The first week you think about all you have lost. The future you imagined, the dreams you had for your baby, yourself and your family, that included them. You think about how unfair it is. You question your faith or spirituality because who would make this a part of our “destiny” something we HAVE to go through to become who we are meant to be. You start thinking about having another baby, you need another baby, not to replace the baby we lost but to have a baby because we are suppose to have one, we wanted one, we were growing one, our bodies are postpartum bodies without a baby, this isn’t suppose to happen. Doensn’t our bodies know? What do I have to go through postpartum when I don’t have a baby?

There are so many emotions and feelings we go through after we lose a baby. I was going through my journal that I kept after Evelyn died and I saw all of these conflicting feelings and thoughts and I remembered how confused I was. I want you to know how normal it is to feel these things. I also want you to know that it is a sign of tremendous strength to get help, just like I did.

Here are some journaling topics if you want to start writing and processing the things in your head. It really helps to get them on the page.

Journaling prompts here.