Artwork for podcast The Demartini Show
Value Yourself - The Demartini Show
Episode 1927th July 2023 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:22:14

Share Episode

Shownotes

You are a unique individual with something amazing to offer the world. The outer world is a reflection of your inner world so when you acknowledge your true worth, the outer world values you too. When you appreciate yourself for who you are, the world appreciates you for who you are. Join Dr Demartini for an inspiring presentation packed with actionable steps you can take to value yourself. Your amazing life starts with you.

USEFUL LINKS:

To Access the Show Notes go to: https://demartini.ink/3NKI6R6

Watch the Video: https://youtu.be/fAnc-y324g4

Learn More About The Breakthrough Experience: demartini.fm/experience

Learn More About The Demartini Method: demartini.fm/demartinimethod

Determine Your Values: demartini.fm/knowyourvalues

Claim Your Free Gift: demartini.fm/astro

Join our Facebook community: demartini.ink/inspired

Mentioned in this episode:

The Breakthrough Experience

For More Information or to book for The Breakthrough Experience visit: demartini.fm/seminar

Transcripts

Speaker:

The moment you value you, so does the world. The moment you devalue you,

Speaker:

so does the world.

Speaker:

Albert Einstein said if you compare yourself and you're a

Speaker:

cat to a fish and beat yourself up for not being able to swim very well,

Speaker:

or compare yourself to a cat,

Speaker:

if you're a fish and wonder why you're not able to climb,

Speaker:

you're not going to appreciate yourself, you're not going to value yourself.

Speaker:

But if you honor yourself for who you are, you will.

Speaker:

So I'd like to go down the rabbit hole on that one and discuss that.

Speaker:

I rarely do a presentation without talking about values,

Speaker:

so you know that's coming.

Speaker:

But every human being lives by a set of priorities,

Speaker:

a set of values that make them unique.

Speaker:

A set of priorities that from most valuable to least valuable,

Speaker:

a hierarchy of values.

Speaker:

Whenever they're living by their very highest value and setting priorities in

Speaker:

life and living by the highest priority and really filling their day with the

Speaker:

highest priority action, their self-worth goes up.

Speaker:

But whenever they're doing lower and lower values on the value list,

Speaker:

their self-worth goes down.

Speaker:

They have the most fulfillment when they're doing what's highest in priority.

Speaker:

And least fulfillment when they're doing what's lowest in priority.

Speaker:

So you probably had a day where you had an agenda that was prioritized and you

Speaker:

went after it,

Speaker:

you checked it off as you went and you knocked it out of the ballpark and you

Speaker:

felt on top of the world. You've also gone in on the day, had an agenda,

Speaker:

but then fires happened. ,

Speaker:

you're putting fires out all day and you never got to the highest parties and

Speaker:

you're putting things that are lower priority and you felt frustrated and go,

Speaker:

what a hell of a day? And you felt like you were on the bottom,

Speaker:

the world was on top of you. And when you went home,

Speaker:

when you're on top of the world, you were more resilient and adaptable,

Speaker:

and felt more grateful.

Speaker:

When you went home and you were at the bottom of the day,

Speaker:

you kind of took it out on the people you loved, and you beat yourself up.

Speaker:

You are designed to self depreciate when you're doing lower valued actions.

Speaker:

And you are designed to appreciate yourself and the world,

Speaker:

when you're living by highest priority. You love the world,

Speaker:

you love your actions, you love yourself. Be thy self. Know thy self.

Speaker:

Love thy self, is the old proverb.

Speaker:

Your identity revolves around what you value most.

Speaker:

So if you're willing to live by priority and be yourself and authentic,

Speaker:

you end up having the greatest self-worth. So the question is,

Speaker:

are you willing to value yourself?

Speaker:

You're going to value yourself whenever you live by priority and you're not

Speaker:

going to value yourself when you don't. And that's really that simple.

Speaker:

If we don't fill our day with high priority actions that inspire us,

Speaker:

it fills up with low priority distractions that don't.

Speaker:

If we don't live by the highest value, we won't value ourselves to the highest.

Speaker:

If we live by lower values, we're going to devalue ourselves.

Speaker:

There's no shortcut to that , there's no magic bullet to that.

Speaker:

It's simply taking command of your life.

Speaker:

If you're not living by design and prioritizing your life,

Speaker:

you're living by duty and letting the world outside you prioritize your life.

Speaker:

You're either living by design or duty,

Speaker:

living highest priority or lower priority. The way the brain is set up,

Speaker:

when you're living by highest values, the blood, glucose,

Speaker:

and oxygen goes up into the forebrain, the medial prefrontal cortex,

Speaker:

and you have the executive center and you are now able to see an inspired

Speaker:

vision, execute strategies and plans to fulfill it,

Speaker:

you tend to spontaneously act to fulfill it, execute the plans.

Speaker:

You tend to have self-governance and you mitigate the volatilities of impulses

Speaker:

and instincts from infatuation and resentments from the amygdala,

Speaker:

the subcortical area of the brain, and you tend to flourish.

Speaker:

And because of the vision, you tend to, you know,

Speaker:

have an expanded inspired vision in life. You're on top of the world.

Speaker:

But if you are allowing yourself to live by lower values, the blood,

Speaker:

glucose, and oxygen goes down into the subcortical area of the brain,

Speaker:

the amygdala, which tends to want to avoid predator and seek prey,

Speaker:

avoid challenge, seek ease, avoid you know, pain and seek pleasure.

Speaker:

And in the process of doing that,

Speaker:

it automatically is now caught in impulses and instincts, distractions,

Speaker:

which devalue you. Because now you're,

Speaker:

instead of being focused on what's inspiring to you,

Speaker:

you end up getting distracted by side ventures.

Speaker:

And this is where we get vulnerable to outside influence,

Speaker:

where instead of being intrinsically driven by our highest vision,

Speaker:

when we're living by our highest values,

Speaker:

we become extrinsically distracted by outside circumstances.

Speaker:

You may remember when I did the movie The Secret,

Speaker:

when the voice and the vision on the inside is louder

Speaker:

opinions on the outside, you begin to master your life.

Speaker:

And that's an important principle.

Speaker:

That's why it's so important to prioritize your life.

Speaker:

That's why in my program the Breakthrough Experience,

Speaker:

I spend time identifying the values so people can live by priority and

Speaker:

show them how to dissolve the distractions that occupy space and time in their

Speaker:

mind and run them from the external world,

Speaker:

which keep them in lower priority actions and lower values.

Speaker:

Now,

Speaker:

what is it that keeps people or stops people from living by their highest value?

Speaker:

I've asked that for many years. I've been studying values for 45 years now.

Speaker:

And what's interesting is whenever you compare yourself to somebody else,

Speaker:

you walk in a mall and you see somebody you think is more intelligent than you,

Speaker:

or more achieving than you in business, or may or more wealthy than you,

Speaker:

or possibly more stable in their relationship or have

Speaker:

or partner, or maybe they're more socially savvy and connected than you,

Speaker:

or more physically fit and attractive than you, or more spiritually aware,

Speaker:

inspired than you.

Speaker:

The moment you compare yourself to other people and put them on a pedestal,

Speaker:

you're going to minimize yourself in turn.

Speaker:

If it's just physical attraction and you look up to them physically,

Speaker:

you'll diminish your own looks, you'll have a body dysmorphia.

Speaker:

But if it's any of the other areas you have in a sense a similar dysmorphia,

Speaker:

you'll diminish yourself and you'll now exaggerate them, minimize you,

Speaker:

devalue you, and you won't put yourself first.

Speaker:

You'll tend to inject their values into your life and try to be like them,

Speaker:

try to please them, subordinate to them.

Speaker:

And then what happens you'll try to live outside your own values and you'll put

Speaker:

yourself second to others instead of being first to you. And when you do,

Speaker:

you're not living by your unique power.

Speaker:

What's interesting is when you ask people how many want to make a difference in

Speaker:

the world, they all want to put their hands up

Speaker:

and all want to make a difference.

Speaker:

But you can't make a difference fitting in and being subordinate to other people

Speaker:

around you trying to be somebody you're not.

Speaker:

You do it by standing strong in your own highest values and finding your unique

Speaker:

path and doing something original that serves and transcending and

Speaker:

doing it in a way that is in fair exchange with other people,

Speaker:

doing something you love to do that serves other people in the process that

Speaker:

fulfills that. You know,

Speaker:

as George Bernard Shaw that talked about how important it's to find that work,

Speaker:

that calling, that mission in your life, that you want to do,

Speaker:

that's of service to people, that's the key to having a fulfilling life.

Speaker:

But if you want to live authentically to yourself and put yourself in a sense

Speaker:

and value yourself first,

Speaker:

it's not comparing yourself to others and putting people above you or below you,

Speaker:

but actually putting people in your heart.

Speaker:

One of the things I do in the Breakthrough Experience Program,

Speaker:

which is my signature program I've done 1,177 times now,

Speaker:

is I show people how to have reflective awareness where the seer, the seeing,

Speaker:

and the seen are the same.

Speaker:

Instead of putting people on pedestals and minimizing yourself and exaggerating

Speaker:

them,

Speaker:

where you're now too humble to admit what you see in them inside you and you

Speaker:

have a deflected awareness, you're deflecting what you

Speaker:

Or putting people down and resenting them and minimizing them and exaggerating

Speaker:

you, which is inauthentic,

Speaker:

and having a disowned part because you're too proud to admit what you see inside

Speaker:

them is inside you.

Speaker:

Both of those distract you from being the most magnificent you.

Speaker:

Both of those disempower you because you're inauthentic.

Speaker:

Both of those give you personas and masks that you wear,

Speaker:

which are facades instead of the authentic you,

Speaker:

which is the one that's the real you. The others are imposters.

Speaker:

The real you is you. The real you is what's first.

Speaker:

The secondary ones,

Speaker:

the ones that spend time in futility trying to get others to change their lives

Speaker:

to be like you, or you trying to change your life to be like others,

Speaker:

all of that is futile.

Speaker:

It's all energy that's dissipated and holding you back from being the most

Speaker:

magnificent you doing something that serves other people in fair exchange.

Speaker:

So giving yourself permission to shine,

Speaker:

not shrink and to live authentically instead of impostered, is the key,

Speaker:

if you want to be able to put yourself first and value yourself so the world

Speaker:

will. The moment you value you, so does the world. The moment you devalue you,

Speaker:

so does the world. And what's interesting,

Speaker:

and we've all been infatuated with somebody and put them on a pedestal and

Speaker:

minimized ourself and we found ourselves sacrificing what's important to us to

Speaker:

do something what's important to them for the fear of loss of them in our life.

Speaker:

As a result of that, that infatuation makes us dependent on them,

Speaker:

juvenile in action, and we inject their values and try to be somebody we're not.

Speaker:

That's not how you empower your life. On the other hand,

Speaker:

if we get resentful to them over a period of time and say 'my way or the

Speaker:

highway' and then look down at them and

Speaker:

reject them and despise them or resent them and puff ourself up, again,

Speaker:

now we're trying to get them to live in our values. Both of those are futile.

Speaker:

You ever try to get somebody to live in your values, you'll find it's futile.

Speaker:

Marriage couples try it all the time and you just bang your head against the

Speaker:

wall and all they do is have conflict.

Speaker:

But when you actually don't put people on pedestals or pits,

Speaker:

but put them in your heart and have reflective awareness,

Speaker:

which is what I teach in the Breakthrough Experience in the Demartini Methods,

Speaker:

show people the science and how to do that. You get to love people around.

Speaker:

You get to love a part of yourself.

Speaker:

You have equity between you and them and equanimity within yourself and you

Speaker:

actually get to live by priority. And when you do,

Speaker:

you're not distracted by the impulses and instincts of infatuation resentments.

Speaker:

You're actually present and poised and purposeful and powerful and prioritized

Speaker:

and now productive.

Speaker:

And that's when you end up creating original ideas that serve human beings and

Speaker:

have true self-worth.

Speaker:

Our true self-worth is maximized and we live by our highest values and we're

Speaker:

more objective and we're not judging.

Speaker:

But our lowered self-worth emerges the second we go into judgment,

Speaker:

the second we put people on pedestals or pits and not in our heart.

Speaker:

The second we minimize or exaggerate ourselves in turn,

Speaker:

the moment we fear the loss of them because we're

Speaker:

them because we're resentful,

Speaker:

we're distracted from our power and presence and we're holding ourselves back

Speaker:

from valuing ourself and being first in our life instead of being secondary

Speaker:

distracted with imposter syndrome,

Speaker:

trying to change us relative to others or others relative to us.

Speaker:

So if you want to have true self-worth,

Speaker:

it's the synthesis between these imposter syndromes,

Speaker:

these proud and shame personas that we wear when we trying to change others or

Speaker:

trying to change ourselves relative to others.

Speaker:

Give ourselves permission to shine and be ourself. That's the key.

Speaker:

And you'll appreciate yourself. The moment you live by highest priority,

Speaker:

the more you're objective,

Speaker:

the more you actually see both sides of yourself and other people and own it

Speaker:

all, and not try to get rid of half of yourself or try to gain half of yourself,

Speaker:

but just be yourself, is the moment you actually have the greatest self-worth.

Speaker:

And that's when you end up having value yourself and love of yourself.

Speaker:

And that's when people do it too. The moment you minimize yourself,

Speaker:

you'll second guess yourself and think, I don't have what it takes.

Speaker:

The moment you exaggerate yourself,

Speaker:

you'll blame them and think they don't have what it takes.

Speaker:

Both of those are distractions. Anytime you think you're making a mistake,

Speaker:

it's because you've injected the values of other people you put on pedestals.

Speaker:

Anytime you think other people make mistake,

Speaker:

it's because you projected your values onto them and put them in pits,

Speaker:

and expected them to live in your values.

Speaker:

Neither one of those work and there are no real mistakes.

Speaker:

They're just feedback mechanisms to get you to have reflective awareness to see

Speaker:

that the people around you are reflections of you and everybody's worth putting

Speaker:

in your heart. The moment you do that and put everybody in your heart,

Speaker:

you're graceful and you're grateful. , same thing.

Speaker:

But the moment we try to put people on pedestals or pits,

Speaker:

we hold ourselves back from our magnificence.

Speaker:

So let's put that in a summary now and I hope you've got all that cause I know I

Speaker:

speak fast, but let's put it into summary. Number one,

Speaker:

identify what you value most, identify your hierarchy of values,

Speaker:

go onto the website and do the Value Determination process, drdemartini.com.

Speaker:

Go to the Value Determination process, fill that out, do it again.

Speaker:

Make sure you're honest about it and look at what's really valuable to you.

Speaker:

Then find a way of doing whatever that is in a way that's a service to another

Speaker:

human being with a remunerable sustainable fair exchange manner.

Speaker:

So you're doing what you're love and loving what you

Speaker:

up in the morning and be a service to people and tap dance to work.

Speaker:

Do that and then ask yourself,

Speaker:

what are the highest priority actions I can do today to make that happen?

Speaker:

And then stick to the highest priority actions.

Speaker:

People who fill their day with the highest priority actions are the most

Speaker:

powerful people. Then go through and keep an eye on those Value Determination.

Speaker:

That's what I do in the Breakthrough Experience.

Speaker:

I show people how to do that so they're profoundly proficient at doing that so

Speaker:

they can keep current with who they really are.

Speaker:

That's why I tell people to come to the Breakthrough Experience because it's one

Speaker:

thing to go on my website and do it,

Speaker:

but sometimes you're not always authentic with yourself when you're answering

Speaker:

the questions, be authentic. If not,

Speaker:

come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can show you to do it and hold you

Speaker:

accountable and make sure you're really setting real objectives that are really

Speaker:

matching who you really are. Then prioritize your daily life.

Speaker:

Then delegate lower priority things because if you're doing lower priority

Speaker:

things,

Speaker:

you're devaluing yourself and you're not getting on with what's most meaningful,

Speaker:

productive,

Speaker:

and powerful and producing the the results you want in life and living your

Speaker:

dreams. Then come and learn the Demartini Method,

Speaker:

which is a method I've developed over the last 50 years on how to dissolve

Speaker:

distractions and baggage.

Speaker:

People sometimes go to the the airport and they have baggage,

Speaker:

they drop it off in the baggage claim department,

Speaker:

but some people carry it on and most people are going on in their life and

Speaker:

carrying their baggage around with them instead of actually dissolving the

Speaker:

baggage. Let me show you how to dissolve the baggage with the Demartini Method.

Speaker:

It's a powerful set of questions that help you see things in a way that you see

Speaker:

the hidden order in the apparent chaos,

Speaker:

the things you judge that you're infatuated with or resented,

Speaker:

the emotional baggage that you're proud and minimizing yourself or shamed about,

Speaker:

all this emotional baggage that you carry,

Speaker:

there's a way of asking questions to make you conscious of unconscious

Speaker:

information and dissolve it. And I can show you how to dissolve that,

Speaker:

come and learn that so you can put that in the next step in dissolving the

Speaker:

baggage that you've been carrying around.

Speaker:

Because anything that you don't love in your life,

Speaker:

anything that you see as a judgment in your life weighs you down in your

Speaker:

subconscious mind and holds you back and is running you like an a automaton to

Speaker:

stimuli in the external world and making you do things that's not inspiring to

Speaker:

you, and only because of the distractions that you're holding onto in your life.

Speaker:

Any infatuation or resentment is going to occupy space and time in your mind and

Speaker:

run you until you balance it, until you neutralize it.

Speaker:

So come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can show you how to dissolve that,

Speaker:

neutralize that, see it no matter what's happened in your life on the way,

Speaker:

not in the way, so you're not carrying around baggage.

Speaker:

So you're staying focused on what's priority and having the courage to go out

Speaker:

and create original ideas that serve in a way that you can delegate because

Speaker:

you're remunerated and delegate lower priority things and live an inspired life.

Speaker:

Then you're valuing yourself. You'll put yourself first.

Speaker:

You'll be a number one in your life instead of being second at being somebody

Speaker:

else. And I don't want you to be living in the shadows of anyone.

Speaker:

I want you to stand on the shoulders of giants and realize that whatever you see

Speaker:

out there is inside you. In the Breakthrough Experience

Speaker:

I teach you also another tool on owning the traits of the greats,

Speaker:

where you see people that do extraordinary things and you go,

Speaker:

wow I'm too humble to admit that I do that.

Speaker:

I want you to know that nothing's missing in you.

Speaker:

I want you to realize that if you can admire something in somebody that you

Speaker:

think is great,

Speaker:

that's because you have that trait inside you that you're honoring in them,

Speaker:

but you're too humble to admit it.

Speaker:

Let me show you how to dissolve away that minimization of self and give yourself

Speaker:

permission to stand on their shoulders and shine and use them as stepping stones

Speaker:

instead of stumbling blocks and give yourself permission to see that nothing's

Speaker:

missing in you. It's all there. It's really very inspiring to do that.

Speaker:

Amazing things have come.

Speaker:

I've seen story after story of people that all of a sudden own the traits of the

Speaker:

greats and new opportunities.

Speaker:

The playing field that you get to play in is a new plane.

Speaker:

You're on a whole new plane because all of a sudden you realize nothing's

Speaker:

missing. See at the level of your most authentic self, your individual soul,

Speaker:

if you will, at that level, nothing's missing in you.

Speaker:

But at the level of your existence, in your senses, the world externally,

Speaker:

you think things are missing.

Speaker:

And all the things that are missing in your life that's keeping you playing

Speaker:

small is because you're too proud or too humble to admit what you see in others

Speaker:

inside you. I want you to own it all. Have nothing missing in you.

Speaker:

Have fulfillment in life.

Speaker:

You can't have fulfillment trying to get rid of half of yourself.

Speaker:

You only have fulfillment when you love all of yourself.

Speaker:

So come to the Breakthrough Experience and let me show you how to do that so you

Speaker:

can actually transform this baggage into fuel and basically realize

Speaker:

that all the things that are distracting you are nothing more than disowned

Speaker:

parts and show you how to own them. So again,

Speaker:

identify what your highest value is. Let's prioritize your life.

Speaker:

Let's delegate the lower priority things.

Speaker:

Let's get on with dissolving the baggage that's holding us and distracting us

Speaker:

from being present. Let's give ourselves permission to do and shine, not shrink.

Speaker:

Let's keep a journal of all the things we're grateful for on a daily basis so

Speaker:

we're on top of the world and we document it and we metric what we accomplish,

Speaker:

wo we end up having empowered life.

Speaker:

And then come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can make sure that you're

Speaker:

clear about what your values are, show you how to dissolve the baggage,

Speaker:

how to have a masterful life, how to be inspired by your life,

Speaker:

how to own the traits, the greats,

Speaker:

stand on their shoulders and not sit there and beat yourself up by comparison

Speaker:

and thinking like a cat you're supposed to swim or a fish you're supposed to

Speaker:

climb. Give yourself permission to do what you're called to do, your mission,

Speaker:

not somebody else's.

Speaker:

The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any any fantasies you'll

Speaker:

impose on yourself.

Speaker:

And so when you start to value yourself and live by highest priority and value

Speaker:

yourself, the unique you that shines,

Speaker:

that makes the difference comes to the surface.

Speaker:

So come and join me at the Breakthrough Experience so I can show you how to put

Speaker:

that into operation. It's one thing to hear it here in a few moments,

Speaker:

but it's another thing to actually go and do it and actually experience what

Speaker:

it's like to actually stand on the top of it.

Speaker:

Not have it where you're feeling like the world's on top of you,

Speaker:

you're on top of the world.

Speaker:

There's no reason why you can't live an inspired life.

Speaker:

I've been blessed to be able to do that.

Speaker:

I've worked for 50 years on the mastery of life and I know standing on my

Speaker:

shoulders can take you even farther.

Speaker:

So take advantage of the opportunity to come to the Breakthrough Experience,

Speaker:

go and do the Value Determination process and I know that if you follow this and

Speaker:

listen to this recording a few times,

Speaker:

it'll stick with you and I look forward to seeing you next week.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube