What if the only way through grief… was straight through it?

This week, we sat down with April Barbour-Capps, the heart behind Johnston County’s SECU Hospice House and Camp Courage—a free program helping children navigate the unimaginable. How do you explain loss to a 6-year-old? How do you help families carry grief without being crushed by it?

In this conversation we uncover why Camp Courage exists, how hospice care is evolving, and what it really means to face loss together as a community.

Before we get to that, I'd like to ask you to like, follow, subscribe to this podcast wherever you see it, whether it be on Apple, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok, LinkedIn, or any of the other social media channels of The Best Johnston County Podcast. The Best Johnston County Podcast comes out every single Monday and has now for almost two years.

So go back and listen to some of our previous guests. We've had most of the county commissioners, we've had a lot of elected officials, small business owners county manager, Rick Hester county Parks Director, Adrian O'Neal. Lot of great people have been on this podcast. If you love Johnston County as much as I do.

This is the podcast for you. So be listing in, go back and list some of the previous episodes. It's a lot of fun. We enjoy bringing it to you, and I think you'll learn a lot. Welcome April.

April Barbour-Capps: Thank you.

Jonathan Breeden: I think I got the title right?

April Barbour-Capps: You did.

Jonathan Breeden: I had to practice before we started.

April Barbour-Capps: You did? You did.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay. I got, it's a. That's a lot. That's a, that's a long title. So anyway, I was trying to, I get these titles mixed up, but at least, and I didn't get, I didn't call you Capps Barbour.

Jonathan Breeden: I was gonna do that too. So it's Barbour-Capps. So anyway all right. So, state your name and, and what you do.

April Barbour-Capps: Yes. So I'm April Barbour-Capps. I'm a social worker and the bereavement coordinator for SECU Hospice House and our home hospice program, which is UNC Health, Johnston, home Care and Hospice. So I'm the social worker and bereavement coordinator for both of those.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay. And what does that mean?

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah, so good question. So part of a care team, hospice in general is a team of individuals, of course. So social work is one component of that interdisciplinary team. And as part of the conditions of participation for Medicare, we have to two offer bereavement services for 13 months following a hospice patient's death. But even more so, we offer community bereavement services as part of those conditions of participation for Medicare, and a lot of our community doesn't know that.

as well. Offering just supportive services, resources short-term counseling, you know, all the support

that that comes from hospice.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay, so how did you end up in this? I know you're from Four Oaks, you went to Campbell, so how did you get started getting into, I mean social

work and then in the bereavement business?

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah,

graduate degree in community

counseling.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay. I got you. And you've been with Johnston Memorial Hospital, now UNC

Health for 30 years.

April Barbour-Capps: 30 years. 30 years. I was an intern there in my undergrad. and immediately

Jonathan Breeden: Okay. And Have you been doing bereavement the whole time?

April Barbour-Capps: For the most part, yes. When I was hired I was hired in initially a discharge planning position, but that was brief. I immediately transitioned over to our home hospice. 'cause at the time we didn't have hospice house then. So worked our home hospice side, pretty much through the hospital of fluctuated between case management.

Home hospice and the inpatient hospice the entire time I've been at Johnston.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay. Alright. Well, I mean that's, that's a long time and you've seen a lot of change in that hospital.

April Barbour-Capps: Yes, yes.

Jonathan Breeden: From a small community hospital in rural area,

April Barbour-Capps: yes.

Jonathan Breeden: To being part of one of the larger hospital systems in this part of the country.

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah. The growth has been

amazing. Amazing to watch

Jonathan Breeden: you enjoy, working with the UNC Health team now.

April Barbour-Capps: I do.

Jonathan Breeden: And, and the resources they brought,

my own community.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, that's cool.

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So, let's talk a little bit about, so Camp Courage is a camp for children that are going through grief. Where did that ideal come

from? How does it work?

So out of that group, recognizing that there's not a lot of grief resources for children in our county and there's not and so especially not resources that are free of charge, Camp Courage is made possible through UNC through our hospital foundation, through donations from our community, specifically for the hospice fund and camp courage.

public safety. We have volunteers from other therapists in our community, from school counselors, from our own social workers and counselors and our hospice volunteers. It's just a a great team of people, that pull together that day to, to put on this program

for children. It occurs outdoors, so we always say extra pairs for great weather. We've never been rained out. Knock on wood. But we use nature and we use outdoors as part of the way to help children learn how to

navigate grief.

Jonathan Breeden: So what are some things that everybody can do to navigate grief better, whether it be a child or an adult?

And so just trying to tap into any and every aspect that may bring you peace, may bring you joy, may create a diversion for you when you're struggling or stressed about grief and also opening the door to make it okay to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about grief and death. Nobody wants to talk about it but it is necessary and it also helps with coping to open that door to say it's okay to have a conversation about death and dying and about grief and loss, and realize that other people are walking that path too.

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. Well, and I, I think that's important. 'cause I think a lot of people, they

wanna bottle it up.

April Barbour-Capps: Mm-hmm.

help the situation, I don't believe.

April Barbour-Capps: No. We tell people all the time. You can tuck it back. You absolutely can tuck grief back. You can tuck it back, but at some point it will rise to the surface. And if you've tucked it back, when it does rise to the surface, it'll be like a volcano erupting versus. Having

faced it head on we tell people there's only one way through grief and it's straight through the middle of it.

You can't go around it, you can't go under it. You can't go over it. There is no

way except straight through the middle.

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. And you know, well, you know, sometimes we have to deal with death in family law because I mean, sometimes our clients. Kill themselves.

April Barbour-Capps: Sure, sure.

Jonathan Breeden: Or they kill their partners.

Or they kill their children.

wanted to do is, okay. Did I do something wrong?

April Barbour-Capps: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: Could, could I have handled this case? Yeah. Differently? Could I have done something? Yeah. And ultimately I couldn't. Right? Yeah. Like I was just a lawyer. I was in their lives for some short period of time. Right. you know, I didn't cause it, but I, you know, I did want to sort of. initially blame myself when it was happening.

April Barbour-Capps: Sure.

Jonathan Breeden: I was a young, young man. I didn't quite understand it, but you know, I learned to process it and,

and deal

with it and realized that that, that I didn't do it right. Yeah. Like these people had whatever problems they had and it is, and you know, we have to work our young attorneys, you know, fortunately we had

a, we had a, you know, not too long ago where we had some you know, family members get killed in a domestic violence situation. And it, it's a lot.

April Barbour-Capps: Sure.

Jonathan Breeden: It's, and enough to be able to. To process. If you wanna do family law, you gotta get used to it. You know what I mean? Right. The other thing we see here is, I don't know, it's interesting is

that I think a divorce causes grief, right? Like I think you think this,

April Barbour-Capps: it's a loss

Jonathan Breeden: sort of a,

April Barbour-Capps: it's a loss.

Jonathan Breeden: It's a loss. It's a significant loss. Yes. Maybe not the loss of

I don't know that's the last phase or what you call it, but like You're over it or whatever.

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Talk a little bit about the phases and how they work.

April Barbour-Capps: Yep. So I'll definitely say I'm glad you used that terminology. 'cause we always tell folks there is no over it

Jonathan Breeden: Okay.

April Barbour-Capps: There's a carrying it with

you. And a carrying it with you in a more healthy manner. Like that's the goal of grief is to be able to remember, but with less pain than what you are experiencing. In the moment,

And that's use is, it just becomes a lighter experience if, but definitely around since the concept of hospice, since the Middle Ages. so comfort, care, dignity, you know, quality of life. Those things have been around quite some time, but, you know, with, with grief itself, those stages are so fluid. Like I tell people, you, Elizabeth Cooper Ross was one of the pioneers in, in talking about those stages, you know, bargaining and anger and acceptance and denial. The thing about those stages is they're not pretty and you don't go through one and then two, and then three, and then four. You

may go through four, back up to one, two, then to five, and then back up to one again. It's very fluid as you grieve. You will not go through those stages pretty, it won't be like textbook.

you will fluidly go in and out of those stages throughout grief. Okay?

Jonathan Breeden: That is interesting and it is interesting, you know, in, in a divorce context where, you know, a lot of times, you know, we're, we're talking to a a, you know, if we're talking to the spouse that wants a divorce, they have gone through those stages while they're in it wants a divorce. They have gone through those stages while they're, whether they should have gone going through it. Right.

Which means we could end up being

Jonathan Breeden: the target of some of the, the anger. mm-hmm

and frustration.

April Barbour-Capps: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: That is part of the grieving process of the loss of the relationship.

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: That we didn't have anything to do with

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah. you know, so.

Absolutely.

Jonathan Breeden: So we do, we do you, you're always cognizant of that right. Loss, I mean, loss is loss and

April Barbour-Capps: Yeah. But there are are multiple different kinds of losses,

Jonathan Breeden: correct

April Barbour-Capps: Absolutely. Multiple different kinds.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

So talk about what it's purpose is. How people use it. Does it cost?

We try to keep those things camouflaged and make it look more like a home. Your, your bedroom at home. We do still have an interfaith chapel. We have a children's playroom. We have a large family kitchen where families can come and, and have a meal together and if their loved one's able to get outta bed and we're able to get them in a wheelchair, they can go have, we've had.

Those meditation rooms are designed to just provide peace and comfort and a quiet time, a place for them to, to just be, our staff, utilize that some too, because as you would imagine, taking care of dying people every day is not an easy job. But it is an important one and, and we're rewarded in other ways not address rehearsal.

As I say about hospice. We get one chance. There's no do-overs. You get one opportunity to get it right for the patient and the family, and so staff are very committed to trying to make sure it's as positive of an energy as possible when we're dealing with these patients and families. No one likes to talk about hospice.

No one likes to talk about death and dying, but the fact that we've received you in our facility means that you are faced with that. You and I spoke before the camera was on that people do graduate from hospice, so it happens.

April Barbour-Capps: hospice provides care for lots of different diagnoses. So a lot of times we don't see the graduation and care with our cancer diagnoses because that typically takes. The, the decline. But Alzheimer's disease, sometimes instate heart disease or endstage liver disease, sometimes we think, or maybe they've had an event, a hospitalization, and maybe they've declined in their eating and their drinking and we think, okay, this is it. And then they come to us and we give such great tender loving and care that they wind up improving and getting better. And then we have to help them get to the next place of care. That's, whether That's, home or rehab or whatever that might be. And we help them get to that next place. We don't just tell families, you know great see you later. We help them find what that next level of care is. But we do have people that graduate. We do, right.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, and, and, and to stay in the hospital's house, you said the cost is $95 a day,

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Well, the last question I'll ask you is there's more than one hospice provider in Johnston County, right?

Yes, there are. Um, And the hospital is one of them.

Yes. It is. Or U UNC Health is

one,

April Barbour-Capps: correct? It is the best one.

Jonathan Breeden: It's the best one, right? It's the best one. Because it employs April That's

Jonathan Breeden: So how could people reach out to you and find out about Camp Courage? Yeah, which is coming up real soon. You do it once a year?

April Barbour-Capps: Once a year. September 27th at Sonlight Farms in Kinley and you can find information on the hospital website. If you are interested in registering your child or getting more information, can call me directly.

Jonathan Breeden: Okay.

Jonathan Breeden: So born and raised in Johnson County, been here your whole life. You said you've only moved a hundred feet. I know. Three times in a hundred feet each. times. time. Hundred feet of I know, right in For Oaks. What do you love most about Johnston County?

April Barbour-Capps: The sense of community, I would say. I was born and raised on a family farm. My dad was a farmer. The sense of community for Oak still has a huge sense of community. And even though Clayton and all its growth and some other places with all its growth, I still think that is something that sets us apart that most. Times you will find someone, you know? that's true. Yeah. And I just feel like that sets us aside from some larger places. Well, that's great.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, we'd like to thank April Barbour-Capps for being our guest on this week's episode of The Best Johnston County Podcast.

That's the end of today's episode of Best of Johnston County, a show brought to you by the trusted team at Breeden Law Office. We thank you for joining us today and we look forward to sharing more interesting facets of this community next week. Every story, every viewpoint adds another thread to the rich tapestry of Johnston County.

If the legal aspects highlighted raised some questions, help is just around the corner at www. breedenfirm. com.