think of that?

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John: You and I had some chats not that

long ago about an ex client of mine who

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had been getting in touch to complain

about the work that we'd done together.

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And basically his life had gone

to shit after that time, and he

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was blaming the coaching for that.

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And saying that I'd said things

that I'd never said on coaching

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calls and I told him to do things.

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And when he was there, these

are things that I would never

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have told anyone to do anyway.

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Not that you do this on coaching

sessions, but the whole situation

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was, I know you were one of the

first people I talked about it.

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Because it was just like, I don't

even feel like I can respond to it.

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I'm not taking it personally.

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It's it's going to happen.

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It's unpleasant.

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I feel bad for the guy, but I know it's

not the coaching that's caused this.

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And I'm confident enough

in my coaching skills.

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I know what I've said

and what I haven't said.

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To respond would have felt like

defending myself or defending my

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coaching.

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Which I didn't really feel that I needed

to do and also what not beneficial to the

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situation just not it doesn't actually

help So actually you're wrong and this

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is what this is from my perspective.

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This is what really happened But,

for him, that whole situation

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was feeling, feeling real.

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It was very obviously a way to try

and pass responsibility for the state

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that his life had ended up into.

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And this, I guess there was

some kind of thing in his head

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thinking I've hired a coach.

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I've done the stuff you're

supposed to do to be successful.

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Why am I not successful?

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Why has it gone the other way?

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And we could go back and pull that

all apart and figure that out.

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But again.

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I'm not doing that, and I'm not

his coach anymore, and I'm not

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there to help him figure it out.

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And we ended up both saying, as

you pointed out, I think he wants

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more coaching from you, and he

doesn't want to pay for that.

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I think that was exactly right.

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It just, it was like a whole series of

complaint after complaint after complaint

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trying to complain to the company that I'd

worked with him with, complaining to other

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coaches who'd been with that company all

trying to get stuff to come back to me.

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And that I'm, I can't fix this

and I'm not even gonna try.

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But it was, that was more of a

thing of, I just wanna complain

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because I don't actually wanna take

responsibility for my own mess ups.

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Angie: Yeah.

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And I think that's interesting, too.

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Why do we get, why do people complain?

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Most people don't.

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My experience has been 95 98 percent

of the people do not complain.

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you That doesn't mean that

they're always comfortable.

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That doesn't mean that it's easy.

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But I think that there's

two kinds of people, right?

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There's the people who are serious about

coaching and serious about making movement

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and making change and understanding

that change doesn't always go like

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butterflies, rainbows and unicorns.

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Sometimes you uncover a lot in coaching

and that's the beginning of the real work.

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Starting, like that's the beginning of it.

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That's when, and I think that your

person in particular you brought

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him probably to some really hard

truths and instead of butterflies and

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rainbows and unicorns, he probably

felt Oh my gosh, now what do I do?

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This is the beginning.

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I'm, I can't navigate this.

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Something must be wrong.

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Transcribed And again, because you didn't

talk to him, we don't even really know

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that as fact, but it does happen for some

people, they come in maybe sometimes

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they have like unrealistic expectations.

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So I think a great way to avoid that.

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And again, there's

nothing foolproof, right?

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There's no way with the

way that people are, right?

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That we could say, this is the foolproof

way to never get a client complaint.

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Cause that's BS, but we've talked

about right in the beginning, setting

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an expectation and asking them,

what is it you would love to see?

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Why are you in coaching?

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What is it you're looking for?

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And then telling them like, you're a

different kind of coach than me, John.

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So you're, you might say

I'm going to do this.

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This is how I approach things.

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And I'm going to say Hey, Mr.

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John, I am client.

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And I am.

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A very direct coach, I don't

dance around, I don't circle

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the drain, I go straight to it.

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Are you okay with that?

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So that's like probably my first thing, my

first approach to make sure, or not make

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sure, I'm sorry, but do my best to avoid

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John: I think that that situation

does put something away that it

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could be relevant to our listener

of do you always have to deal with

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the complaints that come through?

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As you said, probably few and

far between for the most part,

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because I think if you're finding

you're getting lots of complaints.

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That maybe isn't so much the

clients that might be in that

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might mean that there's something

else that needs to be investigated

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Angie: check the common

denominator please.

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See, you're

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John: gonna find this infrequent I think

that's gonna be no matter how good you

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are how wonderful you are as a coach.

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You're gonna get complaints You're

gonna get people who for some reason

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don't like you And maybe work with

you for a bit and then decide they

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don't like you or have just don't

enjoy their experience with you.

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Is it always appropriate to respond?

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Well, sometimes you have to, sometimes

it is appropriate to respond because

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sometimes a client situation can be saved.

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And so I think when someone who's an

active client work, who is currently

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working with you, if you can resolve

that situation and at least, Come

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to an amicable arrangement, even

if it doesn't end up going, no, the

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coaching relationship can continue.

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You can still usually get it to some point

of, all right, well, we can separate as

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coach and client and be okay with that

in the situation where I talked about,

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it's like someone was bad bath me online

that actually has to be addressed.

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You have to find that person and

say, you need to stop doing this.

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And if you don't stop doing this we're

going to get legal teams involved.

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Which is what it took in that situation

as she took threat of legal action

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and to get her to remove because I

knew exactly who it was, even though

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she was posting under a fake name

and stuff, I knew exactly who it was.

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And and all those posts got removed.

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The fake profile got removed.

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What was really funny was that she was

at the next event that we did in London

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and And saw me and spent pretty much the

whole weekend because it was a weekend

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event trying to avoid me She didn't manage

it, but she did try For a whole weekend,

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Angie: a better person than me.

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John: I didn't make a

scene of it even then

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Angie: yeah, yeah, listen, okay, so

you are better than me because if I

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were to see somebody who went so far

fake profiles and posts and if you

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really are angry, if you really feel

like there's blame, you're not hiding.

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Well, mostly you're not.

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It's so easy to be a troll now.

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I mean, just to.

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See what you wanna say and not

have anybody know who you are.

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I'm not sure though, 'cause

I've never experienced it.

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I'm actually trying to think of

Coach Angie in her best at an

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event where somebody was, saying

some pretty awful things about me.

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I don't know if I could.

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I'm thinking.

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I don't know if I could pretend.

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I guess in the end, I might

have some thoughts going through

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my head like, You know what?

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I really want to walk up to this person

and say, What do you have to say now?

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Right?

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Say it to my face.

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But that probably

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John: I think she was very worried.

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She was very worried.

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Yeah, she was very worried I was gonna

do that 'cause she was with a group of

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people and so I think that's why trying

to hide her face every time she was

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anywhere near me for exactly that reason.

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But I didn't make a thing of it.

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We'd already dealt with the situation

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by that time so there was really no

need to but it was just strange to me

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after someone who had been bad thing

Not just me, but the whole company

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that was working with she should have

been banned from the event She should

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have been and so I mean that Probably

thinking about now if I should have

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arranged for her to get banned from the

event as soon as I saw she was there.

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So I regret that I didn't do that because

I don't really think you want people

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there who have been like that with you.

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But the other situation I was talking

about, that was like well after, The

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other situation was like well after

the fact, to like over a year after

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having worked together, someone's

coming back and saying, My, my lives

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turned to poo because of you, basically.

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There was no benefit to responding

to that, and that's what,

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and I racked myself with it.

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I did compose a response and

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toyed with whether I

should send it or not.

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I guess it was more for me that I did it.

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The long run of that was what

possible benefit is there?

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It's this has to be a self realization

thing for them of getting themselves

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to the point where they can actually

take responsibility for this and

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not be trying to blame someone who

isn't responsible for their life.

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So

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Angie: I want to say this to you though.

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I, cause I was part of that with you.

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And I think that, You handled it

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amazingly because you did process

it when you were sitting there

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composing, some type of response.

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You were also taking a moment with

yourself as a coach and saying, okay,

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wait, let me look at this situation.

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Let me show up with curiosity.

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You weren't just like bashing the

person and going, Hey, cut it out.

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You're wrong.

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This isn't, that's not my fault.

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You did spend, I wouldn't say a

considerable amount of time, but you

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and I had a few conversations about it.

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And at the end of the day, because

of the amount of, and the ways this

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person was coming at you first,

they were like, they were trying to

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get in every orifice of your world.

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Okay.

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To get to you.

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And at the end of the day, I

think that you did the right

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thing as a professional coach

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And initially we're like, I'm not

really sure what are your thoughts?

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And you looked at it

from the bird's eye view.

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And that's what I said

earlier, like curiosity.

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We can't just assume that it's not

about right or wrong sometimes, right?

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Sometimes it's about, I have a

dissatisfied customer client and I

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either need them to be satisfied.

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Or I need to part ways with them in a

way that doesn't make them feel rejected

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because I did that once with another

client and I, it was like my second

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session with her and she was , Oh,

like really like you're triggering me.

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I was like, Whoa, like I stopped it

like 10 minutes into the second session.

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I was triggering her and I'm not

saying I wasn't, but I wasn't sure, I

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didn't know her well enough yet to

know . Where are the boundaries, where

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do I have to kind of tread lightly?

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And I said, and in very respectfully,

I said, listen, of course I apologize.

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This isn't about triggering what triggered

you and I was being super curious.

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And then finally, after about 15, 20

minutes of listening to how freaking

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horrible I was, I said how about this?

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Like I actually have a couple of coaches

that are colleagues of mine that I

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think might actually be a great fit.

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Why don't you?

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Interview both of them and

then guess what she did.

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She lost her flipping mind

because now I was rejecting her.

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This is not a coaching client.

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This is a therapy client, right?

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This is

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a patient, somebody who needs,

and that's okay, but sometimes it

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does happen like that and you're

like, all right, danger, danger.

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John: and I.

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You and I are going to do a whole episode

about that at some point, because yeah,

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I've had some of those situations as well.

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And yeah, yeah, that's

completely different.

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But I tell

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Angie: let me ask you something though.

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Transcribed

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This isn't really, I think this is, I

think the first time in the, maybe the

341

second time because that's probably only a

handful of times where I've had an issue.

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Did a complaint affect you in

upcoming coaching sessions?

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Did anything change for

you in those moments?

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Uh.

345

Oh yeah.

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John: I felt, I felt a bit of

a need to qualify things more.

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Do you get what I'm saying with that?

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, I felt like I had to be very qualified

and very specific in what I'm saying.

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like, reducing potential

misinterpretation.

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And yeah, so I guess a little bit

protectionist, but not, I wouldn't

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get to a point where I wouldn't

still say what needs to be said, but.

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I definitely felt I was being

far more deliberate and so, I

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don't see it as a bad thing.

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I think that might have, it might've

actually been a good thing to

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come out of that whole situation.

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Cause you were saying about

taking a look at that whole

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thing and like pulling it apart.

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The reason for doing that

was like, is there something

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there that I can learn from?

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I, in my head, I'm saying like, Oh yeah,

the stuff he's saying about my coaching,

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not really valid and stuff he's saying

that I said I told him to do and was like

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essentially saying I've directed his life.

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I mean, there was some serious

accusations in there and I knew

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that they weren't true, but I still

had to look at it and say, is there

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something I can learn from this?

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Is there some way, can I look back

at the situation saying, are there,

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is there ways that I could have

handled things better on those calls?

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Were there things that I could have made

much clearer in those times, which is

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possibly the case, but still doesn't put

me in a situation where it's like, oh

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yeah, you really screwed up on that one.

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It's I didn't feel like that at all.

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Like, I'm confident enough

in who I am and what I do.

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But yeah I do think we should always

take a look and see if there's something

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to learn from the situation and

something we can grow from with it.

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Angie: Absolutely.

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It's the black and white.

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So here's the scenario with you.

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Yeah.

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You knew that things that this person

was saying, black and white, coach John

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did or did not do and or say these things.

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And you could say to yourself, Nope,

that didn't, did not happen, right?

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You know, there's the black and white.

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We also know as coaches though,

there's a very subjective piece

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to what we do in every session.

385

That's the part that you're referring to.

386

But that's the part

where you had to go back.

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And have put in a, like,

serious reflection on, Okay,

388

what could I have done?

389

I knew the client.

390

Was there a way for me to do

something better for the next time?

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Because the bottom line was, even

if you did give this birth, even if

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you said, Hey, here's all your money

back, they'd still be, slashing you.

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Or you

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John: you what, yeah, that brings

up something really interesting for

395

me because as I did look back on

that stuff and I was thinking, Hey,

396

there was some expectation from this

client that I could, I should somehow

397

have said, stop, don't do that.

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That's wrong.

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And, as I was thinking back onto

the sessions, I was thinking.

400

I knew that he wasn't really fully doing

the stuff that he said he was doing.

401

And I knew that he wasn't, that

he was maybe making things sound

402

better than they really were.

403

And, trying to make himself sound better

or more successful than he really was.

404

So I knew that stuff was going on.

405

And I look back and think, could

I have challenged that more?

406

Yeah, I absolutely could have.

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There was like, was there stuff I could

have learned from those situations?

408

Yeah, there was stuff I can learn from it.

409

I have a friend, I don't

know if he still does this.

410

He still does live training,

but you're a super nice guy.

411

And in live training sessions, you can

generally do feedback forms, right?

412

If you've ever done that kind of

thing, generally there's feedback

413

forms and would have somebody go

through all the feedback forms.

414

And pull out anything negative

before he looks at it,

415

Angie: Oh,

416

John: which, yeah, which I don't see the

point of it's like there, there is stuff

417

to learn from negative feedback, even

if it's, even if it's quite atrocious,

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negative feedback, even if it's not

constructive, there's still stuff you

419

can potentially learn from it and you

shouldn't ignore it because it gives

420

you, it starts to take away the reality

of, Not everyone has the same experience

421

in these things as we say, most of the

feedback, most of the stuff you get

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people don't complain and aren't going

to come out to you, but I don't think

423

ignoring negative criticism or feedback

in itself is a particularly good strategy

424

for your own growth and development.

425

Angie: no.

426

And you know what's so interesting

is I worked for a pretty big, you

427

know this, I worked for a pretty

big coaching company and there were

428

assessments for the client that I

never saw after each and every session.

429

And it was a series of questions,

and it was ratings, right?

430

1 to 10 ratings.

431

How would you rate your

session with Coach Angie?

432

I don't even know.

433

At the end of the month, they would say,

Your, oh, your average rating was 8.

434

9 or 9.

435

6.

436

I don't think it was ever under 9.

437

I'm just saying.

438

Whoop, whoop.

439

Just saying.

440

But I felt that it was unfair that

the company didn't share them with me.

441

Like the specific pieces, where

could I learn and where am I

442

doing well so that I could even

expand on that and utilize that.

443

So it's great when you work for a

company and they have metrics, it sucks

444

if they don't share them with you.

445

But even for yourself as a coach,

we shouldn't wait to do a check

446

in until we get a complaint or

somebody's I love you at the end

447

and I want to keep going because how

do we really know how we're doing?

448

Again, this is not to say that.

449

We're at blame and if we can't keep

people happy that means we're not

450

good coaches because that's crap.

451

That's not true But we do I do think

that the more we get in the habit of

452

Because the question I asked you earlier.

453

Hey, how did it affect you?

454

It affected me as well.

455

I definitely was hyper focused for I

don't know, several sessions after that

456

initial, that one person who was like,

why are you talking to me about this?

457

I don't know, because it's a

pain point, like being a little

458

facetious right now, but because

what do you want to talk about?

459

What would you rather talk about?

460

So that's honestly, when something

negative does happen, if you don't

461

have something in place where you can

give your clients the opportunity to.

462

Share with you.

463

And it's hard because they don't

always want to be honest either, right?

464

They're afraid to say things.

465

They're a little intimidated, but

you need to have, we need to have

466

something in place where we do get to

check in with ourselves to make sure

467

that, we're still doing things at the

highest level that we possibly can.

468

In that moment, we have to

keep growing and changing.

469

You're not the same coach you

were when you first started.

470

I certainly am not the same

coach I was when I first started.

471

Why are you laughing?

472

John: I feel like, I feel like

my years of customer service

473

experience helped me for being able

to handle stuff like that as well.

474

Let me just a little piece of trivia, but

475

in the airline world that I used to

be in, who do you think, out of which

476

country, which country do you think

complained the most in terms of like write

477

in complaints to their, To the airline.

478

This is specific to a very

wonderful British airline.

479

which country do you think wrote

him with the most complaints?

480

Angie: United States.

481

John: No Japan.

482

Angie: I was gonna flip and say Japan.

483

I was gonna say it, dang

484

John: And the main reason is because

they're too polite to complain

485

about anything on the flight.

486

So they'll, so they'll write in afterwards

about things that they're not happy with.

487

And I'm sure even the complaints

are pretty polite, you know?

488

Uh, but yeah just an interesting thing.

489

It's kind of easy to, in customer

service scenarios, usually to

490

deal with the on spot complaints.

491

Because you can either either I can

handle that right here and now, or I can

492

put you on to whoever can help resolve

this and, pass it on to somebody else.

493

And that's probably the situation

I mostly find myself in now.

494

I don't come in, don't come

across that many complaint

495

situations and sort of things.

496

And there's something telling some

horror stories today that people

497

thinking, Oh my goodness, I'm going to

have to deal with this kind of stuff.

498

You may not.

499

You may not have anything like

as bad as some of the stuff

500

that they've had come through.

501

But you will get some people who aren't

happy or will complain, whether it's like

502

a course that you've got, or whether it's

a group coaching or one on one coaching.

503

People end up complaining and I do

think you have to do something to

504

resolve these things because if you

allow people to leave pissed off.

505

Then they are likely to take to

social media and say, actually, this

506

is a bad product, a bad company.

507

I'm unhappy.

508

They took my money.

509

They didn't sort anything

out, blah, blah, blah.

510

And that stuff happens.

511

And so I would much rather, if someone's

been in one of my programs, I'd much

512

rather have a meeting with them.

513

I set things up from the start.

514

Now, if there's a problem or you're

not happy with the program, you don't

515

till you get the results from it.

516

I want you to tell me.

517

And we'll give you your money back and

we'll part as friends, is that okay?

518

Can't give you the time back,

but I can give you the money back

519

because the damage to your online

reputation is potentially too bad.

520

Some of this stuff will be

situationally dependent, of course.

521

But I've never

522

really had a situation where

someone's just complained

523

for the sake of complaining.

524

Angie: Yeah.

525

John: Not really.

526

Angie: I think that there's I think

that, you know, me and my rules of

527

thumb, I think a really good rule

of thumb is two, three things.

528

Always set the expectation in the very

beginning when you don't know each

529

other yet and they're still excited.

530

Number two, I always

provide notes to them.

531

Always.

532

Today, we discussed this, and

I'll even say, this made you

533

uncomfortable blah biddy blah.

534

Like I put that into those notes.

535

And the third thing is that if I

do get a complaint, I just show

536

up with empathetic curiosity.

537

That's the phrase that I use in my head

, all right, before I even start in my

538

head defending myself, cause I'm not even

really sure what the hell's going on yet.

539

Like you said, have a conversation,

and in that conversation, I would

540

literally be like, if it were you,

John, say you were my client, I'd

541

say, listen, hey, what's going on?

542

Let's just talk about it.

543

And I think when I come, even with that

same energy and tonality that I just used,

544

I feel like when I approach it that way,

or if I approach things that way, I really

545

get, more bees with the honey because they

don't feel like they're being placated.

546

They don't want to be, right?

547

They don't want to be placated,

but they believe because it's the

548

truth that my intention is to come

to this and understand them because

549

that's really what it comes down to.

550

John: Yeah,

551

and I think that's the right attitude.

552

Angie: what's that?

553

John: I'd say that's the right attitude

because I think the way some people

554

sometimes go with this and I did make this

mistake early on is to start trying to

555

bend over backwards to make them happy.

556

Not literally, of course, but

just, just really going out of

557

your way to try and placate them

at whatever cost or do whatever.

558

Like we were joking at the

start about foot massages and

559

chocolates and stuff like that.

560

It's that do whatever you need

to do to win them back over.

561

And it's not, it shouldn't be

about that because that starts

562

to become unreasonable then.

563

And it starts to give away your power as

a coach and and as a business operator.

564

That's not the situation you want

to get into, but you do want to make

565

sure first of all, does the person

complaining have a valid complaint?

566

Angie: Right.

567

John: And if they do, then you

should hear them out, as you say,

568

be empathetically curious about

it and get to the bottom of it.

569

Can it be resolved to

everyone's satisfaction?

570

It's going to be either yes, it can.

571

And we can continue working together.

572

Yes, it can, but we can't

continue working together.

573

No, it can't.

574

But here's something we

can do to at least try.

575

put an end to the situation

or, stop the complaint.

576

Angie: Yeah.

577

It really needs to be both.

578

Like it has to have, I hate

to use this like 80s phrase,

579

but it needs to be win win.

580

You shouldn't.

581

I remember thinking that there was

that one client that was like, yeah,

582

why are you talking about this?

583

Like high pain point.

584

I could have bent over backwards and

split quarters for this person and

585

I was never going to make them feel

what they needed to feel because

586

they didn't belong in coaching.

587

That was the truth.

588

They did not.

589

Maybe eventually, but they had a

lot of things they needed to work on

590

first and I did do an assessment and

I thought to myself maybe the next

591

time, what would I do differently?

592

I always say myself, what

would I do differently?

593

And it's along the lines.

594

I don't want to be redundant

of what you just said.

595

It's just assessing, you have to be able

as a coach to have that a bird's eye view.

596

Nope.

597

Um, of how you're coaching them in the

moment, but also after the fact, right?

598

Did I get caught in the moment?

599

Because we're working in the moment.

600

We're not working off of a script.

601

So sometimes we might, make

a mistake or, in the moment

602

have made not the best choice.

603

I do think again, those three approaches

or mindsets, practices help them.

604

alleviate a lot of that.

605

I think that's why I don't get a lot

of complaints is because, I set the, I

606

set this to this, and here's the table.

607

This is dinner.

608

Come and eat or don't eat.

609

If you don't like the way I coach, then

I'll happily help you find somebody else.

610

You're laughing because I'm saying it to

you with my like Northeasterner kind of

611

John: laughing, I'm laughing because

somebody listening, I think, oh,

612

you've dealt with a lot of complaints.

613

Is that, well, that's a handful

really in a 15 year coaching career.

614

It really is a handful of complaints.

615

And yeah, one of them

is fairly recent, but.

616

Generally it is, it's not that much

and fairly resolvable or the complaints

617

end up being about logistical

things that I can't do much about,

618

like, no availability and things

619

Angie: Sure.

620

John: always do a lot about, but

it's still, it can still be valid

621

concerns and complaints for people.

622

Can you, again, can you

get into a resolution?

623

You can always, I think

you can say win win.

624

It's I think you can generally

get to a position where everyone's

625

at least can part as friends.

626

It may not necessarily feel like a win

win, but it's, I think that is the best

627

win you can get if someone really decides,

I'm going to stomp my feet and scream

628

the loudest until you resolve my problem.

629

Otherwise there, there are these people

who are like, I'm going to take to social

630

media and I'm going to make sure that

631

you're, you And your company,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

632

That's out there and some people may

actually even follow through on that.

633

But

634

Angie: Yeah.

635

John: I do think you can, you

can generally reason with people

636

and get, again, to a satisfactory

point of closure where you just

637

say, okay, things haven't, maybe haven't

worked out well, but let's let's take

638

this path, part this way as friends, shake

639

hands and go.

640

Can't always be done.

641

So sometimes you may just

have to accept the situation's

642

just not going to get better.

643

You can't resolve the problem.

644

The person maybe even doesn't

want to resolve the problem, and

645

you just have to deal with it.

646

And in more extreme cases, it could

lead to some legal issues for you.

647

You might refer back to our

episode on insurance, so you might

648

Angie: Insurance

649

people.

650

John: have some cover.

651

Angie: Absolutely.

652

Absolutely.

653

Because that just helps

you keep your mind right.

654

When something does come up I

think that's really the end of it.

655

That's my approach.

656

I have a little three step approach.

657

You can't salvage every relationship.

658

You can't be successful every

single time because the unknowns

659

are that piece of coaching.

660

That's

661

John: Yeah,

662

Angie: is.

663

Right.

664

So

665

John: complaints.

666

You probably won't get that many

of them but but be prepared.

667

Be prepared and know how you're gonna

handle them as they arise and don't

668

get defensive about it and be curious

and listen to people and find the

669

most amicable way forward that everyone

can at least come away feeling that

670

they've been heard, they got what

they needed and can move on from it.

671

Angie: Right.

672

Don't focus on being right.

673

Right.

674

Your customer service.

675

My customer service.

676

Well, my was more sales, but it was, the

customer isn't always right, but somehow

677

John: Well,

678

Angie: they should always be satisfied.

679

John: that's a good philosophy

for life though, isn't it?

680

You can be right or you can be happy.

681

Yeah.

682

Angie: Yeah.

683

No.

684

John: well next time we're gonna talk

about a somewhat different topic of

685

how to package your coaching sessions

and then it's something that People are

686

going to be interested in these like

lifetime value clients and things like

687

that So that's going to be a fun and

possibly somewhat shorter conversation.

688

But yeah, I think it's been an

interesting chat to talk about this

689

kind of stuff, and I hope it doesn't

leave anyone nervous about about

690

their coaching life and career for it.

691

Angie: Yeah.

692

No.

693

It's just part of it.

694

It's just part of being in business.

695

Any business where you provide a

service, there's always opportunity

696

for people to not be happy.

697

You just have to handle it like

a professional and know that, you

698

can affect the outcomes, period.

699

You have some level of control over that.

700

John: So do you have questions

about complaints, about dealing

701

with complaints, handling with them,

what to do in particular situations?

702

Maybe you've got a specific situation

that you want a bit of guidance around, or

703

maybe you have other questions around your

coaching business or Particular client

704

situations that you have questions about.

705

It was a voicemail.

706

You can do that for free.

707

You can go to speak, pipe, speak, pipe.

708

com forward slash the

coaching clinic podcast.

709

You can find the link in the show

notes, leave us a voice message.

710

And if it's a good one, we

might just feature you on the

711

show, but that's it from me and

712

Angie: woo.

713

John: We'll see

714

Angie: woo.

715

John: very

716

soon.

717

Angie: All right.

718

Bye bye.