Shownotes
Episode 219 Frederick Dudek | Business Prosperity Advisor
Esther Stewart, founder of Cotnowl, reveals why most client-acquisition strategies fail — not from bad tactics, but from a lack of belief, focus, and fit. She shares how committing to one ad-driven system, qualifying leads honestly, and following up consistently turns clients into lifelong partners and referral sources.
Why This Conversation Matters
Most service entrepreneurs and SMBs don't have a lead problem — they have a follow-through problem. They split their attention across too many marketing channels, sell to whoever will say yes instead of who actually fits, and let great client relationships go quiet the moment the invoice is paid. Esther Stewart's path from ultra-high-net-worth wealth management into building her own attraction-marketing business shows what changes when a founder commits to one belief-aligned system and treats client relationships as ongoing partnerships rather than one-time transactions.
Direct Answer: Esther Stewart, founder of Cotnowl, explains that predictable client acquisition comes from committing fully to one belief-aligned marketing channel, qualifying prospects for fit before the sales call, and consistently following up so past clients and referrals keep compounding into new revenue instead of quietly leaking away.
Key Takeaways
- Belief drives conversion. If you — or your prospect — don't believe the strategy will work, it won't. Screen for belief and address mindset before you start optimizing tactics.
- One fully committed channel beats three half-hearted ones. Esther tested email drip campaigns, LinkedIn, and paid ads, but paid ads — run with full conviction — became the channel that actually scaled her business.
- Qualify for fit before you sell. Esther now states the exact strategy and expectations before the sales call so mismatched prospects self-select out, protecting both the relationship and her time.
- Bad-fit referrals build more trust than forced sales. Frederick's own story shows that redirecting a mismatched prospect to a competitor created a superfan who later sent easier, faster-closing business his way.
- Follow-up is where most revenue quietly leaks. Businesses that never re-engage past customers around key events or dates leave a "gold mine" of repeat and referral revenue untapped.
- Listening, not talking, is the real relationship skill. Removing ego and letting a frustrated client "deflate the balloon" first — as in Frederick's HP story — turns confrontation into partnership.
- Direct mail is underused precisely because inboxes are crowded. Since spam laws don't apply to postal mail, a postcard or handwritten note can cut through digital noise other channels can't.
Discover What’s Quietly Costing Your Business Revenue—and What to Fix First.
Key Insights to Share
"If you don't believe something will work for you, it will not work." — Esther Stewart, Founder of Cottnowl, From Business Superfans® Advantage, Ep. 219
Timestamps
0:40 — Esther Stewart's path from Merrill Lynch to founding Cotnowl — How an accidental finance career led to building her own attraction-marketing agency.
5:57 — Building the Morgan Stanley marketing system under SEC restrictions — Why understanding regulatory constraints early shaped Esther's later ad-first strategy.
9:05 — Why paid ads outperformed email and LinkedIn for client acquisition — How to find the one channel worth fully committing to.
9:51 — The belief filter Esther now uses before every sales call — How stating the strategy upfront screens out bad-fit prospects before they cost you time.
12:12 — A client Esther didn't know had already converted — How an automated funnel can capture and nurture leads you never see coming.
18:22 — Treating front-line staff as "directors of first impressions" — Why the team touching customers daily is part of the growth engine, not separate from it.
19:23 — Turning a lost sale into a referral machine — How redirecting a bad-fit prospect to a competitor created faster, easier future sales.
24:48 — The "deflating the balloon" strategy for angry clients — How letting a client vent first turned a $500K refund threat into an expanded sale.
29:38 — The hidden cost of never following up with past customers — Why failing to re-engage past clients is one of the biggest sources of leaked revenue.
37:03 — Why direct mail still cuts through when inboxes can't — An overlooked channel for attraction marketing precisely because it can't be spammed.
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Freddy D’s Take
sther's story lands on something I see service entrepreneurs get wrong constantly: they treat marketing like a buffet instead of a commitment. She tried email, LinkedIn, and paid ads — and the moment she stopped splitting her energy and went all-in on the channel that actually worked, everything compounded. That's the belief piece she talks about; it's not woo-woo, it's focus.
What I appreciated most, though, was her point about qualifying for fit before the sale. I've walked away from deals that weren't right for the customer, and it's cost me nothing — it's actually created some of my fastest, easiest sales down the road, because that redirected prospect became an advocate instead of a bad review waiting to happen.
Her story about the client she didn't even know had converted through her own funnel is a perfect example of what happens when your acquisition system — not just your hustle — is doing the work of reaching new people and turning them into long-term partners. If you're still relying on referrals and hope, this conversation is your nudge to build something more predictable.
One Action
This week, pick the one marketing channel that has actually produced results for you — even modest ones — and put everything else on pause for 30 days so you can fully commit to it instead of splitting your attention three ways. While you're at it, pull up your customer list and send one personal note or email to a past client you haven't spoken with in the last six months; that follow-up alone often surfaces the next sale you didn't know was waiting. If you want a second set of eyes on where your revenue might be leaking, the free Revenue Leak Score at RevenueReactor.AI is a fast way to find out.
Resources
Cottnowl — Esther Stewart's attraction-marketing agency, helping founders and thought leaders build belief-aligned paid advertising systems. (cotnowlofficial.com — spelling human review required)
Esther Stewart's YouTube channel — referenced as a free resource; specific URL not given in the transcript (human review required)
Creating Business Superfans — Frederick Dudek's bestselling book, referenced by Frederick during the conversation
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About the Guest
Esther Stewart is the founder of Cotnowl, an attraction-marketing agency that helps thought leaders and service-based founders build belief-aligned paid advertising systems to attract ideal-fit clients. She spent years in high-net-worth wealth management at Merrill Lynch and Morgan Stanley before leaving corporate finance to build her own marketing business, investing more than $250,000 in mentorship and strategy education along the way. Today she helps founders turn one focused acquisition channel into a predictable, referral-generating growth engine.
Get Practical Insights to Build a Stronger, More Profitable Business
Guest Offer
Esther invites listeners to explore the free marketing resources and educational content on her YouTube channel and website, and to book a call with her if they want help building their own attraction-marketing system.
Capture More Leads, Follow Up Faster, and Close More Business
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Cottn Owl
- Merrill Lynch
- Morgan Stanley
- HP
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Transcripts
When you have the right ad, the right system, the right strategy, and it does vary by client and by industry. And I'll come back to that. But I realize that ads can just find your clients for you 24 7.
When you have everything working together and when you automate it and you have your text automated and your emails automated and all of that goes out when somebody engages with the ad and you get to set all that up. That to me was just so much fun. So when you have that going, you don't have to be on social media, you don't have to have a social media strategy.
I tell people all the time, like if you like having a social media strategy, do it. But if you don't, yeah, it's great to have it as a digital business card is how I think of it.
But in terms of client acquisition, it's ads for my business.
Intro:But I am the world's biggest super fan.
Esther Stewart:You're like a super fan.
Intro:Welcome to the Business Superfans Podcast. We will discuss how establishing business superfans from customers, employees and business partners can elevate your success exponentially.
Learn why these advocates are a key factor to achieving excellence in the world of commerce.
We discuss the invaluable insights of business owners who have successfully implemented the strategies in the book to build their own team of devoted superfans. Gain insightful knowledge from the experts who create applications to help you create passionate superfans.
This is the Business Superfans Podcast with your host Freddie D. Ready, Ready Foreign.
Freddy D:Hey super fans. Freddy D here. Welcome to episode 219 of the Business Superfans Advantage podcast.
Founders with premium offers often struggle to create predictable client acquisition without weakening their position. And when growth depends on hype, inconsistent referrals, disconnected sales tactics, scaling becomes difficult to sustain.
In this episode we're joined by Esther Stewart, a business growth strategist and founder of Cotton Owl who helps coaches, doctors, consultants and therapists and other high level service business providers build high converting paid acquisition systems.
ix figure corporate career in:You'll learn how clear positioning, stronger sales systems and greater certainty can attract premium clients, protect brand equity and create more predictable growth across your stakeholder ecosystem.
Every episode becomes another practical blueprint inside Revenue Reactor transforming real world business wisdom into personalized guidance through mitas welcome Esther, to the Business Superfans Advantage podcast. Great conversation that we had before we started recording.
You're just a neighbor up the road up in Sedona and I'm down here in Cave Creek slash Scottsdale area. Welcome to the show.
Esther Stewart:Thank you, Freddie. I'm excited to be here. Thank you.
Freddy D:So tell us a little bit, Esther. I know you worked in the financial field in the beginning. How did you get started into that?
And then how did you transition out of that to where now you're really helping thought leaders and founders kind of attract new business for whatever they're doing?
Esther Stewart:Yeah, great question. I. So I started in finance actually accidentally had just moved to Florida, had no idea what I was going to do for employment.
I just knew it was time to move to the be near the ocean. So I moved to Florida. There was a very vague job post on indeed that was around administrative assisting. And I was like, oh, that looks interesting.
Let me just apply to that. And I did. And I walked in. It was actually Merrill Lynch.
So I walked in, I did the interview at Merrill lynch, had no finance knowledge, did not even know what Merrill lynch was before I walked into the office. I thought it was absolutely fascinating. Cause it was a totally different world for me. And I got the job.
And from that, within a couple months they asked if I would start doing all the certifications, which as was basically doing an associate's degree in. In like three months. Right. You collapse time. It's not easy.
Um, and so everyone told me I would never pass because everybody else in the office was failing and I had no finance background and I passed all of them the first time. So within that, of course, I then got promoted. Right. So then another team came in and said, hey, would you come and work with us?
And so I went very quickly from this level of client to the ultra, ultra high net worth space. They call it the private banking side. So I relocated to a little bit further south in Florida and I just kept doing that over my career.
And in the process of that I realized, which is going to segue into Cottonwell when I was at Merrill lynch, that my income was going to be determined by the team that I was working with. And the concept that most people come into the corporation with is you'll get promoted and you'll get your salary increases and you stay there.
It's like an old school mindset and you stay there until you retire or whatever that looks like. Right. But I realized very quickly that the best and the quickest way to make more money was to Change the firm, right?
Because where you are, they're never going to pay you more than you're making. The only way to do that.
So I jumped from Merrill, joined an amazing team at Morgan Stanley, a big team, became the relationship manager of all of their clients, very affluent clients that we've already talked and was in that team and was thinking about transitioning to actually becoming. Even though I was fully licensed, it wouldn't be a transition.
But in the world of corporate, how do you become from this role into the actual financial advisor, the person that is going out and acquiring the clients? And so within that, I was also a corporate coach. I was a public speaker. I was speaking across the country and the nation.
Inside of Morgan Stanley, I was really well known for one specific thing. And so I just found I really enjoyed that.
And then I put together this whole marketing strategy for the team because as you may or may not know, you do have to deal with SEC regulations and what you can and cannot do with marketing. It's a totally different wheelhouse. So in that restrictive space, I came up with this comprehensive marketing plan for them.
And they were so excited about it. And then at the last minute, they decided it was easier to stay where they were. And in that, I was like, what?
I have just built a marketing system that if I was in that role, I would be on it and we would have 10x the revenue. So that was my catalyst to being like, all right, I'm going to take this and I'm going to build my own business.
But in that process, as we talked about a little bit before, it's not the same selling inside of a financial institution as it is when you're setting up a system and a strategy to sell your own expertise online. So it's not easy. It's not easy. And the first lesson I had was in the sales piece of it.
So I'd been in rooms at Morgan Stanley and Merrill lynch where we're talking billions of dollars moving from one firm to the other on the table, right? Those were the transactions. That level of selling is very different than this level of selling of one to one on a zoom.
I actually prefer the zooms, but I didn't know how to do that. So I had to get really uncomfortable and honest with myself and say, okay, you need to learn how to do that.
So I've invested over $250,000 over the past four years.
I just made two big investments, again, just into mentors and learning all the different strategies, because I wanted to know, like, what was actually available and what actually works. And fortunately, I was really lucky. I got in the first five months of leaving corporate and starting Cotton Island. Setting the strategy.
The strategy that I set in my business is the one that still continues to drive my business. So I still continue to invest and learn all the others in case I was missing. Right. I think we're all guilty of that.
In case there might be something else. But it's always been that one thing. And so that's it. That's what Cottonweil has evolved into.
That's what we set up for our clients, and that's what we do in our business. But yeah, that's the story.
Freddy D:What a story. And you're right, because I remember I stayed at a company I started in the tech space in the beginning of the tech space.
So if you ever watch that Mad Men show, I rode that. But in the tech space in the 80s and 90s. And it was a wild time. But you're absolutely correct. I stayed at one company for seven years.
And then when I moved to someplace else, all of a sudden, poo. Things changed from a compensation standpoint, Got more responsibilities and everything else.
So unfortunately, it's a sad aspect that a lot of businesses don't create a lot of growth paths for their teams. And then they wonder why people are leaving.
Esther Stewart:Yes, they do.
Freddy D:So let's talk a little bit about what is it that you do? You've talked about. You put this whole marketing program, what kind of marketing program is.
And then let's go into how does that work for the people that you work with today?
Esther Stewart:Yeah. So like the marketing program at Morgan Stanley or the one I currently use?
Freddy D:Well, you started it in Morgan Stanley, so that evolved into yours. So how did that all transpire?
Esther Stewart:So the one at Morgan Stanley, because of SEC regulations and what we were allowed to do and not do was heavily leveraging emails, sending out emails and putting together a drip campaign, which was the first time I had ever heard of a drip campaign. I had no experience in it. And I was like, this is absolutely fascinating. I was like, you can just email people and you can get in their inbox. Right.
Again, it sounds so simple. And it is simple. But when that's not been your world, you don't know it exists.
So it was around drip campaigns, leveraging client events, asking our clients to bring their associates and friends to client events, deciding where those were going to be. Because I had already done that for another team, the very first team I worked with at Merrill lynch, so I was very familiar with events.
But then I wanted to leverage emails and then how can we leverage LinkedIn? How can we use this platform? And then within the world of SEC regulations, you are allowed to advertise.
This is very, very restricted in what you can and cannot say. And so the other piece of that was how can we leverage ads? And the last piece was how can we leverage social media?
Because you're allowed to use social media but the financial advisors just didn't want to use it because they weren't familiar with it. They'd never seen anyone at that point use it.
This was over like five years ago, well technically eight years ago, from landing at Morgan Stanley specifically. So they didn't, this team specifically just didn't know how to leverage social media for their business.
And because they didn't know what it was, they didn't want to. So all of that was the catalyst. Then when I started Cotton L, I realized very quickly and knew that I wanted to use ads and I ended up doing a mix.
I am, this is a big investment. Part of the big investments that I made was to learn how do you set up massive at scale email system so that you can.
And there's legal requirements of course. So that's a big piece of it. So for anyone listening, don't just go out and do it. You have to make sure you're doing it legally.
But setting up inboxes and using software systems to send a lot of outbound emails. So I set that in place. I leveraged LinkedIn as a second strategy and then I also set up ads.
So I had three different things because again I came from a finance background. You don't put all of your eggs in one basket. So that was my mindset at the time.
But I quickly realized that the best of those three was for my business was paid advertising. I just started leveraging paid ads.
I realized that when you have the right ad, the right system, the right strategy, and it does vary by client invite industry and I'll come back to that, but I realize that ads can just find your clients for you 24 7.
When you have everything working together and when you automate it and you have your text automated and your emails automated and all of that goes out when somebody engages with the ad and you get to set all that up. That to me was just so much fun.
So when you have that going, you don't have to be on social media, you don't have to have a social media strategy if you enjoy it. Absolutely. I tell people all the time, like if you like having a social Media strategy, do it.
But if you don't, yeah, it's great to have it as a digital business card is how I think of it. But in terms of client acquisition, it's ads for my business. That's what I've always leveraged.
But the other piece, and the longer I'm in this industry, the more I realize this, and you probably already figured this out years ago. The belief that you have, though, in the strategy is actually what determines whether or not it's successful.
So if somebody doesn't believe that ads are the thing that is going to help them with client acquisition, it won't be successful. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So I think the biggest piece and one thing that I love to do on sales calls and actually have now just incorporated this before we even have a conversation on a sales call is like making it really clear what this specific strategy is if they work with me. Because if this is not something that they're excited about, nothing.
I'm going to tell them in a conversation on a sales call, like, I'm not here to convince you. I am here to have a conversation and see if it's a good fit. That's it.
So if you have a call with me and I can tell you're not excited about this, we're not going to work together. Right. So that's been my. My big takeaway.
And one of the things that I've been advocating more and more, even in my social media content is just reinforcing.
If you don't believe something will work for you, it will not work until you either decide it will work for you or you find a strategy that does work. So, but that's been. That was the journey. That's what I set up. And yeah, it's been fun.
Freddy D:It's a great story that you bring up, Esther, is a fact that, and I really want to emphasize that is if you don't think it's going to work, you're absolutely correct. And if you think it's going to work, you're absolutely correct. So it's really. A lot of it is mindset.
Esther Stewart:Yes.
Freddy D:And it can be difficult because if you're by yourself, our brain is wired to go into negative first before it goes into positive. And so you start getting negative. Talk to yourself because you're struggling and things aren't working well and everything else.
And you got to persevere. You got to punch through it. And once you do, the rewards start coming in. And it's very rewarding that you went that extra step.
It's like being at the goal line and you're one foot away, and do you go for it or do you say, okay, shoot, I missed it, and you got to go for it.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. And you don't know what that goalpost is. I think that's what makes entrepreneurship more terrifying for a lot of people.
To me, I think it's exciting because you don't know. You could be five days away from the breakthrough. You could be five years away from the breakthrough. Either way, you have to keep going.
Freddy D:You don't fail if you don't quit.
Esther Stewart:No, no. You just have to keep going. Yeah.
Freddy D:So share with our audience a story of how you found somebody through your marketing and they were looking for some help, and how did that process go? And then more importantly, how did that person become a super fan of you?
And now they're part of your sales team that's telling the wonderful work that you did and how you've transformed their business and their life.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. Great question. I'll pick one specifically, because there's a lot, but I'll pick one. It's actually my client right now because I like to find that.
I like to find things that are now. And she and I had a call yesterday. She found me. And this is another example of things don't always happen quickly, necessarily.
Like, you'll have people that are going to find you, and they're like, I want to work with you. She found me, I believe, like a year ago, and she engaged with an ad. She came through my funnel.
So she was put into the system, and now she was on my email list, but I had no idea she existed. She didn't come through the normal funnel. And when she booked a call with me, I could not figure out what form she filled out.
So again, it was just very interesting when you put all these things into your business and you have all these different ways that people can come through, and then you're like, oh, my gosh, I forgot. I set that up. So she came through and she became a client. Now she's a lifelong client is what she tells me.
She's like, I'm gonna work with you at least for another 12 months. Cause she's on a month to month, but she had worked with a lot. And this story is. I'm bringing this up because this is every single client.
She worked with a lot of coaches and even. Even other strategists in the past, and she'd taken little pieces of what they had said, but she didn't like most of the guidance that they Gave her.
It was either too simple or it was too complex. And so in her case, she started to work with me a month ago. We've already gotten her funnel redirected in a way that is now converting.
We're looking at her ads. She just turned those on. Her, her number and her ads campaign is, even for my standards, is phenomenally high. It's.
It's performing really, really well. And so we made the tweaks and the updates and what we needed to do to optimize.
But on that call, she's like, I am here to work with you as long as needed. It's like, I don't ever see a place where I'm not going to want to work with you.
Because she's like, there's just so much that we can keep doing together. And then, of course, she then tells her friends, people in her world. And she is a pr, so her, her industry is pr.
She helps people with PR and publicity for their business. So her ideal client, by extension, is my ideal client. So now she is going to be a sounding board. And then that's just one example.
What that looks like is we act. I have a lot of clients who work with me, for one thing, and then they'll hire me for their other business. Right.
And I'm sure you have many, many examples as well. But is that. Did I answer your question fully?
Freddy D:Yeah. Yeah. It helps everybody understand because you're.
And I want to emphasize that is my success in the past, when I was in the software world and in other businesses, was the relationships that built with those people and what their objectives were. And then how could I help them attain their objectives?
And whatever I was selling, whether it was software or other types of services, whether it was construction company, language interpreting services, whatever the business was, law firm, it was, where did they want to go and then how could I help them get there? And I've got customers that I've had relationships with for 15 years, I mean, which is unheard of.
But I, I recognize and send those guys birthday cards and reach out to them and acknowledge them and everything else. Because one of the quotes in my book Creating Business Superfans is people will crawl through broken glass for appreciation and recognition.
Esther Stewart:They will.
Freddy D:And what you're doing is you're really taking the time to recognize where these people are, where do you want to go? And then you're really helping them accomplish what they're after. And the rest takes care of itself.
Esther Stewart:It does. I believe, though it ties in before you can build the relationship. You need to make sure it's a good fit.
g, you'll be successful, like:And this is where, again, in my industry, I do see this happen a lot, where they're so focused on making the sale that they don't stop and make sure that that is the best fit for that client. Right. So if you make sure that somebody is the perfect fit, and this is what.
You can do this through the funnels and through the messaging and all the stuff before they even have a conversation with you.
But once they're a good fit for your business, then that relationship that you're talking about, which is huge and you can't not have it, becomes just a byline of your business. Right.
And so now you're not even bringing in people who you can't establish a relationship with or who aren't a good fit because you're just that selective and making sure that this is specifically for this type of person and making sure that that person is a good fit before they even step into working with you.
So it's both, which I think is beautiful, and definitely in the Morgan Stanley and Merrill lynch, which was all about relationships, and you and I talked about this. But for anyone listening, the relationship in that world and in any business is the heart of the business.
Like, if you don't have a relationship with your clients, your business won't be successful. Right. So I think it's the mo. The biggest opportunity.
And I. I definitely saw it as a missed opportunity by so many people in the finance space because they got so focused on one specific area of their business, and then they would just not focus on the client relationship. And the client relationship is the piece that.
That we all need, because that, like you said, 12 years, I mean, that's phenomenal that they're still with you. Yeah. The.
Freddy D:The point there that I want to emphasize and take a little bit further, Esther, is the fact that all those people that are touching that customer are part of the growth engine.
Esther Stewart:Yes.
Freddy D:And this is where a lot of businesses fall short, because they're focused on the customer and they're forgetting about their team that happens to be the front line dealing with the customer. And I had a guest on the show. And he has a great term for those people.
He says they should be treated as directors of first impressions because that's the front line. That's who suppliers call in, vendors call in, prospective customers, existing customers, business partners, complementary businesses.
They're all talking to the front line before they get to anybody else. So that's the impression of the company.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. Yes.
Freddy D:And where I want to go further with that is, as you mentioned, sometimes they're not a good fit. And I've had numerous times where I was trying to sell my manufacturing software and I realized this isn't going to work for them.
And so I actually directed them to another competitive product because it was better for them.
That in turn created a super fan because I actually had integrity and I got business not from that particular business because I didn't have a solution for them, but they knew somebody else who could use my technology and they created an introduction. So it wasn't a referral. You should go chase John.
It's no, hey, John, I need to have you talk to Frederick because he can help you with this thing because he's got some cool stuff and he's a stand up guy and blah, blah, blah. And some of my fastest sales was because of that. They didn't need to be. See the demo, the software, everything else. Jack says I need to buy this.
How much, how fast can you get it in here? That was it.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. I love that.
Freddy D:Yeah. So let's go further into some of the challenges that you've had to undo. Let's make this a little bit fun.
When you've taken over and I'm sure you've seen a few rat nests. Let's go into some of the things that you've had to go in and go, oh my God. And, and what did you have to do to get it sorted out?
And in turn, they became a super fan of you because you took a rat's nest and turned it into a producing machine for them.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
So that's not easy to do because in that process, if they have a mess like if they come in and it happens, where they'll have a strategy that they set in their business and it's just not working. But they're so attached to that strategy, even though it's never worked. Right.
And so now my responsibility for me specifically at my business is not just to set up a new strategy, but it's to instill the belief in them as best I can and the understanding. And so that is a big challenge. And that's why I said at the beginning, it's all about belief, because if they believe.
And I think this is a challenge for me when I witness this, because I see people dig into something so deeply with no proof and no validation that it's actually going to work.
And you have to like, come in with your own belief and try to give them a path, even just a glimmer of where them holding onto this thing so tightly, that is obviously not worked. And they have tried to do this themselves for the past year and it's still not working.
If they would just think a different way and repackage and repurpose, we could get their business going in the direction that they want it to.
So for me, that requires not only the client, which is why like goes back to making sure that you're bringing through people in my case who are going to listen and who are going to be coachable, for lack of any other way to put that. But it's also making sure that because I'm a big advocate of like, you're not growing your business, you're growing yourself.
So in that I have to navigate beyond just saying, okay, how can I explain this to somebody? It's like, how can I be the version of the person who can guide this person? And within that, you have to deal with personalities.
You have to deal with how does this person think? Because we all think differently and we all have our own beliefs.
And so you have to grow yourself and then remove your ego and be able to completely step back and come in almost as a psychologist or a psychiatrist and sort of diagnose this person and their thought process and why they are going this way.
And then once you can understand that person stepping in their shoes, if you would, then being able to walk alongside of them and guide them to a better point. That said, that is not easy to do, but it takes a level of self awareness. And if you're anyone that's willing to do that, it is easy to do.
But if you're not, it's not easy to do, if that makes sense. But I would say that's been for me, the evolution of cotton out.
And in growing cotton out, it's always been about not just making sure that we're bringing through the right clients and then helping them and then guiding them, but making sure that I was able to remove my ego. Which does come back to the relationship.
Because when you're building a relationship with a client, if you put your ego into the equation from a client perspective, you've lost the client. And this, I think is A big reason why the financial advisors really struggle with that, because they have massive egos. It is what it is.
So in that ego space, it's really hard to let that go and then let a relationship naturally evolve and listen. And when you have an ego, it's really easy to just want to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, Right? When you can put that aside and just listen, I will.
And you already know this, but for anyone listening, if. If you ask me, like, what is the secret to a relationship? In a client relationship, it's your ability to listen to what they're saying.
It's your ability to just stop.
Which is ironic because I'm here on a podcast talking, but it's your ability to just stop talking, to not make it about you and to just turn everything off. Like, it doesn't matter what your life looked like before you logged into your computer that day. Nobody cares.
Like, what does the client need from you that day? What did they want to tell you in the finance world? Maybe they want to tell you about their grandkids, right?
For my clients, maybe they just want to vent for five minutes because their ads went wonky and they did something bananas that we can't explain because it's AI right. It's like they don't need a solution. They just want somebody to listen.
And so I found that the secret, if you want to call it that, to me, it is the secret to having a relationship that's sustainable, that's actually successful, is in the listening isn't just being able to listen and let them talk first. So I went down a bit of a rabbit hole there. I'm sorry.
Freddy D:No, no, you're right. Because I call it the deflating the balloon strategy. You let the balloon deflate, and once it's empty, it's empty. And guess what?
You can fill it back up with the good stuff and I'll share a story is I got a job for a UK company, and I was in charge of the whole western United States. And it was this little company called HP was one of our accounts, and they were unhappy.
They were pissed because of this poor service, the time zone differences, everything else. So they wanted to send back $500,000 worth of technology back then.
So the tech GU flew in from the UK and we got together and we went there and we were in a conference room, and it was ugly. And he wanted to go on defense right away. I said, tony, hang on. Just let them vent, AKA let the balloon deflate.
And so all day long we got pounded, and he wanted to fight back and defend and everything else. No, we got to just man up and take it. By the end of the day, their balloon had deflated. They were heard. And the next day, this was a two day event.
The first day I figured out who the players were. And so he started talking to the tech people and I pulled the management aside and we started talking the things that we can do and everything else.
And we turned that around in two days from being having to give back $500,000 to them wanting to buy more technology because of the fact that, like you mentioned is, I let them get it out of their chest. And then I stepped alongside of them in partnership. And then we built what they wanted together so they had ownership into it.
And then we stepped out and our job was just to facilitate what they had envisioned as the outcome that they were looking for.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. And then within that, you probably went back to your team and got all of the things that they were complaining about buttoned up too, right?
Yeah, because that's another area that I see where people, they'll have a conversation and everything will flatline and everybody's happy again, but then they don't go back to their team and actually resolve the issues there. So then the whole thing flares up again. So, yeah, it's two parts that you handled. I think that's beautiful.
Freddy D:And then you gotta make sure that, okay, we've taken care of it. Then you gotta get back to them and let them know, okay, we've taken care of it. Try it out, let's see if there's any issues.
And you flip it into a partnership. And that's what you're doing with the clients that you're working with. It's not that they're just a client. It becomes a partnership.
You're working shoulder to shoulder to accomplish the goals that they're after.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:And you just bring in your skill sets. They've got their skill sets. And so how do you blend that together to get a beneficial outcome for both of you?
Esther Stewart:Yeah, and it is in the follow up. It's just a simple email. I mean, you said it earlier. Birthdays, birthday cards.
I remember at the finance space, there was one of the financial advisors I worked with right before I left Merrill Lynch. He would send gifts for everything. Anniversaries. I mean, he had an extensive resource.
I think it was on his computer, an Excel sheet, if I'm not misremembering. Anytime somebody would tell him something, it went out of his mind and into this Excel sheet.
And so he had this anniversaries, grandkids, birth with new kids coming in. Right. And so every single big event for his clients, he had this spreadsheet.
And so every single year he would remember it and he would pull out that spreadsheet and he would look and see what was going on for that who was on the list today. Right. And it wasn't simple. It took time to do that. But it's a simple way of what you're just iterating what you already said.
Which is back to the follow up. Yes, the follow up to make sure that they're taken care of.
But then beyond that, the follow up just showing that you care about them as a human that you remembered. Because most people, we don't even. I mean, I'm guilty of this. I forgot my mom's birthday one year. Right. I'll never do that again.
But we forget like our own families, like big things. So if we're forgetting that ourselves, we know our clients are having big events that are not being recognized.
So if you're the person that is coming in and recognizing it, as humans, we crave that. We love that attention. We. It just, it makes us.
Freddy D:You stand, right? You stand out of the crowd.
Esther Stewart:Yes.
Freddy D:And more importantly, people forget. And that's where I talk about leaking revenue.
Most businesses are leaking revenue because they forget that they did a great job, the customer was happy, or the partnership that they had with somebody was worked out well. But then they don't hear from them ever again. So they've left future opportunities.
I'm working with a guy right now that I'm helping get himself straightened out. He's been in business, he didn't keep a log. He's got POS system and we're going to look at pulling it out.
But he never followed up and re engaged with past customers for the things he does for a long time.
The money that he's leaked is enormous because these people, he could have sold additional products and services and et cetera, but he doesn't have the tech skills and all that stuff. So he was just doing what he needed to do to be in business. But never look behind him of the gold mine that he was sitting at.
Esther Stewart:That's why having someone like you or working with somebody that like you for as a business owner is, is powerful because somebody else can see the places that you're not seeing in your business. So I think that's a beautiful example of having somebody on the outside who can come in and look at the inside of what you're doing.
And help you realize that. Yeah, it's not like you're doing anything wrong. I don't believe anyone does anything wrong in their business. But could you do it better? Right.
I think there's always ways to do better, do something better.
Freddy D:I came up with a funny. Actually, just because of this customer, I came up with a funny saying. You can't read the label from inside the jar.
Esther Stewart:Very true.
Freddy D:Think about that. And you're too close to it. The bottom line is you're too close to it. And so that's the really.
The services that you bring to the table, Esther, is the fact that you're seeing it from a different perspective.
So you can see even though they may have their email campaign set up, the social media set up, I mean, there's platforms that help do all that automation, blah, blah, blah. But the bottom line is they're not seeing that it's falling short. The messaging could be improved. They could change the approach a little bit.
And little tweaks is what makes big differences. Because an airline pilot, a friend of mine, said that the plane is always adjusting itself because the winds and everything else.
And if it didn't do that, if it didn't tweak itself, it would never get to the destination it's supposed to get to because of all the outside forces that are affecting it.
And really what you're doing for businesses is you're helping fight off those extra forces that are pushing it in left and right so that it goes where it needs to go and they get the W at the end of the day.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. Yeah, I like that analogy. I'm probably going to use that. I like.
Freddy D:I take royalties.
Esther Stewart:Yes. I'll make sure to cut you a check. No, I think that's beautifully said. Yes. Because that is. Is what you just said.
There is the secret to being successful as a. In a. As an entrepreneur. Hands down, it sounds simple. Nobody wants simple. So we have to create things that sound a little bit more complicated.
But when you come down to the nuts and bolts of it, it's tweaking and optimizing. Like, if something's not working, then what do we need to do to get it to work? Right? Like, there is no offer that is not going to sell, period.
But if it's not selling, it might be the strategy, it might be the way you're presenting it, but we just have to figure out what that is, and then we optimize it and then we tweak it. And I see so many founders just give up because they tried one Thing. And they were like, well, this is the thing that I thought was going to work.
And then it didn't work. And they throw their hands in the air and then they're just like, well, that's it. Nobody wants this.
And it's like, no, like you just said with the airplane. No, like, if the plane did that, we'd never get to our destination. You have to be able to navigate within that.
Freddy D:So I think that's got pivot, tweak, adjust pivot, tweak, adjust, pivot.
Esther Stewart:Yes.
Freddy D:And because it's not going to work the first time. I mean, mean.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:But you evolve and you see what starts working and then you amplify what is working. And that in turn, when you're helping people accomplish their goals, like I said, that's how you start creating those super fans.
And you can't buy that kind of pr.
Esther Stewart:No, you can't.
Freddy D:So.
And you are creating super fans from the people that you're transforming their businesses and their lives by helping them leverage the things that you do. For attraction marketing.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:Which is inbound marketing for those that don't understand it. But I prefer calling it attraction marketing because you've got to really attract the person to the messaging.
They've got to resonate with that message, and they got to go, that's me. I need that.
Esther Stewart:Yeah, yeah.
Freddy D:And that takes a unique skill set. And you've got that skill set.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. It's fun. I enjoy it. It's not for everyone, but for those that do like that type of marketing in their business, this. Why would you not.
If I can just have ads finding my clients for me, why would you not. It doesn't work for every industry. Right. So that's why for some. Some industries, advertising doesn't work as well. It works.
any time. That's better than:Since COVID everyone's just become aware of how easy it is to be successful. Right. And if you. If you don't think it's easy, then again, like you said at the very beginning, it's mindset. Right.
So go focus your mindset on making it easy. But I mean, it is so easy. You turn on an ad and it finds your clients for you or whatever your strategy. I'm using ads because that's mine.
But whatever your strategy is. Right. You. You already said it's relationships, so that your next client or your Existing clients are going to bring you more clients.
You don't have to do anything. Right. Like, that's easy. And then if you have to have a conversation, a sales conversation, it's a conversation, they say yes or they say no.
It's easy. Right. And then they show up. You already know how to do what you do exceptionally well. So it doesn't feel like work. Right. It just feels like this is.
This is easy breezy. Plus, you have a team. So if there's pieces of your business you don't enjoy doing, your team can do that. Right.
Like, I think people have made it so complicated or think that it's so complicated or it's so hard. And every time I hear that, especially in the last six months, I'm like, it's not hard. This is the best time in any time in any period of history.
This is the easiest that it has ever been and is the easiest it will ever be to be successful in your business. And I don't care about AI. I mean, AI doesn't scare me. I think it's fun, but it's not going to shift any of this.
We can all be as successful as we want, but we just have to get out of our own way. So I think entrepreneurship.
Freddy D:Well said.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. Thanks for the journey. Sure.
Freddy D:And one thing I want to add is I think people overlook a strategy that's always worked for me, and that's called direct mail mail. It's old school.
Esther Stewart:Yeah, that is.
Freddy D:But guess what? You can't spam the inbox, but you can spam the mailbox. Think about that.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:It's an overlooked strategy that blows away everything else because of the simple fact that there's laws against spamming inboxes.
Esther Stewart:Yes.
Freddy D:But there is no law of spamming the mailbox. Think about that.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:So you can do postcards. I've used postcard strategies to create inbound marketing and attraction marketing. People look at it and see it. Yes, I see it again.
I may reach out to these guys. And so, same thing with sending out a greeting card or sending out something personal in the mail.
It really changes the dynamics because it gets through the gatekeeper.
Esther Stewart:Yeah. Yeah. I was on a podcast with somebody and they send a book to prospects that they want to get in front of.
But direct mail, which is ironic because I always check my mailbox every day and I get a lot. I never thought about that. Yeah, I have a lot of questions, but I don't want to go down a rabbit hole.
Freddy D:We can talk about that offline. But that Is a strategy that people forget that actually works because we all. And I'll just emphasize what you were just saying with the going.
You all go through the mailbox every day. We all go through the mailbox, and the first thing we open is personal stuff.
Esther Stewart:Yeah.
Freddy D:Everything else gets put on the counter and we'll get to it later. But. Wow, this is. Somebody sent me something. Wow, Cool. What it is, it's just human nature.
So it's a strategy that I really recommend that people take the time to think about and look to implement it because that cuts through the noise.
Esther Stewart:Yeah, yeah.
Freddy D:So as we come to the end here, Esther, great conversation. How can. How can people find you?
Esther Stewart:Yeah. I will spell the website because autocorrect. And nothing gets it right. It smells like Cottonelle, the toilet paper. I didn't think that out very well.
It's C O T T N o W L official dot com. So it's cotton owlofficial dot com and I have all sorts of free resources and ways to learn how to do all of this.
I have a YouTube channel where I share almost everything. So you could do that. If you want to learn and actually book a call with me, you can do that as well.
But there's a lot of free resources on the website.
Freddy D:All right, well, we'll make sure that's in the show notes. Great conversation. Thank you so much for your time and would love to have you on the show down the road.
Esther Stewart:Thanks, Freddie. I've enjoyed it.
Freddy D:One thing that really stood out to me is that strong relationships begin before the sale, with the willingness to determine whether someone is truly the right fit. It's easy to become so focused on closing business that we forget the bigger responsibility.
Helping people make the best decision for their goals, even when that decision doesn't benefit us immediately. That kind of honesty builds trust, and trust creates clients who stay, refer others, and become genuine business superfans.
Esther also reminded us that relationships grow through listening. Sometimes clients don't need another strategy or a quick solution.
They need someone to slow down, remove the ego, and understand what they're actually experiencing. Here's your challenge. Choose one client or a prospect this week and ask one thoughtful question you haven't asked before.
Then stop talking and really listen to the answer. That conversation may reveal the small adjustment that strengthens the relationship and changes the direction of the business. Revenue is the outcome.
The relationship is where the work begins. And if someone in your network needs to hear this message, share this episode with them. Until next time.
Remember, every relationship you strengthen brings you one superfan closer Cultivate relationships Create business superfans Grow predictable revenue. I'm Freddie D. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you in the next episode.
Intro:We hope you took away some useful knowledge from today's episode of the Business Superfans Podcast. Join us on the next episode as we continue guiding you on your journey to achieve flourishing success in business.
