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E033: The Power of Forgiveness
Episode 3325th September 2021 • Don't Wait For Your Wake Up Call! • Melissa Deally
00:00:00 00:40:04

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Blair Kaplan Venables is a friend, client, colleague, social media marketer and the Founder of the I Am Resilient project. In this episode she bares her soul, as she talks about her life growing up with a father with an addiction problem, and how she came to learn the power of forgiveness and was then able to turn around her relationship with her father and now create a legacy project with him, as he battles with a terminal illness. It takes resilience to survive the losses that Blair has endured in the past year, and it takes a powerful self-care practice to strengthen your resilience muscles.

https://www.iamresilient.infoblair@blairkaplan.ca

Discover Your Toxic Load Quiz: https://welcome.yourguidedhealthjourney.com/yourtoxicload

Complimentary 30 minute consult:

 https://YGHJappointments.as.me/30-minute-consult

October Health Kickstart Program: https://welcome.yourguidedhealthjourney.com/2021-Health-Kickstart

Video intro to my Health Kickstart Program:

https://youtu.be/lc23yh7eaQM

About the Guest:

Blair Kaplan Venables is an expert in social media marketing and the president of Blair Kaplan Communications, a British Columbia-based PR agency. 

Yahoo! listed Blair as a top ten social media expert to watch in 2021 and as a pioneer in the industry, she brings more than a decade of experience to her clients. 

Blair has helped her customers grow their followers into the tens of thousands in just one month, win integrative marketing awards, and more. 

She has spoken on national stages and her expertise has been featured in media outlets including Forbes, CBC Radio, CEOWORLD Magazine, She Owns It, and Thrive Global. Blair is also the #1 bestselling author of pulsing Through My Veins: Raw and Real Stories from an Entrepreneur and co-host to the Dissecting Success podcast. When she’s not working on the board for her local chamber of commerce, you can find Blair growing the “I Am Resilient Project,” an online community where users share their stories of overcoming life’s most difficult moments.

Links

Blair Kaplan Venables -Social Media Marketing MentorSpeaker | Writer | Creator Prez of Blair Kaplan Communications

Founder of the I Am Resilient Project

Author: Pulsing Through My Veins: Raw And Real Stories From An Entrepreneur

(on Amazon)

https://www.blairkaplan.ca/

https://www.iamresilient.info

blair@blairkaplan.ca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blairdkaplan/

https://www.instagram.com/blairfromblairland/

https://www.facebook.com/blair.kaplan

https://www.facebook.com/BlairKaplanCommunications

https://twitter.com/BlairKaplanPR

JOIN BLAIR’S FB GROUP: SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS & NEWS FROM BLAIR FACEBOOK

GROUP:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/183289048881377

Clubhouse: @heybkvPodcast:

Dissecting Success: https://blairkaplan.ca/learn/podcast/

STRESS FREE SOCIAL MEDIA CHECKLISTS:

https://www.blairkaplan.ca/socialmedialists

About the Host:

Melissa is an Integrative Health Practitioner helping people get to the root cause of their health issues. Melissa neither diagnoses nor cures but helps bring your body back into balance by helping discover your “toxic load” and then removing the toxins. Melissa offers functional medicine lab testing that helps you “see inside” to know exactly what is going on, and then provides a personalized wellness protocol using natural herbs and supplements. Melissa’s business is 100% virtual –the lab tests are mailed directly to your home and she specializes in holding your hand and guiding the way to healing so that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Melissa has been featured at a number of Health & Wellness Summits, such as the Health, Wealth & Wisdom Summit, The Power To Profit Summit, The Feel Fan-freaking-tas-tic Summit, and the Aim Higher Summit, and has guested on over 30 different podcasts teaching people about the importance of prioritizing our health and how to get get started. 

www.yourguidedhealthjourney.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissadeally/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/Guidedhealthjourney

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guidedhealthjourney/

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Transcripts

Melissa Deally:

Hi, Melissa dealey here. And before we dive into today's podcast, I just wanted to let you know my super exciting news. I have just relaunched my brand new website, your guide to health journey.com. I've been working on this over the last three months, and I'm really excited to have it up and running now. You will find everything here laid out hopefully super easy for you to navigate. Under programs, I have my detox programs, my one to one coaching programs, group programs, and self guided courses all listed as well as my intake form. Under the about page, I have my story. I also have information on my lab test info, my discovery, your toxic load quiz, and FA Q's. I of course have my homepage, my podcast page, media page and testimonials that you're used to from my previous website. My blog is there and I have a new page under Resources called my recommendations. And this is a page offering you a number of different products that are toxin free for anybody who is looking to lower their toxic load looking for good quality products. They're all here under my recommendations. So I hope my website is a useful resource to you and I invite you to check it out. If you have any suggestions or recommendations you want to share with me. Please just send me an email at Melissa, you're guided health journey.com I would love to hear from you. And now enjoy the episode.

Melissa Deally:

Imagine getting up every day full of energy is if you were in your 20s again, what would that be like? What would that be worth to you? What is your health worth to you? Think about it. Your health isn't everything. But without it. Everything else is nothing. And yet too many of us are taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with a disease or chronic illness. And yet we've never been taught how to be proactive in our health through our school system or public health. As a registered health coach and integrative health practitioner, I believe it is time this information is made available to everyone. Combining new knowledge around your health and the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your health for today and all your tools don't wait for your wake up call. Welcome back to The don't wait for your wake up call Podcast. I am Melissa Daly your host and super excited to share my guests with you today. Blair Kaplan Venables welcome Blair

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Hello, Melissa. Oh my gosh, I am so excited to be here. We've known each other for a while. We've been on this growth journey together. And I love that we have the opportunity to be on each other's podcasts.

Melissa Deally:

Me too. It's been a fabulous journey of me being your client, you being my client networking together, and as you said on this fabulous, fabulous growth journey. So to introduce you to the audience. Blair is an expert in social media marketing and the president of Blair Kaplan Communications at BC based PR agency, Yahoo listed Blair as a top 10 social media expert to watch in 2021. And as a pioneer in the industry, she brings more than a decade of experience to her clients. Blair has helped her customers grow their followers into the 10s of 1000s in just one month when integrative marketing awards, and more. So that's why I love to work with Blair because she knows her stuff. So I would love for you to introduce yourself in more depth and tell your story because today, we're talking about self care. And that's the theme of the month. So how does social media fit with self care? And there's a journey that you've been on? And let's talk through that. Oh,

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

where do I start? Well, I feel like I was gonna break into the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. And this is the story about how so I was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I come from a loving family. My parents divorced when I was seven. I was one of the first kids with divorced parents. It wasn't your typical, I guess, divorce. My father lives with addiction. And I didn't really know that then. So growing up, you know, I had turmoil and anger and sadness, and I didn't understand when my dad was in and out of my life. I thought he didn't love me. I didn't know he was sick. And that was all going on in the background. in the, in the in the in the front. What you were seeing was his happy little girl who was actually depressed. Someone who loved to write the teachers even called my mom in to the school, St. Blair's writing some really sad poems. We think she's depressed by I'm sad now she can't be I was. I loved writing. You know, I loved writing poems. I loved writing in my journals and my diaries. And, you know, looking back at all these diary entries, every diary had at least one page, it's like, well, you will ever be a published writer, I want to write a book, do you think my poems will ever get published anyways. And that's for

Melissa Deally:

us stop in there for one second, though, because I love how, as a child, you were using that writing as an outlet to release emotions, right? 100%. And you didn't know it at the time, but it was, you know, clearly very helpful to you in doing that, because then you could exude that happy child on the outside, while processing the emotions through the writing on the inside, you know,

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Melissa, I would light candles, I would listen to prodigy, I would shut the lights, I would sit at my desk. And I would write, like I'm talking. I've had a lot of loss over the past few years. And so going back to my hometown in Winnipeg, you know, getting piles of stuff from my grandparents or my mom's, you know, I used to, you know, when the computer came out, I used to type out poems and print them out on loose leaf and bind them together with shoelaces and give people books of my my writing as presence.

Melissa Deally:

We love that. And it and I stink because writing is something I do not do. I mean, I can do it. I was taught to write obviously, at school, I can write really great reports, research documents, business letters, but writing for joy is not me. And so I love having conversations with people that are completely different to me. And I can just see in your face. I know the audience can't see that if they're listening. But I can just see in your face as you talk about this, how much joy writing brings to you? Because it's been a lifetime of self care for you.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Yeah, and I think it's, it's really important to know that not only at the time was I using this as an outlet, because I didn't have a therapist. I wasn't depressed, remember? No, I am. But also I was manifesting, I was manifesting. So in the background, I have had some hard stuff going on at home, I didn't understand when my dad was out of my life, my heart was broken. Fast forward to when I went to university, I was going to be a psychologist, I was like, man, I don't want to do that I probably need one. And I ended up going into public relations, which is basically kind of like psychology. And I ended up you know, graduating from university studying public relations, moved with Lulu lemon across the country, across Canada. But lemon actually was the reason that I was able to go to Vancouver and do the landmark forum, which gave me the tools to allow me to forgive my dad. So in my 20s, my dad and I began this healing journey together. And it's beautiful. It's not the dad I always wanted, it's just the dad that I have. And I was able to accept him for who he is. And, you know, he walked me down the aisle at my wedding, I didn't think that was gonna happen. He came to visit me multiple times, never thought that was going to happen, you know, things that I thought that I always wanted, that I knew that I was like, I determined to myself, this is never gonna happen. I got a second chance. And then at the end of 2018, we learned that my father was terminally ill. And at the time of recording this, he's still he's still with us. And I felt robbed, like why me? And so, you know, we started telling our story about addiction, forgiveness, resilience. And what was happening was our story was empowering people. It was inspiring people to go to therapy, empowering people to share their story, empowering people to share my story with people in their life, who maybe needed to hear it. And so I decided, you know, what, dad? What if we have a legacy piece? What if we write a book, we gather stories of resilience, we bookend it with my story and your story. And we create a resource, we create a tool to help other people move through their challenges by sharing and reading these stories. And so, you know, Melissa, you shared your stories, and we could talk about that in a second. But what's really cool is that you have been working on this project for two and a half years, we, you know, we're putting on events before COVID fundraising money for mental health and addiction services. You know, we did an interview series online using our social media. And now we're just in the point of wrapping up our first book, and it's going to come out in Fall 2021. And what's really beautiful is that I didn't think my father would still be here. And he is, but what's been really hard is that I've had to be really, really resilient since starting this project.

Melissa Deally:

Yes, you have and we're going to talk about that in a sec. But I just want to come back to that peace of forgiveness, right. And that landmark forum, which gave you the tools in order to be able to do that. Because in in my training as well, there was a three step process to this and first of all was step one is figuring out what is it you Really want, right? Step two is forgiveness. And forgiveness isn't necessarily forgiving someone else for their wrongdoing. It's just and passing the blame. But it is forgiving, so you can move on. Because until we forgive, we get stuck, right, and we carry around a bitterness that the other person may not even know that we have. But when we forgive, we can let that go. And we can move forward. And then step three is gratitude. And I know you're a huge person for gratitude as well. And so those three steps in that phase of moving forward, when we have been stuck, for whatever reason, are incredibly powerful. And the more resilient we are, the more we're able to do that. And it is a practice is very hard the first time but as we practice it, it becomes easier. So let's talk about gratitude. And then we're gonna dive into resilience.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

And I just want to say, that's really beautiful that you share that. And I wish I remembered that exact moment in landmark that it you know, flip the switch for me, and I didn't forgive my dad for having an addiction, I, I was just able to, you know, forgive him for the way things unfolded. I don't condone, you know, I don't condone his behavior, but I understand it's a mental illness. And I didn't know that then I we don't, we didn't know in the 90s what we know now, right. And so understanding that he was sick, and that he did love me was a huge part of that. So fast forward to that. As of late, I probably in the last five or six years, I've built out a gratitude practice. And gratitude is so important. I like to talk about strengthening your resilience muscle. And this is a key exercise to do that. And I watched a video from Sean a core. And part of that video really inspired me because what he teaches is that if you practice gratitude every day, and you list three things you're grateful for from the past 24 hours, you'll change the neural pathways in your brain to see the world in a more positive way. So I thought to myself that it seems easy, I'm going to set my phone alarm for 9pm, I labeled a gratitude alarm. And this has been happening for five years at 9pm, my alarm goes off, if I was at a party, because that's a thing of the past, everyone at the party would stop what they're doing. And we'd all list what we're grateful for. If I'm at a family dinner, if I'm alone and traveling, I'll text my husband, my husband and I will do it together, we'll do it with my mother in law we do with whoever we're with, wherever we are at 9pm. Whether we're alone, sometimes I share on social media. And I really contribute this daily practice, which I've hardly missed any days, even if I'm alone, I'll journal it. I contribute it to a big part of my survival and my attitude and how I've gotten through some very difficult stuff.

Melissa Deally:

And I agree with you 100%, because independent to you starting your gratitude journal, I started my own. And I've done it in different ways, I sometimes will do my gratitude and write it down in a journal before bed. Sometimes I do it in the morning. And what I've been doing of late actually, is as I fall asleep, I think, what I'm grateful for for that day. And I really love that because it allows my brain to go to sleep on happy thoughts instead of stressful thoughts or my to do list for the following day. And that allows me to get into a deeper, more restorative sleep. And then I wake up and in the morning, I will journal my three things that I'm grateful for. And sometimes it's more than three things. And at the beginning, sometimes I had a hard time coming up with three things because I wasn't used to it yet. And then as I go through my days, and things happen, now my brain is like, Oh, you can write that in the journal, you can write that in a journal. And what I've done to your point about rewiring our brain is my brain is now looking for the good things, as opposed to the danger, which is what is hardwired to look for, because it's charged with keeping us safe. But we don't have to be on alert for every single danger in the modern world. And what we can do is be on alert for all of the good things. And I agree with you 100% it is incredibly powerful. And I was at a conference about two years ago because they too are a thing of the past. And somebody asked around the lunch table. What's one thing you've done in the last year that has really changed your business? And I thought about it for a minute and I went You know what, it's my gratitude journal. It has me feeling like I'm walking on air. And what I find now is if I get into bed and I, you know, I usually fall asleep very quickly. And if I'm struggling to fall asleep, I realized I haven't done my gratitude thoughts yet. And I do my gratitude thoughts and boom, I fall asleep.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

I love that. And that's why I like to do it at nine o'clock because that's kind of bedtime wind downtime for me. Because even if I'm having a really hard day that's how I end my day thinking about the things I'm grateful for. And let me tell you, I mean, I'm in the process of moving. And we're just at the end of that journey. And it's been a very, very stressful few months. And that gratitude practice was really lovely to end each day with. Mm hmm.

Melissa Deally:

Yes. And because you've been doing it for a while you had built up your resilience to get through the stressful few months that you've been through. And it doesn't actually take long like if somebody were to start their gratitude journal today, easily by the end of 30 days, they're going to notice that they have a more positive outlook on life, that they're feeling better, feeling happier, and building that resilience muscle. It's not like it takes a year to have the benefits. It's very quick, right? You know,

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

you don't even have to have a journal. Like if you're like listening to like auto journal, I don't want another notebook, set a phone alarm to go off. Like I often because I've been doing this like I was with my girlfriends. Recently, and at nine o'clock, three of our phones went off. Because they all set gratitude alarms, friends of mine, in Winnipeg friends of mine in Pemberton, sometimes they're, you know, they change it to the wind alarm, because I don't want to have a gratitude. But the winds is similar. You know, you don't have to write it down. So don't be turned off. Like if maybe you're on practices, the alarm going off, and you sing it out loud or sharing it with your family, or you shifted, and maybe you do it around the dinner table or the breakfast table. But find a way to practice gratitude.

Melissa Deally:

And the other thing I want to add to that, too, is that I wish I knew this when I was younger, and my kids were younger, or when I was in child. So for those of you listening to have young children, I love the idea of doing it around the dinner table. And teaching young children this practice and making it a habit in their lives as well because it will help build their resiliency and their resilient muscle. So let's talk about your last few months and how resiliency has helped you cope.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Where do I begin? So just some backstory in some context, this is a bit of a trigger warning. Life's been very hard. You know, November, so October, I found that I was pregnant. We've been my husband and I've been trying to get pregnant for years. I was told I couldn't get pregnant. And I did. But in November on November 3, actually, we learned that my father in law had cancer. And I was having an issue with my dad. And an hour later had a miscarriage. Three weeks later to that day, we lost my father and father in law. So he had a three week Battle of cancer. And he was like the data never had, he was the dad that I always imagined, like the Danny Tanner from Full House, you know, the, you know, the wholesome father who wants to go on hikes and take photos of you and like plans, you know, kayaking trips. I, you know, I'm pretty heartbroken. I'm very heartbroken, actually. And then three months, almost to the exact day later than Dave passing. My mother suddenly passed three week battle with cancer. So I lost two parents, and a child in like a four month window. You know, and I'm not that old, like I just turned 36. But, you know, I've experienced some pretty hard stuff in a short period of time, probably a lot more than most people do, and an entire lifetime. And it's hard. It's been very hard. But I get up each day. And I know if I need to take things moment by moment or hour by hour or day by day, and I do my best. And I show up and I practice self care. And sometimes that self care is not answering my phone or my emails and spending the day crying and journaling. And where we're at today, you know, I lost my mother in February so it's been you know, over six months, you know, while that'll happen to you still my mother's house in Winnipeg, me my mom and sister lived together like we grew up together, because my dad and my mom are divorced. So we sold my childhood home packed up our childhood home in Winnipeg. That was very hard. Because a full house full of memories like every science project, every art project, every love note I ever wrote my mother she kept it was very emotional packing up our house in Pemberton because we decided to move to Kamloops to be closer to my husband's family. So it's been not only just loss of physical people, but loss of space, being uprooted. But while doing all of this, my business kept growing. I have a PR company. It's 13 years old. I've been in the social media and PR space for about 15 years. And I was having some of the biggest months biggest days in my business. Like I had a multiple five figure launch for one of my group coaching programs. I had a multiple five figure month that was was amazing. And while navigating some really hard stuff, it was really nice to know that the pillars I built out this the empowerment pillars, the social media empowerment pillars were working for me. So I can be present with my family. And I also truly, you know, contribute a lot of that to my ability to manifest my ability to strengthen my resilience, muscle, my gratitude practice and for how I show up in this world.

Melissa Deally:

And it's a testament to all of that, because as you say, you've been through a lot in a short amount of time, more than many people go through in their entire life. And you still show up smiling, you show up ready to serve, you show up to give your best every time I see you. And it is such a testament to the fact that you have developed a very strict self care practice for yourself. That allows you to have this level of resiliency, without self care, our ability to be resilient is extremely limited. And, you know, people might be listening, or they've heard the word self care before it might be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't have time that's for somebody else. But it is such a critical part of our ability to be healthy, and to thrive, no matter what life throws at us. And the world is the most stressed out it's ever been. And people look around and see everybody else stressed out and normalize it, and don't realize the importance of a self care practice. And my favorite quote around self care is that self care is the most selfless act, because it allows you to show up and give the world the best of you instead of what's left of you. And when I first learned about self care, and in all honesty, I only learned about this concept of self care being selfless. When I went back to school, or health coaching, when I was in the corporate world, I didn't think of self care as being selfless. I thought self care had to come last. When I learned that and I prioritized my self care. That's when things shifted for me. And so I know you have a very strong self care practice that allows you to be so resilient. We've talked about gratitude, but what else do you do for your own self care? What does that look like?

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Well, I cut out alcohol. Alcohol didn't do anything for me. It made me feel anxious. I have anxiety and depression. So I decided to control what I can control and if putting something in my body does not make me feel good, even if it makes me feel good in the moment and there's no you know, positive repercussions. I cut it out. Most of the time I'm just getting back on to fueling my body with clean food. You know, while my mother once my mother passed away and cleaning up the house my sister and I were ordering a lot of cookie dough blizzards extra cookie dough from Dairy Queen. Like I'm talking almost every day like I put on weight, I felt crappy. My skin was bad, low energy, but I was eating my feelings and it's like, that's just what I had to do to get through. And but you know, I generally if I'm eating clean and healthy and balanced, I feel really good. So I really watched what I put in my body. In fact, I made a pack to cut out Milk Duds. That's my kryptonite and Milk Duds. And I was and I was having them like a few times a week and I my husband just bought me a box of Milk Duds. And it was the first time since mid July. Which is really good. So anyways, back to that.

Melissa Deally:

I believe you cut out alcohol back in January, if that was your January 2020. Resolution.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Yeah, like like a note 2019 it's almost been three years already. Wow, time just has no essence and pandemic, right. But yeah, I also think so fueling My body is important. Sleep. Like I will sacrifice work stuff. And fun stuff, family stuff for sleep. If I am tired, I will have a nap. I will stop what I'm doing. I will leave the party, I will leave the dinner. I know that I need a good sleep. And if I don't have a good sleep, I will rearrange my schedule so I can nap. Sleep is so important.

Melissa Deally:

100% And that's not just true of you. That is actually a scientific fact that the more sleep we get, the more resilient we can be towards the stresses that life throws at us each and every day.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

And I'm writing I still write I wrote a book. I wrote a book to learn how to write a book for the Brazilian project. I journal almost every day, sometimes twice a day. I write out my feelings on social media, I move my body, I move my body, and I'm very careful. But my am ritual, I just bought a new alarm one of those alarms that I saw, I tried to not have my phone in my bedroom unless like, I have to get up at a weird hour. And I'm worried I'm not gonna wake up and I need to set a bunch of alarms. But I set this this alarm is one of those light alarms so it's progressively gets brighter. Yes, and I leave my phone away from my bed so I don't reach for it right when I wake up. And I'm very careful about my am ritual I get you know, I let the the lightweight me I feed my three cats because I have three cats and they're hungry and they start jumping on my head because they're like, oh, humans awake, feed me. And then, you know, I journal I journal, I document my dreams, I write about my feelings, what's going on, I, you know, turn some music on and do that. I move my body, then I try and have a bath. I mean, I've kind of been a nomad while moving. If there's a bath available, I'll have a bath and I take that time to light candles and have a really a really beautiful morning ritual right ease into my day. I don't just jump into work, I don't just jump into social media. I'm with myself first.

Melissa Deally:

And I love that. And that's so key to again, keeping our stress levels down as we start our day and being really intentional around starting our day, because so often people have their phone as their alarm, which I definitely teach people to have their phone out of their room if they want to improve their sleep. But so many people reach for it. And the first thing they do is start looking at their emails or looking at social media. And whatever is happening in that it causes them to then be reactive, and to start their day off stressed. As opposed to having a ritual that allows you to start your day off intentionally set your goals for the day in some way, shape, or form. They don't have to be big goals, but maybe it's the most important thing you need to get done. And if you get that done, then that's a big win, right? And easing into your day.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Exactly. Don't get up and go wake up earlier, go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, take the morning, do what you need to do enjoy that cup of tea, and like it's okay to still look at your phone and read the news and do what you need to do. But don't just open your eyes and do it like what are you doing for you. And the other thing that I think is really important is that I have therapists. Yeah, I don't do it alone. I have, over the years have had as you know, psychologists and therapists and social workers, addiction counselors. You know, when my mom passed a dear friend, my podcast co host we you know, Teresa Lambert and I we have the dissecting success podcast, she gifted me a death doula grief counseling session. That was amazing. And it really helped me. I've done spiritual healings, I've worked with healing guides, you know, I'm on this never ending healing journey from childhood trauma and recent trauma. And it's a really cool journey to be on. But I'm not doing it alone. Just like in business, don't do it alone, get a mentor, you know, with mental health, like get maybe you see a therapist once a year, maybe it's once a week. But there are people out there to help you like we don't need to do this stuff alone. And there are people trained to help us navigate these hard times these tools are applicable to life applicable to business.

Melissa Deally:

I agree 100%. And, you know, whether it's mental health or any kind of health, I actually also recommend having a team, right? We're social beings. And when we work in a team, we can rise to our best self. So often we're talking ourselves down or listening to our brain, which is again, charged with keeping us safe and trying to keep us in this comfort zone where it knows that it can keep us safe, but it's talking us backwards instead of forwards. And when we're in that comfort zone, we're not growing, we're not healing. And when we have this support, so that we can be stronger than what are the voices in our head, I like to teach people to actually be in control of their brain instead of letting their brain be in control of them. And we do that with the support of others. So I love all of that. And such great tips and suggestions for others. So what is the name of your book so that people can look for that when it comes out? And is there anything else that you want to share about that book? Because I think it will be a wonderful resource for Yes,

Melissa Deally:

everyone.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

So the website is resilient dot info. You can find our social handles on our website. And we've been gathering stories from around the world for two and a half years. And I believe every story deserves to get told some of these stories. It's you know, they've been told multiple times some of these stories. It's the very first time they've ever shared. Every story that sent to us gets published on our social media and our website. And we've selected well most of the stories that were sent to us over the last few years. I think most of them made it into the first book and so the name of the Buck is yet to be determined. But if you follow us, you'll see but you know, it has to do with the Brazilian project, it's going to be a beautiful, hardcover coffee table style book. It's going to be meant as a place of inspiration where you can look at these stories, read these stories, learn people's challenges, how they navigated it, see their advice, and it's coming out this fall. So you know, it'll be available on Amazon, and maybe your local bookstore, I don't really know what's going to happen. That's why it's a project. And But yeah, I don't have an exact release date. And, you know, if you're like, well, what's Blair's first book, it's called pulsing through my veins, Ron real stories from an entrepreneur. And you can buy that on Amazon or my website, Blair. kaplan.ca. But I, you know, I'm really excited because Melissa submitted two stories, and we're gonna be including both of them. Oh,

Melissa Deally:

I didn't know both were gonna be in there. Yeah,

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

we're gonna be including both and, and they're very special stories. Very, you know, Melissa is very resilient. I don't I'm not sure what she shared with all of you listeners out there. But these are really powerful stories. So I'm excited to help be that platform for for people who have never shared before, who don't know how to share, who loves sharing, who wants to help people. It's a movement, you know, I look forward to continuing the project and seeing which forms and variations, you know, takes. But that's, you know, that's us.

Melissa Deally:

And I love the idea of the book, because it comes back to not doing things alone. And when we read other people's stories, and we can see what they've navigated, we realize, well, if they can do it, I can do it too. Right. And so being able to access this kind of information all in one place, and sourcing that inspiration, and sourcing that hope is incredibly powerful. And I just love the fact that it's a legacy project for you and your dad, and the fact that your dad is still with us. And hopefully it's published and he will be able to have the book and read the book himself.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

I hope so, with you know what, you know, it's interesting, Melissa, because we've been preparing for him to die. Right? For we were told he had a year and a half to two years left. It's been two and a half years. And so it's interesting, because while preparing for him to go, you know, every time I see him in Winnipeg, I think it's my last time to see him. He is very resilient. Let me tell you like he is oxygen dependent, and on a scooter and, you know, very active on social media. And it's just interesting, because while preparing for him to die, I lost my grandfather, we lost the baby, we lost my father in law, we lost my mom. And you know, he's been around for all of that. And he's, he's been the constant. And because I've been preparing for this great, huge loss. I've had the tools to navigate some of the worst pain I'll ever experience.

Melissa Deally:

Yeah, but so nice that his time with you has been extended.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Exactly everything. I don't like to say everything happens for a reason. But I don't believe there are coincidences, and we all have our path.

Melissa Deally:

Yep. And I do believe everything happens for a reason. And you know, he's here to see this legacy project come to life. And I also heard you say, first book, I believe you're planning a second book, right?

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

Well, I'm gonna rewrite Well, I have a couple projects I'm working on, I'd like to read a children's book about resilience. And it's the first podcast I've ever said that on. So you're hearing it first here. And I don't just depends on what happens in my life. But when I work on it, I'm going to be working on another book about my healing journey. When it's time, I'm always going to be healing, but I'll know when the time is right to start pulling the pieces together. But with the iron resilient project, if you know, the book comes out, we start to get tons of stories and they're flooding in, how could I not keep publishing books. And I didn't charge I mean, I don't know how the business models going to be. This isn't a business like I'm losing money on it, because it's a passion project. Maybe I switch it into a business model, but we you know, right now, we didn't charge anyone to be in the book. It's not about that. It's about creating a tool in the future. I don't know how it's gonna unfold. But if we start to get a lot of stories, and there's a need for this, then I'm going to keep creating, because that's what I do. I'm a creator.

Melissa Deally:

I love that. So if there are people listening, and you have an amazing story of resilience, submit it to Blair, and she will post it on social media and potentially have it in a book so that you too can inspire someone else. So it's at the I am resilient project dot info, is that correct?

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

I am resilient dot info, not the word project. I

Melissa Deally:

am resilient dot info. We'll put that in the show notes. So as we wrap up here, I love to finish up with just two questions. So the first one is What does don't wait for your wake up call mean to you?

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

I didn't know I was strengthening my resilience muscle. When I started my gratitude practice. I just thought, Hey, I would like to be happier and navigate the world better. And so I started that practice before. I know I knew I knew I needed to be resilient. So don't wait for your Wait. Don't wait for your wake up call to have to be resilient. Don't wait till you hit a rock bottom. What can you control now that's gonna prepare you for when life gets hard.

Melissa Deally:

I love that. And we know life does get hard. its ups and downs. And we have different levels of stressors thrown at us every day. So yes, stepping into practicing and strengthening our resilience muscle will absolutely help people navigate that from a far better place. So great, great advice. And what message would you like to leave with the listeners to have them start their self care journey today? Don't wait.

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

You know, my mother was 62 years old when she passed away. On top of all of her doctor's appointments, no wrinkles, belly button ring healthy worked out. And all of a sudden cancer boom, gone. You don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. So I think what's really important is live your life. If you have goals, work towards them. If you want to do something, do it because you don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

Melissa Deally:

I love that live life fully every day. Amen. When people get hold of you, if they would like to reach out

Blair Kaplan-Venables:

where can kaplan.ca best place to get a hold of me, it's my website, you can learn about the Resilience Project, you can learn about everything I'm doing in the social media space, my group coaching and private coaching, all my social media handles and all the cool stuff I'm up to is on my website. So Blair kaplan.ca.

Melissa Deally:

I love that that too, will be in the show notes. So thank you so so much for joining me here today. I have loved this conversation with you, I could talk to you for hours, you are such a vibrant person that has so much depth, so much wisdom. And I'm so grateful that you came on this show to share with my audience. So thank you very much. And to all the listeners of the don't wait for your wake up call podcast. Thanks for joining us and see you next time. Thank you. Before I let you go today, I just want to let you know about my next health kickstart and detox program. Starting on Tuesday, October 5 running for the for Tuesday through October at 2pm Pacific. For 90 minutes, all sessions are recorded. And we're gonna dive into doing a functional medicine detox in a guided supported manner as well as learning the right way to eat for your body. It's not about doing the latest crazy diet to lose weight is learning how your body wants to eat. It's also learning about optimizing digestion because it's not just about what we eat. It's about what we absorb. And we're going to dive into sugar because it's in everything. Where is it sneaking into your diet and causing you problems. So sign up before September 28 get 20% of this is truly the single best starting point on your healing journey. You might have made new year's resolutions back in January, we're now into the final quarter of the year, it's time to start prioritizing you and your health. And this program will help you do it. When we have toxins bogging down our system, which is very common today with 100,000 manmade chemicals having been introduced into our world since World War Two. It causes inflammation in the body, it causes hormone imbalance, it causes a sluggish digestive system, it causes weight gain, it causes poor sleep, it causes an immune system to not function at its best. So when we get those toxins out, we can undo all of that, you can check out the link in the show notes. And I've also dropped a link to my toxic load quiz. So you can discover your toxic load score today and see that some of the symptoms that you might be writing off as aging, or genetics, or seasonal allergies are not they're actually signs of a toxic load, and your body is asking you to do something about it. And here's your opportunity. So check it out in the show notes, and I look forward to having you join in the program.

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